TheSmartMarks.com
The product of the first twenty years of the internet.
Visit the FORUMS!

Original TSM

" The Gravel Pit " Other Other Movies / TV Other Movies / TV Other Movies / TV Other Movies / TV
    Search for in  
  Home

  Wrestling

      WWE

      TNA

      Tape Reviews

      Other

  Sports

      Basketball

      Football

      Baseball

      Hockey

      International

  Entertainment

      Movies / TV

      Music

      Gaming

      Technology

      Books / Comics

  " The Gravel Pit "

Wrestling > TNA

Raw from JHawk's Beak
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on Dec 2, 2002, 22:37

Raw from JHawk's Beak (12/2/2002)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins

Allow me to give some props. After my review of Starrcade 83 last week, I received an e-mail from Flint Benson, who was in attendance for the event, thanking me for covering the event since he never knew what he missed from the closed circuit broadcast. He also corrected me on one point, as I had said the NWA World TV Title was based out of Georgia. In reality, the Georgia version was known as the National Television Title until April 1984, when it then became the World TV Title until March of 1985. At that point, the Mid-Atlantic version became the "World" TV Title.

I was also taken to task for my review of last week's Raw, with one reader saying we should name this site "The WWE Marks" and that I should watch NWATNA if I wanted wrestling. Well, first off, thinking one show didn't suck doesn't make me a "WWE mark". Secondly, the only reason Dames is your NWATNA guy and not me is because he has better financial resources for viewing their events every week. And Dames does a hell of a job, as he's been writing what is probably the most in-depth review of their show anywhere. I do enjoy NWATNA and watch it whenever I have an extra ten bucks to spend, but until they're on free TV every week, WWE is my lone outlet for current professional wrestling. And because of that simple fact, I am probably harder on them than pretty much anybody else. Last week the focus was on the in-ring product, and whenever the focus is in the ring, the show is better by default. I called it "the best show in months". That isn't necessarily a glowing review given what we've gotten the past few months.

Over to the current issue of the WWF vs. WWE, and you all know how sick and tired I am of the whole situation, but someone with the Fund needs to read Rick Scaia's column from today. I'll get my own take in over the next week or two...in writing to the Fund...but take a look at this column and tell me The Rick doesn't still know his shit.

My condolences to the families of both "Mr. Wrestling" Tim Woods and George "Bunk" Harris, who also wrestled as "Two Ton Harris", as both men passed away over the past week. I never saw either of them wrestle, but hearing some of the glowing words that have been said by those who knew them makes me wish I had.

Pet Peeve of the Week: If you use KaZaA or some other mp3 sharing service, please, for the love of God, label the song right. I was looking for Mel Torme's version of "The Christmas Song", I download what is supposed to be Mel Torme's version of "The Christmas Song", and I get India.Arie's version of "The Christmas Song". If I wanted India.Arie's version of it, I'd have done a search for India.Arie's version of it. And since I'm on dial-up, I wasted 20 minutes of life downloading a song I didn't want when I could have been sleeping or something.

Anyway, onto Raw, and tonight, Chris Jericho vs. Booker T because Heaven forbid they get a PPV blowoff. Plus, The Dudley Boys against Three Minute Warning and a top contenders match featuring Triple H against Rob Van Dam. Sadly, there's only two possible ways that top contenders match is going to end tonight, and neither one actually has RVD going over.

Personally? I'll be nice and wait until after the match to give my opinion just in case they do the right thing tonight, but I'm not holding my breath.

So it's just about 9:00, and the HHHater Clock is ready to go. It's time for RAW!

Segment 1

The opening highlights the finish of last week's main event that single-handedly pissed off everybody who doesn't think Triple H is God. Unfortunately, as much time is spent of the postmatch attack as there is on RVD's portion of it.

Cue the pyro, as we are L-I-V-E from the Frank Erwin Center in Austin, Texas! And the main event is "Texas-sized" with that top contenders match! People are watching from the World as well!

Tag Team Contest scheduled for one fall: The Reunited Damn Dudleys Boyz vs. Three Minute Warning (w/Rico)

Last week, the Dudleys stole Christian and Chris Jericho's clothes and tossed them out into the crowd, leaving the World Tag Team Champions in their birthday suits. Notice how Rico never accompanies Jamal and Rosey on Heat?

Rico calls for a prematch charge, so the Dudleys cut them off as they reenter the ring. Three Minute Warning with the advantage quickly though, as Jamal gets a back suplex on Bubba. D-Von in, and we get a double suplex onto Rosey, but Jamal is in with a clothesline. Bubba and Rosey in, and they each go for high cross bodies. Tag on each side, and D-Von goes to work on Jamal's left arm. Tag to Bubba, and Jamal pounds away with slaps to the chest. Bubba stops the attack with an armbar, then takes Jamal down into a cross armbreaker for a near fall. Tag to D-Von as they continue to focus on Jamal's left arm. Rico on the apron, and D-Von knocks him down. Into the ropes, but Rosey trips him and Jamal lands on him with a splash to the back. Double teaming from the heels, and they work on the back. D-Von buys some time and heads to the wrong corner. Jamal rams D-Von's head into Rosey's and makes the tag. Double short-arm shoulderblock. Rosey pounds away at D-Von with left hands. Off the ropes, D-Von goes for a sunset flip, Rosey tries to sit down, D-Von rolls away. DDT by D-Von, and he tags out, but the referee doesn't see it. Jamal in, and he tags Rosey. They try the "use your partner's head for the headbutt" spot again, but D-Von turns it around. There's the tag, this time Jack Doan saw it, and here we go. Bubba with a football tackle to Rosey and a cover for 2. Flip Flop and Fly, and Jamal distracts Doan so Rico can get in a roundhouse kick. Rosey hits a belly-to-belly as Li'l Spike Dudley goes after Rico. Jamal up for a flying splash, but Spike shoves him off the turnbuckle. Wuzzup headbutt, but Rosey gets the advantage. Up top for an apparent moonsault, but D-Von crotches him on the turnbuckle. 3D set up, but Rico is in to break it up. They clear the ring of Rico and then hit the 3D to Rosey for the win at 7:56. A little long for what it was, but not real offensive. *

Hungry Hungry Hippos is here with The Man WHOO!

----------
COMMERCIAL BREAK
----------

HHHater Clock: 1 segment, 18 seconds. Yeah, OK, he's in the building. We kind of figured that out with the fact he has a match tonight.

I always appreciate the show opening with a match, but I was not impressed on the whole. We got a little bit of technical wrestling, which was a pleasant surprise, but how long is a referee going to allow six guys to do whatever they feel like in a four man tag team match before he makes some sort of disqualification count? I was expecting Sean Morley to change the decision and/or restart the match. The Dudleys were floundering as singles, and in my opinion their tag act is played out, even if the crowd still pops for it.

Segment 2

We're back, and the Dudleys are out cold. Apparently, during the break, Y2J+2 and ChrisTIAN made their way out, tossed Spike Dudley off the stage through the broadcasters table, and then the Bubba Ray and D-Von were the victims of a five on two attack from the champs and the opponents, complete with one man Con-Chair-to while in the Wall of Jericho. This was soooooooooooo much less important than Hunter's arrival, wasn't it?

Backstage, Easy E is with Chief of Staff Sean Morley, who officially wants to be called "Chief Morley". Triple H storms in without warning, and he sells his injury as being nearly career ending. Didn't I read someplace that it was actually a swollen neck? He wants to know why he even has to wrestle for the top contenders' spot. How about because you hosed RVD out of it? Bischoff says he respects HHH for wrestling hurt, but hey, you were handed the title the first time, so he's been more than fair to him. This time it's about good TV, so Hunter's wrestling. Hunter promises a train wreck. That's pretty much a guarantee with Hunter competing. Morley says things might get out of hand, so Bisch says we'll have a special referee tonight.

----------
COMMERCIAL BREAK
----------

HHHater Clock: Two segments, 2:27. Hunter is questioning why he's in a top contenders match, and so am I...because he's being rewarded for being involved in a title match that he had no business being in. Why wouldn't he be punished with a curtain jerker against Justin Credible or something?

I can understand why the attack on the Dudleys was done during the commercial break (less dead time for the live crowd), but really, isn't something like that a tad more important than anybody happening to arrive to the building at that exact time?

Segment 3

WWE Anthology Cuts: Chris Jericho discusses "Break Down the Walls" and how a song has to fit a character. I just wish they'd make up their mind whether or not he's using that one or "King of My World".

Tonight, it's Booker T vs. Chris Jericho, and let's replay Spike bouncing off the broadcast table. That is a shitty looking Con-Chair-to though.

One fall: Trish the Cheating Bitch vs. Ivory

I hate this music! Make it stop, Mommy! Victoria is watching in the back, and she's wearing Trish's hat, or a reasonable likeness.

Lockup to start. Headlock takedown by Ivory for 2. Ivory goes to work on the left arm, but Trish reverses an arm wringer. Ivory reverses it, and I don't know how that arm snap thingie is supposed to hurt anybody. Trish is able to bring Ivory down for 2, but when she goes for a single-leg, Ivory counters with an enzuigiri. Gutwrench suplex gets 2. Chinlock with a nose gouge. And a hair takedown. That looks painful! Cover for 2. Trish ducks a clothesline and gets a reverse neckbreaker. Double ten count only gets to three. Trish with some forearms. Clotheslines, and a Chick Kick for 2. Trish charges, but gets caught with an elbow. JR to Lawler: "Every time Trish gets on top of Ivory, your eyes get big." Stratusfaction gets the win at 4:11. DUD This was like the exact opposite of last week's Trish-Victoria match.

Backstage, Jacqueline yells at Victoria for going through her stuff, so Jacqueline wants a match with the "psycho bitch". And Jackie beats the crap out of her in the locker room.

----------
COMMERCIAL BREAK
----------

I don't know about this match. I tried to get into and just couldn't. There was absolutely no sense of psychology, and there weren't even some really good spots to make up for it. But two women's matches on the same show? I appreciate the effort with making the division credible guys, but I'm not sure I have the patience to deal with two WWE women's matches on the same show. Especially when the first one wasn't very good. If they're both good, fine, but I don't like two bad men's matches on the same show.

Segment 4

We're in Austin, Texas! And we thank NBC for footage of the WWE's Raw Tenth Anniversary float at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!

Your hosts are Good Ol' JR and The Pharaoh, who make fun of Al Roker for calling Lawler "The Ring".

Jericho and Christian are in the locker room, who say that anybody who gets in their way gets what the Dudleys got, and tonight, Jericho gets to prove to Booker T once and for all that he is not a sucka.

Tag team contest scheduled for one fall: Mr. Extreme and Tommy F'N Dreamer vs. William Regal and Lance Storm

Oh boy, Jeff Hardy. This is making my night so much better. Dreamer has a mild concussion after the series of kicks to the head he's taken from Regal over the last month or so.

The fight starts in the aisle, and where the hell is Hardy going? Oh, he runs the guardrail for the guardrail run clothesline. Lawler: "He ran all the way around the ring for that?" Dreamer and Storm are in, and Dreamer gets a spinebuster and half crab. In comes Regal, and Dreamer cuts him off, but Storm catches him with a heel kick to the jaw for 2. Modified crossface, and Regal is tagged in. He immediately goes for knees into the face. Tag to Storm, who grinds the jaw with his forearm. Regal tagged in. Crossface with an armbar. Dreamer fights out of it but gets knocked down with a punch. Storm tagged in, and an elbow underneath the chin gets 2. Into a crevatte, and a drop toehold into a front facelock. Dreamer breaks it with a backdrop and tags Jeff, but Regal deliberately distracts Charles Robinson so it doesn't. Somehow the turnbuckle is exposed, and they drive Dreamer into it, and Storm covers for the win at 3:29. Too short as usual for Regal and Storm. * Postmatch, Hardy does a decent number on both men until Storm hits Jeff with a chop block and puts him in a half crab. Regal brings in a chair, but before they can do anything, Dreamer is in with the Singapore cane, and the heels run.

Flair has found (Don't Call Me Dave) Batista, and Flair immediately kisses his ass, but says he needs to open up more. Flair into Batista's background: Batista had to fight everyday of his life since he bounced from foster home to foster home. So Flair wants everyone to see the real Dave Batista.

----------
COMMERCIAL BREAK
----------

Good psychology as always from Storm and Regal (give them 10 minute matches NOW), but I smell a heel turn for Jeff Hardy. This is three weeks in a row that he has done nothing to help his partner, and you'd have to think that eventually someone's going to call him on it and we have an instant feud. I know if my partner was doing nothing but standing on the apron and refused to make a save EVER I'd be highly pissed off.

Segment 5

One fall: Don't Call Me Dave Batista (w/The Man WHOO!) vs. The Hurricane

They have dropped "Dave", so they at least listened to me on one point. Now they're sacrificing good wrestlers who are over for this push. Batista won't allow Hurricane into the ring after he gives a kid at ringside his mask. Hurricane ducks a punch and gets a few in, but Batista whips him into the corner and takes him down with a spinebuster. Into the ropes, and the High Angle Sitout Power Bomb wins it in 51 seconds. Yes, that was the full play-by-play. DUD Flair wants him to do it again, but here comes Kane for the save, and he gets in a couple of clotheslines that send Batista over the top rope. Flair wants Batista to wait for his revenge.

Booker T is on his way to the ring.

----------
COMMERCIAL BREAK
----------

I really wish they'd use someone like Jeff Hardy to help build this Batista push. That being said, I did appreciate the (probably unintentional) continuity, as Kane comes out to save his fellow freak. And I have no arguments with Batista winning that match because a guy his size should very rarely lose to a cruiserweight, but couldn't Hurricane have at least gotten a couple of moves in? He can work, he's over, and he gets squashed in 51 seconds. WWE logic, ladies and gentlemen. Anyway, decent build to the upcoming Kane-Batista match, but...Eh, I'm repeating myself if I finish that thought.

Segment 6

Someone Feed Terri is with the Holy Bible Kid, who asks how his back's doing. He's here, so he's fine, if he's a little slow. But why is he here? Well, there's a top contenders match tonight, and while he wants another match with RVD, he needs Triple H. In comes Rob...Van...Dam, who says Triple H was unwanted, RVD had him beat, and Trips ruins things as usual. RVD wants to know how HBK was ever friends with that [BEEP], but before Shawn can answer, in comes Bisch to interrupt...and long story short, HBK is your special referee tonight. ("Oh come on!") Oh, like you didn't see this coming. And Bisch wants it called down the middle, because if it isn't, he'll strip Shawn of the title (and if he awards it to Triple H, heads will roll). Yeah, that'll help the credibility of that title.

One fall: Booker T vs. Y2J+2

As Jericho comes to the ring, Booker calls for the music to be cut. Jericho always calls himself a real rock star, but after seeing him naked last week, "You ain't huge nowhere." Maybe Jericho should be a movie star so he could star in Stuart Little. But Booker T's first feature film: "8 Mile". Can you dig that, sucka? I didn't need to know that.

Booker T gets the advantage right away, and he levels Jericho with a series of chops. Jericho gets an elbow and clothesline and goes to work. Returning the chops in the corner, and a chokehold. Up to the second rope, but Booker punches him in the midsection coming down. Side slam gets 2. Kick to the chest, but Jericho avoids the leg lariat and Booker straddles the top rope. A springboard dropkick sends Booker to the floor, and out comes Jericho with a double-axhandle to the back. Back in, and Jericho up top...flying elbow for 2. Into a chinlock. Booker with some elbows, but Jericho takes him down. Up to the middle turnbuckle, and a double-axhandle gets 2. The Chris Jericho Juke and Jive, and up top again, but Booker gets to him and chops away. Up top with him...superplex! Both men are down, so Nick Patrick counts. Jericho up first, but it's Booker fighting back. Series of clotheslines, Irish whip, Jericho with a kick to the face, but Booker with a flapjack for 2. Brisco sunset flip by Booker, but Jericho rolls through into the Walls of Jericho, and Booker reaches the ropes. Jericho disputes the call and pushes Patrick, who pushes back. Booker with a forearm, up top...missle dropkick for 2! Jericho misses a dropkick, and Booker slingshots him into a turnbuckle and knocks Jericho down. Booker teases the Spinnaroonie but gets a facecrusher for his troubles. Booker comes back with a leg lariat, Christian on the apron, Christian off the apron, and Jericho goes for the Walls, which is countered into a small package. Christian on the apron, Goldust with the save, Booker with the scissors kick and cover, but Chief Morley stops the match due to outside interference at 7:58. BUT it will be restarted as a World Tag Team Title Match! That match after the break!

----------
COMMERCIAL BREAK
----------

You know, this match was getting into a pretty good groove before the interference hit, and I'm already starting to get very weary of Morley's new character. Restarts are fine to a point, but after two last week in the Tag Team Title match, I don't see the point. Especially since when you look at it, Christian was the only one who was doing anything illegal (Goldust merely tried to stop him), Booker T had the match won, so what's the problem? It's not as if Jericho had the cover after Christian's run-in.

Segment 7

World Tag Team Championship Match: Booker T and Goldust vs. Y2J+2 and ChrisTIAN (champions)

The match started during the break. Christian tags Jericho, but Goldust takes him down with an armdrag. Tag to Booker, holding him for Booker, and a HIGH leg lariat for 2. Booker with chops, Christian gets a shot from behind, and Booker doesn't slow down, so Jericho rolls to the floor. Goldust over to that side and rolling Jericho in. Booker with mounted punches in the corner, but Christian drops him throat first onto the top rope to make him face-in-peril. Typical heel double teaming occurs as Goldust's help does nothing but distract Nick Patrick. Jericho has Booker over the middle rope, and there's the squisher (tm Kevin Nash). Christian in, and he tries his own squisher, but Booker moves and Christian hits the rope groin first. In comes Goldust and Jericho. Goldust with a reverse neckbreaker and lariat. Mounted punches, stopped by an oncoming Christian. Goldust uppercuts both of them. Facecrusher to Christian and the Shattered Dreams, and Jericho moves in but misses and gets Christian. Goldust rolls Jericho up and gets such a close near fall that starts a "bullshit" chant. Booker in, and a spinebuster gets another 2 and the crowd boos AGAIN! Spinnaroonie, but Christian brings in the bell. Booker avoids it. Booker and Goldust clothesline him to the floor, but Jericho takes Booker down and puts his feet on the ropes for two. Booker gets the Book End, and Christian pulls Patrick out of the ring for 2. Jericho with the belt shot and the Lionsault, and this time Patrick does count 3 at 6:38 shown. **1/2 stars for both segments (and a lot of that for the finish). Where's the restart now that it's actually warranted?

Still to come tonight, a top contenders match!

----------
COMMERCIAL BREAK
----------

Hey! The crowd woke up! See what a good match can do? An excellent (and hot) finish minus the belt shot, but right here is the key problem with the Chief Morley gimmick. We get a tag team title match because of outside interference that wasn't going to matter, but pulling the referee out of the ring and using the title belt doesn't warrant a restart? They either need to be consistent with these restarts or they need to forget about them, because the rules are changing so often from segment to segment that I could swear I'm watching the NFL. But give me a rematch without all this screwy overbooking and I'm happy.

Segment 8

Raw Retro (10/12/1998--my 20th birthday): Steve Austin pours cement into Vince McMahon's corvette. Also the night of the Intercontinental Title tournament. Go to wwe.com and vote for your favorite Raw moment of all time (Foley wins World Title).

F-View shows Test and My Future Wife making out (and it's even on central time). Stacy has another marketing idea.

Non-title match: Jacqueline vs. Victoria (WWE Women's Champion)

Notice how Jacqueline is never used unless they're either in Texas or they don't have enough people to work Heat? Victoria enters the ring and shoves Jacky to the mat. Snap suplex gets 2. A kick is blocked, and Jacqueline gets a legsweep for 2. A rana gets 2. I don't remember Jacky ever using that. Victoria up top, but Jacky kicks her leg and follows her up...superplex for 2. European uppercuts, and Victoria takes her down with a drop toehold into the bottom rope, then a slingshot somersault legdrop for 2. Jacky fighting back, but she misses a charge into the corner. Backdrop counter by Jacky though, and she gets a spinning kick to the side of the head for the pin at 2:37 (?). * Big Stevie Cool is out, and he blows by Jacky to check on Victoria.

----------
COMMERCIAL BREAK
----------

Color me surprised, because even non-title I didn't expect that one. Not even in her home state. When was the last time Jacky won a match on TV before tonight? I can't even remember! Actually a couple of decent spots in here too, so I think this was better than Ivory-Trish. Not really a good sign when your pet project in the division is upstaged later in the show.

Segment 9

Live in the ring, Victoria is cradling her title, and she claims Jacqueline cheating and she's nagging for her to come back down. But cue the music, as here comes Big Poppa Steroid Pump. They sell this as a surprise even though Morley more or less promised this last week. Victoria and Richards aren't smart enough to leave, so expect a beatdown. Steiner offers Victoria a chance to be with a real man, but sorry Scotty, Victoria ain't my type. But Victoria won't be with Scotty tonight, because Bisch has a surprise. Victoria says he doesn't have what it takes, Stevie attacks from behind, and it's all Scott Steiner from here. Hello, my name is Steven, I'll be your sacrificial lamb this evening. Victoria tries to attack from behind and gets dropped. JR: "Well, she mounted Steiner, but she didn't ride for very long." The ring is clear, and here comes Bisch to welcome Scotty back to Raw and generally kiss his ass. Bisch has a special gift for Steiner if he'll just come to the back with him. It's like a University of Texas recruiting trip. Damn, JR used that joke as I was typing it! We follow them backstage, and there are about ten of Texas' finest waiting for him. Steiner appreciates it, but he has a superfreak in the limo. Turning down Texas women? And who should be in the limo but Stephanie McBitch? She can offer something he can't. But is this an official signing? That's the implication.

----------
COMMERCIAL BREAK
----------

Well, shit. There go all my steroid jokes. But three things really bother me about this segment. One, who in their right mind would turn down ten Texas women for Stephanie McMahon? Seriously, Texas women are among the hottest in the planet, and a lot of them are actually quite sweet to go along with it. Secondly, why is that chick still on my show every so often? One of the few bright spots with this show is the general lack of Stephanie McMahon, and once a month or so, she has to show up just to make my skin crawl. Third, what the hell did Stephanie McMahon actually do to sign Steiner. The implication is that she's sleeping with him, but...bah! Fairly important segment, but this doesn't bode too well for those hoping for Angle and/or Benoit to main event WrestleMania on the SmackDown side of things.

Segment 10

RNN Breaking News (Live from the World): JR immediately interrupts Randy Orton, and Orton is pissed...because we go to Hunter trying to find HBK. He found him. Oh joy. Oh rapture. Hunter asks about the back, then says the chair shot is only the beginning because sooner or later, he's going for the belt. He'll finish what he started at Armageddon. HBK tells him he's full of shit because he's already won twice and Hunter's life will be a living hell as long as he has the title. Oh, and if Hunter's disqualified...Game Over.

Top Contenders Match scheduled for one fall with special referee the Holy Bible Kid...

And RVD gets ready...

----------
COMMERCIAL BREAK
----------

HHHater Clock: Three segments, 3:48, and the first segment he's been in since segment 2. Notice that Randy Orton's updates have interrupted everybody except Triple H. Coincidence? Possibly, but the coincidences that just happen to involve Triple H are becoming far too frequent. Anyway, actually a nice segment to give just a faint glimmer of hope to the RVD faithful, but until I hear Lillian Garcia announce RVD as the winner, I don't see any chance in hell of that happening.

Segment 11

Top Contenders Match scheduled for one fall with special referee the Holy Bible Kid: Rob...Van...Dam vs. Hungry Hungry Hippos (w/The Man WHOO!)

And they'd better use the overrun because there ain't a lot of time left before the top of the hour (Hunter enters first at 10:55 Eastern). Three months ago today, Hunter was handed the title...and pinned by RVD in a tag team match. Is it fate? Somehow I doubt anybody on creative actually thought of that. That one might be all JR. HBK is sending Flair to the locker room before RVD even gets to the ring.

RVD immediately ducks a clothesline and gets in forearms. Enzuigiri miss into a back kick, and listen to that RVD chant. LISTEN TO IT, DAMMIT! Hunter tries to throw a punch, but HBK stops it. Kicks from RVD get a couple of two counts. Hunter immediately wants a Pedigree but is backdropped over the top. And RVD is onto him with a slingshot plancha! And he sends Hunter into the ringsteps. RVD in...baseball slide. He puts Hunter onto the guardrail, then it's thumb pointing followed by a spinning guardrail legdrop. Back into the ring they go. RVD to the top and a flying side kick gets 2. Straight forward (but slow) count. Not slow as in screwjob slow, slow as in Bronco Lubich slow. Triple H with a high knee and a cover, and HBK with a screwjob slow count for 2. RVD with an inside cradle and a quick 2 count. So the title's vacant now, right? Hunter into the Sleeper of Supreme Suckitude, but RVD reverses. Hunter reaches for the ropes, but HBK pushes it away from him. So how are they screwing RVD this time? The shoulders go down, and Hunter gets the foot on the bottom rope at 2. Split-legged moonsault misses. A series of punches, but RVD reverses a corner whip. Hunter avoids a charge, HBK ducks HHH, and RVD catches HBK on accident with a moonsault bodyblock. Hunter leaves the ring, grabs the chair, and HBK grabs the chair from him. RVD goes for a spin kick, but misses and catches HBK. This time he gets HHH and hits the rolling thunder. RVD goes to help HBK, but HHH grabs the chair and levels RVD with it. Cover. One. Two. Reluctant three at 6:31. *1/4, and mostly for RVD's spots. Why is it that every time Shawn Michaels is the special referee, he makes a reluctant three count after a chair comes into play? Hunter wants HBK to raise his hand, but HBK won't do it. JR: "The WWE doesn't revolve around Triple H... [quietly] the last I looked." HBK finally raises his hand...and here's the brawl to total apathy. Out come referees and officials, and they all go down, and again to total apathy. Finally HBK gets the flying forearm and nip up to an OK pop and tunes up the band, but Arn Anderson (among others) tries to stop it. No good! Sweet Chin Music to Triple H...to total apathy. Are you guys getting the hint yet? HBK stands alone in the ring. And I officially keep my $35 on the 15th.

----------
END OF SHOW
----------

Officially off the air at 11:07 Eastern.

So what do I think? Too damn predictable, although I expected the full SummerSlam 1997 finish where Shawn was actually the one to swing the chair. But quite frankly, Shawn Michaels technically did not call the match down the middle, and technically should be stripped of the title, but technically, if this title has any credibility left, then I'd rather they forget that stipulation and keep it on Shawn since you know Hunter's getting it back pronto no matter what. But where does this leave RVD? You know, the guy the crowd actually popped for? Since there wasn't any outside interference, RVD has no program to work Armageddon with and therefore has either no PPV opponent, or a PPV match that is so hastily thrown together that it won't matter. Major problem here. When people pay to attend a Raw brand show, you could ask 100 people who they paid to see, and 95 of them will say either "RVD" or "Booker T". Now, you've got a pay-per-view coming up in less than two weeks, and while there's a chance that Booker T might be on the card, you more or less just told people that RVD won't be so we can rehash a feud that is met by silence.

HHHater Clock: Four segments, 16:24 (6:31 of it wrestling time). Not bad as far as actual airtime goes, but that four segments is going to sit bad with everybody and keep the Triple H Show comments flowing. In fact, while editing this, TheSmartMarks Forums' own Stephen "Big Poppa" Popick told me he officially became a HHHater tonight. Yes, there were still people who didn't follow the smark line, and they're losing even more of them.

Overall, some really boring wrestling cluttered the first hour, but the double shot of Booker and Jericho was pretty much the only thing that kept me awake long enough to sit through the main event. The frustrating thing is that the guys that are on this roster and can actually work are usually relegated to Heat (either as or against jobbers) or are used in sub-three minute squashes, so we consistently get below average wrestling.

Now send me some feedback.



 

Latest Headlines

 Wrestling
 Old School Wrestling (Week 10)
 Old School Wrestling Weeks 8 & 9
 Old School Wrestling Week 7
 Sports
 Here we go, it's hockey time in Torino.
 TSM College Football Recruiting Spectacular
 UFC 57: Liddell vs. Couture III Preview
 Entertainment
 DVD Releases: Week of June 6th
 DVD Releases: Week of May 30th
 DVD Releases: Week of May 23rd
 " The Gravel Pit "
 From JHawk's Beak: Insomnia Edition
 PETS
 Searching For Gold In The Age Of Plastic: Depression