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SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (2/19/2004)
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on Feb 19, 2004, 21:21
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SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (2/19/2004)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
E-Mail of the Week: For the second time in three weeks, it's Michael Branca chiming in with his thoughts on how Chris Benoit's being used on Raw.
.............and no it won't be a reprisal of the "endless smark bitching" letter from three weeks back. Cause you seem to be more OK with it than some of these REAL endless whiny bitches on the Smarkboard.
What's the purpose of putting Benoit over in every segment every week on RAW leading up to WM? Everyone's gonna go into it thinking he has an ice cube's chance in hell and if they don't, they're gonna be disappointed. Even IF Booker went over at WM, it would have been anticlimactic. Every week, other than the initial "you ain't good enough son" promo, Booker went over HHH in every segment--including a 5-minute whoopass segment
(Book: What you want, Hunter?
HHH: Here (dollar), go get my bags
Booker proceeds to whoop his ass)
and then the pin in the tag match. Much easier to build heat for the underdog face via continually getting screwed over than letting have the advantage (esp if Rock had decided to do the job two weeks prior--which I don't blame him for one damn bit for the record) heading into the match.
So Michaels beat Benoit w the SCM, everyone got their finisher on each other. Benoit got HHH in the crossface, Michaels SCMed Benoit, HHH pedigreed Michaels, see advantage thing above. I wouldn't have necessarily chosen it, but it is what it is. To update a modern cliche, knock me down/get right back up. Simple Benoit goes to Michaels on RAW next week and basically do Michaels' same promo on the Highlight Reel last summer that Michaels only beat him because he took his attention off him. Basically "you didn't beat me etc".
Vince does a hell of a lot to push his own talent (Benoit would not have held the position he has for the last four years if Vince truly had the hate for WCW/ECW talent that smarks seem to think he does, explain the Undertaker and Foley then) but it's up to Wrestler A from there. It's what you make of yourself throughout. After all John Cena seemingly came out of jobbing to the Undertaker fine. Eddie Guerrero came out of getting his face stuck in Chavo's ass okay. I know smarks don't wanna hear it, but Austin was right with a lot of what he said in his book.
You know one can only imagine the Smarkboard having been around in late '91 when Sting jobbed to Rick Rude all the time, which set up for a huge title match when Sting regained the belt (unfortunately WCW sat on it and lost out when Rude got hurt--and VINCE made them look inferior? they did that on their own).
All I really ask is that they build things up so that I can't make a real prediction who's going to win. If all three guys look strong going into the WrestleMania triple threat match, then it's going to do two things. It'll make the match mean more as we won't be expecting one certain finish, and it will mean that nobody will look too weak if they have to do the job. That's why the Royal Rumble worked so well. They built it up so that one of about six or seven guys could have won it, and that made the entire match seem that much better.
And since I couldn't answer mail to AOL subscribers this week for some reason, I want to answer one fan's question: "Why don't you want to see Kane vs. The Undertaker?" It's simple. I saw it at WrestleMania XIV, and it was decent. I saw the Inferno Match a month later. It was OK. I've seen it about 150 times in the last six years. I don't care anymore. The matches simply haven't been good enough over that timeframe to justify putting it on WrestleMania XX. (By the way, the latest rumors are that it won't be an actual match, and if that's the case, THEN WHY BUILD UP TO IT? And you wonder why you get a lot of endless bitching even when they do something right.)
Forums Quote of the Week: From "hail" bps21:
We've been over this before.
What we want is to see them push someone that fans react too before the huge push.
First of all...who says Cena sucks? He's exactly who should be getting pushed right now.
Orton sucks...and isn't over. Cena's super over.
Push Cena.
Stop pushing Orton.
This isn't that hard.
Tonight: It's celebration time for the new WWE Champion, as Eddy Guerrero defeated Brock Lesnar at No Way Out to win it for the first time. But how much time is there for celebration? He already has Kurt Angle waiting for him at WrestleMania XX in 3 1/2 weeks. Plus, The Big Show defends the United States Title against Hardcore Holly.
Segment 1
This past Sunday at No Way Out, Eddy Guerrero won the WWE Championship.
Paul E. Heyman welcomes us to SmackDown. Brock will not appear on SmackDown due to his emotional state. "As impossible as it may seem", Eddy Guerrero is the new WWE Champion, and tonight, he makes his first title defense against the new Cruiserweight Champion, Chavo Guerrero Jr. And a special guest referee will be assigned, but Paul doesn't tell us who.
We are taped 2/17/2004 from Fresno, California! Michael Cole and Tazz will call all the action, including that huge championship main event!
My Olympic Hero is the number one contender, and he's on his way to the ring. Tonight is the night we celebrate the new WWE Champion. Huge "Eddy" chant already. And Angle wanted to be one of the first to congratulate him, as he knows what it's like to prove the critics wrong. But Angle wasn't one of the critics. And as number one contender, it'll be an honor to face Guerrero at WrestleMania XX. Three cheers for Eddy Guerrero! But at two and a half, here comes John Cena. Cena immediately mocks Angle and asks if there's milk and cookies for the party. Um...isn't he supposed to be a face now? Did I miss the memo? Cena wants to celebrate Eddy West Coast style. One section says "Latino", the other says "Heat", all at Cena's prompting. Cena gives Angle his props for winning the triple threat match at No Way Out, but says it sounds like Eddy's going to kick Angle's ass. There's another "Eddy" chant. Angle: "Speaking about kicking asses, how about I kick your MC Hammer ass right now?" Cena: "The only reason I'm MC Hammer is you can't touch this." There's a shoving match, but out comes Heyman to complain about the two of them usurping his authority. He doesn't want to see Angle vs. Cena. He wants to see Angle and Cena as a tag team, and they'll face two angry men -- The Basham Brothers.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Well, it's great to see that the fans gave Eddy all that love, but for the life of me I can't figure out what the hell that segment was supposed to accomplish. I do like the fact that these two guys aren't all buddy-buddy so soon after their last feud, but even I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be rooting for Cena after that segment or not. It sounded like fun for the live crowd, but not for me at home.
Segment 2
My Olympic Hero and John Cena vs. The Basham Brothers
No Shaniqua since she got squashed by a Samoan at No Way Out. Danny and Angle start. Chain wrestling sequence to start, and it's all Angle. Another one, and Angle locks in an armbar. Headlock. Shoulderblock. Armdrag takedown into an armbar. Danny with knees to the midsection. Angle with a lariat for 2. Tag to Cena, and he works over the left arm. Doug tags in. Cena with a spinning back suplex. He pumps up the shoes, and Danny attacks from behind. Spinebuster by Doug for 2. Angle gets shoved into Cena, and now they're standing nose-to-nose.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Well, the opening segment makes a bit more sense right now, as because of it, the tension between is affecting their continuity as a team. Will that be a factor at the end of this one?
Segment 3
Doug has a toehold on Cena, apparently working on Cena's injured knee. Tag to Danny, who stomps away at the knee. During the break, Angle got knocked into Cena's bad knee, setting up the advantage. More kicks to the knee. Danny uses the ropes to wrench the knee. Cena comes out of the corner with a clothesline, and both men are down. Tag to Doug. Cena tries to fight back, but Doug uses a single-leg takedown to prevent the tag. Tag to Danny. Cena with shoulderblocks and a headlock, but Danny stops him with a kneebreaker. Half Boston crab. Cena reaches the ropes for the break. Cena avoids a bodyslam (landing on the leg and no-selling it) and DDTs Danny. Tag to Angle, who has clotheslines and suplexes for both his opponents. Danny avoids an Angle Slam and shoves him into Doug's clothesline. Angle dropkicks Doug, then it's an Angle Slam and a Ankle Lock for Danny. Danny counters, and Cena tags in as Angle goes to the floor. FU, pin at 10:54. Not bad, but what happened to the legwork at the end? ** Cena and Angle argue for a second, but Angle realizes it's still a win and applauds his partner.
Four nights ago, Chavo Guerrero Jr. won the Cruiserweight Championship, thanks to Chavo Guerrero Sr.'s interference. And tonight, he gets a WWE Title shot against his uncle Eddy.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Not a bad match by any stretch of the imagination, as the Bashams wisely work over Cena's knee. Pick out a weakness and exploit it. Solid strategy. Of course, Cena should have had more trouble standing up when executing the FU, which kind of hurt this one.
Segment 4
WrestleMania Recall: Roddy Piper sprays Morton Downey Jr. with a fire extinguisher (WrestleMania V).
Welcome to Fresno's Save Mart Center.
Last month on SmackDown, Hardcore Holly used a steel chair to choke out The Big Show in a street fight. He finally receives a title shot later tonight.
Paul Heyman is on his cell phone, and in comes Dawn Marie, who brings Rey Misterio Jr. in with her. Heyman thinks Rey is going to complain about losing the Cruiserweight Title, but all Rey wants is a rematch. Heyman respects his professionalism, and to reward him, Rey will get a shot at both titles next week if Chavo wins tonight. But since he has a vested interest in Chavo winning, Rey has to take the rest of the night off. They have a deal.
Celebration time, and here comes WWE Champion Eddy Guerrero through the crowd! I gotta give them credit, they're treating this like a huge deal, even dropping confetti and balloons (red, white, and green) from the rafters. I'm glad I don't work the cleanup crew. Eddy seems genuinely touched at the monster reaction he's getting.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Is there anybody who watched that and still doesn't think Eddy winning the title should classify as a great moment? The last time someone got that kind of reaction just for going to the ring was when the SmackDown crowds were giving ten minute ovations to Hulk Hogan during his monthly appearance. Nice touch by Cole and Tazz to remain quiet through most of the segment and letting the picture and sound tell the story.
Segment 5
The music finally stops, but the "Eddy" chant doesn't. And Eddy's got the mic. "Hey, what's all the fuss about? Me?" Usually he's more shy, but as far as tonight, he can say he's the WWE Champion. Another "Eddy" chant. "Or should I say 'we are the WWE Champion'?" He thanks everyone who was behind him from the beginning. You're welcome, Eddy. And for everyone who wasn't with him...um...I don't speak Spanish, but that didn't sound nice. "I didn't go through all this trouble stealing all this confetti and these balloons for nothing", so let's get the party started....and here comes Chavito Guerrero and Chavo Guerrero Sr. Cue the "Chavo sucks" chant, which segues into yet another "Eddy" chant. Chavito's shocked (actually, he's not), as he got the biggest win of his career, but once again Uncle Eddy gets all the attention. Where's his celebration? His fireworks? His confetti? Oh yeah, he's not Eddy (which starts another "Eddy" chant). That's fine, because Eddy's stolen Chavo's spotlight his whole life. "You win your championship, and you get a national holiday!" Well, enjoy the party while you can, because after tonight, Eddy won't be able to celebrate a title reign anymore. Eddy says Chavo's going to get his ass kicked, but Chavo says Eddy always thinks he knows it all. But Chavo just came from Paul Heyman's office. Chavo knows who the referee is going to be tonight. It's someone fair, unbiased, and who will call it right down the middle -- Chavo Guerrero Sr.
Coming up next, the US Title is on the line.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Chavo Sr. is the special referee? Wow, the face gets a whole hour to celebrate before he starts getting screwed over. A good interview for what it was, and I'm definitely getting an Owen Hart vibe from Chavo Jr. here. And that's a good thing except for the fact that he's getting his title shot tonight instead of at Judgment Day or someplace.
Segment 6
24 days until WrestleMania.
One fall for the WWE United States Championship: The Too Damn Big Show (champion) vs. Hardcore Holly
Holly attacks the champion from behind. Clothesline. Another one. And he runs into one from Show. Holly with punches, but Show stops him with a knee. Slap to the chest. Holly kicks away at the knee. Show with a Beell. Holly avoids a Gorilla press and goes back to the knees. Legdrop. And now one off the top rope for a very near fall. Off the second rope, but Show swats away a dropkick. Choke Slam, pin at 2:37. 1/2* So much for Holly's push. And here comes John Cena. He says Show only won because Cena wasn't out there. The short version: Cena wants a US Title shot at WrestleMania. Since Show's never beaten him in a singles match and all. Show tells Cena he has more guts than brains and accepts the challenge. "But understand one thing boy. It's your funeral."
Josh Mathews informs us that Brock Lesnar has just arrived, and he's pissed off.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
And the match (which sucked) means nothing, as we have another match officially signed for WrestleMania. Of course, this should have happened about three months ago when they were actually feuding in the Survivor Series aftermath, but at least they thought enough of the US Title to actually have it defended. Cena probably has to go over at WrestleMania to justify The Big Show's presence on the card.
Segment 7
Lesnar's here and angry because he got speared by Bill Goldberg at No Way Out.
And King Brock I is slowly making his way to the ring. And the crowd taunts him with a Goldberg chant. Lesnar's nearly crying as he says he has too much pride to take the night off. "Eddy's probably gonna go off and pawn it anyways." He can't understand why such a great champion like him could get treated so poorly by these fans. He's modest, isn't he? Eddy is a lying, cheating champion, and that's how he won the title. He capitalized on Goldberg's interference and stole the title. Lesnar vows to regain the title one day soon, but first, he has a score to settle with Bill Goldberg. Brock's life hasn't been the same since Goldberg interfered on Sunday. He vows to break Goldberg in half and asks Vince McMahon (on one knee) to book the match for WrestleMania. Anyone else expecting Vince's voice to boom over the PA like it's the voice God or something?
Chavo Jr. is ready, and he tells his father that after he wins, he'll have a bigger celebration next week in Kansas City. Chavito begs Chavo Sr. to call it down the middle. Chavo Sr.: "Son, I will not let you down." And they hug.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Fairly good promo from the former champion. The "crying" sells how much the title meant to him, and he blames Goldberg for the loss. And before I get e-mails about that aspect of it, remember that Brock is a heel and is supposed to make excuses. Goldberg could have no-showed and Brock could have blamed Goldberg for the loss if he'd wanted to. A bit long, but it gives Vince the opening to announce the Goldberg-Lesnar WrestleMania match this week on Raw.
Segment 8
Last week, No Longer Able Sable and Torrie Wilson hyped the on-sale date of their Playboy issue. Apparently we no longer have to watch Confidential. And there's more in the new issue of SmackDown Magazine with The Undertaker's symbol on the cover. And speaking of The Undertaker, he'll return at WrestleMania XX, and he's been messing with Kane, as these clips from Raw show.
Another backstage attack that nobody saw, this time to Chavo Guerrero Sr. Kurt Angle bitches to Heyman since it happened to him last week, and it's getting out of hand. Angle immediately claims that Eddy Guerrero had nothing to do with it, even though Heyman has said nothing. So no one saw anything, but it wasn't Eddy...uh huh...
The title match is next!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
So we get another backstage attack, probably from the same guy who drove the Hummer and raised the briefcase, and we're apparently in need of a new referee for the main event. Gee, I wonder who they're going to stick in there on such short notice.
Segment 9
Heyman chases Angle backstage, and he thinks Angle might be right about things getting out of hand. And he hands Angle a blue shirt and tells him to referee the main event.
One fall for the WWE Championship with special referee My Olympic Hero: Chavito Guerrero (WWE Cruiserweight Champion) vs. Eddy Guerrero (WWE Champion)
Eddy tosses the belt toward Chavo and clotheslines him. Whip, flying elbow. Bodyslam. Hilo. A series of right hands. Whip, reversal, Chavo with a clothesline. Whip, backdrop. Kicks and punches in the corner. Eddy with a thumb to the eye. Hammerlock. Eddy claims a hair pull and chokes Chavo behind Angle's back. Chokehold in the corner. Into a Gory special submission. Chavo breaks with an armdrag. Eddy with a dropkick for 2. Chavo with punches, then a whip and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2. Choke against the ropes. European uppercut. Chavo with the rolling vertical suplexes. Up top for the frog splash, but Eddy lifts his knees. Chavo charges Eddy and gets backdropped over the top rope. Eddy sets up the pescadoe, but Chavo Sr. makes his way to the ring and distracts Eddy. Chavo Jr. reenters and rolls up Eddy from behind for 2. Eddy regains his composure and hits the rolling vertical suplexes. Chavo Sr. goes to the apron and gets knocked off by Eddy. Back suplex to Chavo Jr., and up top for the frog splash, but Chavo Sr. pulls Chavito away from it, and Eddy favors the knee. That brings out Rey Misterio Jr. to go after Chavo Sr. and the actual combatants are down in the ring.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
So Chavo Sr. recovers faster than anybody else in the recent rash of attacks did, and Rey is able to save Eddy despite agreeing to take the rest of the night off. At least the action inside the ring is quite good so far.
Segment 10
Chavo with a kick to the knee as we return from the break. Elevated half Boston crab. Eddy counters into a Victory roll for 2. Chavo rams Eddy into the turnbuckle and goes back to work on the knee. Dropkick against the turnbuckle for 2. Kicks to the knee as the crowd rallies behind Eddy. Eddy comes back with forearms, but one dropkick to the knee slows the champion down. Mutalock (also known as a chinlock deathlock submission in some circles). Chavo releases and goes into more of a surfboard with an Indian deathlock, then he goes back to the elevated half crab. Eddy kicks Chavo away and gets in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A couple of clotheslines, and he sends Chavo to the corner. Top-rope rana and a late cover for 2. Chavo with another dropkick to the knee. Chavo up top, but Eddy stops him and takes him down with a top-rope superplex. Both men down, and Chavo is bleeding from behind the ear. Chavo goes for a power bomb, but Eddy reverses and hits a power bomb of his own. Frog splash, cover, but Angle stops the count...and gives Eddy the Evil Eye. And he nails Eddy with a right hand. A series of them now, and Eddy rolls to the floor. Angle follows and drops him throat first on the guardrail. And then into the ringsteps. Eddy's busted open as Angle drags him back into the ring. Angle continues the assault by going to work on the cut. Angle Slam, and out comes Rey. He jumps off the top for a rana, but Angle catches him and takes him down with a power bomb. Out goes Rey, and Angle once again works over Eddy's cut as the crowd practically begs for Eddy to make a comeback. Angle goes outside and grabs the belt, then reenters the ring and holds it over his head. Eddy pulls himself to his feet, but Angle uses the belt to knock him down. Angle leaves the ring as a chant of "Angle sucks" fills the arena. No contest somewhere after the 16-minute mark. ***1/4
END OF SHOW
Well, I've got mixed emotions about this one. I mean, the turn seemed to work incredibly well, as Eddy has become so over as a face that Angle is instantly the top heel of the entire SmackDown brand. Seriously, Jesus Christ himself could have risen from the dead and turned on Eddy Guerrero tonight, and the crowd would have chanted "Eddy! Eddy! Eddy!" But for the life of me I can't figure out why the hell Angle would turn on Eddy. I mean, Angle's got the shot guaranteed unless Shawn Michaels decides to sign that contract as well, so it makes no sense to turn on anybody at this point. This is going to take one hell of an explanation to pass off as a good storyline.
Overall, an entertaining two hours that makes you ask the question "Would you like some wrestling with your extended talk show?" Three matches, two of them decent or better, but I find it amazing that there were maybe ten people that actually got on this show with the biggest show of them all just three and a half weeks away. The seeds are planted for some of WrestleMania's key matches, which is good, but that was just some odd pacing for a two hour show.
Thumbs up overall, which I hate doing for a show based around interviews, but it's because what wrestling they did have was entertaining.
Send me some feedback or check out the archives.
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