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TNA
The Royal Treatment: Smackdown (7.22.04)
Posted by Peter Kostka on Jul 22, 2004, 23:37
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I picked up ESPN NFL 2K5 this week, and I�m tossing around the idea of doing a review here on TSM. My quick thoughts: for only $20, you really can�t go wrong with this game. The animation has to be the most fluid I�ve seen in a sports game, the ESPN-centric presentation makes it feel like you are actually playing a game broadcast on ESPN, and the gameplay is very solid. Is it a �Madden killer�? I haven�t played this year�s version, so I can�t say, but it does look like that ESPN has entered a very good competitor into the fray.
Previously recorded in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
This week : JBL will offer a �Rocky Challenge� while John Cena faces Luther Reigns
Speaking of Luther, he wheels his boss Mr. Angle down the aisle, and helps him (assisted by a crutch) into the ring. After the events of last week, people have been calling him a liar and a con-artist, and that hurts him. He�s an extraordinary man that is capable of doing extraordinary things, like winning an Olympic gold medal with a broken neck. When he saw Eddie Guerrero about to regain the WWE title, he sucked it up, forgot about the pain, and did what he had to do. But his actions had a price; he further injured his knee and risked total paralysis, but �it was worth it.� He wanted to keep his vision of Smackdown alive, one where guys like John Cena get stripped of the US title and men like JBL become WWE champion. He could fire Eddie right now, but he�s not like that. Eddie can keep his job if he begs for it. He calls in ring announcer (and Philly boy) Tony Chimel. He was the ring announcer who, with a smile on his face, announced Eddie the winner at Wrestlemania. But Eddie cheated in that match, and cheaters never win, so that made Tony a liar and lying is grounds for dismissal. He makes Tony beg for his job, but fires him anyway, promising that Eddie will do the same tonight.
Thoughts: I never got why WWE didn�t let Kurt be the serious, pissed off heel instead of the goofy, easily fooled heel, since he pulls off the former much better. I think this is like the 5th time a ring announcer has gotten �fired� over the last 2 years, though.
Josh Matthews has taken Chimel�s place on the mic.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Jamie Noble vs. Spike Dudley (#1 contenders match for the Cruiserweight title)
Cole and Tazz note that Spike and Rey have become pretty good friends over the last few weeks. The heels jump on Spike to start, but Chavo accidentally clotheslines Noble, which allows Spike to take them both out. Chavo fights back, but Noble gets in his face about the clothesline, and they get into it, with Chavo getting the upper hand and hitting a dropkick for 2. Spike tries a victory roll on Chavo, but he counters by dropping Spike on his face. Noble tries a headscissors, but Chavo ejects him out of the ring and dives out after him on a whip from Spike. Not to be outclassed, Spike goes to the top and dives out onto the both of them. He rolls Chavo in for the cover, but Noble breaks it up. Chavo puts Spike on top and goes for a superplex, but Noble sneaks up from behind and takes Chavo down with an electric chair drop, but Spike uses the opportunity to double stomp a downed Noble, getting a 2 count. Noble comes back with a powerslam, but Chavo makes the save and hits a (sort of) exploder suplex on Noble, but Spike saves. Chavo goes for the Gory Bomb on Spike, but Noble kicks him in the face to break. Spike tries the Dudley Dog, but Noble pushes him off and goes for the Tiger Bomb, but Chavo breaks it up and falls to the Dudley Dog himself for the pin.
Rating: 6.5/10
Thoughts: Very well paced match with a lot of near falls and some highspots. I liked that they didn�t shy away from having Chavo and Noble mix it up instead of turning it into a quasi-2 on 1 match. Spike also looked pretty strong, using his smarts to take advantage of the heels not getting along well. Well done. It�s nice that they are FINALLY giving the cruisers some time each week.
- Clips of Smackdown�s recent trip to Japan.
- In the GM�s office, the SD Divas voice their frustrations to Mr. Angle. They feel that they have been overlooked and underused, and just want to make the fans happy. Angle agrees that they�ve been overlooked, so he books a fatal four-way lingerie match for tonight. I guess this was the viginette they taped two weeks ago but we didn�t see.
Buh Buh Ray (w/ D�Von) vs. Billy Kidman (w/Paul London)
Well, D�Von and London went at it last week, so it�s their partners� turn. They get into a shoving match to start, and Buh Buh backs Kidman to the corner, breaking cleanly and commending Billy for standing up for himself. He grabs a headlock and gets a knockdown, but Billy comes back with some armdrags and a rana. Billy meets a Buh Buh charge with a boot, but runs into a spinebuster and Buh Buh drops a Harley Race falling headbutt before getting a neckwrench. He pounds on Billy for a bit and goes for a clothesline, but Billy ducks and hits a dropkick for 2, followed by an enziguri. London hops onto the apron to get the ref�s attention for some reason while Kidman goes to the top, which allows D�Von to shove Billy off. London chases him off, but Buh Buh hits the Bomb for the pin.
Rating: 3/10
Thoughts: Billy�s gotta blame his partner for that one. It wasn�t really apparent WHY London distracted the ref, and just seemed like a plot device to allow D�Von to cheat and get to the finish of the match. On the plus side, this match was built better than London-D�Von last week since Billy actually looked like he had a chance to win instead of London�s �get pummeled for a bit and win on a fluke roll-up� approach.
- We get clips of the 1 on 3 match last week, which leads to Funaki, Smackdown�s #1 Announcer in Mr. Angle�s office, where Booker T joins them. Angle tells Booker that he�s everything he wants in a champion, so he wants to give Booker the US title. He can�t officially do it until he talks to the Board, but he�ll let Booker carry the belt around anyway. Funaki protests the fairness of the decision, so Angle tells him that he doesn�t see the fairness in a �broadcast journalist� not even being able to say the word and fires Funaki.
- The Dudleys celebrate Spike�s win and the fact that they will get a rematch for the tag titles next week. Buh Buh proposes that they won�t get involved in Spike�s title match next week if Spike won�t interfere in D�Von�s match tonight, to which Spike agrees immediately. Oh yeah, they forgot, D�Von�s facing Spike�s good friend Rey Mysterio.
- John Bradshaw Layfield comes out with handshakes for all the ringside fans, cleaning his hands after he gets into the ring. Experts called his match last week the greatest in history and the Friends and Fans of JBL group is growing every day. He takes jabs at all of Philly�s sports teams (but when he gets to the Flyers: �Hockey�s a Canadian sport, so I don�t watch it.�) He also mentions some of Philly�s most well known figures, including Rocky Balboa. So he�s come up with a challenge. He brings in some jobber who he says personifies the youth of Philadelphia (�truant, on some kind of drugs, and very poor�) and tells him that if he can pin JBL, he�ll get a title shot at Summerslam. That goes about as well as you think and a Clothesline from Hell later, JBL gets the pin. He�s disappointed that he doesn�t have an opponent, but there is no one worthy of facing him�..after which the lights go out, and the Undertaker makes his way out. JBL isn�t exactly thrilled to see him and tries to beg off, saying he�s already got a match at Summerslam with Shannon Moore (�girls like him, some guys like him, think of the buyrates!�). He gives Taker a chance to leave peacefully, but instead offers to leave and find him an opponent for Summerslam himself. JBL tries a cheapshot, but Taker slaps on the goozle and chokeslams him. He takes the mic and says �You�.me�.Summerslam.�
Thoughts: When I saw this in the spoilers, I thought it was kind of odd to put these two together for no reason, but they actually did a good job setting it up with having JBL�s big mouth get him into the situation. Granted, the match will probably blow horribly, but at least I like the setup. That isn�t really a compliment, is it?
- Another Heidenreich promo (at least, I think that�s his name, they didn�t repeat it enough). Apparently Paul Heyman has a vision for him. So do I: the unemployment line in a month *ba-dum ching*.
Torrie Wilson vs. Sable vs. Dawn Marie vs. Miss Jackie (fatal four-way lingerie match)
They disrobe, but Mr. Angle interrupts before we can get started. Apparently they misunderstood what he said. They aren�t overlooked, they�re useless (preach on, brother). No one wants to see them wrestle in lingerie. But he�ll save them the trouble of begging for their jobs; all four of them are fired. Torrie�s look of shock is very comical.
D�Von (w/ Buh Buh) vs. Rey Mysterio
D�Von dominates the first few minutes and gets a chinlock, shrugging off a Rey comeback and going for a back superplex, but Rey knocks him off and hits a sitting senton. Rey grabs the advantage, ducking a clothesline and hitting a springboard into an inverted DDT. Rey escapes a slam, but D�Von takes him down with a hard clothesline. He drags Rey to the apron and goes for a powerbomb, but Rey headscissors him back into the ring and sets up for the 619, but Buh Buh trips him, which brings out the tag champs. D�Von goes up, but Kidman exacts some justice by pushing him off and Rey hits the 619 followed by a springboard splash for the pin.
Rating: 1/10
Thoughts: I guess D�Von just does not want to sell for faces; this match is very similar to his match with London, and just as bad. Rey�s victory was at least more convinving.
- RAW Rebound. At least the Diva crap will let me fix a sandwich, feed the cat, wash my jeans, go to the store, and write three recaps without feeling like I�ve missed anything important. I�m also kind of leery about this Ironman match; the commercial breaks are just going to kill any meaningful flow for the home viewer. The live crowd should see a good show though.
John Cena vs. Luther Reigns
The newest piece of Cena merchandise? Word Life thundersticks. Won�t exactly be Shopzone�s biggest seller, I think. Cena�s back to the gay innuendo with his rap. This, of course, came to a head last week when Cena threw Luther through a wall and Luther fought back by helping Booker beat him in the 1 on 3 match.
Reigns controls to start and sends Cena to the outside, where he gets shoved into the post. Luther rolls him back in and gets 2. Cena tries a rally, but Luther stops it with a clothesline and a pretty double underhook suplex for another 2. We hit the chinlock, and Luther stops the rally again with a spinebuster, but Cena avoids a kneedrop and hits a shoulderblock and sidewalk slam for 2. Luther whips, but he runs into a boot and Cena hits a spinning back suplex and the 5 Knuckle Shuffle before pumping up. He goes for the FU, but Luther reverses the momentum and sends Cena into the ref. Cena hits a DDT as Booker T comes down. Cena plays the stupid face and goes after him, which allows Luther to jump him and hit a suplex. Booker wants a piece and goes for a beltshot, but Luther gets it instead and Cena gets the pin.
Rating: 2/10
Thoughts: A cookie cutter, paint-by-numbers, vanilla, insert your own synonym for �blah� here match. Cena just can�t work a good match right now, and sooner or later it will hurt him in the heat department as well when the fans get sick of his promos. Of course, putting him with Luther really didn�t help things, but at least he throws a good suplex.
Mr. Angle is in the ring on his crutch as he awaits Eddie�s arrival. But instead, Mr. McMahon power walks (seriously, he doesn�t walk like that in public, does he?) to the ring. Everyone thought Angle was finished, too injured to wrestle again, but it seems like he�s fooled everyone, including Mr. McMahon. �There�s an old saying: �It�s not nice to fool Mother Nature.� And it�s career suicide to fool Mr. McMahon.� He was going to receive a humanitarian award for having a handicapped person employed, but that�s out the window, so he asks Angle for his resignation as GM. Angle gets down on his knee and begs for his job, but Vince brings out the trusty �YOURRRRRRRE FIRRRRRRED!!!!� and kicks away Angle�s crutch, chasing him around the ring with it and showing that there is nothing wrong with him. Since he is, Vince puts him back on the active roster and announces that at Summerslam, it will be Kurt Angle���.vs. Eddie Guerrero. The crowd goes nuts as Eddie himself rolls down to the ring and Vince dances. He plays to the crowd and offers Vince a ride while Angle looks on as we fade to black.
Thoughts: This was a great blowoff to Angle�s reign as GM as the conniving heel gets his comeuppance. I still don�t know if a �safe� Angle will still be as entertaining as before, but I know that Angle will do his best to have a good match with Eddie. But Vince should not dance��..ever.
Final Thoughts: A thoroughly enjoyable show this week, as they kept the crap to a minimum and many of the matches and promos were pretty entertaining. I'd even put this above RAW for the week. If they can keep this up, and if RAW�s going to keep with the Diva search shit (which didn�t even get mentioned tonight outside of the little news ticker they have) over the next few weeks, SD may begin to get back on the same level with its older brother.
That�s it for me. Final SD of the month next week, see you then.
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