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TNA
The Royal Treatment: Smackdown (5.27.04)
Posted by Peter Kostka on May 28, 2004, 01:06
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Nothing really to plug or talk about this week, so we�ll get right to my final SD recap of the month of May.
We start off with a recap of Eddie Guerrero fainting at the end of last week�s show. Mr. Angleappears and notes that as WWE champ, Eddie has certain obligations to the WWE and its fans, so he will be in action tonight. However, since Angle has an obligation to Eddie since he is the GM, EMTs will be at ringside �when�oops, I mean IF Eddie collapses.�
Previously recorded in Milwaukee, Wisconsin (the land of beer, bratwurst, and cheese, your arteries� worst nightmare). Michael Cole (hyperbole�s worst nightmare) and Tazz call the action.
Coming up tonight: John Cena defends the US title against Rene Dupree in a lumberjack match.
Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio vs. the Dudley Boys
Cole notes that this is a �classic rivalry.� Haven�t they had, like, two matches? Buh Buh bullies around Rey to start, shoving him around and taunting Rey about his size. Rey wants a test of strength, but it�s all a clever ruse to stomp on Buh Buh�s foot. Rey goes for the arm, but Buh Buh counters into a hammerlock, which Rey counters into a snapmare, but Buh Buh ditches the matwork and javelins Rey across the ring. He works the arm, but Rey kicks the knee to break and takes him down with an armdrag and a spinkick for 2. D�Von and RVD tag in and D�Von sends RVD into the corner, but he runs into an elbow and RVD rolls him up and hits a standing moonsault for a pair of two counts. Rey tags in and springboards D�Von to death before countering a Buh Buh powerbomb with a hurricanrana. He sets up D�Von for the 619, but Buh Buh clips the knee. Suddenly, Buh Buh notices Paul Heyman coming down through the crowd to ringside, and we take a break.
The Dudleys are in control as we come back, taking turns working over Rey. Rey goes for a sunset flip, and scoots away from a Buh Buh buttsplash, but Buh Buh locks in a single leg crab, grabbing D�Von�s hand for leverage. He tags in and continues pounding on the knee, but Rey gets an enziguri and a springboard moonsault. He goes to tag, but D�Von holds his leg and tags in Buh Buh, who drops an elbow on Rey and tags D�Von back in. They try a double team, but D�Von misses a corner splash and Buh Buh is taken down as Rey makes the tag to RVD. RVD unleashes the Kicks of Fury on D�Von, and goes for the pin, but Buh Buh breaks it up. RVD knocks him out of the ring and hits a northern lighs suplex on D�Von, but it only gets 2. RVD slams him and tags Rey, who adds a Drop the Dime to the Rolling Thunder from RVD, but Buh Buh saves again. The faces take Buh Buh out, and Rey hits the 619 on D�Von. He goes for the Pop, but Heyman suddenly appears at ringside and yanks him off the apron. Buh Buh presses Rey onto the announce table and Heyman rolls him in for D�Von to make the cover and get the win at 15:21. Heyman leaves with the Dudleys as security follows.
Rating: 6/10
Thoughts: It is becoming clear to me that the Dudleys work better as heels rather than faces. At least, Buh Buh seems to be much better that way; there isn�t much of a difference, face or heel, in D�Von that I can see. And why not put the tag titles on Rey and RVD? It�s not like they have any OTHER ideas for them, and we�d probably get some better matches out of it than the current champs. Match was sound because of the heels� picking apart of the weaker face (it may be formulaic, but it�s a formula that works) and Rey can take a beating like a champ.
- Commercials �
- In the back, the Dudleys celebrate their win. Paul Heyman joins them and slaps some sense into D�Von. Buh Buh looks to tear his head off, but Heyman points out that they beat Eddie Guerrero and didn�t get a shot at the main event. They will get nothing until they �make an impact.� �If you can�t do it, I will find someone else who will make an impact, on YOU.�
Thoughts: Ok, I officially have NO idea where they are taking this whole thing with Heyman. It will be interesting to find out, though.
- Michael Cole is in the ring, and he announces that Mr. Angle has named John Bradshaw Layfield the #1 contender for the WWE title at the Great American Bash. JBL heads to the ring for some promo time and we take a look at the Judgment Day chairshot, followed by again showing Eddie�s collapse last week, and JBL pinning him. The people Cole talked to were appalled that JBL would take advantage like that, and asks �what kind of a man are you?� JBL promptly puts Cole in his place and Cole scurries to safety. He�s a smart, and very rich, businessman; he saw an opportunity and took it, that�s why CNBC loves him and his radio show is popular (he has a radio show?) He took advantage of an injured man, which doesn�t make him weak; the country is weak because they fell for Eddie faking an injury to get out of a beating and taking the coward�s way out. The beating he gave Eddie at Judgment Day is now �legendary�, but what he will do to him at GAB will be �damn near criminal.� A loud �Eddie� chant interrupts him, but JBL notes that Eddie cheated and used the WWE title to get himself disqualified. That won�t happen at the Bash, because Mr. Angle has allowed JBL to pick a stipulation, which he will reveal next week.
Thoughts: I�m guessing it will be a no-DQ match or something. I just hope they don�t mask Bradshaw�s ring woes with madcap violence, since Eddie didn�t exactly come out of the last match smelling like roses.
- Commercials -
Booker T vs. Scotty 2 Hotty
Apparently the fans in Toronto are privileged enough that we will see a JD rematch between Booker and Taker next week on Smackdown. Booker controls the opening portion of the match until he runs into a boot, but he quickly recovers and finishes Scotty with the scissors kick for the pin at 1:45. Booker grabs the mic and says that he still isn�t scared of Taker, but the lights go out and the smoke fills the ring while lightning hits all four corners. �All right, so you are a little scary� says Booker, but he guarantees victory next week.
Rating: None
Thoughts: Yet another very boring squash for Booker. I guess next week will be the end of this little feud and both guys will move on to something different. At least, I HOPE that happens.
Coming up next: Eddie Guerrero is in action. The EMTs head down to ringside as we go to break.
- Commercials -
- Mordecai promo. He�s apparently found his first sinner to dispose of.
Danny Basham (w/Doug Basham) vs. Eddie Guerrero (non-title match)
Eddie tips over the stretcher and runs off the EMTs before entering the ring and dumping both Bashams. Mr. Angle�s music hits and he rises up out of his usual spot. Angle realized that he also had a legal obligation to Eddie and all Eddie was going to do was fake another injury and sue. That�s not going to happen because Eddie can�t wrestle until he signs a waiver clearing Angle of any liability if Eddie gets hurt again.
Rating: None
Thoughts: There�s a discussion on the forums about the WWE�s most tired clich�s, and the �Wrestler X must sign a waiver to compete� clich� is one that, while not used as often, is still fairly annoying. You would think that Eddie would already have a reason to sue since Angle didn�t keep him out of the match last week and he collapsed.
- Commercials �
Next week, we will see a Summer Breakout T&A Fest��.oops, I mean �Bikini Contest� with all four of the Smackdown Divas (Torrie vs. Dawn vs. Miss Jackie vs. the returning Sable). Wait a minute; there are only FOUR on the whole show? Well, five including Jacqueline, I guess.
Torrie Wilson and Spike Dudley vs. Dawn Marie and Jamie Noble
Wow�..Noble sure has sunk fast. Guess he blew through that money pretty quick. The guys start off with some nice matwork, focusing on the arm, and Noble drops a leg for a two count. Spike ducks a clothesline and hits a dropkick, following up with the Spike Stomp in the corner. Noble goes to tag out, but Dawn is less than enthused to be in the ring with Spike, but tags in when Torrie comes in. Wait�..Cole and Tazz just said that the men can�t wrestle the women in this match. Someone (Cole, I�ll bet) got their signals mixed up. They also brought up Al Wilson, which is a memory everyone wants to just FORGET. Torrie dominates Dawn and hits a dropkick to get a two count, but Noble knees her in the back to stop the momentum and Spike chases him around ringside. In the ring, Dawn gets a faceslam for 2 and we hit the chinlock. Torrie counters with a jawbreaker and spears her, but Dawn stops it. Torrie kicks her off and the guys come back in and Spike hits a headscissors and hits a double stomp off the top, but Dawn breaks the pin. Torrie comes in and DDTs her, but Noble grabs her and Spike makes the save. Torrie slaps Noble over to Spike and he hits the Dudley Dog for the pin at 5:11.
Rating: 3/10
Thoughts: Well, when the guys were in there, it was chugging along just fine, but there�s a reason there isn�t a women�s title on Smackdown, you know. I still don�t get why they don�t use guys like Spike and Noble more often, except on Velocity, which probably 25% of the audience actually watches.
- Commercials �
- Promo for the �Bronze Warrior� Kenzo Suzuki. Jeez, he won�t be around more than 2 months, debut the guy already.
- In the locker room, Miss Jackie gives the tag champs a sneak preview of her outfit for next week. Charlie Hass looked satisfied, but Rico points out that �the color just isn�t you� and tells her to try on �the other one� and slaps Hass in the ass to get his attention. Rico wants to join in on the fun and shows Hass his bikini, but Hass doesn�t think it is the right color for Rico, and he should try on �the other one.� Hass realizes what he is saying and asks �What the hell am I doing?� Uh oh, I think our team is about to lose a player.
- John Cena arrives in Mr. Angle�s office, and Angle is miffed that he pitched the idea that military personnel should get the Great American Bash free to the Board before Angle could. Angle will be proud to have a Frenchman as US champ, and, along with Luthor will be at ringside for the main event.
- Chavo Guerrero enters his father�s dressing room (with its own faceplate), but Chavo Classic admonishes him for not knocking. When he does, CC asks Chavo to introduce him, and says that the division is going to go �old school.� *Insert laugh track here*
- Commercials �
Chavo Classic vs. Akio (Cruiserweight title match)
Chavo was upset when he lost the title last week, but he�s happy with the fact that it stayed in the family. He introduces �the best dad in the world�, and Chavo Classic comes out clad in an �old school� robe.
Akio is holding his neck, selling the effects of Mordecai�s beating last week, so CC pounces on it, but Akio makes the comeback with a kick. He goes up and hits a NICE corkscrew moonsault (really tight rotation and everything), but Chavo distracts the ref long enough for CC to kick out at 2. CC backdrops Akio out, and Chavo hits a tornado DDT on the floor and rolls him back in for CC to get the easy win at 2:15.
Rating: 1/10
Thoughts: Outside of the moonsault, an instantly forgettable match. I�m guessing that this whole thing leads to Chavo getting more heel heat by beating his father in a match, but who knows? At this rate, they�ll drag out Mama Guerrero to win the title.
- RAW Rebound
- In the parking lot, the Dudleys dump someone in a suit into the trunk of their car and drive off. Cole and Tazz think its Heyman, but the camera focuses on an urn lying on the ground. Someone comes into the shot picks it up, and the camera pans up to find that it is Heyman. Ok, so I guess we know who Taker is moving on to.
- Commercials �
- The lumberjacks make their way out and Luthor pushes out a large box covered in American flags. He stops at the end of the aisle and Angle pops up out of the top, taking his position for the main event.
John Cena � vs. Rene Dupree (w/Fifi) (Lumberjack match for the US title)
They lock up and Dupree gets a go behind and rolls Cena up for 2. Cena returns the favor and gets a 2 count himself. Dupree with a takedown, but Cena grabs a hammerlock. Dupree elbows out of it, but gets knocked down and tries to roll out, but the faces keep him in. Cena no-sells some chops in the corner and knocks Dupree out. Rico dances for him, but Dupree doesn�t like being served and shoves him. Hass comes up from behind and holds Dupree while Rico plants a wet one on him. Back in, Cena gets a rollup for another 2. Dupree goes to toss Cena out, but Cena puts on the brakes and Rene ends up on the floor again. Back in, Cena commences with the 10 punch in the corner, but Dupree takes him down with an inverted atomic drop, getting a two count off it. The faces start a �Cena� chant, and Dupree dumps Cena out to the heel side. Luthor takes him and rams Cena�s head into the Anglebox and we take a break.
Coming back, Dupree wrenches the neck in the ring. Cena fights out, but Dupree knees him in the neck and gets a 2 count. He mounts Cena and slugs, but Cena takes the opportunity and rolls Dupree up for 2. Back to the wrench and Cena rallies again, but Rene rakes the eyes and clotheslines Cena down hard, dropping an elbow and getting a 2 count. Back to the wrench once more and Cena gets a jawbreaker, but Booker T pulls the top rope down and Cena topples to the floor, easy pickings for the heels until the faces make the save. Back in, Dupree gets a series of 2 counts and dumps Cena again. This time, the lumberjacks brawl while Booker pounds away on Cena. Guess we know what Booker�s doing after next week, too. Cena gets rolled back in and Dupree gets a few more near falls and stops a Cena comeback with a spinebuster. Rene pauses for the Arrogant French, Paris Deserves the Olympics over New York Two Step and drops another elbow for another 2. Dupree goes for a powerbomb, but Cena counters and blocks a sunset flip attempt. He pounds away, and hits a back body drop, but Dupree delivers a shot to the gut and goes to take advantage, but Cena gets the FU and the pin at 15:05. The faces put Cena on their shoulders as he taunts a disgusted Angle and we fade to black.
Rating: 5/10
Thoughts: Not a bad match, light-years better than last week�s, but not great for a TV main, either (not like the ones RAW has put on recently). Dupree tried his best to be the dominating heel, but it just came across as dull. I still would have liked him to take the match, but I guess we�re transitioning to a Cena-Booker feud for the summer. The lumberjack stipulation was a novel idea, but it works best when the competitors have an established beef with some the lumberjacks, which I don�t think either Cena or Dupree did.
Final Thoughts: One of the better Smackdowns in recent weeks, since they actually seem to be building towards some stuff for the near future. Hell, they already seem to be building for the Bash, which is coming across as a big PPV for the brand. Matchwise, the opener and main were solid, but the undercard is still really lacking.
Well, that�s one month down. JHawk is pulling double duty next week, finishing his RAW duty while starting his Smackdown tenure, so I�ll be back a week from Monday, giving RAW the Royal Treatment. See you then.
Have anything to say? E-Mail me at [email protected]
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