by Danny Gregory

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The HHH Files III



Triple H Buries Subway In Production Meeting

A great deal of controversy surrounds the recent severing of promotional ties between WWE and Subway, which had been a long-time sponsor. The information we here at The HHH Files are receiving seems to point to Triple H as the reason for the bad blood. Details are still sketchy, but it seems that conflict stems from a recent visit Triple H made to a Subway sandwich shop in Tampa, Florida. From an exclusive interview conducted with Marcus Robertson, the Subway sandwich artist who served The Game on that fateful day, The HHH Files has learned that wrestling's foremost heel was a lousy customer.

"I knew from the second that he walked in that he was going to be an asshole," said Robertson. "He ordered a footlong Veggie Delight on wheat, which is a pretty fucking weird thing to order in the first place. Alarms were going off in my head, like 'Uh-oh. We got a complainer right here.'"

Robertson valiantly made the sandwich nonetheless, applying the toppings as Triple H looked on. Mere seconds after paying for the sandwich, he returned to the counter, complaining of stale bread.

"And, you know, I guess I might have left that one out for a while. But that stuff happens. I didn't think twice about making him another sandwich," said Robertson.

Tensions came to a head when Triple H returned to the counter for a second time, complaining this time of rotten tomatoes.

"That was a bunch of bullshit," said Robertson, adding "I mean, I work here. I know what good tomatoes look like and there wasn't anything wrong with those goddamn tomatoes. I told him so, too."

It was then that Triple H allegedly demanded a refund. Robertson granted his request, only to be spurned by Triple H seconds later.

"And when he refused to sign an autograph for me," Robertson said, clearly upset, "That hurt. God, what an asshole."

The repercussions of this negative dining experience have had far-reaching effects throughout the WWE. Not only has Subway's sponsorship been pulled, but a planned WrestleMania program between Subway spokesman Jared Fogel and Chris Jericho has been scrapped. Early word his Fogel being replaced by either Carrot Top or Taco Bell's Grilled Steak Switchout guy, although Johnny Ace is said to be lobbying heavily for the Snuggle bear.

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