 |
|
Home
Wrestling
WWE
TNA
Tape Reviews
Other
Sports
Basketball
Football
Baseball
Hockey
International
Entertainment
Movies / TV
Music
Gaming
Technology
Books / Comics
" The Gravel Pit "
|
|
|
|
Wrestling
Shades of Gray: The Return
Posted by Stephen Gray on Jul 21, 2003, 15:16
|
|
Shades of Gray is back, kids!
The hardest thing about writing this thing is coming up with something to fill 2000 words. After all, that was the bare minimum when I was a rookie who had to work to keep his spot over at the old Smarks website.
Then it hit me. I don�t write for the god damn Smarks anymore. I was asked to write for TSM, I didn�t ask them. I can write 50 word columns if I want! I have total freedom! Maybe not the best way to rationalize it, but it works.
So, where have I been, and why am I back (besides the above realization?). After my last column, I became very busy with work and was struggling to come up with something to write that would be long enough to publish (but I�m over that). A few times leading up to today, I had this strong urge to write, but then just didn�t. Then, the other day, I was in the Forums, talking about Dames� Kane column, and BAM!, I decided to write another column. And another 3 - 11 or more. Yep, I�ve already planned ahead for several more columns, giving me no shortage of ideas. Huzzah to me, and hooray for TSM.
Speaking of Dames and Kane: A few days ago, Dames (much like Clarissa) was able to Explain All regarding the Kane storyline. That reminded me of my very first column over on The Smarks, written during the Katie Vick era. Many people were questioning how someone who was supposed to have been hiding himself away from society after a house fire was able to go to a party, get drunk, and get into a fatal car accident. I provided the answer...
Kane, Undertaker�s brother, is dead. He passed away in the fire that killed Taker�s parents. Paul Bearer�s good friend, let�s call him �Mr. Jacobs� is alive and well. One day 10 years ago, Mr. Jacobs attended a party with Katie Vick which resulted in a tragic car accident, ending the life of miss Katie Vick. Mr. Jacobs suffered an arm injury, but also got a few nicks and cuts on his face. He thought it would be best to hide these hideous deformities by wearing a mask, even though it really wasn�t that bad. Well, sure enough, after Mr. Jacobs apologized to the Vicks, he decided to run and hide, disguising his face under a mask in case they ever pressed charges. Mr. Jacobs decided to lay low at his friend Paul�s house for 5 years. Fast-forward to 1997, where Paul Bearer is now on the outs with The Undertaker. Paul decided that Mr. Jacobs owed him for letting him live in his house for 5 years, and requested Jacobs pretend to be Undertaker�s burned brother. Jacobs, already used to wearing a mask to conceal his identity and hide his scars, agreed, pretending he couldn�t talk and had to wear a full bodysuit to cover the burns. Over time, the man now known as Kane started growing beyond just being Taker�s evil brother. He decided no one would question his ability to talk or wear suits showing off his unburned flesh. At SummerSlam 2000, The Undertaker ripped off his mask. Not wanting Taker to see his face and realize this whole thing might be one big lie, he ran out of the building, covering his face, getting a new mask. Fast forward, again, to 2002, where Kane has come back totally new, forgetting about his storied past with the Undertaker. He thought he could get away with it, but Undertaker figured it out. Undertaker rushed over to Paul�s house and demanded to know what was going on. Paul spilled the beans, and Undertaker put his differences with The Game aside to secretly expose the truth about the Kane impostor, live on television.
THAT, or WWE writers just assumed the only fans left don�t know the Kane back story or are too devoted to leave. And hey, they just might be right.
I guess that doesn�t fit the current continuity, but nothing about Kane does. Oh well. On the subject of Kane, I like his current character. I may be in the minority as far as Smart opinions on it go, but I like the crazy monster who really isn�t burned angle. Yes, lighting Jim Ross on fire was retarded and may have killed what was otherwise an interesting interview, but as long as the Monster is kept the focus and the silliness of lighting stuntmen on fire is kept to a minimum (or better yet, kept off TV all together), I�m digging it. This brings me to...
Raw Preview - July 21, 2003
I lowered the bar on my expectations for Raw LONG ago, so I usually enjoy it under the criteria I�m a wrestling fan to the point where even bad wrestling is decent enough for me (like pizza!), but I�m really looking forward to tonight�s show. They�ve hyped it enough, with an appearance by Linda McMahon (who only shows up for big angles), Kane vs RVD, and Michaels vs. Jericho. There will most likely be angles involving HHH and Goldberg (who was pinned~! at a house show last night by Trips). The underside to all of this is that if they are banking on the main event to be the draw, the undercard will probably be rushed matches that suck, resulting in me saying �well that was bad.. but Michaels/Jericho is coming up, hooray!�. Detailed thoughts...
Kane vs. Rob Van Dam: They�ve wrestled before with unspectacular results, but this meeting is one they�ve been building to, though not necessarily strongly, since February. This will also mark the televised debut of Unmasked Monster Kane as a wrestler. My main concern with this match is that last night at a house show, Kane destroyed RVD in under a minute, and if they want to push the monster thing, that�s the way to go on TV as well, but RVD shouldn�t be used as the fall guy. Maven? Yes. Face Rosey? God yes. Hurricane? Sadly, yes, but I wish he would have had a better push after his great stuff with The Rock. RVD? No! Have him lose, that makes sense, but this is a guy that used to main event and in theory should main event again. Don't be squashing him in 30 second TV matches, especially one you�re advertising in advance and should try and make a good match out of it.
Linda McMahon Angle: Well, I hope they do this before Michaels and Jericho instead of making it the Main Event Angle, but I won�t hold my breath. I have no valid prediction of what will happen here, other than Linda possibly announcing Goldberg vs. HHH for SummerSlam (which doesn�t really warrant her appearance). I don�t see them going through with the Stone Cold GM firing, and in fact I think she might fire Bischoff as GM (hey, isn�t �Eric� supposed to be on TNA on Wednesday? Hmm....). Maybe Shane is coming back to do something. We�ll see tonight.
Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho: I�m hoping this is the real main event of Raw, and that Jericho gets the win. Since they�ve been promoting it for 2 weeks and calling it a WrestleMania Rematch, you�d THINK it would at least get 15 minutes, but that would make it a minute longer than Flair and Michaels got on PPV, so we�ll see.
I look forward to reading Retro Rob�s thoughts on Raw on Saturday in Retro Rob's Booking Report, a great idea for a column. Hats off to Rob.
Some News
TSM has another new writer - check out HartFan86�s Heat Recap. Bobby may be better known as the Forums HartFan86, who in turn may be better known as �the guy with the awesome sig photos that say HartFan86 in them�.
Zach Gowen was on Byte This on Thursday. A caller asked what he thought about being pushed so hard so fast, and is response was that he had hoped he would just come in and compete in the cruiserweight division. He didn�t sound overly confident of his current role.
Last night on Wrestling Observer Live, Dave Meltzer announced that a press conference will happening Tuesday to officially announce Goldberg vs. Triple H at SummerSlam. As I mentioned earlier, Goldberg was actually pinned at a house show in what was said to be a decent match that needed work before going on PPV.
After much questioning and speculation as to how WWE would logically do the pre-show for SmackDown! PPVs, it�s been confirmed that this weekend, Heat will air in Velocity�s time slot and Velocity will be a live show to hype the Vengeance PPV. Most people pretty much predicted or assumed that would happen, but were unsure if WWE would bother to make the effort to make sense of it all.
Lastly, John Cena is apparently releasing a CD/DVD containing all his raps from SmackDown!. Sounds like a winner to me, I�ll be sure to download it once it�s ripped.
Summer Movie Report Card
I must clarify something right away - I am not a movie reviewer and have been told I have awful taste in both TV and movies. These are just my opinions on the movies I�ve seen so far, being graded between F and A. Most of the so-called reviews will be very short blurbs. Shades of Gray is all about throwing together different things, hence movie opinions being in a wreslting column and what not blah blah blah let�s go...
X-Men 2: X-Men United: The god damn X-Men were already united! They had to unite with Magneto and Mystique! It should have been �Mutants United�! ARGH Stupid Fox thinking people would be confused with the title X2. *shakes fist at FOX*. Anyway, this was the first �summer movie� I saw and was probably the best. A very enjoyable movie that may (or may not) have set up the plot of X3 quite nicely. A+
Matrix Reloaded: This is an interesting movie to review. At times, it�s very easy to dislike it (lots of mumbo jumbo, extended dancing scene, a plot about people trying to save an absolute shit hole of a city when they�d be happier living in ignorance) and others very easy to say �wow, this kicks ass!� (Burly Brawl or any fight scene, the highway chase). When I left the theatre the first time, I thought it was A - A+ range for sure. I saw it again at an IMAX theatre in Detroit, and was not as happy with it. However, that could be attributed to the almost total lack of sleep I had leading up to going (about 5 hours in a 48 hour period of time). A similar thing happened back in 2001 when I saw Fellowship of the Ring at 10:30pm, not knowing it was 3 hours, and not having any sleep. I started to get tired and blamed it on the movie, but future viewings show I was wrong. I still think The Two Towers was a lot better than FOTR, though, mostly because I was more familiar with the characters by the 2nd movie (yeah yeah, I know there are books I could have read). Anyway, this was supposed to be about Matrix Reloaded.. I�ll go with B+. I am looking forward to Revolutions, and apparently it will be shown at the IMAX starting the day it comes out.
Bruce Almighty: I told someone on IRC I liked this and a week later they called me a �god damn liar� for calling it good, but screw him. The people I saw it with as well as myself really enjoyed it and thought it was funny. There are elements in the film that I can see people as finding too cliched or whatever, but all I care about was the laughs I had. A
WWE Bad Blood: Not a movie, but the first PPV I had seen in a theatre since Judgment Day 2000. Perhaps it was just the theatre environment, but CIA of SWF fame and myself seemed to enjoy this show about 100x more than anyone else on the internet. I enjoyed the top 3 matches and didn�t find anything overly awful leading up to it, except the Redneck Triathlon (which the theatre loved) and RVD/Kane vs La Resistance. B-
Hulk: The logo doesn�t contain the word �The�, so neither do I. This is a hard movie to grade - I left the theatre with Drew_K thinking it was ok, with some really cool scenes, and we seem to agree it was ok. Then he totally turned heel on me and was talking about how much it sucked with someone else! Then, maybe under my own thought, maybe under the powers of suggestion, I realized I wasn�t that crazy about it either. It�s way too long and David Banner is an annoying character which just gets worse later into the movie. However, I can�t deny the desert fighting scene was awesome. C
Charlie�s Angels: Full Throttle: I hadn�t seen the first movie (still haven�t.. Rogers had it rented out when I went to pick it up with Terminator 1 and 2 last night) and had no intention of seeing this, but when myself, Canadian Intelligence Agent, and someone who doesn�t like wrestling so isn�t important wanted to see a movie, he kept saying �I�ve already seen Resident Evil� when we suggested 28 Days Later, so we saw this instead... and I liked it. Not especially smart or anything, but an enjoyable action movie with a good soundtrack. And Anglesault wrote a review for it too, so check that out. In fact, most of these movies have been reviewed in full elsewhere on the site, so check those out. B+.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines: Like most people, I assumed this movie was going to totally suck. Leading up to the movies release, I began to look forward to it though. Arnold seemed pretty happy about the movie in an interview with Maxim Goes To The Movies (although that had to be expected) and the last trailer they released made it seem pretty damn exciting. Still, I went to see it with low expectations. Maybe it was that low bar, but I left the theatre thinking I had seen a really great action movie. If someone had said that it would be a good idea to give T3 some funny comedy elements, I would have called them a retard, but man, that thing with the sunglasses at the beginning was great. Big ups to T3. A.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: I saw this after reading all the bad reviews and therefore was expecting myself to not like it.. and I didn�t. After the movie I talked to my friend about it, and started thinking maybe it wasn�t so bad after all. Then, in an opposite effect that happened with Hulk, I started thinking about it some more, and have realized it was actually a pretty decent movie. Some stupid stuff, but it was an enjoyable popcorn movie with some flaws. C+.
Fun with WWE.com Bios
Today - Scott Steiner
�At 6' 2", 255 pounds, Steiner is a suplex master and excellent mat technician. His skills and his brute strength suggest that Steiner will put some great accomplishments underneath his belt before his time in WWE is done!�
Well, I was planning on writing a Vengeance preview, but I think that has enough material to stand on it�s own for a separate column. It�s just a matter on whether or not I have time to write it before Sunday.
Until then, leave feedback in The Forums - WWE folder, Movies folder, Site Feedback Folder, wherever.
Leaving a private message for DrVenkman in the Forums works too.
Send Me E-Mail (Remove the X)
My Archives
| |
|
|
|
|
|
