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Tape Reviews
IWS UnF'nSanctioned
Posted by The Paradise City Ninjas on Mar 25, 2004, 16:19
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Jay: Sure, there are plenty of benefits to being an Internet wrestling tape reviewer- the fame, the free stuff, the fat rats � but there are downsides. The most prominent one (besides puro geeks constantly slamming your ratings because a guy forgot to sell the ankle for two seconds or stupid shit like that) is that you constantly get bugged to do certain shows. One of those shows is IWS UnFnSanctioned, the biggest event in the history of the quickly growing Quebec promotion. So you know what, not only am I doing the review, I�m bringing back two old friends for it- Thomas Green and J.C. Deranged, aka TSM poster �Sandman9000.� So, as they say in French, obtenons ce shit a commenc� (thanks freetranslation.com!)
J.C.: I�m not sure how your girlfriend is going to appreciate being called a �fat rat.� And remember, the last time we reviewed an IWS tape together, we pissed off half of Quebec and Jay still can�t get past the U.S./Canada border without a full cavity search. I don�t even want to know where the authorities are going to be poking Jay after this review.
Tom: First off, I'd like to announce that I will no longer be doing any more star/number ratings, due to the fact that I just think they're dumb. No offense to people who use those, but what is to say that two "***" matches are EXACTLY the same, or two matches both ranked "83" on a scale of 1-100 are the same? I'm just giving thoughts and stuff, maaaaan. One last thing: as I like to say, "Craindre le poin�on d'�ne".
Jay: Taped 9/21/03 from Le Medley in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, your hosts are Brian the Guppie of Team 990�s �Between the Ropes� radio show, and Peter LaSalle. It has to be noted that the place is PACKED, close to 1,000 strong. There�s also a huge video screen and nice looking entranceway/light rig set up, and improvement to IWS� already impressive production.
Dru Onyx vs. �The Triple X Sex XXXpress� Sexxxy Eddy
Dru Onyx, the former IWS champion, dropped the belt a month earlier to the Arsenal in a ladder match at Scarred 4 Life, and is looking to get back on track with a win here. Sexxxy Eddy (who, as you can tell from the name, works a much more risque version of Val Venis� gimmick) is a former 2-time IWS champion, who made his return to the promotion at Body Count.
Prior to the match, Eddy brings out a couple of local strippers for some NC-17 HLA. You�ve gotta admire the IWS, they definitely cater to their core fanbase: slack-jawed, illiterate virgins. The match is underway, and both men start off with a lockup. Onyx backs Eddy into the corner and hammers him with fists and chops. Irish whip, Eddy ducks a clothesline and catches Onyx offguard with a crossbody block for an early two. Onyx comes back with a thumb to the eye, but Eddy drops him again with a dropkick. Eddy looks for a dive, but apparently there�s a miscommunication and Eddy settles for an elbowdrop to the back in the ring instead. Onyx turns the tide and lights Eddy up with chops, and follows up with an avalanche after a whip to the corner. A second try misses, and Eddy muscles Onyx over with a monkey flip for a near fall. Eddy wails away from the mount position, but Onyx continues his uncharacteristic heel tactics with a low blow. Big butterfly suplex by Onyx and he chokes away on Eddy in the corner. Irish whip, Eddy tries a sunset flip but no dice, Onyx tries to sit down on him but hits canvas. Up top, flying crossbody gets 2.9. Eddy can�t slam the 325 pound Onyx, and eats a bigtime lariat. Onyx covers for two and follows up with a NASTY Saito suplex. Another whip, and Eddy blows a basement dropkick, but Onyx sells anyway. Sex on the Beach (a split-legged moonsault) gets two for Eddy, but Onyx goes low again to keep the advantage. Eddy gets bent in half with some stiff punches, and Onyx hits a big splash with EDDY�S LEGS BENT BEHIND HIS BACK-for two! Eddy reverses a turnbuckle ram with a few of his own, whip to the corner, and Eddy hits a Nebraskan tumbleweed. Thinking quickly, he crotches him into the post. Onyx recovers by necksnapping him into the ropes, and steps on his hands. Of course, like a good heel, Onyx ties his shoes while on Eddy�s hand. Eddy tries the comeback, and gets Onyx over with a suplex. 5 Star Porn Splash hits, but Eddy can�t cover immediately and only gets two. Irish whip, and they blow a tilt-a-whirl, but Eddy recovers with an X-Factor. Onyx tries a tombstone, but they blow a tombstone. Eddy hits a Russian Legsweep instead, and nails Total Sexxxtacy (double-jump reverse Harlem Hangover) for the three count. Post-match, Onyx completes the heel turn by blasting Eddy with the Roadkill Spear, and FUCKING POWERBOMBS HIM ON HIS HEAD, FROM THE RING TO THE RAMP! EDDY IS LITERALLY FOLDED IN HALF! Peter LaSalle ��did you see the way he kinda bent over and kissed his own asshole?� Onyx adds insult to injury by tying his shoes on Eddy�s back.
This is a match that was very badly hurt by a total styles clash. Eddy is a cruiser whose main asset is his flexibility and not his strength, while Onyx is basically an �immovable object� brawler, and when the cruiser tries to do his usual moveset to a guy like that, it usually ends in disaster, as proven here. There was some nice back-and-forth action here, but a ton of blown spots and miscommunication. I�d really like to see Eddy work a match with a guy closer to his size- I heard his match with Kevin Steen from Season�s Beatings was fantastic. On another positive note, Dru Onyx pulled off the heel turn very well, and I think he fits better in this role. Can�t give this one a good rating though.
Winner: Sexxxy Eddy
Rating: *3/4
Tom: Like Jay said, this was a total and obvious mishmash. Neither guy really seemed to be on the same page at all in the match. It seemed as if both guys tried working the other's style of match, but ended up failing miserably. They tried really hard, but as most of the guys on the tape seem to be suffering from, they didn't know how to bring it together for a good end product. That being said, the Onyx heel turn at the end was pretty good, and that powerbomb on the ramp was brutal-looking.
J.C.: I don�t think it was hurt that bad by the styles clash. Eddy (who has recently grown a goatee and looks WAY too much like Tommy Dreamer) and Onyx worked well with the �big man/little man� match, as Eddy�s offense was very believable at points. Specifially, how Eddy primarily relied on strikes and flying for his offense, and I can believe Eddy using a monkey flip to toss Onyx moreso than using a vertical suplex. Your legs are stronger than your arms, Eddy should be able to warm up with Onyx�s weight on the leg press. Eddy also bumped like crazy for Onyx as well. As for the miscommunication spot, that was Onyx simply being smart and getting back into the ring before Eddy could jump onto him. He goes too early, and Eddy punishes him for his mistake. The only unintentional mistake was some kind of headscissors spot, and the two worked around it enough. Finally, Onyx does a convincing heel turn at the end, killing Eddy with a nasty powerbomb onto the ramp. This reminds me of Lance Storm v. Jerry Lynn from ECW�s Anarchy Rulez �99, using two very established stars to do a solid mat-based opener. Good match.
Rating: 8
Jay: Earlier in the show, �The Natural� Steve Royds made his return to the IWS, defeating one-half of the pile of crap Red Army team, Iceberg. FRED LE MERVEILLE~! graciously offered the Francophone Royds a spot in the SLI, only to be turned down with a clothesline from the ungrateful Royds. Never fear however, as Quebec wrestling veteran Marc Le Grizzly made his debut, crushing Royds with a sitout powerslam and joining the SLI. The foxy IWS nurse tends to Fred�s wounds, but Fred has integrity and turns her down, for not being French. Fred takes a slap from the whore (who I bet isn�t even properly registered) as the price for his beliefs.
J.C.: Royds needs to put pants on. Seriously. And give credit to the IWS: the girl quality has improved tenfold from KYE. Too bad Fred can�t recognize that, and the nurse has to tell Fred what the five fingers said to the face.
Syndicat de Lutte Internet (Viking and Damien) vs. Los Latinos (Latino Mysterio and Latino Kid) vs. The Flying Hurricanes (Takao and Kenny the Bastard) vs. Xtreme Revolution (Crazy Crusher and Nightmare Manson) ��SLI Invitational� Scramble Match
Jay: Not much background to this one, other than that the SLI offered an open challenge to any tag team in the IWS for this show, and the other three teams answered it.
J.C.: A.K.A., spotfest. It�s kinda under scramble match rules, with a little more scramble than match for the most part.
Jay: Viking and Kenny kick this one of quickly, with Kenny taking Viking down with a flying headscissors and a 619 (a move you�re gonna see a lot on tonight�s show). Viking catches him back in, and stiffs the crap out of him with back chops in the corner. Kenny charges, but takes a NICE Dragon Suplex, and Viking destroys him with a spinning uranage backbreaker, and a DISGUSTING FISHERMAN�S PILEDRIVER, STRAIGHT ON HIS HEAD. The SLI team up for the m�nage a trois (Hit Squad cannonball, followed by three running bootscrapes) but here come MORE BOOTSCRAPES! 6, 7, 8, and Kenny is pushing up daisies. He wisely tags out to Latino Mysterio, who gets another headscissors and a pair of armdrags on Damien. Mysterio does the Aguila fancy jumping armdrag, but Damien gets up a PUNCHES HIM STRAIGHT IN THE FACE! I love it. Nighmare Manson and Latino Kid come in now, and Manson ducks a spinkick and counters with a side Ace Crusher. Manson works him over in the corner, but Kid jumps off with a crossbody for two. Manson hits a Styles faceplant, and Crusher and Takao come in. They exchange a lightning-fast counter sequence, and take takes him down with a Fujiwara armbar. Crusher back up, another fast whip sequence ends with a dropkick to the knee. Crusher heads up top, cut off by Takao with a RELEASE GERMAN SUPERPLEX! I can�t really describe this next sequence, except that all 8 guys end up in the ring and slap submissions on each other, and it�s a really cool visual. It�s Indy Dive Sequence time �Crusher with a 450 to the floor, Kid with a running dive, Takao with a 360 somersault dive, Mysterio with a moonsault. Kenny goes to try his own wacky top-rope thing, cut off by Crazy Crusher on the top- SUPER FRANKENSTEINER TO THE FLOOR~! HOLY SHIT! Takao goes for a suplex on Damien, and it turns into another 8-way spot, with four guys suplexing the other four guys. Takao and Viking trade shots and he hits the Takao Driver- save by Manson. He hits AJ Styles� suplex into a neckbreaker. Save by Kenny, who nails a Code Red, save by Mysterio. Backbreaker by LM, Damien breaks it up with a snap suplex. Crazy Crusher stops the pinfall, and goes No Mercy style with two powerbombs, into a DVD- NO, HEAD INTO ONE BUCKLE, HEAD INTO THE OTHER- SPIKE DVD! Latino Kid saves, they end up on the top, and Kid hits some sort of head drop thing off, killing Crusher. Takao clips Kid from behind, and the Hurricanes hit Unpredictable Motion for the first elimination. The SLI jump the Hurricanes from behind and dump Kenny, leaving Takao prey to �Tueur des Policiers� (assisted Vertebreaker) for elimination #2. Fred tries to close out the match by loading up the knux, but it�s heel miscommunication time, and Xtreme Revolution nail the Revolutionizer (Vertebreaker/Air Raid Crash combo) for the victory.
As a spotfest, this is wicked wild, with tons of sick moves I�ve never seen before and aerial insanity that�s better than a lot of ROH scramble matches. Crazy Crusher really stood out in this one- in all my years of watching wrestling, he�s one of the two most athletically gifted wrestlers I�ve ever seen (Jack Evans being the other one) and is extremely powerful. A little more seasoning, and he�ll definitely be a name you�re going to hear a lot. As a match, there are two things that I didn�t care for �the first being that since this was an elimination match, opposing teams should not be making saves for each other. The second flaw was that ALL of the eliminations came at the end, rather than being spread out- that�s just poor match structure. This was a ****1/2 spot exhibition, and a **1/4 actual wrestling match, so we�ll roughly split the difference here.
Winners: Xtreme Revolution
Rating: ***1/4
J.C.: Wicked. Like we couldn�t tell you were from Boston before, Jay. Fuck the Sux. For a scramble, they do a decent enough job, but the inexperience of the teams really shows here. They just don�t do the little things which make a good match great and a great match excellent. Spots are just slightly off, they don�t having their timing down great, some of the bumps are awkward. Give credit to Crazy Crusher and Kenny the Bastard, that balls-out super-rana to the floor was nuts. As for the eight-man spots, the submission spot was neat, I give them credit for that. As for the suplex spot, though, the teaming was off; I had Xtreme Revolution, Takeo and Viking suplexing the Latinos, Damien and Kenny, so we had partners suplexing partners. I don�t know if it was to be two teams suplexing two teams, or one man from each team on each side and people are supposed to be suplexing their partners. I also need to check dates, but I believe that this spot was done first at ROH�s Death Before Dishonor, with the SAT and the Backseat Boys suplexing Special K members. Jay is also correct; in an elimination match you should not be saving anyone other than your own partner. Finally, they shouldn�t be hitting massive headdrops and top rope Germans in the opening minutes of the match. As a whole, it�s a good little spotfest, but when you really sit down and look over the match, it�s flaws stick out, and you can chalk most of them up simply to in-ring inexperience, but that�s what happens when you have 17 year-olds out there.
Rating: 5
Tom: I can be a fan of spotfests on tape, but only if everything hits and it's not the "same old, same old". That being said, this wasn't that bad. They didn't really differentiate outside of the ROH scramble formula, which I didn't like. But, they did create some new spots to throw into the formula to try and stand out from the batch. The two spots that stand out in my mind are Viking's double-underhook side piledriver thingy, which Jay's description doesn't do justice in the least (but none can; the move was unreal), and the eight-way submission spot, which looked quite cool for a huge mutation of the old "three way sleeper" spot from every three-way match from 1993-2000. Everyone here busted their asses, but the one problem that comes with these types of matches is that no one really stands out of everyone is doing all of the flippy stuff, and that's how it came off to me, as I honestly could not point out any one guy in that match by name, based on something he did in there.
Kevin Steen vs. XES69
Jay: Kevin Steen, like a good chunk of the IWS roster, was trained by Jacques Rougeau and Eric Mastrocola, and quickly built his reputation outside of the IWS as one of the most technically gifted wrestlers in Quebec. Steen made news on the indy scene recently when Rougeau forced him to make a choice: he could take a WWE dark match, but he would have to work for Rougeau�s fed exclusively. Steen told Rougeau to screw off and kept his bookings with other feds. Steen had made an open challenge for this show (his debut in the IWS), and XES69 accepted, and thus came about the battle between the �Best in Quebec.� This is actually the first straight singles match I�ve seen XES69 in, so I�m interested to see how he performs.
Steen and XES have a macho staredown to start, and immediately ground and pound. XES grabs a front facelock, reversed by Steen to a waistlock. Steen grabs a facelock of his own, but XES takes him down with a drop toehold and a headlock. XES tries to reverse to a pin, but Steen hangs on. XES clamps on a headscissors on the mat, Steen reverses to a leglock, XES reverses THAT to a grapevined Yamada legbreaker. Steen makes the ropes and tries to reverse to an Indian deathlock, but XES turns that around and they grab top wristlocks on each other. Irish whip, XES takes him down the a shoulder block, off the ropes again- Steen telegraphs a monkey flip and XES folds him up for two. Another whip, XES backflips over, another rope run, Steen tries a handspring elbow and XES dropkicks him in the face. XES hits a 619, but plays to the crowd too much and eats a NICE superkick. Steen tries a 619 but gets dropkick in the chest. XES heads to the ropes, Steen cuts him off, but NO! TORNADO DDT TO THE SIDE OF THE APRON! PERFECT ASAI MOONSAULT BY XES! Outside the ring, XES gets rammed into the post. Steen comes back with a springboard dropkick, for a two count. Side suplex by Steen, and he keeps the aggression with a pair of legdrops and a somersault legdrop. Steen heads to the top, XES tries to stop him but gets shoved off. Graceful moonsault- misses! Off the ropes, Steen catches a roundhouse kick and turns into into a cool-as-shit pumphandle/half-nelson suplex for 2.9. Lygerbomb by Steen gets another two count. Steen tries for rolling vertical suplex, but XES escapes, grabs a wristlock, jumps up to the top, and BACKFLIPS INTO A DDT! FUCKING AWESOME! Fisherman�s Suplex by XES gets two, German Suplex gets two. Steen shoves off another German attempt, but XES turns it into four rolling Northern Lights suplexes. VERY nice touch as XES crosses his leg to apply more pressure to the bridge, but it only gets two. XES places Steen on the top, superplex attempt, but STEEN REVERSES MID-AIR INTO HIS OWN! THAT GETS TWO! Steen heads to the top again, stopped again by XES- ONE-MAN SPANISH FLY! XES gets two! He covers again, two again! XES heads up now- PHOENIX SPLASH- NOBODY HOME! PACKAGE PILEDRIVER~! NO! XES� FOOT ON THE ROPE! Steen pulls him back- ANOTHER two count! Steen is getting frustrated. He snapmares him over, and gets him with a pair of spinal tapes. Another one- NO! FLASH ROLLUP BY XES! 1, 2, 3! XES tries for the respect handshake, but Steen�s a spoilsport and hangs him in the ropes, and DRILLS him with a chairshot for good measure.
This is by far the smartest wrestling match I�ve seen out of the IWS. There�s a very clear storyline here, with each man trying to top each other in every aspect, from matwork to highspots to finishers in a match-long game of one-upsmanship (�you can do a 619? So can I! You did rolling verticals, I�ll do rolling Northern Lights! Beat that!�) Both men threw in some very subtle touches to add to the realism of the match- the leg cross for extra pressure, the multiple pin covers off of major high-impact maneuvers. It was paced incredibly well, with every move gradually gaining impact, until XES was able to pick up the win by having a cooler head and outsmarting the frustrated Steen. A fantastic technical wrestling match, one of many I hope.
Winner: XES69
Rating: ****1/2
J.C.: The best wrestling match I�ve seen in the IWS. Steen and XES have a simple storyline going here: two young wrestlers who are considered to be the best in Quebec and pull out nearly all the stops to prove so. They show that they are nearly equally matched, with XES having a flying advantage (punishes Steen for going for the handspring and 619 spots) and Steen having a mat advantage (counters nearly every XES hold.) The two go back and forth, equally matched up, don�t ruin big spots (XES grabbing the ropes instead of kicking out of Steen�s big spots), and XES wins after Steen doesn�t get the win with his Package Piledriver and loses his cool accordingly. When you keep it simple so that everyone can understand, matches turn out good.
XES and Steen both have bright futures, although I believe that Steen has a brighter future than XES. Each of them are fine wrestlers, and lack something which the other has. For Steen, it�s the look. He�s a big boy, but comes out and wrestles in a pair of athletic shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt with wrestling shoes, and isn�t defined in terms of muscle tone. For XES, he can�t talk. His English is shaky, and speaking French isn�t going to get you over in the U.S., no way in hell. Steen can cut promos (he cut a helluva promo on PCO at the last IWS show) and XES has the look (defined body, wrestling gear). I think it�s easier for Steen to improve upon his flaws than it will be for XES to improve upon his. Steen just needs some better gear and to bulk up some (even if it means taking stuff that will render him ineligible to play every professional sport except baseball), and Vince will come knocking. You don�t get WWE tryouts by pure luck. I don�t know if XES will be able to improve his English, or to eliminate his accent. If Kevin Steen can improve on his look, and get into the U.S., he�ll turn heads. I�d love to see him in the 2004 IWA-MS TPI.
Rating: 8
Tom: I definitely don't see what's so special here. I mean, they did try to bring the storytelling of the one-upsmanship, but so did those horrible RVD/Lynn matches. Like those matches, this just came off to me like a bunch of spots that have no meaning or connection until the end of the match. But, I thought Steen really showed some raw instincts as a worker in the ring that probably no one else in the promotion has. He nailed all of the little things, despite the big picture not working, and that's a big step in the way of being really great someday.
Kid Kamikaze and Kurt Lauderdale vs. BEEF WELLINGTON~! and Pierre Carl Oulett
Jay: As seen at Hardcore Heat, Kurt Lauderdale turned on Hi-5, causing them to lose their IWS tag titles to Green Phantom and XES69. A month later, the world wailed in despair as Kid Kamikaze, fed up with Beef�s antics, turned on his ass-punching partner at Born to Bleed and took Kurt�s side. To even the odds, Beef brought in his mentor and training partner, former WWF Tag Team champion, WCW Hardcore champion, ECW and All Japan star Pierre Carl Oulette. Following a long hiatus, PCO got himself in tremendous physical shape, and this match began a comeback that culminated in an IWS Heavyweight title win at Praise the Violence and a month-long stint in NWA-TNA as �X.�
J.C.: Yeah, that X gig really went somewhere.
Jay: Beef tries to jump Kurt with forearms, but quickly gets steamrollered by the bigger Lauderdale and nailed with a Northern Lights Bomb. Kurt misses a legdrop and gets kicked in the back by Beef, who smartly tags out to PCO. Kurt drops PCO in a clothesline and immediately hits his finisher, the Career Killer (Fireman�s Carry Spinebuster). PCO no-sells it and nails his own Career Killer on Lauderdale. Kurt gets whipped into the buckle and takes a charging clothesline. Kurt tags to Kid Kamikaze, but not before he clips PCO with another lariat. PCO no-sells the much scrawnier Kid K�s chops, and lights him up with shots of his own. PCO biels Kid K across the ring and tags in Beef, who hits a sloppy Thesz Press on Kid K. Kid K wins the fist exchange on the mat, but takes to long mugging the camera, and Beef completes the Steve Austin tribute by stomping a mudhole in him. Beef spins Kid K into a sitout powerbomb for a quick two. Off the ropes, Beef hits a tilt-a-whirl Catatonic. Beef charges, but Lauderdale pulls the rope down, sending the Westmount Warrior to the outside. Kid K with some forearms, irish whip and a nice satellite headscissors takes Beef down. Boomerang clothesline by Kid K keeps Beef down, and Kid K locks in a Texas Cloverleaf. Lauderdale comes in and drops a big leg, brother, and thrills the crowd with a bearhug. Overhead belly-to-belly by Kurt, and the heels hit a slightly botched Buggy Bang, but Beef gets a hand on the ropes. Beef tries to make the comeback with the E. Coli Tiger Driver, but Kid K takes him back down for 2. Here comes the old fuckin� �I didn�t see the tag shit� in LaSalle�s words- �turn around you stupid fuck!� Beef gets another hope spot, running him into the buckles chest first from the Tiger Driver position, but Kid K prevents the tag. Heel miscommunication leads to a Yakuza Kick by Beef, and here�s the hot tag to PCO! Clotheslines take the heels down, and he hits a pair of sitout powerbombs. Avalanche by PCO, missile dropkick by Beef. The faces have Kid K on the top- SUPER SITOUT POWERBOMB! PCO throws Kid K onto Lauderdale, and Beef lands a springboard dive to the outside. 235-POUND SOMERSAULT PLANCHA BY PCO! Ref gets bumped off a Kid K avalanche, and a table is set up in the corner. Outside, Lauderdale kinda hits a spinebuster on the stage to PCO. Beef kicks away on Kid K, but there�s a SKULL TOSS BY LAUDERDALE THROUGH THE TABLE! Everyone just kinda lays around for a little bit until PCO CANNONBALLS OFF THE TOP, THROUGH A TABLE ONTO LAUDERDALE! Back in, Beef has recovered, and there�s the AAAASSSSSSS PUUUUUUUNCH~!~! Beef takes out Kid K with the E. Coli Driver through the table! Kurt is back in, and tries to superplex PCO. He gets shoved off, and PCO and Beef hit the old Quebecers finisher, Le Bomb de Rougeau, for the victory.
This match exposed the Westmount crew�s inexperience bigtime. There was a lot of awkward movement and several dead spots throughout the whole match. Kid K and Lauderdale seemed especially lost during this thing, and while PCO bumped like a freak at the end to try and salvage this, it wasn�t enough. At 20 minutes, this got waaay too much time, and the match suffered because of it. However, Beef Wellington is still like Jesus, but not in a sacrilegious way. He�s crucifictacular.
Winners: Beef Wellington/Pierre Carl Oulette
Rating: �*
J.C.: Not. Good. As Jay said, the Westmount crew were exposed big time here. Lauderdale is still green as shit, Kid K and Beef just weren�t working well for whatever reason, and PCO ended up having to save this by bumping like crazy at the end. Lauderdale needs more experience, flat out. He�ll always be given more chances because of his size, this still is wrestling, but he needs more in-ring time and an expanded moveset. I�m still not sold on Kid K, I�ve seen him twice and both times he looked weak in the match. I don�t care if he is the stiffest worker on the roster, he just doesn�t look good in the ring. Beef is similar to Colt Cabana and �Spyder� Nate Webb in that they have their own little comedy niche worked out, but both Cabana and Webb are better wrestlers then Beef. PCO comes out looking the best as none of his stuff looked bad. It was all crisp and clean, and his somersault cannonball to the outside to put Lauderdale through a table looked great. In contrast, Lauderdale trying to skulltoss Beef through the table in the corner came out like crap, and Beef tiger-driving Kid K through a table came out well, though I still think that the J Driller on Justice Pain through a table is eons better. To sum this match up, too long, not good.
Rating: 3
Tom: This match was way too long, and you could tell that they didn't know what to do with the time. They seemed to start off well, getting the regular tag formula in, with Beef as the Jebus-in-peril. But, after they did the less-than-hot tag, the match completely fell apart. Everyone started doing spots just for the sake of doing spots, and it was overkill of the overkill. PCO's top rope powerbomb being kicked out of was bad enough, but when the E. Coli Driver (double-underhook piledriver) through a table isn't the finish, it's a bit much. I thought PCO would be able to keep this match together, based on his experience, but he looked just as bad as them. If anything, and this isn't just blind love for the man, I thought Beef did the best job of holding the thing together. Lauderdale was decent, but he needs to learn how to work like a big man and not just a really big little guy. It looks dumb when the monster is doing the same moves and taking the same bumps as his much smaller opponents. Kamikaze looked really bad here, and I hope he was just having an off-night.
Jay: Hey, guess what, it�s IWS owner Carol Cox�s birthday! And we celebrate with HLA and simulated (?) analingus! Hussah! However, the Fan Favorites crash the porno fun, as Arsenal strips Cox while TV�s Mike Patterson rambles incoherently. Before further humiliation can occur, PCP Crazy Manny make his triumphant return to the IWS and drives them off? But what�s he doing there? Foreshadowing my friends, foreshadowing�
J.C.: Well, Manny�s actually there to accept the referee job for the main event, under the guise that he�s the only one crazy (re: broke) enough to do it. And I�m amazed at Jay passed up at the obvious brown-nosing joke with Seska sticking her face into Cox�s rectum. Finally, ripping off a designer dress? Since when was J.C. Penny a designer?
Tom: As the saying goes: if I wanted to watch this crap, I'd have my of-age friends rent me a porn flick. Yep, it sucks to only be 16...
El Generico vs. The Arsenal � -IWS Heavyweight title match
Jay: After his first-ever IWS Heavyweight championship victory, Arsenal decided he was going to have a pushover opponent as his first defense, and handpicked the �jobber who never jobs� El Generico as his challenger, who had been on sort of a losing streak prior to this show. This is Genrico�s 2nd shot at the IWS title, almost beating Dru Onyx at Freedom to Fight. Will the Arsenal pay for his arrogance? We shall see.
Arsenal pounds away on Generico, but Generico escapes and grabs a waistlock. Arsenal reverses to a full nelson, escaped by Generico. Generico takes him over with an armdrag and hits a chinlock, quickly escaped by Arsenal. After both men play to the crowd, Arsenal charges and gets put into a tizzy with more armdrags. Pissed of, Arsenal drops Generico with a diving clothesline. Arsenal clamps on a nasty armbar variant, but releases the hold when Generico refuses to tap. Hangmans� neckbreaker and swinging neckbreak transition to a butterfly front facelock, and Arsenal puts Generico on the mat for two. Arsenal puts Generico on the top for a superplex, but Generico shoves him off. Swanton bomb�hits knees, and Arsenal plants him with his patented Wrist-clutch Exploder. Arsenal goes to the top rope- nope, crotching time. Generico tries a ten count- Arsenal tries to shoves him off but Generico backflips and lands on his feet! Generico eats boot on a blind charge and DRIVES HIM DOWN with a tornado DDT! Cover gets another pair of near falls. Irish whip, Generico grabs a waistlock and hits two rolling German suplexes for two. Arsenal charges�Generico moves and the champ falls to the outside. Generico fakes out Arsenal on a dive attempt�tries another dive through the ropes�and EATS A CHAIR TO THE FACE! Arsenal lays the chair in the ring- irish whip, Generico with a boot to the gut tries for a piledriver, TURNED INTO A KRYPTONITE KRUNCH ON THE CHAIR BY ARSENAL! Arsenal lays Generico�s head across the chair- slingshot kneedrop! Yeeowch! Another whip, Generico ducks a clothesline, Arsenal tries a rana�GENERICO TURNS IT INTO A POWERBOMB ON THE CHAIR! Cue the babyface comeback, big clothesline by Generico! Another! Irish whip to the corner- RUNNING YAKUZA KICK TO THE FACE! Standing moonsault gets�2.9! Suplex by Generico, followed up by a springboard elbowdrop for another nearfall. Generico dumps Arsenal to the outside and hits him with a couple of hard chairshots to the back. Generico comes back in�.ASAI MOONSAULT! Generico brings him back in�for a two count. Generico signals for the finish, but Arsenal turns it into a release Tiger Suplex! Another running Yakuza Kick, another, ANOTHER! Michinoku Driver by Generico gets ANOTHER two count! Generico slams a chair in Arsenal�s face, setting up for the somersault Van Terminator�HITS IT! DEEP COVER, 1, 2, NO! Generico goes up top again, Arsenal kicks him down with a thrust kick, has him in the Electric Chair�MOTHERFUCKING DVD2K1~! 1, 2, AND ARSENAL PICKS HIM UP! Arsenal tries another one�REVERSED INTO A QUEBRADA DDT! 450 SPLASH�NAILS IT! 1, 2�.2.9! Generico dumps him again, and they go tooling around through the crowd, and we finally get a look at just how fucking huge the crowd is. Generico lays Arsenal across a set of tables, and starts heading up to the balcony! But Arsenal is up! They start fighting up on the balcony, both men barely hanging on the edge�ARSENAL�S GOT HIM IN A FIREMANS� CARRY- PERFECT DVD OFF THE 15 FOOT BALCONY, THROUGH FIVE TABLES! Generico is DEAD, and the heels carry him back to the ring for the three count.
This was such a well-booked title match, very much in the vein of Ricky Morton vs. Ric Flair, but with an ECW edge to it. It put both men over, with Generico coming oh so believably close to winning the belt, and Arsenal being able to withstand Generico�s huge offensive onslaught, and putting him away in spectacular fashion (the ending was number 5 on the PCN�s Top 10 Bumps of 2003 list.) To me, the part of the match that most stood out was the pickup after the DVD2K1. It shows the cockiness of the champion (which he appropriately paid for later) and adds the unpredictability factor that maybe Generico could pull off the massive upset later in the match. Toss in some fun hardcore highspots, and you�ve got a great title match that drew me emotionally into the action bigtime.
Winner: The Arsenal
Rating: ***3/4
Tom: I can usually stay respectfully silent when Jay breaks out a comment I disagree with, but comparing this to Flair/Morton is like comparing Mozart to Hanson, in that there is no comparison. That being said, Arsenal definitely broke out as the guy who was capable of telling the best story in the ring, as he got his working of Generico's neck over to set up for the DVD2K1 over clear and precise to me, the home viewer. Generico actually wasn't too bad, as he properly sold the neck most of the time. But, like the previous match, once they broke formula, it became unbridled overkill. Between the Air Raid Crash (Kryptonite Krunch) on the chair, Generico being able to reverse the DVD2K1 right after being hit with one, and the balcony DVD through the tables, it all came off as way too much. But, that balcony DVD was freakin' insane, and a spectacle of itself.
J.C.: I see it that way too. It was 20 minutes of nothing leading up to an insane bump, which really wasn�t necessary. The story they were trying to tell was that nothing Arsenal had could put Generico away, so Arsenal has to resort to drastic measures. However, that isn�t conveyed in the ring. Arsenal pulling up Generico after hitting his finisher through two open chairs doesn�t show off desperation. Generico also sells the neck sporadically, and the neck work goes completely away at the end. It also doesn�t help that Generico is bigger than Arsenal (Arsenal is the smallest person on the roster, maybe an inch or two taller then the Latinos), and so Generico is stuck in the role of the larger wrestler, which he does not excel at. There�s some decent psychology in this (which ends up for naught), and the nice DVD2K1 bump onto the open chairs, but FF this one to the insane bump at the end. We talked about it in our Top 10 Bumps of 2003 article, so read about it there. As for this match�
Rating: 5 (3 for the match, and an extra 2 for the bump)
The Hardcore Ninjaz (1 and 2) vs. Green Phantom and PCP Crazy Manny (subbing for XES69)� -IWS Tag Team title match, Fans Bring the Weapons
Jay: Back at Freedom to Fight, the Hardcore Ninja Number 2 (aka Evil Ninja) destroyed his brother in a No Rope Barbed Wire match, putting him out of action. Evil Ninja tooled around in singles competition for a few months, until his he and his brother reconciled at Scarred 4 Life, costing Dru Onyx the title and joining up with Arsenal in the Fan Favorites. The reunited Ninjaz were granted a title shot against the champions, Green Phantom and XES69 in the annual Fans Bring the Weapons match. However, IWS President Seska declared that since XES69 was already signed to fight Kevin Steen, he could not compete in the match. Phantom was left to choose another partner, and seconds before the match, chose PCP Crazy Manny, who had been retired for a year after losing a retirement stip match to El Generico. Phantom and Manny used to team as the enormously popular Green Drugs, but the duo never won the tag titles. Ironically, the last time we say Manny, Phantom badly injured him at Violent Valentine 2003, powerbombing him through a mattress of 50 light tubes. I have a feeling I�ll be saying the words �light tubes� a lot in the play-by-play.
J.C.: You act like lighttubes are a bad thing.
Jay: Manny mercifully shuts Mike Patterson up by bashing him with a light tube. Manny whips Ninja 1 into the ropes and gets him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Everybody spills to the outside and trades tube shots. Phantom and Ninja 2 have lightsaber tubes! Phantom wins the duel and bashes him with both tubes. The fans in the front rows and the referee have medical masks to protect them with from cancerous light tube gas. That�s how bad this match is going to get. Manny suplexes Ninja 1 onto light tubes. The Ninjaz break outlight tubes with thumbtacks attached to them, and bash them over Manny and Phantom. Phantom recovers and nails his Acid Drop (double stomp assisted by a light tube skateboard). Phantom grabs both Ninjaz and tries for a double powerslam, but the Ninjaz escape and hit a double Eye of the Hurricane on tubes. Double back suplex by the Ninjaz Both teams exchange more tube-smashing, and Phantom has�a HAM~! SPIKE DDT OFF THE ROPES INTO THE HAM! DOUBLE UNDERHOOK PILEDRIVER ON THE HAM! The other Ninja gets whipped into more light tubes. Manny gets knocked off the ropes, onto a table with tubes, weapons, and a lit birthday cake. Ninja 2 adds injury to injury by smashing more light tubes on him. A second Phantom Acid Drop accidentally hits Manny, and Ninja 2 takes advantage with a running somersault plancha onto Phantom. LaSalle- �A WRESTLING MOVE!� Ninja 1 is on the top rope with a TV, and the TV catches Manny IN THE RIBS! Ninja 2 hits a spinning heel kick. Manny brings out a light tube bazooka, on top of a light tube anarchy symbol. Irish whip, and Manny gets thrown into the shit again. The Ninjaz team up and hit a double Death Valley Driver on Phantom through a wooden cross with light tubes on it. Ninja 1 rubs a cheese grater on Manny�s forehead as Ninja one tries a springboard dive- BUT GETS CAUGHT WITH LIGHT TUBES TO THE STOMACH! Phantom recovers and brings a guardrail into the ring and sets it across some chairs.. BRAINBUSTER THROUGH THE GUARDRAIL BY PHANTOM! Phantom follows up with a Kryptonite Krunch, and the ring is covered in a layer of broken glass. Phantom nails a chokebomb on Ninja 2 onto tubes as Manny brings in MORE light tubes. Ninja 1 has a tube machine gun, and hits Manny with it. Ninja 2 then keeps Manny down with a superkick through MORE tubes. Phantom�s got Ninja 1 though �PHANTASM OFF THE APRON THROUGH A LIGHT TUBE LOG CABIN! Manny brings in a light tube cactus, but gets caught with more tubes. The referee has apparently run away. SPIKE TOMBSTONE ON LIGHTTUBES by the Ninjaz, but Manny is back in�and gets kicked off through a guardrail with light tubes on it. Phantom has recovered- PHANTOM MENACE ONTO LIGHT TUBES! More smashery all around, but NINJA 1 ACCIDENTALLY HITS HIS PARTNER WITH THE CACTUS. LaSalle: �It�s too soon for a heel turn! They just got back together!� Side suplex by Ninja 1, and there�s Total Elimination! The Ninjaz go for their finisher Pearl Harbor (Double Arabian Facebuster) but miss. Phantom grabs one Ninja, kicks a chair into the other�s face, Phantasms them on top of each other, and the referee dives out of hiding enough to make the three count.
Wow, that was quite possibly the sickest thing I have ever seen, no lie. I think 400 light tubes must have gotten used in that match. Just...wow. There was some wrestling in there, but I don�t think you can rate this as a match. It�s a 20-minute, nonstop smashfest. If gory violence is your thing, you�ll really like it, but if not, you�ll hate it. Simple as that. But if you want opinion, for pure smashery and weapon use, it tops every other death �match� I�ve seen.
Winners: Green Phantom and PCP Crazy Manny
Rating: NR
Tom: There was blood, lighttubes...and blood and lighttubes. Yep, there was plenty of both blood and lighttubes. Like Jay said, if the gory deathmatch stuff is your thing, you'll love this. If not, don't watch this match. It personally isn't my thing, so I personally didn't enjoy this. But, saying that, there was more than one thing in this match that made me squeal like a little girl just watching it.
J.C.: Jay and Tom may not be able to rate this, but I sure as fuck can!
Wrestling: Well, not much, but that�s what you get when you have such an environment. FBTW matches are always tough for the wrestlers, simply because they have no clue what the sick-fuck fans are going to bring. The Ninjas had some nice double-team spots (particularly the double DVD through the wood and lighttube cross), and Phantom did a good job with his as well, however Manny really didn�t bring much to the table wrestling-wise. Even for a deathmatch, there really wasn�t much wrestling in this
Wrestling Rating: 2
Psychology: This was the Ninjas beating the shit out of Phantom and Manny, with Phantom getting sporadic offense and Manny occasionally doing something. I haven�t seen any of the other IWS FBTW matches, so I can�t say if they played off any previous matches. (These two teams met in the 2001 BTW match.) Some decent psychology, but not in a deathmatch sense.
Psychology Rating: 2
Violence: Here we go. Lightubes after lighttubes after lighttubes. And before you complain, that�s not a bad thing, depending on what you do with the tubes and the other various weapons. If all you do is smash lighttubes over a person, people might get bored with that. (Not me, but others might.) However, they did a good job of switching up the weapons used and how the weapons were used, especially since 99.9% of the weapons were glass. Phantom took some nasty stuff, as did the Ninjas, but Manny only bumped here, and really didn�t even bump that big. The problem with this match is that three of the four competitors are wearing masks and sleeveless shirts, meaning that the only blood can come from the arms. Manny�s out there in jean shorts and a wifebeater, but really didn�t lose that much blood, or at least enough to compare with the damage he was taking. I know I�ve been spoiled with CZW and IWA deathmatches, and it�s unrealistic to expect these people to bleed at the level of a Wifebeater, of a Nick Mondo, of a Necro Butcher, or a Corporal Robinson, but with a match such as this, copious amounts of blood are necessary. Manny was the only one to really be cut up, and he really never had a large cut or lots of bleeding.
Speaking of which, I don�t know if it was because of his junkie gimmick or if he actually was on drugs, but Manny�s facial expressions never changed, whether he was being hit over the head with lighttubes or falling off the apron onto sharp objects. He never looked like he was in pain. I�ve been hit with lighttubes, and I can tell you that they fucking hurt! So for Manny to keep the same facial expression even after eight lighttubes are busted over his head is ludicrous! I don�t care if it is his gimmick, that shit hurts, sell it man!
Nice spots, with the best in the match going to the Phantasm off the stage through the table and lighttube log cabin, as well as copious amounts of violence and glass give this a decent violence rating.
Violence Rating: 7
Overall: Not a bad deathmatch, but not the best I�ve seen either. They were going for more of a smashy-smashy deathmatch then a wrestling deathmatch with careful weapon useage, but that�s due to the insane number of weapons the crowd brought. I think that the number of tubes brought only rivals the number brought for IWA-MS�s King of the Deathmatches 2003. You try to use everyone�s weapon, but there�s only so many times you can be smashed over the back with glass. They did the best they could, but I�ve seen better deathmatches. I don�t know what they�re going to do this year, especially since there�s only so many people on the roster who are willing to do these matches (Manny, Phantom, Ninjas, maybe Xtreme Revolution), so IWS may need to bring in people for this, like they did in 2002 when they brought in Lobo from CZW. Since the CZW bridge has been burnt, I suggest the IWA-MS one, with Corporal Robinson, Necro Butcher, J.C. Bailey, and Mad Man Pondo to battle the IWS crew. At least with 6 or 8 guys, you can use all the weapons the fans bring.
Average Rating: 3.6
Match Rating: 6
Overall rating: 4.8
Final Thoughts:
Jay: Of the three IWS shows myself and the crew have reviewed, this is definitely the best card top-to-bottom. There�s a little something for everyone: a technical clinic in XES/Steen, a very good spotfest in the 4way tag, an intense, hardcore title match, and a giant smashfest for the bloodmarks. There are a couple of clunkers, but they don�t detract from the show at all. Add in the usual excellent IWS production values (top-notch DVD video quality and instant replays aplenty) and the entertaining JCW-esque commentary, you�ve got the best introduction possible to the Internet Wrestling Syndicate. The best way I�ve always explained the IWS product to people is this- it�s Jerry Bruckheimer wrestling. If you want to turn your brain off and have a good time watching insane stunts and some T & A, then it�s for you.
Jay�s recommendation: Definite Thumbs Up
J.C.: A much, much better show than Know Your Enemies. Solid from top to bottom, with only the Westmount tag being a sore spot on the show. Wrestling fans should check out the Steen/XES match, with the Eddy/Onyx match being good to watch as well. Spotty fans should watch the scramble, and deathmatch fans should check out the FBTW match, as well as Arsenal/Generico for the final bump alone. Puro fans should stay away.
The biggest problem I have is with the scene in general. These guys are only going to get so good wrestling each other so many times. Eventually, they�ll need to branch out and wrestle outside talent if they wish to get better, whether that means bringing talent in or going to the U.S. or other areas for talent. They�ve tried before, cooperating with CZW, but that relationship ended with CZW�s shitty treatment of IWS at TOD1. Onyx has gone overseas to NWA Hammerlock to wrestle there, Green Phantom recently attended an OVW camp, and EWR (not the game, another Quebec fed) is bringing in Christopher Daniels to wrestle Kevin Steen. Going against the best in the indys will show where the Quebec crew stand talent-wise, and I�d put money that Steen, XES, and Beef (in a comedy sense, him and Colt Cabana could kill as a tag team) could do well in the U.S. I�m not sure of the rest, maybe Phantom and Arsenal, but the rest need more experience before they can start to branch out.
But overall, UnF�NS is a good show to purchase, although the DVD is barebones and a little dark to watch at times. If you can get it for around $20 or so, if not under, pick it up. You won�t be disappointed.
J.C.�s recommendation: Thumbs Up
Tom: I honestly don't see any of the stuff that J.C. or Jay see in this. It all comes off to me like if all of Jon Dahmer's crappy students (minus Shun the Kabuki Kid...he's not half-bad) came together and formed their own seperate promotion. The overkill was at a maximum here, and it just wasn't my thing whatsoever. That being said, I'd really like to see what a year-long tour of working US indies would do for Beef, Steen, XES69, Generico, Eddy, and at least a couple of those guys in the four-way tag match. Just working limited indy shows in the same small area will only make these guys so good; they need to expand and learn from new people and experiences. I think that, if that ever happens, I'll be singing a much different tune about IWS.
Tom's recommendation: Thumbs Directing in a Downward Direction
The Internet Wrestling Syndicate returns to the Medley on March 27th for Know Your Enemies 2004, headlined by Pierre Carl Oullet vs. Kevin Steen for the IWS Heavyweight title. For more information and tons of video clips visit Syndicatewrestling.com To buy IWS videos, DVDs and t-shirts (Jay is the proud owner of a Beef Wellington XL) visit http://xrv.com/iws or Emax Wrestling Tapes.
Since Jay is always the one who takes the heat for the IWS reviews, you can direct all hate and vitriol to his email here.
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