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From TheSmartMarks.com TNA Raw from JHawk's Beak (3/22/2004) Segment 1 Many of the Raw superstars are already in their locker room, as are the superstars of SmackDown! And Mr. McAsshole greets Eric Bischoff and Paul E. Heyman (w/neckbrace) to go over the lottery. Each man will have a bin with the other team's roster. There will be 12 picks. They are allowed a trade provided they make it before midnight. Bischoff asks if the champions are exempt, and no, they're not. Even the ones who aren't here, like Randy Orton after having his tonsils removed. And the GMs stare each other down again. L-I-V-E LIVE from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan! The King and Good Ol' JR are together for possibly to present the draft lottery! And Michael Cole and Tazz are also in attendance! Out comes Bischoff, who is followed by Heyman, and Heyman apparently gets the first pick. Heyman gets booed ("thank you for your irrelevant opinion"), and he has a personal note for the fans. A "you suck" chant ("You really attract a classy group, Eric."). The Undertaker tombstoned Heyman on Thursday, and rather than go to the Board of Directors, Heyman will deal with him in his own way on Thursday. Well, if he's on SmackDown after tonight. Heyman draws the first name, and one of the premier groups on Raw has been broken up. Rene Dupree is on SmackDown! A graphic goes over the stats for Dupree, noting he was the youngest tag team champion ever. Nice touch. Dupree and Heyman pose for pictures, then Dupree makes his way to the ring. Dupree grabs a mic and tries to get the crowd to shut up to no avail. Dupree's on SmackDown, but "I will die in hell" before allowing his last Raw memory being Austin giving him the Stunner last week. Dupree wants one last Raw match and issues an open challenge. And it's answered. One fall: Rene Dupree vs. Y2J+4 A slap by Dupree, and that just angers Jericho, who decides to just punch away at Dupree. Elbowsmash. A series of chops. Dupree with a sunset flip, but Jericho rolls through and goes for the Walls of Jericho. Dupree grabs the ropes, and Chad Patton calls for the break. Springboard dropkick by Jericho, and Dupree goes outside, so Jericho follows. Back in, and Jericho with a dropkick. A springboard bodyblock is countered by a Dupree dropkick, and Dupree covers for 2. Fistdrop for 2. Jericho with a roll up for 2. Running forearm smash. A series of chops, but Dupree clotheslines Jericho for 2. Jericho blocks a whip and drop toeholds Dupree into the ropes. Choke against the ropes, followed by the Squisher (tm Kevin Nash). An enzuigiri gets the pin at 3:07. Short but energetic affair. * An angry Dupree claims he was cheated and demands respect, so out comes Sheriff Austin. Well, this is gonna defeat the purpose of the entire segment for Dupree, isn't it? Austin asks for a handshake, but it's just a setup for a Stunner. COMMERCIAL BREAK So far, I'm liking the lottery. The graphic going over the statistics for the wrestlers is a nice touch, and we even got a pretty decent match to kick things off tonight. I even like the finish, as letting matches finish with something besides the finishing move should leave fans on the edge of their seats since the end can come at any time. No surprises as far as the postmatch Stunner goes (who didn't see that coming a mile away?). Segment 2 Rico and Miss Jackie are in the ring, and it's time for Raw's first pick. And if SmackDown's so great, why is Raw hosting the lottery? Probably to keep spoilers from being leaked, Eric. Bischoff has great news for Heyman. Don't worry about whether they're self-proclaimed or not, because The World's Greatest Tag Team has been split up. Raw now has Shelton Benjamin. Benjamin and Charlie Haas aren't happy, but they'll shake hands as Benjamin takes his SmackDown shirt off. Bischoff has a cap and shirt for Shelton, but Kane spoils the party. One fall: Rico vs. Kane Wow, they sorta remembered Kane beating on Rico a few weeks ago. Or not. Big boot by Kane. Choke Slam, pin at 26 seconds. DUD Kane stops at the top of the ramp and says it doesn't matter what show he's on, but he'd better not be on the same show with The Undertaker. We're all praying for that, Kane. Heyman: "Why don't you have a little bit of control over your superstars? I don't want to be on the same show as The Undertaker either." Heyman makes his second pick, and he likes it, because another super group has been broken up. JR will no longer be able to call this gentleman a "blue chipper", because SmackDown welcomes Mark Jindrak. Garrison Cade and Jindrak shake hands as that's three tag teams broken up in as many picks. The graphic acknowledges Jindrak's WCW Tag Team Title reign. And the World Tag Team Titles are on the line in the main event. Rob Van Dam and Booker T vs. Ric Flair and Batista. COMMERCIAL BREAK It's starting to become very telegraphed that Evolution might actually stay intact after tonight, as Heyman mentions the breakup of a supergroup, they show Triple H sweating backstage, and then it's just a regular tag team. I'm just hoping that a couple of teams stay intact at this point, especially if they want to continue letting each show have their own tag team champions. Segment 3 Even the Holy Bible Kid is up for grabs, and he's worried. Bischoff's second pick is up, and "if it wasn't already obvious that Raw was the home of good-looking people", Nidia is now on Raw. Well, she's actually trained to wrestle, so that's a good call. And the fact that her measurements are 38-24-36 actually makes the on-screen graphic. She comes out to shake Bischoff's hand while still wearing her SmackDown shirt. Nidia's excited to be on Raw so she can wrestle for the Women's Title, and she changes shirts on stage to reveal a nice yellowish bra. Heyman: "Congratulations, Nidia. I hope you go blind again." It's already time for Heyman's third pick, but before we can get that far, let's bring out John Cena. Want proof that Cena's over? Listen to that chant. Cena's rapping to put himself over, saying he's the pick each man wants to keep...and he gets a "choke on deez nuts" reference in. Way to take advantage of being live. Cena takes a ball out of the hopper and hands it to Heyman, and Bischoff insists that Heyman make that his pick. Bad move, because Heyman even asks Bischoff if he's sure he wants Heyman to have the pick. See, SmackDown now has control over Triple H, who shakes his head in disbelief. COMMERCIAL BREAK Let's look at the positives. Everybody was worried about Triple H getting the belt back from Benoit, and that's not going happen unless Benoit is also moved over to SmackDown. On the down side: I once again have to watch Triple H every single week once Dames takes back his show, and I quite liked not having dominate airtime on my show. Segment 4 Moments ago, John Cena gave Paul Heyman Triple H on a silver platter. During the break, the entire locker room sang "Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye" to Triple H. Classic! Look at those career highlights for Triple H...and fear for Eddie Guerrero's future. One fall: Christian (w/Trish Stratus) vs. L'il Spike Dudley Trish is wearing her Raw shirt on her ass. This comes after last week, where Christian attacked Spike as he made his way to the ring for a "match". Spike quickly gets a headbutt and a cover, but the referee stops counting at one without an actual kickout. Spike goes after Trish and gets hold of a leg, but Christian attacks from behind. Slingshot into the middle rope. Choke against the ropes. And Trish doing one as well. Christian with a series of kicks and a forearm. Spike fights back and counters a bodyslam into a DDT for a near fall. Spike counters a suplex with a rolling cradle for 2. Christian charges, but Spike moves and Christian goes to the floor. Spike off the top with a plancha, and he rolls Christian back in. Spike up top, but Christian crotches him on the top turnbuckle. A superplex is blocked by Spike, and he comes off the top with a double stomp for a near fall. Christian rams Spike's shoulder into the ringpost, and the Unprettier gets the pin at 3:18. They crammed a lot of action into barely three minutes. *1/4 JR: "What kind of woman likes to have her hair pulled?" Lawler: "You need to get out more often." Pick #3 for Bischoff, but he's so distraught that he's going to find Mr. McMahon. COMMERCIAL BREAK Is it wrong for me to be really enjoying this show at this point? Another match that's as good as you can get for three minutes, and the reactions of the entire roster is selling the concept of this show really well. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the reaction of the Raw locker room wasn't exactly planned, although it would have had to be for it to air. Segment 5 Bischoff tries to convince McMahon that the pick wasn't legal, and Raw can't live without Hunter, but the pick was announced and therefore legal. Heyman has a radical idea ("something that doesn't happen on Raw"), but what if Eddy Guerrero defended the SmackDown Title on Raw against Triple H? NOOOOO! But Heyman is looking after SmackDown's best interests. Eddy might go to Raw, so he's looking after his best interests...and Vince is looking after both brand's best interests, so the match is official. Back on the ramp, and Bischoff won't let Heyman upstage him, so Bischoff is going to shake things up. And whoever he picks next gets a shot at Chris Benoit tonight. And Bischoff likes his pick, because it's someone Bischoff has admired for a long time. One who can match Benoit's intensity. And he's a hometown boy: The Man Beast Rhyno. I thought we wanted new rivalries. We even acknolwdge his ECW World Title reign (and they even refer to him as "ECW World Champion" in the graphic). Rhyno tosses the SmackDown shirt into Heyman's face. And on top of two World Title matches, we still have the World Tag Team Titles on the line: NEXT! COMMERCIAL BREAK Did anybody else get a bad feeling when McMahon made the match between Eddy and Triple H official? I mean, the fans love Eddy, walk-up ticket sales have gone up since he won the title at No Way Out, and now the boss' son-in-law gets a title shot against him on what's bound to be highest-rated Raw in months? But I have to admit, I'm looking forward to seeing the match. I just would have waited to put it on pay-per-view. Segment 6 One fall for the World Tag Team Championship: Booker T and Rob......Van......Dam (champions) vs. Batista and The Man WHOO! Official prediction: The losing team gets split up tonight. Of course, Flair and Batista were the team Booker and RVD beat to win the titles. Booker and Flair start. Booker into the hammerlock. Flair elbows out of it. Dropkick by Booker T. Flair with a chop and a tag to Batista. Booker with an elbow after a corner whip, and a tag to RVD. Batista blocks a monkey flip, but not a flying bodypress, and RVD gets 2. Dropkick to the knee, and a tag to Booker. Nice double team for a near fall. Batista traps Booker in the corner and tags in Flair. A series of chops, and Booker fights back. Flair flop! Backdrop by Booker, and he begs off. Flair with the thumb to the eye (to a pop) and the strut. Irish whip into Batista's knee. Chop for 2. Bodyslam. Kneedrop. RVD tries to rally the crowd behind Booker. Flair with a series of chops, and Booker chops his way out of the corner. Elbow by Flair, and up top...that never works, so Booker slams him off the top. Tag to RVD and the Five Star Frog Splash, but Batista makes the save. COMMERCIAL BREAK Well, aside from that not being a legal tag (you must have both feet on the mat and have hold of the tag rope while reaching over the top rope...a rule largely forgotten in this day and age), but this has been a decent match thus far. At some point though, Batista has to start doing more of the wrestling, as Flair is doing most of the work, and at his age he simply can't take the bumps like he used to. Segment 7 Apparently the tag didn't count, as Batista is trying to keep Booker in a reverse chinlock, but Booker breaks it and gets a leg lariat. There's the tag to RVD, and some more teamwork leads to a near fall. Flair with a chop block to RVD's knee behind the referee's back. Flair tags in and stomps away at the leg. Figure-four leglock! Booker rallies the crowd behind RVD. RVD reaches the ropes to force the break. Flair kicks the knee. RVD gets in an enzuigiri, and we get another Flair Flop. Stepover spin kick by RVD, and we get tags on both ends. Booker with a flying forearm. Leg lariat. Chops and punches. Book End, but instead of a cover, it's a SPINNAROONIE, TONY! Flair runs in and gets a boot for his effort, and a Scissor Kick for Batista gets 2 before Flair makes the save. RVD with rolling thunder to Flair, but that hurt the knee. Batista sets up the Sitout Power Bomb, RVD springboards in for the save, but Batista sees it coming and pushes Booker back, so RVD accidentally kicks Booker in the head. Batista gets the Sitout Power Bomb for the pin and the titles (to a surprising pop) at 13:32. ** COMMERCIAL BREAK I hate to say this, but Batista and Flair's performance tonight put last week's title match with the Dudley Boyz to shame. And even I'm amazed by the pop from the crowd. I don't know if that was a respect pop for Flair or if Evolution is just catching on that much, but a good portion of that crowd actually seemed happy for the title change. Segment 8 Still two title matches to come tonight in Detroit. Paul Heyman to make his fourth pick, and he's proud to announce the reunion of the hardcore genius of Paul Heyman and "Mr. Thursday Night" Rob Van Dam. Christ, even a change of shows can't get RVD away from the Triple H Burial Ground. Backstage, Booker and RVD say it's OK, because there's a rematch clause in the contract, but Coach informs RVD that forget that because he's been drafted. Neither of them can believe it because they're a team. One fall for the World Heavyweight Championship: Chris BenOIT (champion) vs. The Man Beast Rhyno JR: "And Chris Benoit didn't get that belt handed to him. He won an epic battle..." Cheap shot. I love it. Shouldn't the Raw Title match be last on its own show though? Rhyno punches Benoit in the corner, but Benoit fights back. Double forearm smash. Snap suplex. Forearm smash. Chop. Rhyno reverses a corner whip but eats an elbow coming in. Rhyno quickly gains the advantage and drops Benoit face first onto the top turnbuckle for 2. Rhyno with the sharpshooter. Benoit reaches the ropes to force the break. Benoit blocks a turnbuckle smash and rams Rhyno into the turnbuckle instead. Benoit can't get the German suplex, and he can't get the sharpshooter either, as Rhyno reaches the ropes. Trading blows in mid-ring, and Benoit gets the rolling Germans in. Up top...Swan Dive Headbutt for 2. Rhyno reverses a whip and hits the spinebuster. Rhyno sets Benoit up...but Benoit avoids the Gore and locks in the Crippler Crossface for the submission victory at 4:36. Even World Title matches can last less than five minutes. *1/2 Bischoff watches the action from backstage, and Shawn Michaels taps him on the shoulder. And Michaels wants a shot, but he wants Triple H more, so he wants traded to SmackDown. Bischoff refuses, and in fact, he grants Michaels a title shot against Benoit...provided they're both still on Raw as of midnight tonight. That's cool with HBK, because taking the title is the best way to get back at Triple H. And speaking of Triple H, he gets Eddy Guerrero for the SmackDown Title later tonight! COMMERCIAL BREAK Another short match, but they've worked against each other enough that they got a decent contest out of it. And short title matches are OK on occasion, as quick knockouts are prevalent in boxing and blowouts are prevalent in Super Bowls. But I question the decision to announce a pay-per-view main event before the trading deadline. Not that it matters when the draft isn't exactly at random, but it doesn't help the realism of this show if Shawn and Benoit are both still on Raw at the end of the night. Of course, I hope they do both stay on Raw, as I loved the first match between them and a PPV rematch could be a match of the year candidate if both men are motivated. Segment 9 Eric Bischoff makes his fourth pick (looking at the clock, I guess it's six picks apiece to equal 12 picks). And Tajiri Yoshihiro is now on Raw. So much for a future cruiserweight title push. Heyman asks that we skip the cap and shirt routine and makes his next pick: Theodore R. Long. Jazz doesn't look happy. Since Heyman wants to pick up the pace (and since we're running long), Bischoff makes his next pick: Edge. Heyman is upset about that since Edge is on injured reserve. Heyman: "Wipe that smile off your face before I wipe it off for you." Heyman makes his final pick...and Heyman is not happy because he gets Spike Dudley. You'd think Heyman would like getting another former ECW alumnus. Heyman asks Bischoff to continue. Everyone is eligible for the draft...and Paul Heyman is newest member of Raw. Oh no......... The SmackDown locker room celebrates, and so help me God if they replace him with who I think they're replacing him with, there's going to be a bitchfest on Thursday night. Bischoff tells Heyman his car needs washed. Heyman ran ECW with Bischoff and Vince on his back and made it successful, and he could do it for Raw, but "I'd never sell my soul to a piece of slime like you." Heyman immediately quits. Bischoff goes to the ring and says he's withstood two GMs and Steve Austin, so "Eric Bischoff is back in a damn big way." And out comes Edge to a good pop. Bischoff welcomes him with open arms...so Edge spears him for the hell of it. COMMERCIAL BREAK Please. Give me Shane McMahon. Linda McMahon. Mick Foley. Hell, let me do it! Anybody for general manager of SmackDown but Stephanie McMahon. ANYBODY! If only for the sake of what little continuity you guys have left. I like the fact that Heyman was eligible for the draft because it put over the fact that everybody was up for grabs. And I like that it wasn't just the big names that got moved around. And because I've enjoyed this show, I'm going to do something I don't do very much and try to keep a positive outlook on things. Eddy Guerrero's coming on my TV, and that's a good thing! Segment 10 Moments ago, Edge speared Eric Bischoff. During the break, Paul Heyman stormed off, so how can anybody be traded? One fall for the WWE Championship: Hungry Hungry Hippos (w/Raw T-shirt...nope, never mind, he took it off) vs. Eddy Guerrero (champion) Cole and Tazz call the action since it's their title. Eddy asks for a handshake but pulls it away. He lies! Hunter with a side headlock, and into the corner they go. Hunter shoves Eddy into the corner. Side headlock, throw-off, shoulderblock by the challenger. Eddy with a hiptoss and an armdrag takedown. Into an armbar, and Triple H goes to the ropes. Eddy with a drop toehold, and then he turns his focus into the arm. Armbar, and Hunter again goes to the ropes. And he rolls outside for a Tastykake break. Eddy follows and slams Hunter's arm into the steps and the ringpost. Back in, and Eddy with an arm wringer. Hunter breaks the hold. COMMERCIAL BREAK Great psychology by Eddy Guerrero, as he focuses on the left arm...the arm that was locked in the Crippler Crossface at WrestleMania XX. Credit Cole and Tazz for actually acknowledging it and making sure everybody's aware of why Eddy's focusing on the arm. Segment 11 Triple H tosses Eddy out of the ring and follows him to the floor, ramming Eddy's right elbow into the ringpost. Wasn't that the elbow Eddy injured in his first WWF match four years ago? Hunter rams Eddy's back into the apron, then into the announce table. Back into the ring, and a hard corner whip. And another one, and the challenger covers for 2. Both men trade punches, and Hunter takes Eddy down with a backdrop for 2. Backbreaker. Into an abdominal stretch, and he grabs the ropes for leverage. Hunter can cheat as well as Eddy. SmackDown referee Brian Hebner sees it and calls for the break as the crowd starts chanting for Eddy. Eddy counters a side slam with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Standing dropkick. Eddy walks into a forearm, but they begin trading punches. This time Eddy takes the edge and gets in an elbowsmash. Clothesline. Whip, reversal, sleeper by Hunter, countered with a back suplex by Eddy for 2. Corner whip, reversal, elbow by Eddy, and a springboard DDT for 2. Eddy telegraphs a backdrop and eats a facebuster for 2. Hunter to the middle rope, but he jumps into an inverted atomic drop. Off the ropes, but Hunter with a kick...and thank God that Eddy counters the Pedigree with a slingshot into the turnbuckle. Rolling vertical suplexes. Out come Flair and Batista for the distraction, and why the hell are JR and King calling the match now? Flair distracts the referee, and out come Cena and Rey Misterio Jr. to even the odds. Hunter grabs the title belt, and in comes Michaels with Sweet Chin Music to the challenger. Plancha by HBK onto the guys on the floor. Eddy up top, but Christian comes out and drops Eddy onto the turnbuckle for the DQ at 13:54. *** RVD runs out for the save, and now both locker rooms clear, and we have a pier six brawl. Eddy with corner punches to Hunter and a clothesline. Out comes Kane with The Big Show following. We're going back-and-forth between commentary teams, and out comes Steve Austin with even more Raw members. This is like the world's largest battle royal. END OF SHOW I hate to see a match like that end in a schmozz, but a confrontation between both rosters was more or less promised all week, so no problem there. Hell, the only major problem with this postmatch brawl is how the hell do you follow it up? Theoretically, these men are no longer going to be able to intermingle between shows until SummerSlam, so any animosity they were building up has gone by the wayside. But overall, I loved the hell out of this show. Everybody was feeling it tonight, both in and out of the ring. The matches were pretty good given the time allowed, the banter between Bischoff and Heyman was classic, and even the King and JR were entertaining without detracting as much from the action as they normally do. Even the crowd seemed to realize they were witnessing something special, which made the show that much more enjoyable. Now the real test comes. What do both shows do with their new rosters? And who replaces Heyman on SmackDown? If the answer's what I think it is...well, make sure you don't have any young children reading this week's SmackDown recap over your shoulder. But you can give me feedback until then and let me know what you think about this show or the new rosters. © Copyright by TheSmartMarks.com |