|
From TheSmartMarks.com TNA First off, I�d like to thank those who gave their thoughts on my Then and Now column. Especially Mike, who went pretty in-depth with his thoughts and gave me a good read. The e-mail is much to long to reprint here, but I�ll get back to you when I get the time. - The Pulp Fiction parody ad with Booker T and Eddie Guerrero is shown, and while it isn�t as funny as the others, Booker ending reciting a Bible passage with his catchphrase is great. - Christy and Candace chat, and Trish comes up to them. Things get catty as Trish brags about being the #1 Diva and how she can take care of business. Christy once again gets suggestive about Trish�s promiscuity, and Candace laughs, so Trish slaps Candace (who shows why she�s known more for her looks than her acting skills in selling it) and Christy spears Trish into the wall. Trish might as well throw the Women�s title off a bridge if she�s going to job to Christy at Mania. - HBK pulls Orton away from Stacy Keibler so they can talk shop. Orton brings up Wrestlemania, and Shawn tells him to not sit around waiting for opportunities; take them, like he does every year since he made history with a ladder match. Shawn realizes that he has to take his own advice and leaves. Simon Dean vs. Chris Jericho Dean insults Joe Paterno to get cheap heat. Jericho works the arm to start and sends Dean to the apron, knocking him to the floor with a dropkick. Back in, Dean controls after avoiding a flying Jericho with a front facelock. Jericho puts Dean on top to break and catches him coming off with a dropkick. He goes for the bulldog, but Dean pushes off, so Jericho hits an enziguri instead before hitting the bulldog. Lionsault meets knees (that never hits anymore) and Dean hits the Simonizer, but it only gets 2. Jericho gets the Walls and Dean crawls for his bag, but the ref pushes it away and Dean taps. Rating: 1/10 Thoughts: Pretty pointless in my opinion. So is Dean a glorified Jobber to the Stars now? If they want Dean on TV every week, put him on Heat to build his character and THEN put him on RAW. He�s just floating in limbo right now. - The General Playah and Eric Bischoff argue about who Batista will sign with. Long is obviously looking more confident after last night. Michaels interrupts, and asks Long to pass a message to Kurt Angle: He wants him in a match at Wrestlemania. Kane vs. Tyson Tomko Tomko has a mic (four words that are never good when put together) and says that Batista is getting too much play, and that Tomko will prove that he is the most dominant Superstar on RAW. Kane controls to start and drops an elbow for 2. Tomko gets a bad looking boot and getting a neck wrench, but Kane fights to his feet and drops Tomko on the rope before hitting a flying clothesline. He goes for the chokeslam, but Tomko ducks, and Kane hits a gutbuster. Tomko avoids a charge and goes for a boot, but Kane ducks it and hits the chokeslam for the pin. Rating: DUD Thoughts: Well, so much for THAT prediction. Speaking of floating in limbo, Kane seems to be there until both Matt Hardy and Lita return from their injuries, because he�s already vanquished Snitsky, and he�s a face, so going after the IC title wouldn�t quite work (although Benjamin�s a �fighting champion�, so it shouldn�t matter if they do go in that direction). Tomko should just stick to being Christian�s muscle. - Flair greets an arriving limo, thinking that Batista has finally arrived, but instead, Chris Masters steps out. He tells Flair to watch his match, since �You might learn a thing or two.� - Mohammed Hassan and Daivari head out. Hassan complains that he�s faced nothing but prejudice ever since he debuted, and that, though our Founding Fathers said �all men are created equal�, he seems to be the only one that is being treated unfairly. However, no one can deny his undefeated streak, and no one in the RAW locker room can beat him, so if Batista goes to SmackDown, HE should face HHH at Wrestlemania. Chris Benoit interrupts, and Hassan assumes that he�s out to plead his case to face HHH (well, he�s made the guy tap cleanly, so he�s got that over Hassan), but Benoit�s out to challenge Hassan to a match and �shut you up.� Hassan accepts�..just not tonight, since he isn�t ready. Benoit doesn�t care about that and attacks. Daivari jumps on his back, which allows Hassan to take his knee out, and the beat down commences. Well, Benoit would probably bump for ME if it makes me look good, so a match between the two should be interesting. Randy Orton and HBK vs. Edge and Christian Hope this goes better than the LAST time Christian teamed with Edge. Christian and Orton start, and Orton takes him down with a headlock, but Edge drags Orton by the trunks to the corner so Christian can tag out. He whips and charges, but Orton counters with a rollup for 2. Michaels in, and he hits a running knee and chops away. Edge slugs him down and tags Christian, but Shawn chops to control and backdrops him for 2. Christian slugs him down and tags Edge, but Shawn fights them both off and gets a Lou Thesz press on Edge, but he puts his head down and Edge tags out. E&C are showing why they were so effective a team. Shawn grabs a headlock and rolls through an escape attempt to keep it on, so Christian forgoes etiquette and yanks Shawn down by the hair. He tries a dropkick and Shawn catches his legs, but that was a ruse so that Christian can push him off and Edge can pull the top rope down to send Shawn out (you could hear Edge communicating it), and dives onto him from the apron as we take a break. Slow pace so far, but they�re letting Edge and Christian shine here with their tag experience. Coming back, Edge hits a dropkick for 2 and sends Michaels hard into the corner before tagging out. Even JR and Lawler are on their game, commenting on the quick tags from E&C. Christian works the back for a bit and slaps Shawn in the corner, but Shawn returns the favor and whips, but runs into an elbow. Christian goes up, but Shawn meets him with a shot to the gut and a swinging neckbreaker before tagging Orton while Christian tags Edge. Orton gets a powerslam and rapid-fire clubs to the chest before hitting a pump crossbody off the top for 2. Christian cuts him off with a knee to the back and they bring back their reverse DDT/sidewalk slam combo. Christian in, and he cuts off an Orton rally with a chinlock (come on guy, you�ve gone this far without one.) and cuts off another one before tagging Edge. They try a double flapjack, but Orton counters with a DDT on both and tags Michaels. Michaels goes to town and Orton tries the RKO on Edge, but Edge shoves him into the ref before hitting a spear on Orton. Michaels hits him with a flying forearm and slams Christian before hitting the elbow. He tunes up the band, but Edge trips him up and, along with Christian, crotches him on the post. They grab chairs (could it be�..?) and set Shawn up (yes�.do it�..), but Shawn ducks the Conchairto (dammit!) and Orton clotheslines Edge out while Christian eats some Sweet Chin Music for the pin. Rating: 7/10 Thoughts: I highly enjoyed that one. Edge and Christian were booked pretty strong for most of the match, and they controlled most of the tempo with their quick tags. A Conchairto would have given this another point, but still, a fun match. Orton�s concussion angle didn�t surface at all in this match, however (though he wasn�t in the ring for most of the match), but that might be for the best, since it wasn�t going anywhere to begin with. - Da Coach tells Bischoff that Batista is minutes away from the arena. - Maria catches up with Michaels, but Edge attacks and spears him into a table, telling him not to focus on anyone else but him. Steven Richards vs. Chris Masters So THAT�S where Orton�s entrance pyro went. The crowd is totally silent during his walk to the ring. His music sounds a LITTLE like the Narcissist, but there are no hot women in bikinis bringing pyro shooting mirrors to the ring. I�d love to elaborate on the match, but I was too busy listening to the humming of the air conditioning in the arena as there wasn�t a single peep from the crowd during any of this. Masters wins with a Polish hammer, followed by a full nelson for the submission. No Rating Thoughts: Masters actually looks like the love child of Randy Orton and Ken Shamrock. Orton�s even more buffer than he is. Ok, ok, I know some of you are looking for me to say something positive so��.um��..the way he poses to his music is kinda cool. Oh, and I did learn a thing or two from this match. 1) Using the full nelson as a finisher went out with Billy Jack Haynes and 2) This guy might disappear faster than Mordecai, which is a feat. - The opening video is played again. Oh, why do THAT when you could have added a few more minutes to that scintillating Masters debut? Oh, wait, I�m being too negative again. Sorry. Snitsky vs. Shelton Benjamin � (IC title match) Guess someone in the WWE braintrust figured out that a guy with a first name like �Gene� isn�t going to strike fear in the hearts of men. This is a return bout from last week, when Snitsky got himself DQed. Benjamin goes for the knee to start and sends Snitsky out. Back in, Snitsky controls with an armbreaker and hits a sidewalk slam for 2. He gets snippy with the ref again and applies a keylock, but Shelton escapes and hits a Stinger splash. He tries the Exploder, but Snitsky fights free and goes for a chair again. Benjamin baseball slides it back into him and then cracks him with it for the DQ. Rating: DUD Thoughts: Well�.okay then. No skin off Benjamin�s back, since he keeps the title, but let�s move on, shall we? - Flair tries to reach Batista again and fails, and HHH is really getting angry. Flair reminds him of all he�s done for Batista and HHH answers �I�ve done more than you�ve ever known� and spills his master plan to Flair (and to the crowd�.and to whoever�s watching a TV tuned to RAW). He�s the one that supplied the tape of JBL and Big Show dissing Batista and he�s the one that got a white limousine and a replica of JBL�s horns to scare Batista with. But that was all just to light a fire under Batista, since �sometimes he�s not smart enough to do what�s good for him�. Flair revels in HHH�s genius, but HHH is worried that �that big idiot� will stay on RAW and blow everything, since what�s right for Evolution is what�s right for Batista. The camera pans back�..to reveal Batista standing outside the doorway with a big smile on his face. Thoughts: Ok, they HAD to let the cat out of the bag tonight, but maybe this wasn�t the best way to do it. The suspension of belief can only go so far, and not many people can buy HHH revealing his master plan without noticing the camera crew in the same room. They could have done this NEXT week, with the explanation that Batista set the whole thing up with the camera positioned outside the door (and out of sight of HHH and Flair), but it popped the crowd big when Batista was revealed, so what�s done is done. - Next week in Providence: Chris Benoit vs. Mohammed Hassan and HBK faces Edge in a street fight. JR and Lawler wonder what Batista�s going to do after what we just saw? I don�t know Jim�..go to TNA? - The red carpet is in the ring, and a table is set up for Batista to sign the contract he chooses. Bischoff and Long come out, and Bischoff introduces Batista, who walks out with HHH and Flair. Bischoff pleads his case: RAW is the #1 brand and the flagship of the WWE. Besides �unlike some other general managers�, Bischoff�s job is safe (though losing someone like Batista would theoretically change that). Long reminds Batista of the reaction he got at No Way Out and that he and John Cena are the two hottest commodities in the WWE. A feud between them could rival that of Stone Cold and the Rock. Batista ponders, and HHH decides to plead HIS case. �This shouldn�t be a hard decision, because it�s what�s best for you, and what�s best for you is what�s best for Evolution.� Nice twist of words of what he said to Flair. HHH tells him to picture the end of Wrestlemania 21, where HHH stands tall, still World Champion, and Batista stands with him, new WWE champion. It�d be historical, like if Ric Flair was NWA champion, while Arn Anderson was WWF champion (hey, I won�t get sued) in the 80s. It�d be like if Shawn Michaels was WWF champion, and HHH was WCW champion when DX was around. Ok, we GET IT Hunter. Batista grabs a mic and tells him that he�s known what he�s going to do for a long time�.and throws down the RAW contract. Bischoff looks downtrodden while Flair and HHH celebrate. Batista gives them thumbs up��.� ....and then turns it down before attacking. He disposes of Flair before �Tistabombing HHH through the table and signing the RAW contract. He vows victory at Wrestlemania before posing with the belt as we fade to black. Thoughts: Though the previous segment hurt the payoff a little bit, the payoff was still done very well. Had me marking out, anyway. So FINALLY the turn is complete, and the nod to the Orton beatdown was absolutely the perfect touch. Should be a hell of a buildup over the next month and change. Final Thoughts: The first hour had some good stuff, but after the tag match, things kind of meandered until the final two segments. Still, the buildup to Wrestlemania has begun in earnest, and it will be interesting to see what else RAW has to offer for LA. That�s it for me. It�s my turn to pull a double shift next week, so keep reading. Send feedback to: [email protected] © Copyright by TheSmartMarks.com |