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" The Gravel Pit "
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Wrestling
Fix the Championships: Part Two
Posted by Matt Ditaliano on Jul 26, 2003, 01:27
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People suck.
Now, as you may or may not know my nickname for La Resistance has been �The Frenchies.� I�ve used it in a joking manner for months now and no one has complained. Well, that was until yesterday. I checked my TSM account and saw that I actually had two pieces of mail. One was from an intelligent reader who suggested reforhming the superhero tandem of Storm and Hurricane. It really was an interesting idea and if they turn Helms heel again, it could work.
On that happy note, I moved on to my next letter (bypassing the porn) and was greeted by this gem.
"The Frenchies"??? Sigh. Just what we need, MORE bigotss telling us who we should like and dislike. No wonder 9/11 happened to you guys. Couldn't have happened to a better country.
After conferring with the powers that be, I decided to reprint this masterpiece in this weeks column for all my readers (all six of them) to read and evaluate. In fact, I�ll even supply the author, who goes by the nom de plume �Kublai Khan.� If you want to e-mail Mr. Kahn and critique his letter, his e-mail can be found here.
Well, that�s enough of that negative stuff. Let�s move on to the WWF titles! Well, actually I suppose that would be a pretty negative path as well. Oh well, I did promise to finish with the Smackdown titles today. In my humble opinion, the titles as a whole are in better shape than the titles on Raw, but there are more things wrong with each individual belt. I hope that at least made some sense. If it didn�t maybe the rest of the column will explain it. If not, what the hey, it won�t be any different than anything else I have written. Of course, I�m always open to constructive criticism, so send me some advice on how I can actually make some sense for a change.
Alrighty then.
Okay, the Smackdown column should in theory be shorter than the Raw side due to the Thursday show only having three belts right now. This will all change this Sunday, but I�m not gonna rant on a belt that hasn�t even debuted yet. That�s not to say they won�t screw the US title up, because they always seem to find a way. I�m not going to dwell on that today though because there is plenty to talk about with just three belts.
First and most important is The World Title. Since this is actually the linear title it should be the most important belt on either show. Well, no not at all. The best way to make a championship seem important is to put it on a competent and threatening individual that is tough to beat while still actually being beatable (Read: Not Triple H). As of this writing Brock Lesnar is something considerably less. I�m not talking about the intentionally gay house show spots he�s running with Angle because it�s not a TV problem. I�m not even talking about the much more subtly gay angle he and Kurt have had on Smackdown over the last month. Yes, that�s bizarre and I have no explanation for it. I�ve given up on figuring out what the creative team is smoking when they think up these scenarios.
The main problem with Brock is he isn�t really a strong champion any more. Correct me if I�m wrong, but I don�t think Brock has actually beaten anyone since he defeated Big Show a Judgment Day with the help of a forklift and Rey Mysterio. The last time he pinned someone was Cena at Backlash. If these dates are wrong, please, by all means, correct me. Ever since then he�s been in no decisions and jobbing on two occasions.
What kind of champion never wins? I honestly can�t think of one reason to have a champion that never wins. What on earth does it accomplish? And please, save me the �you have to build the Big Show!� drek. The Big Show could have been built into a credible contender without making the champion look like a fool. It�s almost like the booking team doesn�t know how to set up a feud with all participants looking strong-someone has to be a bumbling loser. I just don�t get it.
Both Brock and the championship can be saved rather simply. As a matter of fact, all three championships on Smackdown have problems that can be solved easily. The easiest and quickest way to solve this problem is to turn Lesnar heel. Bring Heyman to back to manage him if you have to. Have Heyman and Lesnar realign and spit in the faces of all the fans. There are two ways you can go with this. You can say that Lesnar began to get paranoid and hired Heyman as insurance. Or, you can say that this whole thing was Heyman�s plot. Everything that has happened with or to Lesnar has been carefully orchestrated since day one. The Heyman turn, managing the Big Show, managing Angle and everything leading up to Mania went exactly as planned. Heyman even worked Angle to the point where his neck broke so he�d be Brock�s for the taking at Mania. It could leave a strange �anything could happen� feel surrounding the show as well as a �Just who CAN we trust� theme. Lesnar starts his reign of terror that lasts all the way to Mania XX, where Angle thwarts Heyman and any of his cronies and finally dethrones the monster Brock to the cheers of a sold out Madison Square Garden.
The Tag Team Titles don�t really have a huge, glaring problem. Still, there IS a problem. The World�s Greatest Tag Team won the tag titles several weeks ago�and haven�t defended them yet. Haas and Benjamin have been wrestling in the main event for three weeks straight. This is very good for the champions but not so good for the championships. Why, exactly, aren�t they defending them? This isn�t Raw. There are more that two tag teams on Smackdown. On top of that there are tons of singles wrestlers who can be paired up and make fine tag teams to contend for the titles. And yet they still don�t defend them.
What makes this whole situation even more bizarre is that we have number one contenders for these belts. Number one contenders and no actual feud. Billy and Rey won a tag match to earn this status, but nothing ever happened between the two teams. We haven�t even seen one team cut a promo on the other. We�ve just had Billy and Rey winning tag matches while TWGTT competes in the main, never actually crossing paths. They are relying rather heavily on the quality of the match. They haven�t built it at all so I assume they just want people to be interested based on projected quality. Not really a good idea under normal circumstances, but maybe these four can do it. I wouldn�t bet against them.
After Vengeance they should start a feud with Angle and Lesnar. Maybe two weeks after the show, have them lose the belts to Angle and Lesnar to help build the world title feud a little. At Summerslam, in the semi-main event, TWGTT gets the belts back when Heyman and Lesnar turn on Angle and cost him the tag titles. Charlie and Shelton can now be three time tag champs, and boast that stat all over the place and cause feuds with other tag teams. They would occasionally lose the tag titles, just to win them back almost immediately. Eventually they would hit seven time tag team champions (around Mania XX) and brag about it mercilessly, until the returning Edge comes back and reunites with Christian, having the ultimate battle of the champions ladder match.
The Cruiserweight title faces a similar problem. Rey is the champion, but he never defends it because he is to busy fighting in tag matches and looking to obtain the tag titles. Why should anyone care about a title that Rey seemingly doesn�t care about? He�s way more interested in the tag titles.
On the bright side, they are building a feud. Billy Kidman is obviously going to turn heel on Rey and set up the cruiserweight title match at Summerslam. When he turns heel, I have no idea. But it should NOT be at this PPV. Have Rey blow it against Haas and Benjamin, pissing off Kidman and giving him a valid reason to turn later. Possibly even make the match at Summerslam early, by request of Kidman. Just make it a face vs. face match. Rey grows very suspicious of Kidman, who gets increasingly defensive. This goes on for maybe two or three weeks before Kidman throws Rey through something. Rey goes into Summerslam injured but bravely defeats the evil Kidman to hold on to his belt. Kidman is livid, and attacks Rey until he is run off by Ultimo Dragon starting a feud between them while Rey does filler feuds with Noble and Moore.
I guess I was wrong, this was just as long as the Raw column. I�ll never make guesstimates again.
Before I go, I wanted to remind you guys to look for me in the Crossfaces for Vengeance. I already did the first one, and I may be in the post-show edition.
We shall see.
Ditaliano
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