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SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (10/16/2003)
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on Oct 16, 2003, 21:33
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SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (10/16/2003)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
E-Mail of the Week: The Smart Mark gets the win this week for two reasons. One is his thought-provoking e-mail that you are about to read, and the other is based off of this pic.
God, I wish I knew how to use Paint Shop Pro. Anyway, here's the body of the e-mail.
JHawk,
It's me again, I thought I'd chime in once again with my 2c worth. I hope you found the attached pictures somewhat amusing. The subject heading was based on the pictures, by the way.
On the SmackDown! side of things:
Is it just me, or was professional wrestling (WWE, obviously) much better when egomanical segments featuring the overuse Vince McMahon (and the followers in his little posse) actually put on good matches that could rope in even non-wrestling fans into this little world of ours? Now, I could just imagine non-fans and/or the dumbest marks turning on their TV sets and seeing Vince McMahon feuding with the pathetic gimmick that is (was) Mr. America, Vince McMahon picking on a one-legged kid, Vince McMahon facing his own daughter in a PPV match. What would they think? They would wonder what marks/smarks like us would see in this soap opera crap that is supposedly tagged as "wrestling." And then you could see them turing on their TV sets and seeing more matches like Guerrero/Benoit at Vengeance, and just about any Tag Team matches the feature the likes of Guerrero, Benoit, Tajiri, Rey Rey, Hardy, etc. They would see this, and I'm pretty sure would be entertained by it.
But I'm not just talking about non-fans, I'm talking about what this is doing to us, the IWC, and those of us who fork out money for Cable TV (some just for/mainly for wrestling), and the PPVS which we want to see good wrestling on, not gimmicked bullshit that Vince must think that we find entertaining and is worth our money.
I would go on to the Raw side, but we haven't seen Raw yet (don't know if you know why, or care for that matter), (but I do know that Shane/Kane is still going. Are they really trying to put Kane over by having him annihilate the boss' son (which he didn't to just recently, but has done and probably will again? Well, I daresay that it's not working to well. Noone's caring when a feud, especially involving an O'Mac, and when a high-carder like Kane should be taking it out at the top). Ah, I'm talking about it. Anyway, yeah, haven't seen Raw, Raw sucks, you probably don't care and I'm telling you what you would already know, but I figured that I may as well put my bit again. Btw, is/was the whole McMahon/Steph/Sable and other/s debacle just to set up Steph/Sable, or a match involving the former? Not fully, but that got way too much effort put into it.
I'd rant about No Mercy, but... nah. I'll just say that if Vinnie Mac thinks that him and his daughter in a match, I don't care what it is, will sell the show, he is sorely mistaken. There will certainly need to be some more decent matches put on the card to make the show passable, and for the general consensus of WWE fans (dumb marks) to buy the show, which counts for 98% of their audience. I would order it anyway (because of a certain tipping competition that started with SummerSlam and ends at WrestleMania XX), but also because I am a mark at heart, I am sure, lol, which could have possibly contradicted everything that I just typed, but I believe what I believe.
Cheers from...
some 14-year-old wrestling fans in Queensland, the land of Oz (zie, Ozzie, Ozzie! Oi! Oi! Oi!), which La Resistance used to work the crowd pretty well at Ruthless Aggression.
Goodnight, ya cynical bastard (jks).
I don't think I really need to add anything to that, do I?
Forums Quote of the Week: chave had this to say about the "relationship" between CWM and Cancer Marney.
CWM: So, Marney, I'm a manly man. Wanna fuck?
Marney: It is now technically feasible to reproduce without the aid of males (or, for that matter, females) and to produce only females. We must begin immediately to do so. Retaining the male has not even the dubious purpose of reproduction. The male is a biological accident: the Y (male) gene is an incomplete X (female) gene, that is, it has an incomplete set of chromosomes. In other words, the male is an incomplete female, a walking abortion, aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples.
The male is completely egocentric, trapped inside himself, incapable of empathizing or identifying with others, or love, friendship, affection of tenderness. He is a completely isolated unit, incapable of rapport with anyone. His responses are entirely visceral, not cerebral; his intelligence is a mere tool in the services of his drives and needs; he is incapable of mental passion, mental interaction; he can't relate to anything other than his own physical sensations. He is a half-dead, unresponsive lump, incapable of giving or receiving pleasure or happiness; consequently, he is at best an utter bore, an inoffensive blob, since only those capable of absorption in others can be charming. He is trapped in a twilight zone halfway between humans and apes, and is far worse off than the apes because, unlike the apes, he is capable of a large array of negative feelings -- hate, jealousy, contempt, disgust, guilt, shame, doubt -- and moreover, he is aware of what he is and what he isn't.
Although completely physical, the male is unfit even for stud service. Even assuming mechanical proficiency, which few men have, he is, first of all, incapable of zestfully, lustfully, tearing off a piece, but instead is eaten up with guilt, shame, fear and insecurity, feelings rooted in male nature, which the most enlightened training can only minimize; second, the physical feeling he attains is next to nothing; and third, he is not empathizing with his partner, but is obsessed with how he's doing, turning in an A performance, doing a good plumbing job. To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he's a machine, a walking dildo. It's often said that men use women. Use them for what? Surely not pleasure.
Eaten up with guilt, shame, fears and insecurities and obtaining, if he's lucky, a barely perceptible physical feeling, the male is, nonetheless, obsessed with screwing; he'll swim through a river of snot, wade nostril-deep through a mile of vomit, if he thinks there'll be a friendly pussy awaiting him. He'll screw a woman he despises, any snaggle-toothed hag, and furthermore, pay for the opportunity. Why? Relieving physical tension isn't the answer, as masturbation suffices for that. It's not ego satisfaction; that doesn't explain screwing corpses and babies.
Completely egocentric, unable to relate, empathize or identify, and filled with a vast, pervasive, diffuse sexuality, the male is pyschically passive. He hates his passivity, so he projects it onto women, defines the make as active, then sets out to prove that he is (`prove that he is a Man'). His main means of attempting to prove it is screwing (Big Man with a Big Dick tearing off a Big Piece). Since he's attempting to prove an error, he must `prove' it again and again. Screwing, then, is a desperate compulsive, attempt to prove he's not passive, not a woman; but he is passive and does want to be a woman.
Being an incomplete female, the male spends his life attempting to complete himself, to become female. He attempts to do this by constantly seeking out, fraternizing with and trying to live through an fuse with the female, and by claiming as his own all female characteristics -- emotional strength and independence, forcefulness, dynamism, decisiveness, coolness, objectivity, assertiveness, courage, integrity, vitality, intensity, depth of character, grooviness, etc -- and projecting onto women all male traits -- vanity, frivolity, triviality, weakness, etc. It should be said, though, that the male has one glaring area of superiority over the female -- public relations. (He has done a brilliant job of convincing millions of women that men are women and women are men). The male claim that females find fulfillment through motherhood and sexuality reflects what males think they'd find fulfilling if they were female.
Women, in other words, don't have penis envy; men have pussy envy. When the male accepts his passivity, defines himself as a woman (males as well as females think men are women and women are men), and becomes a transvestite he loses his desire to screw (or to do anything else, for that matter; he fulfills himself as a drag queen) and gets his dick chopped off. He then achieves a continuous diffuse sexual feeling from `being a woman'. Screwing is, for a man, a defense against his desire to be female
CWM: Oooh, kinky!
A quick plug: I must give a shout out over to the people at NMPW, as they have included TSM in their links section. This site is striving to be a huge indy site like whoowrestling.com was back in the day, so check them out at your earliest convenience if you're a fan of indy wrestling.
Tonight: I'd recommend just skipping this show if you have any interest in the Yankees-Red Sox game (and if you were rooting for the Cubs, you probably don't give a shit about baseball either after last night). Based on the on screen guide from Time Warner Digital Cable, it's nothing but hype for father vs. daughter at No Mercy (which is short for "We have No Mercy for our fans"). Based on what little I've heard about the show...well, you could probably watch all the wrestling on this show and miss maybe two pitches of the entire game. Thanks for the warning, everybody!
Segment 1
Earlier tonight, Stephanie McBitch questioned how her father could ban her from SmackDown tonight.
Cue the opening.
Taped 10/14/2003 from Cincinnati, Ohio.
My Olympic Hero comes to the ring to John Cena's music, and he's wearing an "old school" Mark Brunell jersey. He wants the beat killed. He does a rap "as Cena" and says it's true that he's obsessed with other men's balls. Then he dances like a white guy. Hey, I'm white, I can say that. He calls himself out and holds up the mic for the crowd to say "butt", then makes sure the crowd knows why. Cue "Medal", and here comes Mini Kurt Angle. Because midgets equals ratings or something. Cena/Angle: "It's clear you ain't half the man I am." Who the hell is being made fun of here? Mini-Angle calls Cena a weiner. Cole: "Who writes his stuff?" Mini Angle: "When I say Cena, you say weiner." That almost rhymes. Guy in crowd: "Jacksonville sucks." Um...isn't that the home of the Bengals? You're one to talk. Unless you were referring to Jacksonville as a city, then you might have something. Mini Angle knocks "Cena" down and makes him tap to the ankle lock, and here comes the real John Cena to take offense to this segment. Mini Angle with a low blow, and now the big boys go at it. Angle Slam!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
What the bloody hell was that? I mean, I got it when Angle came out making fun of Cena, and I thought it was pretty funny. But then the mini-Angle came out and I became totally lost. I mean, do the fans get that this is a parody of what Angle thinks the match with Cena is going to go? Or they going to look at it like "Kurt Angle tapped out to a midget"? Sadly, there are fans stupid enough to think the latter. And that scares the hell out of me. Decent enough idea, pisspoor execution.
Segment 2
One fall: Chris BeNOIT vs. Doug Basham (w/Danny Basham)
Benoit with a couple of reversals to keep Doug at bay early. Benoit goes for a Crippler Crossface, but Doug makes it to the ropes. Snap suplex. Chop. Corner whip and an elbow. Doug takes control with a jawbreaker. Benoit with a kick to the chest and a chop, and a baseball slide for Danny for good measure. Over the top rope goes Doug, but Benoit misses the tope suicida. Into the ring they go, and Doug covers for 2. Forearm smash. Series of kicks to the midsection. Running knee smash. Snap mare. Legdrop. Another legdrop gets 2. Crevatte, Benoit tries to counter, but Doug holds on, and did that look clipped to anybody else? Benoit attempts the comeback, but he gets caught coming in and dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle. Clothesline, and Doug up top, but he misses the flying legdrop. Benoit fighting back with chops. Elbows and forearms and a cover for 2. Belly-to-back suplex, and there's the cutthroat gesture. Danny tosses a chair into the ring, but Benoit uses it to his advantage. Jim Korderas tries to remove the chair, and there's the switcheroo. Swan Dive Headbutt misses, and Danny rolls away and covers for 2. Benoit comes back with rolling Germans, and there's the Crossface for the submission win in 5:53. *3/4 But wait! A-Train comes out and attacks Benoit from behind! Referees are out to try to break it up, and we have a brawl on the mat.
Up next, more from Stephie Mac. Here's the clip.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
A decent enough opening match with what is actually a surprising finish, as Benoit not only wins, but he also disproves the theory that the illegal switch among lookalike tag team partners always works. Plus, neither Benoit nor A-Train actually gained a clearcut advantage, meaning that there may be some doubt as to who wins the match on Sunday. Nothing wrong with this segment.
Segment 3
Stephanie's been banned from the USBank Arena, but Michael Coleslaw talked to her earlier. The basics?
Stephanie thinks it's petty that she's been banned from SmackDown, but she wants to thank everyone who has supported her. If she loses at No Mercy, she's out of her GM job.
Cole has to ask if the McMahon family is normal? All she knows is how she grew up, but she can't compare her family to anybody else's. But she loves this business and wanted to be part of it to be closer to her family. And it ends for one of them on Sunday night.
She doesn't know what she'll do if she loses her job on Sunday.
She doesn't know if the business would be better off without Vince McMahon or not. Wow, she's not saying anything of note, is she?
Linda's always been there with open arms for the entire family, and she'll be in Steph's corner doing what she thinks is right. She hates that Vince has put her in this situation and can't imagine what she's going through.
People feel Steph has been spoiled, and she admits she probably was as a child, but she feels she's earned her job because Vince tolerates nothing less than hard work and results. (I'll refrain from that rant because I want to go to sleep sometime tonight.)
Without question there's some of Vince in Stephanie (get your mind out of the gutter), but she doesn't want to have the same negative aspects. She wants to be respected, not feared.
Steph "cries" when she says she never thought it would come down to this. They'd always had a wonderful relationship. They've argued and stuff, sure, but she never thought it would come down to this. When he slammed her and clotheslined her, she never thought that would happen. And if Vince thinks there will ever be a relationship again, he's wrong. He won't walk her down the aisle at her next wedding (HA!), he won't see his grandchild, and he won't stare at her tits from up close ever again. OK, I added that last one.
She still loves her father, but she doesn't like him anymore. Christ, they're stealing from George Strait songs to get their material. Steph takes her mic off and walks out.
Cole and Tazz discuss the interview and try to sell the implications of the McMahon "I Quit" Match. Had they not both lost under similar stipulations about 500 times apiece in the last five years I might care.
Jamie By God Noble and Nidia discuss what happened, and it turns into an argument. Tajiri Yoshihiro is looking on the background. Nidia and Noble agree that WWE would be better without Vince, and Tajiri finds Mr. McAsshole to stooge them off. Vince responds by making a match between Tajiri and Noble for the next segment, and he wants Tajiri to do something he's never seen before.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Another case of a good idea in theory being executed poorly. Let's sell the implications that after No Mercy, one of the McMahons is out of the business. Fine. But nobody actually buys into it. Remember Fully Loaded 1999 when Vince McMahon agreed to leave forever? He was not only back within two months, but he won the WWF Title in his return. Remember Survivor Series 2001? Or the March 25, 2002 episode of Raw? Steph was "banned for life" after both of those shows, and she never lasted more than four months on the sidelines. Forget Steph's bad acting. This is just poor planning, made by the hope that we're too stupid to remember back a mere two years.
Segment 4
Non-Title Match scheduled for one fall: Tajiri Yoshihiro (Cruiserweight Champion) vs. Jamie By God Noble (w/Nidia)
Remember when Noble and Tajiri were sharing Nidia? The writing team doesn't. Noble with a hiptoss, and he begins to focus on the left arm. Tajiri with a side headlock. Knee to the midsection by Noble. Bodyslam and a legdrop for 2. A series of suplex counters, and a kick by Tajiri gives him control. Tajiri with a series of kicks, and a dragon screw leg whip off the top turnbuckle. Kneebreaker. Tajiri's focus is on the left leg of Jamie Noble. Noble counters a kneebreaker with a sunset flip for 2, but Tajiri comes back with a swinging neckbreaker. Noble blocks a kick and gets some forearms in. Powerslam gets 2. Noble blocks the handspring elbow. Tiger driver is blocked. Noble counters a power bomb by taking Tajiri over the top rope with a rana. Tajiri grabs the title belt, and Nidia tries to get it from him, but Tajiri sprays her in the eyes with BLACK mist. Well, we've never seen the black before. Nidia screams in agony as Noble goes to check on her, and referee Mike Sparks is calling for help. I guess it's over (no contest, call it 4:57). **1/2
COMMERCIAL BREAK
A pretty solid match until the finish, even if the crowd didn't give a damn. And although I'd rather see it end with a real finish, I have to admit, I kinda like the finish. This sells Tajiri as being willing to do absolutely anything (the ends justify the means), and it also helps to put over the green mist as something that can do a lot of serious damage. What it doesn't do at all is build toward the Tajiri-Rey Misterio Jr. match on Sunday, but it could build to a killer Tajiri-Noble match down the road.
Segment 5
Trainers are trying to help Nidia in the back, but she won't stay still enough to get any help. She is completely panicking, and actually doing a reasonable job of relaying that.
Noble limps back out to the ring (selling an injury? Wow!), and he's got the stick. He vows to hunt Tajiri down, and will start now if Tajiri doesn't come to the ring. Tajiri's a no-show, so out goes Noble to hunt him down...but he runs into King Brock I. Dammit! And I was just about to credit them for a great angle too. Lesnar does what he always does to the cruiserweights -- damn near killing Noble before using the F5 on the floor. Cue Mr. McMahon's music, and he and No Longer Able Sable make their way to the ring. There's the handshake. Brock's off to the back, and Vince is in the ring for some mic work. I'd start a running clock on how much airtime the McMahons get every week, but I don't think they make stopwatches that have that many numbers. Vince says Steph gave an Academy Award winning performance (if the other nominees are all dead or the films are destroyed or something). See, Steph does hate Vince, but she doesn't love him. Only Vince understands the true meaning of love. "If you truly care about someone, you will hurt them, and you will hurt them badly." So my bitch of an ex-girlfriend really really really really loved me then? I call bullshit on that one! OK, most of you are hoping for a miraculous Stephanie McMahom victory, but you're also counting on the lottery to become a millionaire out of sheer laziness. But Vince is a "billionaire", but he didn't wait for a lottery. He took what was his. But Steph has the same chance of winning on Sunday that any fan does of winning the lottery. And Vince has been asked what he's capable of doing. He shudders to think about what he'll do to his own flesh and blood. He leaves Steph with these parting words: "May God have mercy on your soul, because I won't." They waste all the good lines on the untalented pieces of crap. FUCK, THEY GAVE SABLE THE MIC! She does her best Tammy Wynette impression (which isn't very good) by saying she'll stand by her man and all that assorted garbage. Sable says she's sexier than Linda. Well, yeah, but Linda's in her 50s and Sable's only...um...wait, never mind. And now they're French kissing. God, I just ate too.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Who really gives a damn about this match? Anybody at all? But if they insisted on building this match up, this interview was the way to go...until Sable had to open her mouth. Hey, Sable was once a draw when all she had to do was look good in whatever T-shirt you were selling that week and keep her mouth shut, but nobody has ever bought a pay-per-view because Sable cut a killer promo. And WrestleMania proved that pushing the McMahons over the talent results in a disappointing buyrate.
What do you mean, what are my thoughts on Brock Lesnar? He was in that segment? I don't remember that at all.
Segment 6
Highlights of last week's Passport to Pain tour are shown here. Which reminds, isn't Rebellion coming up before too long?
Non-Title Contest scheduled for one fall: Eddy Guerrero (United States Champion) vs. The Man Beast Rhyno
Thank God Eddy's in a pickup truck and not a sewage truck. Chavo missed his flight and isn't here. This reminds me, wasn't Shelton Benjamin supposed to return tonight to lead to a Tag Team Title Match? Rhyno with an early shoulderblock. Eddy with a headlock, and he gets his own shoulderblock in. Hiptoss by Rhyno. A solid "Eddy" chant starts. Knucklelock, and Rhyno is clearly the stronger of the two. But to prove it, he'll kick Eddy in the gut to keep him off his feet. Eddy can play that game too, and he steps on Rhyno's hands. Chops and forearms, but Rhyno does a 360 power bomb into the turnbuckle and covers for 2. Neck vice. Hard spinebuster for 2. Stomachbreaker for 2. Rhyno grabs the title belt, but Nick Patrick tries to take it from him, and that gives Eddy an opening to use a standing dropkick. Tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Vertical suplex combo. Eddy goes for the Frog Splash, but Rhyno gets the knees up. Tazz: "Rhyno paying possum. How could Rhyno be a possum? That's kind of weird."
COMMERCIAL BREAK
So far it's not a bad match, but they'd gotten into a nice going home groove before the break. Hopefully the second half can keep everybody's interest.
Segment 7
We return with Rhyno locking Eddy into the scorpion deathlock. Eddy tries to reach the ropes, but Rhyno pulls him back to the center of the ring. Eddy eventually powers out, but Rhyno continues to work on the back. Headsmash into the turnbuckle, then right back to the back. Eddy coming back, and there's a clothesline. Flying elbow. Slingshot somersault senton for 2. Eddy up top, but Rhyno punching Eddy. Rhyno with a superplex, and a slow cover gets 2. Up top again, and Eddy gets a top-rope rana for 2. Eddy charges, but he's dumped over the top rope. Eddy unties his boot, places the ring bell hammer into it, and reties his boot. Back in they go. Bodyslam, and Rhyno sets up the Gore...but Eddy pulls Nick Patrick into it. Eddy grabs the hammer, but he ends up tossing it to Rhyno. Of course, Rhyno gets yelled at by Patrick, and Eddy uses the title belt for the pin at 13:19. Pretty good stuff. **1/2
After the replay, The Too Damn Big Show uses a pipe to break the back windshield of the pickup truck, and he does a combined number on Eddy and the truck. That's a damn fine truck you're destroying, Paul. No wonder this company's losing more and more money. Over the hood and through the windshield, to Grandma's house Eddy goes. Dude, look at Eddy's back...all bloodied and stuff...that's hard to fake. Show places Eddy onto the roof of the truck, and he choke slams him onto the roof. Show stares an unconscious Eddy down.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
A pretty nice matchup, and a much better job of building up to the Eddy-Show match than in previous weeks. It not only made sense, and it not only makes Show look like a monster who's capable of anything, but it had nothing to with excrement or bad food or sewage trucks. The truck had a reason to be there, Show had his motivation for the attack, and Eddy ends up looking in terrible shape heading into No Mercy. Eddy's gimmick is going to make or break this match, as Eddy will likely have to cheat to win this one.
Segment 8
During the break, Eddy's bloody back makes us go into black and white mode as he's helped off the truck.
One fall: Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli (w/Nunzio and Chuck Palumbo)
Referee Brian Hebner sends Nunzio and Palumbo to the back immediately. Quick satellite headscissors by Rey. Rey gets caught and taken down with a backbreaker for 2. Into a chinlock as Cole hypes an interview with The Undertaker later on. Rey with double-axhandles to get out, but he gets caught on an Asai moonsault attempt and driven into the corner. Rey avoids a shoulderblock in the corner and hits the moonsault bodyblock for 2. Dropkick to the knee. Springboard sitdown senton thingie for 2. Stamboli counters a satellite headscissors with a side slam for 2. Power bomb, Rey counters, and it turns into a dropkick for Rey. Shot to the back, and Rey goes for the 619, but Stamboli catches him and gets the backbreaker. But Rey somehow counters Stamboli into a West Coast Pop for the pin at 3:19. This didn't suck! **1/2
Brock Lesnar looks on as The Undertaker prepares for his interview.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
This is where big man vs. little man works. The little man bumps like crazy for the big man, while the little man thinks of ingenious ways to get the big man down. And when the big man sells for the little man, good things happen. But somehow the competitors for the Cruiserweight Title match on Sunday got three segments and they were never even on screen together. If I didn't know better, I'd say they were trying to make people forget the match was even on the card. I hate to tell you this, but that's match of the night if it gets any time at all, so you should have hyped the hell out of it.
Segment 9
Matt Hardy v.1.0 gives Shannon Moore v.0.75 a picture of himself as a reward for beating Zach Gowen last week, but Jon Heidenreich comes in to ask Matt to give his tape to Stephanie McMahon. He puts it in the trash.
"Today is the Day" by Dope is the theme song for No Mercy, which features Vince McMahon vs. Stephanie McMahon. Tajiri vs. Rey Misterio Jr. Kurt Angle vs. John Cena. Chris Benoit vs. A-Train. Eddy Guerrero vs. The Big Show. Matt Hardy vs. Zach Gowen. And The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar.
What is a biker chain match? Let's ask The Undertaker. There are no rules. And no, it's not a standard chain match. Two guys start fighting. The first one to get the chain that is "somehow" suspended above the ring can use it. But is it Stairway to Hell or Coal Miner's rules? They don't say. The first one to get it should win, but likely it's whoever can swing it the hardest. The Undertaker has gotten himself in shape over the last year to regain the title. But his opinion on McMahon vs. McMahon? Who gives a shit? Oh, sorry, that's my opinion. Taker hopes Steph wins, but Vince is more evil, so it's going to be a long night for Steph. Cue Brock Lesnar's sneak attack (as if you didn't see that coming). And he wraps that chain around The Undertaker's neck and starts dragging him around the back.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
So we know the rules for the Biker Chain Match, and yet we still don't know all the particulars. Do you need to climb a ladder to get the chain? Or do you need to climb a pole? Or will they just leave a six foot stick at ringside and let them use it to poke at it until it falls to the mat? Either way, these two are going to have trouble climbing anything, so it lowers the potential for a good match there. But did you notice how they turned it into a hype job for Vince vs. Steph? It's like Dusty Rhodes is main eventing the PPV or something.
Segment 10
Brock has brought Taker into the arena, but Taker is trying to fight back. But Lesnar regains control and continues dragging him to the ring. This would be much cooler if Taker was being dragged around the arena behind his bike like Taker did to Hogan last year. Brock continues to choke Taker with the chain. And now he's hanging him over the ringpost. First being dragged around like Hogan, and now being hung like The Big Bossman at WrestleMania XV. Karma's a bitch, ain't it? Taker fights back with a couple of boots and finally gives himself some space. Both men into the ring, and Lesnar with a clothesline. Brock wants the F5, but Taker chokes Lesnar with the chain. Series of punches by Taker, but Brock with the low blow. But he walks into the choke slam. He's gonna whip Brock with the chain, but Brock hightails it.
END OF SHOW
Short and to the point here. The chain is an official weapon on Sunday night, so here's how it will come into play...provided anybody can actually climb whatever it is they're supposed to climb to get it. If the chase to the chain doesn't hurt the match, this could be passable.
Now, the overall thoughts. I had a line all set up to introduce this part of the recap when I saw the lineup, but they surprised me tonight. I didn't like the fact that they only found a way to get four matches onto the show, but none of them were really actively bad. The problem comes with the overabundance of McMahons (as usual). I mean, we didn't hype the Cruiserweight Title match at all despite both men being featured pretty prominently. Matt Hardy vs. Zach Gowen barely gets a mention. But by God, we all know that the only match anybody really wants to see is McMahon vs. McMahon, so let's continue hyping the hell of that. Then we'll blame the low buyrate on Brock-Taker.
And how do you expect me to believe that, considering Tajiri-Noble was an "impromptu" match, that any wrestling show would only have three scheduled matches?
As always, drop the feedback.
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