Wrestling
Why I hate Zach Gowan, and Why it's Vince's Fault.
By Matt Ditaliano
Jul 12, 2003, 01:24

I have been trying to deny it. In fact, I�d say it�s probably the last thing I want to admit. I�ve come up with excuses, blamed my mood, decided that I was just watching the show to cynically. But, last night, I was forced to admit the awful truth.

I HATE Zach Gowan.

Now, I�m sure he�s a fine guy in real life, and he obviously has a lot of strength and character. He�s gone through more than many of us can even imagine. Hell, for all I know, he could be The New Robin Hood, stealing from McMahon and giving to me. That doesn�t change the fact that I can�t stomach the Zach Gowan character, his push, and how he portrays himself on TV. And not only is that really, really kind of sad, it�s damn stupid.

For Christ sakes, the guy has one leg! How on EARTH could anyone book a one legged wrestler in such a way where there are people (not just me, fuck, look at the Air Canada Center the other night) so sick, so tired, and so annoyed with him and his character that we can�t stand the site of him? It should be a no-brainer to make this guy a sympathetic, under-dog face that tries valiantly, despite his handicap. Sometimes he wins, sometimes he loses, but each time he�s on TV, you can see that he has a ton of heart and that he tries his hardest against such adversity. It�s that simple to get the crowd behind him. Of course, we have �geniuses� Vince and Stephanie McMahon writing this shit, so we got probably the exact opposite of that.

Instead of a �plucky� underdog babyface trying to prove himself in short matches every week over lower card guys, we have an obnoxious, over confident kid dominating the show, intertwined in a feud with the three top authority figures, taking attention off of everything else, including the main event. Something went horribly, horribly wrong.

The first huge mistake that they made was bringing this guy in as just some random fan. This would start the motions for every other reason this push sucks. But I�ll get to that soon enough. By bringing this guy in as �just a random fan� we are supposed to assume that he has no formal ring training. He�s just some random schmoe. He could be me. He could be you! So, why exactly does Joe Nobody want a contract? And what has he done to earn one? The fact that he has one leg? That�s why he deserves a wrestling contract despite not being a wrestler? And we�re supposed to be upset that McMahon won�t give in to his demands? Now, if they would have just debuted him like any other debuting wrestler, instead of this fighting over a contract for two months bullshit, the fans might actually get behind the guy as he climbs the ladder.

Speaking of fighting over a contract for two months, CHRIST ON A CRACKER, could they have made this guy look like any MORE of a failure? They dragged this hideously boring �Gowan has no contract� storyline on forever. He had like two or three shots at a contract that he lost. Once again, why in all hell are we supposed to get behind a guy who can�t get something accomplished? Is this an admirable trait? Are we supposed to love his tenacity? Well, it hasn�t worked.

The biggest mistake that this whole �no contract� push has made is inserting this kid right into the top storyline of SD! With no fanfare, and more importantly, not fan support. He was basically sent out to the wolves. And believe me, we are the goddamned wolves. It took some people longer than others, but as soon as we realized that this green somewhat unover rookie would be added to the growing stable of non-wrestlers controlling Smackdown! and taking TV time away from people that we liked and felt had earned that time (not to mention the world champion and number one contender) we unleashed out fury. And some of the fans seemed to as well. Like I said, this poor kid was probably doomed from the start.

However, the most disastrous result of not bringing him in as an actual wrestler was that, well, they didn�t let the guy WRESTLE. He went through every other wrestling clich� before ever actually getting in the ring. And really, that�s why they brought him in: for the novelty of seeing a one-legged wrestler fly around the ring. The guy wasn�t signed for any other reason. Sure, he�s a good wrestler. But how many good wrestlers continue to go unnoticed by the WWF? And, save for one segment, he isn�t exactly winning an Oscar anytime soon, so it wasn�t his amazing acting ability. Finally, while not rail thin, he�s not the typical WWF Hoss that gets hired on size alone.

So, obviously, you hired the guy to wrestle and show case his one-leggedness. THEN WHY THE FUCK DID THEY KEEP HIM OUT OF THE RING? They stalled and waited and dawdled and just kept this �no contract� angle going on for what seemed like forever. To the point where, when it was finally announced that he was going to wrestle, a good percentage of the fans had already lost interest. He could have been huge. Instead, he is what he is. Of course, things got no better from here. His first match was against world title contender Big Show, so of course he couldn�t win on his own. He needed a partner, two run-ins, two finishing moves and a steel chair to win. Not exactly a guy that you can get behind, and it was starting to show with fans going mild Thursday for his big contract signing. So, what do you do? Scale the push back a little? Build him up from scratch with a lower midcard push? Why, you�re not Vince McMahon! If you were, you�d give him the Billy Gunn � push where you just kept pushing him, despite what the fans might think. It�s gotten to the point where he�s starting to get booed (In Toronto) and they show no signs of trying to fix this situation. It�s almost like they WANT us to hate him. They have so fucked this guy over, and unfortunately, I don�t think he can be saved.

Hopefully for his sake, he can.

I'll never see any side of Heaven.
I'll walk for miles through a blazing Hell.




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