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Raw from JHawk's Beak (5/24/2004)
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on May 24, 2004, 22:10
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Raw from JHawk's Beak (5/24/2004)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
Allow me to start off by first saying I have mixed feelings about recapping SmackDown in the month of June. On the one hand, the show has sucked hard ever since WWE decided, "It's taped anyway, so who cares if it's any good or not?" On the other hand, bitter JHawk is a far more entertaining read. Luckily for me, I still have Raw through next week's show, so there's a chance I'll be happy another seven days or so.
Now onto business.
E-Mail of the Week: Jake Schrickling compares Raw and SmackDown to Raw and a dear TV show that has departed us.
J-hawk,
Is it just me, or does the current RAW vs. Smackdown remind you of old Raw is War vs. Monday Nitro? Let's see... Smackdown is gimmicky storyline based backed up by weak ass wrestling with midcarders pushed as legitimate main eventers, putting cruiser weight titles on women (a.k.a Madusa - Jacqueline), What, is Vince Russo writing Smackdown now? While Raw is good storyline development, great main-eventers, backed up by great wrestling matches, intriguing storyline development and legit character develpment with a little comedy added for fun (Eugene- Rock). To me, it's sad that Smackdown is such an inferior show, what with talents like RVD, Rey Mysterio, Chavo 1 & 2, Paul London, and MY GOD Eddie Guerrero.
Two things about that, Jake. One, if you look closely at Raw when they were truly hot in 1998-1999, there wasn't the great wrestling we're seeing on Monday nights these days. Two, you make it sound like Paul London actually makes it past the middle of the Velocity tapings. Tsk tsk.
Forums Quote of the Week: I'll probably get some heat for using this quote, but bear in mind that these are actual quotes from posters on our Forums and do not necessarily represent the views of anybody on the TSM staff. This week's quote comes from The Amazing Rando, as he discussed Scott Keith's announcement that he would no longer recap SmackDown until it stops sucking.
MYTH: The WWE truly cares what Scott Kieth thinks.
TRUTH: Scott Kieth thinks that this move will really make everyone in the offices care enough to completely change their show around and make the dozen fans he has consider himself edgy and cool by saying he's better than a tv show. Watch Vince McMahon cry. Watch Dammit!
SECOND TRUTH: Scott Kieth has about as much pull in the world of sports entertainment as a scottish terrier has tied to an 18 wheeler.
All I really have to say about that is, "WWE doesn't care what I think either, and considering some of the things I've said about these shows the last two years, I don't think I'm being invited to the company picnic anytime soon."
Tonight: If I read the wwe.com preview right, we've got Ric Flair vs. Edge, as well as Jonathan Coachman and Garrison Cade vs. Eugene and William Regal. Well, that might finish off the great wrestling streak we've been getting. And we'll build the Triple H-Shawn Michaels and Kane-Lita storylines (and we might throw Chris Benoit a bone and put him in a segment).
Segment 1
Last week, Shawn Michaels illegally eliminated Triple H from the battle royal, making Kane the number one contender.
Hungry Hungry Hippos tapes his fists up and bitches about the result of the battle royal. He tells Eric Bischoff to reinstate Shawn Michaels, and it's been done, so HBK will be here tonight. But HBK would only return if he got the match with Triple H, so it will happen at Bad Blood. Hunter says he won't make it to Bad Blood because he'll finish him off tonight. Then he turns to the rest of Evolution and asks where the hell they were last week. Hunter had better see some unity beginning with Flair's match tonight. Orton tells Hunter to kick HBK's ass should they not be there when he shows up...and Hunter tells Batista to stay with him.
Live from the Metrocentre in Rockford, Illinois.
One fall: Edge (World Tag Team Champion) vs. The Man WHOO! (w/WWE Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton)
Two weeks ago, Ric Flair's distraction allegedly led to Orton retaining the Intercontinental Title against Edge. Flair struts before the lockup. Edge quickly tosses Flair to the mat. Edge into the hammerlock, and Flair makes it to the ropes. Chop by Flair. A series of punches by Edge. Corner whip, backdrop, and a clothesline that sends Flair over the top rope. Edge follows Flair to the outside and slams him on the floor. Both men back in, and Flair begs off into the corner. Edge with the corner punches, then a clothesline after blocking Flair's inverted atomic drop. Orton grabs the ankle, and Flair goes to the eyes. Hard chop. Turnbuckle smash. Punches and chops by Flair. Kick to the midsection. Snap mare. Kneedrop. Stomp to the face. Chop. Edge beginning to trade blows with Flair, and Edge getting the advantage with a flying forearm. Corner whip, backdrop. Corner whip with a failed Flaip Flip. Flair with a thumb to the eye, and he climbs up top and meets a punch. Cover, and...um...Flair never got the shoulder up, but Mike Chioda stopped the count anyway. Orton clothesline Edge on the top rope, leading to a Flair roll up for 2. All About Shelton Benjamin comes out to neutralize Orton, and Edge spears Flair for the pin at 5:16. 3/4*
Batista sets a chair up outside the arena for Triple H.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
I tried to enjoy this one, I really did, but this is simply a shell of the former greatness of Ric Flair. Absolutely no psychology to speak of, and then Flair of all people fails to remember to kick out on time. Of course, blame Chioda for that as well, as he had to have been taught to finish the three count regardless. And with this show being live, there's no way to edit that one.
Segment 2
Live from Rockford, Illinois, sayeth Good Ol' JR and The King. And earlier today, Mr. McAsshole (surrounded by a bevy of beauties) announced the first-ever $250,000 Raw Diva Search. And the fans of Raw will choose the winner a la American Idol.
Todd Grisham stands in front of Lita's dressing room, leading to clips of Lita answering "yes" to Kane last week. But what was the question? Grisham tries to find out, but Matt Hardy v.1.0 has been worried about Lita since he's heard nothing. She still loves him -- how sweet...and they kiss. But she'd rather show him how much she loves him. She enters her locker room to grab her bags, and we conveniently have a camera in the locker room to see Kane enter from behind. She thought he said it was over, and he says "It's all over." She leaves all distraught, then out of the building with Matt's arm around her...
COMMERCIAL BREAK
...and we still have no idea what the hell's going on. We just completely threw the suspension of disbelief out the window with the camera just happening to be in the locker room, and after all that, we still don't know what the question was...and why it can be "over" a week later. Could it be that WWE couldn't think of anything either and decided to drop this a la "What is on Baby Doll's photos", but tried to do a shitty explanation anyway?
Segment 3
Still to come, Eugene and William Regal vs. Jonathan Coachman and Garrison Cade!
Triple H and Batista await Shawn Michaels, and a car backs into the parking lot. Batista and Triple H attack...Steven Richards? But isn't the Heat taping over? ::rimshot::
Tag Team Contest scheduled for one fall: La Resistance vs. The Hurricane and Rosey
And don't forget for those of you reading this on the west coast Monday night that The Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young will be on The Tonight Show. Rob Conway kicks it off with Rosey, and Rosey dumps Conway out to the floor. Back in, and Conway is sent into the corner. Tag to Hurricane, who gets a flying legdrop for 2. Sylvain Grenier pulls the middle rope down to help Hurricane fall to the floor, and Hurricane is now your face-in-peril. Grenier tags in and begins to focus on Hurricane's left leg. Tag to Conway, who continues working on the leg. Toehold. Hurricane with an enzuigiri. Tag to Grenier, hot tag to Rosey, and Rosey's working over both men. Twisting legdrop to Grenier, and in comes Conway. Rosey rolls underneath a double clothesline and clotheslines both men. Hurricane tags in and comes off the top with a flying bodypress to Grenier, and Conway makes the save. Missing the Shining Black, and Grenier shoves Hurricane into Conway's right hand, and Grenier gets a roll up and a handful of tights for the pin at 4:07. *
Triple H is waiting, and the Holy Bible Kid attacks him from out of nowhere. Officials are immediately on the scene to break things up.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Unlike the opening match, we tried to establish some sort of psychology by working on The Hurricane's leg, but as usual, it has no actual bearing on the finish. And would somebody explain to me the point of the hot tag in a short match? The face-in-peril isn't even breathing heavily yet, and we're supposed to be in tune for the big comeback. Credit the crowd for being into it though.
Where was Batista when HBK attacked Triple H?
Segment 4
Moments ago, Shawn Michaels attacked Triple H.
Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel!
Good pop for Jericho. Things have been different since Christian has been on the disabled list since the cage match two weeks ago. Jericho is hot, and tonight's guest is on fire. He's Randy Orton. It's been a crazy night for Evolution, but that doesn't take away from Orton's accomplishments. Orton apparently took Steve Austin out. And he would have taken out Harley Race has Shelton Benjamin not interfered. Has Orton changed his mind about defending the title against Benjamin? Nope. Why is he so scared of him? Orton claims he's not ducking the challenge, but Benjamin is simply not worthy. Jericho cuts him off, Orton bitches, but Jericho reminds Orton that it's his show. But didn't Shelton Benjamin beat Triple H twice? Doesn't that make him worthy? Orton says Jericho and Benjamin both have a big mouth, and Jericho goes "What's next, Randy? Are you going to call me a poopoohead?" Orton slaps Jericho, so Jericho knocks him down with an enzuigiri. There is Batista, and there's the double team, and here's Benjamin to make the save. Out comes Bischoff to put a stop to things, and he's already got his hands full and refuses to lose control of the show. He makes a tag team match featuring these four for right now.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
It almost seems counterproductive to Orton's push to have Jericho essentially punk him out on the mic, but the idea is to get Orton riled up enough that he accepts Benjamin's challenge. Don't be surprised to see Benjamin pick up the pin here.
Segment 5
One fall: Randy Orton (WWE Intercontinental Champion) and Batista vs. Y2J+4 and All About Shelton Benjamin
Orton and Jericho start, and Jericho locks in a side headlock. Orton into a headscissors, and Jericho is out of it. Waistlock takedown by Jericho and into a bow-and-arrow. Orton rolls out into a cover for 2. Shove by Orton, and a chop by Jericho in retaliation. Corner whip by Orton, and he runs into an elbow. Clothesline for 2. Tag to Benjamin. Tag to Batista. Lockup, side headlock by Benjamin, and into the ropes for the break. Lockup, side headlock, arm wringer, and Batista with a forearm to break. Benjamin with the arm wringer, bodyslam by Batista, and Benjamin avoids the elbow. Benjamin with some right hands, but Batista with a hard forearm, and now Orton tags in. European uppercuts. Stomps. Tag to Batista, who stomps away at Benjamin. Tag to Orton. Benjamin works his way into a reverse neckbreaker. Tag to Jericho, who knocks Batista off the apron and goes to work on Orton. Roll up into the attempted Walls of Jericho, but Jericho has to hit a springboard dropkick to Batista to prevent the interference. Again for the Walls of Jericho, and this time he gets it. Jericho again avoids Batista, and Orton is out to the floor. Jericho over the top on top of the opponents...
COMMERCIAL BREAK
That was actually a pretty good going home groove they'd gotten themselves into at that point, but given the slower pace at the beginning, we shouldn't be surprised they're giving this one two segments.
Segment 6
Batista stomps Jericho in the corner as we're joined by Trish the Bitch in the broadcast booth. During the break, Trish's entrance distracted Jericho, allowing Orton to send Jericho's shoulder into the ringpost. The focus is on the shoulder, as Orton drops a knee onto it and covers for 2. And Trish at the booth is sucking the energy out of this match. Batista with the keylock as Trish sounds like Ben Stein on the Wonder Years. Batista turns the hold into a hammerlock. Jericho chops out of it, and for the love of God stop making Trish talk! Orton in, Jericho fighting back, but one shot to the shoulder stops the comeback. Short arm scissors by Orton. Now this is old school, and I like it! Jericho rolls through the pressure and chops away at Jericho, but Batista stops it with a knee to the back, and a single-arm DDT stops Jericho in his tracks. Batista in...and he locks a cross armbreaker in on the wrong arm. *sigh* Jericho gets to his feet and gets a standing dropkick. Tag to Orton, who gets taken down by Jericho. Tag to Batista, and there's the hot tag. Benjamin goes to work on Batista and takes him down with a flying shoulderblock. Spinning heel kick for 2. Batista catches Benjamin's high cross body, but Jericho's dropkick lets Benjamin get a sunset flip for 2. Batista with a spinebuster to Benjamin, and Jericho makes the save. Orton tags in and sends Jericho out of the ring. Orton runs into Batista and gets caught in a rolling cradle for 2. Orton tries to RKO Jericho, but he shoves Orton into a Benjamin powerslam, and Benjamin gets the pin at 16:25. ***1/4 Postmatch, Trish tries to get Jericho's attention and finally does, and that brings Tyson Tomko to attack from behind. Tomko sends the broadcast team running and sets the table up for some nasty stuff...and there's the power bomb through the table. Wow, he has a second move! And that's the first one he's done that looked good! Trish taunts a helpless Jericho.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Some excellent arm work by the two members of Evolution on this one, but then Batista started working on the wrong arm. And then the arm work means nothing since Jericho's arm didn't get involved in the finish. But Benjamin getting the pin is the right direction to go, as now Orton can't claim that Benjamin isn't worthy of the shot. Good stuff overall. But could somebody explain to me why we're still working on the Jericho-Trish feud at this point? And people think Dutch Mantel has problem letting a feud die! We had a cage match two weeks ago. If the cage wasn't the blowoff, what's the point? How is Jericho still a problem for Trish when Jericho hasn't so much as mentioned Trish in two weeks?
Segment 7
Moments ago, Chris Jericho got power bombed through a table. During the break, Jericho was taken out on a stretcher.
And here comes Kane to the ring. He apparently envies Chris Benoit for being World Heavyweight Champion, for living a life of normalcy, and for living out his dreams. Kane lives in nightmares. "My world is shattered and burned. I live in darkness and shadows." But that will change at Bad Blood on June 13, because Kane wants the title. And he always gets what he wants. Including Lita's body? He doesn't say.
Bischoff tells Michaels he has the match he asked for...and Triple H attacks. It's pandemonium, I tell ya! Officials once again tear the two men apart.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Let's give them credit for getting across exactly how much Triple H and Shawn Michaels hate each other at this stage of their careers, as they're not even letting the fact they're in the GM's office stop them tonight. Good stuff there. Unfortunately, they're already completely half-assing the World Title Match at Bad Blood, as while that was a decent promo by Kane, they've focused more on Kane and Lita than on the title, thus making the title the third most important thing on the show. Isn't the title supposed to be treated as more important than anything else?
Segment 8
Moments ago, Triple H attacked Shawn Michaels in Eric Bischoff's office.
And we still have that tag team "main event" coming your way tonight.
One fall: Victoria (WWE Women's Champion) vs. Good Golly Miss Molly Holly (w/Gail Kim)
It's the end of an era, as Victoria has new music so she can dance. And while I like the dancing, I already miss the theme song. If I wanted to listen to techno, I'd hit a club. It fits the change from crazy Victoria to fun-loving Victoria though. Non-title, by the way. It takes Kim all of 30 seconds to interfere and help Molly gain the advantage. Molly drops Victoria onto the guardrail, then brings the action back into the ring. A series of elbowdrops for 2. Mouth gouge. And another. Victoria with a roll up for 2, but Molly quickly back in control. Hangman's chinlock. Victoria tries to elbow out but is taken down with one kick. Nonchalant cover for 2, countered with a cruicifix by the champion for 2, then Victoria with a backslide for 2. Backdrop by Victoria. Bodyslam. Kim onto the apron to prevent the standing moonsault, and Molly attacks, but not for long, as Victoria hits the Widow's Peak for the pin at 4:20. 1/2* In comes Kim from behind, but she misses a charge into the corner. Victoria takes her down with the Widow's Peak. Now cue the crappy music!
And cue the SmackDown Rebound, focusing as always on the main event.
Bischoff tells Johnny Monday Nitro that he doesn't care if HBK and Triple H fight each other, but they're not going to disrespect him, so he orders Nitro to get everybody in the company together. "If the Triple H-Shawn Michaels ship is going down tonight, I am NOT going down with it!"
COMMERCIAL BREAK
It's not that the match was bad, but it was so anticlimactic that it didn't really mean anything. Victoria has gained an edge in the war with Gail and Molly, but quite honestly, it hurts the momentum Gail Kim had been building over the past few weeks. You'd think they're building toward a Kim-Victoria match at Bad Blood, but why not let Kim keep the edge leading up to it? At least let Victoria gain the slight edge (winning despite the interference) before getting beat down by both of them, as that protects both Victoria and Gail Kim leading up to the PPV.
Segment 9
Bischoff tells the troops that they can't let Triple H and Shawn Michaels tear down their show. Keep them away from each other and regain control of their show. And if they don't, we'll have some mass firings.
Last week, Jonathan Coachman humuliated Eugene, but The Rock came out to save the day.
Grisham interviews Eugene and William Regal, and Eugene seems more concerned with the set. Nitro comes in and claims that since Regal has not been reinstated, he won't wrestle tonight. Regal tells him he can't send Eugene out on his own, but Nitro's only following orders, so Eugene has three minutes to find a partner or wrestle his first-ever handicap match.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Correct me if I'm wrong, but why would Bischoff care if Eugene gets a fair shake or not when he's supposed to be preoccupied with the Triple H-Shawn Michaels situation? You mean he's been panicking for half an hour, but then he can suddenly remember he wants to screw Eugene over? Or is Nitro acting on his own thinking that's what Bischoff would want to do? Or am I thinking too logically since this is WWE we're talking about? I'm leaning toward the latter.
Segment 10
One fall: Garrison Cade and Coach vs. Eugene and Chris Benoit (World Heavyweight Champion and World Tag Team Champion)
Damn, that might be a better partner than Regal, and that's coming from the second biggest Regal mark anywhere. Coach trips Eugene before the bell, so we start with Cade and Benoit. Benoit with a snap suplex. Tag to Eugene, who locks in a headlock and takes Cade over. Hair pull by Cade into the corner. Coach holds Eugene, but he ducks a right hand from Cade that ends up hitting Coach. Criss cross, and Eugene stops him...then hits a Tomahawk chop a la Chief Jay Strongbow. Tag to Benoit, who picks apart Cade. Cade with forearms, Benoit with forearms of his own, then Cade whips Benoit into the corner and follows in with a lariat. Tag to Coach, who pounds away at Benoit. Benoit with chops. Cade with a cheap shot to no effect. All four in the ring as Eugene puts Cade in an airplane spin and sends him to the floor. Benoit with rolling Germans to Coach, then signaling for the headbutt. Cade comes in but gets dumped to the floor, and Benoit hits the Swan Dive Headbutt. The crowd chants for Eugene, and Benoit tags him in and tells him to head up top. Benoit helps balance him on the top rope, and Eugene hits the Benoit Headbutt for the pin at 4:43. * Eugene hugs Benoit, then grabs Benoit's belt and runs around the ring with them.
Triple H tries to rally Evolution to go after HBK, but HBK finds him and attacks. The entire locker room comes in to separate them, and Triple H begs to be allowed to go after him.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
This is essentially the status quo we've seen with the Eugene story, as just when it seems like the odds are officially stacked against Eugene, he finds a new friend, this time in the form of the World Heavyweight Champion. While the match was nothing special at all, it was certainly an entertaining way to kill seven minutes or so, and I'm still amazed they got this thing over so fast.
Segment 11
Apparently they've let go of Triple H, as he's made his way to the ring. And he wants it to end right here, right now. And here comes Michaels to the ring. They immediately trade blows in center ring, with HBK getting control early. In comes Flair, and he eats a superkick. In come Orton and Batista, and in come Edge and Benoit. They clear the ring, leaving HBK and Triple H alone in the ring. Out come Nitro and The Hurricane, who both get taken out. Bischoff calls in the reinforcements, and pretty much the entire locker room gets together to separate them...and HBK dives over the top rope onto half the roster just to get to Triple H. The brawl is back into the ring, and the battle royal last week didn't see this many men in the ring. Bischoff's finally had enough and tries to make an announcement, but Triple H goes after HBK again. Finally they're separated long enough for Bischoff to make it official...HBK vs. HHH at Bad Blood in a Hell in a Cell match. There's the fight again...
END OF SHOW
And the one angle that was built the entire show hits the obvious payoff, and while I think these two men were on this show way too much tonight, this did an excellent job of establishing exactly how much these two men hate each other. That kind of hatred is needed to make the Hell in a Cell match mean something, and this has the potential to be the greatest Hell in a Cell match ever.
Overall, this wasn't as good a Raw as we've seen the last few weeks. Sure, the HBK-HHH stuff was top notch and was built over the entire show, but outside of the tag team match that bridged the two hours together, you didn't get nearly the awesome in-ring action we've seen over the past few weeks. Add that to the fact that outside of a two-minute promo we didn't build to the World Title PPV match at all, and it equals a good but unspectacular show. But hey, if you're a Shawn Michaels or Triple H fan, this was your show.
Drop the feedback at the usual address.
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