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From TheSmartMarks.com TNA - Previously recorded in Little Rock, Arkansas - JBL and Angle air out their differences, with JBL telling Angle to get control of his �Neanderthal and that metrosexual of yours�, and Angle retorts that he�s been winning championships �since you were a drunk at frat parties.�, and that JBL is one Anglelock away from being �just a goof in a cowboy hat� (Jim Ross?), and he will be the last man standing at the Royal Rumble. JBL calls him a liar (like Bill Clinton. They keep it up until The General Playah (wearing a pink jacket) heads out. He reminds them that yes; Big Show is STILL in the title match Sunday. Oh, and since Angle brought up being the last man standing, he makes just that type of match with Angle facing JBL tonight. - Clips from Stone Cold�s press conference. - Tonight: The match that was just announced, and John Cena defends the US title against Kenzo Suzuki. - We recap the buildup to the Casket Match between Undertaker and Heidenreich, and Cena makes his way to the ring. John Cena � vs. Kenzo Suzuki (w/Hiroko) (US Title match) Cena dominates to start, sending Kenzo to the outside and ramming him into the announce table (ripping off Rock by stealing Cole�s headset and doing commentary). He hits a fisherman�s suplex back in and chokes, and Kenzo pokes him in the eye to get him off. He hits a few chops, but that�s all the offense he gets for this one as Cena rallies, hits his usual moves, and finishes with the FU for the pin. Rating: 1/10 Thoughts: I saw this already two weeks ago. Like I said last week, this push might fly in the mid-card, but if they expect this to work in the main event scene, they are sorely mistaken. No one will buy Cena squashing guys like Angle or Guerrero (or if he goes to RAW, which would REALLY expose his deficiencies, Batista, Orton or HHH). And I think we�ve seen about the last of Kenzo here. Maybe they SHOULD have gone with the �bitter over WWII� character, since it works for Mohammed Hassan. - Cole asks Cena about the Rumble, and he channels the Rock some more by saying what happened to Kenzo will happen to guys like Benoit, Edge, Cole, Tony Chimmel, the popcorn guy, the cameraman, and the guy sitting in section 107, row 10, seat 7 (which turns out to be an ugly, chubby little kid). At least he didn�t unleash the gay jokes this time. - Eddie and Rey converse en Espanol in the locker room, and Booker points out that Eddie cost them the tag titles last week. Eddie admits that he screwed up, and proposes they all team up in the Rumble so he can main event Wrestlemania again. Rey and Booker point out to him that Eddie isn�t really trustworthy with these things. They each claim that they will go to �Mania. - Heidenreich comes out, and reads a poem about his predicament, spitting like Bill Cowher after Ben�s 3rd INT on Sunday. He ends up foaming at the mouth. - Angle knocks at Long�s door, but Long won�t let him in, saying that he can talk to him outside. Angle wants out of the match tonight because it�s unfair that Long put him in such a match so close to the PPV, but Long rightfully points out that it wasn�t that fair for Angle and JBL to try and take out Show last week, was it? Spike Dudley vs. Shannon Moore vs. Paul London vs. Funaki (Rumble qualifying match This is a �first fall wins� match. All four guys get two counts on each other to start and Spike pounds on London with Funaki sneaking up and getting a backslide for 2. Spike hits a suplex, but London breaks the pin and knees Spike in the face for 2. Spike blocks an enziguri and locks in a half crab, but Moore and Funaki break it up. Funaki and Spike take each other out with clotheslines and Moore heads up, but London cuts him off and follows, but Funaki pulls him off and dumps him. Spike headbutts Funaki in the gut and Moore finally comes off the top with a crappy looking flying neckbreaker on Spike, but Funaki makes the save, hitting an inverted tornado DDT, but London yanks him to the outside and goes up. Moore has the same idea and they end up trading punches on top, with London winning and sending Moore into Funaki before hitting a 450 splash on Spike for the pin and a spot in the Rumble. Rating: 5/10 Thoughts: Decent, entertaining spotfest, but nothing more. It�s nice that they are finally using the cruisers a bit more, but they have to give them more than 5 minutes to build something up (they don�t have to give them the time they gave Rey and Chavo last week, but at least 6-10 minutes would be good). This was good, but it probably would have been 10x better on Velocity. - JBL and Amy Weber walk to Long�s office and are met by Carlito and his petition, but JBL blows him off. Again, Long meets him outside the door, saying that he has a guest in his office, and JBL also tries to get out of the match tonight (with Carlito lurking in the background), only to eat door. Carlito approaches again, and this time JBL signs. Carlito revels in the coolness of having the WWE Champion�s signature on his petition. - Some of the �Divas� hang out in their dressing room and Amy walks in, asking all of them to sign Carlito�s petiton, since she is also going to ask Joy. They all dish on Joy (showing the acting range of your average porno actresses), and Joy herself walks in. She tosses her pink yogurt onto Amy and walks off. Her dry cleaner will never get THAT out. - Royal Rumble rundown, with JR and Lawler guest starring to run down the RAW side. Not a bad card for a Rumble, since the match itself is usually the main thing people buy it for anyway. Kurt Angle (w/ Jindrak & Reigns) vs. JBL (w/ the Cabinet) (Last Man Standing) Everyone argues in the ring, and we take a break. The match is in progress as we come back, with Angle schooling JBL on the mat. He grabs a headlock, which JBL escapes and gets a knockdown. Another knockdown from JBL, but Angle gets an armdrag and works the arm for a bit. JBL forearms himself free and catches Angle in a crossbody and hits a fall-away slam. He puts Angle on top and pounds him before hitting a superplex. The ref counts them both down, and JBL is up first, with Angle following at 9. JBL tries the Clothesline from NASDAQ, but Angle ducks it and gets the Anglelock. JBL taps, but it means nothing here. The Bashams break the hold, and Angle gets into it with them, drawing everyone else over and results in the ref tossing everyone but the men in the ring as we take another break. Coming back, JBL is in control on the outside, having suckered Angle in and yanking him out during the break. He tosses Angle over the announce table and tries to powerbomb him through it, but Angle counters with a backdrop and looks to Angle Slam JBL through it, but JBL escapes and shoves Angle into the post. He rams Angle into the steps and again into the post, and the ref begins the count, but Angle is up at 9 again. Back in, JBL clotheslines him in the corner, but Angle escapes a second one and hits eight rolling Germans, but JBL is up at 9. Angle jumps on his back and takes him down with a sleeper/bodyscissors combo. The ref checks JBL�s arm, and it drops three times, forcing the ref to demand Angle break the hold so he can count. JBL gets up at 8 and Angle grabs a front facelock, but JBL breaks it by slamming Angle to the mat, putting them both down. Both guys get up at 7 and JBL hits a powerbomb, but Angle, to JBL�s dismay, gets up at 9. He sends Angle hard into the corner twice and tries the big boot, but Angle slides under it and hits the Angle Slam, but JBL manages to pick himself up at 9. Angle tries another German, but JBL hangs onto the ropes, elbowing Angle off him and hitting the Clothesline from NASDAQ, and they both are out again. JBL gets up at 8, and Angle follows a 9. An exasperated JBL boots Angle down and goes for a chair. He swings, but Angle ducks and hits a German. Angle readies the chair and charges, but JBL boots it back in his face. Angle, on a reflex, cracks JBL with it as he falls and both guys are down for the 10 count, resulting in a draw. We cut to Long watching the match on TV, and he thanks the person in the room for giving him this idea. Naturally, that person is the Big Show. Show throws it right back in their faces by saying �I love when a plan comes together� and promises victory on Sunday. His music plays as we fade to black. Rating: 7/10 Thoughts: A very nice back and forth match, a type of match that fit the styles of these two very well. JBL�s slow, power offense was a good compliment to Angle�s submission-style approach. They�ve actually built this match up reasonably well, with all three guys having a good enough shot at winning. I�d still have not done the kidnapping angle, but that�s why I�m not working there. Final Thoughts: Another winner this week, with three decent-good matches with a lot less useless backstage crap (which usually pollutes the second hour) than usual. JHawk�s pulling double duty next week, as the Road to Wrestlemania kicks into full gear, so I�ll see you next Monday. 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