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From TheSmartMarks.com TNA PK and JHawk are taking a vacation this week (thanks guys), so I'm covering SmackDown this week. I've not been watching all that much lately, and the Bash was the first PPV I deliberately passed up on in years, so forgive me if I'm not just slightly not excited about the show. Match 1: Rob Van Dam vs. Mark Jindrak Jindrak immediately throws Van Dam out of the ring, and uses the surrounding area to his advantage, dropping him on the barrier, and throwing him into the steps. The back work continues into the ring, with every single move that Jindrak does targeting it. Sadly, Van Dam's selling is awful, and as soon as he is on offence, he just doesn't bother selling any more. His moves would cause serious pain to his own back, yet there's no reaction from him. Even the rolling thunder, and a monkey flip, where he falls to the ground from a fairly decent height are ignored. Jindrak finds himself back on attack, and continues to capitalise on the back, which he gets credit for, but RVD hits a split legged moonsault from nowhere to pick up the win. A poor match that shows both Jindrak's strengths, and RVD's weaknesses, and is booked to show them both incredibly obviously. That wasn't a bad opening. Jindrak is showing some promise in the ring, and when he's facing someone a little more competent than RVD, there could be good things going on. The match was nothing special though, and the booking was all over the place. Why have RVD squashed for the whole match, but win with apparent ease? WINNER: Rob Van Dam Video package shows Bradshaw's WWE title celebration, and subsequent match with Spike Dudley. Josh "charisma" Matthews interviews Bradshaw about his MATCH~! with EDDIE GUERRERO~! NEXT WEEK~! inside a STEEL CAGE~! He puts himself over, and really gets into the sleazy heel role perfectly. He puts Guerrero down, and calls the steel cage "barbaric". He's going to become the most popular WWE champion ever, and calls over the Mexican champion "El Gran LuchadShannon Moore", who he had previously kicked the hell out of. Tonight, it'll be champion against champion. Oh joy. Bradshaw's really found his place with the gimmick, after a month or two of smoothing it around the edges. The interview covered the right things, and set up the cage match with Eddie as well as the assumed squash with El Gran Luchadore. Match 2: The Dudley Boys vs. Billy Kidman and Paul London, WWE Tag Team Titles Kidman and London have earned the title shot because of a match on Velocity last week, between the two teams. Kidman hit the shooting star press onto D'Von, but the referee was pulled out of the ring by Bubba, causing a disqualification. Since when was THAT a DQ offence? This is your standard power vs. speed match, with shockingly speed coming out on top. The Dudleyz are worthless at the moment, sticking to extremely bland and generic moves, and not seeming like they are working at full speed. Their heel moveset seems to encompass even more genericicity (it's a real word, dammit), pulling the ropes down and using the ringsteps. At least they haven't sunk to the depths of switching places without tagging yet. There's a small amount of work on the leg of Paul London, which he sells like a champ � even after the match finishes. The leg attacks don't last very long, and there's no focus on it after that small period, which is a shame. Amazingly, the victory is sold by Cole and Tazz as an upset, rather than the fluke that one would assume. The finish to the match leaves no doubt that London and Kidman are the better team, with absolutely no shenanigans or room for doubt. Kidman hits his finisher once, and it's sold as a finisher, getting the convincing victory WINNERS: Paul London and Billy Kidman Backstage, the new champions celebrate with Scotty, Mysterio, Wilson and a bunch of other lower-to-mid carders. This is fantastic, really putting them over as something special. Even the Dudleys offer a handshake, which is reluctantly taken. A great show of respect, which really legitimises the new champions. Josh "Charisma" Matthews interviews Kenzo Suzuki, who talks through his... wife, whatever the fuck that thing is who follows him around. We go through a painful segment where he speaks in Japanese, and it is then translated. Cut to the chase already. All he says is that John Cena dishonoured him, and now he's seeking revenge, and then kisses America's ass to huge boos from the crowd. Up next: John Cena vs. Booker T, for the US title Match 3: John Cena vs. Booker T, US Title If you want to know what Cena rapped, watch the show. Sorry, I just can't stand them any more, so I skipped over it. Oh wait... Suzuki is out, and they brawl a little before Cena throws him out of the ring. Reigns is in now, and lays out John Cena with one "crazy spinning neckbreaker", to quote Tazz. And that's the end of that. But the match will take place later tonight. This dragged on, and was too long for what it achieved Match 3: Mexican Champion El Gran Luchadore vs. WWE Champion John Bradshaw Layfield JBL comes out with more obnoxious hand-shaking, as he is totally oblivious to the boos. I really dig that. El Gran Luchadore comes out to the most generic Mexican music ever. The next line was the only note I wrote for the opening portion, and it cannot be stated enough how boring a squash match is: Clubbing blows sold like death. Dull squash, excessive violence just to put over how evil JBL is. El Gran Switcharoo, as a second El Gran Luchadore throws Bradshaw out of the ring and leaves a banana peel, in some sort of hilarious slipping joke. #2 fights back with attitude, as it must be Guerrero. It can't be put over enough how cool Eddie is. El Gran Luchadore follows up with Guerrero's trademark rolling vertical suplexes, as the match just breaks down, and JBL runs away. This is about the only time I've been pleased to have a sports-entertainment finish to a match. Line of the night goes to Michael Cole: "How can it be Eddie, Eddie doesn't wear a mask?" Eddie grabs the mic, and warns Bradshaw that he won't be able to run away next week. Guerrero still pretends to be EGL, and promises that Eddie will kick ass next week � inside a STEEL CAGE~! WINNER: No contest UK exclusive segment, as Josh "I'm really excited to be here" Matthews introduces the SmackDown and Raw tours for later in the year. Booker T is with Josh "again?" Matthews, who mentions the title change earlier tonight. He's sure another title will change hands tonight. It's a shame that Cena got his ass kicked, because he'll use it as an excuse when he loses. I'm liking the shorter, to the point interviews. Back to Raw, and it's musical chairs for the title shot. That was damn funny. Highlights of Orton and Jericho, which was a good match marred by a shitty ending. Oh and more Eugene crap. Bubba wants to talk to Spike, who's backstage with Mysterio and Scotty. They are still putting over the title change, which is amazing. Bubba and D'von warn Spike that they will have his back tonight, and he shouldn't turn his back on the family. He didn't want their help last week when they were tag champions, so why would he want it now? A nice segment, which quickly ties everything together. Match 4: Chavo Guerrero, Jamie Noble and Akio vs. Spike Dudley, Rey Mysterio and Scotty 2 Hotty The match opens with a beatdown on Mysterio, with a series of quick tags and keeping him isolated. This soon breaks down, as Mysterio fights back and all we get is a sequence of spots. There's no rhythm or reason for the moves, and things are all over the place. Noble hits a tigerdriver on Spike for the finish. Not a shining moment for the cruiserweight division, I'm afraid. WINNERS: Guerrero, Noble and Akio Paul Heyman is with Josh "have they fired all the other announcers" Matthews. He doesn't care about the Dudleys title loss, he's worried about the Undertaker. He needs to talk to him, in the ring. Now. Short recap video covers the rubbish between Taker and Heyman last week, as Heyman hits the ring, holding an urn. He pulls out a prepared statement, and starts to drag on VERY quickly. He blames the Dudleys for kidnapping Bearer, putting him in the crypt and making Taker bow to Heyman. Out of goodwill, the urn is to be returned, if Taker will let Heyman's behaviour slide. This is so boring and laboured. Heyman won't cross Taker's path any more, as we abruptly cut to a preview for the main event. And it's next. Match 5: John Cena vs. Booker T, US Title Angle comes out with Reigns, and Booker uses the distraction to pound on Cena. Thank God that was the start and not the finish. Brawling to start, as they go back and forth. Booker gets the advantage though, presumably due to the earlier attacks on Cena, but Cole would rather talk about Kurt Angle than the match. Booker T grabs the ropes as he's raised for the FU, which is finally a better counter than just sliding over the back. As Cena is dumped to the outside, Angle harnesses the power of Jesus and manages to walk! He pounds on Cena with his walking stick, and we're off to a commercial. Booker gets a side headlock, which is used as a way to fill a bit of time, rather than as an effective attempt at a submission. This seems to happen with every move that Booker is attempting tonight � he hits a suplex because he can. He hits things solely because he can, with no thought as to why. Cena doesn't seem to show any effect of being attacked by three people, and being in a wrestling match. Ending has Luther Reigns attack John Cena after an FU, drawing a DQ. Why would he do this, when the intention was for Cena to lose the title? There's plenty of other ways he could have stopped Cena from pinning... Oh wait, because Cena hit Angle, he's being stripped of the title. There was no need to wait for a phoney justification, Angle has absolute power on SmackDown!. A boring, and overly long match to end the show. And that's all for tonight. WINNER: John Cena, via DQ Final Thoughts The tag titles changing hands were a nice move, and continually referencing the new champions was the best thing that WWE could have done. There was a lack of focus on backstage events, and more emphasis on the ring, which is exactly what the show needs. I could have done without the goofy Heyman and Undertaker shit, as it is going nowhere; what's the payoff, Heyman getting Tombstoned? Great. It's obvious who isn't motivated at the moment (RVD, and the Dudleys in particular), as there's just no effort there. Not a bad show, as Bradshaw improves in leaps and bounds, but still lightyears behind Raw. I'll be back sometime this week with a review of Raw's Vengeance Pay Per View. Please feel free to send any feedback to my new address: [email protected] © Copyright by TheSmartMarks.com |