Wrestling
Rot In Hell, Rattlesnake
By Dr. Tom
Jun 12, 2002, 23:36

ROT IN HELL, RATTLESNAKE

As I'm sure everyone has heard by now, Stone Cold Steve Austin walked out on Raw Monday night, leaving before the show due to unhappiness with the script. Austin was slated to work a match with Brock Lesnar in the main event, and to put Lesnar over. Instead, Austin took his ball and went home, leaving the beleaguered creative team with rewriting the episode at the last minute.

Stay gone, Steve.

Take your attitude problems, your "creative differences," and your power plays, and stick them straight up your ass. And if there's still room in there for the ball you ran home with, jam that up in there, too.

No one has been more important to the wrestling business the last seven years than Steve Austin. But this isn't 1997 anymore, and Austin isn't carrying the company on his back. His power plays back then (and he did make them) were excused by his importance to the company, which was always a spurious defense. Add in the fact that Austin was the darling of the net fans, and he was able to get away with behavior that others were vilified for.

No more. Austin's star has lost a lot of its luster, and the same net fans who were willing to absolve him of anything five years ago have turned on him now. It's something he brought on himself by being a big crybaby and doing the same things he was accusing WCW top-carders of doing before the came to the WWF. Don't trust anyone, indeed, since anyone can be a shameless hypocrite who tries to hang onto his spot.

Austin doesn't see it, of course, but he doesn't really deserve a top spot anymore. This isn't the first time this year he's walked out on the company, and he's lucky he still had a job to abandon Monday night. Vince took him back because he felt they needed Austin's star power to sell the brand extension properly; after all, who would watch Raw without their favorite Rattlesnake on it? McMahon and Austin are both guilty of overestimating Austin's drawing power, though. He doesn't pop the crowd like he used to, his presence hasn't made a difference in the ratings, and his work has been uninspired.

Good riddance, I say. I don't want to see an uninspired Austin half-assing his ring work. I don't want to see a disinterested Austin going thru the motions of his promos, while blatantly changing the way he talks to get as many "What!?" shouts as possible. The fact is, the Austin character has been stale for some time, and I really won't miss him. There are only so many times you can drink beer, beat people up, and undermine the evil owner before people just get sick of it. Austin and McMahon didn't understand that.

Austin vs McMahon worked the first time because it hadn't been done before. Austin was the oppressed everyman rebelling against his wicked boss, and in him, we saw the things we wished we could do and say to our own bosses. A meager raise for me this year? Stone Cold Stunner time, you mealy-mouthed sumbitch. The angle was done to perfection, and the fans of the WWF had their hero in Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Austin had the pefect foil in "Mr McMahon."

The problem is, that isn't going to work anymore. Even swapping McMahon out for Ric Flair didn't do anything to spice up a tired angle, because the fans saw it for what it was. It worked the first time, but now, five years later, everyone knows Austin is a star. How does he represent the common man anymore? The fans just don't have the same connection to Austin they once did, and I think he knew that, even if he didn't want to acknowledge it.

I think it has a lot to do with his unhappiness. Austin still wants to be the big star, still wants to make the crowds go crazy, still wants to think it's 1997 all over again. The problem is, he can't be the big star if he's going to be a fucking crybaby, the crowds don't pop for him like they used to, and 1997 was ages ago in an industry that takes pride in ignoring its history. The creative team had to have a reduced role planned for him, but I have to wonder if Austin was told. Certainly, for all he's done for the company, someone could have sat down with him and explained that they would be reducing his role and expecting him to help create the next generation of superstars.

By no means does that excuse Austin's walk-off, though. I hope he decides to stay gone, and if he realizes his mistake, I hope Vince takes a hard-line stance and doesn't take him back right away. Make him sweat it out for a few months, at least. Let him see how much his star has diminished in Hollywood. And if Vince does decide to take him back eventually, make it known that he's not going to be the star anymore.

Stars don't walk out on their jobs. Stars don't walk out on the fans whose unswerving devotion made them famous in the first place. Stars don't piss all over their legacies in a fit of childish pique. Not only has Austin pissed on his otherwise impressive legacy, he's pissed all over the fans who helped him build it. Things like that shouldn't be forgiven.

So Steve, if you come back at some point, I hope people boo the shit out of you. I hope you can't buy a cheer no matter how many beers you drink, how many owners you beat up, and how many times you say, "What!?" I hope you're just the fading star who puts people over, and I hope you can deal with that.

Go to hell, Steve Austin. What? I said go to hell.

Good riddance for leaving your fans out in the cold. What? I said don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

Dr. Tom

Visit Dr. Tom at www.cynicsrule.com

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