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TNA
Raw from JHawk's Beak (11/29/2004)
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on Nov 30, 2004, 21:52
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Raw from JHawk's Beak (11/29/2004)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
Don't you just love me when I get me some double duty? Yep, this week I've got both shows, so we've gotta get this going.
Tonight: Your GM this week is Randy Orton, and he's going to put Triple H to the ultimate test: He has to defend the World Heavyweight Championship against the entire Raw roster in an over-the-top-rope battle royal. Will Triple H find a way to retain and thus prove that he will never lose that championship for a significant amount of time in the near future? Or does Randy Orton once again become eligible for a shot at the gold, perhaps as early as tonight against whoever the new champion may be?
Segment 1
We are LIVE from the 1st Mariner Arena in Baltimore, Maryland, and we are opening with the Battle Royal for the World Heavyweight Championship.
But before Triple H can make his way to the ring, Mr. McMahon makes his way to the top of the ramp. Oh what? Apparently, Triple H will not be defending the championship here in this battle royal. See, even a guy like Steven Richards could win a battle royal. So this battle royal will instead determine a challenger for Triple H here tonight. Um, Vince? Fuck you. This is pretty much defeating the purpose of the entire stipulation.
Top Contenders Battle Royal
Viscera tries to eliminate The Hurricane, who hangs on. He dives onto Viscera, but Viscera catches him. The entire roster quickly gangs up on Viscera, and about seven guys dump him over. Rhyno gores Tyson Tomko, but Tajiri eliminates his own partner. Tomko eliminated by Shelton Benjamin. Robert Conway avoids elimination. Maven eliminates Sylvain Grenier. Eugene eliminates Maven, who takes a very high fall.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
So this defeats the entire purpose of giving someone power as GM for a week. Remember that Bischoff's exact words were that the acting GM could make any match he wanted, "no questions asked". Doesn't that mean that he can't be overruled? Even by Vince McMahon himself? So now Triple H will likely walk out of here with the title...something that very few people wanted to see at this point. See why I thought Orton should have ordered a gauntlet format instead? And I want Steven Richards as World Champion, dammit!
Segment 2
Jonathan Coachman was eliminated by Chris Benoit during the break. Gene Snitsky eliminates Conway and William Regal. Snitsky then eliminates Rosey and Hurricane. Snitsky and Batista then get it on a la their Survivor Series staredown, but it gets broken up to a round of boos. Batista takes Val Venis down with a huge spinebuster before eliminating Eugene, then he spinebusters Christian and eliminates Tajiri. Out goes Christian and Venis by Batista, and he sees someone out of the corner of his eye...and clotheslines Ric Flair over the top rope.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
What I like so far is how they've been driving home the "every man for himself" concept. Tajiri eliminates Rhyno, now Batista eliminates Flair. Just please don't have Batista win it only to lie down to Triple H a la the Finger Poke of Doom.
Segment 3
Benoit and Benjamin try to eliminate Snitsky, and Chris Jericho gets the job done with a springboard dropkick. We're down to six...and Steven Richards is one of them. And he calls all of them out. Jericho and Benjamin eliminate him. Dammit! Down to five. Batista works over Benoit (with Jericho soon to follow) while Edge goes for Benjamin. Edge tries to eliminate Benjamin, who lands on the apron, but a spear eliminates him.
Final Four: Edge, Benoit, Batista, Jericho. Edge and Benoit target each other as Jericho and Batista target each other. No surprises there. Jericho with the squisher (tm Kevin Nash) to Batista. A high cross body, but Batista catches him and dumps him over the top. Edge spears Batista. Benoit takes Edge down with the release German. He tries to dump Edge, but Batista attacks from behind. He goes for the sitout power bomb, and Benoit fights it, and an Edge dropkick sends Batista over the top rope while Benoit holds on. Down to Benoit (on the apron) and Edge (in the ring). They brawl, and Benoit brings Edge over the top rope and onto the apron with him. Benoit tries to German Edge off the apron, and Edge hangs on until they both fall off the apron at 18:30. And each referee thinks a different man won it...does every title contenders battle royal have to end this way? **
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Yeah, OK, triple threat match tonight, we get it. Is it really that hard to simply book a winner and be done with it? And why it that every time they run with this finish, somebody from the Stu Hart dungeon just happens to be involved in the damn thing? The match should be outstanding, but the battle royal finish is a major copout.
Segment 4
A number of replays, and somehow they've yet to figure out how to get a good camera angle of it. Randy Orton discusses the replays with the referees, and Orton asks Vince for his opinion. Now Vince says the decision is up to Orton as Edge pleads his case. Will they make up their fucking minds already? Edge pleads his case and Orton says he'll think about it about 500 times.
Maven can't believe he's blown two title shots in three weeks, and in comes Eugene to ask how to put his title on. Maven throws a fit because has a title and can't spell title (which Eugene disproves in a heartbeat), and in comes William Regal to say it was every man for himself, so bugger off.
Candace is apparently Raw's new makeup lady, and she asks Randy Orton if her dress shows too much cleavage. Orton gets a good long look before Chris Benoit comes in to throw a fit because he doesn't know what they're going to do. Orton says he'll make his decision in the ring.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
So NOW it's Orton's decision who gets the title shot. They can't make up their own bloody mind from segment to segment what the hell the stipulation actually was now. But a good segment with Maven, who is getting bitter about not having a title in four years (completely ignoring his hardcore title reigns, but what the hell, I suppose). Little things like that make the show that much more realistic and, as a result, that much more entertaining.
Segment 5
We finally have a good angle of the final elimination, and it's as close to a tie as humanly possible.
And Randy Orton is on the top of the ramp to make his decision. But before that, we have other titles on the line. La Resistance has used their rematch clause, so they'll meet William Regal and Eugene for the World Tag Team Championship. And one of our announcers will leave the table for some in-ring action, and it's not Good Ol' JR. We just happen to have a legend celebrating a birthday today, so after this next match, it'll be a legends match: Jerry Lawler vs. Ric Flair. WHOO! Now onto the main event. Both men have very valid points, but if they get singles matches, they have a 50% chance of losing to Triple H. But if they both get the shot, Hunter's odds of retaining the title go down to 3-to-1, so we officially have a triple threat match.
Divas Tag Team Match scheduled for one fall: Lita and Victoria vs. Molly Holly and WWE Women's Champion Trish Stratus
Lawler's getting ready for his match, so Coach is doing broadcast duties. Molly knocks Victoria down before the bell, and we're underway. Snap suplex for 2. Tag to Trish, who gets the Chick Kick for 2. Hair pull slam for 2. A spear stops a brief comeback and earns Trish a 2 count. Tag to Molly, who chokes Trish against the ropes. Swinging neckbreaker for 2. Molly knocks Lita off the apron. Victoria rolls up Molly, but Earl Hebner is too busy worrying about Lita and Trish on the floor and misses it completely. Chinlock submission by Molly. Victoria elbows out of it, but a rolling neckbreaker by Molly takes her down. Turnbuckle smash. Kicks to the midsection. Double teaming in the corner as Lita distracts Earl Hebner. Turnbuckle smash. More double teaming in the corner. Trish holds Victoria in the corner, but Victoria breaks free and avoids the handspring elbow. An elbow prevents Victoria from making the hot tag, but that doesn't last long, and Lita's in legally for the first time tonight. And you'd think she couldn't blow a simple clothesline, but she found a way to do it. She takes Molly down with a flying headscissors but goes after Trish, locking in the rear naked choke. Molly makes the save, and Victoria and Molly begin brawling ib the floor. Lita kicks Trish in the broken nose, then hits a sick DDT for the pin at 6:46. Hey, this didn't suck! *1/2
Up next, The King meets The Nature Boy. WHOO!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
This actually wasn't too bad, mostly because Lita wasn't actually in the ring for the first five minutes. And say what you will about Lita, but that DDT she's been doing the last few weeks looks absolutely vicious. That being said, it's time to finally get that definitive blowoff to the Trish-Lita feud over with and bring in a new challenger or two for Trish. How much further can this thing really go when Lita's been getting the upperhand over the last couple of weeks?
Segment 6
Live from Baltimore, with two titles still on the line tonight and Baltimore Ravens in attendance.
Time for a montage of the Mohammed Hassan and Khosrow Daivari vignettes.
Legends Match scheduled for one fall: Ric Flair vs. Jerry Lawler
I believe this is only the second time these two have ever faced each other, as I recall a match in the Memphis TV studio about 20 years ago and can't recall another one. Lawler throws Flair to the mat after Flair threw Lawler into the corner, then does the Flair strut. A slap knocks Flair to one knee. Headlock, throw-off, shoulderblock. Lawler does another Flair strut as Ross says Lawler's only wrestled Flair three times. It certainly didn't happen much. Flair with a series of chops to Lawler. Lawler comes back with a series of right hands. Flair comes out of the corner swinging but does a Flair Flop to the mat. Flair with a right hand, and starts to pound away at Lawler. Kicks to the knee. Chops. Kneedrop for 2. A chop, but no effect to Lawler, and DOWN COMES THE STRAP! It's serious now, as a series of right hands sends Flair down. Elbowsmash and an elbowdrop for 2. Backdrop. Bodyslam. Flying fistdrop. And another one, but Lawler apparently landed on his knee. And you know Flair's going to target it. He goes for the Figure-Four, but Lawler counters with a small package for 2. Flair chop blocks the knee, and this time he does get the Figure-Four locked in. Lawler tries to turn it over, but Flair grabs the ropes to prevent it, and Lawler has no choice but to tap out at 6:16. **** for nostalgia purposes, but only about * for the actual match.
Melina (Perez, if I'm not mistaken) has been added to the Raw roster thanks to Randy Orton, and she promises to return the favor. In comes Maria, and Orton tells her he wants to repay the fans for their support. The ladies won't wrestle: It'll be a whole lot better than that. If they're not wrestling, then what the hell's the point?
WrestleMania Recall: Chris Benoit wins the World Title.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
I certainly don't mind the occasional legends match from a strictly markout standpoint, and if it's only going to take over a small part of the show, then all the better. Hell, I wish Vince McMahon would bring back Slamboree for the sole purpose of putting over the Hall of Fame with a match or two involving some of the inductees who might still be able to go. So no, the match wasn't as good as it would have been 10 or 15 years ago, but it's nice to simply be a fan once a while and enjoy two guys who have given their all for over 30 years apiece.
Segment 7
Another Shelton Benjamin "I did bad stuff as a kid but I'm OK now" video.
Orton has Candace, Melina and Maria in the ring with him. He's required to deliver the hottest show possible, and what's a hot show without hot women? But there's something missing: More hot women. So bring out Christy Hemme, then My Future Wife, who's in her hometown. But why are the women out here? It's the time for giving, so it's time to give the fans the first-ever Raw Lingerie fashion time. OK, so they've had no time prepare, and Spike TV won't give us more time tonight, so they'll just have to undress themselves in the ring. Melina's first, and why do I get an Alyssa Milano vibe from her? Candace is next, followed by Maria, then Christy (who asks Randy to take her dress off for her), and finally hometown girl Stacy (who also asks Randy to help her undress). Orton then asks for a group hug.
We do have some of that wrestling stuff tonight though, as the World Title and World Tag Team Titles are still on the line.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Hot chicks? Check. Relevance to wrestling? None. This is what happens when you book the entire roster into one match and need to fill another hour and a half, I guess.
Segment 8
Triple H discusses his role in Blade: Trinity.
One fall for the World Tag Team Championship: La Resistance vs. William Regal and Eugene �
Eugene and Rob Conway start. Side headlock and a shoulderblock by Eugene. Chain wrestling sequence, and Regal tags in. Hard forearm by Conway. Tag to Sylvain Grenier, who pounds away at Regal and gets a near fall. Conway tags in and pounds away before getting a near fall. Front facelock. A series of knees and a right hand, then a shot for Eugene on the apron. Another front facelock, and Regal backdrops Conway before tagging Eugene. Thesz press with punches by Eugene, and he dumps the illegal man to the floor. Airplane spin to Conway and up to the top for a flying axhandle, and Grenier has to make the save. The champions go for Au Revoir, but Regal pulls Grenier out of the ring, and Eugene takes Conway down with a stunner for the pin at 3:46. Bring the kiddies in for the celebration! But out comes Maven to apparently turn full-fledged heel, and he attacks Eugene and rams him into the steel ringsteps.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Not bad, not good either. What it does do is, hopefully, push La Resistance out of the Tag Team Title picture for a little while so we can try to establish an actual tag team division on Raw. Granted, Maven and random partner might not necessarily be the answer, but both brands need more tag teams to spice up the respective tag team divisions, so any change at this point is refreshing.
Segment 9
A look at the Raw Interactive standings.
Trish Stratus runs into Chris Jericho, who thinks she looks good with a nose guard. She doesn't care that she lost tonight because she's still champion. She forgot Chris Jericho is the GM next week, so we're going to have a party. And to have a party, you need hot chicks. And to have hot chicks, let's have Trish Stratus defend the Women's Title against Lita in Charlotte next week.
The women have autographed their lingerie, and you can bid on it all at wweauction.com.
Flair yells at Batista for eliminating him since that "mistake" could cost Triple H the World Heavyweight Title since now nobody can lay down for him. Triple H then comes in to complain about defending in a triple threat match despite the fact that he was supposed to defend against like 25 guys earlier, and Batista looks on intently.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Just please end the Trish-Lita feud next week, no matter who wins. But if Trish can win the match while you're doing it, all the better.
Segment 10
A new ad for WWE 24/7. My cable company BETTER pick this one up.
Triple Threat Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Edge vs. Chris Benoit vs. Triple H �
Benoit and Edge begin to brawl right from the beginning, and Triple H wisely stays back in the corner and lets them go at it. Edge sends Benoit to the floor with a baseball slide and follows him to the floor. Knee to the back. Stomps. Edge drops Benoit throat first onto the guardrail. Forearm to the back, and Edge throws Benoit into the ring. Triple H prevents Edge from reentering the ring, then whips Benoit hard into the turnbuckle. Three covers bring about three counts of 2. Right hand. Corner whip, but Hunter runs into the boot, and Benoit fights back with chops. Hunter with a knee to the gut, but Benoit ducks a clothesline and takes the champ down with a belly-to-back suplex. Going for another, but Triple H's elbow backs Benoit into Edge's forearm. Stomps by both heels onto Benoit. Edge begins to pound away at Triple H. Hunter reverses a corner whip, but he runs into Edge's boot. Benoit with chops to both men, then a double forearm for both men. More chops. Benoit with a snap suplex to the champion, then a clothesline that sends both opponents over the top rope. Tope suicida.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
So far so good. They're hammering home the point of this one being every man for himself, and they're also highlighting that the first pinfall wins it by having one man get sent to the floor every so often.
Segment 11
Triple H is on the floor, so the battle's between Edge and Benoit. Benoit drops Edge stomach first onto the top rope, then suplexes him back into the ring. Sharpshooter, and Triple H runs in and gets met with the Crippler Crossface. Out come Flair and Batista to break it up, and Batista levels Benoit with a clothesline. That brings out Orton, who sends Flair and Batista back to the locker room. Batista leaves quietly while Flair throws a fit. Edge rolls up a distracted champion for 2, then pounds away. Triple H catches Edge with a spinebuster for 2. Edge avoids a suplex and hits the DDT for 2. Edge goes for the spear but runs into the high knee. Pedigree time, but Edge counters it into the slingshot into the turnbuckle. Benoit back in with a release German to Hunter, then he snap suplexes Edge right onto Triple H's face. Hunter rolls to the floor in agony. Edge avoids the German suplex, but not the Sharpshooter. Edge tries to reach the ropes, but Benoit pulls him back to the center of the ring. Hunter sends Orton into the ringpost and finally runs in for the save. Benoit reverses a Triple H corner whip, then sends Edge shoulder first into the champion. Chop and a corner whip to Edge. A corner whip to Triple H, and Edge barely avoids the incoming champion, who sails over the top rope to the floor. Benoit with the rolling Germans to Edge. Signaling for the headbutt, but Hunter is in. Pedigree attempt, but Benoit backdrops him over the top rope. Benoit up top, but Edge prevents the diving headbutt. Benoit headbutts Edge off the top rope and into Earl Hebner. Triple H shoves Benoit off the turnbuckle...then he grabs a chair. He goes to use it, but Orton is in the ring to prevent it. He sends Hunter to the floor and gloms the champion with the chair, and Triple H falls over the guardrail. Edge goes to spear Benoit, but Benoit counters it into the Crippler Crossface. Out comes Mike Chioda to officiate, and Edge rolls Benoit over for the pin at 14:24. BUT WAIT! Earl Hebner has come to, and he saw Edge tap out as Chioda was finishing the three count, and even with Randy Orton mediating, they can't come to a decision before they go off the air. **3/4
END OF SHOW
Jesus Christ, you have to be kidding me. They can't even get Triple H losing the title right. I see what they're going for here: They're playing off of the finish of the battle royal to create controversy in the title picture. Unfortunately, they left fans with a cliffhanger finish that's only going to serve to let Triple H sneak back into the title picture. Common sense would dictate that there's no possible way Triple H can be involved in whatever the solution is since the controversy is between Edge and Benoit -- so WWE logic dictates that Triple H will be champion again by the end of next week regardless. And why in the hell would Edge tap out when he's got Benoit's shoulders down for a 2 count at that point anyway?
Overall, I liked this show overall. The wrestling was decent but unspectacular as usual, and outside of the pure time-filler lingerie fashion show, there was actually quite a bit of storyline development tonight. How they handle the non-finish of the main event from here could go a long way to whether people actually care about the future of the company or not, because if this is merely a way to make Triple H seem vulnerable but not keep the title, then they could end up alienating the people that are only still around to see Triple H lose the title.
I'm back Thursday with SmackDown, but the feedback and stuff can go here.
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