Raw from JHawk's Beak
by Jared "JHawk" HawkinsJan 13, 2003, 12:01
Raw from JHawk's Beak (1/13/2003)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
Know the saying "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"? Think about that: It was announced on Velocity this weekend that this year's Royal Rumble would only have one minute intervals between wrestlers coming in. No good can come out of that. Let me take you back to 1995 real quick. That was the only time they ever tried one minute intervals for the Rumble itself. There were times where it was very difficult to follow the various eliminations, particularly if they came in bunches (seven guys eliminated in the course of 55 seconds or so was way too damn many), and it was merely an excuse to allow Shawn Michaels to draw number one and win the thing without it actually being much of an accomplishment. Hey, going the duration was impressive, but not when you figure that he still finished 22:28 short of Bob Backlund's 1993 endurance record.
So now they've apparently decided the time was right for someone (possibly Chris Jericho) to come close to, if not, going first to last in the Royal Rumble, so we're going to cut the intervals down to one minute. There are two reasons why I have a problem it. First off, if they decide to have someone get the Diesel-type push by eliminating six or seven guys in a hurry, it's going to be such a blur that nobody's going to notice (or care), while making it difficult for those of us who try to figure out who the Ironman of the evening is to actually keep track of it. Second, part of the fun of the early Rumbles was seeing if somebody would get close to the endurance record. Not even necessarily breaking it, but approaching it. But outside of Kane in 2001 (I think he got to about 55 minutes, I'll have to watch the tape), we haven't had the chance to do that because they keep toying with the intervals to suit the rest of the card. I can tolerate 90 second intervals, but 60 seconds just makes the whole thing feel rushed.
Seriously, guys. With one minute intervals, you're looking at maybe...maybe...40 minutes for the actual Rumble, and outside of Benoit-Angle, you have nothing on the undercard that anybody wants to see hit the 10-12 minute mark. And you expect sane people to just blindly pay $34.95 to watch this show? The Royal Rumble is normally a must-buy event for me, and here's why. The Rumble itself usually goes an hour (possibly into the 65 minute range), and there's usually one kickass 20-25 minute match on the undercard (last year it was Rock-Jericho). That's over half the show right there, and no matter what kind of garbage the rest of the undercard holds, I usually get my money's worth right there. But this year, you've cut one of my favorite gimmick matches in half, you've only given me one match on the undercard that even remotely holds my interest (and due to Angle's injury might be highly disappointing), and littered the rest of the show with roided up freaks, unover giants, and two non-wrestling women fighting over whether or not some old guy with no charisma is dead or not. So thank you very much for ruining what is quite often your best card of the year.
You want my money this year? Announce no later than SmackDown that you're going with two minute intervals after all. Because if you insist on this one minute interval bullshit, then I'm going to save my money for more Ring of Honor shows like the one I attended this past Saturday and a whole lot of NWATNA.
OK, rant over. Tonight, William Regal vs. Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon returns to Raw on the 10th Anniversary, and probably lots of other stuff that nobody really wants to see. Let's see if they can salvage enough interest out of this show to squeeze that $34.95 out of me.
Segment 1
Easy E and Chief Morley are in the parking lot, and Eric wants no disgruntled superstars tonight...and immediately, Earl Hebner threatens a referee's strike. Morley leads the referees away, and now it'sBig Poppa Steroid Pump who is disgruntled. He doesn't want to wait for the Rumble to get his hands on Triple H, so Bischoff says he's doing a bench press contest. Not good enough, and Scotty makes no promises about not fighting Triple H.
Cue the opening.
We are live from the Mohegan Sun Arena (and casino) in Uncasville, Connecticut. Yes, Uncasville. The bench press competition is official (and I still don't care).
Triple Threat Hardcore Match for the WWE Women's Championship: Trish the Cheating Bitch vs. Jacqueline vs. Victoria (champion) w/Big Stevie Cool
Didn't we say "no more hardcore matches on Raw" back in August? And why does a heel (Victoria) have better music than a face (Trish)? No complaints about Victoria's music though, that song kicks ass. At the bell, all women immediately grab the plunder. Victoria rips up a stand up cutout of Trish, and Jacqueline hits Victoria from behind. Jacky takes Victoria down with a headscissors. Jacky and Trish brawl before Stevie gets involved. Stevie tries to give Victoria a kendo stick, but he overthrows it a la Chad Pennington and Trish gets it. Stevie causes a distraction, and now Victoria is in control. A moonsault onto a trash can lid misses, and Jacky rolls Victoria up for 2. Inside cradle, and Trish makes the save at 2. The challengers double team, but Stevie trips them both and pulls Jacky to the floor. Stevie hits Trish with a trash can lid, and Victoria covers for the pin at 2:30. A triple threat match goes under three minutes? 1/2* Trish goes after Victoria after the match, and Jacky makes Stevie her bitch. Stevie eventually gets free, and there's the StevieT to Trish. Victoria with a kendo stick, and they want a Singapore Demolition Decapitation, but The Hurricane makes the save and runs them off.
Bisch is very concerned about what Vince is gonna think, and here come The Reunited Damn Dudley Boyz to bitch about how they're being treated. Bubba threatens violence, Morley steps in...so the Dudleys kick Morley's ass until security pulls them off. Bisch fires them, but Bubba says they'll go to SmackDown, so Bisch changes it to a suspension without pay.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Hey Bubba, open mouth, insert foot. So far so good with the Vince McMahon storyline, as Bischoff is literally fearing for his job and wants absolutely nothing to go wrong, but within ten minutes three separate things have already gone wrong with little hope in sight. I'm liking it so far. However, the match was a waste of time. The very nature of a triple threat match should mean a decent length match. Two and a half minutes? Jobbers used to last longer than that against Andre the Giant. Oh, and what are the odds of somebody getting a 45 pound weight to the ribs, back, or knee during the bench press challenge? I'd say they're pretty high at this point.
Segment 2
Tonight, an over-the-top-rope challenge with RVD, Jericho, Kane, and Batista.
Tag Team contest scheduled for one fall: Test and Maven (w/My Future Wife in a short red dress) vs. Down with D'Lo Brown and Christopher Nowinski
Keep Test out of the ring and this might be decent. Apparently Test's version Roll the Dice is officially called the Test Drive, according to JR during the replay of last week's show. Nowinski and Test start. D'Lo slaps him from behind for a distraction, but it doesn't work as Test elbows Nowinski coming in. The heels immediately double team, and soon Nowinski works him over in the corner. Test breaks free with a boot and tags Maven...double elbow, and Maven covers for 2. Spinning heel kick, an excellent dropkick gets 2, but Nowinski reverses a whip, D'Lo knees Maven in the back, and it sets him up for a Nowinski spinbuster. T ag to D'Lo. Pretty solid "D'Lo' chant as a spinebuster gets 2. Maven comes back with a suplex, but Nowinski had made the blind tag. I love the blind heel tag spot. Form of a tarantula by Nowinski, and a cheap right hand by D'Lo. Tag to D'Lo, Irish whip, duck-down by Nowinski, clothesline by D'Lo. Bodyslam, and a guillotine body ride by D'Lo. Stacy rallies the crowd behind Maven. Maven with forearms, he floats behind on a back suplex, and there's the hot tag. Tilt-a-whirl suplex to D'Lo, full nelson slam to Nowinski, and he tries to pumphandle D'Lo, but Nowinski makes the save. Test Drive for Nowinski, but D'Lo avoids the boot and Test crotches himself on the top rope. D'Lo with the Sky High to Maven, but Test is the legal man. Stacy with the oh so fine distraction, which buys Test time to save Stacy with a Big Boot and get the pin in 5:43. Actually pretty solid for what it as. *1/2
Bisch is on the cell phone when a black limo shows up...it's gotta be Vince, right?
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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I was actually presently surprised by that match. Some solid double teaming by the heels, the right guys was the face in peril, and the faces go over. It's so simple, and yet that's such a rarity for this show lately. Nowinski and Maven continue to approve, D'Lo got face heat (!)...what an odd but fun segment. However, I'm willing to bet that it isn't Vince in the limo. Why else have a cliffhanger ending to the second segment?
Segment 3
During the break, it wasn't Vince, but actually Mean Gene Okerlund, who's making a presentation for the Tenth Anniversary Show. Bisch calls him an idiot (the special's tomorrow night), and Okerlund says "If you were a little smarter, maybe we'd have a Nitro reunion." Back live (I assume), Y2J+3 called HBK's bluff and asks for number one, and Bisch tries to talk him out of it because he wants a winner from Raw. Bisch tells him to win the over-the-top challenge and they'll talk.
Tonight, Triple H and Scott Steiner will bench press.
F-View is backstage and Lance Storm asks William Regal if he's ready. He's reading Lawler's book, and he says he'll knock him out to get rid of the memories about his divorces. Good Ol' JR wishes him luck, and The Pharaoh agrees with one thing...good planning overrides a poor performance.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Damn, I do a pre-show rant for no apparent reason and it turns out I pretty much hit the nail on the head...it's just an excuse to let Jericho start at number one and almost but not quite win. Sorry, but if anybody but Brock Lesnar wins the Rumble, I'll be in total shock.
Anybody else notice that Okerlund didn't mention Bobby Heenan as a co-presenter tomorrow night? Hmm...
Segment 4
b>One fall: The Pharaoh vs. William Regal (w/Lance Storm)
This stems back to December, when Regal was pinned by Jim Ross. Regal's got the stick! "Before we continue with the slaughter," Regal reads from chapter 13 Lawler's book. Ah, the relationship chapter: "I may have been a king in the ring, but in the bedroom I was nothing but a mere court jester." JR claims it's out of context, and I claim that I don't give a damn either way. Regal wants to continue, but we have a match tonight. There's the bell. Charles Robinson wants to search Regal, and he refuses, so three referees practically rape him in order to find the brass knuckles. The other two referees search Storm, who bitches because he's not even wrestling...and he has some knuckles in his elbowpad. So Storm gets ejected, Lawler pulls a chain out of his boot, wraps it around his fist, there's the punch and cover...but Lawler forgot to hide the evidence and calls for the DQ at 1:44. Well, that was a waste, although get rid of the DQ and I like that booking for some reason. DUD Lawler lost, but he claims he's still the King.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Well, if you like the old school Memphis storytelling, congratulations, because you got it. As I said, I actually rather like the little sneaky cheating like that, but I honestly don't buy into Lawler being that stupid after 30 years in the business that he didn't know to hide the evidence, particularly when Lawler's always been the master of hiding the illegal objects. No real point, but for some reason I don't care.
Segment 5
One fall for the final spot in the Royal Rumble: Mr. Extreme vs. Raven
It's about damn time that Raven's back on Raw (his psychology is second to none). And he's gotten a haircut! But you probably should announce the other 14 guys before having a match for the 15th spot. Just a thought. Raven with a headlock, throw-off, shoulderblock for 2. Hardy with a roll up for 2. And another roll up for 2. Raven blocks a rolling cradle, but Hardy clotheslines him and both tumble over the top rope. Hardy rolls Raven in, but Raven rolls out as Hardy climbs the turnbuckle. Raven begins going after the left knee. Hardy kicks Raven down and goes for a moonsault, but Raven rolls away and covers for 2. Raven going back for the leg with a spinning toehold. Hardy gets the spinning mule kick. Jawbreaker. Flying forearm. Dropkick, and a double legdrop to the...um...lower abdomen for 2. Raven punches away at the knees. Hardy climbs the ropes for the Whisper in the Wind, but slips, and Raven gets a cover for 2. Raven Effect is blocked, and Jeff is up top...Swanton Bomb for the pin at 4:05. Well, damn, I thought for a second they might actually let the guy who isn't high in the Rumble. 1/2*
Another limo pulls up, and this time it is Mr. McAsshole. Eric kisses his ass, and Vince says all he's doing is making an announcement. He runs into Randy Orton (w/94% mobility in his shoulder).
Sean O'Haire clip (YES!) where he advocates adultery. So what's his gimmick, TV evangelist?
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Well, the match, to use a Jim Cornette term, sucked a dick, but it was very refreshing to see Raven on Raw again. I don't necessarily need Raven to get a major push (I'd rather see him on the booking committee), but at least his psychology's strong enough that he might be capable of a good match. Now give him somebody to work with who's a little more motivated than Jeff Hardy and let's see what he can do.
Segment 6
And here comes Vince McMahon to the ring. Now this segment will work, the ratings will go up, and I'll have to deal with this guy for at least six months. He's got the stick. He's here tonight for one reason. Ten years ago he had a vision, and the Dudleys won't let him share it with us, because they're in the ring. They apologize for the interruption, but they're pissed about their suspension (which was warranted...it's called insubordination), so they're taking this time to bitch about Bisch being the GM. "Quite frankly, he's a piece of crap." Bubba claims to speak for the boys in the back and the fans (not me), and Vince finally interrupts because he doesn't appreciate the interruption. Vince says he'll throw his weight around. He reinstates the Dudley Boys (that lasted what, 40 minutes?), and this Sunday they'll get their World Tag Team Title shot. What about Booker and Goldust's return match? All Vince asks is that he hears "D-Von, get the tables" at some point on Sunday. The Dudleys leave, and now it's Vince's announcement. Ten years ago he revolutionized this industry...and here comes Jericho. Jesus Christ, why not just let Bill Watts spit on Bischoff's grave while you're burying him? Jericho's pissed that he's not number one in the Rumble (don't be a damned idiot, Chris!), and even though he'll probably get it with a win tonight, he wants it anyway. I'd be asking for number 30 myself. Vince wants Jericho to shut his mouth. The winner of the over-the-top rope challenge gets to choose his number for the Rumble. And three other guys are willing to choose number 30 and therefore guarantee themselves that they won't win the Rumble. McMahon says number one can't be taken though, because Shawn Michaels already got number one. "You don't like that? Well, I don't like being interrupted!" Vince tells Jericho to leave or he won't be in the Rumble at all. Will he make his announcement? Nope, here comes Bischoff, and this is probably gonna be career suicide. Hey, I didn't get my way yet, Vince? Can I get Steiner and Hunter taken off of Sunday's card? Bischoff doesn't understand how the GM can't...SHUT UP! Vince is fed up. He wanted to make an announcement about tomorrow's Tenth Anniversary special, but since Bisch has no control over anybody, it's time for a public job evaluation. The crowd thinks Bischoff hasn't been doing that good a job...but Vince disagrees. But he wasn't hired to do a good job. He was hired to turn Raw upside down, inside out, to revolutionize Raw...but Raw hasn't even had any evolution. Actually, it's devolved, Vince, but we've been saying that for six months. Vince starts getting "What"ed by the crowd. So Bisch now has 30 days to turn Raw around, and if he doesn't...they'll be back in this ring, staring eye to eye, and he'll hear Vince say the magic words..."YOU'RE FIRED!" 29 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, 30 seconds and counting.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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As they took the break, they showed a commercial that says "SmackDown pays its last respects to Al Wilson." Does that mean the match at the Rumble is off?
Anyway, Vince has made his big announcement...oh wait, he didn't. But if the rumors that have been prevalent for the last six months are true, then we're looking at the last four weeks of WWE Raw. The main problem...if the writing team hasn't been able to turn this show around in six months, how are they supposed to do it credibly in four weeks?
Segment 7
Bisch chases Vince down and says he knows he can turn Raw around, but he needs more than 30 days. He says nobody can replace him, but out of the limo comes Shane McMahon. Nepotism rules! Can't he take Steph's job though?
One fall: Booker T (w/Goldust) vs. Lance Storm (w/William Regal)
I'll say it again. What happened to the automatic rematch clause for Goldust and Booker T? Regal stares at Lawler on his way to the ring as we see the clip of Storm and Regal winning the Linear Tag Team Title last week. Earl Hebner searches Regal...how the hell is he supposed to find yet another pair of brass knuckles? Would he confiscate his own confiscated pair out of the principal's desk, or is that too Saved by the Bell? There's the bell. Side headlock by Booker. Off the ropes, and Booker with a shoulderblock. Wrestling sequence into a hammerlock, Storm elbows out of it, hiptoss is blocked and reversed by Booker. Bodyslam and a kneedrop for 2. Booker and Goldust are apparently in the Rumble. Brisco sunset flip by Booker, but Storm rolls through it. Storm with some knees and chops. Irish whip, reversal, Booker with a flapjack. Leg lariat for 2. Armbar by Booker, and this slow pace makes me think we're getting 10-12 minutes out of this. Storm brings Booker to the corner and goes to the shoulderblocks. Whip into the corner and a cover for 2. Backbreaker gets 2. Series of knees to the back, and a crossface as the crowd chants for Booker T. Storm turns the hold into a chinlock. Booker with some elbows, but Storm with some shots to the back...and Booker comes back with a forearm. Backdrop. Series of chops, a leg lariat misses and sends Hebner running, Regal gets in a cheap shot from behind, and here comes the Dudley Boyz to get Booker disqualified in 5:23. Oh come on! That was just getting good before the run in, too. * The Dudleys set Storm up a 3D, but Regal pulls Storm out of the ring. They left the belts at ringside though, so the Dudleys use them as bait.
Bench pressing later. Rah.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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That looked like the first five minutes of a 20 minute match, and since they used it as nothing more than a way to build up the World Tag Team Title match at the Rumble, I can't rate it any higher. What does this do for Booker and Goldust? It's unlikely either of them are actually going to win the Rumble, so all that's left for them is to get the tag team titles...so they get a three week title reign as transitional champs to apparently lose them to another pair of transitional champs. Who are we actually helping at all, come to think of it?
Segment 8
Please pay $20 a head to watch the Rumble at the World. And SmackDown stars are there tonight for the Raw party!
One fall: The Hurricane (w/Trish the Cheating Bitch) vs. Big Stevie Cool (w/Victoria)
This was set up earlier tonight, and hot damn that StevieT was actually pretty vicious looking. Richards gets a forearm to the back that's technically after the opening bell, so it's a legal cheap shot. Richards wants the Heil Hitler suplex, but Hurricane reverses it. Series of clotheslines, and a wristlock neckscissors takedown (for lack of a better term) gets 2. Victoria hooks an ankle, so Trish attacks. In the ring, Hurricane gets the pin with the Eye of the Hurricane in 1:26. The women make their way to the ring, and after Stevie has bailed, a Chick Kick from Trish sends Victoria out of the ring. What a waste of two talented guys. DUD And forget the finish, the replay is for Trish's kick.
Scott Steiner is warming up backstage. Please say the bench press shit is next.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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What am I supposed to say about that? "Well, at least they were on Raw?" I mean come on! You're going to give a freaking weightlifting competition about 20 minutes (I'd guess closer to 22), and you can't give this match two minutes? At the very least, let the finish be the postmatch replay instead of a kick that was sold fairly well but clearly missed by at least six inches.
Segment 9
We're at the Mohegan Sun Arena, and let's turn our attention to the Royal Rumble. Scott Steiner vs. Triple H for the Big Gold Belt! Dawn Marie ("newly widowed") vs. Torrie Wilson. The Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar for a Royal Rumble spot! Regal and Storm vs. The Dudley for the Linear Tag Team Titles! Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit for the Linear WWE Title! And the Royal Rumble itself! Plus...The Undertaker returns (to a pop).
Coach is introducing us to the bench press challenge. Three lifts, and whoever gets the heaviest wins. Simple enough. Scott Steiner is out first. And Scott gets the stick, and Triple H just wants to play games. He won the arm wrestling match, he won the posedown (um...never mind), but tonight, Scotty's doing things his way. He wants 585 out there for starters, and he's going to see if Hunter can top it. The competition is next.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Oh yay, two segments for this shit. Well, let's hold off for the time being and see if maybe something relevant comes out of this, but I doubt it. And while I'm at it, can I just say that when you use the real Al Wilson for that asinine angle, killing him off is probably a really stupid idea, particularly when it's the FOCAL POINT of this week's show. This isn't a character in a soap opera unless it's played by an actor.
Segment 10
The segment starts with Triple H's entrance. And Hungry Hungry Hippos is in a suit, so somehow I think they're doing a bait and switch on a freaking bench press contest. If you must do this non-wrestling crap, at least deliver on it. Hunter goes to the ring, because staying on the stage for some bench pressing doesn't make him the focal point of the segment. I feel sorry for the live crowd for getting three minutes of nothing leading up to this. Hunter claims he doesn't care about any of this, because he's been playing games and having a good time. What he cares about is the title, which says he's the best at wrestling. *cough* If Steiner thinks he can knock him off the perch, think again, because nobody else has done it. I'm praying that Stephanie breaks up with you ass so we can test that theory. So this Sunday, Hunter will make an example of Steiner and prove that's he the best, the game, that damn good, and any other catch phrase he's used in every single interview since February 2000. Steiner says why wait, because these people would rather see an ass kicking anyway. He's right about that. Steiner heads to the ring, Hunter takes off the jacket, and he catches Steiner coming in. Steiner with a belly-to-belly. Right hands, a Beell, and he's stipping Hunter of his shirt. Hey, that's the Angle from the Flair-Steamboat interview at Clash of the Champions V except with two guys who don't kick ass! Hunter's down to his underwear (silver briefs with a black trim for you ladies and gay males), and Steiner tosses Hunter out to the floor. Steiner tosses his clothes to the crowd, and he says he's just started even though he's already huffing and puffing. Hunter forgot the belt, so Scotty poses with it...didn't I see that once already tonight?
Still to come, the over the top rope challenge to choose their Royal Rumble number!
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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HHHater Clock: One segment, 7:46. And there's no reason for him to be back on the air tonight, so for once, everybody else is more annoying. Don't expect that to hold. But this does not make me want to see Sunday's Raw main event. Scott Steiner should not be breathing that hard after a two minute brawl, so what happens if they try for a 15 minute match or so? There's only so much stalling you can do before the crowd decides that the match isn't worth their time and they stop paying attention. Plus, there's almost no way Steiner can go over (not that it matters in this case since neither guy is exactly tearing it up workrate wise, from what I understand) because Hunter has actually been on the down end of almost every single boring ass buildup.
Segment 11
The Raw Tenth Anniversary special is tomorrow night!
Over the top rope challenge where the winner gets to choose his number in the Royal Rumble: Rob...Van...Dam vs. Kane vs. Don't Call Me Dave Batista (w/o Ric Flair...where the hell is he, anyway?) vs. Y2J+3
The rules are pretty simple...it's a four man battle royal. If you go over the top rope and out to the floor, you're elimianted. JR assumes the winner will choose number 30, but if Jericho wins, he gets a whole 60 seconds to get buried by Shawn Michaels because he'll be an idiot and pick number 2. JR says Flair has a family emergency. Damn, that sucks. Although I'd laugh if the emergency is David working with Russo again. Oh yeah, the match. There's a brawl to start. RVD is paired with Batista and Kane with Jericho. Switch! Kane tries to eliminate Batista. RVD with a slingshot, but Jericho hops onto the second rope. RVD tries to dump him, but Jericho only goes to the apron. The crowd's dead. Jericho tries to dump RVD while Batista tries to dump Kane, but nothing yet. RVD charges Jericho but misses and hits the post shoulder first. Jericho and Batista with Kane, but RVD saves him. Well, that was stupid. Jericho takes a gamble by going to the second rope and getting a flying dropkick. RVD gets a martial arts kick to the face. This has been mostly punching so far. Batista and Jericho are down, and Kane and RVD stare each other down but don't go at it. Kane and RVD are working as a team. They try to dump Batista, but Jericho runs in and RVD stops him with a leg lariat. RVD charges and misses Jericho, but he doesn't go over. Kane sets up Batista for a choke slam, but Jericho gets a low blow, and Batista dumps Kane at 5:48. One down. Batista with the High Angle Sitout Power Bomb to Jericho, but RVD dumps Batista over at 6:22. But Batista comes back in, and that's enough for Jericho to dump RVD over for the win at 6:32. Holy crap, did that suck! DUD Jericho has the stick, and even though logic says he should take number 30, he takes number 2. Idiot. That way he proves he's the best...and we can't go without the Holy Bible Kid tonight, so he's going to attack a tired Chris Jericho. Over the top, but HBK skins the cat back in and dumps Jericho over the top rope. Oh yeah, very brave, Shawn, attack the man after he's been wrestling 7 minutes. There's Shawn's pyro, and we're out at 11:03.
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END OF SHOW
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I cannot believe they actually went with this bad a main event intentionally. Ooo, let's punch and kick, then have rapid fire eliminations. Bah. And then here comes HBK doing the Christian thing to do and cheap shotting a man who's already been wrestling, and yet he's the guy I'm supposed to be cheering. The hell with that.
Final HHHater Clock: One segment, 7:46. Again, don't get used to that, but they kept it to the point, which is a rarity.
Overall, a couple of decent matches, some decent angle development, but mostly garbage mixed in with it. And only 27:27 of wrestling time even though it was made perfectly clear that 30 minutes was about ten minutes too little. If they're trying to sell the Royal Rumble with this, consider it a huge failure. What did we build except that Bischoff's job is in jeopardy? And that his job is basically a joke when Vinnie Mac can overrule him anyway? *sigh* Somebody give me the book, I'll turn this damn show around!
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