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The Dames' Diatribe on WWE Raw - February 9th, 2004
Posted by The Dames on Feb 10, 2004, 08:13
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The Dames� Diatribe on WWE Raw � February 9th, 2004
On Sunday, the day of Smackdown�s No Way Out pay per view event, headlined by Brock Lesnar defending his WWE Title against Eddie Guerrero, I�m actually going to be moving out of state. I�m moving from New York City to Bristol, Connecticut in a life-altering change that will have me being on my own and depending on myself for the first time. For the first few weeks ago, which should last approximately one to two months, I�m going to be staying with a friend while I�m able to save up enough money from my new occupation to obtain my own apartment. Also, in the meantime, I�m going to FINALLY be taking driving lessons as living in New York has allowed me to rely on the transportation system for far too long.
The reason why I�m mentioning this is because of the fact that in the time that I�ll be staying with my friend, I won�t have internet access. Therefore, this will probably be the last Diatribe I�ll be writing for a couple of weeks. I hope to get my own place soon and at that point, I�ll try to make up the weeks that I lost by covering No Way Out and Wrestlemania XX, which I will be attending live.
However, for you guys, the readers�this is a silver lining. Once I do have my own place, I�ll finally have access to TNA again and the TNA Diatribe�s will resume once again.
So, here�s the last Diatribe for at least the next four weeks�
Raw is coming from the Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon tonight, where WWE hasn�t visited in quite some time so hopefully, the crowd will be hot.
And indeed the crowd does pop as Goldberg is the first man out, prepared to have a match against an unknown opponent. Goldberg awaits in the ring�and Vince McMahon�s music hits!
Mr. McMahon comes to the ring with a more exaggerated walk than normal and gets on the microphone. He hypes up the fact that this is the first time he and Goldberg have ever been in the same ring. As the �Asshole� chant begins, Vince McMahon tells Goldberg that his match has been canceled. Before Vince can explain why, the Glass Shatters and Austin drives to the ring to his ATV, to a pop, of course.
Austin confronts Vince for being on Raw, talking down to him as if he isn�t allowed to be on the show whenever he pleases. Apparently, Vince has broken two of Austin�s �laws�. One, he doesn�t belong there and secondly, he�s pissed him off.
Vince addresses the fact that Austin gave Goldberg a front row ticket to No Way Out last week�and knows exactly what Austin meant by �don�t do anything I wouldn�t do�. Therefore, he�s invited someone to Raw who has a vested interest in this and Vince McMahon welcomes Smackdown GM Paul Heyman to the ring!
Heyman power walks to the ring as he usually does and gets on THE STICK~! He�s finally able to address the fact that Austin brought Benoit to Raw, but there isn�t anything he can do about it, unlike what he has to say to Bill Goldberg. Heyman tells Goldberg that he�s not going to allow him to interfere with the No Way Out main event, which he then conveniently plugs and even tosses in a knock at the Raw brand, getting boos from the crowd. Heyman can�t stop Goldberg from using the front row ticket, but he�d better not get involved�because Brock Lesnar will �eat you alive!� Heyman continues to bring on the threats on behalf of Lesnar, but Goldberg snatches Vince McMahon�s mic away and tells Heyman that regardless of what he�s just said, Lesnar is still �Next� and there isn�t a damn thing he can do about it.
Heyman gets offended by the tone Goldberg spoke to him and turns around to mug for the crowd. Goldberg sets up in the corner and SPEARS~! Paul Heyman down! At this point, Austin calls for some beers and begins to celebrate, but Goldberg goes to spear Vince McMahon! Vince actually sidesteps Goldberg and he nails Austin with the Spear! Vince runs away as Goldberg is clearly upset by his error in the ring.
My Two Cents: This was a pretty hot segment which set up a few things nicely, even though it ran a bit long. First off, the obvious issue between Goldberg and Brock Lesnar is being promoted well despite the fact that they are on different shows. It�s clearly heading towards a Wrestlemania match up with a decent amount of build up and I can�t say that the fans aren�t excited for it.
Also, while it might have the detrimental effect of taking away from the actual match itself, the focus is now on the main event at No Way Out and what Goldberg will do on Sunday, making an Eddie Guerrero victory for the WWE Title less of a long shot than it originally appears to be. While this might not account for many fans at all, marketing-wise, this is a smart decision as fans of Goldberg and the Raw brand (amazingly enough, there ARE people who only stick to one brand and their PPV�s) will now be more inclined to order No Way Out.
Austin vs. McMahon is a rumored match for Wrestlemania and if that indeed is the case, they�ve just started the build up to that as well. Throw in the first ever physical altercation between Austin and Goldberg and you�ve got yourself a good segment with a lot of heat.
The Wrestlemania graphic reminds us that the WM XX is only 34 days away now�
After a quick recap of the events in the opening segment, Goldberg approaches Austin in the backstage area to let him know that the spear was accidental. Goldberg is very straight up with him, asking if he should be expecting a Stunner in return. Austin lets him know if he ever decides to give him a Stunner�it won�t be a mistake. Amazingly, Goldberg �can live with that�.
Vince McMahon barges into Eric Bischoff�s office and bitches about Goldberg�s actions, practically blaming them on him. McMahon tells Bischoff that Goldberg is suspended and if he goes to No Way Out at all on Sunday�then Vince is going to take it out on the Raw GM.
Chris Jericho & Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly & Matt Hardy
Match Background: Trish and Jericho�s �relationship� has now been declared as �just friends� two weeks ago. However, Trish was attacked by Kane last week and Jericho came to the rescue, injuring his knee in the process which cost he and Christian a tag title match. As for Molly and Matt Hardy�they haven�t had any interaction at all. They were thrown together for this mixed tag match. Matt Hardy is still winless since jumping to Raw.
The Match: The Matt Facts have officially jumped the shark as they�re just devoid of any cleverness or creativity anymore. �Matt loves getting things for free�? Who the fuck doesn�t?
J.R. & The King wonder if Matt Hardy�s losing streak is a mental issue. This is a mixed tag match where the men will square off with each other and not interact with the women and vice versa.
Jericho and Matt Hardy lock up with Jericho getting the advantage after a quick exchange. Jericho immediately goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Hardy escapes and tags out to Molly. Molly gets in Jericho�s face, looking to slap him, but gets slapped on that fat ass instead. Trish comes in and takes her down amateur style, only for Molly to take her down to the mat. Trish reverses the positioning and gets a backslide for a two count. Trish nails a clotheslines and follows it up with a head scissor takedown. Molly drop toe holds Trish onto the bottom rope and takes over, following it up with a Northern Lights Suplex for two. Trish gets a neckbreaker and looks for a tag to Jericho, which brings Matt Hardy back in. Jericho is in control�but misses an enziguiri. He repeats the spot and knocks Hardy down for two. Jericho goads Hardy into charging at him, elevating up and over the top onto the apron. Jericho knocks Matt down with a springboard dropkick and crotches Molly on the top turnbuckle by leaning on the ropes. Jericho goes for a pescado on Hardy, but Matt moves out of the way, causing Jericho to land on his feet, but re-injuring his knee from last week. Matt tosses Jericho into the steel steps as Trish takes Molly down with her handstand rana.
As the ref checks on Jericho on the outside, Matt Hardy pulls Trish down by her hair while standing on the apron. Christian then comes down and takes out Matt Hardy, allowing Trish to get a victory roll on Molly and pinning the Women�s Champion for the win.
Winners: Chris Jericho & Trish Stratus
My Opinion: Trish and Jericho do work well together in the ring, but once again, this being Raw, the match was pretty short. Trish is definitely learning her craft in the ring and while I doubt she�ll ever be a Bret Hart or Chris Benoit in it, she�s improving her mat skills and kept up with Molly fairly well. I don�t know what the deal is with Jericho though. It seems every time he turns face, he loses a bit of workrate. I wouldn�t be calling a spade a spade if I criticized Randy Orton for re-doing his finish two weeks ago and not commented on Jericho having to perform two enziguiri�s as Matt Hardy just stood there. Christian�s interference does raise some questions, but I�m sure we�ll find out what they mean in a backstage segment of some sort. *1/4.
In the back, Trish checks on Jericho in the training room when she runs into Christian. She asks about his interference and Christian lets her know that he thinks he�s been a jealous dick lately and apologizes. Now that she and Jericho are just friends, he has no reason to be upset. Christian goes to check on Jericho�but lets Trish know that she �really looks good tonight� before walking in, causing the entire crowd to go �ooooooooohhhhhhh�.
While I�m still enjoying this angle, it really has turned into something out of the O.C. If you think about how this angle started and where it�s gone, there really hasn�t been anything great to come out of it yet.
Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade make their return to Raw in a backstage segment�reading the Torrie/Sable issue of Playboy. They�re approached by Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda, who aren�t happy about being passed up by Playboy. They don�t plan on taking this one �lying down�. I can�t take any more of this terrible acting. Earn those paychecks, people. EARN IT. I wish I got a tenth of what those guys made a night just for spouting out unconvincing lines about crap no one cares about.
In the back, Mick Foley is approached by The Coach who wants to know why he�s here. Foley lets him know that Orton has embarrassed him in recent weeks, so Foley wants to return the favor tonight and cost him his IC Title. I appreciate that honesty.
Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair
Match Background: At the Royal Rumble, Ric Flair told Chris Benoit prior to the Rumble match that he wouldn�t win it because he always comes up second best. Benoit proved him wrong by winning the Rumble and jumped to Raw the next night to challenge Flair�s Evolution teammate Triple H for his Mania title shot. Last week, Flair once again reiterated those feelings towards Benoit being second best and tonight, they�re facing each other one on one.
Also, while it may not be mentioned by any of the announcers tonight, Chris Benoit was once a member of the Four Horsemen, alongside Ric Flair.
The Match: The Portland crowd pops for Benoit as he comes down to the ring to face Flair. Footage is shown of last week�s Benoit/Henry match, focusing on the Crippler Crossface that took out Henry�s shoulder. Mark Henry is going to be out of action for the next four months, which is a shame since he was finally being booked correctly.
They lock up in the corner and the CHOPPING begins. Benoit shakes his head at Flair, almost as if to say, �oh no you didn�t�. J.R. talks about Benoit breaking Flair�s record of in-ring time in a Royal Rumble match this year as Benoit takes Flair down with a German suplex and looks to hook in the Crossface, but Flair escapes quickly. Benoit chops away at Flair on the outside, but Flair retaliates and Benoit BUMPS OFF IT ON THE OUTSIDE. They continue to chop each other, but Flair runs back into the ring, only to get backdropped.
Flair nails Benoit with a right hand�and Flair�s chest is busted OPEN from Benoit�s chops. Flair nails Benoit with another punch before going back into the corner for Chop Fest 2004. They knock heads in the corner, causing both men to fall, but Flair is up first and connects with a knee drop to the head. Flair heads to the top rope�but instead of getting thrown off, Benoit gets up and superplexes him HARD. Benoit is ready for the HEADBUTT~! but Flair moves out of the way as we head to commercial!
When we come back, Flair is in control after tossing Benoit into the ring post shoulder first. Flair connects with rights and lefts, but Benoit comes back with chops. Flair cuts that off and starts chopping at him again. They keep trading chops�and an awkward exchange ends in a Flair sleeperhold. Benoit escapes, but Flair gets on him on the mat for a pair of two counts. Flair tosses Benoit into the turnbuckle chest first and looks for a back suplex, but Benoit flips over and hits the Rolling Germans. After the third, Flair grabs the referee and nails Benoit with a low blow to escape Benoit�s grip.
Flair hooks on the Figure Four, which Benoit sells great�but he quickly gets to the ropes. Flair clips Benoit�s leg and looks to go for the Figure Four once again, but Benoit counters it into the CROSSFACE~! for the tap out victory.
Winner: Chris Benoit
My Opinion: This match was very disappointing. It seemed as if most of the transitions were awkward, so they made up for it with excessive chopping and most of that didn�t have the contact that you�d think a chopping contest with these two would have. Had this been Flair of �89, this match would have been phenomenal, but sadly, Flair�s past his prime and couldn�t do enough to make Benoit look good here. *3/4.
After the match, Jim Ross annoys me even more by going off on how Benoit CAN win the big one because he just beat Ric Flair. I don�t ever want to hear that again until Benoit wins the World Title. It seems like EVERY match he�s in now is �The Big One�.
In the interview area backstage, Triple H tells a referee that he wants the Contract Signing to be next.
Eric Bischoff comes down to the ring, joining Benoit, to oversee the contract signing. Triple H comes out next and signs the contract first. Benoit goes to sign it, but before he does, Triple H gets on the microphone and asks him to realize what he�s about to do. Triple H does he what he usually does�blab on and on and on to drive his point home as he talks about Benoit�s dream at winning the World Title at Wrestlemania being just that, a dream. He is �reality�. Triple H seriously takes about 5 minutes to state what I just said in seconds�.and the whole time, the only thing Benoit can do is look at Triple H and shake his head.
Benoit is ready to sign the document when Shawn Michaels� music hits and HBK comes into the ring. Triple H bails immediately, opting to watch this interaction at the bottom of the ramp. HBK tells Benoit that while he respects the fact that he won the Royal Rumble, his business with Triple H isn�t done and he�s so close to �ending it� and will do so at Wrestlemania XX...for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Benoit takes exception to this and gets on the mic to tell Michaels that while he doesn�t want to deny Michaels the chance to finish his business with Triple H, he earned the right to face the champion at Mania�so he will be the one getting the shot at Wrestlemania XX. Michaels answers with a superkick knocking Benoit out and signs the contract himself to a large number of boos.
Triple H just laughs on as he walks back up the ramp�
My Two Cents: As terrible as this situation is, I�m so glad that I heard the large number of boos directed at Shawn Michaels for his actions, which are undeniably selfish here. My biggest concern here isn�t the fact that Triple H is getting out of jobbing to Benoit in a one on one match, nor is it possibly Michaels winning the World Title instead�but that the fans would take to Michaels instead and Benoit�s push would suffer because of it.
Ever since I heard of the Triple Threat rumors for Wrestlemania, I�ve been worried that the fanbase would be split between Michaels and Benoit and Benoit would be cheated out of the moment that he�s earned. I thought the angle was done well in order to weasel Michaels into the match, but I still think that it�s completely unnecessary. The best thing they can do at this point is have a call back to Wrestlemania X and have Benoit face Michaels in the first match at Mania and the winner faces Triple H later on that night and defeats him.
Besides�Michaels has HAD his fucking shot against Triple H and not only that�he BEAT Triple H for the World Heavyweight Title at last year�s Survivor Series! What more could he want?
When the show returns from commercial, King tells J.R. that this looks like a conspiracy between HHH and HBK to him, but J.R. thinks that HBK is simply following Austin�s advice from a few weeks ago. They�re interrupted by Kane�s pyro as he�s up next�
Kane vs. The Hurricane
Match Background: There isn�t a real reason why these two are facing each other now, but they were tag champs together at one point.
The Match: Hurricane goes after Kane with rights and then gets out of dodge quickly. He goads Kane to go to the outside and gets some shots in there, but back in the ring, Kane connects with a big boot. Kane follows it up with a side slam and a chokeslam to end it quickly.
Winner: Kane
My Opinion: A total squash. DUD.
After the match, Kane goes to light his pyro�but nothing happens. He�s clearly upset by this and tries it again. Nothing happens. The crowd chants �Taker� as Kane gets upset and does it one last time and finally gets the pyro off. However, the lights turn blue and another Undertaker video airs. This one, though�states that in 34 days �the Dead will rise�Again� as footage of the Dead Man Undertaker is shown.
The Wrestlemania Recall tonight is Trish Stratus defeating Victoria last year for the Women�s Title. Shouldn�t this have come before Trish�s match tonight?
In the backstage area, Chris Benoit is PISSED and he�s taking it out on Eric Bischoff. Bischoff tells him that he�s earned the legal right to face Triple H for the World Title at Mania�but the contract reads HBK. So, he�s going to have a legal team look it over, but in the mean time, he�s giving him HBK one on one next week. The crowd reaction for that match is going to be VERY interesting�as well as the result, which will most likely be a Triple H run in on both men.
Terri Runnels is with Randy Orton and she asks him about his concerns for tonight. Orton says that it�s unfair that he�s got to defend his title �this close to Mania�. Plus, he�s worried about Foley because Foley�s made it clear he wants to cost him his IC Title. He calls it a conspiracy and walks away�
Backstage, Goldberg has his ring gear and he�s walking out of the arena when he�s approached by The Coach, who wants to ask him what he�s going to do about being suspended. Goldberg confirms that he�s going to be at No Way Out anyway.
Footage of Raw�s tour of Japan from last week is shown�
Mick Foley comes to the ring and gets on THE STICK~! He starts off by stating that he does NOT want to screw up Orton�s IC Title match tonight. However, he thinks Randy Orton is hiding something since he became obsessed with the �Foley is a coward� concept. Foley digs up a photo of Randy Orton in the Marines�and has it put up on the Titantron. He then talks about Orton going AWOL for 82 days (which is true and was talked about on Confidential last year). The crowd boos appropriately as Foley reveals to the crowd that Orton was kicked out of the Marines for bad conduct and turned his back on his COUNTRY.
Foley addresses Orton�s fixation on his supposed cowardice�and claims that Orton is the real coward, which is why he�s fixated on it. But since Orton is also fixated on being called a legend�Foley challenges him to a match at the only stage a wrestler can become a legend: Wrestlemania.
Orton gets on the tron himself and says that he can�t accept that�since Foley might walk out at MSG. Orton wants Foley to prove that he�s not a coward right now�by facing him RIGHT NOW backstage in the catering area. Foley leaves the ring and heads towards the back, looking for the catering section. He eventually finds it�but also finds Flair and Batista there to confront him.
Foley doesn�t care and charges at Orton anyway, but the odds are too much. Batista puts Foley through the catering table�and Orton is there afterwards to slap Foley in the face several times.
Hey�when was the last time we had a WRESTLING MATCH on a WRESTLING SHOW that lasted more than a minute tonight? Oh�an hour ago? You don�t say.
Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T for the Intercontinental Title
Match Background: RVD and Booker didn�t earn this shot�they were just given a shot. Orton defeated RVD for the title at Armageddon and has since successfully defended it against him and Booker on several occasions. All 3 men have held the IC Title.
The Match: Booker is STILL using that shitty WWE Originals music and it�s completely throwing off his pyro and entrance.
Orton bails from the ring immediately and Booker follows, nailing with him right hands and a clothesline on the outside before tossing him in for RVD. RVD hits a spinning legdrop and gets a nearfall�but Booker�s back in the ring now and they go at it for a bit. Booker nails RVD with a hard flying forearm and a side kick for a two count as Orton rests on the outside. Booker sets up for the scissors kick, but Orton pulls him to the outside�only to get beat up again.
RVD nails Booker T when Booker comes back in and connects with hard kicks in the corner. RVD monkey flips Booker over and hits a suplex with a floatover for two. Booker comes back with a HARD knee to the midsection and chops away at RVD in the corner. RVD gets a kick off the 2nd rope and hits a moonsault for a broken up two count as Orton comes back into the ring. He nails Booker with a DDT, but the cover is broken up by RVD.
RVD and Orton tangle it up now with Orton getting the advantage with Euro uppercuts. Orton continues to beat on RVD for a nearfall as Booker lays on the apron. RVD hits a step over heel kick and everyone is down. Orton gets up and charges at RVD, who catches him�for Booker T to kick. RVD and Booker T tangle up again in the corner and RVD hits a frog splash off the 2nd rope for two. RVD connects with a superkick and hits Rolling Thunder for a broken up two. Orton pulls RVD out of the ring and hits a standing dropkick on the floor, leaving Booker T prone for the pin. Orton covers, but Booker kicks out.
They get it on with Orton countering Booker T with a neckbreaker for two. Orton is ready and looks for the RKO but Booker shoves him away and goes for a back suplex. At the apex of it, RVD jumps off the top onto both of them for a big crash as all three men are down! RVD goes for the cover on Orton and gets a CLOSE two count. RVD goes for the cover on Booker and gets a two count as well.
RVD looks for a monkey flip on Orton, but gets shoves to the outside. Booker T capitalizes on this and hits the scissors kick on Orton in the middle of the ring! He goes for the cover but RVD jumps back in to save it at the very last minute! RVD hits the Five Star Frogsplash on Booker T, but Orton shoves him out of the ring and steals the pinfall!
Winner: Randy Orton
My Opinion: RVD and Booker T did most of the work in this match and it was entertaining for the most part, even though I could care less if either man won the IC Title. They�re beyond the title, but they�ll never actually get anywhere past it. Orton stayed on the outside for a majority of the match, but once he got involved, there was a lot more heat for the pinfalls as the fans always want the champion to be the one pinned in triple threats. Outside of the two cooperative spots with Booker and RVD, this wasn�t anything special, but still better than anything else on the show. **1/4
After the match, Flair and Batista come into the ring to congratulate Orton. Foley stumbled onto the ramp and walks down, challenging Orton to come after him. Orton goes to the outside and hits the RKO on Foley on the floor as Flair and Batista beat on Booker T and RVD just because they can as the show comes to a close.
Overall: I really didn�t care for this show. Benoit�s getting screwed out of a one on one main event at Mania really cheapens his Royal Rumble victory. There was barely any wrestling on tonight�s broadcast and we went almost an entire hour without a two minute stretch of wrestling. That�s just terrible and unacceptable, especially when Mania time is near. The Benoit/Flair match was underwhelming and other than the first segment and the Undertaker video, the crowd didn�t seem to have much to pop for at all.
I do, on the other hand, appreciate the fact that the IC Title has been featured as the main event more lately, but that alone isn�t reason enough to care for the belt. When the challengers themselves don�t seem to give a damn, why should we?
Overall, I�m disappointed with this show, but hopefully next week�s Benoit/HBK match will be something to remember. I wish I had a better show to go out on.
I honestly don�t have a set date as to when The Dames� Diatribe will return, but hopefully, it won�t be past the 1st of April.
�Til next time�
The Dames, Damian Gonzalez
All feedback should be sent to [email protected].
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