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From TheSmartMarks.com TNA Raw from JHawk's Beak (7/26/2004) Segment 1 The diva search contestants are LIVE in the Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and last week, the fans voted off Julia. So sayeth Coach. One of the twins is gone. The divas' assignment tonight: seduce a former WWE superstar. An opening video package highlighting Chris Benoit's road to the World Title and subsequent feud with Triple H. Edge is coming to the ring, even though we were supposed to open with our Iron Man Match. Out comes Matt Hardy v.1.0, and about 2/3 of the Raw roster is already in the ring. Out comes Y2J+4, and I have to think we're going to have a battle royal to determine a number one contender. And out comes Kane. Now it's Randy Orton, Batista, and The Man WHOO! Finally Eric Bischoff makes his way out to explain things, and sure enough, the winner of this battle royal will get a shot at the winner of the main event at Summerslam. 20-Man Battle Royal Over the top rope rules apply. Evolution dumps out William Regal. So much for that. Jericho and Edge eliminate Tyson Tomko. Edge spears Chuck Palumbo, and Palumbo's eliminated. Orton with the RKO to Edge. Edge saves Jericho from sure elimination. COMMERCIAL BREAK Well, we said we'd probably have the answers to our SummerSlam main event questions before the end of the night, and this assures it. They might actually spoil the main event by announcing the official winner here. My only complaint is we just had this copout maybe two months ago leading into Bad Blood. Segment 2 During the break, Hardy was eliminated by Kane, but he reentered the ring and pounded on Kane. The Hurricane is eliminated, but Rosey eliminates Steven Richards and Rodney Mack. Rosey is gone. Tajiri Yoshihiro eliminates both members of La Resistance. Kane eliminates Tajiri. Jericho tries to eliminate Orton, but nothing doing. Edge slams Flair off the top rope, and Jericho puts the Nature Boy in the Walls of Jericho. Eight men remain, and Kane's ready to eliminate Edge... COMMERCIAL BREAK I am not getting into this match. Too many eliminations come at once, and then nothing happens for several minutes. OK, realistic enough, I'll give them that, but I'm having a hard time getting into it. Segment 3 No eliminations during the break, although Edge saved himself by low blowing Orton. Kane with a side slam to Maven. Flair chops him, but that does nothing. Choke slam! Batista and Kane stare each other down, and they go at it. Kane gets the better of the exchange but is taken down by a sidewalk slam. A Gore by The Man Beast Rhyno to Batista. Maven whips Flair into the corner, then eliminates him. Rhyno gores Maven but is eliminated by Batista. Edge and Jericho double team Kane, and everybody gets involved to eliminate him. Maven backdrops Orton, who lands on the apron. Orton suplexes Maven onto the top rope and finishes eliminating him. Final Four: Edge, Jericho, Batista, and Orton. Edge and Jericho team up to eliminate Batista. Jericho eliminates Edge. Jericho stares him down, and Edge stares a hole into Jericho, and we're down to two. They exchange forearms. Orton goes for the elimination, but Jericho hangs on until Orton drops him with a modified spinebuster. Orton tries to slingshot him over, and Jericho dangles on the top rope but hangs on. Jericho tries to eliminate Orton, but Orton struggles...and hangs on. European uppercuts. Over the top goes Jericho, but he skins the cat back in. Another shot by Orton, and Jericho hangs on again. Jericho tries to channel Chris Benoit at the Royal Rumble for the elimination, and they're both in danger of going over...and they're both on the apron. They exchange blows, and both men nearly fall to the floor. Orton falls back into the ring, and Orton RKOs Jericho as he tries to reenter the ring. Jericho hangs on, but a baseball slide by Orton finally wins it at 21:19. Not a great battle royal, but what a finish. *3/4 Coach and the divas are standing by to complete their task for the evening, and that's next. COMMERCIAL BREAK So we know the challenger for the World Title at SummerSlam, and it's Randy Orton. And either way the main event goes, I think we've got the best choice. Seriously. I mean, Orton-Benoit gives you the face vs. heel matchup, but if Triple H wins, you get the added intrigue of Evolution member vs. Evolution member. I can't wait for that main event to develop. But could we be building to an Edge-Jericho Intercontinental Title Match at SummerSlam? That could be interesting if they go there. Segment 4 Live in Pittsburgh's Mellon Arena. The divas have 20 seconds to seduce a former WWE superstar. Michelle starts seducing Kamala. She sucks. And not literally. Christy is next. And this is all pretty samey, so you'll forgive me if I ignore it all. Holy shit, is this boring. Carmella basically spent the entire 20 seconds going "You've got to be kidding." Amy wears a Hines Ward jersey for a cheap local pop. What a waste of ten minutes. SmackDown Rebound time. COMMERCIAL BREAK If I were going to vote, it would be either Amy or Joy since they at least had some fun with it. Of course, I'm not going to vote, so it doesn't matter. But Kamala? Couldn't you have brought somebody in that might have made it entertaining? Like Bobby Heenan? Mean Gene Okerlund could have had fun with it. Hell, why not use Pat Patterson? I might have paid to see that one! Segment 5 Chris Benoit defends the title against Triple H in an Iron Man momentarily, and Benoit's DVD comes out tomorrow in most places in the United States. The winner meets Randy Orton at SummerSlam. Ivory, My Future Wife, and Linda McMahon are at the Democratic National Convention in Boston to hype the SmackDown Your Vote campaign. Thank God we have the Iron Man Match coming up, because any resemblance between this and wrestling is nonexistant. I think the point is "Stacy Keibler votes, so you should too." And now we bring the divas out in bikinis to set up the "fan vote". If you give a shit and you're reading this as I put it up, you might have about three hours or so to go to wwe.com if you actually care about this garbage. How many idiots are calling thinking they'll get to talk to these women? Hungry Hungry Hippos congratulates Randy Orton, who wishes the challenger luck after saying it'll be an honor to wrestle him at SummerSlam. Hunter: "I'm The Game. I don't need luck." COMMERCIAL BREAK Is anybody else getting psyched here? It's just about main event time, so let's get on with it! Segment 6 Sixty Minute Iron Man Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H vs. Chris Benoit (champion) Mike Chioda needs to separate both men before the bell. Then he actually goes over prematch instructions, announcing that there will be overtime in the event of a tie. FIRST FALL: Lockup, punch by Hunter on the break. Chop by Benoit in retaliation. Slap by Hunter. Hunter with a forearm and a knee, and Benoit backs off. A couple of forearms to the back as Benoit tries a single-leg. Headlock takedown, Benoit counters into a headscissors, and Hunter is out of it. Headlock by Benoit. Hunter tries to counter but gets taken down. Hunter out of it into a top wristlock, and Benoit bridges out of it and takes him down with an armdrag. Benoit goes for the Crippler Crossface, but Hunter rolls out of the ring. Back in. Side headlock by the champion. Throw-off, shoulderblock by Benoit. Kick by Hunter, and he wants the Pedigree, but Benoit avoids it. Waistlock takedown by Hunter. Benoit sits out and goes into a reverse chinlock. Into a side headlock. Off the ropes, shoulderblock. Benoit goes for the Crossface with 55:00 remaining, and again Hunter rolls to the outside. Back in. Knee to the midsection by the challenger, and Benoit gets dumped to the outside. Hunter out after him, and Benoit gets the best of a brawl until they both get back inside the ring. Takedown by Benoit, and he sits down on the leg and focuses on the knee...or more accurately, the formerly torn quadricep of Triple H. Dragon screw leg whip. Sitdown to the knee. Chop. Forearm smash with 52:16 remaining. Bodyslam. Kneeslam. Kicks to the knee. Corner whip, and the challenger lifts the boot. DDT. Turnbuckle smash. A series of punches to the head, and now Hunter focuses on the sternum that was bruised at Bad Blood. Benoit fights back with chops. Facebuster by Hunter, and he goes for the Pedigree, but Benoit counters and goes unsuccessfully for the Sharpshooter. He's not unsuccessful with the Crippler Crossface at the 10:00 mark, and he turns it into a modified Oklahoma roll at 10:15. Benoit 1, HHH 0. COMMERCIAL BREAK A little slower than I'm sure most of you were hoping for, but the nature of the beast with this type of match. Notice that JR and The King are calling the match straight, and notice how each man is picking on a previously injured body part. Exactly what needs to be done in this type of match. Or any type of match, really. Segment 7 SECOND FALL: Benoit with a chinlock with 46:19 remaining. Snap suplex for 2. Stomp. Forearms to the back. Back suplex for 2. Chops. Into an abdominal stretch, continuing to work the back. Hunter tries to break and finally hiptosses Benoit over the top rope, his back hitting the apron on the way down. Hunter follows him out to the floor. One shot to the back, then in and out to break the count. Back in, and a hard corner whip. Benoit is already bleeding from the mouth. Benoit reverses a corner whip but runs into Triple H's boot. Shoulderblocks in the corner. Uppercut. Benoit tries to reverse a corner whip, but Hunter blocks and kicks away. Backbreaker. Benoit again reverses the corner whip, and Hunter tumbles over the turnbuckle to the floor with less than 41:00 remaining. Tope suicida by Benoit, and both men are down. COMMERCIAL BREAK As much as I'd hate to say it since I'm enjoying it anyway, they need to consider picking the pace up a bit. They got away from the strategies they established in the first fall, the pace is still real slow, and they're losing the crowd. Even if they just settle on which body parts to work on, it would help at this stage. Segment 8 37:00 remaining, and both men are still down on the floor. During the break, Benoit reversed an Irish whip into the ringsteps. Back in, and Hunter avoids the Sharpshooter, and Benoit goes back to work on the knee. Legdrop to the leg, and Benoit goes into an Indian deathlock. Hunter's shoulders hit the mat for a near fall, then another near fall for each headbutt Benoit adds to the hold. Hunter with an eyerake, and Benoit is forced to break the hold. Kneebreaker. Figure-four leglock (on the wrong leg...dammit Benoit!). The shoulders fall to the mat for 2. Triple H reverses the hold, and Benoit gets to the ropes to force the break. Kick to the midsection. Ten punch count along (countered at six with an inverted atomic drop). A cover for 2 with 33:00 remaining. Benoit avoids a vertical suplex by landing behind the challenger, then goes into the rolling Germans. Benoit climbing up top, but Hunter avoids the Swan Dive Headbutt. A Dynamite Kid reference! Yes! A corner whip, and Benoit does the Bret Hart bump in the corner. Pedigree, pin at 28:52. Benoit 1, HHH 1. THIRD FALL: Benoit rolls to the outside for a Tastykake break. He tries to reenter the ring, but he's knocked off the apron by the challenger's knee. Hunter follows him outside, sets up the ringsteps, and he drops the champion chest first onto the steps with a front-layout suplex. Hunter back in, and Benoit is counted out at 31:09. HHH 2, Benoit 1. COMMERCIAL BREAK Well, the pace still hasn't picked up a whole lot, and it's not likely to at this point since they need to sell the fatigue of wrestling for so long. But the development here is that Triple H has now taken the lead, and Benoit has less than half an hour to pick up at least two falls on the challenger. The face being down late in the match is probably the easiest way to build drama for the conclusion of the match. Segment 9 FOURTH FALL: A chop by Benoit with 25:23 left, but Benoit again goes chest first into the corner. Hunter covers for 2. During the break, Benoit was suplexed on the ramp. Front-layout suplex for 2. Kick to the chest. Punch to the chest. Again. Benoit fighting back, but Hunter whips Benoit into the corner yet again and covers for 2. The poor turnbuckle might be hurting as much as Benoit at this point. Another corner whip, but this time Benoit gets the boot up with 23:00 remaining. Hunter whips Benoit chest first into the ropes and forearms him in the back. He tries it again, but Benoit fights back with a forearm smash. A series of chops, but Hunter reverses the whip and takes Benoit down with a spinebuster for the pin at 38:01. HHH 3, Benoit 1 COMMERCIAL BREAK OK, now I'm getting worried. The storytelling is back to a good level, with Triple H focusing on the chest he injured at Bad Blood (which also leads to Benoit struggling to breathe in the late portion of this match). But with time running down and Hunter up two falls, Benoit is in dire straits, and since the match can't end on a tie, so he needs three falls. Segment 10 FIFTH FALL: Benoit hiptosses out of an abdominal stretch with 18:28 remaining. Benoit with forearms, but a kick to the chest by Triple H stops the comeback. Pedigree attempt, but Benoit fighting it...and countering with a double-leg takedown, but not the Sharpshooter like he wanted. Another counter to the Pedigree, and another Sharpshooter attempt, and this time he locks it in. Hunter fights it (they've got the crowd back), but Benoit keeps Hunter from reaching the ropes. Another attempt to break, but Hunter's forced to tap out at 44:12. HHH 3, Benoit 2. SIXTH FALL: "You tapped out" chants. Hunter rolling out to the floor for a break. 15 minutes remaining. Hunter back in at 6, and Benoit knocks him back to the floor with a baseball slide. Benoit follows him to the floor and attacks from behind. Hunter tries to come back with knees, and both men back in...and right back out as Hunter tries to play the WWE version of the prevent defense. Back in, and Benoit runs into the boot. Hunter jumps off the middle turnbuckle...and right into the Crippler Crossface. Hunter reaches the ropes to force the break. Benoit goes right back to the Crossface, and Hunter taps out after 47:50. Benoit 3, HHH 3. SEVENTH FALL: And here come Batista and Ric Flair to the ring. COMMERCIAL BREAK Two quick falls for the champion to tie it up, but you just knew that we weren't getting out of here without outside interference. But notice that once Hunter's lead went down to one fall, he started trying to stall for time. And much like the prevent defense in football, it doesn't work for long, as Benoit is quickly able to tie the match up. Segment 11 A chop by the champion with 8:34 remaining. Benoit takes a tumble to the floor. Benoit with a shoulderblock as he returns to the apron, but Hunter levels him with a knee...and Batista levels him by way of the ringpost as Triple H distracts Mike Chioda. That busts Benoit wide open from the forehead. Batista rolls Benoit back into the ring, and Hunter covers for 2 with 6:30 left. Turnbuckle smash. A series of right hands. Corner whip, but Benoit avoids a clothesline and hits the rolling Germans. Hunter avoids the third one, and Mike Chioda gets bumped in the ensuing sequence of counters. Crossface, and Batista distracts Benoit. Flair brings in a chair, and Hunter levels Benoit with it. Benoit is out cold, but there's still no referee. Eric Bischoff sends Jack Doan to the ring, and Hunter does the multiple cover spot with Benoit continuing to kick out. 4:00 remaining, and Hunter levels Doan. I want the fucking bell rung right now! Batista and Flair come in to make it 3-on-1 with Bischoff looking on, and the crowd erupts, as Eugene makes his way through the crowd at the Mellon Arena. And he goes to work on all three members of Evolution. A stunner for Flair. Rock Bottom to Hunter. Dropkick to Batista. And a forearm smash to Uncle Eric to a huge pop. Hunter with the chair, but Eugene avoids it and knocks Hunter out with it himself. Off goes the jacket with two minutes remaining, and he heads outside. Oh, please remove the jacket from the ring... One minute remaining, and Benoit crawls on top of the challenger. Still no referee, although Eugene throws Chioda into the ring. 20 seconds left. The count.... ONE! TWO! THREE! The pin at 54:54. Benoit 4, HHH 3. EIGHTH FALL: Time expires with everybody down. Final Score: Chris Benoit 4, Triple H 3. ***1/4 Benoit comes to and sees Eugene on the ramp and smiles, and Eugene celebrates. And now that Benoit is somewhat conscious, he's celebrating as well. After a replay, Triple H comes to as Eugene taunts him, and Hunter does not look happy. END OF SHOW Give them credit for one well-timed finish, as they made sure they left enough time that there was no controversy about the clock, but not enough time to ruin the drama they were making. Unfortunately, the crowd reacted to little or nothing until the final ten minutes. Whether that's because they thought the match sucked, or they were waiting for the run-ins, or whether they'd been killed by the divas stuff, I don't know. As for the match itself, I was disappointed as a whole, simply because they couldn't decide what type of story to tell. The Benoit comeback was a given, but Benoit couldn't make him his mind which body part he wanted to work, and the pace just simply didn't pick up. Sadly, the run-ins should have hurt this match completely, but that's all the crowd responded to outside of Triple H's tapouts. Overall, this was clearly a one trick pony, so to speak. They were counting on this show being brought up by the main event, and while that certainly makes this more than a passable show, the old expression is "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." Well, unless the divas search counts as a second basket in McMahon-land, they broke that rule in ernest. Not saying I didn't like the show, because I did. But given the main event was disappointing in my eyes, that kind of makes the show as a whole disappointing. Peter's back on Thursday, and we switch shows again next week, so at least my month ends on a good note. Yours? Well, send some feedback and tell me about it. © Copyright by TheSmartMarks.com |