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WWE Heat Recap: November 3rd, 2002
By Peter "FakeRazor" Ramon
Nov 4, 2002, 16:43

Does anyone really watch this crap anymore? Seriously... sometimes I feel like the only person on the planet that watches WWE Heat. Even the crowd on Planet Stasiak no longer watches Heat, as their hero, Shawn Stasiak is no longer with the company.

I guess Heat isn�t as bad as the pure torture that is The Hulkster, one of Hulk Hogan's Coliseum videos, which I was lucky (or unlucky) enough to pick up this weekend. Don�t worry, I�ll be reviewing that piece of crap one of these days for this fine web site.

Anywho, onto this week�s crapfest.

Your hosts are, as always, Jonathan Coachman and Lita.

The pyro goes off, and here comes.......

3 Minute Warning (Rosie and Jamal) with Rico. Those poor guys. They were once so promising, beating the hell out of people on RAW. Now they�re getting squashed by The Big Show and wrestling on the Heat Opener. On the flip side, at least we get a tag match this week. I can�t remember the last time there�s been a tag match on Heat... as a matter of fact, I don�t think there�s been a tag match on Heat since I began recapping this poor excuse for a Television show back in July. Oh, Rosie and Jamal have a new theme as well. It�s nothing special.

Their opponents are... two jobbers! What the fuck is up with the return of jobber matches? I will call them two jobbers, because WWE didn�t even mention their names once. I don�t think they even told Coach and Lita their names, as they just referred to them as �those guys� the whole match. One of them looks like Mike Owens, who wrestled last week on Heat. I�ll refer to him as Jobber A. I don�t know who the other one is, but he�s pretty small, and has long blue tights with lighting and long brown hair. He�ll be Jobber B.

Match One: 3 Minute Warning vs. Uhhh... Jobber A and Jobber B
This should be a straight squash for 3 Minute Warning (which is a pretty sweet name, if you ask me). Jobber A and Jamal will start this one off. Jamal goes to work pounding the hell out of Jobber A, followed by a whip and a missed clothesline. Jobber A hits Jamal with some rights and lefts, but Jamal is unaffected, and knocks the poor sap down with a clothesline. A �Rico sucks� chant is flooding the arena at this point. Jamal pulls Jobber B into the ring, and tags in his partner, Rosie, who gets floored by a nice double drop toehold, and a double shoulder block. Jamal no sells it though, does a kip up, and catches Team Jobber off guard with a double clothesline, flooring them both. Rosie tosses Jobber A over the top rope, and clotheslines Jobber B over the top. Rico hits Jobber A with some stiff kicks while the ref isn�t looking, and tosses him back in the ring, where Rosie wears him down with a foot choke. Rosie sends Jobber A into the corner, and tags in Jamal. Rosie whips Jamal into Jobber A for an avalanche in the corner. Rosie takes out Jobber A with some kicks, and Three Minute Warning stomps away on him. Jobber B climbs to the top while Rosie and Jamal are concentrating on Jobber A, and tries to catch Rosie off guard, but Rosie catches him a sweet Samoan Drop! NICE. Jamal covers Jobber B, but lets up on the cover. They want to dish out more punishment. Jamal climbs up to the top and hits a big splash for the win.
Squash Match, no rating.

D�Lo Brown vs. WHACKO Steven Richards is tonight�s main event.

Commercial time... but wait... New Anthology commercial! This time, it�s for Sycho Sid, one of my least favorite wrestlers ever. He did have a cool theme though.

Lugz Boot of the Night
The Boot of the night is HHH getting chokeslammed onto the hood of Kane�s car. I don�t see how that�s a boot, or how it�s from tonight, but whatever.

RAW Recap: HHH has things removed from his ass.
I really, really, really pity JHawk. That�s all I�ve got to say. Make him feel better and check out RAW from JHawk�s beak.

RD Reynolds of Wrestlecrap put it best.


Oooh, next we get a recap of quite possibly the WORST Casket match EVER. And that is REALLY saying something, folks.

Overdrive of the Night:
Trish Stratus� double Stratusfaction on Molly and Jacqueline.

Lilian Garcia is backstage for an interview with Victoria. Victoria cuts up Trish Stratus, saying Trish hurt her in the past, and made her life a living hell. Victoria challenges Trish to a Hardcore match for the Women�s title at Survivor Series.

Steven Richards is backstage with Raven. Richards says he and Raven go way back, and Richards wants in on Raven�s secret announcement, or whatever the hell you want to call it. Raven says no, and says Richards can find out along with everyone else next week on Heat. I don�t see how EVERYONE will find out, as NOONE watches this show. I bet you Raven�s secret announcement won�t be as bad as �Kane... you are a murderer,� but we can only wait and see.

Here comes The lost Johnson brother, Justin Credible. His opponent this week is Mark Jindrak.

Match Two: Just Mediocre vs. Mark Jindrak
The bell rings and they tie-up. Credible slips behind into a waistlock, but Jindrak drops down. Credible slaps Jindrak in the face a couple times to piss him off. Credible takes control with some brawling and a whip, but Jindrak reverses it and takes JC down with a waistlock, and slaps Credible just as Credible slapped him earlier. Two HUGE dropkicks by Jindrak, right into a kip up, and the Power Plant grad is in control. Credible rests in the corner for a minute, and then tries to drive at Jindrak, but he gets taken down with an armdrag, right into an armbar. Arm wringer by Jindrak, but Credible punches out and hits some chops in the corner. Jindrak gets pissed and throws Credible to the corner and hits him with some rights and lefts, then sends him to the other turnbuckle and hits a cross body into the corner. Jindrak jumped over the top after the cross body, and sunset flips Credible over the top rope back into the ring, but Credible holds onto the second rope for leverage. The ref breaks it up, and Credible floors Jindrak with a hard right. Credible goes to work in the corner with some brawling, and he taunts the crowd. Baseball slide by Credible, followed by a snapmare into a rear facelock. Jindrak elbows out , but Credible slams Jindrak�s face into the mat. Credible throws Jindrak back into the corner, and hits him with more rights and lefts. Jindrak is revived and whips Credible and tries for another dropkick, but Credible holds onto the ropes and Jindrak falls flat on his face. Cover...1...2...kickout by Mark Jindrak. Credible goes right back to work with the rear facelock. Jindrak fights out with some elbows, but Credible rakes the ye, and sets him up for a suplex, but Jindrak is too heavy. Jindrak hits a suplex of his own, but he�s unable to follow up. Credible is first to his feet, but Jindrak floors him with some rights and a bodyslam followed by a dropkick and a whip to the corner. Jindrak catches Credible with a tilt-a-whirls slam for two, and then an atomic drop, followed by a springboard spinning axehandle off the top rope for the win. Impressive showing by Jindrak.
*

D�Lo vs. Richards is shilled again.

Another new Anthology commercial, this time for Shawn Michaels. More commercials follow.

Tough Enough III Recap:
Make sure to check out Patrick Spoon's recap of the show for more on TE III.

Richards vs. D�Lo is shilled again, before the commercial break.

The Batista promo is shown.

RAW is Necrophilia Recap: Triple H vs. Kane in a dreadful Casket Match
I didn�t pay much attention to this match (and can you blame me?), so I don�t have much to say, other than I bet this match blew big time.

D�Lo vs. Richards is shilled yet again, and it�s time for even more commercials.

Main Event: WHACKO Steven Richards vs. D�Lo Brown
Richards comes out... to absolute silence. D�Lo comes out, and the crowd goes wild.

Coach brings up Scott Steiner as both guys are walking out. I�m against Steiner coming in, and I hope to god that he goes to RAW.

Coach also won�t shut up about the SHAKY SHAKY Legdrop. I wish he�d drop that annoying catchphrase.

Tie-up to start, with D�Lo getting backed into the corner. Richards chops D�Lo, and they�re separated. Another tie-up, this time Richards gets backed into the corner, followed by a hiptoss and a bodyslam by D�Lo, and a rollup for two. D�Lo takes Richards down with an armdrag into an armbar, but Richards rolls out and whips D�Lo, but gets a neckbreaker for his troubles, followed by a knee drop by D�Lo for two. Richards gets whipped into the corner, and backdrops D�Lo onto the apron and to the floor. D�Lo rolls back in, but Richards hits an elbow drop and a fist drop, followed by some knees to the midsection and a suplex for two. Bodyslam by Richards, and he mocks D�Lo by trying to do the SHAKY SHAKY LEGDROP. He misses, and gets two atomic drops from D�Lo, followed by a clothesline for two. D�Lo whips Richards, but gets kicked in the face, and clotheslined. Richards chokes D�Lo over the second rope with his leg and breaks at 4. Richards gets D�Lo back up and hits a belly to back for 2. Richards gets the rear chinlock locked in, but D�Lo elbows out and hits a rollup out of nowhere for two. Richards locks in the full nelson, which Coach hilariously calls a �MODIFIED CAMEL CLUTCH.� What a moron. D�Lo elbows out, and takes Richards down with a kick. Richards whips D�Lo, but D�Lo hits a flying forearm. 10 count by the ref, and Richards gets up at 8. D�Lo takes command with some rights, knocking Richards on his ass. Whip by D�Lo, followed by a baaack body drop. Bodyslam by D�Lo, followed by the SHAKY SHAKY Legdrop for two. D�Lo tries for another atomic drop, but Richards punches out of it. D�Lo hits a heel kick out of nowhere, and SLOWLY climbs to the top to go for the Frog Splash, but Richards shakes the rope and D�Lo lands right on his nuts. Richards climbs to the top for a superplex, but D�Lo hits a TOP ROPE SKY HIGH! HOLY SHIT! I cannot believe they allowed D�Lo to do such a dangerous powerbomb. That was a sweet move.
*1/2

Bottom Line: Typical boring Heat. Still, not as bad as the Hogan Coliseum Video...

FakeRazor

As always, you can reach me here.

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