|
From TheSmartMarks.com TNA Raw from JHawk's Beak (7/5/2004) Segment 1 L-I-V-E LIVE from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada! Good Ol' JR is at ringside as Eugene plays GM! And we kick it off with The Man WHOO! And already in the ring are Coach, My Future Wife (hi honey!), The King, Tajiri Yoshihiro, and Tyson Tomko. And out comes hometown boy Y2J+4 to a monster pop. Seven people in the ring...six chairs...a game of musical chairs, perhaps? But then why is there a referee? And here comes Eugene all dressed up...well, sort of. Uncle Eric couldn't be here tonight, so he left Eugene in charge. He's got a sports coat and a hanky and everything! He wants everyone to have fun tonight, even Coach, and he asks who wants to see a title match tonight. Huge pop. One of the people in the ring will earn a title match tonight. The winner of a game of musical chairs gets the job. Holy shit, I was right? I was just trying to be a smartass! Stacy is the one only one playing, so King follows. The music stops, and Stacy and King sit...then everyone else realizes what's going on and makes a mad dash. Tajiri loses round one...and he sprays green mist in Coach's eyes. Round two, and Coach is stumbling around, so he obviously loses. Round three, and King loses, although he sits on Stacy's lap to try to sneak his way into it. OK, if Stacy gets the title shot, this recap's over. We're down to four, and Flair is strutting behind Stacy. God, I've always wished I was Ric Flair, and this time it's no different. The music stops...and Flair shoves Stacy to eliminate her. That actually gets Flair some boos. Round five, and Flair struts...so the music stops much earlier than it had, and the man is out. The crowd is begging for Jericho to get the shot at this point. Down to Jericho and Tomko. The music stops, Jericho pulls the chair away from Tomko and levels him with it...and Jericho takes a seat to earn a title shot. Eugene celebrates and announces Jericho vs. Orton for the Intercontinental Title, and the crowd actually boos a bit since they were expecting Benoit vs. Jericho. COMMERCIAL BREAK Well, it was a silly idea, but I'll give WWE creative for two things. It was fairly funny...and it was certainly original. And it sets up a pretty interesting Intercontinental Championship, and you get the vibe that Jericho's going to take the gold being in his hometown and all. Segment 2 Non-Title Tag Team Match scheduled for one fall: La Resistance (Raw World Tag Team Champions) vs. The Man Beast Rhyno and Val Venis Last week, Sgt. Slaughter and Rhyno were the victims of La Resistance's "Au Revoir" finisher. As always, Sylvain Grenier butchers "Oh Canada". The challengers charge the ring, and we have a four way brawl out of the box. Eventually Rhyno and Grenier become the legal men. Rhyno soon takes advantage with a series of punches. Thumb to the eye by Grenier, and the tag to Robert Conway. Slap by Conway, and Rhyno fights back. Hangman from the apron by Grenier, followed by a Conway clothesline for 2. Tag to Grenier. Reverse chinlock. JR goes into "shades of Tony Parisi and Louis Cerdan" for this week's "Who the hell is he talking about" moment. I like the references, actually. Venis tags in, and he goes to town, using a half nelson slam on Conway for 2. Blue Thunder driver, and Grenier makes the save. Rhyno sets up a Gore, which gets stopped, and that keeps Venis isolated for the Au Revoir in 4:33. * Randy Orton trusts Triple H's judgment, but he tells Flair and Batista that it's not right that he can defend the title tonight because Triple H wanted Eugene in charge. Flair's pissed that he's playing games, and Batista tells them to remember the plan...but Eugene is in his "office", which is one of those bouncy carnival rides. Eugene remembers when Kane said he was his friend when he wasn't. So it's Batista vs. Kane tonight. Remember La Resistance beating Rhyno and Venis? Of course, it was just two minutes ago. So at Vengeance, it's La Resistance against Ric Flair and (after being distracted by his action figures) Eugene. COMMERCIAL BREAK It's actually a pretty simple storyline. Rhyno is searching for a tag team partner, but he's fallen short twice. So the obvious question becomes "Why isn't Rhyno being given a partner for Vengeance against the champions?" Well, that's because Eugene is an honorary member of Evolution, so he's teaming with one of Evolution's best. Or something. I don't really get it either. But hey, Batista vs. Kane might not suck if it goes less than three minutes, so whatever, right? Segment 3 A live Diva Search casting special? I'm longing for the return of Tough Enough. In-ring interview time with Hungry Hungry Hippos. Hunter's definition of "miracle" is Chris Benoit: World Heavyweight Champion. If winning the title wasn't a miracle to begin with, he's had divine intervention keeping it. Lord, thy name is McMahon. So the question will be answered at Vengeance: God or Evolution? Darwin was right: You can't stop Evolution, and Hunter claims he'll regain his title Sunday, and not even God can stop him. Cue Edge's music, and cue an appearance by Edge. Edge watched Evolution dominate Raw for a year, and not much has changed since he's come back, but now it's time for a change. So tell Randy Orton "that win or lose tonight, he's mine." And tell the rest of Evolution that they're all going down. "You won't know when, you won't know where, but one by one, you're all going to fall." Edge is going to take a stand. Hunter smirks and takes off the jacket, then says he's heard that a million times from a million different people, and he's still here. Yeah, like a cockroach. What makes Edge different? That he'll throw the first punch, that's what. We've got a brawl until Evolution runs in and Edge takes off, getting a shot in on Orton on the way out. Kane vs. Batista is next. COMMERCIAL BREAK So wait a second. Somebody got the first shot in on Evolution? Has that ever happened before? It looks like we're beginning to build for the long-rumored Edge-Triple H showdown, and possibly we'll finally get Evolution into a Four Horsemen-type feud with four guys who just want to get rid of them for good. Actually some pretty good stuff here. Segment 4 One fall: Kane vs. Batista Matt Hardy vs. Kane in a no disqualification match has been signed for Vengeance. Lockup, stalemate. Kane with a punch. Corner whip, reversal, clothesline by Batista. Kane with a side slam, and he sets up a choke slam, but Batista fights out of it. Sidewalk slam by Batista. Kane sits up and knocks Batista out of the ring with a big boot. Out comes Matt Hardy v.1.0 to attack Kane, and that causes the DQ at 1:59. 1/2* Hardy repeatedly slams Kane's head against the steel steps until officials finally try to send him to the back. COMMERCIAL BREAK This was done only to set up Hardy vs. Kane for Sunday night, and as a result, a match we're not likely to see again anytime soon doesn't get a chance to get going. Not that too many people really wanted to see it, but I was kind of curious as to how that would play out. Segment 5 Moments ago, Matt Hardy did his postal worker impression on Kane. So Todd Grisham asks him what his chances are. Hardy says what he did tonight is nothing compared to what will happen on Sunday. But what role will Lita play? Hardy refuses to answer that, so Grisham presses the issue anyway. Hit him, Matt, smack him! Diva search Hollywood edition footage, complete with WrestleMania 2000 theme song. Is there anybody outside of maybe a couple of people I work with that actually cares about this? The Intercontinental Title is on the line next! COMMERCIAL BREAK I don't watch wrestling for Jerry Springer storylines, so I would really rather not comment on the pregnancy aspect of the Kane-Hardy-Lita triangle, but I like the more aggressive attitude of Matt Hardy. Even in the height of the Mattitude era, he didn't really seem to have the killer instinct. He's got that now, and while I don't like the storyline reasoning for it, I like the overall feel of it. Segment 6 One fall for the Intercontinental Championship: Randy Orton (champion) vs. Y2J+4 Earlier today, Jericho won the Order of the Buffalo Hunt award. Seriously. Lockup, stalemate. Lockup, armdrag by Jericho. Waistlock. Orton reverses. Jericho counters into a wristlock. Reversal. Top wristlock by Orton. Jericho bridges up and takes Orton down with an armdrag. Kicks and chops by Jericho, and an elbowsmash knocks the champion down. Suplex and a cocky cover for 1. Orton begins to fight back and takes Jericho down with a dropkick that counters a Jericho springboard move for 2. Punch to the chest, then into a neck vice. Jericho with elbows, but Orton regains control. Over the top, but Jericho lands on the apron and comes off the top with a flying elbowsmash for 2. Chops by Jericho, and a spinning heel kick. Late cover for 2. Orton to the eyes, but Jericho rolls Orton up for 2. Running enzuigiri, and the ropes save Orton at 2. Orton out to the floor, and Jericho reaches for him, but Orton drapes Jericho's throat on the top rope. Back in with a charge, but Jericho backdrops Orton over the top rope, and out comes Batista to check on Orton. COMMERCIAL BREAK A nice slow build early, with the pace picking up nicely as we approached the commercial break. Can they keep the flow going in the second half? Segment 7 Jericho with mounted punches in the corner. Whip, reversal, and Batista pulls the top rope down to send Jericho out to the floor. Batista rams Jericho's arm into the steel ringpost on the outside, and that gives Orton a target to work on. Back in the ring, and Jericho tries to fight back with one arm, but Orton regains control by attacking the injured left arm. Snap mare into a keylock. Into an armbar, and Jericho tries to fight back, but Orton takes him back down with a hair pull. A series of kneedrops to the shoulder. European uppercuts stop yet another Jericho comeback attempt. Snap mare into an armbar. A double clothesline knocks both men down, and Chad Patton gets to 7 on the double count. They trade blows in midring, and Orton gets in a series of forearms, but Jericho comes back with one of his own. Drop toehold into the middle rope, and there's the squisher (tm Kevin Nash). Going for the Walls of Jericho, but Orton uses the hair and eyes to stop it. Inverted side backbreaker for 2. Jericho avoids a suplex and takes Orton down for 2, favoring the arm the whole time. Corner whip, but Orton moves, and Jericho's left shoulder hits the turnbuckle. Orton up top, but Jericho follows and tries a superplex. Orton throws Jericho off the buckle and onto his shoulder, and frog flying bodypress gets 2. Orton argues about the count. Bulldog by Jericho, and Batista prevents the Lionsault and eats a springboard dropkick for his trouble. Jericho counters the RKO into the Walls of Jericho. Batista on the apron to force Jericho to release the hold, and that allows Orton to get a roll up with the ropes for leverage for the cheap pin at 18:36. The crowd hated that finish, but that only slightly takes away from a pretty good little free TV match there. *** Eugene is jumping with Triple H and says they have a deal, so Triple H tells him to get ready. He takes a tumble out of Eugene's office, and the possibility of Flair getting out of the match never came up. But the plan for Eugene to help Triple H win the title starts tonight, as Flair and Eugene (with objections from Flair) team with Triple H to meet Edge and Chris Benoit in a handicap match. And when it's all over, everybody will see the plan. COMMERCIAL BREAK My only real gripe with this match: All that time Jericho spent selling the left arm, and yet he still had enough strength in it to keep a hold of the Walls of Jericho for an extended period of time. Yes, it's a minor detail, but one that doesn't always go unnoticed. Still, that was one of Orton's best in-ring performances without Mick Foley involved as he continues to make a run for Most Improved Wrestler of 2004. Segment 8 SmackDown Rebound time. Number One Contenders Match: Victoria vs. Nidia vs. Good Golly Miss Molly Holly To win, you need to get the envelope off the pole to get the contract. Trish the Bitch has joined the broadcast team for it. Molly and Nidia run for it, but Victoria stops them. Hair Beell by Molly to Nidia. Spinning neckbreaker, and back in comes Nidia to level Molly with forearms. Molly sends Nidia to the floor via the ringpost, then a dropkick to Victoria as she skins the cat. And instead of going to the contract, Molly does a plancha. End this match now! Molly superplexes Victoria. Nidia climbs and grabs the contract even though Molly's on her ass, and I'm scratching my head as to the point. DUD Postmatch, Trish congratulates Nidia and levels her with the cast on her broken arm. It's on! One fall for the WWE Women's Championship: Nidia vs. Trish the Bitch (champion--w/Tyson Tomko) Trish covers a knocked out Nidia and gets the pin at four seconds. DUD COMMERCIAL BREAK So the entire point was to establish Trish as the bitchy heel, I suppose, although the crowd was dead for the whole thing, and if I wasn't typing a recap I probably would have fallen asleep. No drama at all to the top xcontenders match, and while Trish's attack was a nice way to build up her character, we're not exactly looking for Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls classics out of a potential divas feud in 2004. Segment 9 Still daylight outside the Winnipeg Arena, and we've got a handicap match tonight, but first, let's kill time for more divas search crap. Talent and brains need not apply. But if you're twins, you're in. Your hosts hype the divas search (argh!), then finally hype Vengeance. Edge vs. Randy Orton for the Intercontinental Championship! Batista vs. Chris Jericho! Ric Flair and Eugene vs. La Resistance for the World Tag Team Championship! No DQ: Kane vs. Matt Hardy! And Chris Benoit defends the Big Gold Belt against Triple H! It's gotta be better than the Great American Bash, so watch, dammit! Trish and Tomko meet Lita backstage, and Trish heard Lita is all pregnant and stuff. Trish: "And to think. They call me a slut!" Triple H kisses Eugene's ass about his GM job, but then he tries to tell Eugene that since Edge wants to take out Evolution, that includes Eugene. Oh, and remember Benoit hitting him with chair? That made him angry. So Edge and Benoit represent everybody that ever made fun of him...like William Regal and Kane. So beat people up...as best friends. COMMERCIAL BREAK Trish said what everybody else was thinking, and that's the lone bright spot of this segment. Segment 10 3 on 2 Handicap Match scheduled for one fall: Hungry Hungry Hippos, The Man WHOO!, and Eugene vs. Edge and World Heavyweight Champion Chris BenOIT Benoit gets a standing ovation coming into the ring. I know it's Canada, but even JR mentions it. Benoit and Eugene start. Benoit wants a handshake, but we go into some sweet chain wrestling instead. Hunter tells Eugene to get angry. Lockup into the corner, and no clean break from Eugene. Benoit with chops, but he backs off. Benoit avoids another shot on the break but charges Evolution, and Eugene attacks from behind. Tag to Triple H, and Benoit is back up. Cheap shots by Hunter, but Benoit comes back with chops. Facebuster by Triple H. Benoit counters a Pedigree with a backdrop. Shot to Flair, but not to Eugene, and the Crippler Crossface to the number one contender. Eugene makes the save, and Flair pulls Benoit to the floor and rams him into the steps. COMMERCIAL BREAK The match itself is nothing special so far, but I do like the story. Benoit still likes and respects Eugene and won't quite go ballistic on him, but Eugene's blind loyalty to Triple H keeps him going after Benoit. Now if they have Eugene start hesitating just a little bit as the match goes on, they're golden there. Segment 11 Hunter with an uppercut. Benoit tries to fight out of the corner. Hunter with the sleeperhold. Benoit with an elbow out of it, then into the back suplex. Tag to Edge, tag to Flair, and Edge works over Flair and Hunter. Backdrop to Flair, then one to Hunter. Up top...double flying clothesline. Spear to Flair and a series of punches to Hunter. Edge accidentally knocks Eugene off the apron, then he DDTs Hunter. Setting up the spear, and Eugene attacks from behind. Hunter of all people pulls Eugene off of Edge. Flair covers for 2. Tag to Triple H, who rams Edge's shoulder into the ringpost. Armbar. Hunter tells Eugene to break Edge's arm and tags him in, but Eugene hesitates...as the crowd starts a "Eugene sucks" chant. Ugh. Edge tags Benoit, but Mike Chioda didn't see it, but he apparently saw a tag to Flair. Flair chops away at Edge as Eugene seems disappointed with what's going on. Edge knocks Flair down, then it's tags to Triple H and Benoit, who goes to town on the two full-fledged heels. Rolling Germans to Triple H. Diving headbutt. Cover, but Flair makes the save. Edge comes in and gets Flair out of the ring. Edge takes a tumble over the rail to the concrete, and Eugene shows concern for Edge. Benoit gets sent into the referee (and Eugene), and Hunter brings in a chair. Benoit fights back, and Eugene grabs the chair. He teases a shot to Benoit, but walks away. A Pedigree is countered into a Sharpshooter, and Hunter is tapping out, but there's no referee. Eugene reenters the ring and gloms Benoit with the chair (after Hunter's begging), and the Pedigree finishes it off at 15:45. A bit too long for the point they were trying to get across, but decent enough. **1/4 Triple H and Flair congratulate Eugene, who appears near tears about what he has done. END OF SHOW Well, I got what I asked for. Eugene shows concern for the faces and hesitates to get the big shot in, but his blind loyalty to his favorite wrestler causes him to do what he didn't really want to do. Unfortunately, that story actually took away from the match itself, and damn near turned the crowd so far away from Eugene that without the hesitation on the chair shot, Eugene could have been buried for good. Overall, a good Intercontinental Title match, a couple of decent interview segments, but essentially a filler show designed to drum up interest toward the pay-per-view. But after the Great American Bash, it's not that hard to be far more interested in this one anyway. Yeah, it's on the short side, but I'm tired, dammit! Feedback at the usual address. © Copyright by TheSmartMarks.com |