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TNA
Raw from JHawk's Beak (5/3/2004)
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on May 3, 2004, 22:23
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Raw from JHawk's Beak (5/3/2004)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
It's been a long week. New moderators in the Forums, the final round of the TSM Mat Madness II tournament in full gear, and on top of that, my Hotmail account is acting all screwy so I couldn't actually read my e-mail until earlier today. Add all that to my fantasy baseball team completely sucking ass and it's been fun fun fun I tell ya.
But we have a huge night ahead of us, as I'm actually looking forward to tonight's show. So grab some caffeine or alcohol or whatever your poison of choice may be and join us.
Forums Quote of the Week: News that Billy Bob Thornton is slated to paly the Walter Matthau role in a remake of The Bad News Bears sparked some interesting conversation among the posters:
2Gold: This remake is going to suck.
Billy Bob is fine and dandy, but you aren't going to find the right group of kids to play the roles.
Not to mention that it will probably end with them winning because movies cannot end badly anymore. It's depressing. WE MUST BE HAPPY AND UPLIFTING!
El Satanico: How hard can it be to go hire a bunch of unknown child actors. I don't see what was so special about the original kids that can't be captured again.
DrVenkman: Yeah, but, you just know that's not what they'll do.
"Bad News Bears, starring Billy Bob Thorton, Hillary Duff, Bow'Wow, That stupid kid from JErry McGuire, And etc.!"
My only thought: We at least get to keep the fat kid, right? Or is that too politically incorrect in this day and age too?
Tonight: Hopefully this will be a final encounter with a clean finish, as Chris Benoit defends the World Hravyweight Championship against Shawn Michaels. Of course, it will likely end with Triple H interfering because he's Triple H, dammit! Also, we further the supposed end of Evolution that's been mentioned by JR and The King for weeks even though nobody else has done anything to build toward it.
Segment 1
Tonight, the Showdown in the Desert: Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels for the World Heavyweight Championship. A nice video package to make the main event seem like a big deal.
LIVE from the America West Arena in Phoenix, Arizona! Good Ol' JR and The King will bring you that incredible main event! But first...
Six Man Tag Team Contest scheduled for one fall: Evolution (Hungry Hungry Hippos, Batista, and Randy Orton--Intercontinental Champion) vs. All About Shelton Benjamin, Tajiri Yoshihiro, and Edge--World Tag Team Champion)
And this is the OPENER! Wow. Chad Patton is your referee as Triple H and Benjamin start. Hunter immediately tags Orton, who gets taken down with a series of armdrags. Hard clothesline. Going to the left arm, and a tag to Tajiri. Tajiri counters a hiptoss with an armdrag and continues the work on Orton's left arm. Front facelock by Orton and a tag to Hunter, who is booed mercilessly. Tajiri ducks a clothesline and takes Hunter down with a spinning heel kick. Edge tags in. Chain wrestling sequence ending in a stalemate. And again. And again, but Edge follows it with a right hand. Hunter with knees to the midsection, and a tag to Orton. European uppercut. Chokehold. Edge reverses a corner whip and clotheslines Orton. Orton with a thumb to the eye, and he targets Edge's broken left hand. Tag to Batista, who takes Edge down with a running powerslam for 2. Illegal switch to bring Triple H in, and they triple team Edge behind the distracted referee. Hunter continues to target the left arm by ramming it into the ringpost. In the ring, and Hunter focuses on the arm. Tag to Batista. A series of shoulderblocks to the midsection, then back to the left arm. Tag to Triple H as the hot crowd tries to rally behind Edge. They exchange punches, with Edge getting the best of it, but he telegraphs a backdrop, and Hunter gets a facebuster. Cover, and Benjamin in for the save. Edge catches Triple H coming with a spinning heel kick, and both men are down. Hot tag to Tajiri, who kicks away at Triple H. Handspring elbow. Shots to Orton and Batista, and the DDT to Triple H. This time it's Batista with the save. Tajiri goes for the handspring elbow to Batista, but Batista levels him with a clothesline. Both legal men are down.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Good stuff so far. Plenty of focus on the weak point of Edge, the broken left arm. Good tag team strategy, with the heels trying to keep one of their opponents in the corner while tagging fresh men in and out. Solid, basic strategy, and the crowd has been completely into the match so far.
Segment 2
Orton drags Tajiri away from the corner. Standing dropkick for 2. Batista tagged in, and he uses a series of forearms to the back. Shoulderblocks and more forearms to the back. Boot choke. Hunter with an elbow over the apron as Batista distracts the referee. Batista covers, and Tajiri reaches the ropes for the save. Another cover, and this time Tajiri has to kick out. Triple H in, and Tajiri counters into a backslide for 2. Front facelock by Hunter and a tag to Orton, who pounds away at Tajiri. Chinlock. Reverse chinlock. Did Lawler just claim Bob Orton Sr. was a World Champion? For which territory? Tajiri with elbows to the midsection. Sunset flip, Orton sits down, and Tajiri bridges out of the pin attempt and levels Orton with a kick. Damn! Hot tag to Edge, who catches Orton with a series of right hands before DDTing an incoming HHH and knocking Batista out of the ring. Clothesline for Orton and Hunter. Edge goes for the spear, but in comes Batista to clothesline him down. Benjamin goes after Batista and clotheslines him over the top rope. Hunter clotheslines Benjamin outside the ring. Orton goes for the RKO, but Edge throws him into one of Tajiri's kicks. Orton backdrops Edge over the top. Batista goes for the Sitout Power Bomb on Tajiri, but Tajiri counters with the green mist. Orton checks on Batista, then turns right into Edge's spear for the pin at 17:36. Hot start, hot finish, but way too much chaos near the end. **1/2
COMMERCIAL BREAK
I'm certainly not going to fault the storytelling of the match or the action itself. Everybody worked really hard here, but two things struck me as odd. One, shouldn't there have been a double disqualification well before the pinfall since everybody and their dog was in the ring for about three minutes? And two, where the hell was Shelton Benjamin for the last 15 minutes? Shouldn't he have maybe gotten the last hot tag? Maybe even pinned Orton since they supposedly want to run with Benjamin vs. Orton for the Intercontinental Title?
Segment 3
Don't forget that main event.
Coach is backstage with Garrison Cade to insult the women of Phoenix. As Cade discusses the Midwest hotties he brought with him, in comes Mr. McAsshole, who's apparently here for the World Heavyweight Title match. Vince McMahon...a Canadian World Heavyweight Champion...Shawn Michaels the challenger...does this sound familiar to anybody else? Vince essentially promises "pure artform" with the main event, but he did put both men over.
SmackDown Rebound hyping this past Thursday's show. Last night in El Paso, Texas at a house show, Eddy Guerrero brought his family into the ring, and apparently his mother had a heart attack. Something to do with Bradshaw, apparently, but there's no footage shown or any real explanation given.
Triple H complains to Eric Bischoff that he was wasting his time out there when he's wrestling six man tags instead of title matches. Batista wants Tajiri as Johnny Monday Nitro (did Orton call him "Johnny Oversell" or am I hearing things?) comes in and whispers something to Bischoff, presumably that Vince is here. Bischoff signs Tajiri vs. Batista, Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin, and Randy Orton vs. Edge for the Intercontinental Championship, all for next week's Raw.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Vince McMahon did a nice job helping to hype tonight's main event. He put both men over as legit threats as well as competitors, and essentially promised we'd get a great wrestling match, emphasis on the wrestling. Just give me a clean finish with no run-ins, that's all I ask.
And while I never have liked the backstage segment as a whole, this one in Bischoff's office did exactly what they should do -- build to future events. In this case, we already know four matches that are going to be taking place on next week's show (don't forget Eugene vs. Rob Conway). Building to future shows in a logical matter is always the best way to do things, and now fans can decide for themselves whether the show is worth the effort to watch it before it's ever started.
Segment 4
One fall: Rob Conway (w/Sylvain Grenier) vs. The Hurricane (w/Rosey)
Notice that Grenier never seems to wrestle or do anything of note? Chain wrestling to start, with Conway getting an elbow and a forearm in to break the sequence. Hurricane with a roll up for 2. Leapfrog, but Conway counters the second with an inverted atomic drop. Swinging neckbreaker and a series of overhand rights. Modified hangman by Conway. Hurricane with a couple of punches. Kick by Conway, but he runs into a flying clothesline. Missing the shining black, and Conway Hotshots him into the top rope. Conway goes for the tag forgetting it's a singles match, but he quickly uses the whiplash (starting off in a slingshot suplex, but using a swinging neckbreaker with he's draped on the top rope) for the pin at 3:09. 1/2* Postmatch, Conway tells Eugene that next week, Eugene's getting a "special beating".
Here's the Tale of the Tape for the main event. Start it next segment and do a one hour broadway. Yeah, right.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Not really anything of substance here. The idea was to put Conway over to make him strong for the match with Eugene next week, so we stuck The Hurricane into the role of Israel Matia for this match. A bit more offense for Hurricane would have been nice. Grand Master Sexay in that spot would have been even nicer.
Segment 5
Over the past few weeks, we've seen a disturbing side of Kane. Here's a look at the kiss from last week.
One fall: Kane vs. Steven Richards
Kane attacks Richards before the lights even come up, and if you expected Richards to put up any kind of effort then you're sadly mistaken. A Choke Slam finishes things in 36 seconds. You can't give it any rating other than a DUD. And Kane runs to the back as Lawler tells us Matt Hardy is on the Highlight Reel next.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
What do you want me to say about that? Kane's a monster, he wins quickly, next segment please. Hell, this is how they should have been building him up since they screwed up the Shane McMahon feud.
Segment 6
Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel!
Jericho starts off by saying the World Title Match is the true "Highlight of the Night" this evening. He feels it's been too long since he's had a title shot, so he issues a challenge to the winner. "There's a new challenger waiting in the wings, and it's not H-H-H, it's Y-2-J!" He then introduces us to his guest, Matt Hardy v.1.0, but not before saying he thinks Hardy's trying to reconcile with Lita. Matt Facts: "Matt believes in karma" and "Matt is not afraid of pain." Hardy gets straight to the point: He's had problems and made mistakes, but he's only human. The only thing he can do is try to rectify those mistakes. If that means fighting Kane, then so be it. But he's out here to talk about Lita. And he wants her to come to the ring to say something face-to-face. Because this went so well last time. Lita comes up on the Titantron and claims she never loved Matt and has found somebody else. "I never want to see you again, Matt. Never. I need you to stay away from me." She looks to the side and says she can't do this, then begs for Matt to come to the basement, because Kane has her tied up down there. Of course, Matt is blinded by love...or lust or something...and he storms off to the back. Jericho seems confused, but never fear, because here comes Christian, Trish the Bitch, and Tyson Tomko. Last week, Jericho put his hands on Christian and the "little angel" Trish, thus making himself a problem. And as you know, Tomko's a problem solver. Tomko storms the ring, and we've got a fight on our hands. Christian runs in and gets nailed, and that's enough for Tomko to get in a big boot and ram Jericho's shoulder into the ringpost. Choke lift, and down he goes, and Christian takes advantage of the situation and pounds away at Jericho. Tomko holds Jericho for Christian, then keeps hold of him for Trish to get in a kick to the balls. Christian with the Unprettier, then mocking Jericho's one foot cover.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
I don't know whether I like this Kane-Hardy-Lita triangle or not, but it's certainly creepy. At least Kane has finally stepped up to raping live women. However, it's time to find a way to finish the Jericho-Christian-Trish feud. Hey, let's make it 3-on-1 now to draw this out another few months. Unless they plan on pushing somebody by having him help Jericho in this feud, I think this one has about run its course.
Segment 7
During the break, Matt Hardy found Lita. Nothing like a vulnerable woman in your arms, eh Matt?
Non-Title Match scheduled for one fall: Gail Kim (w/Molly Holly) vs. Victoria (WWE Women's Champion)
Kim hopes nobody's feeling sorry for Lita because she got what she deserved. She can talk! Knee to the midsection by Kim. Corner whip and an elbowsmash. Victoria reverses a corner whip and takes Gail down with...um...I guess that's a new version of a press slam. Standing moonsault, and Molly prevents the three count. The distraction leads to a dropkick by Kim, and Gail is in control. Molly gets in cheap shots when Kim has referee Jack Doan distracted. Elbow for 2. Faceslam. Using the knee to rams Victoria's face to the mat, and into a form of the sleeperhold. Dragon sleeper. Reverse chinlock. Victoria breaks with elbows but runs into a clothesline. Kick to the chest. Dragon sleeper. Victoria breaks with some knees and gets a kick to the chest. Distraction by Molly, but Kim charges and runs into a Hotshot. Victoria in control. Right hand, and how the hell do you do a back bump off a kick to the midsection, Gail? Gail gets that armbar/headscissors combo in, and Victoria is forced to tap at 6:13. I liked what they were going for, but this was sloppy as hell. 3/4*
We can't wait for that main event, which is just a few segments away.
This week, Eugene Dinsmore has been training with William Regal and Dr. Tom Prichard all week. Regal essentially says he's going to stretch him and get rid of him forever.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Hey, I like the attempt to add a new challenger into the Women's Title chase, and that submission move Gail Kim is using is sweet as all hell. But as soon as this got halfway decent, something would just not look quite right, and that killed any momentum they were building. I don't need to be in the business to know that you don't fall on your back when you get kicked in the gut. People have lost jobs in worse promotions than this for less.
Segment 8
Vinnie Mac is in the skybox. At least he's not at ringside.
Back to the training center in Stamford. Regal wants to teach Eugene an armdrag. Regal shows him, and that hurts a bit. Eugene insists he can do it, and he does...and Regal looks shocked. Into the montage of different moves, each one looking crisp. Funny bit where Eugene points a Triple H water bottle at Regal before doing a Triple H impression. Regal wants to see some chain wrestling, and it's all Eugene, who breaks out an airplane spin before making Regal tap to an STF. JR and Lawler are impressed, and next week, Eugene makes his TV debut against Rob Conway. Plus, Batista vs. Tajiri. Shelton Benjamin vs. Triple H Mark III. And Randy Orton defends the Intercontinental Championship against Edge.
Cue Eric Bischoff's music, and he and Johnny Nitro are on the ramp. And if you thought that was something, check this one out. Christian vs. Chris Jericho, but it's not just any other match. The war will finally be settled without any interference, because next week it will be inside a steel cage. Wow! What a fucking lineup!
But you don't have to wait until next week for a World Heavyweight Title match. It's next! Cue that opening video package again!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Now let's see if they'll actually let Nick Dinsmore use some of those moves in actual matches. If they do, this gimmick might just work.
And we add another match to next week's show, and hopefully this is the final chapter of the Jericho-Christian feud. There's really not much else you can do once you've gone the route of wrestling in a steel cahge. But remember, WWE Creative, you flat out said there'd be no interference, which is the entire point of the steel cage. Remember that next week.
Segment 9
One fall for the World Heavyweight Championship: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit (champion)
JR puts over both men's accomplishments. Lockup, into the corner, clean break. Lockup, into the corner, and Mike Chioda physically forces the break. Another lockup, again into the corner, and another break. HBK throws the first punch, and this is turning into a brawl already. Headlock takedown by HBK, and Benoit tries to rolls HBK to his shoulders but can't. Shoulderblock by HBK. Headlock takedown, and he has that headlock hooked on tight. Into the corner, and forget the clean break, as HBK uses a chop. Forearm. Corner whip, but HBK runs into a boot. Clothesline by Benoit. BAAAAAAAAACK bodydrop. And a huge clothesline sends HBK over the top rope to the floor. HBK to the apron, and Benoit with a forearm. In the ring, and Benoit with a snap suplex for 2. Backbreaker for 2. Chop. Whip, but Benoit telegraphs a headlock and gets taken down with a swinging neckbreaker. Elbow to the back of the neck. Now keep working on it. Forearm smash. Benoit fights back with forearms of his own. Flying clothesline by HBK. OK, Shawn, nip up. There you go. Benoit goes for the Crossface, but HBK rolls out of it. And again, And Benoit runs into a forearm smash, and both men are down...
COMMERCIAL BREAK
...and they didn't even tell JR they were going to break. Decent so far, but they can't seem to decide whether they want this to be a scientific wrestling match or an all-out fight. One minute it's real intense, and the next they're exchanging counters. And just when it seemed like HBK was going to target Benoit's neck, he went completely away from it.
Segment 10
HBK with an abdominal stretch. JR claims HBK's focus is the lower back, thanks to a hard corner whip during the break, as well as Benoit's back hitting the ring apron. Benoit breaks the hold with a hiptoss but misses an elbowdrop. Hard vertical suplex. Cover, and Benoit grabs the bottom rope to prevent the pin. Knees to the back by HBK. Chop, but Benoit fighting back, and they begin trading blows. HBK with another hard corner whip. Cover for 2. Back suplex for 2. Irish whip, and HBK ducks his head, leading to an inside cradle for 2. Backslide for 2. Oklahoma roll for 2. HBK with an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline to regain the advantage. Bodyslam, and the crowd seems mixed but with a slight majority favoring HBK. Up top for the flying elbowdrop, but he doesn't go for the cover, and instead tunes up the band. Benoit ducks the Sweet Chin Music and goes into the rolling Germans. Benoit slow to get up, but he signals for the diving headbutt...but he sees HBK getting up and stops short. Release German, and this time Benoit does go up top...and he misses the Swan Dive Headbutt anyway. Both men down. HBK with a delayed cover for a near fall. HBK heading up top this time, but Benoit is there to stop him with a right hand and some chops. HBK falls to the apron as Benoit continues the assault. Benoit tries to suplex him back in, but HBK suplexes Benoit to the floor instead. HBK up top...moonsault bodyblock to the floor! Wow! Benoit pulls HBK's tights to keep him on the floor, but HBK sends Benoit into the ringpost and rolls back in the ring...and Chioda stops the ten count! That's not the fucking rule! And Benoit is busted open.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
And once we get some good storytelling with all the back work coming back from the break, we haven't seen it at all in at least five minutes. And why tease the double countout if Chioda is simply going to stop counting. I mean, it wasn't even a restart of the count. He restarted the count briefly, then didn't count for about the last 30 seconds they were on the air. I want to see a clear winner and I appreciate that it didn't end on a countout, but would having HBK actually break the count be that hard?
Segment 11
HBK with a sleeperhold. Benoit breaks it with a back suplex. HBK with a dropkick for 2. The old school side suplex that he used as a finisher in 1992 gets 2. I don't think I've seen him use that since 1992. Benoit into the German suplex for 2. An exchange of chops, with Benoit gaining the advantage. Michaels blocks a kick and goes into an elevated crab (think old school Lion Tamer here). Benoit rolls to alleviate the leverage and reaches the ropes. HBK with an elbowdrop. Chops. Benoit reverses a corner whip, then locks in the Crippler Crossface. HBK eventually reaches the ropes. Benoit goes right back to the Crossface, and Michaels reaches the ropes again. Sweet Chin Music is blocked, and Benoit goes for the sharpshooter, but Michaels gets to the ropes before Benoit can turn him over. He goes for it again, but HBK kicks him away...and into Mike Chioda. Dammit! Michaels to his feet first, and he takes Benoit down with Sweet Chin Music. Michaels crawls to the cover, and here comes Triple H with the fucking Pedigree. The one damn thing I begged them not to do and they fucking did it anyway! And Triple H sits in the crowd like nothing happened. Benoit crawls into the cover, and he gets the pin at 28:29. Really good match with a shitty ending. ***3/4
END OF SHOW
I'm going to explain this match rating here, since I know that various aspects of this are going to be disagreed on, and it's going to seem odd considering how I rated the first match between them. You'll recall that I gave their first meeting **** live. Admittedly, I saw that match again a few days ago to hype myself up for this one, and I didn't enjoy it as much the second time around. I still enjoyed it and would have gone about ***1/2 or so with it, but it didn't hold up as well. This one told a better story (HBK didn't always stay on the back, and it didn't play into the finish, but he was working on it late in the match) and the pacing was a bit better. But the back work didn't factor into the finish, the cut on Benoit's forearm didn't come into play, and the finish sucked, as it completely takes away from any momentum Benoit could have gained with a victory. Can Benoit win a singles match against HBK without interference? The message right now is that he can't. Just too many glaring flaws for me to rate this one higher even though I probably enjoyed it more than their first meeting overall.
And overall, a pretty good Raw overall. Sure, there was some crap (I'm looking at the women's division in particular with that one), but you got a decent opener with a good main event, with plenty of storyline advancement that mostly made sense. Well, except for the Kane-Hardy-Lita story. What does Kane want with Lita again? Still, you've actually got a full lineup to look forward to for next week, and you're probably going to get at least two good or better matches out of it if done rigt.
Thumbs up overall, with potential for even better next week.
Join Peter on Thursday for SmackDown, and until then, drop me a line.
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