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Tape Reviews
IWS Know Your Enemies
Posted by The Paradise City Ninjas on Jul 8, 2003, 01:35
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The Internet Wrestling Syndicate (IWS) is a federation running out of Montreal, Canada. Often drawing comparisons to CZW and XPW, the federation is known for its blend of wrestling and hardcore wrestling. IWS stars have appeared outside of Canada, most notably Green Phantom, Arsenal, and the Hardcore Ninjas appearing at CZW events. Former CZW wrestlers Lobo and Justice Pain have also appeared in IWS events. The federation is drawing rave reviews among indy fans, and the federation was kind enough to send tapes to three members here on the message board.
Jay = ShooterJay
Jake = Sandman9000
TG = PhoenixFuryLegdrop
IWS Know Your Enemies 2003- Taped from Bar Le Skratch, Laval Quebec Canada, 3/15/03
Jake: Dammit, we�re in Canada.
Jay: Shut up. Remember we got this for free.
Your hosts are Peter LaSalle, Brian the Guppie, and Manny T.
Jay: We open with what has given the IWS such a strong reputation in the underground net crowd- a KILLER video package of just one insanely violent thing after another- a light tube Total Elimination, 15-foot dives onto exploding tables, a death valley driver through a light tube � potted plant,� and lots and lots of blood. Packages like these should be a must for people new to the product, because they assault the senses and present an enticing hook to the audience. The big question with IWS though has always been, is it great wrestling or just a highlight reel? We shall see�
Jake: This confused me. I saw the video on syndicatewrestling.com (I know, eight words and already a cheap plug. I�m a whore, I know) that was supposed to be of KYE, and it was nothing like the one that was actually on the video. I enjoyed the one from the website more then the one that was actually on the tape. Jay said it probably was a matter of copyrighted music and all, but then how does CZW use copyrighted music for their video packages, unless they shill out the money? I dunno, so just go download the Know Your Enemies video from the IWS site, as well as their other videos.
TG: It was a really well put-together video. However, and I don't want to sound like the cynical asshole of the group, nor an old foggy who doesn't understand the evolution of wrestling, but I'll put money down that most, if not all of those guys, will end up not being able to walk normally, or at least lose most function in their knees and/or back, by the time they hit 35. Most of the stuff in there is beyond insanity, and stuff that no person should ever put themselves through.
Kid Kamikaze vs. El Generico
Jay: Kid Kamikaze is one half of the IWS tag team champions, Hi-5 (not to be confused with CZW super stable Hi-V). El Generico is some skinny guy in a mask who writes in magic marker on his body. Boys and girls, can we say �yardtard?� Kamikaze comes out to the �Beverly Hills 90210� theme, so I�m a fan already. Standard indy chain wrestling sequence to start, followed up by dueling poses. Dueling poses as Guppie states�the fans really love that little skinny prick from Tijuana-love this lucha libre shit!� Take that Mike Tenay. Finally, after another five minutes of wrestling school sequences and beginning lucha armdrags, as the commentators gripe-�Even more armdrags, holy shit, didn�t see that coming! Can�t we get something a little more devastating, like a kick to the balls?!� And now we get stalling, completing the county fair wrestling cycle. Finally Kamikaze actually works toward something, hitting a northern lights suplex and an X factor as Manny T complains about the lack of scrotum discussion. Yeah, he actually said that. Exact words. Release german by Kamikaze gets 2. Infuriating spot monkey sequence as Generico floors KK, runs the ropes and does THREE springboards before hitting an asai moonsault. KK finally says �fuck this backyard shit� as he lays into Generico with spinal taps and some stiff forearms before Generico counters with a T-Bone suplex. KK sends Generico to the outside and hits a nice corkscrew plancha, but Generico tops him with a double springboard somersault plancha and we get SPLIT SCREEN REPLAYS! Kudos to Wild Rose Productions for putting in the extra effort to make the product major league. Back in, Generico misses a swanton bomb and Kamikaze gets him with Elix Skipper�s Play of the Day. Inverted DDT by Generico gets two. Brainbuster gets 2. Generico, ridiculously blown up, eats foot on a blind, uh, walk, and Kamikaze makes him pay with a tornado DDT and a Falcon Arrow, called a �Fuckin� Arrow� by our intrepid announce crew. Corksccrew plancha by KK misses, and Generico looks to finish on the top, but in comes �The Natural� Steve Royds� to run interference, and Generico�s 450 misses. Royds accidentally beltshots KK to mercifully end this match.
This match was FIFTEEN minutes long. Manny about Generico: �how can you support this motherfucker?� I�m wondering the same thing. Cut out the completely pointless training sequences, ridiculously contrived spots, and about five minutes total, this would have been acceptable, but as is the match was an overblown, transitionless spotfest anybody just out of wrestling school could do. Kamikaze at least tried to hold it together and his moves looked very crisp, but Generico wasn�t even going for covers properly at the end.
Winner: El Generico
Rating: *3/4
Jake: I like the Generico gimmick, as well as the �jobber who never jobs� theory behind it. Weird things that completely defy logic entertain me. Like Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. However, aside from the swank double springboard somersault senton, nothing in the match really stood out and entertained me. It seemed like they were trying to fit in as many indy clich�s (trading stiff forearms, pinfall reversal party, Indy Applause Stance (�2002 by The Dames), etc�, as possible. Instead, it came out feeling like a giant mess. For having a gimmick of a luchador, Generico really did notching luchaey at all. Lucha Libre is not exchanging a bunch of armdrags while wearing funky masks kids. Kid Kamikaze did nothing to stand out either, for better or worse. Overall, I just found the match boring and dull, and that�s not something you want starting your shows. This gets a 1.5 (out of 10) for Generico�s dive and for writing �I am hot� on his back.
TG: When my favorite thing about a match is the guys' entrance music (Kamikaze's "90210 Theme", Generico's "Ole" by the Bouncing Souls, which he stole from CM Punk), you know it's not good. Both guys looked quite backyardish, though I must give the "Most Unprofessional-Looking Wrestler" award to Generico. If the fact that he's pale and weighs about 100 pounds (which I really shouldn't rip on, since there's some guys who just have metabolism problems) isn't bad enough, he wrote stupid crap that I couldn't read all over himself in magic marker. That screams, "I'm a yardtard". The match itself was about the slowest spotfest of all-time. They basically did the same opening sequence twice, with them doing mirror/"anything you can do I can do better" spots, then posing for applause. Then came what usually is the body of the match. Instead, they did some more spots that neither sold for more than 5 seconds. Funny thing was, half of the time, when Generico was supposed to run, he sort of gingerly walked, which was funny in an "that's horrible" way. I will give Kamikaze credit for trying to set up a heat segment for him to get in some dominant offense on Generico. But, Generico sort of just started doing stuff as his comeback, and shot that effort all to hell. They did some "look at me, I can imitate WCW lucha car crashes horribly!" crap. Somewhere in here, they threw in a "I'll hit you really hard with a forearm, you no-sell, and hit me with one" sequence, which no two guys that size should even try. It looks really bad, though Kamikaze did lay his in really well. In the end, Steve Royds runs in, hits Kamikaze by accident, and Generico rolls Kamikaze up for the win. I'll disagree with Jay's statement about guys just out of wrestling school being able to pull off this match: you don't have to go to wrestling school to pull off that match. Just set up some mattresses in your backyard, get a friend who can do some flips, and you, too, can do that match. Kamikaze looks like he may have some talent, but not enough to carry anyone yet. Generico, on the other hand, is the reason why indy guys get a bad rep.
Grade: 57
Jay: �The Natural� Steve Royds, who appeared briefly in CZW at This Time It�s Personal and wrestled at Process of Elimination, challenges Generico, who was blown up 5 minutes into THIS match, to ANOTHER match later in the show, and tries to get his catchphrase over- �ROOOYYYYDS!� I�d PAY somebody in the front row at Raw to chant that.
Jake: Nice to see it took us all of one match to start bashing HHH. The interview was funny when Royds introduced his catchphrase (be sure to say it as high pitched as you can), but died after that. And died hard. The interview gets a 3, just for the high-pitched �Rooooooooooooooooyds!� call. Other then that, bleh.
TG: I couldn't understand the promo, but that high-pitched "ROOOYDS!" chant was so annoying, it was funny. I dare someone to chant that at the monster factory that is OVW.
Jake: And one match to bash OVW. Good job all around.
Beef Wellington vs. Latino Mysterio
Jay: Beef is the other half of Hi-5, and Latino Mysterio, is well, a short Hispanic guy who�s dressed like Rey Mysterio and weighs about 100 pounds. The angle going in is that Wellington broke his hand on Latino Mysterio�s ass going for his finisher- the aptly named Ass Punch, and now he�s out for REVENGE. Finally, an angle the fans can get behind! Uh yeah, so anyway Wellington jumps Mysterio to start, but Mysterio takes advantage with an �ASS RIGHT TO THE COCK� and a springboard spinkick. Back elbow by Wellington leads to the setup for the ASS PUNCH~!, but opts out for a schoolboy for two. Wellington kicks him �right in those Mexican fucking balls� and hits a NICE sitout straitjacket powerbomb for a near-fall. Wellington follows with a torture rack kneebreaker (Prime Rib) and a Torture Rack into a diamond cutter (the Mashed Potatoes)- because Mashed Potatoes goes great with Prime Rib, according to our heroes in the booth,. Mysterio makes the jobber comeback, but Wellington blows the first spot of the night by slipping on an over-the-rope vault. Beef recovers quickly with an eyepoke and a springboard clothesline. Another ASS PUNCH~!-NO! The �most useless fucking corkscrew plancha� according to Guppie misses, but T retorts with �he wasn�t supposed to miss you stupid bastard!� and I�m DYING laughing. Springboard rana and somersault planchas puts Mysterio back on the advantage and Manny demands a replay on an armbar. Yakuza Kick by Beef, but he passes out after doing three pushups. Rad Radford lives! Mysterio tries another springboard rana, but Beef counters into a Blue Thunder Driver. ASS PUNCH~! A third time, but he gets crotched on the rope, as the announcers take a count on �penis bumps.� Beef and Mysterio trade low blows, and Mysterio brings in some chairs, but Beef one ups him to INFINITY by bringing in a LEO-AUTOGRAPHED TITANIC POSTER~! VAN-POSTERNATOR! Beef recovers with a POSTER TO THE FACE! He sets up poster on the chairs- TIGER DRIVER �91 ON THE CHAIRS~! NICE! AAAAASSS PUNCH~~~! YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT�S OVER! HIT THE MUSIC!
Post match, Hi-5 hits the Westmount Deathdrop (5D- a military version of 3D).Mysterio�s partner Latino Kid tries to save, but Kurt Lauderdale hits the ring and hits a SKULL TOSS SUPLEX. (think a Baldo Bomb release suplex) and the Die-alator (super-rotation backdrop driver). PLAY THE MUSIC AGAIN!
Hi-5 was trained by Jacques Rougeau, the former Mountie, and it shows as Beef knew exactly when to play the crowd for comedy and when to get serious and break out some nice high-impact moves. As a comedy match, this was golden, between the Titanic poster, the sheer number of penis reference, and Beef doing vintage Bodydonnas spots, I was crying the whole match. Beef would play excellently in IWA Mid South- book Jimmy Jacobs vs. Beef now!
Winner: Beef Wellington
Rating: **3/4
Jake: Beef Wellington is money. This wasn�t so much a comedy match as a showcase for Beef, and he delivered. I would have liked to have seen Latino Mysterio get in a little more offense, but this was a showcase for Beef, and Beef delivered. He�s got a good look, some size, has his shtick down pat, and knows how to work the crowd as well. His spot where he takes all day to climb to the top rope while Latino Mysterio has enough time to download porn with a 56K modem before he moves, and even then Beef still isn�t ready is great. The E.Coli Driver (straightjacket piledriver) through the chairs and AUTOGRAPHED TITANIC POSTER~! (don�t know why I�m capitalizing this, I didn�t see the damn movie) as well as Beef lifting Mysterio up during the pin was kinda overkill, but it led to the ASS PUNCH~!, so all is good. Actually, it looked like Beef was aiming more for the coccyx then the buttocks themselves, but I�ll let it slide.
It was also about this point where I started to get pissed off at the IWS commentators. �Penis bump� was slightly funny the first time, and it lost its charm quickly. I really didn�t need a discussion on the male genitals during something that could already be considered vaguely homosexual. But the commentary came off as really immature to me, and that�s something that could be improved. You don�t need to be serious all the time, but being constantly juvenile is a good way to piss off the members of your audience who aren�t in the teens anymore.
Anyway, this gets a 3.5, 2.5 for the match, and an extra point for the glory and might that is the Ass Punch. Beef�s going to be going places, I tell ye.
TG: Let me just say this before we start: I am a Beef mark. The guy could be an icon on the level of Bob Sapp, Jimmy Jacobs, or even Salvatore Rinauro someday. Latino is more of a Fuego Guerrero ripoff than a Rey Jr. ripoff, in my opinion. I thought Beef was a little too "wink wink, nudge nudge" with his no-selling of the smaller Mysterio's attempts to pick him up, but not as bad as plenty of other guys out there. I dug how they attempted to tell the "David vs. Goliath" story, which was way more depth than the previous match had. Beef was great in working the crowd, and brought humor, which was actually funny and fit in with the context. I groaned when Mysterio brought in the chairs, since that's not exactly pacing your show well, by bringing weapons into the second match. But, everything became sunny once Beef broke out that Titanic poster, aka Papercut City, man! I thought the TD '91 was a little much for the second match on the show, but then Beef makes me happy again, with the third most devastating move of all-time, (behind the HUSS! Boot and the Biggest, Baddest, Dopest, Too Hot Fo' TV Fo' Sheezy, If You Know What I Meanzy move in the world, the Phoenix Fury Legdrop) the Ass Punch, aka a top rope flying uppercut to the rectum, which I believe, if done with Hulk Hands, could make even Bob Sapp hurt. Beef naturally gets the win after that. You can read the post-match stuff in Jay's part, but I must say: Kurt Lauderdale looks EXACTLY like the guy that played "Frankie" on Boy Meets World. Seriously, Kurt needs to start reading poetry, and Vader needs to come into IWS to aid his long-lost son. As for the match, Mysterio looked like just some every-day spot monkey, but Beef was impressive. All kidding aside, he looks like he's got his stuff down pat, and maybe after a little seasoning, should start shopping around on some bigger opportunities. If anyone in IWS has a big future, it's Beef Wellington.
Grade: 70
Jake: People, it took the three of us all of ONE match to get completely sold on Beef Wellington, and Beef didn�t need crazy flippity shit or funky submission holds or to gig himself into oblivion. He�s got star written all over him.
Local French butterfaced whore Elsa Bangz[ hits the ring, complaining that she was suspended by Commissioner Joseph Fitzmorris for showing her tits. So, in a valiant display of female independence, she shows them, and if you�re a lonely, fat pimply loser who can�t get laid with a million-dollar check hanging in your zipper, well, HERE�S YOUR TWENTY BUCKS RIGHT HERE! We even get SPLIT-SCREEN REPLAYS of the topless Elsa running, as your commentators astutely note that the left one bounces higher than the right. Fitzmorris hits the ring and covers her up, but out comes President Seska, saying the evil commish is banned from being at ringside in the main event. Normally, I�d complain about needless use of TWO authority figures for a promotion that runs out of a bar, but an upskirt shot of the way hotter Seska shuts me up.
Jake: Hey, I�m taking offense to that lonely, fat pimply loser who can�t get laid comment. I don�t have pimples.
Right about now is where all off the comparisons to IWS and XPW are going to start. Was some woman showing her tits necessary? No. Do I mind? Not really, I�m a freaking teenage male for Satan�s sake. It�s just that people are going to think that IWS is tits and hardcore wrestling, and when you think of tits and hardcore wrestling, XPW is usually what comes to mind. (Well, when I think of XPW, multiple profane words usually comes to mind before I realize that I�m thinking about XPW and quickly try to forget about it.) Anyway, Elsa�s cans are real, the split screen of her running around topless are actually funny, and the ass-shot of the female commissioner doesn�t hurt either. Elsa gets a 5, but the cans get a 7. And yes, the left one does bounce higher then the right.
Yes, I know, the highest score I�ve given so far has been for boobs. I know. Shut up.
TG: So this wasn't just a sick joke that was played on me where Jay taped an XPW angle over some stuff on this tape?!?!? Seriously, this was really pathetic, and made the company come off really minor league and tacky. Let's just move on, please?
The Angry Aryans (Damien and Viking) vs. Faces of Death ((Face of Death and (Iceberg)
Jay: Well, I violently hate the Angry Aryans, just for the name. I seriously almost gave the whole tape an emphatic thumbs down just for these guys. FOD are two interchangeable guys in facepaint who look vaguely like Homicide. The match is based on �racial anger� so I hate it even more. One of the FOD hits that double-powerbomb into a DVD sequence in No Mercy onto a mousetrap board. One of the Eurotrash hit a senton on the board, and they team up for the Hit Squad cannonball move. Some 2 x 4 shots by the FOD, segued into a STYLES CLASH? What the fuck? The grab the other racist fucker and put him through a flaming table for three. The American History X rejects promise a surprise for next month. Joy.
What in the bloody blue fuck was this? Offensive gimmicks, blatantly ripping off signature moves, maybe four wrestling moves total, weapons spots worse than most New Jack matches- huh, XPW: Canada style. Pick a number and add a negative to it. Argh, words can�t properly convey how much I hated this.
Winners: FOD
Rating: -**
Jake: This match was about four minutes, and all about the table spot at the end, albeit the spot was impressive. Stacking Viking on a table on top of a flaming table with firecracker (giving the illusion that the table is exploding, which is cool as shit) before one of the FOD dive off onto him is a nasty bump, though it�s pretty much no sold. Then again, nothing else in the match was really great, or even made sense. When I do sentons onto mousetraps boards, I usually make sure that the board is face down, so that the mousetraps are going to hurt my opponent. The barbed wire 2x4 broke after a couple shots, and looked cheap as shit anyway. Listen backyarders: if you�re going to do a barbed wire weapon, use a lot of barbed wire. Cover the thing. Using about ten feet and having it loosely wrapped around the weapons makes it look like crap. And Jay, the FOD look like two Homicides in Dudley gear, with the talent of New Jack. This gets a 2.0, for the good table spot and the killing whitey that occurred.
TG: Again, IWS sends a backyardish, minor league act to the ring, in the Angry Aryans. That should be Rule One in any promoter lesson book: don't promote racism, anti-semitism, or anything of the sort. All it does is tell people it's okay to be ignorant assholes, even if the racists are the heels. The match itself was like an APA/Kaientai squash from 2000: a bunch of big power moves, little offense for the little guys, and everyone looks bad in the process. The garbage crap didn't add much to it either. The fact that they pulled out mouse traps and exploding, flaming tables at all is retarded, but this early in the show?!??!?!?! There is such a thing as building to a big spot, ya know? Can everyone involved in this move to Siberia, or at least someplace without cameras to tape their bad "wrestling". By the way, this Iceberg is NOTHING compared to the monster in Wildside.
Grade: 52
( �The Natural� Steve Royds vs. El Generico
Jay: What do you do with a severely blown up half-trained spot wrestler who just had a piss-poor match? Put him in ANOTHER match of course. Royds jumps Generico to start with stomps and jabs, but Generico comes back with a dropkick and some weak forearms. More punching by ROOOYDS, and he no-sells some clotheslines by Generico and hits a high knee. Punch Punch Punch Punch- BACK BODY DROP- A WRESTLING MOVE! Royds then RIPS off the great Beef Wellington with pushup covers. Bret Hart elbow by Royds misse, and Generico comes back with an ARMDRAG OF DEATH, and there�s a bush league miscommunication spots as Generico drops down, and Royds kinda stands there. Generico makes the comeback with some weak punches as even the Motley Crue notice there�s ZERO force behind them. Impressive Superfly splash from 3/4ths of the way across the ring gets two on Royds, and our high-pitched hero bails. Generico with a springboard Asai moonsault to the outside, and it has an UGLY landing as Generico�s feet land in Royds� face. Generico then slips on a CLOTHESLINE, and Royds goes to town on him for it. Generico overshoots a moonsault, but Royds makes an amazing catch, and Generico turns it into a spinout DDT for two. We gets some more �cockplay� as Manny likes to call it,, and Generico gets turned inside out with a discus clotheline, and we get ANOTHER back body drop, and nails the Point of the Needle (Angel�s Wings) for two. Royds and Generico then stare at each other like idiots, followed by cock shot number 6 from Generico, and he brings out that devastating implement of death- the GARBAGE CAN. Two can shots (which somehow merit a replay) and Generico sets up for a SOMERSAULT VAN TERMINATOR for two. HI-5~! hit the ring, seeking vengeance on Royds for costing Kamikaze the opener. 5D is foiled, and Royds nails the Anabolic Drop (TKO) on Kamikaze, but Generico sneaks a rollup for �another fucking victory for LaSalle�s fucking fucktoy.� Fuck.
Kurt Lauderdale hits the ring again and PLANTS the 246-pound Royds with a ONE-HANDED chokebomb as Hi-5 sets up a table. Lauderdale then DRILLS Royds with the Career Killer (Fireman�s Carry Spinebuster) through the table. PLAY THE FUCKING MUSIC~!
No CZW fan should EVER EVER AGAIN complain about Ric Blade after seeing El Generico fumble his way through two matches, blowing simple leapfrog spots and almost caving his opponents� face in. The match was basically brawl, spot, botched spot- something every beginner in bumfuck USA with a modicum of athletic talent can do. Indy promoters and aspiring wrestlers should take note: hardcore smart mark fans are NOT impressed by top rope highspots anymore. It�s why the SATs are losing bookings and Blade is a joke. Unless you can do it EXTRAORDINARILY well, like Red, Deranged, Insane Dragon or Jason Cross, you�re better off learning how to hit hard, structure a match, and work the mat. Adds years to your career too. Back to Generico, it appears the ONLY reason this guy is over is his Bouncing Souls theme music. He doesn�t look like a wrestler, doesn�t wrestle like a trained wrestler, and does NOTHING spectacular. STOP PUSHING HIM. Royds had some crisp (albeit stolen) moves, but this was his apparently his last match, and sadly the only time ROOOYYDS will be heard is in his bedroom-by himself.
Winner: El Generico
Rating: *1/4
Jake: For a guy who�s gimmick is all about steroids, Royds isn�t that ripped, or even that unnaturally large. Again, blah power moves from Royds, blah flippity stuff from Generico, a swank Somersault Van Terminator from Generico (only other guy I�ve seen do that is Ruckus, though I�m sure more can), another run-in (but more Beef, so it�s all good) and that�s the match.
Generico is over because of the gimmick, plain and simple. He throws in some crazy spots, but doesn�t offer much else. He�s all fluff and no substance, and when you�re thrown into an environment where you have to show you�ve got the goods in the ring, his weaknesses take over. When I saw this tape, I was hoping that Generico and XES69 would be more then spot monkeys. So far, we�re 0 for 1. And we didn�t even get the high pitched �Rooooooooooooooooooooyds!� chant. In other words, disappointing.
For those of you keeping score, we�ve had four matches tonight. Three of them have had some kind of interference or brouhaha in them, and the other one was the hate crime brawl. Not a great track record for any promotion, much less an indy. Clean finishes = good. Lots of crap surrounding the match = WWE. And since I�m an indy fan, WWE = bad. I�ve got a stereotype to protect, you know.
This gets a 2, since it wasn�t as long or as tedious as the other Generico match tonight. But it still wasn�t that great, or even good.
And I�ll bash Ric Blade all I want Jay.
TG: Again, what's with the yardtard getting two matches? Geez, you'd think they would learn after his first terrible performance of the night that he's not an iron man, let alone a credible wrestler. Royds looked like he might be credible enough to put on a watchable match, but of course, you have El Assholio to pull it down. Everything that could go wrong did. Mis-communication, botched spots, no storytelling...all the favorites. Post-match, Beef Hunter, Kid Matthews, and Frankie the Goon (watch Boy Meets World to get the joke) beat up Royds for costing Kamikaze his match, and cement the fact that Lauderdale is a huge mofo. Jay's rant on why Generico should go far, far away describes perfectly why we all should hate his work. I really disagree with the comment about Jason Cross only being able to hit highspots really well, as I've seen him perform excellent, structured matches, and break out of the spot monkey pack. I wish Generico, and everyone like him, would go under a giant rock, which I would then roll over and crush them with. Moving on.....
Grade: 53
Jake: Who�s Topanga then? Don�t say Elsa, though the racks are about the same�..
Jay: Seska, she�s got that sexy intellectual thing going.
TG: Topanga isn't there. She's at home, doing some weird tribal dance.
(Arsenal and (Evil Ninja #2 vs. (XES (pronounce it like excess) 69 and (Hardcore Ninja #1
Jay: Now THIS is the match I wanted to see on this tape, as these four are regarded as premier talents in the IWS. The Hardcore Ninjas and Arsenal have both made appearances in CZW, as those three had a short tag match at the first Tournament of Death and the Ninjas fought each other at Process of Elimination. The Ninjas were not impressive in CZW, due to stage fright, but this hasn�t diminished their reputation up North as sick, sick freaks. XES 69 (formerly Mathy69) is a relative newcomer to IWS, but they hype on him has been incredible, as he�s reported to have some eye-popping spots for a guy his size (think a Canadian Jason Cross). Arsenal is basically the �franchise� of IWS, regarded as the most solid worker in the company, capable of adapting to ultraviolence and straight wrestling equally well.
The backstory in a nutshell: The Ninjas turned on each other following a loss to Hi-5, and when Arsenal and XES needed tag partners for this Dream Partners match, they got tapped. Now here�s what irks me: why would someone name themselves EVIL Ninja? I mean, I�m pretty sure no one consciously sees THEMSELVES as evil, and in fact Evil Ninja probably sees his partner as the bad guy, so wouldn�t he call himself GOOD Ninja? Naming a guy �Evil Ninjas� is an example of what Roger Ebert calls �Level One thinking.�
Anyway, this is a TLC match, judging from the tables, ladders and chairs already in the ring. XES tosses Ninja 1 into the heels, and HERE COMES THE INSANITY! XES foils a sunset flip powerbomb to the floor by Evil Ninja, and springs in only to get DECAPITATED with an Arsenal lariat. Brawling on the floor as XES lays in some stiff boots to Arsenal, and HERE COME THE NINJAS with stereo running somersault planchas on both guys! The Ninjas go into the crowd as Evil Ninjas PLASTERS Ninja 1 with chairs. You can FEEL the hate from these two. Back in, Arsenal nails XES in the leg when he tries for a superkick, XES tries to dropkick the chair in his face on the recovery but misses and we get a SMASHMOUTH by Arsenal. The faces floor the heels and lay a ladder across them, but XES blows a MAJOR spot by slipping on a split-legged moonsault TWICE. He recovers nicely with the most HIGH IMPACT SWANTON I�VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE, ONTO THE LADDERS! Seriously, it�s like he cut through air! Arsenal with a neckbreaker through two chairs on Ninja 1, but a flying splash through those chairs misses. Ninja 1 with a crossbody on Ninja 2, and he follows up with a victory roll for two. XES and Ninja 1 now have Arsenal on top of a ladder on the top rope, and they pick up the ladder and DROP IT. Oh man, his ribs are bruised at best. 69 sets up a ladder in the ring, climbs up- 15 FOOT MOONSAULT OF THE LADDER ONTO ARSENAL TO THE FLOOR- AND HE LANDS ON HIS FEET! Ho-lee shit. XES isn�t done- ANOTHER AIR CUTTER SENTON OFF THE LADDER ON THE FLOOR! No fear. Back in, Evil Ninja DRILLS Ninja 1 in the face with a ladder, and they quickly stumble into the crowd. XES sets up a ladder diagonally with assistance from a chair. He sets up Arsenal on the top-SUPERPLEX THROUGH THE DIAGONAL LADDER. Arsenal has gotta be bleeding internally, and judging from the blood on his mouth, it looks like he is. Guppie says �this match is making my nipples hard� and I�m inclined to agree. The Ninjas are back, and here�s a senton on a ladder to Ninja 1 by the evil Ninja. The Ninjas are somehow both caught in a Tree of Woe now, and Arsenal and XES both go for Van Terminators- and THEY CUT EACH OTHER OFF WITH CLOTHESLINES IN MID-AIR! Contrived but cool. The Ninjas are back up again, and Evil Ninja delivers a double ARM Tornado DDT on XES. Ninja 1 tries to press slam Evil Ninja onto a chair bridge, but doesn�t have the strength and Evil Ninja kinda grazes it. They repeat the spot cleanly, which normally I don�t like, but the spot looked good so I�ll let it go. Superplex by Arsenal to XES on chairs, as heel manager Mike Patterson (a creepy guy dressed in orange who looks vaguely like Randy Quaid) brings in a table. XES kicks a ladder in Arsenal�s ribs and sets up another one. Arsenal catches him as he climbs- DEATH VALLEY DRIVER OFF THE LADDER-RIGHT ON HIS NECK! Now that�s just wrong. The Ninjas have some wacky shit planned- MICHINOKU DRIVER OFF THE LADDER THROUGH A TABLE ON THE FLOOR BY NINJA 1. In the ring, MathySault (Spanish Fly, but a fallaway slam) connects, followed up by Rolling Northern Lights Suplexes-COUNTERED INTO A SPIKE DDT BY ARSENAL! Arsenal sets XES up on the top-SUPER FISHERMAN�S BUSTER THROUGH THE TABLE! You better believe it�s over, baby! Post match, Arsenal demands a title shot- GIVE IT TO HIM.
FINALLY, the IWS lives up to its reputation on this tape, as both teams brought the fucking hate to each other and pulled off some amazing violent and cool-looking spots. Some glaring blown spots prevent this from hitting four stars, but this was pure entertainment. The hype on XES 69 and Arsenal is REAL. Somebody in the US book them NOW.
Winners: Arsenal and Evil Ninja 2
Rating: ***1/4
Jake: Brutal, and in the positive sense. Yeah, it was a spotfest, but that�s what you get when you have this kind of gimmick, so you sit back and accept it. That being said, it was an impressive spotfest with impressive spots that I haven�t seen before, and that�s good. Even the two spots that were blown in this match (XES�s inability to hit a split-legged moonsault twice; Ninja #1 trying to press slam Ninja #2 off the apron onto a ladder/Erector set construction), they easily more then made up for them (XES nailing a sick Senton Atomico DIRECTLY onto the ladder; Ninja #1 press slamming Ninja #2 off the top onto said construction, which made the bump that much nastier). XES69 was the other guy I wanted to see some substance behind, and while I didn�t get a chance to in this match, I have positive hopes in his case. Even if he does turn out to be a spot monkey, he has the athleticism to be carried well enough, a la RVD. XES easily came out looking the best in this matchup. Again, he looks just like Jason Cross, and I�d love to see a match between those two.
Arsenal held his own in there, and it looked like he was he ring general in there, preventing stuff from getting too out of control. No DVD2K1 (Electric Chair DVD, nasty as it sounds), which made me sad for a moment. The Ninjas were just there to beat each other up, which they definitely succeeded at. None of them disappointed me, not in the slightest.
The highest praise that I can give this match is that it left me wanting to see more of these four. I know XES69 and Arsenal have had singles matches vs. each other, and I want to see those, to see if those two are as good as I know they are. And I wanted to see the Ninja vs. Ninja No Rope Barbed Wire deathmatch from Freedom To Fight (the event after this one) even before seeing this match, but I want to see it even more now.
This gets a 7.5 from me. Everything worked, everyone looked good, and it left me wanting more. It did its job.
TG: For a spotfest, this was impressive. Not as impressive as, say, the SAT/Divine Storm & XL match from CZW's Take One, but it was pretty good. The guys went all out in willingly killed themselves for the viewing public's pleasure, and I applaud them for it. They might not be able to walk in a couple of years, but I applaud them for it. It wasn't as brutal as the Wildside Tag Team Title ladder match from Hardcore Hell 2003, but these guys were suicidal, all right. XES69 is not nearly as good as Jason Cross, as Jay said, but he's built like Cross, and has tons of potential. The only guy on this show that I thought looked better than him was my new favorite Canadian, Beef Wellington. The Ninjas (screw the "z") have tons of hype, but didn't do enough to leave an impression. Arsenal looked pretty good, though I didn't think he was as impressive as Jay did. Again, if you want to see four guys kill themselves for you, and look decent doing so, this is your ticket. If you don't, go eat ice cream, or something.
Grade: 74
IWS Heavyweight Championship Match: (Dru Onyx vs. (Green Phantom�
Jay: Green Phantom was the fourth guy in that CZW Tournament of Death tag match, and is the IWS champion. Dru Onyx is a 300 pound black guy from Barbados, and for some reason the announcers love to talk about his um, large endowment. This match is 2/3 falls, and the culmination of a Austin/McMahon style storyline, as the Phantom and backer Joseph Fitzmorris pulled out all the stops-torture, kidnapping, arrest- to prevent Onyx from getting the shot.
Basic brawling, posing and stalling to start, and Phantom tries to finish early with a schoolboy, but Onyx comes back with a cross armbreaker, reversed for 2. Neckbreaker by Phantom. Onyx misses an avalanche and Phantom hits a side suplex, and goes back to the arm with a crossface. Phantom then inexplicably switches gears with a leglock, but goes back to the arm with a surfboard and a camel clutch. Implant DDT by Phantom gets 2. Second rope legdrop misses though, and Onyx comes back with headbutts and a Vader Bomb for two. Onyx heads to the top rope- cut off by the GREEN MIST~! Phantom capitalizes with the Phantasm (crucifix Michinoku Driver) to win the first fall.
Another cover gets two, and Phantom lays in some chairshots. Sabu-style splash off the chair, and a SUPLEX ON THE CHAIRS BENDS THEM IN HALF, but it only gets two. They head into the crowd, and Onyx flings Phantom into a pile of empty chairs. FALLAWAY SLAM onto the chair rows! I know from personal experience that can screw up your back permanently. It only gets two though. More chairs and crap as we get a tour of the arena- a pretty nice conversion from a nightclub I might add. Onyx gets whipped INTO THE TAPE TABLE, WIPING IT THE FUCK OUT. We head into the Men�s Room now, and Phantom SWIRLIES ONYX. Call it a comedy spot, but I�d sure as hell tap if I had my face shoved in a shit-stained toilet. We�re finally back by the ring, and Phantom sets up a table by the apron. Phantom gets laid out on it though, and Onyx looks for a scaffold splash, but Phantom brings him down with chairshots. Onyx is on the table- PHANTOM TRIPLE JUMP LEGDROP THROUGH THE TABLES! Nice execution, but only two. Here comes another table , Phantom tries a piledriver from the apron but it�s cut off with Ground Zero, a modified sidewalk slam (well, I don�t see anything modified, but it�s the thought that counts) through the table for the second fall. We�re even at 1-1.
Second Ground Zero is cut off with a Russian Legsweep, and HERE COME THE THUMBTACKS! ROAD DOGG-STYLE PUMPHANDLE SLAM ON THE TACKS by Phantom gets two, and he follows up by STOMPING TACKS into him. Logical, violent spot that I�ve never seen used before. Samoan Drop on the tacks by Onyx for two! Fat Splash gets two. SAITO SUPLEX ON THE TACKS gets two, and I�m starting to cringe now. BALDOBOMB ON THE TACKS by Phantom gets two, as the announcers let loose with the f-bombs. SUPERPLEX ON THE TACKS, and I�m amazed they�ve managed to pull off this many moves on the tacks. Second Ground Zero on the tacks gets two, and Onyx is busted open. Onyx heads to the top, and PHANTOM THROWS TACKS IN HIS EYES! Holy Fuck, I�m wincing in sympathy right now. Another suplex on the tacks. Phantom is getting frustrated, so he brings in a GLASS PANE. Not that pussy stuntman sugar glass either, a real fucking glass window. Wait a sec, THE ARSENAL has hit the ring with a cane! He canes Onyx to no effect, so Arsenal decides �fuck it� and canes Phantom instead. Onyx takes advantage with a POWERBOMB THROUGH THE FUCKING GLASS PANE for the academic pin close to the half hour mark, and we have a NEW IWS CHAMPION!
Well, this match seemed to lack the intensity a be-all end-all blowoff should have, and there were one or two sloppy sequences, but this was an excellently structured 2/3 falls match. I really enjoyed how they gradually amped up the violence, from straight wrestling to brawling to tacks and glass. Pretty good psychology also as moves that worked previously were cut off or ineffective on the second try. The Arsenal run-in was pretty pointless, and I�d prefer face champions win clean, but it was to set up a future match, so it�s somewhat excusable. A well-paced, and most importantly for this type of product, violent main event to send the fans home happy. The only match I rated higher on second viewing.
Winner: Dru Onyx
Rating: ***1/2
Jake: The good: this definitely wasn�t a bad match. The bad: it also wasn�t a great match, which leaves it around the solid-to-good level, which isn�t necessarily bad. The problem is, this is the main event, something which they�ve been building up to for a while, by the way in which the announcers hype everything that�s happened on Onyx in-between profanities. If a main event match that has been building up for months can only reach a solid-to-good level, there�s a problem.
I appreciated the fact that the two of them attempted to wrestle, as the first actual wrestling holds were used during the first fall. However, nothing got worked over, nothing helped to build any suspense for the later falls. In the larger picture, it�s kinda like the RVD/Sabu vs. Hayabusa/Shinzaki tag match from Heatwave �98; beginning mat work which means nothing to the overall scheme of the match. That Phantom was able to hit his finisher on Onyx, who looked to outweight Phantom by 30-50 pounds, and to hit the move seamlessly is very impressive.
The second fall let us take a tour of Le Skratch with Phantom and Onyx as our guides. There�s the bar area, there�s the men�s room, there�s the wall urinal, there�s a guy�s head in a toilet. Back towards the area designated for wrestling, Phantom hits Sabu�s triple jump legdrop through a table, which is impressive since Phantom is a big guy, about 6�5� legit. Best comparison I can come up with is when Shawn Kemp took off from the free throw line about a decade and a hundred pounds ago for Kemp. Announcers say they�ve never seen anything like that before, which makes me want to hit myself in the head with a hammer. Onyx wins with a side slam off the apron through another table for the victory. C�mon, another big guy who uses a side slam for a finisher? At least use a powerbomb or something as a finisher, a side slam is just poor.
The third fall, and it�s party time. Phantom dumps a bagful of tacks into the ring, I estimate around two thousand, offhand. They take turns dumping each other into the sharp objects. While Jay was concerned with Phantom threw tacks into Onyx�s eyes, I really wasn�t. Unlike broken glass, tacks need to have force applied for them to really do any damage, and Phantom didn�t throw the tacks that hard. At worst, Onyx would just have a tiny scratch, even if a stray tack did hit him on the eye. The Arsenal run-in seemed pointless, but the finishing powerbomb through the pane of glass was absolutely nasty as hell and a fitting end to the match. It was really the only time in the whole match that you got a feeling that these two guys hate each other.
Phantom, even in a losing effort, came out the best here. He showed his versatility, able to pull off power moves on an opponent much larger then him, yet still able to do something agile. He brings the intensity, at least in his introduction. I think if he would be able to get just a little larger he would be able to attract attention from the WWE, though that�s not always a good thing. Onyx moves well for a big guy, though he looked tired by the third fall. Going half an hour may have not been the smartest thing for him to do, a 15-20 minute match may have been better for him. He bailed on a top-rope DDT into the tacks, though I can�t say I blame him. If he can get a better finisher then a side slam, he�ll be in business.
Again, this is a good match. However, it�s not a great match, and I think that is what these two guys were aiming for, with the roster coming down to the ring during the last fall. It never got that epic feel which the feud was aiming for, which is a shame.
I give this a 6. They tried, and while they didn�t fail, they didn�t succeed.
TG: I definitely agree on this one lacking intensity. It lacked it BIG-TIME. I mean, Green Phantom kidnapped, got arrested, and a bunch of other evil shit to Drew, and all he can do is stand there, throw a couple of punches every now and then, and have no facial expression whatsoever? I'm not digging that. I don't mind deathmatches, but they have to be well-paced, well-executed, and senseable. They got the pace down, as the bumps weren't all clumped together, and they kept getting bigger and bigger. However, in between the well-paced sick bumps was a bunch of boring, plodding, kick-punch crap. They tried doing some mat stuff in the first fall, but it didn't come off well. The moves at the end of the first fall were executed poorly, and looked bad. What I really hated was that, in the blow-off to this huge feud, where these two are supposed to be beating the holy hell out of each other in order to obtain the top prize in the world, in their eyes, they did freaking WWE hardcore comedy spots, namely a swirlee. It came off really minor-league. I hated the finish, as Arsenal's run-in didn't make sense, and only distracted from the goal at hand, which was the huge glass pane bump. Phantom looked alright, and Onyx looked bad. But, in my eyes, this is nowhere as good as Jay thinks it is.
Grade: 61
Final Thoughts
Jay: I�ve heard a lot of hype on the message boards saying �this is better than CZW.� Well, it�s not. In fact, some of the undercard is so damn pathetic it gives the worst of XPW a run for its money. However, the potential for an excellent product is there. The production quality and presentation is top-notch, superior to Smart Mark and RF Video. I�m a big fan of ICP/JCW style commentary, and I�ll confess I love the comedy aspect of wrestling, so the commentary was able to keep even the bad matches enjoyable for me. Arsenal and XES 69 have some major league potential, I�ve become a huge fan of Hi-5 (Beef especially) and with some more seasoning they�ll be a major force too. If they just cut out the yardtardish crap that permeates the product (El Generico, Angry Aryans) it could really boost their reputation. As for the tape itself, it�s really up to you if three ***-level matches on a two hour tape, sandwiched with some serious Wrestlecrap is worth a buy or not. I have a feeling this is far from their best offering, so hopefully Llakor will show mercy on us for this review and send along another tape.
Recommendation: Mildly recommended.
ROOOOYYYYDS!
Jake: Stop that. Anyway, did IWS live up to the hype it�s received and my expectations? Not really. The ladder match was the shining point of this tape, and the main event is still a good match even if it doesn�t achieve its goal. Unfortunately, the good stuff on this tape is heavily weighted down by the bad stuff, the racist angle, the sloppy wrestling in the undercard.
We�ve got to remember, IWS is still fairly young. Early CZW blew chunks. Early XPW blew chunks. Most feds, save ROH, have to go through growing pains, and IWS is no exception. I�m sure what the fed will produce in 2004, 2005 will blow away what we�re seeing now. I�m also sure that the tape experience can�t compare to the live experience, as is the case with most feds.
The announcing sucks. There�s no way I can say that any clearer. It comes off as juvenile and immature, and to me it brings down the matches, instead of helping to build them up. If IWS is ever looking to really expand and grow, the announcing is going to have to become 100x more professional.
XES69 and Beef Wellington came out looking the best, with Arsenal and Green Phantom behind. If the first two could work regularly in the U.S., they would become names on the indy circuit, especially XES. They might not be in the same breath as guys like Low-Ki, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, etc�, but still notable. For now, they�re in Canada, which might as well be a million miles away to some fans. I�d love to see XES69 vs. Jason Cross, especially in Best of the Best 4.
A recommendation for this tape is something I really can�t do. I haven�t seen enough IWS in order to say �This is good, this isn�t as good, watch A before you watch B.� The selling point of this tape is the ladder match, and as good a match it was, it�s not good enough to sell the entire tape by itself.
Everything being said, I still want to see more IWS. The Ninjas No Rope Barbed Wire Match is something I want to get my grubby paws upon, and more Arsenal, XES 69, and Beef Wellington is definitely good. They still have growing to do, but the future does look bright for this fed.
TG: Yeah, this does not live up to the hype. If anything, the hype made the product look worse than it was. The production was excellent. It blew away just about everyone else's on the indies. Beef Wellington and XES69, once they get some seasoning, really need to look into getting some U.S. bookings, as I know they'd be able to at least make a small splash, though I really believe Beef's going to be something special. The ladder match and Beef/Mysterio are the only matches on here that I think wouldn't be crapped on at any larger-scale U.S. indy shows, though the deathmatch fans might be into the main event. Onto the negatives: the announcing was atrocious. There's a difference between humor and beating jokes into the ground; those guys should learn it. Between that, not knowing names for half the moves, repeatedly going off-topic, spouting dumb, inside jokes, and having rather non-announcer voices (yes, there's such a thing as an "announcer voice"), they came off horrible. There was some really pathetic stuff (F.O.D., Generico, Aryans, topless angle), and the bad, sadly, overrode the good. I wish I could give this a positive review, but I can't. Recommendation to avoid. Hopefully the next tape's better.
For more information on the Internet Wrestling Syndicate, as well as weekly webcast shows and their famous video packages, head over to http://www.syndicatewrestling.com or contact [email protected] This tape, as well as other offerings from IWS and other major independent promotions, is available at http://www.emaxwrestlingtapes.com
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