by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins

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King of the Ring ON-SITE from JHawk's Beak
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins

Yes, yours truly made the three hour trip down to Columbus, Ohio for WWE King of the Ring, and I actually bothered to wake up before noon to give you the inside story.

Now, I'm not going to bore you with inconsequential details about the drive or the pre-show meal (although check out Buca di Beppo across from the Nationwide Arena if you're looking for Italian), and I'm not going to give a blow-by-blow of every match when that is already available, but I will give match-by-match accounts of what worked, what didn't, and what may or may not have been on camera. My goal is merely to provide an alternative perspective of the show that you're not going to get from someone watching at home on pay-per-view, and not to give a full recap. Bear in mind that I'm writing this having not seen the TV feed (although somebody did tape it for me) and not having read any recaps of the show, so I'll apologize for any repeat info.

Before the show: For the record, those of you who always consider hitting the wrestler's entrance before the show in hopes of getting autographs are probably out of luck. We did see some of the guys come in (mostly people who weren't on camera--Booker T, Arn Anderson, Tajiri, Justin Credible, Faarooq, Bradshaw, and The Big Show, to name a few), but if they arrive while the crowds out there, they usually park inside the loading docks and out of view, so even getting pictures is a stretch a lot of the time. Justin Credible was getting a kick out of the three people who started an ECW chant as he got out of his rental car, and Booker T got into spinnaroonie pose when he saw the crowd, but other than that, it was more like a fan convention.

Prior to the doors opening, a group of three guys were standing outside in complete Hurricane garb, right down to their capes and their green hair. They were actually posing for pictures from some of the fans who were also waiting. We also had a group of people coming up with new versions of Austin 3:16, most of them involving wife beating. I didn't say everybody at the arena was cool.

They opened the doors at about 6:40, but only so the sign police could do their inspection. Yes, they've gotten so anal that they're checking signs before they even let you through. After a 30 second delay to search mine for "anything derogatory" (that is sooooooooo vague), it's time to wait in another line for five minutes before they actually start taking tickets and letting people sit down.

When did they start the practice of not showing Heat in the arena for the crowd? The only reason we were even aware Heat had started is because the area for Coach and D'Lo Brown was about two sections over and straight back, and we could see the red light on the cameras. Several D'Lo chants went out throughout the night, and D'Lo finally gave the crowd his "You'd Better Recognize" head bob to a nice pop.

Show Time! Howard Finkel came out at 7:30 to warn us about throwing objects, taking money for pictures, and using those annoying laser pens, then tells us we're moments away from our "bonus match". Can't you just tell us it's airing on Heat and be done with it?

Once J.R. and the King make their appearance, it's time for the Heat main event--Raven and Steven Richards vs. Jeff Hardy. You could tell this was going to be a fun crowd, as the women squealed when the Hardys came out, and the bulk of the men were rooting Raven and Stevie. It should be noted that the referee clearly completed the three count after the Stevenkick to a solid amount of boos (and me screaming so loudly that I got a lot of funny looks). For the record, I don't know why we're apparently going to build to a Raven-Stevie feud that wasn't very good for the first two times, but maybe they'll surprise me.

Onto the pay-per-view itself, and the match that was definitely worth the price of admission, Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho. Aside from the slow wrestling sequence, this match had everything you could have asked for. Great high spots and a hot crowd made this one of the best matches I've ever seen live. Nothing I can say here could accurately describe it, so I'll let the match speak for itself. However, for the life of me I don't know what RVD said in the postmatch interview, as some idiot forgot to turn the house mic on for it. If RVD didn't do the thumb pointing thing, he was done. Killer crowd heat for Jericho after the match, as his attack even had the Jericho supporters booing. THAT'S a good heel!

Want proof that Brock Lesnar isn't ready for the main event yet? Only about half the crowd even gave a damn about his match with Test, and half of those were actually cheering for Test. And yes, "Goldberg" chants aplenty. He's not rid of that stigma, and he probably isn't going to be anytime soon. No idea how this came off on TV, but it was actually much better than expected.

Onto the Cruiserweight Title Match, and here's what may or may not have made the air. Early in the match, the crowd started an incredible "She's a crack whore" chant that started in one of the sections of her side of the ring and caught on quick. There was also a mild but substantial "Holy shit" chant following the top rope neckbreaker. The guy next to me tried to start a "stupid bitch" chant when Nidia grabbed the Hurricane's cape, but nothing doing. One thought on the finish though. Was Hurricane's hand underneath the bottom rope? It appeared that way from my seat. Just curious.

Eddy Guerrero's promo was way too long. I'm sorry, but he spent so much time saying hello to his cousins that I used all three years of my Spanish classes to come up with just about every word I knew to make fun of him. The match against Flair was met with a mostly dead crowd before Bubba Ray Dudley's run-in, but I enjoyed it. A great old school match with a lot of psychology. Everything Eddy does is so crisp that even when he does make a mistake you can barely notice. People in my section were actually talking about psychology within a wrestling match during this one.

Was anybody trying during the Women's Title Match? That looked really sloppy. There were at least two occasions that the referee stopped his count so he wouldn't make the three count prematurely. It should be noted that two attempts to start a "She's a Fatass" chant failed. Good! Nice to see Molly take the title, although the live crowd didn't seem to care.

Kurt Angle made Hulk Hogan tap! By God, I never thought I would ever see Hogan job to Angle, much less put him over clean by submission! I am still in shock. I am also still in shock that outside of Rocky and possibly RVD, Hogan got the loudest pop of the night. This crowd was so pro-Hogan that everytime people tried to start a "Kurt Angle" chant, the Hogan chants immediately came out and drowned them out. I can't say this was all that good a match, but it was great for atmosphere, and Hogan even bumped for Angle a bit.

At this point, the crowd was pretty much drained, and it showed during the King of the Ring finals. The RVD chants died out quickly, and Brock is simply too new for most people to have gained a reaction one way or the other. Once Brock kicked out after Heyman's interference, the finish was telegraphed and what portion of the crowd was still into the match and died out quickly.

Was I the only one calling Undertaker joining the NWO after they ran into Triple H? I know I wasn't the only one into the Rock-Goldust-Booker sketch. Most of the arena was either laughing or popping.

Anyway, main event time, and WCW production glitches rear their ugly head for a second time, as Triple H's music and video stop suddenly so the Titantron can show The Rock's face, and then the music started where it had left off while Hunter's video started over. No idea whether my "Hunter Fears the Midcard!!!" made the air...oh well. This match sucked. There is no other way to say it, this match sucked. It only became entertaining at all after the ref bump, and that was only because of The Rock's presence. How many moves did Triple H screw up? Seriously, anybody else would have been fired by the time I got home last night! The spinebuster especially looked awful, although the botched Pedigree actually looked pretty vicious. The less said about the rest of the match, the better.

Still with me? Good. There's more!

JHawk's Brush With Greatness: Every once in a while, it pays to get lost. We accidentally got into the wrong lane leaving the arena and ended up having a hell of a time finding the way back to Interstate 71. We finally get back where we need to be and decide to top off the gas tank and grab a couple of Cokes for the road. We're about ready to leave, and who should stop by the gas station but Dustin Runnels and 2002 King of the Ring Brock Lesnar! So my friend John grabs the camera, and we ask Dustin if we can take a picture. He goes, "So you're starting to like me now?" I told him I've liked him for a while, and he goes "Oh yeah, right!" So Dustin takes the pictures and excuses himself to relieve himself. The only problem is there is no restroom at the gas station, so he goes behind the building. All we could see was part of one leg sticking out from behind the building. Thank God we didn't see anymore of Dustin than that.

When he returns to the car, Brock is still in the minimart buying beer. "Dammit, Brock, where is your King of the Ring winning ass?" While waiting for Brock, we ask if they're going straight up to Cleveland for Raw. "We sure are," said Dustin. "Booker and I have a little something special planned for tomorrow night." So who knows what the hell that is going to be, but hell, inside information from the man himself. Brock comes out carrying two six packs of beer, and a snack pack of Doritos. Yes, a guy that size with a snack pack of Doritos. He was gracious enough to pose for some pictures, and then we exchanged thank yous and took off.

So let's review. Multiple Hurricanes, sign police, WCW tendencies, a chance meeting with two of the WWE superstars, and a possible Raw spoiler. Who cares if the show was any good or not? I thought the show was really good, and that's a huge bonus, but it would have been a fun day even if it had totally sucked.

Catch you later on with Raw.

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