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UWC TV Taping On-Site Report (9/9/2003)
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on Sep 10, 2003, 19:23

UWC TV Taping On-Site Report (9/9/2003)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins

For those of you who read my report about this past weekend's UWC Off the Hook event (and if you didn't, why not? It's archived at forever and ever and ever and is a really good read, even if I do say so myself), you'll note that I asked about screen passes on 3rd and long. Leave it to "Your Rolemodel" Ric Lieb to explain that the idea is the defense is playing for the first down pass, so you throw the screen thinking the running back can take advantage. Of course, if it actually worked for the Browns once or twice, maybe I'd buy the theory. Oh well.

Anyway, Shamrock Nite Club in Barberton, Ohio once again held tapings on Tuesday for this coming Sunday's episode of UWC Ripped. Of course, last week's taping wound up being completely meaningless, as channels 29 and 35 showed the previous week's episode again instead, so I basically reported on a house show last week. No harm done, I guess, but those people who were watching for the first time this past Sunday are going to be confused as hell when they show up at North High School expecting to see a wrestling show and getting a cheerleading practice instead.

As always, spoilers galore, so read another great article at TSM if you get the show and want to be surprised.

By the way, a special thanks to the UWC for providing a link to TSM on the Off the Hook results page at

The first shock of the night comes with the opening dark match, as we actually get introductions! No more using question marks in place of names! WHOO HOO!

Dark Match: Super Sydal vs. The Akron Demolisher

The question is "How many different names will the Demolisher have before he's trained well enough to actually get something resembling a push?" Short match, as Sydal hits what looks like Barry Windham's old jumping DDT for the pin at 2:06.

Gimmick vs. Gimmick Match: Kid Lightning vs. The Hidden Dragon

Normally I'd question this being a dark match with that stipulation, but I forgot that they don't use either of these guys on TV that much anyway. Basically a case of teacher vs. student here, and Lightning was trained by Dragon. Quite the interesting little tidbit there. This one was filled with a number of sick looking head drop spots (and how many of them were actually supposed to land on the heads is still a mystery). The referee goes down, and Kano, Dragon's tag team partner (well, former partner, I guess), comes in and attacks Dragon. This allows Lightning to hit a swinging DDT to get the pin at 4:21. Dragon now has to change his gimmick, and I'm hoping he goes back to just being Eddie Insane, as there was absolutely nothing wrong with that gimmick.

Dark Match #3: "Happy" Mike Smiley and Mardi Gras vs. Rip Cripple and Animal (w/Ric Lieb and Vinn Wilder)

Basically an extended squash for the Four Henchmen, as they pretty much dominate from the beginning. Cripple pins Mardi Gras with the Hamilton Elbow at 5:09.

The taping starts with UWC President Bo Smirnow (who shoots me a mean look for my "You're not Bischoff" chant) and Assistant President Eugene "No Relation to Gail" Kim thanking the fans for attending Off the Hook and to invite us all back to North High School in Akron on November 1 for...Kim grabs the mic to say "Extreme Halloween", and Smirnow yells at him because he wasn't told to speak. Ooo, catty!

The Red Spyder vs. "The Black Superman" Vinn Wilder (w/The Four Henchmen)

Spyder gets a little bit of token offense in, but is simply no match for Wilder's power. Wilder gets the four count pin with the Black Kryptonite at 4:00.

Otis Mann vs. "The Russian Butcher" Sirob Draga

I would like someone to explain to me why a Russian wrestler would be wearing shorts that clearly have the English word "starter" printed on them. Mann has wrestled as The Suicide Kid and Kenny Courageous in dark matches over the past two months. Decent match, with Mann getting a bit of offense in but basically getting destroyed by Draga. Draga scores the pin with the spear at 4:35.

Dan Mason is interviewed by Hollywood, and after a crack about Hollywood's jeans ("1984 called, they want their jeans back"), Mason dismisses Hollywood. Mason is still furious about being forced into the hardcore battle royal at Off the Hook and the subsequent choke slam from the Purple Hooter, but he's got one on Bo Smirnow, as Mason's contract states that he's entitled to his own talk show. So next week, security cameras will capture all the action for the newest segment on UWC Ripped, "A Tastin' of the Mason". Considering he usually uses that reference for a certain part of his anatomy, I'm worried about exactly what these cameras are going to pick up.

Kano vs. Phattie Dattie

Since the match from last week didn't air, we do it again. It's almost a carbon copy of last week's match, complete with ill-advised high flying moves in the low ceiling. Dattie hits the flapjack, then uses a rolling reverse cradle into a bridge to get the pin at 3:38.

Main Event #1 for a shot at the UWC Tag Team Titles at Extreme Halloween: "High Impact" Bret Myers and Virus vs. Feature Presentation (w/Tim Shady)

Atlantis injured his leg when he frog splashed Tack at Off the Hook, so he not only has his knee wrapped up, but he's also wearing a walking cast on the same leg. And you thought Triple H was noticably injured back at Armageddon last December. Solid matchup until the ref bump, which enables "The Champ" John Potok to run in and hit Virus with a baseball bat. That's enough for Mikey Showtime to get the pin at 6:00. Bo Smirnow immediately comes out, and while he doesn't technically reverse the decision, he rules that because there was no "clear winner", we'll simply get the three way rematch instead of the 2-on-2 match. I think The Shadows of Darkness are getting screwed here. The stipulation will be announced next week, and it had better have "no countout" somewhere in it.

Postmatch, one fan who goes to as many indy shows in the area as he can starts taunting the heels to the point that a couple of fans and trainees actually try to keep him restrained. Pretty much all in good fun (at least I hope), and very entertaining to boot.

Main Event #2 for the UWC TV Title: The Purple Hooter (UWC Hardcore Extreme Champion) vs. Justin Dreams (UWC TV Champion)

The Four Henchmen are sitting front row for this contest. Before the match, Hooter asks for Dreams' autograph, but Dreams drops the pen. Hooter bends down to pick it up, Dreams attacks, and the match is on. Dreams takes control for the bulk of the match, but Hooter eventually makes a mini comeback. He reaches for the Purple Juice, but the Henchmen immediately become involved. The interference is enough for Dreams to cradle Hooter for the pin to retain the title in 4:47. Um...doesn't the Hardcore Extreme Title have a 24/7 rule? Why didn't it change hands? Oh well.

The taping itself is over, but there's still a dark match for us.

Dark Match: Mike Smiley vs. Ric Lieb

Lieb also suffered an injury at Off the Hook, as he literally had to pop his shoulder back into place following his match with Timebomb Fred Potok. It's easier to ask who stayed healthy on Saturday than who got hurt. Short and to the point, as Lieb hits the 4H before locking the Rolemodel Clutch for the submission win at 2:48.

That's it for the wrestling, but Sex Symbol Keith Young decides to show us how to run the ropes before we head home. And Young's a pretty big man to be doing that, but he did it quite well.

Overall, a pretty decent show. Hey, they've got a match for a show that's nearly two months away already, while WWE tries to throw them together two weeks beforehand when we're lucky. And hell, I'm looking more forward to that match than I am Unforgiven right now.

Until then, you've got the temporary e-mail addy, so e-mail me and join me for a shortened SmackDown recap at TSM tomorrow night.


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