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Shane McMahon on TV is a Bad Thing.
Posted by Matt Ditaliano on Jul 30, 2003, 18:05
Well, my fine readers, I had a great weekend. What about you? Please donít answer that, as I really donít care. However, this is my column so I can tell you about my weekend. I could probably do nothing but tell you about my weekend, but Dames frowns on that kind of stuff. And we donít want Dames to be nicknamed ďFrowniní Dames.Ē His current nickname is bad enough. By the way, did you know that Dames is most active in No Holds Barred? I certainly did not. A random useless fact if there ever was one.
So anyway, I had my block party on Saturday. Aside from the DJ blowing us off, a good time was had by all. There was a band on the block too, so the DJ problem wasnít that bad. Besides, it was a block party. No oneís REALLY listening to the music. We were concentrating to hard on our mindless drunken conversations.
The next day was of course, the block party aftermath. I assume the ďmorning afterĒ reaction can be likened to the reaction to an earthquake or something. Iíve made sure that I donít live anywhere near a place where a major earthquake can hit so I have no idea. And once again, please donít tell me what itís like because I really donít care. As we began the clean-up process, I started talking to someone down the block, and accidentally kicked the crap out of a cinderblock that was being used to keep a tent up. The good news: I didnít break my toe. The bad news: It still hurts a lot. Plus the Band-Aid isnít helping at all.
The rest of the weekend and the following two days went as they usually do. I hung out with some friends and watched Raw. And on this episode of Raw, I saw something that annoys me more than almost anything else in the company right now. Not so much because itís an asinine thing to do but because, for some reason I seem to be the one of the few people bothered by this.
Over the last month or so, Kane has been built up as a monster. He killed Bischoff, beat up Austin, BBQed JR (::sigh::) destroyed RVD, Rico and Tommy Dreamer (and why is RVD now in THAT group?) and Tombstoned Linda. He had all the workers in the company afraid of him, some didnít even come to work. The Kane segments have been the highest rated segments of the show for like three or four weeks now. Now, how exactly can we screw this all up?
Yes, of course, add McMahons.
Linda was fine in her role. I actually like Linda. She comes in, makes an important announcement and then leaves for six months. Thatís probably why sheís the McMahon that draws ratings whenever she shows up. In fact, in it of itself, the Linda McMahon Tombstoning was a cool way to advance the Kane storyline, mainly because Linda WOULD go away and sell it forever. (Or until the next direction change) In fact, with the new camera angles, the Tombstone looked pretty okay. We could no longer see that Lindaís head was about eight inches from the ground. It really made Kane look evil.
That all went to Hell in a hand basket when Vince started up Raw wearing God knows what and told everyone he would confront Kane later in the night. Everyone with half a brain knew that EVIL~! Vince would try to align himself with Kane and leach off him in the storyline. At 11:50 or whenever this happened, Vince confirmed that his only intention (storyline wise) was to align himself with Kane. When Kane didnít annihilate Vince right there, I could see everything start to swirl down the drain. Kaneís refusal to beat up Austin sped up the swirling. But the worst was yet to come.
When I heard ďHere Comes the Money!Ē I knew it was all over. Yet another McMahon go himself on TV and into this Kane story arc. Still, it could have been saved. If Shane ran in and Kane through him through the Titantron or something, everything would still be okay. Unfortunately, thatís just not the McMahon way. Kane, the man that absolutely no one has been able to do anything to (and these are trained wrestlers) was felled by Shane McMahon, who last I checked, has an official position that is basically running the website. Not only did Kane need a 60-year-old man to pull Shane off him, but he RAN AWAY from Shane! Why? It defies logic! Shane than proceeds to knock Kane off the stage. Kane apparently gets the heat that he lost from running away from The bossís son by laughing at him.
And people love this!
Iíll never understand the Shane McMahon love. People will complain all day about Vince and Stephanie, but wait in suspense for Shane to make his return. Does Shane not take up gratuitous amounts of TV time? Does he not overshadow all the wrestlers he comes near? Does he not take away valuable TV and even Pay Per View time away from actual deserving wrestlers? Yes? Then what makes him any different that Vince and Stephanie?
Before someone tries to claim that Shane isnít screwing anyone over, I will disprove you with three little letters: RVD.
Ever since his burial by HHH last fall, Rob has been stuck in a horrible tag team with Kane. Since about February, the two of them have been teasing a split. Kaneís ineptitude and mask problems cost them matches against both Storm and Regal and HHH and Batista. Well that lasted all of a week or so before they were all happy again and chasing the heatless duo of Storm and Morely for the tag titles. The feud was deemed so unimportant that the match was left off the Wrestlemania card. It occurred on Heat where Rob jobbed to an elbow drop. (He would then job to a DDT two weeks later, but thatís a whole different issue that I covered last month.) Kane and RVD would win the tag titles next night and then go on an excruciatingly boring three-month reign where they went progressively down the card. Somewhere along the line Austin tried to motivate Kane to stop sucking, which led directly to RVD and Kane losing to the horrible La Resistance on the equally horrible Bad Blood pay per view. All this somehow led into the mask vs. title match two weeks later where Triple H beat Kane again and Kane was unmasked to look like a doofus. Sensing the dufocity of it all and trying some damage control, Kane chokeslammed RVD who had come out to help Kane.
This led to the Kane on a monster tear where he said he hated RVD and blamed him for the whole thing. In between beating everyone else in the company up, Kane through Rob through a wall. Two weeks later, he tried to throw Rob off the stage. He settled on smashing his skull and trying to electrocute him. Under normal circumstances, this EIGHT MONTH BUILD would set up the big match at Summerslam.
Enter Shane McMahon.
Besides the fact that Shane McMahon is the first guy to slay the monster, he stole RVDís Summerslam match! From 1wrestling.com
At this point, it looks like WWE will be going with Kane vs. Shane McMahon for Summerslam. With no other major babyface opponents lined up, WWE apparently feels that Shane would be a good foil for the "monster" Kane.
NO BABYFACE OPPONENTS? Did I not just illustrate how Rob Van Dam is THE babyface opponent for Kane? Of course I did, but if they did that, Shane McMahon couldnít get himself on TV, overshadow all the wrestlers and take up huge amounts of time on the mic pretending to be fifteen years old. And, of course, make it onto Summerslam, shoving RVD off the show.
Letís face it. Summerslam is only so big. They need to accommodate both raw and Smackdown on this show, so there canít possibly be more than four or five matches for each brand. On Raw we have the following possible matches: HHH/Goldberg, Orton/HBK, Jericho/Nash, Kane/Shane, Booker/Christian, Dudleyz/La Resistance and Steiner/Test. Some of those matches have to be cut off as it is, so thereís really no room at all for another match for RVD. Because Shane stole his Kane match.
Hasnít Rob been buried enough? The guy went from viable top contender last Fall to whatever he is now, jobbing to DDTs and elbow drops. Heís already been left off two pay per view cards in the last year, Armageddon and Wrestlemania. And only losers donít make Mania. Can he really afford to be left off Summerslam on top of all that? What viable contender never makes pay per views? Why should we care about a guy who isnít important enough to be placed on the two largest shows of the year? How is he important? Why does he mean anything? Heís right there with Stevie Richards and Tommy Dreamer. They never make the big shows and no one cares about them. If Rob misses this show, how far away is he from Tommy Dreamer?
Besides Robís career and status within the company and in the eyes of the fans, what about his wallet? Why should Rob get left off this huge show and miss the big payday? Why should he have to miss an opportunity like this so SHANE MCMAHON can get on the show? If we complain when Vince and Stephanie do it to people, why not complain when Shane costs someone a payday by putting himself on a pay per view for no reason? It doesnít seem fair. He isnít any better or nicer when heís screwing people over for his own ego and gain, itís just that he takes a big bump so somehow that makes everything all better.
The ideal thing to do is have the Shane vs. Kane match up on Raw next week or two weeks from now if you want to hype it up. Make it a big match and promote it all show. And when the time comes, have Shane get exactly zero offensive moves in. Absolutely nothing. Make it a total massacre ending with a big spot where Kane kills Shane and sends him off TV forever. Then have RVD come out and not so much make the save, but maybe check on Shane after Kane leaves the ring and challenge him to the big match at Summerslam. It puts Kane over as a huge monster. It lets Shane take his bump. It gets Shane off TV. Most importantly, it gets Rob back into the Kane program and onto Summerslam so people can care about him again.
From there, you move on to the big long feud between RVD and Kane. At Summerslam, Kane, of course wins and wins decisively. But he doesnít crush Robís will and desire to beat Kane. Over the next couple of months, Kane goes on a tear, destroying everyone in sight. Rob goes on a similar, but smaller tear, while being a thorn in monster Kaneís side. This all leads up to Wrestlemania, where RVD finally defeats Kane in a big gimmick match and becomes a cemented main eventer.
And really, thatís how it should have been all along.