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From TheSmartMarks.com TNA By: Bobby "HartFan86" Trask Aloha, fellow Smart Marks! This is HartFan86, better known as HartFan86 from the forums, and I am your NEEEEEEEEEEEEW Sunday Night Heat recap/rant/review/you get the point guy. I was originally going to do Velocity, but that position was already taken so the one and only Dames hooked me up with this gig. Now, my reviews are pretty similar and straight to the point. I do the play by play, give insight on certain parts of a match, and basically rate the match at the end. No, I don�t use stars, but I give you a pretty straight answer as to whether or not the match sucks or not (You really can�t go into watching Heat and expect a **** classic, so you make the best out of watching it.) So enough about me, let�s get to the show. -Your hosts are The Coach and Al Snow, and we aren�t LIVE from Indy. La Resistance v. Garrison (Ahem, LANCE, Please just call him that. PLEASE.) Cade & Mark Jindrak. Cade and Jindrak have Titantrons, for all you people who care of that stuff. Oh, and it takes about 5 seconds by the announcers to talk about JR being lit on fire. Sylvan attacks Jindrak before the bell, but eventually eats a clothesline and a dropkick by Mark, who makes a tag to Cade. Big props to the guy with the �I�M LAUGHING AT YOU KANE� sign. Cade works the arm for a bit, but Dupree eventually gets the tag. Cade knocks Dupree down and gets a 2. Dupree gets back on the offense and slugs away. Dupree throws him into the ropes and Sylvan hits Cade in the back with his leg. Dupree nails a high knee which sends Cade to the outside, and of course, like an asshole heel, Dupree taunts Jindrak, who then distracts the ref while Grenier beats on Cade on the outside. Those bastards. Dupree gets a 2 count after Jindrak breaks it up. No tag behind the ref�s back, and Grenier is back in choking away. Poor Jindrak, the guy has a horrible, boring match with Jericho and he�s now on Heat. I�m not trying to defend him because it was a really poor match, but I think a lot of it had to do with the crowd being perplexed about how stupid of a move it was by the WWE to try to turn Jericho heel in Canada of all places, so obviously they won�t boo him... just give him no heat. But Vince McMahon is a multimillionaire, so what do I know? I�m just a 13 year old kid who uses his mom�s computer. Bodyslam by Grenier and we hit the chinlock. Tag is made and Dupree hits the 3/4 headlock. Tag is made again, but Grenier stupidly knocks Cade into Jindrak and the tag is made. Jindrak is a HOUSE OF FIRE~! and starts to beat on both guys. Irish whip on Grenier, which turns into a backdrop. And Dupree gets one as well. Jindrak is whipped into the corner, but leapfrogs to the top rope ala Bull Buchanan and comes back with a clothesline for 2. Cade picks up Grenier and it looks to be a HART ATTACK~!~!, but Jindrak dropkicks him down instead of clothesline. .....AND THAT FINISHES IT @ 3:43? The hell? You job the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS to two OVW guys on Sunday Night Heat...CLEAN. Who did Team France piss off? Maybe it�s leading to something, but that was so unexpected. Match was blah, but hot finish. We head to commercial. Last Monday, Al Snow goes for an interview with Stevie Richards, who is with Victoria. Oh, and Stevie is �officially� the GM of Sunday Night Heat and next week we�ll see Goldust vs. Stevie. At least it�s different, to say the least. Tommy Dreamer vs. Nick Dinsmore. Ha! Dinsmore worked Heat & Smackdown as Conquistdor #2,343. Hey, what�s up with Dreamer showing up at ROH again? Is he even allowed to do something like that? Not that Vince could care about him, or anything. Bell rings, and it�s on. We exchange some wrestling holds to start, but Dinsmore goes to the eyes. Dreamer takes advantage, but Dinsmore quickly bails. Dreamer hits a suplex on Dinsmore back off the apron into the ring. Dreamer goes for a charge in the corner, but Dinsmore moves and eats nothing but the steel. Dinsmore goes to work on the arm. Well, duh. If he didn�t, Cornette would probably chew his ass out. Dinsmore gets a 2 count, but keeps working back on the arm. He hits a bodyslam. Should of been an hammerlock slam ala Anderson, but meh. Dinsmore heads to the 2nd rope and gets Dreamer�s boot right in his face. Dreamer hits a couple of neckbreakers for TWOOOOOO. Dreamer hits a Sky High off an Irish whip for two, and I have to now take the time for the cheap plug and say check out my sig on TSM for the NWF videos (and soon to be website) because J-Fly uses the Fly High for his finisher. Get it? Okay, anyways, back to Heat. Dreamer hits the Spicolli Driver out of nowhere for the pin @ 3:21. Dinsmore tried to work the psychology, but kind of hard in 3 minutes to do. Decent match, for the time that was given. TNN has to make money, so we go to commercial. We are back, and we see quick footage of Booker�s victory in Montreal on Raw for the IC Title. We then go back and see the Christian/Booker rematch on Raw, followed by Austin beating the tar out of Christian after the match. Clipped, of course. I really like Christian�s current theme song, but I think it doesn�t fit him very well. I think Christian�s new song would work for someone like Lesnar, though. He should of just kept his remix of �At Last.� And back to commercial. The Hurricane v. Rob Conway. This match could ROCK, but since I�m guessing it will be about 3 minutes long, then probably not. And HA! Conway works SD and Raw as well. Cleaver, WWE, Cleaver. Hurricane extends the hand, but like a real asshole, Conway kicks him in the gut. Funny spot as Hurricane claps for Conway after he hits an Irish whip, but Hurricane holds onto the ropes and Conway still does a leap frog. Hurricane gets Conway to the outside, and hits a plancha. Conway gets the advantage again and pounds away. Back in the ring, Conway punches and chokes away in the corner. Gotta love WWE Style. Irish whip, and Conway hits a knee to the Hurricane�s gut. Neckbreaker by Conway gets a TWOOOOO, followed by another TWOOOOO. Hurricane eventually gets a rollup for two, followed by a clothesline. Both guys eventually make their way back to their feet and Hurricane hits an atomic drop, followed by a double arm takedown (I dunno what you call that move) for TWOOOO. Hurricane hits the neckbreaker, but Conway is in the ropes. Conway gets an eye poke, but Hurricane hits the Tornado DDT off an Irish whip. Hurricane hits the Shining Wizard for 3 @ 3:37. BLAH. That match could have been really good, but I predicted it would suck. Decent for the time, but nothing more then a filler match. Backstage, Jackie Gayda is having inappropriate thoughts of me. Uh, I mean she�s getting coffee and she drops her straw so she can end over and camera can get this freaky zoom right on her ass, and Venis comes in the skit. Val says she could be in his next porn flick, but Rico is here to save the day! ....but he wants to be in one of Val�s videos and the whole segment gets really gay. As Dr. Evil would say... ...riiiight. Commercial. Back, and we take a look at Kane lighting Jim Ross on fire. I know a lot of people have mixed thoughts on this segment, but here�s how I look at it. Vince, for whatever reason, feels it�s necessary to really overpush the �Sports Entertainment� factor in segments. Remember the Rock/Hogan confrontation on the Chicago RAW back in Feb. of 2002? That was one of the best confrontation/beatdown segments the WWF/E has ever produced. But how did they ruin it? By having Rock hit with a semi. This segment was going very good as it established a brand new direction of Kane�s character...his burns are superficial and because of the fire, he�s a mess in the head and Jim Ross says that people are there to help. But how do they ruin it? They have Kane light JR on fire, not to mention the HORRIBLE effects of the segment itself. I guess it makes Kane a monster, but couldn�t they have done a better job at making it look more realistic, even though I personally don�t even feel they needed to do the lighting on fire angle? And how long are they expecting Ross off Raw because if he�s back in two weeks, no one will believe it. Also, and I know they might be going somewhere with this, but why is Bischoff blaming Austin for everything? He�s the one who added the mask stipulation with his match with Triple H. Oh, and if it means anything, The Coach informs us that JR suffered 1st degree burns on his leg, and 2nd degree burns on his back and neck...and JR is gone indefinitely. That�s great and all, but why after saying that THE NEXT VIDEO CLIP YOU SHOW HAS THE FIRE NOT ON JR�S NECK? It�s simple, guys. Please don�t insult our intelligence. Commercial. Val Venis vs. Rico (w/Miss Jackie). Look, Jackie may suck at wrestling, but boy is she hot. Rico interrupts Venis� pre-match promo, by the way. Bell rings, and let me take a minute to say it�s kind of a shame how the WWE uses Rico. Despite his age, he could do SO much more with a better gimmick. His work in OVW was incredible, he has great charisma, and gets major heel heat quite often at house shows. Giving him this gay type gimmick just does nothing. Unless Rico actually digs these types of gimmicks. Rico plays some mind games to start as a �Rico Sucks� chant begins. See what I mean? The guy shows up and within 10 seconds of the match the crowd is already on his case. Rico hits the headlock/kiss escape spot again as we get some more stalling. We exchange some wrist locks and Rico hits the spot where he keeps somersaulting, despite the fact he�s no longer in the hold. Val has had enough, and decks Rico followed by a few elbows. Knee drop gets TWOOOO. Val hits a Rock Bottom type move for TWOOOO. Irish whip, and Rico hits the sleeper, but Val counters into one of his own, yet Rico counters into a back suplex for 2. Val hits somewhat of a Blue Thunder Driver (Please don�t shoot me if that�s not what it�s called) for 2. Val chops away, but Jackie distracts Val and Rico takes advantage with a roll up for a three count @ 3:34. That finish came out of NOWHERE. Match was mostly Rico acting gay. Coach & Snow hype up HBK/Jericho and RVD/Kane for RAW, plus Linda McMahon�s appearance. My thoughts on this RAW? I�ve got a weird feeling we might see a double turn with HBK/Jericho, but they dropped the ball on that one in Montreal. And Kane/RVD is probably going to have some huge spot that kills RVD and makes Kane look like a monster. Final Thoughts: Decent Heat as you had a few short matches that were decent, but that�s all you can expect out of this show. For now, we�ll see you next week. © Copyright by TheSmartMarks.com |