Wrestling
Booker T's parents are dead, he's been arrested and Lawler sucks
By Nik Johnson
Nov 20, 2003, 15:40

This week�s Raw saw a match between Booker T and Mark Henry. Throughout the match, Jerry �The King� Lawler, who is the colour commentator, made several remarks about Booker T, and his past:

 [Booker T fights out of a chinlock]

Ross: You know, he�ll never quit on you. The youngest of eight children, he lost his daddy at 10 months of age, his mom 12 years old.

Lawler (Bored): Keep talking... tell us all his history

Yeah � that�s right, Jerry. Who cares about putting the guy over as a �never say die� wrestler. Especially since, y�know, the story of the match is that Mark Henry can�t be taken down and beaten. The whole point is that Booker T won�t lay down and give up, and that he wants his revenge on Henry for pinning him at Survivor Series. Jesus� you could give the background of the match to any idiot and have them put it over properly. Instead, Jerry has to act BORED while Jim Ross talks about Booker�s parents dying.

Whether or not Ross should have brought up Booker�s parents is irrelevant here. The fact is, he did bring it up, and Lawler acted like he couldn�t care less. I think that is crossing the line between Booker T the character, and Booker T the real person. It�s the difference between the Big Boss Man mocking the Big Show�s storyline father�s death and them doing an angle about Big Show�s real dad.

Actually, as a treat, courtesy of wrestlecrap.com, here�s the eulogy that the Boss Man gave:

[Mark Henry has a chinlock on]

Lawler: Booker T lost his family, he�s going to lose more than that right here

What. The. Fuck?

For a start, it doesn�t even make sense. What�s he going to lose that is more than his family? His neck? His dignity? Think before you try and make a joke. I know that not every joke is going to be funny, but that is the most nonsensical rubbish I�ve heard in a long while.

Secondly, he�s only fighting Mark fucking Henry, and it�s only a fucking chinlock. It�s not like he�s in a sharpshooter with blood pissing down his face.

Lawler: Can I get a word in here? You wanna talk about Booker being a self made man� Let�s not forget he spent a little time in the penitentiary. Why don�t we tell the folks that?
Ross: [mumbles]... you do every week
Lawler: Well I like to let people know about Booker T�s past

For those of you who aren�t aware of the Booker T situation, here�s The Smoking Gun�s explanation:

WWE wrestler Booker T. (real name: Booker Tio Huffman) was arrested in 1987 after committing several armed robberies of Wendy's restaurants in Houston (at the time, Booker flipped burgers for the chain). Booker subsequently pleaded guilty and served 19 months in prison.

Well, if we want to drag up people�s pasts, let�s start with a certain underage girl. Okay, she later admitted to making up the rape allegations, but I�m sure that Jerry would love Booker T to bring it up every week. See, Jerry didn�t even mention it in his not-best selling auto biography. If he could take it, I wouldn�t mind if he gave it out.

Also mentioned on a few websites (nothing reputable, so take it how you will), Lawler was also arrested after throwing a parking ticket at, and running over the foot of the woman who gave the ticket to him.

Or we could talk about Stacy "The Kat" Carter (not to be confused with Ernest "The Cat" Miller), Lawler�s (I believe ex-)wife, who sucked a football player�s cock while they were still together, and the photos leaked onto the internet. I�d love to see Ross bring that up during a Lawler match.

Ross: He paid his debt to society. And he has� he made a mistake and he admitted it. He paid his debt to society. He�s been a changed man ever since

Lawler: He made another mistake when he asked for this match

Again, what the Hell is that supposed to mean? Is it reasonable to bring up Booker�s imprisonment every time he fucks up?

[scene: WWE canteen]

[Booker T, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross and Triple H are sitting around a table]

Ross: This chicken is gawd aful

Lawler: I know, I think I�m going to be sick

Triple H: I know what you mean� I can�t keep it down(~!)

Booker T: Ah, shit. I forgot the salt

Ross: That�s an amateur mistake

[everyone laughs] Lawler: Talking of mistakes... that armed robbery in Wendy�s that cost you 19 months of your freedom was a mistake

[Lawler laughs that stupid fucking laugh, quite loudly]

[silence]

So why does he do it?

I�m not Jerry Lawler, so I don�t know what is going on in his head. So let�s eliminate some possibilities:

1) Putting Booker T over

Booker is a babyface. He�s booked as one, he acts like one, and there�s no sight of an imminent heel turn. So there�s no reason at all for his criminal past to be brought up. If he was doing a Repo Man gimmick, then it would make some sense.

2) Putting Jerry Lawler over

Jerry is interesting, since he seems to be a tweener at the moment � neither face nor heel. During the neverending �Eric Bischoff and Chief Morley bully Jim Ross� angle, Jerry was always quick to stand up for Ross. Again, in the Coach & Al Snow vs. Ross and Lawler match, he played a good guy. Yet he has a tendency to stand up for the heels, especially Evolution. He never goes so far as to justify cheating, but he tries to explain it. Talking about Booker in that way is out of character for him: He�s never been a bully.

3) Putting over an angle

As I said with regard to putting Booker T over: It isn�t relevant. Booker isn�t doing much at the moment; he�s playing a minor part in the Bischoff vs. Faces feud. The match against Mark Henry was retribution for his elimination at the Survivor Series, so bringing up his past like that is slightly relevant. Ross was trying to show that he�s a fighter; he�s a survivor. Yet Lawler pisses all over it.
 

So what reasoning could Lawler possibly have for comments like this?

I have no idea.  If you have any idea at all, drop me an e-mail, otherwise it's safe to assume that he's just a bit of an ass.

But hey... it�s still less annoying than "PUPPIES"~!

Nik
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I'll be back on Sunday or Monday with a review of the wrestlecrap book.

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