by The Dames

---

NWA:TNA Week 15

Wow, its been a week already? Man, it’s nice to be able to watch this from home. After the pain and agony that I suffered this past weekend as a loyal Yankee fan, if I didn’t do something to take my mind off of things, I might as well have picked up a sniper rifle and gone to Anaheim...or Boston for the hell of it. I’ll be fine though, but our bullpen needs to watch out.

Oh, I’m getting depressed just thinking about it, so lets just get started on the recap, shall we?

This week on TNA: Hermie Sadler is back, Chris Rock is going to be filming a scene for a movie tonight and there’s PROBABLY going to be some sort of wrestling too.

We start off the usual manner, with West and Tenay welcoming us to the TNA Asylum. TNA’s production woes continue as they get Don West’s name right in the graphic but suddenly, Mike Tenay is now Ed Ferrara despite being with the company for several weeks. West immediately begins the hyperbole for tonight, hyping Chris Rock as “the funniest man in America”. Hell, if that were true, Pootie Tang wouldn’t have been a total waste of film. Approximately three heart attacks later, West finishes up the rundown for the card tonight and we go to footage from last week where a masked man dressed in a white sweathood and pants attacked The Truth. The video quality of last weeks footage is pretty piss poor though. After it’s over, we cut back to the announce team as West whispers to a female crew member and is obviously not paying attention to the camera at all.

Looks like we’re going to start off with a match....but instead The NWA World Champion, The Truth is out. Man, his music is the best in TNA, bar none. He comes to the ring and grabs THE STICK~! He gets some cheap heat to start, before calling out “Team Derelicts”. According to Da Truth, Team Derelict is comprised of “Ho-Pac” and James. The “Overrated” chants start up again as Killings thinks he’s put two and two together, stating that the man who attacked him last week is the mystery man in the 6 man tag tonight. The Truth then takes exception to SOMETHING about Don West, like everyone should and calls out “baseball card man”. Ha! West grows a pair and basically says “NO POBO” to The Truth, calling HIM on his hypocrisy. He asks for a video clip of last week to demonstrate that Truth thinks that it’s OK to jump people from behind, but when it happens to him, he’s whines like Anakin Skywalker. The Truth claims that West just disrespected him.....but doesn’t do anything about it. He just went down a notch in my book. You’re a heel man! Act like one! I hate West anyway, take him out!

He then calls out “Team Derelicts” before BG James comes to the top of the ramp, spouting off rhymes for no apparent reason and then basically stating the same thing that West did. Oh, Syxx-Pac is out now as well. BG tells the Truth that “we don’t live in a perfect world....or do we?” That brings out the mystery partner for tonight, Mr. F’n Perfect, Curt Hennig! He grabs THE STICK~! and the first thing out of his mouth is that he was “hired to do a job”. See, at least he’s honest. Syxx-Pac says something insignificant and the three guys start walking down the ramp, before getting jumped by Jeff Jarrett and Brian Lawler. Everyone in the ring now and the faces go all Martha Stewart on everyone and clean house. BG James tells them not to waste any time....let’s start the 6-man tag right now!

BG James, Syxx-Pac, Curt Hennig vs. Jeff Jarrett, The Truth and Brian Lawler:

Match Background: Last week, after BG James and Syxx-Pac defeated Jarrett and Lawler, they were jumped post-match by JJ, The Truth, Lawler and Elix Skipper.

The Match: Curt Hennig and Jeff Jarrett to start out, as Tenay runs down Hennig’s credentials, including his two week stint in the Horsemen. He takes down Jarrett and uses the POWER OF PERFECTION~! to push Truth and Lawler off the apron. As JJ takes over, Tenay also runs down Hennig’s time as Ric Flair’s Executive Consultant and Triple H’s manager. West: “That’s why you’re the professor. Nobody else can come up with that on the spur of the moment like you”. West, if you watched wrestling at all in the past 10 years, anyone could have told you that. JJ gets nailed in the corner by James and ‘Pac allowing Hennig to get in his Rolling Neck Snap! He heads over to the heel corner and once again uses the brute power and force of PERFECTION~! to push both buys off the apron with one hand. Lawler takes exception to it, throwing soda at Hennig. Lawler and ‘Pac in the ring now with Lawler getting the advantage after a powerslam. The Truth in the ring now and misses a twisting legdrop off the 2nd rope, selling the back like Val Venis. BG James in with the Champ now, hitting the Juke and Jive punches as Tenay runs their history as a tag team in WWE. Truth splits to duck a clothesline and hits a scissors kick, which he always performs by adding a nice little twist at the end. West: “He is one of the most impressive wrestlers I’ve ever seen. He’s got the physique, the look, the determination....not to mention the skills”. BG is finally able to make a tag after a few minutes of being worked over and Syxx-pac comes in and hits two spinning heel kicks on Jeff Jarrett. Bronco Buster attempt is foiled by a foot in the crotch. That would pretty much foil anything. The Truth tags in and does a little dance before getting a two count. Running powerslam complete with heelish PELVIC THRUST to the crowd! Heel it UP, cousin! JJ and Lawler work over ‘Pac as the ref is busy with Hennig. The Truth with The True Conviction on ‘Pac, but his foot is on the rope. Lawler in now with the extremely entertaining chinlock as the crowd chants “Jerry’s Kid”. ‘Pac comes back with a sit out powerbomb on Lawler. Hennig in finally and he is a HOUSE EN FUEGO~! BG James and Jarrett end up fighting their way to the back, leaving it as a straight up tag. A low blow by Lawler sets up the Hip Hop Drop on Hennig, but he’s saved by ‘Pac. The Truth in with ‘Pac now but he EATS the X-Factor. I don’t know if it was the camera angle or what, but that X-Factor actually looked like a credible finisher for once. Ref goes for the cover, but is pulled out by Lawler who then decks him. As Lawler and ‘Pac end up brawling around ringside...that masked man from last week is out again (meaning its not Hennig) and hits a sit out powerbomb. On the back of his sweathood, it reads Mr. Wrestling III. Hennig then hits the Hennig-Plex for the pin.

My Opinion: The work was solid, if uneventful. It looks like Hennig will be the next challenger for the Truth and that’s alright with me. **

In the back, Goldy finds BG James unconscious and Jeff Jarrett limping...but she only bothers to ask BG what happened. It looks like Jarrett hit BG with a pipe.

Normally, I don’t ever mention the TNA dancers, but this one is barely moving and I just find that amusing. Ahh....they go to another girl and that’s more like it.

Recap of last week’s AJ Styles/Jerry Lynn ladder match, in cut clips and in black and white. This kind of stuff makes you really appreciate WWE’s production values a lot more.

Lynn comes to the ring, accompanied by the WORST music in TNA. He doesn’t have the title with him as its suspended above the ring for the ladder match. He calls out Siaki for his interference in the past three weeks and challenges Siaki to a match for next week. This prompts Siaki to make his presence known, at the top of the ramp, as well. He channels ’98 heel Rock poorly as he tells Lynn to come get him now. Lynn accepts. Man, I smell a trap. They brawl on the ramp with neither man getting a clear cut advantage until Siaki tosses Lynn off the stage and into the guardrail. It seems as if Lynn’s leg is caught in the guardrail up to his knee as he is SCREAMING in pain. Tenay brings up Lynn’s past history with his bad knee and shows concern that he may not be able to compete tonight. West: “I have to see something like this....especially with the crowd paying”. THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why Don West is the second worst wrestling announcer today. Tenay keeps stressing that Lynn said “Not again”, which is a tell tale sign that its a work. However, to confirm....REWIND~! Yep, Lynn’s leg didn’t land in the guardrail, the camera cut away as he placed it in there. West and Tenay speculate as to what the title situation will be tonight.

We cut away to an interview earlier where Syxx-Pac (wearing a mesh shirt ala Christian or the Hardy Boyz) apologized to Low-Ki for his comments last week, even going as far as calling him his favorite wrestler in TNA. Low-Ki was about to respond before AJ Styles interrupts, telling ‘Pac that HE should be his favorite wrestler because he does things that ‘Pac couldn’t do in his prime. I never saw too much of the Lightning Kid, so I can’t corroborate. Looks like they’re building to Styles vs. ‘Pac vs. Low-Ki. Kind of odd to see a guy who’s wrestled as a heel for so long (‘Pac) actually make what seemed to be a heartfelt apology for some heelish comments, but I guess that’s what you gotta do to make him a face.


The SAT’s vs. Storm and Harris for the NWA Tag Team Titles:

Match Background: The SAT earned this shot at Storm and Harris for the Tag Titles by defeating The Flying Elvises, Yang and Estrada, last week. This is their first ever shot at the belts.

The Match: As Storm and Harris come to the ring, Tenay brags at the fact that they are undefeated. Can someone explain to me how they didn’t win the tag titles in the first tournament then? Some running of the ropes by Storm and Joel Maximo to start, until a Maximo clothesline is turned into a Fujiwara armbar. Joel rolls through it and Storm turns it into a cross armbreaker. Joel positions himself into a pinfall attempt, allowing Storm, to let the arm go. Joel goes for a clothesline again...and AGAIN gets a Fujiwara armbar! I’m feeling this already. Joel gets to the ropes to escape and completely no sells the arm, that bastard. He hits an enziguiri, landing on the arm...and nothing, no selling whatsoever. Dropkick to the knee by Joel, then puts on an UGLY figure four. Tenay, sympathizing with the poor Maximo brother, just calls it a submission hold. Storm hits a ‘rana, but gets a missile dropkick from Jose. Harris runs into the ring and MURDERS Jose with a spear! Jose gets a shoulder tackle onto Harris and goes up top for a moonsault...but gets pushed off the top and out of the ring! Lucky for Jose, he landed on the tub of flesh that is his brother, Joel, taking them both down in the process. Harris comes over with a pescado on Jose! Bulldog in the ring by Harris sets up a moonsault attempt, but gets crotched by the fatter Maximo. Now tagged in, it looks like Jose goes for a splash mountain attempt from that position, but it ends up looking more like a 360 face plant. Whatever it was, it was UGLY. Storm goes for what looked to have been a try at the Stratusfaction bulldog, but Joel places him on top of the ropes instead, holding him in a neckbreaker position. Jose comes off the top, MOONSAULTING onto Storm in that position as Joel finishes the neckbreaker! DAMN! “TNA” chant and rightfully so! Now that’s a move I’ve never seen the SAT’s do before. Jose comes in now and Storm comes back at him with a move that can only be described as a tilt-a-whirl Death Valley Driver into a neckbreaker. Where the hell did THAT come from? Harris in now (I’ve been confusing them the whole time, but trust me, I’ve corrected it for the Diatribe), with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. Jose ends up getting a tornado DDT on Harris, setting up the lukewarm tag to Joel. MAXIMO LARIAT by Joel (one of the only two moves I like out of Joel that he does), followed by an ugly dropkick. Snap powerslam gets a two. Belly to back suplex sets up a nice moonsault by Joel for two..and color me impressed. Storm tries to come in with a superkick, but its blocked. Joel tries a crossbody off the second rope and THEN EATS THE SUPERKICK BY STORM FOR 2 and 9/10ths!! Jose gets him with a suplex and goes up top, but is intercepted by Harris. Joel stops Harris and Jose comes off the top with a guillotine legdrop for two! Harris comes in and catches Jose in a crossbody attempt.....turning it into the Catatonic! He goes for the pin....but gets pulled out by Joel. He takes care of the portly one and heads up top....where he gets crotched by Joel. SAT’s attempts the SPANISH FLY~! but Storm dropkicks Joel out of the ring before they could get it off! Both men with Jose now....double hiptoss....turned into a double somersaulting powerbomb for the pin to retain the gold!

My Opinion: So far, this was the best match I’ve seen out of Storm and Harris and the SAT’s (in TNA for that matter). Both teams showed some new innovative maneuvers as well. Everyone worked hard, but the selling of the submission holds in the earlier portion of the match was nonexistent. **1/4.

That dancer who’s barely moving is only shown from the chest up for some reason....I wonder.

Goldilocks is in the ring now and she introduces Chris Rock to the biggest pop in TNA history! Isn’t that kinda sad? Chris Rock: “NWA:TNA is the best wrestling in the whole world.” He obviously doesn’t watch much wrestling. Then....he leaves. Well, at least they kept it short and no one cut a promo on him.

Low-Ki vs. Ace Steele vs. Kid Kash vs. Tony Mamaluke in a 4-way IronMan Match with a 15 min. time limit.

Match Background: Low-Ki is trying to climb up the ranks of the X Division ladder after a few defeats. Ace Steele hasn’t ever wrestled in TNA. Kid Kash has been involved in a few tag matches. Tony Mamaluke hasn’t wrestled in TNA since Week Three.

The Match: Ace Steele is introduced next to last. He resembled a shorter Edge with short hair...and he has this INTENSE~! look on his face. Low-Ki is out last....and it seems that TNA has FINALLY gotten the hint as to you how you spell his name. As the match begins, the men pair off with Ki and Steele on one side, Mamaluke and Kash on the other. Mortimer Plumtree comes down to the announce table to discuss why he’s been scouting all of the X Division wrestlers in TNA. Weird spot as Low-Ki is basically passed around until he’s able to get a head scissors on Kash. All four men armdrag each other in another odd looking, contrived sequence. Low-Ki tilt-a-whirls Ace Steele, but Steele turns it into an abdominal stretch in another spot that just didn’t click well. Tony puts on an ab stretch on Steele at the same time and both men are dropkicked by Kash. Kash hits a ‘rana on both ‘Ki and Mamaluke, climbs to the top and tries a ‘rana on Steele, but Steele blows the spot and almost breaks his freakin’ neck! A kick to the midsection of Kash by Low-Ki leads to the 3-KICK COMBO~!!! The third kick is interrupted by Tony Mamaluke, however, with a dropkick that sends ‘Ki to the outside. Steele throws a clothesline that looks like Mamaluke was ducking, but he takes the bump anyway. As Steele and ‘Ki exchange chops on the outside, Kash comes flying over with a springboard plancha! Mamaluke hits a plancha on all 3 men on the outside as well. COOL spot as Low-Ki and Kash springboard at each other and double clothesline each other IN MIDAIR and THAT gets a replay. Mamaluke comes off the top onto Kash with a KILLER guillotine legdrop at the same time as Steele lands a Vader splash on Low-Ki for a double pin. Both Steele and Mamaluke have one win. As we come back from the replay of the double pin, we get the 3-KICK COMBO~!!! in all its glory....but joined in progress. Mamaluke attempts a Tornado DDT on ‘Ki, but is shoved off, into the awaiting arms of Ace Steele who gives him a belly to belly for two. “Low-Ki” chant. Kash gets a pumphandle body slam on Mamaluke as Steele and ‘Ki brawl in the corner. Steele is “choking” ‘Ki in the corner with his boot, but it looks absolutely pathetic as Steele has ZERO expression on his face as if he isn’t exerting any energy at all. So far, Ace Steele has shown me NOTHING. As Low-Ki UNLEASHES some vicious chops onto the useless Steele, Kash puts Mamaluke in a Fisherman’s Buster position and drops to his knees for a pinfall. This leaves everyone but Low-Ki with one victory. “Low-Ki” chant. Low-Ki hits the Tidal Crush (cartwheel kick in the corner) on Steele before attempting the ‘Ki Krusher but it’s blocked! ‘Ki springboards onto Steele....but Steele seems to blow the spot before ‘Ki turns it into a hanging armbreaker (Six Second Magic for you THQ No Mercy fans) for the tap out! It’s now tied four ways with six and a half minutes left. Kid Kash bodyslams Mamaluke OFF the announce table onto the floor, landing shoulder first....and Mamaluke just starts SCREAMING in pain and holding his arm. The replay shows that it was a truly vicious bump. In an Irish whip sequence, Low-Ki leapfrogs over Steele and begins to sell the ankle big time. Steele takes ‘Ki by the ankle and gives him a dragon screw. He begins working on the ankle (although he landed on the knee) . Mamaluke gets powerbombed by Kash for two. Steele is once again, working on the knee. It’s the ankle, stupid. There is way too much stalling. Elevated crab by Kash onto Mamaluke, but Steele dropkicks Kash off. Once again, as the time runs down, there is WAY too much stalling. With one minute remaining, Steele is working on ‘Ki’s leg again. Mamaluke scores with a Russian leg sweep OFF the apron onto the guardrail. ‘Ki has the Bite of the Dragon on Steele, but has to break the hold due to the fact that he’s on the ropes. As the time expires, ‘Ki suplexes Steele back into the ring, but Mortimer Plumtree holds ‘Ki’s leg down allowing Steele to get the pinfall. The finish was VERY badly blown as the time expired before the referee started his count. Even Tenay had to admit that the clock had run out. It’s then made clear to everyone that Mortimer Plumtree has associated himself with Ace Steele.

My Opinion: Wow, I didn’t think this match would be this bad. The first 5 minutes was just a MESS. It was VERY disjointed and dragged at many times. Ace Steele shouldn’t have gotten the chance to be on TV, let alone get the victory in this match. He is plain old TERRIBLE in the ring. The finish was done poorly and with everything factored in, this was probably the worst X Division match yet. Low-Ki was the best worker of the four, with Kash behind him, and Steele trailing behind the ref in terms of workrate. *3/4

Don West welcomes NASCAR driver Hermie Sadler back to NWA:TNA. as he will be representing them at the next race. He says that you can watch it on TNN.....err....TNT. I guess the lure of CSI: First Season commercials must have gotten to him. In the middle of his little rant....”PUSH” comes through the speakers to torture me. It is the most recognizable music in TNA, the music of Miss TNA, Bruce. He comes out to ask Sadler if he wants to be a wrestler or a race car driver. Before Sadler can respond in kind, Jeff Jarrett comes out, bitching about his skills as a race car driver. Sadler responds to Bruce and Jarrett, telling him that he respects The Truth, due to their past confrontations, but he doesn’t respect them. Bruce and Jarrett come into the ring and beat on Sadler, only to be saved by BG James.

Maybe it’s me, but I just don’t get it. What was the point of that? If it was to promote BG James vs. Jarrett, you had the segment earlier. You didn’t need that. And Bruce...ugh. Get off my TV. Please.

Ron Harris & Sonny Siaki vs. Chris Michaels and Rick Michaels in a Number One Contenders match for the NWA:TNA Tag Team Titles

Match Background: This is Chris Michaels and Rick Michaels first time in NWA:TNA. Harris and Siaki have never tagged before.

The Match: Seriously, how putrid must the tag division be when Ron Harris gets two title shots in a row with two different tag partners and the following week, he’s in a number one contender’s match with someone he’s never teamed with. Chris and Rick Michaels have never even been in a match in TNA and they get a number one contender’s match? Chris and Rick aren’t related, btw. Rick Michaels (who trained AJ Styles)looks like a slim trim Hugh Morris. Harris and Siaki ambush them to start and it settles into Siaki vs. Rick. Don West, without seeing Rick or Chris EVER BEFORE, claims that they aren’t in the same league as Ron Harris and Sonny Siaki. Why do they let this man announce? He is an EMBARRASSMENT. Siaki hits his somersault neckbreaker on Rick as Tenay runs down his NWA Wildside credentials. Tenay says that Chris Michaels was trained by Tracy Smothers in a manner as if we’re supposed to care. Most fans, outside of ECW fans, don’t know who Smothers is! Missile dropkick by Chris onto Ron Harris. Siaki gets some heat from the fans as he nails Rick with some quick uppercut punches. Follows that up with a nice superkick for two. Now about three minutes into the match, West says “I’m sure that Michaels and Michaels will do whatever they can, but just look at Harris and Siaki.” Rick then hits Siaki with a face buster which flows into a neckbreaker! West: “Well, I take back what I just said! Michaels is putting on a show right there!” So, one cool move is putting on a show and completely refutes your arguments? See why you can’t take West seriously? Chris tries to take advantage of a downed Siaki but Harris pulls him out of the ring and throws him into the rail. Siaki then hits a nice overhead belly to belly on the floor. Harris in the ring now, unveiling the POWER OF SUCKTITUDE~! West: “He wants to be known as the baddest man in tag team wrestling”. Well, he already is the worst. Siaki now in, Chris gets a flying forearm and makes a tag to Rick. Two single leg dropkicks by Rick before Siaki hits the Samoan Pop (Bodyslam into modified Ace Crusher) for what looks to be the pin. However, Harris pulls Siaki off and tells him to pick him up and hold him. Michaels moves, allowing Harris to kick Siaki in the face and the Michaels get the pin!

After the match, Harris tries to put the blame on Siaki and they begin to brawl with Siaki getting the better of Harris. Don Harris, Ron’s brother, comes in and throws Siaki out of the ring. West is confused because the Harris brothers went toe to toe last week. “I thought we were going to have a Brother match”. That just gave me visions of a Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage match for the right to use the word “brother”, which of course, Hogan would win.

My Opinion: I’m not going to judge Chris and Rick Michaels on that performance because that was just a glorified squash with a fluke ending for the most part. Hopefully next week, they’ll be able to show me something against Storm and Harris. There’s too many Harris’ in wrestling. *

Bill Behrens of the NWA Committee, states that Jerry Lynn will not be able to wrestle tonight. When he does come back from the injury, he’ll get an X Title match when he wants. Because it is a PPV, the title will be on the line tonight as AJ Styles will take on the winner of the 4-way, Ace Steele, in a ladder match. Oh Jesus. Low-Ki takes great exception to this and comes down to dispute this decision, stating that he turned down $200,000 for Plumtree’s services and he didn’t need his help to win a match. Ace Steele and Mortimer Plumtree come down after hearing this and Plumtree isn’t pleased. He says he never offered Low-Ki anything and calls him a “scrawny, little, prepubescent, pimply puss pugilistic punk, Yule Breener looking piece of rodent excrement”. Damn. He then talks about how ‘Ki made an ass out of himself when he tried to pick a fight with Tammy Sytch (as various dirtsheets have reported) and ‘Ki takes exception to this. After taking a shot at the ‘net reporters, ‘Ki calls Plumtree a nerd...which catches on with a “nerd” chant by the audience. Bullet Bob Armstrong comes out to lay down the law, claiming that a match will take place between ‘Ki and Steele RIGHT NOW to determine who faces Styles for the X title tonight.

Low-Ki vs. Ace Steele:

Match Background: The first time they met in TNA was in the 4-way match earlier tonight when Plumtree cost ‘Ki the match. AREN’T YOU PAYING ATTENTION!?

The Match: The match starts with Steele going right after the leg, hitting some knee drops and going for a single leg crab. ‘Ki is fighting for all that he’s got and finally gets a rope break and stands on the apron. Plumtree clips ‘Ki with a chair, causing a count out. Both Behrens and Armstrong come down and tell the referee about the interference who then reverses the decision.

My Opinion: This match was WAY too short for anything of significance to happen. If Steele had won, I would have been MIGHTY upset.

This then leads to Bullet Bob stating that tonight’s ladder match is a free for all. Any X-Division wrestler in the back can participate. The SAT’s, Kid Kash, Tony Mamaluke, Ace Steele and AJ Styles are in it. Low-Ki is too injured to participate.

Main Event Ladder Match for the X Division Title:

Match Background: If you need this, you retain less information than Guy Pierce in Memento.

The Match: AJ Styles is the only person to get his own entrance....and he’s the only wrestler who hasn’t wrestled tonight already. All 6 men begin to brawl and as it slows down, the SAT’s both get ladders from under the ring. Mamaluke goes to meet them, but he gets sandwiched by the ladders. Kash and Steele dropkick both ladders back into the SAT’s. AJ Styles hits the Shooting Styles Press (Springboard Shooting Star) on the men on the outside! Back in the ring, Joel misses the MAXIMO LARIAT and AJ gets his quebrada/reverse DDT move. He dropkicks a leaping Jose Maximo (but he barely touched him) and gives Kash a brainbuster. That’s right....AJ STYLES IS A HOUSE EN FUEGO~! He goes to the outside and picks a fight with Ace Steele. Good. As he sets up the ladder in the ring, Mamaluke runs under the ladder and spears AJ. Mamaluke climbs the ladder, but Joel Maximo dropkicks the ladder. Once again, the dropkick barely grazed the ladder and Mamaluke basically jumps off the ladder. After the bump, he rolls around SCREAMING in pain, clutching his arm. I don’t know if he’s just selling (if he is, he’s damn good at it) or if he’s legit hurt. Steele tries to suplex AJ onto a folded ladder behind him, but its blocked and then reversed into a face front suplex by Styles. Steele barely takes the bump. Styles NAILS him with a kick..and he no sells it. Kash jumps over the top rope and onto Joel with a ‘rana on the floor. Ace takes a ladder and rams it into Styles. Ace then props the ladder in the corner, hangs him up in a Tree of Woe of sorts and then hits a dropkick to the chest. Kash rides a ladder down onto AJ. Kash hangs Joel in the ladder upside down, just like AJ was earlier. Styles DASHES across the ring with a folded up ladder, sandwiching Joel and leaving him in the middle of two ladders in the corner. Kash and AJ then take Jose Maximo and double powerbomb him into that SAME corner, squishing Joel caught in the middle. Ow. Mamaluke German suplexes AJ onto his HEAD. Steele tries to go off the top, but Kash catches him and gives him a super body slam off the top. There’s a LOT of garbagy brawling in between these spots. Kash climbs the ladder, but gets pushed off. Kash ends up back at the very top of the ladder....and instead of going for the title, moonsaults onto Steele instead. Why would you do that? Styles attempts a suicide dive onto the SAT’s on the outside, but ala Benoit/Jericho from Rumble ’01, he gets a face full of ladder! Steele rams the ladder onto Mamaluke’s arm who once again starts SCREAMING like the cook in the original Sleepaway Camp film. If his arm is really hurt....Steele is just a moron for that. Kash goes up top....so do the SAT’s and it looks like a SPANISH FLY~! attempt off the ladder, but Styles, on the other side of the ladder knocks one of them down. Kash takes the Jose and DDT’s him off the ladder, Jose ends up taking more of a back bump off of it. Mamaluke goes up the ladder now, but Joel and Kash try to double powerbomb him off. The ladder topples over and they just let Mamaluke fall to the ground. This match has been INCREDIBLY sloppy. Styles almost at the top now, but he’s knocked off and falls into the ref. Amazingly, the ref perseveres through the pain and isn’t KO’ed! Kash with a plancha to the outside on Jose Maximo. Joel Maximo and AJ Styles battle on the top of the ladder.....but AJ ends up riding the ladder down ONTO JOEL’S MIDSECTION! Ace and Mamaluke are on the top of the ladder....but Kash dropkicks the ladder from underneath them! Kash goes up top....but get caught by the Maximo’s. Jose performs SPANISH FLY~! onto Kash all by himself! Styles with the MURDERDEATHKILL Powerbomb off the top of the ladder onto Ace Steele! The whiplash on that move was AMAZING! Mamaluke and AJ both crash down off the ladders. Kash gets pushed off the ladder and lands on the ropes, so he’s down. Styles press slams Mamaluke to the floor! SUPER BRAINBUSTER by AJ on Kash! All alone in the ring now, AJ climbs the ladder and has the X title in hand but Syxx-Pac comes down and backdrop suplexes him off of the ladder! OH FUCK YOU! Syxx-Pac sets the ladder back up and wins the damn X title, despite not even being in the match!

My Opinion: Oh how an ending can sour me. Here you have 5 guys plus Ace Steele busting their ass to make this match great and out comes Syxx-Pac to take the title, despite not being in the match, not taking ONE bump and without ever wrestling ONE MATCH IN THE X DIVISION! Great, the X Division has just gone to shit.

The match itself was quite sloppy at points, but you can’t deny that most of those guys busted their ass out there to make sure that the fans went home happy. I was going to rate this match lower, but upon second review, I feel comfortable giving this match **1/4.

Overall: I never thought I would be down on the X Division. I don’t know if it’s due to politics or what, but the circumstances in which Syxx-Pac won the title really devalued it in my eyes. As for Ace Steele, this is his first show and he’s made an immediate impact....despite showing ZERO reasons for receiving the spot he was put in. Looks like Lynn and Low-Ki may be out of action for a while, this is just getting more depressing.

The rest of the show was alright, but pointless segments like the Hermie Sadler situation really show how much work NWA:TNA needs. I truly hope they don’t mess up the X Division, because it’s truly the only thing they’ve got that is attracting the fans. Their tag division is putrid, their heavyweights are full of former WWE midcarders that no one care about and then there’s the silliness like Miss TNA. We need some sort of alternative and if they don’t fix it soon, there might be one in a few weeks.

‘Til next week,

The Dames, Damian Gonzalez

If you have any questions (such as move clarifications), comments (your review was eh), or anything else in general, send it to [email protected]

---