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From TheSmartMarks.com TNA Raw from JHawk's Beak (2/23/2004) Segment 1 Last Monday, Shawn Michaels pinned Chris Benoit in what may or may not have been a classic, depending on your point of view, only to be Pedigreed by Triple H afterwards. A triple threat match between the three was announced for WrestleMania XX. L-I-V-E LIVE! From the Qwest Center in Omaha, Nebraska! Good Ol' JR and The King will bring you all the action! Tonight, Chris Benoit takes on Batista! Plus, the Monday Night War erupts TONIGHT! Fatal Four Way Elimination Match for the WWE Women's Championship: Lita vs. Victoria vs. Jazz (w/Theodore Long) vs. Good Golly Miss Molly Holly (champion) Never mind that Victoria won the number one contenders spot about three months ago; two other women get the shot too. All four women in the ring as Chad Patton calls for the bell. Victoria rolls Jazz up for a quick two count. Double chickenwing faceslam by Jazz, and Lita goes after Jazz. DDT, and Jazz is pinned by Lita at 56 seconds(!). Molly with a handspring elbow to Victoria. Swinging neckbreaker to Lita. Cover, but Victoria cradles Molly for the pin at 1:36. Molly is PISSED because we're going to have a title change, and she gives Victoria a beating until referees finally pry her off. "Lita" chant as the referees continue to try to remove Molly from the ring. COMMERCIAL BREAK Jazz and Molly, arguably the two best workers in the match, both eliminated within the first two minutes? What is that all about? Nothing like making the division's two heels look really weak in a short amount of time. We're guaranteed a new champion, and I'm hoping it's Victoria, but the beatdown leaves a lot of doubt. Segment 2 We're back as Victoria locks in a side headlock. Lita with a headscissors. Clothesline for 2. Victoria with a snap mare. Reverse chinlock. Double wristlock. Lita turns it into a Russian legsweep for 2. Lita sends Victoria to the apron, but Victoria knocks her down to the mat. She misses a slingshot legdrop, and Lita rolls her up for 2. Lita counters a fireman's carry into...um...a headscissors, I guess...although I think she was trying for a cross armbreaker...it was ugly either way...and she covers for 2. Twist of Fate for 2. Another quick cover for 2. Corner whip, but Victoria gets a knee to the face and a roll up for 2. Lita counters an apparent Widow's Peak with a double-leg takedown and cradle for 2. Power bomb. Lita going up top, but Victoria grabs her and hits the Widow's Peak for the pin and the title at 9:42. Not bad action, but Lita's got an early candidate for blown spot of the year, and that hurts it. *1/2 Steven Richards runs out for the celebration and gives her a hug...oh, get a room! Here comes a long black limo, and it's Mr. McAsshole asking his chauffeur to bring his wrestling gear to his office. COMMERCIAL BREAK Would it really have killed them to just build the Molly-Victoria one-on-one match for WrestleMania and have Victoria win it there? I mean, she's been number one contender forever, and when she finally gets her shot, she ends up beating Lita for the title, who hadn't been anywhere near the championship in over a month. I guess we could still get Victoria vs. Molly, but it's not going to mean the same now. At least this was an elimination match though, because the champion had to get pinned to lose the title, unlike the WrestleMania triple threat match. Segment 3 Eric Bischoff is nervous and in his office, and in comes Coach stating the obvious: Vince is here. In comes Christian to also state the obvious. Christian asks for a tag team title shot at WrestleMania, and Eric appreciates friendship, but Jericho's not a friend of Bischoff's. He left him hanging in WCW, and he badmouths him now, so tonight, it's going to be Christian vs. Trish Stratus. Most men would like to wrestle Trish. Non-Title Match scheduled for one fall: Randy Orton (WWE Intercontinental Champion) vs. Val Venis Last week, Orton orchestrated wrestling's most boring beatdown on Mick Foley, which JR calls "uncomfortable to watch". I'd agree, but probably not for the same reasons. An exclusive interview with Foley comes later tonight. Orton with a knee to the midsection early, and he decides to brawl with Venis early. Venis gets a low dropkick in, then does the running short kneesmashes. Abdominal stretch. Roll up for 2, and Orton rolls outside for a Tastykake break. Venis follows, but Orton takes control and whips Venis' back into the apron. Back into the ring they go. Corner whip by Orton. Knees to the back. Foley chant as Orton locks in a bow-and-arrow. Orton's shoulders fall to the mat for a 2 count, forcing Orton to release the hold. "Bang bang" from Orton for his first true heel reaction in weeks. Venis begins a comeback, and they trade blows in the ring. Venis with an Irish whip and a backdrop. Chops and forearms, and a ten punch count along. Half nelson suplex/slam for 2, which JR is trying to call a "uranage" even though he can't pronounce it. I'm sure RavishingRickRudo will tell me in the forums if that's actually a uranage or not. Spinebuster slam. Up top, but Orton slams him off the turnbuckle. Venis tries an abdominal stretch, but Orton pushes him into the corner and hits the RKO for the pin at 5:14. *1/2 Still to come tonight, Chris Benoit vs. Batista. COMMERCIAL BREAK While the match wasn't bad per se, the crowd showed exactly how much they cared with their reaction--there was none. Mick Foley had more heat than either of the two men in the match, and considering he didn't make any sort of in-ring appearance in the entire segment, that is pretty sad. I'm trying hard to wait for Orton's push to actually start working, but this has to be some pretty strong evidence that it isn't working. Segment 4 14,572 have sold out Omaha's Qwest Center for Raw! Remember Eric Bischoff challenging Vince McMahon on Nitro about six years ago? That segment is on Monday Night War, available now on VHS and DVD! Backstage, Eric has no idea who told them to play that. And who should walk in but Stone Cold Steve Austin, who accepts responsibility for that. Austin uses Bischoff's own words from last week as a "pep talk" for him. Hell, he made out with Vince's wife and daughter and lived to tell about it, and he's being paid for it! And Bischoff begins bragging as Vince enters the room, and as he tells about his fantasy, Bischoff realizes Vince is behind him. Well, people thought Vince vs. Bischoff was a fantasy, but after Vince's announcement tonight, it's reality. Austin: "Face it, kid. You've got him exactly where you want him." The Man WHOO! peps Batista for his huge match with Benoit, and Batista vows that Benoit will be begging to go back to SmackDown after tonight. And in comes Triple H, who has something to say in the ring, and he wants the rest of Evolution with him. COMMERCIAL BREAK So Vince vs. Bischoff is apparently official (I'll believe it when I see it), and Evolution gets a segment for the sole purpose of warning us that Triple H is about to speak. Pure build for later tonight here, and not much of note, really. Segment 5 Twenty days until WrestleMania XX! And here comes Triple H and Evolution for an in-ring promo. Last week, Steve Austin informed the world that the World Heavyweight Title will be on the line in a triple threat match at WrestleMania. And Hunter was pissed until he thought about it and realized that they always stack the deck against him. I mean, he's The Game. The champ. But he's only human. "Sometimes I forget how great I actually am." There's a "You suck" chant. Hunter uses it as proof that people just don't like how great he is. Back to the script, and Hunter's not happy about defending against two people at WrestleMania or being able to lose the title without being pinned. But is that the end of the champion's reign? The crowd pops huge at the question (somebody in charge had better take the hint), but Hunter says he simply can't lose at the biggest spectacle in WWE history, no sir. Once again he'll prove that he's the best wrestler in the world today. Here comes Chris BenOIT with a microphone in his hand. Yes, Triple H is the champion, and that does make him the best. And since Benoit's come to Raw, that's all he's heard from Triple H -- a lot of talk. "The time for talking is done." Hunter tells Benoit to enter the ring right now and prove how tough he is. Well hell, it's 4-on-1, of course Hunter thinks it's fair. Benoit grabs a chair, and in he comes. Evolution begins to surround him, and Batista attacks from behind. Here's a beatdown, and here comes the Holy Bible Kid to make the save. HBK grabs the chair as Benoit and Hunter remain in the ring...and Benoit locks HBK in the Crippler Crossface. But before we can savor the moments, it's Sheriff Austin to the rescue! Nobody enjoys a good fight more than he does, but he's here to enforce the law. There's a match between Benoit and Batista tonight, and we're going to have it right now, and anybody who interferes will not make it to WrestleMania XX. COMMERCIAL BREAK OK now, everybody make a mental note of it. Benoit was the one who got to look strong by the end of this segment. He went into the ring despite being heavily outnumbered, and he was the one who had his finisher on when things got broken up. Standard cookie cutter promo, but if the crowd reaction is actually an indication of things to come, we have to crown a new champion in 20 days. Segment 6 Batista vs. Chris BenOIT We're joined in progress with Benoit taking Batista down with a dragon screw leg whip. Benoit focuses his attack on the big man's legs, but Batista clubs away to gain the advantage. Beell by Batista. Benoit avoids a slam and goes for the sharpshooter, but Batista kicks away. Whip, shoulderblock. Elbowdrops. Big bearhug. Benoit tries to elbow out of it, but Batista hangs on. Batista releases and pounds away at Benoit before locking in a half Boston crab. Batista slams Benoit by one leg and covers for 2. Corner whip, clothesline, 2 count. Corner whip, Benoit lifts the boot. Benoit goes for the Crossface, but Batista counters. Benoit tries the rolling Germans, but Batista gets in a spinebuster for 2. Benoit avoids a slam and takes Batista down with a release German suplex. Into the rolling Germans. Benoit signals for the headbutt and heads up top...but Batista rolls out of the way. Batista goes for the sitout power bomb, but Benoit counters it into the Crippler Crossface...and Batista taps out to a huge pop at 6:17. I'm surprised it was as good as it was, even with Benoit in there. ** Still to come, McMahon vs. Bischoff, but next, Booker T and Rob Van Dam vs. La Resistance! COMMERCIAL BREAK One thing that caught my eye even more than the clean win by Benoit was the finish. Batista actually fought the crossface before Benoit locked it in out of sheer will. Something simple like that adds so much to a match. That's two segments tonight that Benoit's gotten to look strong in, and as long as he's on equal footing with his opponents coming into WrestleMania, I have no problems with the current direction. Segment 7 Eric Bischoff is still nervous, so Austin offers him a beer to help him relax. Bischoff's about to get killed, but Austin asks what happened to the Eric Bischoff that led Nitro to an 83-week winning streak over Raw. Why the hell is Austin putting Bischoff over all of a sudden? Bisch has three choices. 1. Walk out and get fired. 2. Lose, and get fired. 3. Don't worry about anything, become the old Eric Bischoff, and whip Vince's ass. And get fired, but Austin left that part out. "Eye of the tiger. Survive." Non-Title Tag Team Contest scheduled for one fall: La Resistance vs. Booker T and Rob.......Van.......Dam (WWE Tag Team Champions) RVD and Rene Dupree start it off. A series of punches by RVD, but Dupree kicks him. Shoulderblock. Monkey flip by RVD, followed by a mule kick for 2. Tag to Booker, and a double team leg lariat for 2. Dupree drives Booker into the corner. Booker gets tripped by Rob Conway, and there's the double team. Conway tags in and pounds away. Elbowsmash for 2. Reverse chinlock. Booker elbows out of it but runs into a backdrop. Tag to Dupree. Booker gets a leg lariat in, and both legal men are down. Tag to Conway, who prevents the hot tag. Booker avoids the double team and knocks both opponents down, and there's the tag to RVD, who cleans house. Springboard side kick, followed by rolling thunder. Double team by the heels. Booker with the Book End to Conway, then the Scissors Kick to Dupree to set up RVD's frog splash for the pin at 4:36. The illegal man was pinned, which is acknowledged, but it doesn't affect the rating, which isn't that good. * JR's conversation with Mick Foley is next. COMMERCIAL BREAK Not a great match, that's for sure, as it was mostly a disjointed mess. The rating's as good as it is because of the signature spots, which were all hit pretty cleanly. The hot tag formula actually hurts this one as well. The formula works well over the course of a 10-12 minute match when it can build drama, but it's largely unnecessary over the course of a 4-5 minute match, where the match is over before anybody can care about the psychology of it. Segment 8 WrestleMania Recall: Steve Allen performs with The Bolsheviks (WrestleMania VI). We haven't mentioned Savage vs. Steamboat in 11 months of hype but we show THIS? Christian is taping up his arm, and Trish Stratus comes in all concerned about their match tonight. Christian tells her he doesn't want a competitive match, so he'll simply lay down for her and take the pin. "And since I laid down for you, maybe you can lay down for me." Trish is offended, so she just passed the CLT--Christian Love Test. She won't hurt Jericho, so all is good. Uh huh... Last week's boring ass beatdown is once again relived. They're selling this like Foley is near death when I've seen Test matches that were more brutal. Earlier this weekend, JR interviewed Mick F'N Foley, who has a black eye. I guess the mat was dirty last week. Q: Are you in pain? He's in pain, but he's been in pain pretty much since career started. But he never needed a neurologist to explain injuries before. He got hit in the temple, but he got blood in his eye, so for the first time ever, his injuries scare him. Q: Why didn't you stay down? He didn't realize until he saw the tape that he was being beaten down for so long, so it was probably instinct, but how could he get beaten down for six minutes straight without being saved? As best he can tell, some guys probably haven't forgiven him for walking out back on December 15. Q: Can we safely assume that Mick Foley's career is over? Foley has a problem giving Randy Orton the power to say he ended his career. That he spit in his face? Sure. That Evolution stretchered him out? Sure. But Foley wants to be the old Commissioner Foley who laughed all the time, and he's not laughing. So next Monday, he's going to be in Atlanta for Raw, and there's going to be hell to pay. COMMERCIAL BREAK The usual emotional interview from Foley, and much needed to give last week's beatdown even the slightest bit of realism, so an A for effort there. And I love that Foley touched on something we were all asking about last week: Why did nobody make the save during such a long beating? Will that become a major factor in how things unfold next week? Segment 9 One fall: Christian vs. Trish Stratus Can you say "Over the Edge 1998"? Christian lays down as agreed to, but he kicks out at 2. Trish tries to walk away, but Christian taps her ass...then lays her out with a lariat. Christian apologizes, then locks her in the Walls of Jericho. Trish tries to reach the ropes, but Christian pulls her to the middle of the ring. Trish taps out at 1:27, but Christian refuses to release the hold. 1/2*, and all for evil Christian. JR screams bloody murder, but Lawler says "It was a match, you know." Christian looks down and says "Where's your boyfriend now, Trish?" COMMERCIAL BREAK Absolutely no surprise there except for maybe how vicious Christian looked in this segment. It sets up Jericho's run as a full-fledged face once he's back on TV as well as what should be a great series of matches, and Christian becomes a bigger heel than we might have thought possible with a simple clothesline and Walls of Jericho. Great segment from a character development standpoint. Segment 10 Back live, and here's a recap of the "tragedy" from the last segment. Was that supposed to be pain on Trish's face, or was she faking an orgasm? Backstage, Trish is being helped to the back, and she's in severe pain. Coach is talking to a bathroom door, and apparently he's puking...actually, no, because he's stormed out of it in workout gear. He's beaten Vince head-to-head before at his own game, and he did it by taking every one of Vince's stars and made them bigger stars. Vince didn't beat Bischoff. Bischoff had it won until Time Warner threw in the towel. So Vince might have won the battle, but tonight, Eric's going to win the war. COMMERCIAL BREAK You know when Bischoff's speech would have been better suited? During the Invasion three years ago. Better late than never, I guess. I still won't believe this "match" is going to happen until the bell rings, but it appears as though the old Bischoff's back and better than ever...damn, that theme song of his is catchy. Segment 11 Next week in Atlanta, Mick Foley returns, plus Chris Benoit teams with Shawn Michaels to take on Batista and Randy Orton. It's almost main event time, but first, Mr. McMahon is making his way to the ring for his big WrestleMania announcement. But before he can say it, it's My Future Wife and Miss Jackie on their way to the ring. Think Vince will remember he was hitting on Stacy around the time of the brand extension? They're sorry to interrupt, but they want to prove they should have gotten the Playboy cover...and they want to prove it at WrestleMania XX. The crowd boos for that, but Vince becomes the de facto face by asking them to prove it right now. Keep the camera on Stacy! So they dance for like 10 seconds before Vince books Stacy and Jackie vs. Torrie and Sable in an interpromotional evening gown match. Now it's Kane's turn. "You promised me he would die, so I buried him alive, and now he's back. DON'T PLAY WITH ME! You know exactly what I'm talking about! It's him. My brother. The Undertaker." Nice pop at the mention of Taker's name. Apparently he's been tormenting Kane day and night, and if Vince doesn't stop him, "You'll be the next one that gets buried alive." Vince officially makes Kane vs. The Undertaker at WrestleMania, and this time, somebody will finally be resting in peace. Now onto business. Brock Lesnar was begging at SmackDown for a match with Goldberg. And Vince isn't sure it's a good idea considering their states of mind. So he regrets to inform us...that Steve Austin is on his way to the ring? Oh, sorry, it's just Austin interrupting Vince. And if Vince doesn't give the people what they want to see, then Vince is breaking the law. This crowd wants the match, at least judging from the "hell yeah" Austin gets from the crowd. Austin acknowledges that a normal referee can't handle it, so Austin wants to be the special referee. Suddenly, I actually want to see this match. But what's in it for Austin? "That ain't none of your damn business." And Vince agrees to it. But before he goes anywhere, let's see exactly what kind of referee he'll be. With special referee Stone Cold Steve Austin: Mr. McAsshole vs. Eric Bischoff There's the bell (which shocked the hell out of me). They stare each other down...and Bisch wants a handshake. Vince reluctantly agrees...and gets in a knee to the gut. Vince chokes Bischoff with the ropes, and Bisch tries to fight back. Bisch with some karate, and the third shot connects and pisses Vince off. Bisch hides and Austin asks Vince to let him back in the ring. Vince shoves Austin for stopping him...and Austin knocks Vince down with a right hand. That gives Bisch the advantage as he uses martial arts to his advantage...until Vince gets in one clothesline. Chokehold, and Bischoff again out of the ring. Vince follows and keeps the chokehold on...and King Brock I is behind Austin! F5! Where the hell is security? Brock's standing over Austin.... END OF SHOW And we apparently have a no contest at 3:30, and the "match" is a solid DUD. Boring as hell segment, and kind of a weird ending to the show, although I'd suspect Goldberg may have shown up after the show went off the air if I didn't know he was filming a movie. The point of this segment was to set up some key matches for WrestleMania, which was accomplished, although I can't wait to see who doesn't make the card because of an evening gown match involving four non-wrestling chicks. I mean, Stacy Keibler in her lingerie is a good thing. Just not at WrestleMania. But Vince's big WrestleMania announcement was supposed to be that there wasn't going to be a Goldberg-Lesnar match? Considering the announcement was hyped before Lesnar asked for the match, the announcement should have been about somethine else, right? Overall, an OK show with some decent wrestling (although no standout matches) and a couple of decent segments, but nothing worth remembering a week from now. The WrestleMania hype is in full swing, and despite the fact that some of these matches are bound to be bad, they've done a good job building most of them up so far. Now for the test: Building up enough interest in the show that people are buying it because it looks like a good show and not because it bears the WrestleMania XX name. Until SmackDown, send me some feedback or check out the archives. © Copyright by TheSmartMarks.com |