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" The Gravel Pit "
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Wrestling
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TNA
WWE Vengeance
Posted by Nik Johnson on Jul 15, 2004, 17:05
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Super-short introduction, as it's getting late, and I wanted to get this up tonight.
The Coach and Garrison Cade vs. Tajiri & Rhyno
The idea here is that Rhyno is suddenly super scary, and the gore in particular is put over as his weapon of mass destruction. Despite being a non-entity since joining Raw, Tajiri is also sold as something of a threat. Cade's continued existence baffles me, since he has shown exactly zero personality, and even though it's only been minutes since I watched the match, I can't remember anything he did, other than getting gored.
Coach spends way too much time on offence for someone who's sold exclusively as a comedy character outside of the ring. For some reason he tries to act like a proper wrestler, and it just seems so strange, especially when people are selling for him.
Tajiri's kicks are put over as stiff throughout the match, which helps build towards the finish, where he takes out Coach with one. Without the build, it would be seen as "only" a kick, which is typical WWE watering down for you, but Tajiri manages to make something special of them.
Rhyno's impact on the match was relatively minor, it was mostly about Tajiri and the Coach, which is where all the background is. It's a shame, it'd be good to see more of him. However the pose at the end of the match, with both Rhyno and Tajiri standing together could mean a continuation of the team. I for one wouldn't complain.
WINNERS: Tajiri & Rhyno
Backstage, HHH is about to reveal his masterplan, but he can't do it with Eugene around. Eugene's talking to Benoit, who tells him not to trust HHH. HHH is manipulating Eugene. Did we mention that HHH is manipulating Eugene? Everyone knows that HHH is manipulating Eugene, right? WE GET THE FUCKING POINT.
Chris Jericho vs. Dave Batista
Jericho slows himself down to Batista's pace, and Jericho not going full pace is not fun to watch. Batista does play the role of a monster very well, he's believable and strong.
We have a long period of neck and back work on Jericho, which is a sequence of submission holds. There's no drama to them though, as there's zero chance of Jericho tapping. It'd be much better to have some power moves mixing things up, and it would have done wonders for the pace.
The focus on the back and neck of Jericho is a sound strategy, and leads logically to the finish, with the Batista-bomb specifically hitting those parts of the body, as do his other power moves, like the regular powerbomb, and other slams.
Batista's greenness shows through as a couple of pins are clearly not kicked out of in time, which looks silly and is one of the most basic things it's possible to fuck up.
The ending sees Jericho take a spinebuster and sit-out powerbomb, before very obviously and deliberately rolling towards the ropes and putting his foot on them. Hebner misses this, and counts the three anyway, making a mockery of the match and the idea of things even being slightly competitive. I made this point when Angle cost Guerrero the title at the Bash, but it's just as relevant here:
The referee's decision should be final. Period. Having a video replay, or other referees correcting decisions, or even Angle, Bischoff or whoever overriding decisions shouldn't be happening sometimes.
Either the referee's decision should be final, or it should always be open to appeal when incorrect.
Does this mean that Angle can come out and change the result of a match whenever he likes? Does he have to prove things? To what standard? It's created a stupid atmosphere where basically Angle can do what he likes, unless it is inconvenient for the storyline. This is WWE's problem - they change the rules to suit the storyline, rather than the other way round.
Basically, they don't care enough to codify rules for a fake sport, so they just do as they please.
WINNER: Dave Batista
More wacky backstage antics with the hilarious Eugene and the dastardly Triple H, as I want to tear my eyes out for them making this story insultingly obvious. HHH tells Eugene not to listen to Benoit, and yada yada yada (Seinfeld rules)... Eugene wear Flair's robe to the ring.
Ric Flair & Eugene vs. La Resistance, WWE Tag Team Titles
The match is broken into two distinct parts � Eugene and La Resistance, then Flair and La Resistance. The ending is a minor clusterfuck involving all men, but we'll get back to that.
Eugene mocks Flair's mannerisms and trademarks � the chops, whooos, eye poke and figure four are all there. Sadly, he omits "fall over the turnbuckle, run across the apron and get slammed off the top", right Bret? The parody of Flair is funny, but it is a little long winded. The commentators would have you believe that Flair is angry at this, but there's a little smirk on his face that lets you know he gets a kick out of it. The crowd soundly turn him face here. You know, everyone WANTS to cheer Ric Flair these days, and he's fairly worthless in Evolution, so why not switch things around?
The second distinct part of the match sees Flair in the ring with La Resistance, and he seems strangely lost, like he's run out of things to do. He goes to the one move that requires no effort, and chops at the chests of La Resistance. This is repeated over and over for the duration of his stay in the ring, with almost no variation. Tiresome doesn't even come close to describing this. Even more irritating is the crowd "whoo"ing along every ten seconds.
In the ring, La Resistance (I still can't tell them apart) are as bland as Garrison Cade and any other generic OVW guy. Their gimmick sets them apart nicely enough and keeps them heels though. God bless Vince's view of the ignorant American, and God bless the fans for keeping the stereotype alive.
Line of the night to Jim Ross: "Ric Flair is the Michael Jordan of his gender (pronounced like "genre" "
Eugene is thrown into the ringsteps, causing him to "tard up", and flip out on La Resistance. This shows the dangerous edge to the character, as he throws down the referee for the disqualification.
I'm confused by the character motivation here. Obviously, Eugene is pleased to be in the ring with his idol, and wants to emulate him. Flair, however, is supposed to be pissed off with Eugene, and not want to be tag champs with him or win the match. However, it was Eugene that cost the team the match, not Flair. Having Flair flip out on Eugene and then on the referee would put tremendous heat onto him (there's few babyfaces more sympathetic than Eugene), and follow on logically from him not wanting to work with Eugene.
WINNERS: La Resistance
Kane vs. Matt Hardy, No Disqualification
Hardy ludicrously oversells a weak uppercut early on, launching himself over the guardrail, and looking very stupid in the process. He makes up for this by playing dead for every single move that Kane does, finally allowing him to live up to the "monster" reputation. This needs to be built up for Kane, make him look more impressive, make his shots look hard � and having him buying a pushchair with Lita is not the way to go about it.
This is essentially a squash match. Hardy gets literally no offensive moves in for a huge portion, after an initial outburst. This makes the decision to have him go over strange and out of nowhere.
When Hardy finds himself with an advantage, he uses the rules of the match to his advantage, braining Kane with the ring bell. This is enough to cancel out all the damage Hardy has taken, for some reason, as he gets what most announcers pass off as a "second wind".
Kane kicks out of the twist of fate, and even manages the zombie sit up. The storyline is obviously going to continue, so why have Kane no-sell his finisher completely so early on?
Lita begs Kane not to hit Matt with the ringsteps, and he either cries or shits his pants as he throws them to the ground. Acting is not his strongpoint. Hardy hits the ringsteps into Kane's face with a steel chair, to cement the victory. The ending was out of nowhere, as Kane had taken no damage since he zombied the twist of fate, and I find it hard to believe that the shot would do that much damage, especially as Kane has (I'm sure) taken it before.
WINNER: Matt Hardy, V1
Backstage, Lita confronts Matt, but he tells her to leave him alone. She deserves that.
Randy Orton vs. Edge, Intercontinental Championship
If Orton and Edge could maintain the pace of the last few minutes for the duration of the match, this would have been great. However, instead it was drawn out, with too much reliance on boring submission holds. Submissions are never sold as being close to the end of the match; the pain and power is never put over; nobody ever taps to anything but a finisher.
Case in point, they immediately fight over a headlock, which seems more like an exercise in standing still than attempting to win the match. After breaking the hold, Edge goes to an armlock, and then... a headlock again. I have no idea why this guy ever gets brought up as a good worker. This slow start is not what the match needs, especially when the crowd are soundly behind Orton, bizarrely, with a "let's go Orton" chant breaking out almost immediately.
The sequence we seem to be getting into is headlock, shoulder charge, headlock. Jesus, seriously � who booked this to go 25 minutes?
It should be noted that Orton does a cocky pause before facing Edge, when he runs the ropes. It's little touches like this that are missing these days. He throws a lot of these little things in, smiling arrogantly at the camera, and so on.
King and Ross are on exceptionally bad form during this match, talking about how Edge grows his hair to look like a rock star and that he thinks the ladies like it, amongst other things. Call. The. Fucking. Match.
Orton grabs the Intercontinental title out of nowhere, and attempts to hit Edge with it. This doesn't make sense, as he's not in any danger, has no need to cheat. Almost immediately after this, Edge kicks out of the back-to-backbreaker that Orton uses, which frustrates him. Going to get the belt at this point would much better reflect the frustration he felt, and would have no effect, as he doesn't get to use it.
It should be re-mentioned how tedious all these headlocks are getting. As tedious as if I were to write only the word headlock for the rest of the review.
Headlock, headlock headlock. Headlock headlock headlock headlock, headlock, headlock headlock headlock. Headlock. Headlock headlock headlock headlock headlock headlock headlock headlock headlock. Headlock headlock headlock. HEADLOCK!
The ending sequence has them pick up the pace dramatically, with a series of believable near falls, any of which could have been the finish. Suprisingly, Edge picks up the win and the title, but I've no idea what he's going to do with it. Fans are turning on him left and right, and he was dropped from the proposed feud with Triple H (despite the latter lobbying for him to jump to Raw) because he's sucking too much.
I'd recommend skipping the first 20 minutes, and pretending it was all as good as the ending.
WINNER: Edge
Hype for the Raw Diva Search. Surely that $250,00 prize could be better spent elsewhere.
Number 1 contender for the Women's title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria
It's a shame that Victoria completely lost her edge when she turned face, it was the only thing that set her apart from all the other "face because they are hot, heel because they are mean" women. All the time spent putting over her psycho character was wasted, and the new ass-jiggling Victoria may as well be a different person.
The match is a whole bunch of nothing, which the crowd don't care about. Molly works the arm a little, but it goes nowhere. Widow's Peak is rolled out of, but a superkick wins it for Victoria (hooking the leg with her injured arm). Why do we have a women's division again? Oh, there's Victoria's nipples poking out.
WINNER: Victoria
World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Benoit vs. Triple H
Benoit holds the title up in the face of Triple H, showing him that he's the champion. All we ever hear about is how much HHH wants his title back, and rubbing it in his face shows Benoit's confidence, and his attempt at mindgames.
The referee checks both men over for foreign objects, and after consulting my "Exposed! Pro Wrestling's Greatest Secrets Revealed" tape, this means he's giving them last minute instructions. So now you know.
The match starts out aggressively, with both feeling each other out. HHH attempts an early headlock, and Benoit reacts properly for someone who's taken no damage � he escapes immediately. Are you watching, Edge? Benoit chops HHH twice, and then stops. Are you watching, Flair?
A series of counters sees Benoit come out repeatedly on top, to which HHH frustratedly pushes him away. This shows Benoit as having the edge, but Triple H being more aggressive.
There's an excellent German suplex spot. Triple H runs at Benoit, who dodges, and catches him in a wastlock. The first German hits fine, but HHH struggles with him over the second, and manages to break out. The struggling like that is lacking a lot of the time, when things are hit just too fluidly.
Both men are portrayed as equal, which is a welcome change in HHH matches. He sells for the champ, and they manage about an equal amount of attack.
Benoit's chest is hurt, after hitting the turnbuckle a couple of times. HHH goes for a suplex, but instead throws him forwards onto the injured sternum. Lawler impresses me by pointing out the psychology. HHH continues to focus his attacks on the chest, wearing Benoit down. Benoit (again with the struggle), counters an abdominal stretch into one of his own, but because he's been worn down, Triple H is able to counter immediately.
In a call back to the move that beat Michaels at Backlash, Benoit attempts the Sharpshooter on HHH, countering the Pedigree into it. HHH sells like a champ, and the crowd really gets into it as Benoit walks him back from the rope to the centre of the ring, but HHH is able to escape.
A referee bump is never a good thing, but it gives HHH chance to call for Eugene. Why doesn't he call for Flair, Orton and Batista? Even though they all wrestled tonight, they must be in better shape combined. In fact, they do come out later on, and Benoit relies on a chair to dispose of them. So why is HHH bothering with Eugene, again?
Benoit shows a slightly paranoid side, throwing Eugene from the apron, jut in case � drawing boos! As I said earlier, they don't come much more sympathetic than Eugene. A low blow from Triple H, Pedigree, referee comes round. 1, 2... kickout! Fans have been so conditioned to know that as the end of Triple H matches, that Benoit breaking that means a lot.
Eugene gives Triple H a chair, but changes his mind and takes it back off him. This is silly, and detracts from the match and intensity of what was going on. There's an overblown bit where Eugene can't decide who to hit with a chair, but accidentally lays out Triple H with it. I'm really fucking sick of Eugene in this match. He killed the pace completely.
Benoit follows up from the chairshot with a roll-up, to retain. The camera immediately cuts to the crowd, and right on someone who's already leaving. Whoops.
A good match, ruined by a really shitty ending, with Eugene taking up way too much time in a serious match and angle. The secret of comedy is timing, and this was awful timing. Oh, and Benoit vanishes, leaving all the focus on Triple H... and Eugene. Good work.
WINNER: Chris Benoit
Overall, this wasn't a bad show. It just wasn't a good one either, and there's absolutely no reason at all that WWE should be putting on mediocre shows. Eugene is fine in a comedy role, but keep him away from what should have been an intense Benoit and Triple H rivalry. Everything else was throwaway and meaningless.
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