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The Dames' Diatribe on WWE Raw - December 29th, 2003
Posted by The Dames on Dec 30, 2003, 02:30
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The Dames� Diatribe on WWE Raw � December 29th, 2003
After a well deserved week off, I�m back with tonight�s WWE Raw Diatribe.
Before we get into it, just a reminder that a Diatribe on the Ultimate Ric Flair Collection DVD is coming and the first of three parts should be posted on TSM within the week.
When last we left you: Mick Foley walked out on Raw, Shawn Michaels earned a World Title shot against Triple H in his hometown of San Antonio, Goldberg was �deactivated� for 30 days and it was announced that Stone Cold Steve Austin would be lobbying to get his job back with the WWE Board of Directors on this telecast.
Tonight�s Raw broadcast begins with a video recap of Mick Foley�s walk out two weeks ago on Raw.
The show opens with Mick Foley�s theme playing, but the crowd (and most likely, the home viewer) are already accustomed to this ruse and show it with their lack of a pop, as it isn�t Mick Foley coming down the aisle to his entrance music, but Randy Orton.
Orton gets on the mic and declares that not only is Mick Foley a coward, but he�s also a smart man for not stepping into the ring with him. Orton then asks Lillian Garcia to come into the ring to declare him the winner since there was no official announcement at the end of Raw two weeks ago. She obliges his request and then, upon his further request, also declares Orton to be the new �Hardcore Legend�, now that Foley has left the promotion.
Booker T interrupts the proceedings and from the ramp, challenges Orton to an IC title match. Booker tells the crowd that his New Year�s Resolution is to defeat Orton for the IC Title and he�ll accomplish that tonight, sucka.
Booker begins to walk down the ramp, towards the ring, when he�s attacked from behind by Mark Henry (accompanied by Teddy Long). Henry rams Booker into the side stage area head first, laying out the 5 time WCW Champion. With Booker down, Orton gets in his face and accepts the challenge for the IC Title.
Backstage, Mark Henry and Teddy Long are confronted by Raw GM Eric Bischoff about their actions. With the Board of Directors deciding Austin�s fate, Bischoff is trying to be on his best behavior and has promised that there will be no interference in the Triple H/Shawn Michaels World Title match later on tonight. Teddy Long tells Bischoff that he�d like to collect on his Survivor Series favor now, but Bischoff asks him and Mark Henry to take the night off, promising to make due on their favor next week.
My Two Cents: I like the continuity that is being shown here with the Survivor Series favor. Everyone who Bischoff promised a favor to has collected, with the exceptions of Chris Jericho and Mark Henry. With Survivor Series having taken place almost two months ago, I�m impressed that the Creative Team actually remembered it. I�m sure that will be the case once again when Jericho�s face turn is complete.
On that note, can�t they just let the Booker T/Mark Henry mini-feud die already?
A promo then airs for WWE Originals, a CD release featuring current WWE superstars such as Rikishi, Rey Mysterio and Stacy Keibler, singing new songs. My morbid curiosity will probably get the better of me when it comes to this guaranteed-to-suck CD release. Then again, my morbid curiosity also persuaded me to get a copy of the Randy Savage rap album.
Rob Van Dam vs. Scott Steiner
Match Background: These two men haven�t really had issues as of late, although approximately a month ago, Steiner took on RVD as part of a Singapore Cane Handicap match (with Test) at the behest of Eric Bischoff.
The Match: Steiner attacks from the start, but RVD is able to land a pair of spin kicks and a standing moonsault for a two count. He heads to the top rope, but is quickly crotched, allowing Steiner to belly to belly suplex RVD down to the mat. In what will most likely go down as Blown Spot of the Night, Scott Steiner faces the ref and sets up a mule kick for a low blow�but misses completely. He then turns around and kicks RVD square in the nuts to make up for it, in full view of the ref.
Steiner tosses RVD to the outside and makes him taste the steel before throwing him back into the ring and working him over in the corner. Steiner connects with his spinning belly to belly out of the corner for a nearfall before setting RVD up in the Tree of Woe for a choke. Steiner continues to work over RVD with his usual offense, but RVD is able to get the Rolling Thunder, followed by a split legged moonsault for two. Steiner gets up quickly and tosses RVD with a T-Bone suplex before setting RVD up top for a belly to belly again. RVD knocks Steiner off, allowing him to connect with a kick as he leaps off. RVD goes to the top rope and hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the clean win.
Winner: Rob Van Dam
My Opinion: I�m rather surprised by the result, a 100% clean win by RVD, but it�s certainly welcomed. Steiner hasn�t done anything of note as of late and his in ring work has deteriorated to the point that a loss to a perennial midcarder such as RVD doesn�t shock the world. The match was quick and pretty painless, although the blown low blow spot was pretty damn hilarious. 3/4 *
To hype up tonight�s World Title match, highlights of Shawn Michaels� career are being shown in clips called �Heart Break Klassics�. The first clip is of Royal Rumble �97, where Shawn Michaels won the WWF Title for the 2nd time, defeating Sid in his hometown of San Antonio, Texas, which is where tonight�s event is taking place.
The WWE rewind shows the events that took place two weeks ago when Chris Jericho shoved Christian down to protect Trish Stratus at the beginning of the show, only for Christian to do the same to him later on that night.
Christian and Jericho are shown arguing in the back over the shoving incident and Christian demands an apology. Christian says that the bottom line is, after everything that they�ve been through (winning the tag straps, TLC matches, etc.), he turned his back on him for a girl. Christian walks away, leaving Jericho distraught as it seems he�s lost his friend and tag partner as well as Trish Stratus over The Bet.
At the WWE Headquarters in Stamford, CT, The Coach is reporting live on the Board of Directors meeting to possibly reinstate Stone Cold Steve Austin. Coach says that he has learned that Linda McMahon will be speaking in favor of Stone Cold and someone will be speaking against the return of Austin. Vince McMahon walks by The Coach to go into the meeting room and declares that he will be the one speaking against Austin tonight.
The Coach asks the question that many people have been asking about this situation towards Vince: Why can�t he just take care of this himself, since he�s the Owner and Chairman? Vince tells The Coach that WWE is a public company now and therefore, he has to answer to the stockholders, but 9 times out of 10, he gets his way.
Back in San Antonio, Jim Ross bitches about Vince arguing against Austin due to their history and the fact that Austin humiliated Vince in Iraq on Smackdown this past week. This segues into a video package on Smackdown from Baghdad.
Since there has been some discussion about this, I�d like to give my point of view on the Smackdown show. Although it was pretty much a throw away show with all of the babyfaces going over, it wasn�t about storylines or anything of that nature. Whether or not it was a public relations move by WWE, which I�m sure it was, it was still about honoring the troops overseas who are away from their families and giving them a taste of home while they are out fighting for this country. Vince McMahon has always been a devout patriot and has supported the troops and will continue to do so in the future. Despite the jingoistic nature of the Smackdown show, the troops were the focus of the show and that�s how it should have been.
A clip is then show of the Dudley Boys recording a track for the WWE Originals CD.
As the Dudleys are in the ring, preparing for a tag match, a clip is shown of comments by the Dudley�s recorded earlier in the day on Mick Foley�s walk out. They give Foley credit for influencing them and they�re style, but they felt Foley�s walk out displayed cowardice.
As the Dudley�s get ready to face two random jobbers, Ric Flair comes down the aisle in a zebra shirt as he will be the Special Guest Ref for this match.
The Dudley Boys vs. Eddie Craven and Russell Simpson
Special Guest Ref: Ric Flair
Match Background: None, they�re facing jobbers! The issue isn�t between the participants in the match, but with Flair as he and Batista took The Dudley�s tag straps at Armageddon in the Tag Team Turmoil Match.
The Match: D-Von out wrestles both Craven and Simpson momentarily before tagging in Bubba who goes to work on Simpson in the corner. Bubba begins taunting Flair by mocking Flair�s mannerisms and proceeds to knock Simpson down with a right hand. Flair warns him about the closed fist, but Bubba does it again�and Flair calls for the bell.
Winners: Eddie Craven and Russell Simpson via DQ.
Lillian Garcia announces the DQ on the closed fist rule and Bubba nails Flair with one. Batista comes running down the ramp and spinebusters Bubba before hitting his sit out powerbomb on D-Von to lay both Dudley�s out.
My Opinion: This match wasn�t necessary and it lasted about 45 seconds, so how could it get more than a DUD, really? Naturally, this issue is leading towards a tag match between the two teams for the tag straps, which will probably take place at the Royal Rumble.
Another Heart Break Klassic is shown as Shawn Michaels made his comeback at SummerSlam 2002 and defeated Triple H. That was the last time Triple H was on a PPV without the World Heavyweight title being on the line in the match he was in.
In the referee locker room, Bischoff has gathered all of the ref�s together and tells them that the WWE superstars need to respect their authority as officials. J.R. takes his pep talk as nothing more than sucking up to the Board of Directors.
Back in Stamford, CT, The Coach asks Vince McMahon about what was said. Vince tells Coach that he gave Austin his due, he did things for the company that no man has ever done. However, WWE needs to look towards the future and currently, there is no place for him in the promotion. Coach, acting as a �Broadcast Journalist� ala Bobby �The Brain� Heenan, asks Vince how he feels about the petition to bring Austin back. Vince actually has the nerve to say that he gives the fans what they want all the time. However, he�s the father figure and the fans are his children. He makes a great analogy about this by saying that if children had their druthers, they would have candy for breakfast, lunch and dinner, despite it not being good for them. Vince knows what�s good for the fans and Austin is not it.
In the interview area backstage, Trish, Lita and Stacy are all dressed in Santa gear as Terri Runnels asks them about their upcoming match tonight. In the middle of the promo, the girls jump back in a panic as Stone Cold Steve Austin backs up a black pick up truck in their area, honking his horn to a huge pop. Terri asks him what he�s doing in the building and Austin tells her that he�s waiting on a call from the Board of Directors.
Booker T vs. Randy Orton for the IC Title
Match Background: Booker T challenged Orton for the IC Title at the top of the show and Orton accepted it after Booker was attacked by Mark Henry.
The Match: Randy Orton is out first, so let�s hit the music!
EVOLUTION MAKES VICTORIA SCREAM~!
Lillian Garcia makes sure to call Orton the �Hardcore Legend� during his entrance.
They lock up to start, with neither man getting the advantage to a stalemate. Booker gets a hard shoulder tackle on the champion, but Orton is able to get a few blows in by the corner. Booker comes back with chops and right hands and a side kick for a two count. Orton gets his first real offensive maneuver by dropping Booker on the ropes throat first and landing a dropkick for a two count. Booker is able to get a backslide for a two count, but Orton knocks him down with a clothesline and hooks on a rear chinlock.
Booker fights out of it and hits a spinning heel kick (!) on Orton, but it ends up with both men getting into a slugfest. Booker T and Orton come charging off the ropes at each other quickly with Booker nailing a flying forearm for a two count. Booker hits the scissors kick and while Orton is down, he gives them the SPINAROONIE~! He attempts the axe kick, but Orton moves out of the way and looks for the RKO. Booker shoves him away and hits a spinebuster. He comes off the ropes for the axe kick, but Kane�s pyro goes off, distracting Booker. Orton uses the distraction to hit the RKO and gets the win.
Winner: Randy Orton
After the match, Kane goes into the ring, causing Orton to scurry out quickly. Kane attacks Booker T, ending with a chokeslam and walks away without an explanation.
My Opinion: Once again, someone far more talented is fed to Randy Orton in an attempt to get him over. Booker T should be past the IC Champ, not losing to him, but it�s going to take a miracle for him to get out of midcard hell. The match wasn�t great as Orton�s offense is extremely generic and there�s only so much Booker can do to carry him in a few minutes time.
As for Kane�s interference, I�m curious as to what the explanation will be since they haven�t had issues, ever. 3/4 *
Another �Heart Break Klassic� is shown as Shawn Michaels defeated Triple H in the Elimination Chamber at Survivor Series 2002 to capture the World Heavyweight Title.
Back in Stamford, CT, The Coach is with Linda McMahon who actually says �we�ve shown ourselves to be a company who listens to our fans.� Coach asks Linda McMahon if her personal vendetta against Eric Bischoff is influencing her decision. Linda says that Bischoff makes decision based on ego and despite how she feels about him, Austin brings balance to the equation and therefore, should be brought back to Raw. The decision is now in the hands of the Board of Directors.
Backstage, Chris Jericho meets up with Trish Stratus and tries to give her a Christmas present. Trish asks whether or not the present is to make her forget about The Bet. Jericho tells her that it wasn�t about the bet at all, but she cuts him off. Trish tells him that despite whatever Jericho got out of it, all she got was heartbreak. She says that she cared about Jericho and really fell for him. She asks him to leave and Jericho grabs her, telling her that he made a mistake. Trish gives his gift back and lets him know that she made the mistake of trusting him and walks off.
I like how this is all playing out, but I think pre-taped segments would be a lot better. Both Trish and Jericho have done a decent acting job until now, but tonight, it seemed as if Trish was trying not to laugh while feigning sadness, which really kills the illusion for me.
Austin is shown in his pick up truck, drinking a beer, when his cell phone rings. It�s a tease, however, as it isn�t the Board of Directors.
Trish Stratus, Lita & Stacy Keibler vs. Molly Holly, Victoria and Miss Jackie
Match Background: None�just an excuse to have a bunch of women in skimpy outfits at the same time.
The Match: Victoria gets in Stacy�s face to start only for Stacy to perform a spin kick that misses. Molly comes in to face Stacy, but ends up in the corner, the victim of a choke via Keibler�s long ass legs. Lita is tagged in and she attacks the midsection of Molly for a two count. Jackie Gayda attacks Lita as she comes off the ropes, allowing the Women�s Champion to take over. Lita gets a roll up on Molly, but it�s broken up by Jackie, who was late on her cue. Lita looks to DDT her, but Victoria pulls Jackie out of the ring�and then shoves her into the guard rail.
Molly works over Lita in the ring, but Lita is able to get a head scissors and tag in Trish. Trish attacks Molly and gets her handstand rana to take the Women�s Champ down. She hits the Stratusfaction bulldog and Trish gets the clean pinfall.
Winners: Trish Stratus, Lita and Stacy Keibler
After the match, Victoria helps Molly up�only to nail her with the Women�s Title and celebrate with it.
My Opinion: Once again, the match was short and with workers like Jackie Gayda and Stacy Keibler in the ring, you can�t expect much. Trish got the clean pin on the champ, which would put her in line for the Women�s Title, although I have a feeling she�ll be sidetracked by the Jericho storyline. I�m glad that Victoria is getting involved again, as a lone wolf type here, as she�s also a solid player in the women�s division and has a great character. 1/2 *
In the back, Austin finally gets the call from the Board of Directors. He�s told that he�s back on Raw�.but as Co-GM with Eric Bischoff, which displeases him. Austin tells him that he�s only coming back on his terms and conditions and gets upset about it. He tells them to shove the Co-GM position and drives away in his pick up, dragging some lighting equipment with it.
Finally, we get to the main event, with PLENTY of time to spare�.
Triple H (w/Ric Flair) vs. Shawn Michaels for the World Heavyweight Title
Match Background: Two weeks ago on Raw, Shawn Michaels pinned Triple H clean in a 2 on 3 handicap match. This has earned him a Title shot for tonight�s show in his hometown of San Antonio. These two men are not strangers to each other at all as they were former best friends who became enemies last year. They met at Summer Slam 2002, Survivor Series 2002 and at Armageddon 2002, trading the World Title between them.
The Match: They lock up to start with HBK getting a side headlock on the champ and keeping it on despite HHH trying to shove HBK off. Michaels comes off the ropes into a harsh back elbow and HHH tosses him over the top. Michaels holds on and skins the cat back in, sending HHH to the outside with a head scissors. He mocks Flair, which gets a rise out of him and Michaels knocks him off of the apron to the floor. He hits a springboard cross body on both HHH and Flair together on the outside to a pop.
HHH gets back in the ring and HBK works on the arm for a bit, frustrating the champion with his inability to counter Michaels. HHH goes to the ropes for a clean break and in a funny moment, HBK nonchalantly kicks the middle rope while talking to the ref to low blow the champ. HHH is now fully frustrated, charging at Michaels only to get nailed and put in an armbar again. HHH sends Michaels to the corner and works him over there, using his power, but Michaels fights back with chops and sends the champ over the top.
In the ring, HBK ducks a HHH attack and hooks on a sleeper, only to transition into a school boy for two. HHH goes for a side headlock, but HBK counters with a head scissors. HBK bridges out of a predicament into a backslide for two. Michaels charges at HHH into the corner, but gets elevated up and over the top to the outside.
When we come back from a commercial break, Triple H is working over Michaels in the corner with right hands and kicks to the midsection. HBK fights back , but HHH hits a beautiful backbreaker on him and gets a two count. HHH drops a few elbows onto HBK�s back and connects with a few right hands for a two count. HBK begins to slug back and out of desperation, HHH tosses Michaels to the outside and rams him into the steel steps, shoulder first. Back in the ring, Michaels gets a sunset flip and a close two count out of it before HHH nails him with a hard clothesline for two. HHH hooks on an abdominal stretch, but the fans rally around him, so Flair gives HHH an unfair advantage by giving him more leverage. Michaels hip tosses HHH over and begins to rally back. As HBK charges at HHH, HHH uses his high knee, but lands awkwardly and he looks injured. Flair freaks out and asks HHH is he�s alright, but he continues the match. HHH goes for another backbreaker but HBK goes for the leg and hooks on the Figure Four and place erupts! HHH is selling like a madman! HHH can�t get to the ropes as HBK keeps pulling him back! HHH is almost pinned off of it, but Flair rakes HBK�s eyes as the ref is distracted by Triple H.
Triple H can barely stand as Michaels gets up, but Triple H tosses him to the outside to try and buy himself some time. Michaels goes to the top and leaps off, but Triple H sets him up for the Pedigree�only to get backdropped! The fans are chanting the 10 count with the ref in unison as the crowd is ALIVE for this match! HHH and HBK collide and HBK ends up low blowing Triple H when he falls to a pop.
They brawl in the corner with Michaels getting the advantage and he follows it up with an atomic drop. He does it again and hits the flying forearm before nipping up! HBK goes to the top rope and gets the elbow drop! He sets up for Sweet Chin Music and the fans are going INSANE! He goes for it, but Flair is on the apron, only to get knocked down by Michaels! Triple H goes for a clothesline, but he misses and the ref takes it! HBK goes for Sweet Chin Music, but HHH blocks it and hits a DDT. Flair sends Triple H the World Title and he clocks Michaels with it�and the ref slowly gets into position. ONE�TWO�NO!
HHH goes for the Pedigree again, but HBK once again counters, catapulting HHH into the ref, knocking him to the outside. Eric Bischoff comes down to ringside to check on the official as Triple H removes the turnbuckle padding in one of the corners. He looks to toss Michaels in, but HBK blocks in and tosses the champ in! HBK goes for the cover�and Eric Bischoff comes in to count! ONE�TWO�NO!
HHH is now bleeding and Michaels goes after him with deliberate mounted punches in the corner, following a desperation nearfall, with Bischoff showing NO bias whatsoever! HHH gets a desperation facebuster and goes for the cover, but Michaels will not die! HHH comes off the 2nd rope onto Michaels, but HBK gets his boot up, but gets whipped into the corner with the exposed steel. HHH charges�INTO SWEET CHIN MUSIC~! Michaels collapses on top of Triple H, ONE�TWO�THREE!!!!! At 29:11.
Winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Shawn Michaels!
Eric Bischoff gets on the mic and declares Triple H to STILL BE THE CHAMPION! The crowd goes into complete hysterics and Michaels asks Bischoff what he�s talking about�and Bischoff tells him that both men�s shoulders were down. We get the footage and it is indeed true�both men�s shoulders were down from the pinfall and therefore, HHH is still the champion due to the tie.
Upon showing Michaels the footage, he looks absolutely devastated, having wrestled 30 minutes only to have his hard fought moment of glory taken away from him due to a careless mistake on his part. Bischoff then begins joking with Michaels about not being on much of a roll lately (losing in the Raw 10 man tag), causing Michaels to nail him and Flair, who tried to attack from behind. Michaels goes up the ramp�only to be fired by Eric Bischoff for putting his hands on him.
However�The Glass Shatters and Stone Cold Steve Austin comes down to a huge pop! He gets on THE STICK~! and says that he�s back and the Board of Directors have agreed to his terms and conditions. He then re-hires Shawn Michaels and says that he deserves a rematch. He tells Bischoff that there is a �new sheriff in town� before giving his a Stunner to close the show.
Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
My Opinion: Shawn Michaels and Triple H provided unquestionably the best match on Raw this year with this near 30 minute contest. The crowd heat was absolutely off the page for this match as the San Antonio faithful were as vocal and enthusiastic as any arena crowd on Raw for the better part of the year. These are the kinds of matches that give legitimacy to the World Heavyweight Title and this is by far the best match ever contested for that title since its inception in 2002. This match has done more for the World Heavyweight Title than Triple H�s long reigns have, by far.
The match told a great story as Michaels used his wrestling ability to frustrate the champion early on and cause Triple H to make mistakes out of anger. Triple H used his power and strength to capitalize when he could, slowing the match down, but Michaels simply continued to fight back and quicken the pace. HHH once again targeted HBK�s back, but not enough to the point that the nip up would nullify all of those attacks, unlike the SummerSlam 2002 match. The match then went into overdrive as they played up HHH�s well known quad injury, with HHH selling his leg in a subtle, excellent fashion. The Figure Four on HHH is a perfect example of psychology as the move isn�t taken nearly as serious as it has been in the past, but since HHH�s quad injury is so known and he began to sell it, the fans caught onto it and cheered the hold magnificently. Michaels intensity also added to it and the fact that HHH was unable to get to the ropes added to the tension. Flair�s interference at this junction added to the match heat as the fans were finally starting to believe that Michaels did stand a chance at victory here. The slow build paid off as the back and forth action of the punches and chops slowed down towards the end of the match, giving each blow a sense of urgency. The crowd was 100% behind Michaels at this point and they were actually on their feet, sensing the end was coming soon. The ref bump seemed to deflate the crowd, but Michaels kicking out of the belt shot revitalized the crowd and got them even more invested into the match! Bischoff acting as the ref gave the match an even more intense feeling as the crowd seemed to expect some sort of screwjob prior to the three count�so when the three count was administered, the place went INSANE.
The Dusty Finish is unfortunate, although it gave the San Antonio crowd something to cheer for and get behind at first�and will most likely lead to a rematch at the Royal Rumble, which NO DOUBT will build on this match and have the means and ability to be even better. ****
Overall: The swerve with Austin at the end can only mean that Austin is replacing Bischoff as the Raw GM. Giving Austin�s penchant for going over heels while in a position of power, this may not be a good thing.
Still, tonight�s show was definitely carried by the last 35 minutes of the program with the stellar Triple H/Michaels Title match. Everything else on the show was pretty damn forgettable and didn�t advance the storylines much at all.
Do yourself a favor and get a copy of this match if you didn�t watch Raw.
�Til next week,
The Dames, Damian Gonzalez.
Any questions, comments, hate mail, fan mail, anything at all, please send it all to [email protected].
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