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" The Gravel Pit "
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TNA
WWE Raw, January 10th, 2005
Posted by Nik Johnson on Jan 10, 2005, 22:32
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Live from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida it's Monday night Raw on Monday, January 10th 2005
Triple H is out in his suit, shades and with HIS title belt, and Ric Flair.
He cuts a promo about how he's the best, and it wasn't "politics" that got him the World Heavyweight title. He puts down everyone as below him, including a non-too-subtle jab at JBL. He calls himself "god" in the ring, which is hilarious. Here we go as he points out that it's his 10th title win - losing it to himself was a touch of genius. He claims that people thought 2004 was the end of HHH's peak, and the start of his downfall. That was actually 2001. Shut the fuck up, Hunter. If you've not got a point to make, shut up.
Flair gets a moderate face reaction as he takes the mic, but is booed when he demands the fans' respect for HHH. HHH calls out the ultimate team player, Big Dave~!
Dave is looking uberpimp tonight. He shows HHH how to wear shades with a suit with STYLE. However, before he is able to say anything, Randy Orton is out to stare them all down. JR puts over his courage for facing down all three of them.
HHH dives in with a shoot jab at the "Legend Kil - or should I say Buzz Killer". Orton ignores him and is pissed that Big Dave helped HHH in the elimination chamber. Orton has footage of HHH not helping Dave. HHH could have saved Batista when he was being pinned from the RKO, but chose not to. HHH doesn't want to see it, and tries to leave, but Dave grabs him by the wrist and wants to see the footage. Footage is rolled, and Dave even manages to take his shades off with style. I'm screaming at HHH to say he was too badly hurt to help. HHH does so, in his Patronising, Obviously Lying Voice. Orton rolls more footage, with HHH being just fine on Dave's shoulders post match.
Orton is in a great role here, as the bitter ex Evolution member that's acting as the good angel on Dave's shoulder, telling him how things really are, with HHH being the devil, trying to spin Dave in the other direction. Orton demands a title shot TONIGHT. Cue Bischoff in... 3... 2...
And shockingly, here's Bischoff. Fucking hell, could this be more paint by numbers? I wonder if he'll make the match for the Rumble. And yes, he will, but it's Batista vs. Orton for the title shot tonight. I like that. It's created an interesting dynamic between HHH and Batista, whereby Batista is coming out of the enforcer role, and beginning to realise that it's possible for him to hold the title. Meanwhile, HHH is in a position of losing control over Batista, and Orton is shit stirrer extraordinaire.
Commercial time.
Quick video promo for Raw in Japan.
Match 1: Royal Rumble Qualifier, Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven
Good work on giving away a match that we paid for just 24 hours ago. That won't cheapen the PPVs. I swear, if this match lasts more than 3 seconds, it'll be a slap in the face for everyone that paid for it. And� it is. Brilliant.
Dull punching and kicking opening, as Maven shows the full extent of his Tough Enough training, with a... side headlock. More lame offence continues, as we get a missed elbow drop. Maven is dire, he's like a low grade Coach. Stinger splash (called as such by JR), but a T-Bone is blocked. It's good to see that Maven came to this match more prepared. However, that's negated as he catches Shelton's foot mid-kick and holds it there. Not quite as contrived as people falling into the 619 or stinkface position, but equally irritating. Shelton, of course, spin-kicks him and wins with the T-Bone.
What in the hell was the point of that? That's 3 quick jobs in a row by Maven (apparently as a result of their horrible house show matches. Just take him off TV instead of killing him dead like this. Sure, it makes Shelton look a little better, but what about next time Maven is beaten? Whoever beats him gets nothing from it.
Commercial
Match 2: Hassan vs. The Hurricane
On the way out, Lawler claims he "wasn't at [his] best" last night, and offers to go again. That's slightly heelish, and makes Lawler look like he's just making excuses for losing to Hassan. At least point out that Hassan had help, and there was a degree of cheating in there. Hassan says the same thing he's been saying for the last few weeks, as the crowd "USA" and "WHAT?" him. He's boring already.
Diavari interrupts early, as Hassan falls over from a clothesline. Jesus, what a worker. Poor Hurricane, by the way, being stuck on job duty after not being around for a bit. Nobody cares about this match at all. I swear, if Lawler or Ross say "Love it or leave it" with regard to America again, I'll go mental. Shining Wizard misses, but Hassan's as yet unnamed DDT finishes in just a couple of minutes. Really a shining night for wrestling so far, with two shitty squashes. This is 2005 and not 1995, right?
Another commercial. I don't know how you guys tolerate so many all the time.
HHH is backstage with Batista, and tells him he has his back against Orton, and that Dave deserves the title shot. Dave shoots back with, "eventually we all get what we deserve"
Edge gets his chance to qualify for the Rumble... next! It's great that they are building the importance of the Rumble like this (although they've never really bothered with it before), but the Rumble is already a proven draw. Still, it's a nice excuse to make matches, and any match that has a reason for it is preferable to one that's hastily thrown together for no reason.
More commercials? Jesus
Match 3: Edge vs. Rhyno, Royal Rumble qualifier
Rhyno initially demonstrates his power by picking Edge off the ground, and dragging him into the ringposts. Edge not being at 100% is played up after the elimination chamber, but their time in team RECK isn't. Rhyno brings more power moves, and focuses his offence on the damaged ribs of Edge, building nicely towards the gore. Edge blocks the gore with a big boot, and goes for one of his own. It hits, and his reverse sharpshooter thing finishes. If the rib work had been reversed, and aimed towards Rhyno's ribs, we'd have had a psychologically well built match. Or even have Rhyno win the thing. But we didn't.
Edge gets on the stick, and he's still pissed about being superkicked by HBK. He's actually got a good point here, and he's a brilliantly well rounded character. He calls out HBK and gets nothing, which just serves to make him look more of a bitch, and gives him something else to be pissed about. Nobody mentions that it was an accident having Edge spear HBK last night, which is slightly egregious.
Yet another commercial break
Edge calls HBK "selfish". Well observed. He continues justifying every move between himself and HBK. This'd work great with video clips to remind us more than just, "I was in a battle royal and got screwed". Frustrated Edge rocks. Here's the showstopper though.
What's the deal with the copyright thing coming up mid-show?
Shawn plays to a small "You screwed Bret" chant brilliantly. Going over and actually acknowledging them, and then telling them "not to mess with my TV time". Nicely done, Shawn. He even gets in a dig about Canadians in Florida, but I'm not sure what he's on about. Shawn offers Edge some fatherly advice, telling him to forget about the past, win the rumble and earn the title at Mania. Edge likes the idea, but you know what he likes better? *slap* They brawl, and not even the gang of referees can keep them apart.
Commercial break, and the next 55 minutes best be commercial free.
Edge and HBK are brawling outside, which isn't really showing how much they hate each other. The two of them going all out in the ring would have been much more effective. Who moves around that much when they fight, really?
Simon Dean is out and on the stick. He calls the crowd "ugly and fat" as we go to Shitty Cheap Heat Tactic #24. He's selling the Simon System fat burning pills. This is shit. Simon says he has enough tablets for one superstar who's over 300lbs and used to wear a mask. JR speculates that it's Rosey, which means it's Kane. Simon shits himself. I hope Kane pulls his head off or something, this is a dire gimmick Simon has going - it's basic, boring and retarded. Kane eats a tablet and hates them, and jams them down Simon's throat before beating crap into him. Cure an attempted belt whipping and almost chokeslam as Snitsky takes forever to hit the ring, so Kane has to look like a fuckwit choking Simon for a while. Back of the head shot with a chair. Kane bites a condom full of "blood" and has Random Internal Injuries. Kane is reinjured. I hoped we'd seen the last of these two last night, in a stinker of a match. But no, it looks like this is getting dragged out again.
Commercial
JR puts over WWE.com and Puerto Rican hospitality, while still attempting to make the EC sound better than it is.
Flair tells HHH that he doesn't think Batista is believing him. HHH is going to motivate him, by getting Flair to remind him that he has a bad record against Orton. He's big on "negative re-enforcement" apparently. A HHH smirk reveals far more though. Flair was on great form here, I still love his mannerisms.
Match 4: Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit vs. Christian and Tyson Tomko
It's great how they're putting over the EC by having everyone in it bandaged up in some way, but competing less than 24 hours after the show somewhat negates that.
Has Tomko shown any skill whatsoever in the ring, yet?
Christian understandably gets the early advantage, even when Jericho breaks a headlock, he remains in control. Jericho attempts the Walls, but precedent shows that with an injured arm (his right is bandaged) he can't get the hold on, and this holds true here. Benoit is in better shape than Jericho, and manages to hold an advantage early on over Christian, but he can't hold onto it. Even after making something of a comeback with a snap suplex, he's unable to get straight up. Tyson shows a remarkable lack of psychology as he ignores Benoit's injured ribs, despite him begging Tomko to hit them. Christian is somewhat better at this, as he drops Benoit ribs-first onto the guard rail. It seems that Tyson has caught onto this, but in actuality it was just co-incidence that he hit Benoit in the ribs, as he makes no further attempt to hit them.
Christian brings a smart strategy, hanging Benoit between the ropes, then baiting Jericho into the ring, allowing Tomko to attack Benoit without being detected.
A contrived "heel holds face, and then when the partner attempts to attack, the face ducks so the heel hits his partner" leads to Christian being kicked in the ribs by Tyson. Jericho's arm heals well enough for him to get the Walls on Tyson, while Benoit puts Christian in the Crossface. Both guys tap for the Chris' to win. Some nice internal psychology designed to put over the elimination chamber works well, but if Christian and Tomko had been a better team, and WWE wanting to put them over more, then they would have won. That would have worked a lot better with the story of the match, but this does show the Chris' determination and willpower
Backstage, Flair is back with HHH and Dave is not happy. Flair calling him "Dave" owns. HHH is going to prove he supports Dave... tonight.
Commercials
"Match" 5: Christy vs. Joy, lingerie pillow fight
Why even bother making this a match? It's a shitty, flimsy excuse to get them out there, as if we even needed one. Come out, take your clothes off, and fuck off again. I'm such a romantic. Guest referee is Candice Something, who's wearing fuck all and wiggles a ridiculous amount when she walks. Maria is first out, and fuck this, I'm not reviewing it, I'll just look at them. It came about from Christy ripping her top off in a fight-thing in the pool at NYR though. Christy is way too excited about the world. Lillian can barely keep a straight face as she explains the rules - you can use pillows as a weapon, and a 3 count wins. Lillian gets involved, and it's a 3 way fight. Their mothers must be so proud. Christy hits Candice with a pillow, as she takes a horrible bump against the ropes and onto the ground. The "match" was as you'd expect. Christie won, I think. Waste of fucking airtime.
Commmmmmmercial
Next week, it's Jericho vs. Benoit on Raw, but... why?! They were friends two minutes ago. Also, Kane vs. Snitsky. I'm glad I (figuratively, since I didn't) paid $35 for the privilege of seeing it last night. That's great planning and foresight, thanks WWE.
HHH is out with Flair, as they take a seat at ringside. HHH points out the belt and holds it up towards Orton, who is figuratively and literally so close, yet so far from it. Big Dave is out next, as HHH applauds him. See this is where WWE are flawed - they're willing to give this away for free, along with Jericho / Benoit next week, and Orton / HHH last week, yet they want us to pay for Heidenreich vs. Taker. Whassupwidat.
Anyway...
Match 6: Randy Orton vs. Batista
Batista overpowers Orton at every opportunity, which is consistent with his character and how he acted against Benoit last week. When Batista is dropkicked out of the ring (with customary horrible bump through the top two ropes), HHH and Flair immediately surround him to help him, which is showing HHH's new plan - now it's not the case that HHH needs Batista, but Batista needs him.
Commersafaspogiical
Shockingly, we're not in a rest hold. Batista gets Orton on the outside, and overpowers him yet again, mercilessly throwing him face first onto the ring apron, and the crowd barrier. We get some work on the RKO arm of Orton, throwing him shoulder-first into the ringpost. Orton's head is pushed into the ringpost by Batista's foot, and then he is choked with his head bent back over the apron. Housemate predicts that HHH will hit Orton and get Dave DQed. Orton is getting nothing here, as Batista brings the new and different offense. Reverse chinlock, and Orton slowly makes his way to the ropes. The selling by Orton and the power of Batista makes the hold look believable as a finish, rather than as a rest. As Orton grabs the ropes, Batista is pissed and angrily clubs away on his back. A huge powerslam and spinebuster negate the Orton attempted comeback, but he counters the Batista-Bomb, and lays Dave out with a DDT.
Orton really shouldn't be making a comeback after all this, but it's showing his intensity well. Flair gets involved and stops the comeback, and he keeps attempting to get in the ring in the hilarious, over the top Naitch way. HHH offers Batista a chair, Batista doesn't want it, and Orton jams him into it to get the title shot for the Rumble. Dave is NOT happy, as HHH protests with him. He waves the chair in HHH's direction, but slams it down, still pissed off. Can't HHH just give him a title shot to make up for it?
Not a bad match at all, despite the rather flimsy finish. Dave looked strong and motivated, and did exactly what was expected of him. Orton came over looking a little weak, perhaps, but that'll be forgotten when WWE ask us to pay $35 for a match we've just seen for free. On the other hand, it does seem like we're getting Batista / HHH at Mania.
A fairly decent show, as the build towards HHH / Batista is becoming stronger. The HHH self-congratulatory bullshit is just as infuriating as ever, but what can you do? A bad night in the ring, with two full squashes, and no evenly matched contests. The selling of the elimination chamber was done well, trying to put it on hell in a cell levels of notoriety, but it wasn't helped by 5 out of the 6 participants wrestling just 24 hours after the show. Simon Dean is dead on his ass, and hopefully he'll go back to OVW for a while � seriously, the guy's gimmick is rubbish and offers nothing. I also love how many big matches and PPV rematches they're giving away for free. Why do you think buyrates are down, again?
On the plus side, I found a Googlewhack. Go me.
Feedback and thoughts to [email protected]. Thanks.
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