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TNA
Raw from JHawk's Beak (1/3/2005)
By Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
Jan 3, 2005, 22:31

Raw from JHawk's Beak (1/3/2005)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins

It's a New Year, and that means a fresh start. The first match tonight will get to be "the Match of the Year so far" until at least the second match of tonight's card. This show will be "the best Raw of the year so far" until at least next week. You almost hope they put on an absolutely horrible show just so they'll definitely be able to improve on it.

Tonight: We're in the home stretch for New Year's Revolution. Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross will take part in a debate with Muhammed Hassan and Khosrow Daivari. Plus, we'll explore the tension within Evolution, count down Gene Snitsky's last days as a surviving human being, and hopefully we'll have some halfway decent wrestling tonight. And if I were a betting man, I'd bet on the fact that they'll book Randy Orton, Chris Benoit, and Chris Jericho against Edge, Triple H, and Batista for the main event.



Segment 1

Last week, Batista beat the clock and caused further tension between himself and Triple H. How does Triple H's win get more hype than the point of the storyline?

There's a closeup of the World Heavyweight Championship, and with it is Eric Bischoff, and before we crown a new World Champion, we have some business to discuss. This week, all six participants in the Elimination Chamber have a chance to beat each other. Batista meets Chris Benoit. Edge takes on Chris Jericho. And, LIVE from the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Uniondale, Long Island, New York, Triple H faces Randy Orton. This is why I'm not a betting man.

One fall: Batista vs. Chris Benoit

Lockup, and Batista tosses Benoit to the mat. A series of knees to the midsection. Dragon screw by Benoit, but Batista avoids the sharpshooter. A series of chops by Benoit, but Batista comes back with a backbreaker. Off goes the turnbuckle pad, and down goes Batista thanks to the rolling German suplexes. Benoit signals for it already, but Batista rolls out to the floor. Benoit follows, but Batista takes control. Back in the ring. Corner whip, but Batista runs into Benoit's boot. Up top, but Batista crotches Benoit onto the top turnbuckle. And he takes him down with a delayed fisherman buster that earns a two count. Half Boston crab. Batista "helps" Benoit tap out, but that's not an official tap. Benoit out of the hold and chopping back, but he runs into a spinebuster for a couple of 2 counts. Benoit with forearms and chops, and he takes Batista down with an enzuigiri. Baseball slide for 2. Batista with a knee, but Benoit avoids a running powerslam and hits the release German. Swan Dive Headbutt by Benoit for 2. Batista tries another spinebuster, and Benoit maneuvers it into the Crippler Crossface. Batista actually picks Benoit up onto his shoulders and runs Benoit's head into the previously exposed turnbuckle. Wow! Sitout Batista Bomb, and the crowd actually pops for the three count at 7:07.

Still to come, the Arab-American debate.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

Actually a pretty solid opening match, as we saw these two guys bust out some things that aren't normally in their arsenals. A fisherman buster from Batista? An enzuigiri from Benoit? Not to mention the sweet counter out of the crossface that brought in the use of the exposed turnbuckle. Some pretty neat stuff here, and I have to say the angle with Triple H had these fans clamoring for Batista. Hell, the Long Island fans are notorious for being dead, and they were counting along with the referee for the pin. Screw Orton. Triple H vs. Batista has to be part of WrestleMania, even if there's no title at stake.


Segment 2

The Man WHOO! celebrates Batista's win by informing Triple H how well Batista did tonight. In comes Batista, and Flair essentially says that as long as the other four guys are taken care of, the plan to get the belt on Triple H will be a success. Oh yeah, Hunter, you got that hundred bucks you owe Batista? That's right, Batista wants to collect on their wager from last week. Hunter tells Ric to pay the man, but Batista says it wasn't Flair who made the bet. All's not well in Evolutionville, and Hunter grabs the money. Batista: "Would you get a sense of humor? I'm just kidding."

Maria will interview Gene Snitsky, but first, let's relive Taboo Tuesday and the incident that cost Kane three months of his career.

And now it's time for the interview with Gene Snitsky, and he's surprised that Kane's even coming back. He likes surprises, but Maria doesn't like the surprise of being sniffed by Snitsky. But Snitsky has a surprise for Kane, and Kane brought it upon himself, so "it's not my fault".

Edge asks Eric Bischoff "why are you doing this to me?", and he's not referring to his match with Jericho tonight. He's referring to Shawn Michaels as special referee. It's not fair. But you want fair? Edge's attack on HBK at Taboo Tuesday cost him six weeks, and as a result, he cost Bischoff six weeks of revenue. So take your frustration out on Jericho...NEXT!


COMMERCIAL BREAK

Here's where a non-wrestling segment can mean something, as we not only help build up two of the stories involved in the Elimination Chamber, but we also foreshadow at least one event later in the show, as I think we can expect Gene Snitsky to be coming after Lita for something. Brilliant interaction between Triple H and Batista here, as Batista essentially pays Triple H back for his "joking" around with Batista some six or seven weeks ago.


Segment 3

One fall: Edge vs. Y2J+5

Lockup into a chain wrestling sequence. Jericho busts out the old school bow-and-arrow, but his own shoulders are on the mat for 2. Edge with a turnbuckle smash and a series of forearms. Jericho with chops. Forearm. Forearm by Edge. Punch. Jericho backdrops Edge over the top rope, but he misses with a baseball slide, and they knock each other down with clotheslines.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

Not enough has happened yet to really form an opinion on it.


Segment 4

Edge has a hammerlock applied to Jericho. He adds a half nelson to it. Edge works it into an armbar, but that got an arm free for Jericho to battle back. A single-arm DDT stops the comeback and earns Edge a two count. Back to the armbar. Keylock. Jericho forearms out of it and hits a flying forearm. Shoulderblock. Bulldog. A Lionsault misses, but Jericho gets a huracanrana for 2. Running enzuigiri, but Edge sees the squisher (tm Kevin Nash) coming and gets a big boot for 2. Jericho avoids the Edgecution and gets a Northern Lights suplex for 2. Edge avoids the Walls of Jericho. Sleeping neckbreaker by Jericho for a couple of 2 counts. Kick to the ribs, but Jericho's move to the top rope fails. Edge goes for the superplex, but Jericho counters with a front-layout suplex...and misses the flying bodypress. Jericho leapfrogs a spear, causing Edge to hit the corner. Jericho goes for the Victory roll, but Edge sits down on it and grabs the ropes for leverage to earn the pin at 10:23.

Raw Interactive Question: Who will win tonight's main event, Randy Orton or Triple H?

Coach is backstage with Randy Orton, and it's Orton's first match with Triple H since Unforgiven. In 2004, Hunter took everything away from Orton, and in 2005, Orton plans on returning the favor, beginning tonight with a pin after an RKO.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

Two good matches already tonight, and this one establishes that Edge is willing to do whatever is necessary to gain a win. And that's exactly the mindset someone should have going into any match for the World Title. There was also some pretty solid work on the arm throughout the second half of the match, and Jericho was even selling it to some extent when he was back on offense. This show is in a groove so far.


Segment 5

Good Ol' JR and The King thank the UK fans for watching them live for the first time on Jim Ross' birthday.

One fall: Sylvain Grenier (w/Robert Conway) vs. Shelton Benjamin (WWE Intercontinental Champion)

Before the match can begin, Maven makes his way to the top of the ramp. Conway hits Benjamin with a flagpole as Maven joins the commentary team, and we're underway. Kicks and boot chokes by Grenier as Maven issues a challenge to Benjamin for New Year's Revolution. Chinlock. Back suplex. Corner whip, but Grenier runs into an elbow. Full nelson by Grenier to stop the potential momentum change. Benjamin breaks the hold, and it turns into a slugfest. Stinger Splash by Benjamin. Benjamin is distracted by Conway, and Grenier gets a dropkick for 2. Benjamin leapfrogs Grenier to knock down Conway, and a dragon whip gets three...um, 2 apparently then, because it's the Exploder Powerslam that gets the official pin at 3:10.

Let's take a video look at the Elimination Chamber.

Khosrow Daivari leads Muhammed Hassan backstage, as the debate is next.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

So much for the streak of good matches, which ends at 2. Seriously, there was really no sense to this match at all except to build up the Maven-Benjamin feud, and while it works to an extent since we can hear the commentary, the live crowd is probably confused as to why Maven was even out there, particularly if they forgot about Maven pinning Benjamin in the six man tag team match three weeks ago.


Segment 6

Todd Grisham hosts the debate. Apparently it's just going to be "Daivari" from now on, although "Khosrow" is still on the entrance video. Question 1: "Do you feel that Arab-Americans have been unfairly persecuted in this country since 9/11?" Um...they're Americans, so chanting "USA" does not constitute legit heel heat. Stupid fans. Hassan claims (correctly, I might add) that America is racist by nature, and they've been that way toward Arab-Americans since before 9/11. At least they used to pretend to be polite even if you saw the contempt in their eyes. Now, 9/11 is the excuse to let their true feelings come through. Had they gone to Times Square for New Year's Eve, they'd have been searched (or worse) because of their ethnic background. This intolerance is why we're the most hated nation in the world, and why we deserve it. Lawler's rebuttal: Yes, there are racists in this country, but there are racists in every other country. But a few weeks ago, Hassan called our troops gutless cowards, and that's unacceptable. These people don't hate you because they're racist. They hate you because you're jackasses. All hell is breaking loose, but then Hassan agrees with Lawler. See, most Arab-Americans make him sick. There's an "asshole" chant, which is more appropriate. Hassan is sick of the others because they try to hide their heritage. And JR, you've been quiet. That's a switch. You're the problem since you're the media and all. After all, JR hates Hassan because Hassan's as American as apple pie, Mickey Mantle, and the Oklahoma Sooners. But you're just like America: tough talking behind one's back, but quiet to their faces. JR says America isn't a perfect country, but when you lump people as racists and badmouth the troops, then either love America or leave it. Down goes a podium, and JR ain't backing down. There's the cheap shot, and with JR down, Daivari and Hassan double team Lawler. They dump Lawler out of the ring and choke JR with a belt. I think Daivari is yelling "Squeal like a pig, boy" in Arabic! Off goes Lawler's belt, and he staggers back into the ring like Jake Roberts after an all-night bender. He can't do anything before Hassan and Daivari hit the back.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

OK, this segment got a ton of heat from the Long Island crowd, and I can't say it wasn't entertaining, but what exactly it had to do with wrestling is beyond me. Quite frankly, Hassan and Daivari would be declared the winners of the debate if this were an actual competition. They at least had some sort of basis for their opinions. All Lawler and Ross had was "We love America, so nyah!"


Segment 7

Coach has to cover on commentary after what we just saw.

One fall: Trish the Bitch vs. Victoria

A rematch from last night's Heat, where Trish used the tights for leverage to gain a pin after a Chick Kick. No mention of that, of course. Trish uses forearms and punches before anything else. And kicks. Snap mare and a hair slam. Cover for 2. Mounted punches. Victoria punches back, but one shot stops the comeback. Boot choke. Hair pull and a hangman choke. Clothesline to the back of the head, then shots to the back and another hair pull. *yawn* Oh, sorry. Trish calls for the Stratusfaction, but Victoria takes her down with a back suplex. Victoria ducks a Chick Kick and gets a roll up for 2. Elbowsmashes. A headbutt. Bodyslam. Standing moonsault, but Trish lifts the knees. Chick Kick to the back of the head (and Victoria exposes the business by falling backwards), and that gets the pin at 3:11. Trish grabs the stick...MICROPHONE, MICROPHONE...and tells Lita that her career will be over when she becomes a six time Women's Champion on Sunday. Here comes Lita to the ring, and Lita slaps Trish to further prove she should be the heel in the entire situation. They continue to brawl with Lita gaining the upperhand. Cue Kane's pyro, and Lita's scared shitless, so obviously he ain't coming out. The women begin to brawl again, but here comes Snitsky. Lita backs off from him, then stupidly turns around and gets a Chick Kick to the face. Snitsky grabs a chair, and he wants to relive Taboo Tuesday, but cue Kane's music, and cue Kane for his return to Raw. Snitsky actually runs to meet him in the aisle, but it's Kane getting the better of him. Snitsky eventually escapes through the crowd.

My feed's starting to cut in and out, but I can tell you that we've still got Triple H vs. Randy Orton tonight.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

An absolutely horrible match, which is a shame since the Heat match was actually pretty good. But it led to what was actually a pretty good piece of storytelling, as we were able to incorporate two of the PPV matches into one tidy little segment. For what's essentially a throwaway PPV, they're actually doing a pretty good job of building up to it.


Segment 8

Live in Uniondale and the Nassau Coliseum, and let's relive the last Elimination Chamber Match courtesy of SummerSlam 2003.

And there goes the fucking feed again. I'm not the only one having this problem, am I? I'd still rather have this than the phantom tornado episode of SmackDown.

Christy Hemme is doing a photo shoot, and here comes Eugene. Eugene compares her to Lindsay Lohan, and Christy talks him into singing along to "Rumors". William Regal tells Eugene to get ready for his match with Christian, and Christy offers to "motivate" him. That gives Regal a chance to listen to the CD...and he sings along and dances until he gets busted by Eugene and Christy.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

And to think that all these years where only one guy besides me was on the William Regal bandwagon. Again, that's got nothing to do with wrestling, but by God that was funny.


Segment 9

79% of Raw Interactive users think Randy Orton's going to win tonight.

One fall: Eugene (World Tag Team Champion w/William Regal) vs. Christian (w/Tyson Tomko)

We do mention last night's Heat to focus on Christian helping Tomko beat Regal. Side headlock by Eugene. Shoulderblock. Christian with a kick and a forearm. Eugene then channels The Ultimate Warrior and Gorilla presses, shakes the ropes, and splashes Christian for 2. Ten turnbuckle countalong, but he takes too much time climbing to the top rope (and doing it too close to Tomko), so Christian slams him off the top. Neck vice. Christian taunts Eugene, but Eugene takes Christian down with the Rock Bottom out of nowhere. A delayed cover gets 2. Airplane spin, but Christian goes to the eyes. Unprettier, but Eugene counters into the double chickenwing. Tomko and Regal get involved on the floor as Eugene and Christian exchange near falls inside the ring. Eugene goes for the sunset flip, but Christian sits down and uses Tomko for leverage to get the pin at 3:44.

Flair tells Triple H that he and Batista have his back, but Triple H tells Batista to hang back since the only guy he has to beat tonight is Orton, and he was just a tagalong anyway. Batista promises not to get involved "unless he really starts kicking your ass". Hunter gives him the look of death, but "lighten up, come on". Fucking brilliant.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

What is it with moves we haven't seen in a while tonight? A double chickenwing? I can't even remember the last time I saw one of those. Really not a great match at all, but it does help build to an apparent tag team title match at New Year's Revolution.


Segment 10

JR has joined Coach at the booth, and apparently JR's gonna be in Lawler's corner Sunday. I guess they announced Lawler vs. Hassan officially during one of the lost feed bits.

One fall: Triple H (w/The Man WHOO!) vs. Randy Orton

Triple with a headlock, throw-off, shoulderblock. Orton with a dropkick. Roll up for 2. Shoulderblock. Short lariat for 2. Hunter with a kick to the gut. Another. They trade punches, with Orton winning the exchange. Hunter with a knee, but Orton reverses a corner whip and gets the backdrop. Hunter barely avoids the RKO by heading to the floor for a Tastykake break.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

Good stuff so far, as Orton is showing a lot of intensity, and it's coming off like he really wants to take out Triple H. And Triple H shows his familiarity to Orton by avoiding the RKO. Good start.


Segment 11

Orton with the ten punch countalong, and no more commercial breaks. Triple H takes a hard tumble over the top rope to the arena floor. Orton brings him back into the ring, but Flair distracts Orton, which allows Hunter to drape Orton's throat over the top rope. Orton tries to shoulderblock his way into the ring, but a knee sends Orton off the apron and into the guardrail. Triple H distracts the referee so Flair can stomp away at the ribs. And now Hunter's going to do damage to the ribs himself by dropping Orton chest first onto the guardrail. Back into the ring, and Hunter continues to focus on the ribs with stomps and kicks. Shoulderblocks to the midsection. Delayed cover for 2. Orton tries to punch back, but Triple H catches him with a knee to the ribs and covers for a series of near falls. Triple H throws Orton to the floor, and Flair enters the ring to allow Triple H to...get countered by Orton and sent into the ringpost. Orton rolls into the ring, and Flair tries to help Hunter, who eventually reenters the ring. They trade punches, and again Orton gets the better of the exchange. European uppercut. Powerslam for 2. Side inverted backbreaker for 2. Bodyslam. Orton slowly up to the top rope, and the flying bodypress gets 2. Orton calls for the RKO, but Hunter counters into the sleeper. Orton reverses and tosses Hunter into the corner before locking in the sleeper again. Triple H pulls the referee into Orton's head. Flair takes advantage of the sleeping referee to hand Triple H the ring bell, but a kick by Orton knocks the bell out of Triple H's hands. Orton knocks Flair off the apron, then hits Triple H with the bell. In comes Batista to clothesline Orton, and that brings Benoit to the ring to even the odds. Shawn Michaels is out to check on the referee, and into the ring comes Edge. He goes to spear Michaels, but Chris Jericho makes the save. All hell has broken loose as Jericho dives onto three men as Michaels takes over the referee duties. For the second week in a row, Triple H argues with a referee, and he turns into an attempted RKO, but Hunter tosses him down. Orton counters a Pedigree into a rollup for 2, and this time he connects with the RKO for the pin at 16:43.


END OF SHOW

We ran quite long tonight, so we're going to wrap this up as quickly as possible. This was actually a pretty good matchup until the mass run-ins came along, even though the crowd wasn't really into the match until the mass run-ins started. Orton did a terrific job selling the ribs until the ref bump, and it told a very solid story, as how much more of that could Orton have possibly taken? The run-ins kind of killed the match from being just a terrific story, but they were kind of necessary to help build to the Elimination Chamber.

Overall, I have to say that while this wasn't as good as last week's beat the clock night, I liked this show. Three really good matches (even if they were only with the main eventers) combined with some solid angle development usually leads to a pretty entertaining use of two hours and ten minutes, and they actually such a good job developing those angles that I'm actually more interested in this show than the Royal Rumble so far. That takes some work.

But I always have those who disagree with me, and you can voice those opinions here.

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