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Tape Reviews
TTDR: IWS Hardcore Heat '03
Posted by Jay Doring on Nov 30, 2003, 23:13
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Caution: The following tape review contains excessive violence, profanity, drug references, and French-Canadians. You�ve been warned.
I�ve been wanting to review another IWS show for a long time, because the first review, my first ever in fact, Know Your Enemies 2003, gained yours truly a small amount of notoriety and earned me the undying hatred of their fanbase. Ever since that review, I�ve become a lot wiser in my ways, and I�m very excited to see what the Hardcore Soldiers from Quebec have been up to these past few months. Everybody from PCP Manny to Dru Onyx to my buddy Emo and TSM forum member Llakor has sworn up and down that the Internet Wrestling Syndicate has consistently delivered the best independent wrestling shows in Canada, and perhaps even North America, in the year 2003. As my friends and I asked in the last review, is the hype on the IWS truly for real? Well, dear reader, let�s have a look-see.
Taped 7/12/03 from Bar Le Skratch in Laval, Quebec Canada, your hosts are Brian the Guppie of Team 990�s Between the Ropes radio show, and PCP Crazy F�n Manny.
Shane Simmons vs. Fred La Merveille
Following Freedom to Fight, the Angry Aryan tag team of Viking Vachon and Damien Duplessis renounced their hatred of minorities�but announced they still despised the English-speaking peoples of Quebec. They joined forces with the IWS�s �Language Police,� Fred La Merveillle, and formed Syndicat de Lutte Internet, and vowed to convert the IWS to it�s true French heritage. The entire SLI gimmick is actually a giant rib on the discriminatory policies of other Quebec promotions, such as ICW, which has been known to charge Anglos 2 dollars more for tickets to their shows, and FLQ, which shares the same initials as a terrorist group which murdered British diplomat James Cross and Quebec Liberal Minister of Labour Pierre LaPorte. It�s also a small dig at the general racist tendencies of many Quebec separatists. Shane Simmons is a relative newcomer out of Ottawa making his IWS debut.
Brian the Guppie seems generally surprised to see the retired PCP Manny. Manny�s explanation? �Just like Jake Roberts baby, it�s commentary for crack time!�
Hilarious spot in the beginning as Simmons jumps Fred while he�s cutting a promo (entirely in French) and Fred HANGS ONTO THE MICROPHONE, shrieking girlishly as he gets beat on and whipped into the turnbuckles. Monkey flip by Simmons, followed up by an irish whip, and Simmons reverses a tilt-a-whirl into a Russian Legsweep. �Fred rules all� chant as Simmons counters a Fred rana attempt into a sitout powerbomb. Off the ropes again, Fred fakes out Simmons on a dropkick attempt and tries to slingshot Simmons over the ropes, but Simmons skins the cat and dumps Fred.
Manny: �He must be on some good Yeyo to do moves like that brother!�
Fred does his own�unique�skin the cat but gets quickly clotheslined out by Simmons. The crowd now chants for Simmons, he goes for a suicide dive, AND FRED MOVES! HEADFIRST INTO THE CONCRETE! Fred takes advantage by SUPLEXING HIM INTO THE STEEL SCAFFOLDING!
Manny: �I�m on acid! I see spiders everywhere! I�m tell you Guppie, THERE�S GIANT SPIDERS ON MY MICROPHONE!�
Fred heads to the top rope back in the ring, looking for a moonsault, Simmons catches him, and HOOKS HIM IN LOW KI�S HANGING DRAGON! Simmons follows up with Matt Hardy�s Side Effect for a quick nearfall. Bodyslam by Simmons, he tries for a beautiful looking second-rope moonsault by Fred moves. Simmons sees it and lands on his feet, Fred tries for a second-rope bodypress- cut off with a dropkick! Manny is so excited he starts snorting crack as Simmons covers for two. Irish whip, Fred catches him with a boot to the gut and locks him into a Gory Guerrero special-FOLLOWED UP WITH A GORY BOMB! Arrogant cover s gets two, but Fred keeps up the aggression with a cradle suplex. Another nearfall, Fred places him on the apron- and IRISH WHIPS HIM INTO THAT SCAFFOLD FROM THE APRON! Now THAT�S a neat, innovative spot. Fred tries again, but SIMMONS COUNTERS INTO A DDT ON THE APRON!
Guppie: �I�m sure you experienced that a couple times in your life Manny.�
Manny: �I wrestled right?�
Back in, Fred tries to climb the ropes again, BUT SIMMONS SPRINGS UP WITH A RELEASE BELLY TO BELLY, KURT ANGLE STYLE! ANOTHER CLOSE TWO! Simmons capitalizes with a diving headbutt, 2.9. Simmons picks him up, BUT FRED LOW BLOWS AND HITS THE 101! (Swinging Pedigree)- FOOT ON THE ROPES! Fred argues with the ref, and Simmons grabs a schoolboy for two. The SLI hit the ring as the ref is still distracted, and hit the Hit Squad cannonball move. BOOTSCRAPE! It should be mentioned at this point, like on the last tape, we get SPLIT-SCREEN REPLAYS of all the big moves! No other promotion on the continent has production that good. That only gets two. Fred tries a tornado DDT, cut off, but SLI throw Shane down, and hold Simmon�s feet down for the cheap pin. SLI put the beatdown on Simmons and drape him in the Quebec flag.
Fred La Merveille is GOLD, that�s all I can say about him. Words don�t convey it properly, but this guy is a heat MACHINE. The guy has an innate ability, just through his mannerisms and body language, to generate a huge reaction from a crowd. The guy doesn�t even speak English, half the audience probably doesn�t understand him, and he�s one of the most over guys in the promotion. As far as the match goes, it was a really solid back-and-forth contest, with some-great looking offense from both men, and some extremely dramatic and believable nearfalls. This is the textbook definition of a great opening match.
Winner: Fred La Merveille
Rating: ***1/4
Words of wisdom from Crazy Manny: �No chick on Earth fucks like a French chick.� Heck, this DVD is worth buying just to listen to Manny�s analysis of French fellatio technique.
Darren Knife vs. Jeff Johnson
Knife and Johnson are two very green trainees, who ever since Freedom to Fight, have had their match broken up by other IWS wrestlers, most notably Kurt Lauderdale. This is their third attempt at actually finishing a match. I actually met Darren at ROH Beating the Odds this past September, and he�s a genuinely nice and humble guy who loves wrestling more than anything.
So out of respect to Darren, I�m not going to do PBP for this match, because it was a total trainwreck in which both guys blew everything they tried, either because of stage fright or they kept trying to do stuff they�re weren�t capable of doing yet. At least the announcers were nice enough to make an excuse for them, namely, �they�re on heroin.� It gets broken up by IWS newcomer Tomassino, who chokeslams and Last Rides the shit out of both of them. Don Francesco, a Mafioso-type figure, tells IWS Commissioner Joseph Fitzmorris that they�ve been operating in his territory too long without paying up. Fitzmorris quickly crumbles and promises to arrange a payment plan to the Don.
Winner: No Contest
Rating: DUD
Xtreme Revolution (Nightmare Manson and Crazy Crusher) vs. The Flying Hurricanes (Takao and Kenny the Bastard)
Xtreme Revolution are also relative newcomers to IWS, making their second appearance in the promotion (their first was a loss to Hi-5) after competing mostly for another Quebec indy, CCW. The Flying Hurricanes defeated Hi-5 at Freedom to Fight in a nontitle match, and our heroes from Westmount have been ducking them ever since. This match is for the number one contendership to the IWS tag team titles.
The Hurricanes shove down the Revolution, but both guys quickly kip up. BLINDING-FAST criss-cross sequence leads to Kenny gets a headscissors on Manson and Crusher getting a headscissors on Takao. Kenny gets whipped in, gets caught in a Nagasateru and eats a SPIKE neckbreaker! Takao goes to suplex Manson off the apron, but Crusher springs off Kenny back and POWERBOMBS TAKAO TO THE FLOOR! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! HELL YES THERE�S A REPLAY! Kenny�s on the top- 450 TO THE FLOOR! They head back in, Takao connects with a jumping roundhouse to Crusher, and the Hurricanes hook up for a double facebuster, followed immediately by a double brainbuster!
Manny: �Reminds me of the time I tagged with RVD!�
Moonsault/legdrop combination by the Hurricanes. Cover, Manson makes the save and hits a suplex into a neckbreaker. Double Russian Legsweep by Xtreme Revolution, transitioned seamlessly into a double Styles facebuster! Brainbuster by Crusher on Kenny gets a two count, but Takao makes the save. Crusher catches Takao in a fireman�s carry now, runs his head into both buckles, and KILLS HIM WITH A DVD!
Guppie: �Who do you think�s gonna win this match?�
Manny: �I think the Funks. Dory�s never looked younger�have you ever freebased?�
Crusher whips Takao into the corner, but eats boot on a blind charge. Takao heads to the top, cut off by Crusher�WHO HITS THE MOTHERFUCKING JERICHO SPIKE ('rana off the top with both men standing on the top rope)! Lateral press, but Takao still kicks out. Takao catches a boot, Crusher backflips out, Crusher tries a rana, but Takao hangs on and POWERBOMBS HIM INTO THE TURNBUCKLES! Fireman�s Carry brainbuster gets a nearfall for Takao. Manson comes in and hits Slugger�s Body Bag move. Kenny the Bastard comes in for a Yakuza kick, but takes a NASTY LARIAT, AND THERE�S THE JANNETTY SELL! Crazy Crusher brings out the table.
Manny: �Oh yeah, my kind of wrestling! Bring out the shit yo! Time to break some shit!�
Kenny hits a Code Red on Manson as Takao tries to put Crusher on the table. Takao takes a chairshot to counter. Kenny and Manson are fighting on the apron- Kenny runs up for a rana, but Manson catches him! HOLY FUCK, XTREME REVOLUTION HIT A BUFF BLOCKBUSTER/POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE! DAMN! There�s the replay, and I agree with Manny that it�s some �sick-ass fucking shit!� Pancake/Diamond Cutter on Takao back in the ring, and they hook up for the Revolutionizer (Maximo Explosion/Tomikaze combo) but HI-5~! Are in the ring! KID KAMIKAZE SPRAYS MANSON WITH WINDEX! This isn�t My Big Fat Greek Wedding dammit! Takao Driver (Ki Krusher) plants Manson, and the Hurricanes land Unpredictable Motion (some weird-ass powerbomb into a splash) to earn their contendership.
Whoa, if I wasn�t straight edge, I�d have seriously needed a cigarette after that one. All four guys busted their asses at an incredible rate, pulling out some absolutely mindblowing spots and generally making a lot of the sometimes stale ROH scramble matches look like absolute shit. Only a couple of awkward spots drag down what�s otherwise one of the most exciting spot matches I�ve seen in a really long time.
Winners: The Flying Hurricanes
Rating: ***3/4
Evil Ninja 2 vs. Jay�s Favorite Wrestler in the Whole Wide World, El Generico
Ah, El Generico, we meet again. For those of you who don�t know, the IWS fanbase, after reading the Know Your Enemies review, chose to ignore the far nastier things Jake/Sandman9000 and Thomas Green said about the Tijuana highflyer and focused on my throwaway line of calling him a �yardtard.� According to sources within the IWS, the review even made him cry. So many months (and several death threats) later, I review another Generico match. This is a rematch from Season�s Beatings, which El Generico won.
Ninja 2 tries to jump Generico at the bell to no avail, and backs off.
Wait a minute, what the hell is the crowd saying? �FUCK SHOOTER JAY! FUCK SHOOTER JAY!� AWESOME. How many Internet tape reviewers can say they got a chant at a major indy show? That is so fucking cool! AND GENERICO ACKNOWLEDGES! If that isn�t proof that TSM isn�t a major presence in indy wrestling, I don�t know what is.
Anyway, back to the match. We go to the lockup as Manny tries to do Spanish ring introductions. Straight right hand in the corner by Ninja 2, and he drops Generico with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes again, monkey flip but Generico lands on his feet. Generico counters a back suplex attempt with an armdrag and trips Evil Ninja up. �Ole shit!� chant fires up, as Ninja 2 grabs a headlock. Kick to the gut by Generico, but Ninja 2 nails him with a hard clothesline. Stiff chops in the corner by Ninja 2, but Generico responds with some of his own. Whip to the opposite corner, and Generico CLOCKS him with a Yakuza Kick! Generico charges again, but gets DECAPITATED with a lariat! Generico takes the Bret Hart chest bump in the corner, and Ninja 2 cracks him in the back with a spinning roundhouse kick. Manny starts singing the Godwinns theme as Ninja 2 hits a Doctorbomb.
Manny: �Invented by Doctor Death Steve Williams in All Japan in 1986!�
Guppie: �How did you know that?�
Manny: �Uh, what?�
Ninja 2 only gets a one count off of that. He eats boot on a blind charge, and Generico vaults over him with a moonsault, but Ninja 2 catches him with a tornado DDT! 1, 2, only 2. Generico tries to fire back with punches, but Ninja 2 catches him with a full nelson, transitioned into a Fisherman�s Suplex for a two count. Ninja keeps up the ruthlessness with a springboard hurricanrana that sends Generico to the outside. RUNNING SOMERSAULT PLANCHA BY NINJA 2!
On the floor, Generico slips out of a powerbomb attempt, tries his own, but Ninja slips out, however Generico DRILLS him with a Mafia Kick! Generico sends him back in and tries for a slingshot shoulderblock, COUNTERED INTO A DDT! TWO COUNT! They exchange shots, irish whip, Ninja 2 catches him with a spinkick. Generico looks messed up as Ninja 2 slaps on a front facelock, but Generico fights out into a DVD! Both men recover, Generico catches him with a dropkick off the ropes and follows up with a standing moonsault for two. Michinoku Driver gets two. Ninja 2 heads to the outside, Generico catches him with a baseball slide, AND THERE�S A TWISTING ASAI MOONSAULT!
Here comes the plunder, and Generico BLASTS Ninja 2 in the face with a chair! Oh boy, it�s ladder time! Oooh, and a table! Ninja 2 sandbags a bit as Generico tosses him in the ring. He drapes Ninja 2 over the ropes, and the excessive springboard moonsault misses. Generico recovers quickly with a release Tiger Suplex for 2.9. Generico sets up the ladder in the ring, but gets tossed to the outside by Ninja 2. Ninja 2 climbs the ladder, but Generico climbs the scaffold! OH MY FUCKING GOD, DOUBLE SPRINGBOARD ACE CRUSHER OFF THE LADDER FROM THE SCAFFOLDING! THAT�S THE MOST INSANE FUCKING THING I�VE EVER SEEN! REPLAY!
Generico sets up the ladder in the corner- irish whip, COUNTERED INTO A LADDER-ASSISTED SLICED BREAD #2 OFF THE LADDER! Generico turns the tide by countering a slam with an Exploder into the ladder! Generico drapes Ninja 2 on the ladder- SOMERSAULT VAN TERMINATOR�MISSES! GENERICO SLAMS BACKFIRST INTO THE LADDER! Ninja 2 throws Generico on the ladder, but Generico cuts hom off on the top rope- AND HITS A HIPTOSS OFF THE LADDER THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE FLOOR! Generico sets up a chair bridge with a piece of wood on top, goes for a superplex- NOPE! TOP ROPE POWERBOMB THROUGH THE WOOD BY NINJA 2! That should be it, but Ninja�s saidistic and hits an Exploder on the chair, and the Pearl Harbor (Arabian Facebuster) for the pin.
I take back every bad thing I ever said about El Generico. He must have been using Jeff Johnson�s heroin at Know Your Enemies, because this was a great and highly entertaining ECW-style weapons spotfest. Generico and Ninja 2 paced the match excellently, gradually increasing the intensity of the bumps rather than having them kick out of insane shit five minutes into the match. Everything looked crisp and nothing was blown. My only complain with this match was that they went into heavy overkill mode at the end and started no selling a few of the big bumps (for example, Generico shouldn�t have had the energy to do the hiptoss through the table spot immediately after landing backirst on a ladder.) Of course, that�s stupid anal-retentive Net geek whiny bullshit, which I�ve been moving away from lately, and it doesn�t really detract from a very fun match to watch.
Winner: Evil Ninja 2
Rating: ***1/2
Syndicat de Lutte Internet (Viking and Damien) vs. Los Latinos (Latino Mysterio and Latino Kid)
Man, halfway through this review through this review I can�t believe I�ve a) done a complete 180 on El Generico and b) grown to love the SLI gimmick after violently hating them under the Aryan gimmick last time. Anyway, Los Latinos are the tag team that was squashed by the might and glory of Hi-5 at Know Your Enemies. Being bigots, SLI repeatedly tried to get Los Latinos deported, and the luchadors want revenge.
The crowd chants for Viking as he starts off with a waistlock on Latino Mysterio. Mysterio gets shoved into the ropes, Viking telegraphs a backdrop and Mysterio backflips over and lands some chops. Mysterio tries a sunset flip, no go, Viking picks him up by the throat, Mysterio escapes tries a kick, Viking throws him in the air and Mysterio lands on his feet. Viking gets another waistlock and tries for a release German, Mysterio lands on his feet again! Super around-the-world satellite armdrag by Mysterio! That�s was just an incredibly athletic and smoothly flowing sequence.
We head into the meat and potatoes of the match as Viking lights him up with chops in the corner, and he hits a backbreaker version of Chris Harris� Catatonic. Viking follows up with an Exploder. The SLI polka with the dazed Mysterio, but Latino Kid comes in and dumps both heels. In the ring, Kid gets caught with a Nagasateru but gets out of it with an armdrag. Damien and Kid exchange headlocks, with Latino Kid eventually getting the takedown for a nearfall. Kid kicks Damien into the ropes and gets another headscissors, and both SLI are on the floor. The Latinos argue about who gets to dive, and Viking takes advantage with a cheapshot, and he grabs Mysterio off the top and PILEDRIVES HIM ON THE APRON!
Viking tries to capitalize with a running senton off the apron to the floor, but misses! SUICIDE DIVE BY LATINO KID! CHAIRSHOT BY LATINO MYSTERIO! Los Latinos nail the WGTT Spinkick/German combo. Sideslam by Latino Kid, and Los Latinos nail a doubleteam Bow and Arrow/Swaton. Damien is dead, but Viking isn�t and kills Mysterio DEAD WITH AN ORANGE CRUSH BOMB!
Manny: �Shades of Kobashi from Japan!�
Guppie: �I�m surprised you knew that!�
Manny: �Me and Kenta Kobashi are cousins.�
Viking hits some rolling backbreakers into a TOMBSTONE, and the SLI Boston Crab both Latinos in a sexually compromising position. The SLI take turns now nailing Mysterio with spinal taps. Latino Kid tries to save but they backdrop him out of the ring! KARATE CHOP DIVE TO KID! HOLY SHIT, THE VIKING SPIKE (piledriver from the CODE RED position!) OFF THE TOP! FUCKING VICIOUS! You better believe it�s over! The SLI put the beatdown on the Latinos, but all of a sudden Puerto Rican wrestling legend HERCULES AYALA JR. hits the ring and cleans house on the Francophones!
It�s tough for me to properly give my opinion on a match like this, because there was definitely nothing bad about it, but nothing that stood out either. There were a lot of cool and brutal highspots, punctuated by that disgusting finish, but the flow of the match seemed off, as they kept switching back from highspots to more �feeling out� type wrestling in the first half of the match, basically kinda disjointed. Eh, the flaws and the positives cancel each other out, so I�ll give it my general �solid match� rating.
Winners: Syndicat de Lutte Internet
Rating: **1/2
Sunny War Cloud vs. Dru Onyx � -IWS Heavyweight Title Match
Sunny War Cloud is the owner/booker of rival independent promotion Canadian Championship Wrestling, and is fixture on the Quebec indy scene. Sunny�s arrival in IWS was actual a landmark moment for Quebec wrestling, because previously the other, more �old school� promoters in the area and the IWS have had a very rocky relationship. Sunny being booked in a title match against the IWS champion represented a signal to Quebec old school wrestling fans that it was okay to watch the IWS. Dru and Sunny have hooked up in CCW prior to this match, engaging in reportedly wild bloody brawls, with Dru in the monster heel role. This time though, the roles are reversed. To give you an impression of what Sunny looks like, well�he�s a 44-year-old fat Indian/Native American. Oh, I forgot, Dru Onyx also recently came back from a tour of England with NWA-UK Hammerlock, making him the first IWS wrestler to ply his trade overseas.
Sunny jumps Onyx at the bell, stiffing him in the corner with super-stiff chops and stomps. Sunny grabs a chair and jabs it into Onyx�s throat, followed by more chops. Irish whip by Sunny, and he charges in with a chair to the face. Onyx fires back with chops of his own and tries a spear, but Sunny evades. Sunny dumps Onyx to the outside, and there�s ANOTHER stiff chairshot to the neck! Time to take a tour of Le Skratch with Onyx and Sunny as your guides. Onyx is busted open, but he manages to whip Sunny into the apron and FUCKING DROP Sunny with a nasty-as-fuck clothesline.
Back in, avalanche by Onyx in the corner, and a big vertical suplex on the 290-pound War Cloud! GROUND ZERO (sidewalk slam) gets�two! Sunny rains (get it, Indian�rains�rain dance? Man I�m lame) forearms on Onyx�s back and heads to the top rope. Onyx sees him and moves, so Sunny changes his mind. Back to the outside, and there�s a chairshot to the back by Onyx! BUT SUNNY PUNCHES THE CHAIR BACK IN ONYX�S FACE! Onyx turns the tide by BLOWING AN AIR HORN IN HIS EAR! Well, that�s something new. Cover gets two. Sunny recovers and gets an Axe Bomber, dropping the champion. Sunny�s on the top- TOP ROPE TOMAHAWK CHOP! Somewhere Ted Turner smiles, but it only gets 2.9!
Sunny gets frustrated and grabs a chair , but Onyx kicks him in the gut to drop the chair and GORES HIM WITH THE ROADKILL SPEAR FOR THE PIN OUT OF NOWHERE! Sunny attacks postmatch with a chair, but it only pisses Onyx off, and Onyx puts the beatdown on him with a chair all the way to the back.
While this wasn�t something I�d really call a �good match,� Onyx brought intensity and stiff brawling (that clothesline on the outside was Stan Hansen-esque) to carry the somewhat limited War Cloud to a watchable brawl. Onyx is another guy who conveys a lot of emotion through his body language and how he carries himself in the ring, and in addition to his size and mobility, could be a player for a long time up North. Back to the match though, when Onyx was in control, it was good, when Sunny had offense, it was kinda slow and plodding, making it just kind of an �eh� match overall. Kudos to Dru for the effort though.
Winner: Dru Onyx
Rating: *3/4
Green Phantom and eXcEsS69 vs. HI-5 ~! (Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze)�-IWS Tag Team Title match
Your heroes and mine, Hi-5, had been the tag team champions for an impressive 9 months leading up to this show, but in a great injustice, had been left out of the main events. They interrupted Joseph Fitzmorris while jogging to petition for a main event match at this show, hoping they would get a shot at Dru Onyx in a three way dance. Instead, Fitzmorris booked a tag title match, cruelly forcing them to defend their belts against the psychotic former IWS champion Green Phantom and �The Best in Quebec� eXcEsS69, who had teamed at the previous show, Scarred 4 Life. However, Phantom and XES69 had teamed unwillingly at Scarred 4 Life in a �Nightmare Partners� tag match, so they weren�t exactly on the same page. To put it simply, they HATE each other.
Green Phantom and Kid Kamikaze start off. Phantom immediately tries for a Yakuza Kick, but gets dropped with a basement dropkick by Kid K. Kid K takes him down and tries for a leglock, but Phantom kicks him off, sending him into the ropes. Phantom gets a hiptoss and immediately transitions into a cross armbreaker, but Kid K rolls him up for a quick 2. Kid K grabs a cross armbreaker of his own, but the much larger Phantom powers out. Kid K lays in some forearms, irish whip, and Kid K catches him off guard with a satellite headscissors. This only pisses Phantom off, and he KILLS Kamikaze with a lariat.
Manny: �If Green Phantom was a chick would you fuck her?�
Kid K slips out of a bodyslam attempt and gets a standing rana, keeping up the pressure by slapping on a sleeper- TURNED INTO THE DARK CITY STREET CUTTER! IMPLANT DDT BY PHANTOM! Beef, sensing danger, hits a missile dropkick on Phantom. eXcEsS69 tags himself in, and him and Beef go at it. Beef catches a foot, enziguiri by XES69 misses, Beef trips him up, tries to get a half crab, can�t, so Beef DDTS HIS FOOT! BRILLIANT MOVE! XES69 is somehow not dead from that horrific maneuver and grabs a front facelock, floating into a hammerlock. Beef reverses, but XES69 does again and grabs a side headlock on the mat. Beef gets a facelock and crotches him on the ropes. Beef tries a thrust kick, but Beef gets crotched, impaling his potatoes. eXcEsS climbs the ropes with a SNIPER-PERFECT missile dropkick to the back of the head! Beef gets revenge with forearms, irish whip�eXcEsS handspring backlfips out of the way. Beef uh, sorta kips up, and irish whips XES69. Reversed, Beef tries for his own handspring, and it, um, doesn�t quite work out for him. XES69 capitalizes with stomps and whips him in again, another handspring attempt�and Beef doesn�t do it again! I�m pissing myself from laughter as XES69 stomps Beef�s chest.
Tag to Kid Kamikaze, and they lock up in intense fashion, with XES69 grabbing a cross armbreaker. XES69 gets a Horse Collar, Kid K tries a headscissors takedown, but XES69 lands on his feet and gets a headlock. Kid K reverses to a headscissors on the mat, XES69 bridges over, Kid K powers out, off the ropes, headscissors into a cross armbreaker! Kid Kamikaze escapes, and oh man, CLAMPS ON THE REGAL STRETCH! Haven�t seen that in forever!
Phantom is sick of the technical wrestling shite and SPIKES HIM WITH A J-DRILLER! Phantom wakes up XES69 by slapping him in the face. XES69 covers, but Kid K is in the ropes. Kicks to the ribs by XES69, but Kid K turns it around, and tries for ROLLING TORNADO DDTS! NO! REVERSED TO ROLLING NORTHERN LIGTHS SUPLEXES! Phantom and Beef are in now, Yakuza Kick ducked by Beef, he tries for a piledriver, but Phantom reverses to a KRYPTONITE KRUNCH! TWO COUNT! Series of legdrops by the Phantom, a third misses, and Hi-5 go to town on Phantom with spinal taps, and there are STEREO BASEMENT DROPKICKS TO THE HEAD! DOUBLE POWERBOMB BY HI-5!
XES69 gets frustrated and nails Kid K with a chair, and the action spills to the outside. A table gets set up, Beef is on it, XES69 is looking to do something crazy! No- PHANTOM cuts him off! He wants to backdrop him over the ropes through the table! They try it, and THEY OVERSHOOT THE MARK! Phantom gets even more pissed off, puts XES69 on his shoulder, and POWERSLAMS HIM THROUGH THE TABLE AND BEEF! This is one of the rare instances when a blown spot enhances a match, because it further emphasized that XES69 and Phantom aren�t on the same page.
Beef�s eyes are glazed over, but Kid K and XES69 manage to get back in the ring. XES69 heads to the top, but takes a chairshot to the back from Kid K- AND THERE�S A REVERSE FRANKENSTEINER! Phantom tosses XES69 out of the ring, leaving Beef and Phantom in the ring. Beef is scared shitless, so he runs for his life, until he figures out �hm, maybe I can do something with this chair.� Beef tosses the chair to Phantom and Yakuza Kicks him in the face with it, and guess what? We get LIVE ACTION PICTURE IN PICTURE, as we can see Beef/Phantom in the ring, and Kid K/XES69 on the outside AT THE SAME TIME! How fucking cool is that? Beef has Phantom down, so he bends him over a chair and heads to the top- AAAAASSSSS PUUUUNCH~!~!~! Phantom no-sells! What a jerk! Beef is flabbergasted, and Phantom MAKES HIM PAY with the PHANTOM MENACE! (STORM CRADLE DRIVER!) That gets a�two count? The hell?
Meanwhile, Kid K and XES69 are on the second floor of Le Skratch, hanging over a balcony! Kid K has the advantage�.AND OH MY FUCKING SHIT, KAMIKAZE THREW EXCESS69 25 FEET, OFF A BALCONY, UNPROTECTED, ON HIS HEAD! XES isn�t moving at all, Phantom is nowhere to be seen, only Hi-5 is in the ring. Oh wait, there's Phantom, and he has A PANE OF GLASS!
Hang on through, HERE�S KURT LAUDERDALE (looking like he�s gotten in tremendous shape since Know Your Enemies) and he takes out the Phantom with EMERALD FUSION! Oh man, XES69 has crawled into the ring, the back of his head is completely split open, a pool of blood seeping through his hair. Like an idiot, he tries to take on both of Hi-5, AND THEY FUCKING POWERBOMB HIM THROUGH THE PANE OF GLASS! FUCKING DISGUSTING! XES69 has blacked out from the pain, his back is lacerated Wifebeater-style, but wait a second! KURT TURNS ON HIS BUDDIES! DOUBLE CHOKESLAM TO HI-5!! Phantom brings another glass pane in, and takes advantage laying Beef under the pane, taking Kid K to the top, and HITTING THE PHANTASM (Crucifix Michinoku Driver) THROUGH THE GLASS PANE ON TOP OF BEEF!!! COVER, 1, 2, 3! NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
You know what, you can harp on psychology and flow and selling all you want, but do you want to know what the ultimate indicator of a good wrestling match is? How often you can watch it without getting bored of it. By my count, I�ve watched this match over a dozen times, and I love it each time. This is a **** match in my opinion, period. That said, here�s the constructive analysis:
All four guys in this match busted their ass to put in a memorable effort, and they definitely delivered. Kid Kamikaze especially impressed me in this match, showing that he truly does have extensive technical wrestling chops in the beginning portion, putting together some tight and crisp sequences with XES69. The ending was brutal, dramatic and a fitting end to Hi-5�s title reign.
I do have two problems with this match however. The first is a problem most IWS matches seem to have, in that the wrestlers pull out the most brutal finishers in indy wrestling today, and they get kicked out of. A J-Driller and a Storm Cradle Driver both got two counts, and that�s a big pet peeve of mine. Also, the balcony bump was NOT necessary. XES69, along with Kevin Steen, is the best pure wrestling talent in Quebec, and he�s shortening what could potentially be a high-profile career by taking these needless and stupid risks. There is no reason why they had to do that, a much smaller bump could easily have been used to set up the glass bumps.
So there ya go. Oh, almost forgot. Beef Wellington is still G-d, and I plan on buying his t-shirt.
Winner: XES69/Green Phantom
Rating: ****
Final Thoughts: I�m going to preface this by saying I stand 100% by my thoughts on the first IWS show my friends and I reviewed many months ago. Know Your Enemies was extremely underwhelming and I was disappointed after hearing about all the hype.
That said, Hardcore Heat DID live up to the hype and then some. This show was a thousand times better than Know Your Enemies and was better than a lot of East Coast indy shows I�ve seen. The production, which was already better than all of the independents in North America, has improved even further- in addition to split screen replays, the picture-in-picture action has been another great touch. Also, the video quality is high-end digital, almost cable-TV level, even better than Ring of Honor�s. As far as the commentary goes, the ICP-ish constant swearing and screwing around isn�t for everybody, but for me it�s a selling point- I like having a bit of levity to my wrestling.
As far as the wrestling goes, again, it�s not for your intensely analytical smark fan. It�s Jerry Bruckheimer popcorn wrestling- a bunch of extremely gifted athletes popping off one insane stunt after another before you can blink. It�s wrestling the way it was meant to be, fun, a joyful type of entertainment. I�m telling you guys, you owe it to yourselves to get at least ONE IWS show, it�s completely different from anything you see in the US.
Overall Recommendation: Try this good shit yo. All the cool people are doin� it.
This show, as well as all other IWS videos and merchandise, is available at Emax Wrestling Tapes, at http://xrv.com/iws and by contacting [email protected]
Feedback, free plane tickets, Chanukah presents and alms for the poor can be sent here
As always, be sure to check out the Internet Wrestling Syndicate, at http://www.syndicatewrestling.com.com
And hopefully this will lead to Mr. El Generico taking the price off of my head. I hope...
PS: Thanks to Llakor and Dru Onyx for providing helpful histories and backgrounds for each match on this DVD
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