by Josh Lowmon

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I’m back and I’m hitting up the Weekend version of the Shellacking a bit early so that way I can make sure to get you all the previews and match listings for the weekend shows and also get you caught up on any news that has happened lately. A couple news tidbits to get to in this edition so here we go.

First news item for this update is that Roddy Piper was let go from the WWE on Wednesday. Here is the statement from WWE.com for you to read and then I will give my opinion on the whole deal.

From WWE.com:

Since March 31, 2003, World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. (“WWE”) and Roderick Toombs, p/k/a “Roddy Piper”, have attempted to negotiate the terms of an arrangement for Roddy to appear on WWE programming through August of this year. The parties have been unable to reach a mutually acceptable agreement.

On Tuesday, June 24, Piper appeared on an HBO program and revealed disturbing facts about his own personal drug use. Piper stated that he used drugs for many years while working in professional wrestling and that he does not like the person that he becomes when he actively performs as a professional wrestler.

In view of WWE’s inability to reach agreement on a contract and to assist Piper from engaging in any self-destructive behavior, the WWE is ending any further discussion with Piper regarding a contract

The WWE sincerely hopes for Piper and his family that Roddy can find happiness.

So… let me get this straight… they got rid of Piper for his PAST drug use and they wanted to assist him from engaging in any self-destructive behavior in the future. OK I can understand them not wanting to be a cause for Roddy ending up dead doing a couple rails of coke. So what about between March 31st and June 26th? Don’t tell me in all his years in the WWF/E no one noticed ANY substance abuse. I would this is just an easy out for Vince since Piper made some disparaging comments towards the company.

The question now is how do they explain the absence of Piper when O’Haire comes out? Will they regulate him to Velocity for a month or two and hope that the average fan’s attention span is a week or will they take him off TV all together and restart the Devil’s Advocate promos that he was doing before being paired with Piper?

Since Piper has been working so far without a contract I would have kept silent about letting him go and came up with some way to separate O’Haire from him before dropping the axe instead of now having to do one of the above options.

Thinking really seems to be a skill lacking in the current structure of that company.

Lesnar and Angle expected to make the weekend Smackdown house shows even though they have a few injuries. Angle re-aggravated a hamstring injury that he suffered and Wrestlemania and Lesnar suffered a deep leg bruise from a boating accident last week.

Speaking of Smackdown, the show did a 3.4 rating with a 6 share, which is more than last weeks 3.2. Smackdown was pre-empted in Philly as well.

William Regal is said to be close to returning soon as possibly a commissioner on RAW and acting as an intermediary between Stone Cold and Eric Bischoff. (Pro Wrestling Torch Newsletter)

It seems as if Kevin Nash is trying to weasel his way into Evolution as the Caveman of the group. More than likely he will turn on HBK in some way and Michaels can try and carry yet another Clique member to a good match. There doesn’t seem to be any opposition to this, as Nash isn’t drawing shit as a face anyways. I’m just waiting for his vinyl pants to rip so everyone will see his skinny ass legs. Of course if you look at the size of his ankles you can plainly see his popsicle stick legs. (Credit to Meltzer)

Looks like Jeremy Borash wants to rumble with little Gary Coleman for dissing him, here is an excerpt from his From The Inside column (Note: This is some funny ass shit here.) :

Another story from my WCW days you ask? Well, its Friday... ok. I guess it is finally time to come clean on the day I conspired to do physical harm to someone. I'm not exactly proud of this, but after four years, the story needs to be told.

I believe the town was Buffalo, NY. WCW had a PPV there and my day was actually pretty light. In WCW, PPVs were either completely hectic for me, or practically a day off. On the big events, I would host a live six hour pre-show on the preview channel without taking a break. Those were exhausting. Other shows, I would just host the WCW Live! post show, which was a walk in the park. However, no PPV experience compared to the one in Buffalo, NY, as I was about to endure pain like never before.

Since this day was rather light for me, I was asked to look after Gary Coleman, who was being brought in to appear on the PPV. Bob Ryder had arranged the appearance for WCW, so I got Coleman's number from Bob and called him to finalize his airline info, hotel, ect. We flew him first class and I was to pick him up in my rental car at the airport at 4pm that night, take him directly to the arena, and make sure he had a ride back to the hotel after the show. We had a pleasant telephone conversation and everything was set.

I pick up Gary Coleman up at the airport, and immediately he starts in on me. His first statement to me is "Where is the nearest train or hobby store?" I told him I had no idea, but I would be happy to call information and find out for him. I said he would have time to do a little shopping before his flight in the morning, and I would arrange for someone to take him around and then get him to the airport. I had to be at our Nitro production meeting right away in the morning in Rochester, so I wouldn't have been able to go with the little fella.

Well, things went south fast, as Coleman turned heel by insisting that he was promised to be taken to a train store before he went to the arena. A train store? What the..? Ok... whatever you say little Arnold. I kindly explained to him that we needed to get him to the arena immediately for a pre-tape. He started to fuss and actually refused to get into the car until I called and got directions to a hobby store. I thought he was ribbing me at first, but it became apparent to me very early that he was serious. Could the kid I watched as a child on Diff'rent Strokes really be this big of an a-hole?

I lucked out and found a huge train and hobby store that was just minutes from the arena, called and told the owner of the situation, and the owner agreed to keep the store open just for us. We were already running late, so I told him he had just a few minutes. Coleman walked into this model train store like he owned the joint. I've never seen anything like it. Of course, the owner of the store flips out when he sees him, which only fueled his fire. He started to bark out statements like, "if this was a real train store, you'd have the 1954 Wellington Caboose with the gold plated chasse..." Not only did he never thank the guy for keeping the place open for us, but he acted like the store's selection wasn't up to par. To this day, I've never seen anything like it.

30 minutes later and five phone calls from WCW office later, I finally was able to drag him out of the store and made a mad dash to the arena. I was ready to throw him out of the moving car.

On the way to the arena, and I will never forget this... he informed me that under no uncertain circumstances would he udder the phrase, "whatchu talkin' bout Mike Awesome," as was scripted. Stating that his popular "whatchu talking bout..." phrase was in his past, and he has moved on. He doesn't say that anymore. By this time, I was considering driving off a bridge and putting us both out of our misery. I really do have a lot of patience with people, and acted professional the whole time, but in my head I was already planning revenge. One way or another, little Arnold was going to pay.

We arrived at the arena, and I immediately pulled Jimmy Hart aside, and told him that I had to hand off Coleman to him, as I was about to lose it, and Jimmy has the most patience of anyone I know. Jimmy laughed it off and pitched a solid relief outing.

It came time to go over the segment with Jeff Jarrett and Russo, and sure enough, he wanted more money to take the guitar shot. What a worker. He had agreed to everything well ahead of time, but was trying to do everything he could to make this difficult. Everything was worked out and he finally agreed to take the guitar shot.

After going over this surreal situation, I pulled Jeff Jarrett aside and did something I still have not come to terms with. I actually offered Jeff Jarrett cash to nail that little bastard as hard as he possibly could with the guitar. Now, Jarrett always swings for the fences with ol' Slapnuts, but this time I wanted him to swing the guitar like he has never done it before, in an attempt to actually injure little Arnold. Now, once again, I'm not proud of my actions, and in retrospect I'm glad Jarrett took the high road and declined my financial offer, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

Now, an interesting Oliver Stone twist to this story... I think there may have been a leak. Not that there were any shortage of stooges already in WCW, but I have strong reason to believe that someone tipped Gary Coleman off to my plan ahead of time. If you go back and watch the tape, Coleman takes the guitar shot, his baseball cap falls off, only to reveal a large amount of toilet paper coiled into his hat to try and cushion the blow. The tape doesn't lie.

It actually feels good to get that all off my chest, and after completing my anger management classes and court ordered community service work, I feel much better. I will say this much though... little Gary... if you are reading this... Don't think I've forgotten about you. I still want to beat your ass.

Watch your back Coleman, Borash be looking for you sucka.

Not much else left so I will leave you with the weekend show previews and match listings and a early RAW preview.

WWE Velocity Preview for June 28th, 2003:

Catch Velocity every Saturday night starting at 10/9 CT on TNN!

Chris Benoit and Rhyno recently battled in the U.S. Title Tournament. But this week on Velocity, they'll have to put any differences aside if they want to have any hope of beating the Basham Brothers, who will be accompanied by Shaniqua.

In singles competition, Billy Gunn, with the red-hot Torrie Wilson, will be in action.

Plus, we'll look back at the Zach Gowen-Stephanie McMahon-Mr. McMahon situation from SmackDown!

Don't miss Velocity this Saturday night on TNN!

Match listings for Velocity:

Billy Gunn (w/ Torrie) VS Kanyon

A-Train VS Kevin Knight

Spanky VS Xavier

Chris Benoit and Rhyno VS the Basham Brothers (w/ Shaniqua)

WWE Confidential Preview for June 28th, 2003:

This week on Confidential, Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio invites you into his San Diego home. See where Mysterio rests his head with this exclusive tour.
WrestleMania has seen many great moments and matches. Perhaps one of the greatest WrestleMania matches took place when brothers Bret and Owen Hart battled at WrestleMania X from Madison Square Garden. Confidential will go into its vault to show you this match this Saturday Night.

The leggy Stacy Keibler teamed up with Jim Ross to sign copies of J.R.’s new cookbook at the Virgin Megastore in New York City. See what happens when WWE fans finally get a glimpse of sexy Stacy in person.

Also, put yourself on the red carpet with Chris Jericho and Trish Stratus for the Much Music Video Awards.

All this and more this Saturday night at 11/10 CT on The New TNN!

WWE Heat Preview for June 29th, 2003:

Don't miss HEAT this Sunday night at 7/6 CT on TNN.
In mixed tag team action, Trish Stratus teams with Goldust to take on Victoria and Steven Richards.

Rico, accompanied by the lovely Jackie Gayda, goes one on one with Tommy Dreamer. Speaking of Rico, this week's HEAT will feature the debut of a new segment featuring the flamboyant Las Vegas native.

Fresh off his victory over Lance Storm on RAW, Garrison Cade battles Rosey. Val Venis will also be in action.

Plus, we'll look back at the Triple H-Kane match and the Mick Foley tribute from RAW.

Catch HEAT this Sunday at 7/6 CT on TNN.

Match Listings for Heat

Rico vs. Tommy Dreamer

Val Venis vs. Roman

Steven Richards and Victoria vs. Trish Stratus and Goldust

RAW Preview for June 30th, 2003:

Fans and WWE Superstars alike have spent the past five years wondering what is under the mask of Kane. They need not wonder any longer. The big red monster finally revealed his face to the world last Monday on RAW, and it was not a pretty sight. As many suspected, Kane's appearance was not that of a GQ model. In fact, it was rather grotesque.

So now that Kane has revealed exactly what he has spent a lifetime hiding, where does he go next? Will he go into hiding? Or will he face the world? When we see him again, will he still display the same level of ruthless aggression he did last week when he chokeslammed his friend Rob Van Dam? All these questions and more will be answered this Monday night on RAW on The New TNN -- America's first network for men.

I'm out with a couple suggested readings:

Check out The Dame's Diatribe on NWA-TNA which in his words: "It's up EARLY, Biatches."

Also check out JHawk's Smackdown report and Dr. Tom's superb Metallica -- St. Anger review. Also check out Matt Ditaliano's eerily similar thoughts in his column Wrestler's are NOT Actors.

Send me feedback!

Josh Lowmon

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