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" The Gravel Pit "
Brain Droppings: The Return Of The Mack
Posted by Josh Lowmon on Sep 10, 2002, 22:20
Yes fans… at long last I have returned!
Of course unlike other internet columnists I actually have 2 good reasons for being away for so long.
1. I had a baby girl named Evah on Aug. 23rd and she has been taking up a good deal of my time while trying to get adjusted to a 3rd person in the house along with my 3 cats. That and I work like 3pm to 2am so sleep has been at a premium.
2. I moved from Bellingham, WA down to Everett, WA which is about 30 minutes north of Seattle. So as you can see I have been busy. Not to mention the fact that I have been spending any free time I have had over the past 2 weeks since Evah was born trying to get stuff unpacked.
But I am here now and now is the time for… BRAIN DROPPINGS!!
Ahh… Monday. Monday was okay until HE started. He would be Jerry “The King” Lawler. Get him off my TV and get him off it now. Yes I know he is supposed to be a “horn-dog” and lesbians should excite him but Jesus Christ there are other things going on. Hyping something for later on in the show is all fine and good but when you are trying to watch a match and what you hear from the commentary booth is:
J.R.: “He just caught him with a devastating kick to the mid-section!”
J.R.: “From Hellfire and Brimstone…”
Ok so the last one was before Eric announced HLA (Hot Lesbian Action for those who aren’t in the know) but you see the point. So get thee of thy TV set unless you are going to pay attention to the stuff going on in the ring that you are being paid to be a color commentator of.
In other lesbian news, Jamal and Rosie apparently killed them on national TV. I’m just kidding they only injured one of the lesbian’s ribs. I am really not a fan of non-trained wrestlers taking bumps like that. Midgets though I don’t mind. Evil little bastards.
On a side note… are we ever going to see Jamal and Rosie wrestle anyone? God forbid the suck fest that will happen if Kane & Bradshaw win the tag titles from the Un-Americans and that is the first team Jamal and Rosie have to face. I really don’t want to see the build up of the two as being high impact monsters be taken away by two no-selling, 6 move using HOSSES~! Put them against people who can you know... sell some of their moves so as not to completely kill what has been a decent build so far.
However…if they are going to kill Bradshaw or break one his ribs then by all means go for it.
Speaking of gays and lesbians, G.L.A.A.D is probably practicing whining as we speak about the upcoming “commitment ceremony” on Smackdown between Billy and Chuck. I will be surprised if they go through with it but there could be a whole lot of jokes made out of the partners who really are “partners”. And perhaps we will be able to tell which one really is the bitch in the relationship.
In other news stolen with pride from 1wrestling.com (and by the way if you post at their forums make sure to plug both thesmartmarks.com and my site SmarkTalk.com just to piss Bob off):
TNN, its parent company CBS-Viacom, and TSN are all upset over the "HLA" segment that aired on RAW last night. TNN has already made it clear to WWE that they will not accept that type of programming on their network and released the following statement earlier to 1wrestling.com:
"TNN takes serious issue with the content of Monday night's WWE RAW episode, and has expressed its deep concern to the WWE. We don't condone the content of this episode, and will work diligently to ensure that similar occurrences do not appear again on our network."
Buulllllllshit. I guarantee you that if the ratings are solid that TNN is just covering their ass from the likes of G.L.A.A.D and the like. Let us not forget that TNN also shows Baywatch and V.I.P. TSN on the other hand I believe just because Canadians just wacky when it comes to broadcasting. I mean, let people swear but no violence towards women in a staged manner? WTF?
And by the way I do get CBUT and a couple other stations so I do somewhat know what I am talking about.
Looks like there is a new Triple H DVD called That Damn Good coming out that is exclusive to Best Buy and features these matches among other features:
-Triple H vs. Vince McMahon.: Armageddon 12.12.99
-Triple H vs. Cactus Jack: Royal Rumble 01.23.00
-Triple H vs. Chris Jericho: Fully Loaded 07.23.00
-Triple H vs. The Rock vs. Kurt Angle: Summerslam 08.27.00
-Triple H vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin: No Way Out 02.25.01
-Triple H's Return From Injury: Raw 01.07.02
-Triple H vs. Chris Jericho: Wrestlemania X8 03.17.02
I will probably pick it up because I like HHH and I love DVD’s with a lot of matches. I am probably going to get this and Hulk Still Rules tomorrow or ask for them for my birthday or something since September 14th will be my 21st. Or if you my great fans wish to buy me one or the other you can e-mail me. If Edward Robins a Velocity recapper of all things can have one then goddamn it I DESERVE one.
Of course I am kidding because Ed does a great job. Unlike Dr. Tom. Kidding, kidding.
Speaking of my birthday… I want to go back to last year. Last year sucked for me as my dad was coming down to Las Vegas (when I was still living there) and was going to fly down on the 12th. Well 9/11 happened (I woke up to ESPN and thought t was odd that they were showing planes crashing into the World Trade Center and immediately switched to FOX News and I don’t think I need to go into the horror of that day I am sure everyone knows what happened) and he wasn’t able to make it until the 14th which was a bummer because that meant my birthday was the National Day of Mourning so lets hope this year is a little more uplifting.
And don’t forget to stop by SmarkTalk.com and check out the SmarkTalk.com Forums as well as the really great columns.
Well that’s all for me except for ….
That’s right! The Vincearoonie!
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