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TNA
Raw from JHawk's Beak (7/12/2004)
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on Jul 13, 2004, 11:02
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Raw from JHawk's Beak (7/12/2004)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
OK, we're late due to my work schedule, so let's move along.
E-Mail of the Week: Hey man, are ya ever going to give me a plug? I thought my questions were funny and perhaps stupid enough to earn me a plug. Also, why is choking someone on the ropes illegal, but a hotshot is not illegal? But anyway, I hope to get a blurb someday. Thanks -Hank Bohannan
The simple answer: Choking against the ropes is a variation of the chokehold, which is already illegal. The Hotshot, while if done to its most effective affects the throat, is usually done by dropping the chest onto the top rope. Technically though, the Hotshot is illegal since you're not supposed to use the ropes on your opponent in that manner.
Tonight: Triple H is PISSED at Eugene over his involvement in the WWE Title match at Vengeance...and some other stuff too as we begin the road to SummerSlam.
Segment 1
Evolution is in the back, and Triple H makes sure everybody knows to go after Eugene...but nobody goes for him until Triple H does. Each man thinks they should have the first shot for various reasons (Batista: "I had to take him to Chuck E. Cheese"), but Hunter says to follow his lead...and in comes Eugene. He acknowledges he made a mistake and he's sorry...and Hunter does a complete 180 and says he's not mad at him. Everybody else looks mad, but according to Hunter, "friends are friends, and everybody makes mistakes." He's not mad, but Uncle Eric is. Eugene: "Uh oh." Eric wants to see him, so you'd better go there now. Eugene meekly apologizes again and leaves, and Orton wants to know why the hell they didn't do it right there. Hunter says to wait until Bischoff talks to him.
Cue the opening.
And we are live from the Verizon Wireless Arena in Manchester, New Hampshire! Good Ol' JR and The King are set to call all the action! Lita and Kane will be in the Highlight Reel!
Non-Title Match scheduled for one fall: Edge (WWE Intercontinental Champion) vs. Batista
A real champion would defend his title tonight. Lockup, throw down by Batista. And again. Edge with a side headlock. Batista forces Edge into the corner. An exchange of shoves, and Edge with a series of forearms until Batista knocks him down with one shot. Boot choke. Turnbuckle smash. Shoulderblocks in the corner. Knee choke. Edge with a kick to the chest and a series of forearms, then a series of flying axhandles...until Batista punches him in the ribs. Sternum into the corner, and a cover by Batista for 2. Knee choke in the ropes. Outside goes Batista to drop some elbows along Edge's chest as he hangs over the ring apron. Corner whip, and Edge with the big boot. A drop toehold sends Batista into the turnbuckle. Spinning heel kick. Dropkick, and Batista falls out to the floor. A shoulderblock knocks Batista off the apron, and listen the crowd...and watch Randy Orton head down to the ring.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Can I make a prediction? Eugene against Evolution in a handicap match. That's the only possible way I can see Triple H waiting to go after Eugene after Eugene cost him the title.
Segment 2
Batista with a double wristlock, and Orton is no longer at ringside after tripping up Edge during the break and being ejected from ringside. Edge was also sent to the ringpost back-first during the break. Edge finally breaks the hold by maneuvering Batista into the corner. Side slam by Batista, but he wastes time before the cover and thus only gets 2. Knees to the back. Vertical suplex for a couple of 2 counts. Camel clutch. This is old school here, and I love it. Batista sits down on the back and pulls the hair, then sits down on the back again. Edge counters a running powerslam into the Edgeomatic. Forearms and punches by both men, with Edge getting the advantage. Flying forearm. Whip, reversal, side step by Edge, and the Edgecution (on the second attempt) gets 2. Batista side steps the spear and takes Edge down with a huge spinebuster that...only gets 2? Come on, Earl Hebner, count! Egde rolls to the apron and takes Batista down with a rope stunner. Climbing up top, but Batista follows him up. Edge knocks him down and takes him down with a huge missile dropkick for 2. Another spear attempt, and Batista catches him, but Edge rolls into a modified sunset flip...and grabs the ropes...for the pin in 15:10. Not a very babyface-like move, particularly when Batista did nothing illegal aside from a few chokes. Decent enough once Batista started working the back, but nothing special. A bit too long for what they seemed to accomplish, and all that work on the back seemed to go nowhere. **1/2
Eugene goes to the GM's office, and there's Eric Bischoff. Eric is "mad as hell" that everybody is blaming Eugene for Triple H's loss. It was an honest mistake, and truth be told, he couldn't be more proud of him. He did such a great job as GM last week, and he's convinced that Eugene does belong in the business. Eric can do whatever he wants, and tonight he wants to book Eugene vs. Chris Benoit for the World Heavyweight Championship. Eugene hugs him as Bischoff gets a sorta evil look on his face.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
One quick addition to the Edge-Batista match: A bit of karma involved in the finish, as Batista won Sunday night because Earl Hebner didn't see the foot in the ropes...and then loses because Hebner doesn't see the opponent use the ropes for leverage. Somebody should have played that up.
And now the Evolution opening segment makes sense, as now Triple H can do to Eugene what Eugene did to Triple H..."accidentally" cost Eugene the World Heavyweight Championship before doing the beatdown.
Segment 3
Live in Manchester, New Hampshire, and Jerry Lawler brings out of the Raw Diva Search hopefuls, Candice Michelle, who was a cheerleader in Dodgeball and apparently will be in Lingerie Bowl II. What a waste of time. She can touch her nose with her tongue too!
Todd Grisham is with Ric Flair, who asks about Eugene's title shot. Evolution wishes Eugene the best tonight, and now we'll talk about his autobiography. Thank God it's out in stores and a bestseller, as the last week with Eugene has driven him nuts. Everytime he tries to climb the ladder, he encounters another freak...and in comes The Hurricane, who wants Flair to sign his book. Flair refuses, saying Gregory Helms became a joke instead of a legend. "Focus on your career instead of making the fans happy." Hurricane says The Rock, Hulk Hogan, and Chyna wrote better books, and it's not number one like Foley's was. Flair cheap shots The Hurricane, and he challenges him, saying he'll show him things you'll never see in that book.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
So could this be the angle Gregory Helms needs to actually get a serious push, possibly at the I-C level? Well, odds are that it's actually just going to be the final nail in his coffin, as with no cruiserweight division on Raw there's only so far Helms will likely be able to go. That should still be a fun match at any rate.
But would somebody please kill off the Diva Search right now? I've yet to see any redeeming value for anybody except the eventual winner and horny 14 year old boys.
Segment 4
One fall: Robert Conway (World Tag Team Champion--w/Sylvain Grenier) vs. The Man Beast Rhyno (w/Tajiri Yoshihiro)
Arm wringer by Conway. Side headlock. Hair pull takedown. A series of punches by Rhyno, and a hiptoss. Forearm to the back by Conway that sends Rhyno to the floor, and Grenier gets some shots in on the outside. Back in, and Conway covers for 2. Chinlock. Rhyno punches out of it, and they trade punches in midring. Clothesline by Rhyno. Backdrop. Belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Uppercut by Conway. Spinebuster slam by Rhyno. Rhyno sets up the Gore, but Grenier grabs the foot. Tajiri gets Grenier away from Rhyno, and Rhyno gores Conway for the pin in 3:07. 1/2*
Eugene vs. Benoit for the title is still to come tonight.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The story of this one is that Rhyno has found his tag team partner to take on La Resistance, and it's another former ECW alumnus. Which could be fine if, unlike this match, the eventual title match tells some sort of story besides "evil French-Canadians try to do double teaming behind the blind referee's back". It is nice to see at least some effort to get some new teams into the mix.
Segment 5
One fall: Tyson Tomko (w/WWE Women's Champion Trish the Bitch) vs. Maven (w/Nidia)
This was set up on Heat prior to Vengeance. Wow, you'd think Heat actually meant something to somebody. Tomko knocks Maven off the apron with a knee before Maven even gets in the ring. Military press into a fallaway slam for 2. That was impressive! Corner whip. Fistdrop. Kneedrop. Nidia hooks Tomko's ankle, and Tomko stalks her on the floor. Maven drops Tomko throat first on the top rope as Tomko tries to reenter the ring and follows him to the floor. Back in, and a running forearm and a shoulderblock gets a count of 2. Tomko drops Maven onto the top rope. Maven sends Tomko into the turnbuckle, and a dropkick gets 2. Trish goes for Maven, and Nidia grabs Trish, and the ensuing struggle leads to Tomko's big boot for the pin at 2:25. 1/4*
William Regal talks to Chris Benoit and says he doesn't know what Bischoff and Evolution have in mind, but he doesn't want Eugene to get hurt. Benoit likes Eugene, but the title's on the line, so Benoit will do whatever he has to to keep it.
The Highlight Reel is next.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Wow, big man vs. little man with tons of outside interference. I haven't seen that in a week! I'll give them credit for keeping Trish in the mix while she's injured and trying to get some other people involved, but the match was about as cookie cutter as you can get, and it's just not keeping my interest for any length of time. Not even the entire two minutes it got.
Segment 6
Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel!
Can you believe that, before they announced Benoit vs. Eugene, this was being billed as the main event? Y2J+4 is your host as always, and as much as Jericho has accomplished, the best one occured last week when he became the first Undisputed WWE Musical Chairs Champion. "You should see what I can do with Pin the Tail on the Donkey, daddy!" But tonight's guests have deep personal issues, and it's Raw, so it can't be done unless it's done in the ring. Guest #1: Kane. Kane says something I can't hear to Jericho, but then he tells Lita that he won't tolerate even the mother of his baby costing him matches. Out comes Lita, and please tell me that if she starts "showing" she'll dress more conservatively. She made Kane angry, and people suffer when Kane is angry. Lita yanks the mic out of his hand and tells him he'll do nothing. She pays for her mistake every day, and she's tired of being a victim. Suffering is being impregnated by a man you despise, having the man you love refuse to talk to you, and not knowing who the father is. From now on, she'll do what she wants, "and there's nothing you can do about it, you sick son of a bitch!" Kane can't do anything to her, but he can make sure he never sees the birth of that child. "I have the power to create life...and I also have the power to end it." But I thought we'd never see a murder on WWE TV. She knows Matt Hardy can fight his own battles, and she does know who the father is...and it's not Kane. And she knows because she's been with both of them...and Matt's more of a man than he'll ever be. Kane begins destroying the set, and Kane tosses Jericho from the ring just because. Jericho calls Kane out and says he wants a fight. "You don't have to leave so prematurely, but from what I hear, you do a lot of things prematurely!" He just got punked out by a chick. He tells Lawler to cancel the diva search, because Kane's the winner. He says Kane has no balls, and here comes Kane!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
I suppose they had to do something to get people to cheer Lita again, but since I tuned in to watch a wrestling show and not Days of our Lives, I still don't give a rat's ass. Thank God for Jericho being somewhat entertaining, and thank God somebody thought to set up some sort of match out of all this. Oh, and Lita...you're only safe because he thinks the baby's his! Don't tell him otherwise, you stupid bitch! (No offense to any women reading this who aren't stupid bitches.)
Segment 7
One fall: Y2J+4 vs. Kane
Kane has a reverse chinlock on as we join the match in progress. Corner whip. Jericho avoids a back suplex and dropkicks Kane into the corner. Chops. Mounted punches in the corner. Thumb to the eye, and Jericho off the top with an ugly flying bodypress for 2. Kane with a kick to the midsection, and he uses his power to gain the advantage. Kane to the floor, and he bends Jericho in about eight different directions in the corner. Back in, and a side slam gets 2. Kneedrop to the back, then applying a modified bow-and-arrow. Stomps to the back. Short clothesline for 2. Jericho chops away, but Kane applies a bearhug. Kane misses an elbowdrop, and Jericho fights back with chops. Drop toehold into the ropes, followed by the squisher (tm Kevin Nash). Jericho runs into a big boot. Kane climbs up top, and Jericho with a springboard dropkick that makes Kane land rather gingerly on the top turnbuckle. Kane tosses Jericho off the top turnbuckle and goes for a flying clothesline, but Jericho catches him coming down with a dropkick. Kane is to his feet first though, and he goes for a choke slam, but Jericho counters. Kane avoids the Walls of Jericho, but after a miscue by Kane, Jericho locks it in. Kane reaches the ropes to force the break, and Kane kicks off to avoid another one. Enzuigiri by Jericho, and a late cover only gets 2. Roll up for 2. Kane with a low blow, and Chris Kay calls for the DQ after 7:43 aired. *1/4 An angry Kane choke slams Jericho and Kay.
Benoit vs. Eugene is still to come!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
I'm actually pleasantly surprised that they allowed Jericho to get that much offense in after they'd spent the previous segment putting over how people suffer when Kane is angry. I'm even more surprised that Kane's angry postmatch attack was merely one choke slam. I mean, it's not that I'd want Jericho to be stuck in the role of Kane's sacrificial lamb or anything like that, but after a year, they still haven't made up their mind whether Kane is actually an unstoppable monster or not. It's time to pick one and stick with it.
Segment 8
Thank you for your $35 on Sunday. We need every dime we can get.
Lawler's got another divas search contest, Nina Hardin. Another model/actress. Maybe I'd give a shit if they actually had normal everyday women as a part of this. The crowd was into the first girl, but they're booing this girl out of the building. Did she blow Coach as part of her audition? She's not hot and she has zero personality. But you can see her again on Thursday if you like jabbing your eyes with a spork.
Time for the SmackDown Rebound, focusing on the US and WWE Title situations.
Ric Flair meets The Hurricane next.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Nothing to see here. Let's move it along.
Segment 9
One fall: The Man WHOO! vs. The Hurricane
Side headlock by Hurricane. A series of punches by Hurricane, then a corner whip and a backdrop. Count along punches. Hurricane blocks an atomic drop, then knocks Flair down with a vicious European uppercut and covers for 2. Flair with a hard chop, then a series of them. Hammerlock, and he rams Hurricane's shoulder into the turnbuckle. More chops. Stomps to the arm. Hammerlock over the top rope. Snap mare. Kneedrop. Wristlock. Armbar. Hurricane tries to fight back, but Flair knocks him down with a chop. Hurricane with a flying clothesline. Fist to the midsection. They exchange blows, with Hurricane getting the advantage. Flair begs off. Corner whip leads to a Flair flip, which JR credits to the late Ray "The Crippler" Stevens. A brawl on the floor, then back in as Flair is bleeding from the ear. Flair with punches and chops. Hurricane blocks a punch and punches Flair, then backdrops him over. Shining Black for 2. Turnbuckle smash, then the blockbuster for 2. Up top, but Flair sends him crotch first onto the turnbuckle. Chop block to the knee, and now the man is focusing his attack solely on The Hurricane's knee. Another chop block, and now we go to school with the Figure-Four Leglock. Hurricane tries to hang on, but he taps out at 7:19. Wow, somebody actually submitted to Flair's figure-four! I haven't seen that in years! *3/4
COMMERCIAL BREAK
And maybe the loss will be what Hurricane uses to become more serious. Maybe he'll think that if he took things more seriously, he could win more matches. But then what do you with Rosey, as he has less of a chance to do anything useful if he's not the Super Hero In Training? Or is Rosey even still on the roster? Does anybody care? This match was probably the best showcase of psychology of the entire night so far, although the arm work didn't really mean anything as the match progressed.
Segment 10
SmackDown Your Vote thingie.
Lawler with Carmella DeCesare, and she has my vote just because she's from Cleveland. She has two cute puppies...and a couple of dogs too. She only wants to be a diva to work with Vince McMahon. And she's 2004's Playmate of the Year. And you honestly think WWE isn't going to rig the contest?
Benoit comes to talk to Eugene, who says he wants to be World Champion even though they're friends. Benoit wants a wrestling match. No chairs, no brass knuckles, no chains. Benoit tells Eugene he'll do whatever he has to to keep the title, and Eugene seems cool with it.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
I don't even know who the ten actual finalists are yet since they allegedly haven't been selected, but I think we've found our winner since I can't believe Vince would actually care which "diva" the fans preferred. Besides, ike Vince McMahon is going to turn down a Playmate of the Year. This might be interesting if the women involved were actually people I could possibly meet in real life, but obviously that's not the actual point.
Segment 11
One fall for the World Heavyweight Championship: Eugene vs. Chris Benoit (champion)
Lockup into the corner, and Eugene with a chop. Benoit retaliating. More chops by Benoit. Snap suplex for 2. Back suplex for 2. Corner whip, then into the rolling German suplexes. Benoit calls for the headbutt already, but Eugene rolls out of the way. Eugene covers for 2. Eugene goes for the Pedigree, but Benoit backdrops out of it. Forearm smash. Benoit runs into a sidewalk slam, then Eugene goes for the People's Elbow, but Benoit trips Eugene up and locks in the sharpshooter. Eugene reaches the ropes to force the break. A hard running forearm smash sends Eugene out to the floor. That angers Eugene, and he reenters the ring with a series of punches. Elbowsmash for 2. Vertical suplex for 2. Eugene goes into the rolling Germans. Benoit blocks the third one, but Eugene locks in the Crippler Crossface. Benoit struggles but eventually reaches the ropes. Benoit reverses a corner whip but runs into a big boot. Benoit goes the Crossface, but Eugene counters and sends Benoit into the corner. Rock Bottom, and Benoit gets a foot on the bottom rope. Eugene thinks he won the title and grabs the belt and does a victory lap, and out comes Evolution! Mike Chioda tries to tell Eugene the match isn't over, but Eugene is still celebrating. Triple H with a hard right hand to Eugene, then all four work on Benoit. That's a no contest after about seven minutes. Eugene charges Flair but gets taken down, and Flair makes Eugene watch Triple H Pedigree Benoit. Out comes William Regal, and he does a number on Randy Orton until the numbers become too much for him. Eugene comes after Evolution, but eventually the numbers catch up to him too. Orton RKOs Regal as they turn the focus over to Eugene. Triple H lays it into Eugene, and it's a 4-on-1 beatdown. RKO by Orton. Sitout Power Bomb by Batista. A series of punches by Triple H, and Eugene is busted open. More slaps and punches before going into the Pedigree. Hunter holds up the belt as a bloodied Eugene leans against the ropes.
END OF SHOW
A decent match while it lasted (and I'd like to see it get 20 minutes without the mass run-ins and see what they can do), and we finally get the payoff to the last month of buildup. A good beatdown that draws a line between the good guys and the bad guys and acknowledges who Eugene's friends are, plus if you throw Edge into the mix you could have one hell of an eight man tag leading into SummerSlam. Like that the Raw in Cleveland on August 9 )hint hint). Plenty of options from here.
Overall, a decent show. Some decent but unspectacular wrestling with some decent but unspectacular storyline buildup. Get rid of the diva search bullshit and you don't really have any complete wastes of time on this show. I also like that they actually threw a few people into the mix that we haven't seen in a while, such as Maven and The Hurricane. About damn time for that one. I can't say I thought it was a great show, but I certainly don't feel like I wasted my two hours plus.
Drop me a line if you have issues with it though. And a friendly reminder, next week's recap will also be late since I work next Monday night.
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