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TNA
Raw from JHawk's Beak
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on Jun 10, 2002, 22:30
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Raw from JHawk's Beak (6/10/2002)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
Tonight, why did Shawn Michaels join the New World Order? What will Steve Austin make his new personal assistant, Ric Flair, do first? And maybe we'll have a match or two to fill out a couple of more King of the Ring tournament slots! So join us, won't you?
This Week in Wrestling History: It was June 10, 1995 in Madison Square Garden, when Shawn Michaels battled Sycho Sid in a steel cage match (credit: The WWF Page-A-Day calendar). I don't have a positive ID on who won, but since WWF heels have very rarely won a steel cage match post-1983, I'd say it's pretty safe to assume it was HBK getting the duke. You can probably get the result over at www.wrestleview.com and clicking on "WWF Archive Results", as they have an incomplete but very extensive collection of WWWF, WWF, and WWE results dating back to August 1962. Not bad for a company formed in 1963, huh?
"Programming" note: My tickets for this year's King of the Ring came in the mail over the weekend, so sometime on June 24, you'll be getting my first-ever on-site recap. Will Triple H vs. The Undertaker suck as much live as it will on TV? I'll be sure to tell you. And for all the HHHaters out there, the guy I'm going with is actually looking forward to that main event, and he's about as close to a smart mark as you're going to find outside of our forums or a few other message boards. And then not too long after Raw concludes on June 24 (unless someone can hook me up with tickets to the Gund Arena...hint hint wink wink nudge nudge say no more), the usual Raw recap will be here as scheduled. Busy busy busy.
Segment 1
We are L-I-V-E live from the Philips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia! Welcome to Raw!
And here comes The Man (WHOO!), most likely to act like the rattlesnake's bitch since he became Austin's personal assistant after last week's loss. Flair takes the loss like a man, but he doesn't like it. And he doesn't like the idea of being Austin's personal assistant either. However, Austin is not here...but what the bloody hell is Mr. McMahon doing here? Last I checked, he was the SmackDown owner and was too busy hitting on my future wife to give a shit about Raw. McMahon knows he's not supposed to be there, but he created the show almost 10 years ago. So Austin no-showed and walked out not only on Flair, but on the fans as well, and Flair is sorry alright...the sorriest owner Vince has ever seen. Flair's driven the show Vince created and taken it into the toilet. And yet it's still better than SmackDown most weeks. Hmm. Vince thinks Flair sucks as owner...didn't we do this six months ago? So Flair's sorry he's not living up to Vince's expectations, but what does Vince want to do about it? Vince has a proposal. He doesn't have to work for a living, because he's a billionaire and no longer does anything for the money, but his own ego. Wow, it only took 20 years to admit it. And Vince's ego can't take Flair owning half his company, so Vince will put his life on the line. So much for the split. Vince proposes to wrestle Flair right here TONIGHT on Raw in a no holds barred match for 100% ownership in World Wrestling Entertainment. Shouldn't this have been WrestleMania? Flair accepts, and barring a draw, that will kill off the "brand extension". No good can come of this.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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OK, this smells of desperation. Who had three months before the split ended in the smartmarks.com pool? I know this isn't ending clean, because this is something that needs a ton of buildup and we're getting about an hour 50 minutes or so to build it up. This also has nothing to do with current storylines. No good can come of this, but at least the setup was short and sweet. Eleven minutes for the opening segment? Now make it 11 minutes of wrestling and we're back on track.
Segment 2
At 6:03 p.m., X-Pac tries to go into the nWo locker room as Kevin Nash reads the paper, but it's locked because Shawn Michaels is in there. Apparently there's a six man, and Big Show ate too much Mexican so he's going into the bathroom with parts of Nash's newspaper. Booker T comes in, and he wants to talk to Shawn and collaborate with Shawn on theme lyrics. Actually a cute segment once Booker came in.
Six Man Tag Team Match: Spike Dudley, Shawn Stasiak, and Tommy Dreamer vs. the nWold
No idea the logic behind team number one (aside from neither one winning a match in the last six weeks), and Booker T gets a separate entrance from The Big Show and X-Pac. Chris Harvard (now using his real last name) is in the crowd. Spike and X-Pac start, and X-Pac quickly catches Spike in a power bomb for 2. There's the bronco buster. Tonight in King of the Ring qualifiers, RVD vs. Eddy Guerrero and Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Brock Lesnar. Big Show and Stasiak are in now, and Show is using the power moves, including a delayed vertical suplex that would look impressive if Show was 300 pounds lighter. Backstage, Nash sees the camera and shuts the locker room door. Dreamer and Booker in, and Dreamer has the vomit bucket, but throws confetti onto Booker instead. Oh, funny, uh huh. Now all hell breaks loose. Show press slams Spike over the top rope and onto Stasiak as Booker takes down Dreamer for the pin at 2:49. Cut the music, and Booker ain't leaving with the Spinaroonie. Even JR acknowledges the pop for it.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Well, once again, Booker T is comic gold in the backstage skits, but why this match was signed I'll never know. And not from a storyline sense, but from a "How the hell did they come up with this combination" sense? Isn't Stasiak still supposed to be a heel? Since when does Dreamer team with anybody without having personal problems with them? Did the writers simply pull names out of a hat? I think so. Anyway, it's nice to see that even with HBK now in the nWo, they're still building up to Booker's eventual turn, but even Show and X-Pac were clapping for the spinaroonie, so who knows?
Segment 3
We are live from Atlanta, and total ownership of World Wrestling Entertainment is on the line tonight. Your hosts are Good Ol' JR and The Pharaoh, and even though you'll only see two rounds of the tourney on pay-per-view, you'll still see RVD vs. Eddy and Brock vs. Bubba in qualifiers later tonight.
Backstage, Booker is celebrating, but Eddie Griffindust comes in to talk Booker into quitting the nWo, since if HBK is still HBK then Booker's days are numbered because HBK doesn't like "our kind".
Terri is with Pure and Wholesome Molly Holly, and Molly can't take Terri seriously as a journalist when you can see her nipples in her latest Divas poster. In comes Trish Stratus, who thinks Molly's jealous because she has an "ass like an amphitheatre". Molly thinks the champion should be pure, wholesome, and virtuous, so she wants her title shot tonight. Trish agrees to a match, and if Molly wins she'll get her title shot, but if she loses, she must wrestle in a thong.
Eddy and Chris Benoit come in and chastise Flair for putting his half of the company on the line. Flair's been trying to make this deal for weeks anyway, and Eddie's upset at Flair's use of "if" he wins. Benoit hopes Flair will be OK.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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OK, that doesn't sound good. Benoit hopes Flair will be OK? Flair lost last week to force a stipulation that not only makes no sense, but isn't even being enforced, and now they're building to this as if Flair's a lock to lose to Vince McMahon? Why not just put a sign around Ric Flair's neck that says "Will job for food" while you're at it?
I never thought I'd say this, but even though I want Molly to get a solid run as Women's Champion, I kind of hope she has to wear that thong. But why isn't the title on the line tonight when it was pretty clear she was asking for a title shot?
Segment 4
One fall for the WWE European Championship: Bradshaw (Hardcore Champion) vs. William Regal (champion)
Bradshaw, looking like a gay hoss with his cowboy hat, is not defending the Hardcore Title in this match, and I would think a non-title match is impossible under 24/7 rules. Jack Doan searches for brass knuckles and finds nothing. Simple storyline here. Bradshaw tries to outpower Regal, while Regal tries to outwrestle Bradshaw. Bradshaw gets off of a shoulderblock and an elbowdrop, but Regal comes back and goes for the multiple cover spot after a running kneesmash. Regal gets Bradshaw into the corner and pounds away at Bradshaw with forearms. Bradshaw tries for a comeback, but a boot to the face by Regal leads to the Union Jack neckbreaker for 2. Regal busts out a high cross body (!), but Bradshaw catches him and takes him down with a fallaway slam. Bradshaw DDTs Regal for a long 2 count. Tough Enough's Chris (Harvard) Nowinski tries to run in and take advantage of the 24/7 rule, but security stops him. It does distract Bradshaw long enough for Regal to grab the brass knuckles and get the pin at 3:41. The replay shows that Nowinski tossed the brass knuckles into Regal for the pin. Excellent camerawork, guys, as I completely missed it live.
Trish vs. Molly is next.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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The most interesting part of this segment was the ad for the Bobby Heenan interview on this coming Saturday's Confidential. This crowd did not care about Bradshaw or Regal, and I'm not entirely sure they realized who Nowinski was. I'd like to say the commentary made the match decent, but Lawler was too busy suggesting that if Vince wins tonight then JR should kiss his ass again.
Segment 5
Don't get me started about the new "Get the F out" ad.
Non-title match scheduled for one fall: Trish Stratus (Women's Champion) vs. Pure and Wholesome Molly Holly
I guess a match stemming from Molly Holly's ghetto booty is better than one stemming from a shampoo commercial. And for the record, I happen to like Molly's ghetto booty. Molly gains the quick advantage by clotheslining Trish over the top rope. JR refuses to make fun of Molly's ass because it's "pot calling the kettle black". Molly dominates early and hits a nice handspring elbow for 2. Lawler continues the ass jokes, but at least he forgot about puppies for 2 minutes. Trish gains an advantage with a neckbreaker. Trish goes for the Stratusfaction, but Molly counters it with a back suplex. Molly up top, and she hits the Molly Go Round (JR: "Using the backside!") to earn a title shot in 2:29. Molly grabs the panties that Trish tossed on her last week and chokes Trish down with her. Charles Robinson pulls Molly off, and Molly has issues with that. I still say that should be a title change.
Vince is backstage, and he bumps into Arn Anderson, who wonders what Vince is thinking? Sure, Flair's not the businessman Vince in, but he's risking SmackDown in a wrestling match? Vince calls it a calculated risk and slaps Arn, who tells Vince to prepare for his early retirement.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Well, the women's match was decent, but again, no reaction from the crowd whatsoever. In fact, there's been no crowd reaction since Booker used the spinaroonie. Put that title on Molly now! My guess is the title match is coming at King of the Ring. We also got more build for the main event, and they're focusing too much on "There's no way Vince can win" for him not to win. Just to piss me off, I think.
Segment 6
People are watching Raw live from the former WWF New York, and you can watch King of the Ring there as well!
King of the Ring Qualifying Match scheduled for one fall: Rob...Van...Dam (Intercontinental Champion) vs. Eddy Guerrero
This would probably be better served as a semifinal match (or at the very least, one of next week's quarterfinals), but let's give it away way too soon. Eddie insults a fan on his way to the ring, and this is our lone shot at a good match tonight. Huge RVD chant at the bell to show the crowd is actually alive. Referee Chad Patten has to separate the two to start, and they actually work into a wrestling sequence. Eddy puts RVD into a leg scissors briefly. Another RVD chant, and the front office hits their collective mute buttons. Eddy into an STF, and RVD quickly into the ropes. Another wrestling sequence ends in RVD hitting a spinning back kick. Eddy quickly begins to pound away at RVD with forearms as an ECW chant breaks out. There goes the feed, and we return with both men on the floor. RVD reverses a whip into the apron, and that will set up a Five Star Frog Splash off the apron to the floor. Another RVD chant (that's three). Back in, and RVD uses a floatover suplex to get a near fall. Eddy regaining the advantage, and he's using a lot more brawling than he normally does. An Eddy sucks chant breaks out. Irish whip into an elbowsmash, and Eddy covers for 2. Into a cross armbreaker, which JR erroneously calls a "Fujiwara armbar". RVD tries to roll Eddy onto his shoulders, but Eddy stops it with a hair pull. RVD maneuvers his way to the ropes for the break. Backdrop suplex by Eddy gets a count of 2. The crowd is dying again. RVD finally takes Eddy down with a powerslam and heads up top, but Eddy crotches him. Eddy with the Dynamite Kid-plex off the top, and Patten starts the double count. Both men up, and Eddy tries for a crucifix, but RVD counters with a rolling front slam into a springboard moonsault for 2. RVD fakes a crossbody and goes for a split-legged moonsault, but Eddy rolls away. Eddy with a dropkick for 2. Eddy goes for a huracanrana, but RVD rolls through into a sunset flip for 3 at 9:40. Botched finish, and it appears Eddy's trying to counter and doesn't do it. Replay doesn't show the right shoulder well, but I don't think it went down until the count was already at one.
Backstage, The Undertaker is headed to the ring.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Botched finish (and dead crowd) aside, that was pretty solid. Nowhere near on par with their earlier meetings, but solid. If anything, it was impossible for the crowd to get fully into it since it started off slow and never picked up enough to wake the crowd up. RVD was crazy over though and needs to reach the next level while the iron's hot.
Segment 7
Coach knocks on the nWo's door, and he wants some words with HBK, but Nash won't let him into the locker room.
Out comes The Undertaker, and my guess is he's calling Jeff Hardy out from the cheap shot last week. Taker forces a security guy to show the crowd the Undisputed Title belt. Taker is tired of repeating himself by saying he's the undisputed champion and deserves respect, but some people just don't get it. Undertaker gets a cheap pop by mentioning Atlanta, but adds they're not very smart but still know that the champion needs to be treated with respect. Taker asks JR how Triple H wasn't smart enough to know Taker was lurking backstage on SmackDown Thursday. Here are some helpful clips. Apparently Triple H thinks he can win the title (and I'd bet Stephanie thinks so too), but Taker says all that Triple H has a chance of getting is his ass kicked. And now we move to Jeff Hardy, who dropkicked The Undertaker into a pile of split pea...er, um, human vomit. Here's a clip in case you're actually hoping to keep food down tonight. Taker asks if Jeff is ready to die in the same moment he likes to live for. We can do it the easy way or the hard way. And Taker will inflict more pain than previously thought humanly possible if he chooses the hard way. Cue the music, but here comes Matt Hardy (without Nancy Drew but with her ladder). Jeff Hardy comes in through the crowd and comes off the top rope, but he gets caught with a choke slam. Matt comes in and actually gets Taker down, but Taker blocks the Twist of Fate. Matt with a few more shots, but then it's all Taker. Taker goes for the Last Ride, but Jeff clips the knee. Matt pummels Taker with elbowdrops as Jeff brings in the ladder. There's the double battering ram with the ladder. Jeff sets up the ladder and Matt punches Taker...and Jeff with a springboard legdrop over the ladder. Cue the music and the Hardys' retreat. The champion looks pissed.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Hell, Taker's even selling for The Hardy Boyz now. If the point is to get some of the midcarders over, they may or may not be succeeding (they need to be given some sort of push after the Taker beatdown if you want that to work). If the goal is to make The Undertaker look like a vulnerable champion, mission accomplished, because I'm trying to figure out how Taker's even supposed to beat somebody at the level of Bradshaw, much less someone at the perceived level of Triple H.
Segment 8
Terri catches up with Regal and Chris from TE1, and apparently the entire point is Chris is the first WWE superstar to be a Harvard graduation. Jeff Hardy interrupts the interview and hits the getaway car.
King of the Ring Qualifying Match scheduled for one fall: Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Brock Lesnar (w/Your God and Mine Paul E. Heyman)
Brock attacks Bubba before the bell. Brock is dominant early, but Bubba reverses a whip, hits an avalanche, and takes Brock down with a reverse neckbreaker. Bubba goes for the table already, but Paul E. comes from behind for the distraction and gets bleeped when Bubba sees him. Brock regains the advantage and hits the overhead belly-to-belly on the floor. Back in the ring, and it's Brock with the waistlock, which is eventually turned into a suplex by Brock. Brock goes for Regal's multiple cover spot, then sends Bubba into the corner, but he side steps the shoulderblock and suplexes Brock over. Bubba with jabs, and there's the flapjack. Flip flop and fly, and a belly-to-back suplex for 2. Bubba connects with the senton bomb for only the second time ever, but Heyman distracts Bubba to break the pin. Bubba regains his focus and spears Brock, but Heyman in the ring. Heyman misses the slap and is grabbed by Bubba, and that's all Brock needs to hit the Unnamed Finisher to reach the quarterfinals in 4:50. Nowhere near as good as their first meeting.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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I know a heel manager is supposed to interfere, but three times in a sub-five minute match is too much, even for Paul Heyman in his WCW days. I've seen ECW matches with less interference, as hard as that is to believe. Match was OK, but nothing we haven't already seen, and if you're going to make Brock look that weak you might as well have him get pinned already, as booking him like this is screwing him over even with the winning streak.
Segment 9
We're just moments away from the no holds barred match for 100% control of the company, which means it's getting two segments, and that equals two segments too many. How did Vince get into the building if he's the owner of SmackDown? The match is NEXT!
Backstage, Vince is approached by Paul Heyman, who tells Vince he needs to think about Brock Lesnar after he defeats Flair tonight. He hands Vince a card and says he has an idea for King of the Ring.
Back at the nWo locker room, and hold the phone on the main event, because Shawn's ready to hit the ring.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Well, I have to admit that I'm very curious as to what Heyman's King of the Ring idea is (maybe it's actually having the entire tournament on pay-per-view, that would be new). I do not want to see Flair get screwed in order to figure out what that idea is though. Although did anybody catch on that this is the second one-on-one match with Flair vs. McMahon, and both were in Atlanta? Hmm...
I had actually forgotten they wanted Shawn to talk tonight. That tells you exactly how much I care why he joined the nWo.
Segment 10
A clip of The Rock's interview on Confidential gets the second biggest pop of the night. Behind only RVD. Somebody backstage take notes.
And here comes the Holy Bible Kid, as he's been dubbed in our forums, and I'd give credit to the proper people if I could remember who they were. They know who they are. Hi guys! Anyway, Shawn's got the stick (I've heard that about him), and we've had it all in the WWF/E, from garbage men to clowns, but what was real was the Showstopper, Shawn Michaels. Shawn gave everybody everything he had, including his back, and after WrestleMania XIV, they wanted attitude. "I was attitude before it was a catchphrase." Namedropping Austin actually draws some boos, and Shawn claims Austin stole Shawn's spotlight, but he doesn't blame Austin. He quotes Vince by saying the fans dictate the direction of the company, so the fans went to Austin and dumped Shawn like a nickel and dime prostitute. Shawn's not there to wrestle, and he will "never make that mistake" again. He said HBK is dead, and he is, "because each and every one of you killed him". But the one man who stood by him through everything (when he wasn't booking Goldberg's demise and thus the death of WCW) was Big Daddy Lazy, who is on his way to the ring with the rest of the nWo. Shawn is proud of Nash, as he started as Shawn's bodyguard and became one of the biggest names in the entire industry. But Shawn watched from home and said something was missing, so he asked what stands out. Well, Big Show's huge, so he stands out slightly (and his stomach stands out quite a bit). Maybe it was a lack of focus, and he points at X-Punk, who has no short-term memory but has more talent than anybody. So that brings us to SUPERKICKING Booker T and blaming him for stealing the spotlight from the nWo, much like Austin stole the spotlight from Michaels four years ago. And thus ends the face turn in anticlimactic fashion. You'd think they would have at least given Booker a chance to complain about the accusation before he got jumped.
The main event is NEXT!
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Well, it came out of nowhere, but at least they went with the turn. This definitely makes a Booker T-Waltman match a lock for some point in the King of the Ring tournament, and although I normally hate seeing the blow-off for free, I'm begging for them to make that the quarterfinal match on Raw next week, because I do not want 123-Pac stinking up my television at $34.95. Or in my case, making me go blind from 50 feet away at $75 plus service charges and facility fees.
Segment 11
One fall for 100% ownership of World Wrestling Entertainment: Mr. McMahon vs. The Man (WHOO!)
Well, on the bright side, it appeared they were going to give it two segments, but as McMahon enters the ring it's 10:58 Eastern, so barring running very long tonight this should be quick. Flair immediately charges on the floor and gets a lot of chops in before they finally ring the bell. Lillian forgot the no holds barred stip, so the brawl on the floor goes into the crowd, and all Earl Hebner can do is go, "Hey. Stop it, you two!" There's a bodyslam in the crowd, and now back over the guardrail. This is Royal Rumble Lite so far. Finally back in the ring, and Flair's getting too much offense for comfort early on here. McMahon grabs the ring bell and brings it into the ring, then levels Flair in the face with it. He swings at Earl, who ducks, and Flair has bladed after the shot with the bell. McMahon wisely targets the cut. Flair tries to fight back, but Vince chokes Flair with the camera cables. Face-first into the ringpost! Flair says "Come on you son of a bitch", and Vince obliges with a kick to the face. Back into the ring they go, and Vince still targets the cut. Overhand right, and a cover for a count of 2. Flair finally gets some chops in and starts punching away. The advantage doesn't last long though. Down goes Flair to a right hand, and the cover for 2. And Vince going into the Ric Flair playbook with a kick to the groin, and that's good for a count of two. Flair with a chair and he charges, but Flair gets the feet up. Flair with a chair shot now! And now Flair starts to target the knees. Chop (WHOO), chop (WHOO), and down goes Vince. Flair continues to target the knee, and here comes Arn...don't tell me. Flair with the low blow. Another one! Flair with the strut. And now the figure-four onto the wrong leg, and Arn taunts Vince...and in comes Brock Lesnar. Arn leaves the ring, and Brock elbowdrops Flair. Shit. And Arn heads to the back as Vince goes for the pin...TWO IN A ROW? YOU STUPID FUCKING WRITERS! Vince gets the pin in 8:57, and even JR's pissed at this one! THE ANSWER HAS NEVER BEEN MORE FUCKING MCMAHONS ON TV, HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO FUCKING TELL YOU THAT?
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END OF SHOW
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Great, right back where we were before the Survivor Series. Well, at least they didn't turn Arn, which was my first thought when he hit ringside, and I'm not getting the point of putting Brock in there when you just made it perfectly clear he can't beat Bubba Ray Dudley without Paul E. getting involved, so why make him Vinnie Mac's muscle? It wasn't that great a show to begin with, and then you go and piss me off for the second week in a row by having Flair job when a Flair win would make for better television.
This whole thing makes no sense. First off, you've made Flair the heel ever since Austin signed with Raw, and all of a sudden he's the good guy in this match with Vince? Then, you have him do the job in Atlanta, which is only WWE territory because WCW doesn't exist anymore. Brock just looked really weak about 45 minutes ago, and NOW he's Vince's muscle? What's in it for the fans? Nothing. The only two advantages to the split were the appearance of the developmental wrestlers and less McMahons on television. Now, who knows if there's still a split or not, and McMahon is going to get more airtime. The McMahon family on TV does NOT equal ratings, and if I wasn't recapping this damn show I would stop watching just to prove it to you, you jackasses!
Until next week, remember the WWE motto. "We listen to our fans, but they don't stroke Vince's ego so we ignore them."
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