Raw from JHawk's Beak (5/26/2003)
By Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
May 26, 2003, 21:38

Raw from JHawk's Beak (5/26/2003)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins

We have a lot to cover before we ever get started tonight, so let's get right to it.

E-Mail of the Week: Patrick sent me this one, which got us into a mini-debate pretty much all week long.

J-Hawk, my name is Patrick and I E-mailed you before about the WWE product and you answered my mail in your RAW review a few months ago. I'm sorry that it took me this long to respond back to you, but I've been extremely busy lately. (I forgot to include by name before so I'm including it now) Mine was the long mail about wrestling vs. entertainment and a critique of your theory of "x:xx amount of wrestling required". I will get to my main topic later, but I want to get something of my chest first. I have to question your answer to my mail in your RAW review where you said that "the fans of in-ring wrestling" are the "only ones that will buy tickets when business is down". You are assuming that the entertainment fans aren't devoted, die hard fans that will be loyal to the product As I stated in my previous e-mail I watched for the larger than life characters and the talking/Charismatic guys and I bought almost every PPV from 1994-1996, which was a period where business was down (REALLY down). In 1995 I attended two house shows live and there was not even a thousand people in attendance for either of them. I supported the product when business was down and I wasn't a true fan of workrate/in ring wrestling. So it is possible that entertainment fans can be loyal customers, I'm proof of that. Once again I think you were extrapolating and speaking as if you represent the majority of wrestling fans. I hope you remember my mail so you can reply to this.

My main topic is about a message I left on the Wrestling Observer Comment Board. After reading your reviews over the past several months and our previous mini-debate over the business, I'd like to get your opinion on the message I left. As I said to Bryan Alvarez, this is not really a criticism of smart marks, it's just an observation. The crux of the topic is: Can Smart wrestling fans really enjoy a product presented by Vince McMahon? Here is the message I left. If you could respond to the same questions I asked Bryan Alvarez at the end of the message:

"Bryan, has the "smart" wrestling fan ever truly praised or enjoyed the WWE? Because in each era of the WWE, smarks have ripped the product to shreds. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, it's just an observation. In the 80s, during the boom period with money rolling in, smarks HATED the product. Dave Meltzer even said in that 20th Anniversary of the Observer interview that it was somewhat difficult for him to cover the WWF product objectively because he really was not a fan of that type of wrestling. Even when Hogan was drawing huge money, he was ripped by smart marks. So even though the WWF was popular, smarks hated it. The NWA was "real" wrestling, not "cartoon" crap. Even when Bret and Shawn were on top, smarks still did not like the product, except for some great matches with Flair, Hennig, Shawn, Bret, etc. The "stiffs" like Warlord, Undertaker, Barbarian and the like were the ones Vince really cared about. I don't think I have to illustrate the hate for the product during the "New Generation Era", so I'll move to the "Attitude Era". The Attitude Era was absolutely ripped apart by smarts. Vince Russo was Adolph Hitler and was ruining wrestling forever. "There was only 15 minutes of wrestling on a WRESTLING show!!!" was said on every message board and web site every Tuesday morning. The Rock was a "terrible worker" who didn't "deserve" the push he got. The Rock would eventually be exposed as a bad worker and the fans would turn on him. He only knew 4 moves and he was a "garbage" wrestler. Bryan, the Rock is one of the biggest stars in wrestling history and I read comments like this every day in 1998 and 1999. According to smarts, 2000 had some great matches with Benoit, Guerrero, Jericho and their ilk but they weren't pushed as "top stars" and the main events with HHH, Rock, and Austin were "mindless brawls with no real work going on" Now during the Attitude Era ratings and buyrates were at all time highs, and yet smarts still did not like the product. As far as the Invasion and the last couple of years, I don't have to point out all the criticism of the product. But seriously, has the WWE run by Vince McMahon ever been liked by the majority of smart fans? Is it possible with Vince's Entertainment 1st, workrate 231st attitude, for the WWE and smarts to have an amiable relationship? Have most smart fans ever truly enjoyed the WWE's product since Vince took over in 1983?"

As I told Patrick, my problem with the WWF and the current WWE was always that it's capable of being both a wrestling company and an entertainment company, but it chooses the latter over the former rather than being both. But he does raise an interesting question. No matter what type of business WWE (or wrestling in general) is doing, there is always a lot of criticism about WWE's product, save for 2000, where I remember little criticism from January through September (minus the King of the Ring, one of the most poorly-booked shows ever). So this is where I want to hear from you. Most of you reading this are probably "smart fans", so have you ever liked WWE? If so, when and why? If not, why not? E-mail me your thoughts and I'll print some of the best ones either in a separate column this week or in my first full-time SmackDown! recap next week.

Forums Quote of the Week: Heel is a meanie head. Face takes offense. They fight. -Anglesault on how to book a midcard feud

Plugs, plugs, and more plugs: Thanks to all of you who commented on my Today in Wrestling History this past Friday for Slamboree 93. For those who asked, I didn't cover Owen Hart's tragic death because I have never seen Over the Edge 1999 and really have no interest whatsoever in finding a copy. Retro Rob, however, did a terrific review of the following night's Raw is Owen broadcast that you can check out.

Also, for those of you who missed it, I attended a Heartland Wrestling Association show last night and did one of my usual on-site reports, so check that out. And as always, Brandon has another shoot interview review up, this one with Bill Alfonso.

As far as future recaps go. Those of you who have been asking for ROH Road to the Title (and you know who you are), I'm going to start working on that on Thursday during any free moment I have and hope to have that up this weekend. But I am also attending another indy show this weekend, and that on-site will likely be up on Sunday, so it could be next week before I get that up. Just a little fair warning, but I am working on it.

The Women in Wrestling debate: Nik Johnson did a terrific article on Women in Wrestling the other day for those of you who missed it, but I have to respond to his comment that Stacy Keibler isn't all that hot. I am not trying to start a feud with Nik, but being the Stacy mark I am, I want to give my thoughts on why I find her hot.

First off, I'm a leg man, and she has by far the best legs in the entire business. Bar none. And then there's that incredible ass, which is the equal or better of any ass in the industry. And she has that really cute face that makes her look innocent even though you know she's not really that innocent. OK, her breasts aren't exactly what most of you want to look at, but as skinny as she is, they wouldn't look proportional if they were much bigger than that.

But the thing that makes her hotter than she probably would be: attainability. This is a woman who was fucking David Flair on a regular basis, for chrissakes! If she's letting David Flair hit that, I know damn well that I would have a reasonable shot if I were around her for any length of time at all!

That being said, Nik and I agree on one thing. She can't do anything to benefit the wrestling business except sit there and look pretty, so she better be damn thankful she started out as a Nitro Girl and managed to get a following from that. I love you, Stacy, but I'd be hypocritical to say anything other than that.

Tonight: It's my last Raw ever (minus any weeks that Patrick Spoon and I switch for any reason), and it looks to be another sports entertainment heavy edition of Raw. Goldberg will be the special guest on Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel, we'll build toward the death of Hell in a Cell as a viable match, and once again, we won't actually announce any matches prior to the show going on the air. Can they blow me away for my last-ever Raw? Will the final HHHater Clock stay under 20 minutes? Will Eric Bischoff get to stop acting like Scott Hall? Let's find out!

Segment 1

Open to a brilliantly done recap of last week's Ric Flair-HHH saga, centered solely on Flair (and complete with vintage footage)!

Live in Mobile, Alabama, and we're opening with the Holy Bible Kid making his way to the ring! And he introduces the greatest World Champion of all time, The Man WHOO! Interesting. For 18 years, HBK has waited for the opportunity to tell Flair that he is everything that is great and wonderful about this business. Because of Flair, being good was never good enough. Flair said he was the measuring stick, Shawn took it to heart, and he tried to reach the level Flair reached on a nightly basis. There was a time where he felt like he reached that level, but after what he saw last week, Flair was, is, and always will be the greatest wrestler in the world today. Huge pop by everyone except Bret Hart. And Shawn has to know where he stands in that standard. "Because you are the man to me, Ric. You will always be the man." So tonight, he wants HBK vs. the Nature Boy. That would be a hell of a way for me to go out on. Flair thanks Shawn for reminding him who to be last week, but he passed the torch to him three months ago. Shawn took wrestling to a whole new level. So tonight, that match will happen...but here comes Hungry Hungry Hippos to interrupt because someone not named Paul Levesque is being put over. And sure enough, Hunter claims he's the one who told Flair to be the Nature Boy again (by being Hunter's lackey). And here we are, six months later, and HHH wants to be the first one to say "Ric Flair is back". But tell him that after everything they've been through, "you're not going to turn your back on me. Please tell me you're going to turn around and bite the hand that feeds you." Flair tells him he's the greatest wrestler alive today since he's got the belt (boos from the crowd), but it was Shawn who reminded him who he is, "and that's Ric Flair, and not some subserivent jerk strapping the belt around your waist." HHH: "Listen to me, you old bastard!" Hunter's the one who picked him up and made him what he is today. The sad thing is, Hunter actually thinks this is a shoot. And Flair does not want to run up against him, and the window of opportunity is closing. "Do NOT make me make this decision for you." Out comes Easy E. Last week, Austin took advantage of Bisch being hungover to come out on Raw and throw his weight around. So this week, it's Eric's turn. And he sees three of the biggest egos in the history of this industry. He's got a point. He loves the idea of HBK vs. Flair, but it's way too big for Mobile, Alabama. So instead, it's HBK vs. Flair at "Eric Bischoff presents Bad Blood". They're trying to force a high buyrate here. And just to prove that Austin isn't the only one who can make matches that everyone wants to see, it will be HBK and Flair vs. Triple H in a handicap match. Um... OK? Flair and Michaels shake hands, and Hunter is pissed...and I don't like the sound of this...

Don't forget the Highlight Reel tonight! Plus, Stone Cold's Memorial Day celebration!


HHHater Clock: One segment, 7:46. Leave it to WWE to screw up a good thing, because you know damn well that Flair is going back to being Hunter's bitch at the end of that one. A shame too, as they were feeling it during that segment until the announcement of the handicap match. I don't see any good coming out of that one.

Segment 2

Your hosts are Good Ol' JR and The Pharaoh, who discuss the match made for tonight. Log in right now to to vote on whether Goldberg will spear Jericho during the Highlight Reel. Hmm, lemme think...

One fall: Booker T vs. Test (w/My Future Wife)

At Bad Blood, Booker T gets his Intercontinental Title shot against Christian. Stacy has agreed to manage Test and Steiner individually since they can't get along. They're going for the Mega Powers and Elizabeth here, and it ain't working. Test with some punches for Booker T. Booker fighting back with chops. Leg lariat. More chops. Corner whip, reversal, Booker with a clothesline for 2. Test knocks Booker to the floor. A quick shot to the guardrail, and back in they go. A series of elbows in the corner. Boot choke. Booker back with punches, but gets met with a clothesline for 2. Into a reverse chinlock as the crowd tries to rally behind Booker. Booker fights out with elbows, but can't gain an advantage until he hits a leg lariat. Flying forearm. Clothesline. Vertical suplex for 2. Knee to the midsection. Test avoids a Scissor Kick, but not a leg lariat, and it's a SPINNAROONIE! SPINNAROONIE TONY! Test goes for the pumphandle slam, but Booker lands on the apron, hits Test, and connects with a missile dropkick for 2. Test charges Booker and gets backdropped over the top rope. Baseball slide, but Test pulls Stacy into it! YOU BASTARD! Sorry. Test smiles about it as he reenters the ring. Pumphandle slam to Booker for 2. Out hobbles Big Poppa Steroid Pump to check on Stacy, which distracts Test long enough to allow Booker to Scissor Kick Test for the pin at 5:20. *1/2 Steiner carries Stacy to the back as Test looks at Steiner like "No you didn't!"

Cold Stones Steve Austin (w/black eye) says Booker T is finally coming around, and in comes HHH to ask what happened to Austin's face. He slipped on a bar of soap, apparently. Hunter tells Austin he's done a great job as co-GM, which is a thankless job. Austin: "I thank you, but the match is still on." More ass-kissing, but still no cancellation of the match. (Did Eric ever agree to this match in the first place? 50-50 and all that.) Even more ass-kissing, and this segment is dying. Finally Hunter gets pissed, claiming that Austin always wanted to be like Triple H. Um...I'd say "no" to that since Austin actually drew money on his own and not by working with Mick Foley and The Rock for an entire year. The match is still on, for the fourth fucking time!


HHHater Clock: Two segments, 10:54. Cut that bit in half and it works well.

As for the match itself, it was actually kind of decent considering Test was in it, but here we have Booker T, getting ready for an Intercontinental Title shot in three weeks, and he takes a back seat to Test and Scott Steiner fighting over Stacy Keibler. This isn't 1989, and more importantly, those two guys aren't Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan. Shouldn't the bulk of the focus go into the title match?

Segment 3

Trish the Cheating Bitch is back, but so is her shitty theme music from Hell. She's at the broadcast booth, and she's on the cover of Flare magazine.

One fall: Steven Richards (w/Victoria but no intro) vs. Val Venis

Val has the stick! The Big Valbowski is starting his own adult film company. And Victoria is offered the first a XXX Platinum Chick in "Victoria's Dirty Little Secret". Richards doesn't like that and attacks. Choke against the ropes. Series of stomps. Snap mare into a reverse chinlock. Let's hype the fucking website during a match! Val elbows out, but eats forearm. Val back with elbows. Backdrop. Whip, reversal, short knees by Val. Power bomb for 2.75. Richards comes back with a DDT for 2. Richards runs into a spinebuster slam, and Val heads to the top rope...Money Shot, pin at 2:27. 1/2* Can we at least pretend Stevie has a reason to be on the roster?

Later tonight, a handicap match! Can't go one segment without mentioning Hunter, can we?


Can somebody explain to me what the point of Trish being out there was? Presumably she was supposed to build heat toward her next match with Victoria, but with Lawler spending more time hitting on her than paying attention to the match, it became a nothing appearance. And to top it off, the match got no time to mean anything except filler.

Segment 4

Live in Mobile, Alabama, and members of the armed forces are sitting front row! Memorial Day in the US, after all! Now let's hype Hell in a Cell at Bad Blood, as we can't go one segment without mentioning Hunter. And don't forget to check out Matt Ditaliano's article on the impending death of Hell in a Cell.

Coach is with Big Lazy Cool, who says Hunter's world is unraveling. As far as Hunter's match tonight, he hopes he gets his ass kicked. God, this was boring as hell!

Someone Feed Terri is with ChrisTIAN, who meets Goldust in a non-title match. He doesn't want to talk about his $700 haircut. "Why did they name this town after a gas station?" He has a match to prepare for, but here comes South Park's Jimmy. "Why are you such a d[BEEP BEEP BEEP] dictator?" Christian says people like Goldust and Booker aren't championship material (it's not racist because Dustin's white!), and in comes Booker to say he's taking the title in his hometown.

Austin and Bischoff are discussing Bad Blood. Austin agrees to HBK vs. Flair, but they disagree on who presents Bad Blood. And Bad Blood is available for free to military personnel with a valid I.D. Bisch wants to know why Austin wants to compete with him. Bisch wants to compete with Austin as co-GM, and Austin thinks that means a match, but Bisch thinks otherwise. He'll think of something, but they're on. Anyway, it's Memorial Day, so Austin's going to toast the members of the Armed Forces, Lillian Garcia is singing the National Anthem, and we have another non-wrestling segment coming up.


Could somebody tell the censors at TNN that if you bleep out Goldust's stuttering, then there's no point to Goldust's gimmick? Well, there's no point to the Tourette's gimmick anyway, but that's a common sense thing.

Rah. Austin vs. Bischoff in...something that isn't wrestling. Just when the undercard was starting to look promising enough to be worth a look too.

Remember when we all said that maybe Nash couldn't wrestle, but at least he was entertaining? Well, if he can't bother to wake up for an interview, why should I care he's on the roster?

Segment 5

Mention the handicap match for the obligatory HHH mention this segment.

Lillian Garcia sings "America the Beautiful". But before she can finish, La Resistance interrupts it. This hasn't worked since the mid-80s, guys! They can't take anymore of this, because there's nothing beautiful when all they see is fat and ugly Americans! We stick our noses in other countries' businesses, you know. We're not civilized like the French. You know, I went to a gun show and saw a French assault rifle. Never been used. And no, that's not sarcasm. Here comes Austin, who throws Sylvan Grenier over the top rope and takes Rene Dupree out with a Stone Cold Stunner. Austin grabs the mic. "Before you leave, parlez vous Francais this (middle finger), you son of a bitch!" Austin then praises the military for allowing him the freedom to be Stone Cold and drink a lot of beer (and draw a lot of "what" chants). Austin then calls Lillian back to the ring for a little surprise. Austin can't sing worth a damn, but he wants to do a duet on "America the Beautiful", and the crowd's welcome to sing along. "Please join in, I need all the damn help I can get." If this leads to an Austin-Bischoff singing contest... What do the Canadians think of this bit? Beer drinking time...chug, Lillian, chug! Austin runs around shaking hands with the front row.

Ric Flair is warming up backstage...and when he leaves, someone wearing a ski mask with a build remarkably like Triple H's peeks in.


I'm all for a show of patriotism on Memorial Day guys, but you're forgetting that Canadians get this show live as well, although knowing TSN they probably cut to the crowd when Lillian started drinking the beer. This probably would have been better served as a dark segment to warm the crowd up.

Who is that masked man? Does anybody care? I know I don't.

Segment 6

A promo for...somebody. That was odd.

Non-title Match scheduled for one fall: ChrisTIAN (Intercontinental Champion) vs. South Park's Jimmy

Lillian seems unaffected by all that alcohol. Christian refuses to hand over the belt, even after the bell. Christian with a lot of punches early to earn the main event money, but Goldust kicks him off and hits a bulldog for 2. Christian ducks a charging Goldust, who tumbles to the floor. Back in, and there's a chokehold. More punches. Snap mare into a chinlock. JR: "If Christian spent $700 on that haircut, I'd like to sell him some beachfront property in central Oklahoma." Goldust gets an inverted atomic drop and does his own punching, getting a two count off the uppercut. Curtain call, but Christian floats behind and into an inverted DDT for 2. Christian attempts a squisher (tm Kevin Nash), but Goldust moves. Ten punch count along, and the referee prevents Goldust from getting Shattered Dreams. Boot by Christian, but he runs into a powerslam for the pin at 4:06. * Christian's still the champion, but he's cradling the title like Golem clutching the ring or something.

The Highlight Reel still to come.


Now the Intercontinental Champion looks so strong that he can't get a win over somebody who hasn't had a singles match in months. Wow, that makes me look forward to that Intercontinental Title match at Bad Blood. My God...well, I guess that had Goldust not gotten the win, we'd be complaining that it should have been a title match or something, so that was a Catch-22, really.

Segment 7

Five Minute White Boy Challenge: Back Rodney Mack (w/Peanuthead) vs. Amercian Dream Bubba Ray Dudley

Spike lasted 4:59 last week, so Mack gets his half-brother. Bubba gets some slaps to the chest early, but here comes the Mack. Bubba gets a sunset flip for 2. Mack with a chop for 2. Reverse chinlock. 4:00 remain as JR wishes Freddie Blassie well since he's in the hospital. Bubba gets Mack down and elbows him for 2. Belly-to-back suplex for 2. Reverse neckbreaker for 2. 3:00 remain. Bubba Bomb for 1, even though the ref counted to 2.5 anyway. In comes Christopher Nowinski from behind, who uses the nose guard to KO Bubba. The Black Out gets the win at 2:30. 3/4* D-Von Dudley runs out to make the save.

This is your last chance to vote for the Goldberg spear thingie. Results next!

La Resistance is bitching to Bischoff about Austin's "uncalled for" attack. Rene's not capable of competing tonight, but what if Sylvan Grenier meets Rob Van Dam in a flag match? And a World Tag Team Title shot is on the line.


When the broadcasters don't get the outside interference, then it probably wasn't all that good an idea. I actually like where the match was going until that point though.

So will WWE have a French flag get raised in an American arena on Memorial Day? Or is the real question "Will they do it and not get a riot on their hands?"

Segment 8

"Headstrong" by Trapt is the official theme song of Bad Blood.

Y2J+3 is getting his makeup on for the Highlight Reel. Let's recap how Jericho got stooged off as the mastermind of the attempted vehicular homicide.

81% of you think Jericho gets speared tonight.

Flair is putting his robe on, and here comes Hunter from behind him. Hunter says he's changed, and Flair says he's not some piece of crap Hunter picked up off the street. "We all get old, but so very few of us get great!"


HHHater Clock: Three segments, 11:39.

The fact that nearly everybody thinks Jericho is getting speared tonight pretty much shows you how predictable this show is getting.

Segment 9

One fall Flag Match for a shot at the World Tag Team Championship: Rob.................Van.................Dam (w/Kane) vs. Sylvan Grenier (w/Rene Dupree)

Wrestling sequence to start. Headscissors, RVD kicks out, and each man wants to go for the their flag but are on the wrong side. RVD avoids a German suplex, but not a clothesline, as both men fall to the floor. RVD drapes Grenier over the guardrail, and there's the corkscrew legdrop over the guardrail. RVD in and after his flag, but Grenier stops him. RVD gets a spinning leg lariat and a Rolling Thunder. Outside, Dupree cheaps shot Kane, which gets RVD after him, and that allows Grenier to reach for his flag. RVD prevents it, but not for long. Grenier climbs up for his flag, but RVD dropkicks him to the fllor. But Dupree interferes to prevent RVD from going after the flag. Grenier climbs up, RVD kicks him down. Up top, but Grenier avoids a somersault and down goes the referee. RVD up again, and he has his flag, but since there was a fucking ref bump, Dupree gets to attack, there's the double team, and in comes Kane to even the odds. Kane gets hit in the throat with a flagpole, Dupree put the flag back on the ringpost, there's the "flapjack", and the referee wakes up just in time to see Grenier grab his flag at 5:19. Who didn't see that fucking finish coming? Overbooked mess. 1/2*

There's Goldberg's locker room. The Highlight Reel is next.


Why have these stipulation matches if there's going to be a ref bump every single time they have one? Battle royals, flag could have a "first one to die loses" match, and it would end in a draw because the referee slept through the first death. And for the life of me, I can't figure out who the hell this is actually supposed to help. La Resistance doesn't look credible because of the screwjob, and it sure as hell doesn't help Kane and RVD.

Segment 10

Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel!

Doesn't this segment traditionally rate fairly lowly when the Neilsens come out? Jericho is going to prove the Highlight Reel is the hottest segment around, and the guest next week is The Rock. But tonight, his guest is Goldberg. Why did Jericho order him to be run down last week? Well, he's sending a message to him. They were friends in WCW, and Jericho helped him out, but everytime Goldberg got bigger, so did his ego. And Jericho didn't like that, because Goldberg got bigger and bigger even though Jericho was better. And when Jericho went for that match, he wasn't a big enough name, so he came to WWE, where he became on of the biggest stars in company history, becoming the first Undisputed Champion and the best showman ever. But the one thing he hasn't done is beat Goldberg, so he's issued the challenge for Bad Blood. Because these two people have more bad blood than any other two men in the business. Here comes Goldberg to charge the ring. Jericho immediately rolls to the floor. Goldberg asks Jericho if he's ever heard the expression "Be careful what you wish for", because it's on. But all that stuff he was talking about earlier about their friendship. It took a long time for Goldberg to figure out that Jericho "ain't nothing but an ass." Jericho tells Goldberg to get the hell out of the ring before he gets beaten out of it...and Goldberg hiptosses him into the ring. But Jericho sprays mace into Goldberg's eyes! AND JERICHO SPEARS GOLDBERG! He runs like hell, proving 81% of the voters wrong!

Handicap Match is next!


Fucking cool, man! Even I wouldn't have seen that coming before the segment started. Great use of their WCW history to set that up, and a great finish. That is sports entertainment at its finest there!

Segment 11

During the break, Terri asks Jericho why the hell he's running. Are you really that stupid, Terri?

Handicap Match scheduled for one fall: Hungry Hungry Hippos (World Heavyweight Champion) vs. Holy Bible Kid and The Man WHOO!

So who's turning on the Flair-Michaels side tonight? I say Flair because it makes sense, but this is WWE, so who the hell knows? Kevin Nash is watching on a monitor. Michaels starts, so Hunter jumps him from behind. Michaels fights back with some clotheslines, and he does the Flair strut! Hunter pounds away at Shawn, but Shawn gets the Thesz press with punches. Hunter with a facebuster. Flair roots for Shawn...yeah, uh huh. Uh oh, Ric's wearing red. He's losing tonight. Corner whip, Shawn goes upside down, Hunter sets up the Pedigree, but Shawn avoids it with the backdrop...and gets in Sweet Chin Music! God, this is going to be shorter than hell. Tag to Flair, who punches Shawn. Ho hum. Like I couldn't see that coming. Punching away (JR: "What in the name of Ric Flair is going on?"), and we cut backstage to the masked man (Randy Orton, I'd bet) laying out Nash with a chair. In the ring, Hunter pins Michaels with a Pedigree in 3:11 (Flair's legal, but what the hell). 1/2* Two-on-one mugging now, and Nash no-sells a chair beating 30 seconds later to make the save...WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT OF THE CHAIR SHOT IF HE'S MAKING THE SAVE ANYWAY? The masked man runs out, and Hunter gets a chair shot in, and that one will actually keep Nash down. 3-on-2 beatdown, and sure enough, we unmask Randy Orton. Flair puts the Figure-Four on Shawn, Hunter keeps hitting Nash with a chair, and can we end this fucking show NOW?


Thank you. Thank you for ending that show when you did, and thank you for completely ruining last week's really good angle with this bullshit. I mean, the full Flair face turn is right there, and the crowd's practically begging for it, and now you're back to where you were two weeks ago. Thank you very much for proving to the world that it doesn't matter what we see, because a week later it means jack and shit to the continuity of the product.

HHHater Clock: Four segments, 19:40 of face time (3:11 of it wrestling), but bear in mind that he was mentioned in some capacity in 10 out of 11 segments despite very few people giving a shit about his match with Nash at Bad Blood. I'm glad I don't have to recap this damn show anymore, because I am so tired of this boring fucker being on my TV that I'm ready to sell the damn thing.

OK, there was some good with this show, and amazingly enough it was the sports entertainment stuff. The opening segment was good, and the Highlight Reel was some really good stuff with some history being the basis for the feud. It's also nice to see Orton back, even if he's stuck with Hunter.

But there was a LOT of bad. The stupid ending to the flag match, the interference that means nothing, the total pissing away of last week's show, and Nash not willing to sell a sneak attack that was supposed to prevent the very save that he made. When Test is in your best match of the night, there is much more wrong with the show than anybody really wants to admit to.

Thumbs way the fuck down, and hopefully moving to SmackDown next week will prevent me from sitting through garbage like this again.

Until then, send me your thoughts.

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