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TNA
The Royal Treatment: RAW (6.20.05)
Posted by Peter Kostka on Jun 21, 2005, 13:06
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Live from Phoenix, Arizona. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler your hosts.
Tonight: Kurt Angle vs. Batista and the wedding of Edge and Lita.
John Cena kicks things off by hitting the ring as we see Chris Jericho�s attack on him last week, which led to his inclusion in the WWE title match at Vengeance. Cena�s only been on RAW a few weeks, but he�s getting how things work around here; if someone wants to do something, they do it. Jericho tried to make it personal last week, but, in the case of making things personal, �you ain�t seen nothing yet.� He calls Jericho out and, since he�s in the mood, decides to call out Christian as well so they can have Vengeance early, but Mohammed Hassan comes out instead. Cena�s like a typical American, bitching and whining when he really doesn�t have anything to complain about, unlike Hassan, who was screwed out of the IC title last week. He goes into his spiel, but Cena interrupts and tells him his act is old and that people don�t hate him because he�s an Arab-American; they hate him because he�s an Asshole-American. Since there�s no Jericho or Christian out there, he decides to challenge Hassan instead. Eric Bischoff comes out, telling Cena that �unlike other General Managers that let you do what you want�, Bischoff calls the shots. Unless HHH wants something, or they need Stone Cold to pop a rating, of course. He decides to make their match for the WWE title and the winner defends at Vengeance. Cena�s ready to go now, but Hassan backs off, saying he needs to prepare first.
Bischoff is now in the ring, ready to announce the third RAW draft pick, declaring that �RAW has done it again!� But first, he brings out the �crown jewel� of last year�s draft Shelton Benjamin. Bischoff commends him on being the longest reigning IC champ in nearly ten years, which gets a little reaction from the crowd, who is assuming JBL is the pick. Bischoff reminds him that he won it at Taboo Tuesday when Chris Jericho didn�t know who he was going to face and starts to point out the irony, but Benjamin rips the mic away and gets that the third pick will face him for the IC title, so let�s bring him out. RAW�s 3rd draft pick is��
Shelton Benjamin � vs. Carlito (IC title match)
He was doing bupkis on SD, so good midcard addition. Benjamin controls to start and Carlito takes a walk, so Benjamin dives out after him, but catches his foot on the top rope a bit, causing him to land short. The ref checks on him as we take a break.
We come back and (big surprise) Carlito has a chinlock on Benjamin. Shelton fights out of it, but Carlito maintains control and slaps on a front facelock. Benjamin fights out again and a double clothesline leads to a double KO. Benjamin is up first and goes to work, but Carlito cuts him off on the top turnbuckle. Benjamin headbutts him off, but almost falls off the top himself and JR is on the ball for once, using the blown dive as the reason that Shelton is struggling. He hits a flying clothesline, but it only gets 2. Carlito fights the Exploder, so Benjamin rams him into the corner and hits a northern lights suplex for another near-fall. He tries a whip, but Carlito hangs on and hits a DDT for 2. He tries a Stroke (front Russian leg sweep), but Benjamin rolls him up for another close 2. He whips and tries the Splash, but Carlito moves, so Benjamin holds on and gets a sunset flip for 2 again and a Samoan drop for yet another 2. He tries a German suplex, but Carlito holds on and rolls him up, grabbing the rope and getting the pin and title.
Rating: 4/10
Thoughts: I�m not all that sure about ending Benjamin�s reign like this, but it�s obvious they�re going with the angle they tried with Cena before Carlito�s injury cut it short. I may have mentioned this already, but I�m sick of that �grabbing the rope for leverage� finish, since it seems like every heel does it now. There are plenty of other ways to have a heel cheat; USE THEM! Besides, how does holding the rope off to the side give you any leverage anyway? Maybe on one shoulder, but it would be more logical to grab the ropes in front of you, wouldn�t it?
Edge preens for the wedding. Meanwhile Maria catches up with Carlito and asks him �How�d you do it?� He tells her to go get him an apple and cuts a victory promo, saying he will be the greatest IC champ in history. Maria returns and Carlto takes a bite and spits apple all over her.
Viscera vs. Simon Dean
Usual squash, even includes the typical heel token offense from Dean (who they should just release already), ending with the Viscera Driver (� Jim Ross) for the pin. Lillian Garcia climbs into the ring and tells Vis that, since they�ll be in Vegas Sunday, she has a feeling that he will �get lucky and hit the jackpot.�
No rating
Thoughts: Normally this makes me think that Lillian is setting him up for something, but A) I have no idea who the hell would be interesting enough to make it worthwhile and B) No one really wants to see the freakin� RING ANNOUNCER turn heel. So count on both happening Sunday.
We see the same recap video of the Diva Search that we saw last week (way to waste everyone�s time guys) and the eight finalists will be announced tonight.
Todd Grisham asks Jericho if his interest in wrestling is renewed now that he�s facing Cena. Jericho answers that he made it interesting for himself because he hadn�t had a World title match in 3 years. Christian interrupts and tells Jericho that he�s overlooking him again and reminds him what happened at Wrestlemania XX. He also says that both his and Cena�s albums �suck.�
They recycle footage AGAIN, this time showing the same Hell in a Cell video HHH showed two weeks ago.
Kurt Angle is with Bischoff in his office and Angle declares he will make Shawn Michaels tap again, then dedicate the victory to Bischoff, a GM he can respect. They then get all chummy and put down Cena in the process.
We see the ring is all set up for the wedding.
Edge comes out, dressed like a 15th century English nobleman or something (with cheap looking �Skull and Crossbones� on his hat and tie, because he�s evil, you see.) Lita comes out in a dress modeled after that open-front shirt she�s worn a few times. They show a video entitled �Edge & Lita: A Love Story� which essentially recaps the whole angle they�re in with Kane and kiss before it�s time. The padre (who must be a real padre, because he sure can�t ACT like one) tells them that there is a �large, strange man that wants to come out here�, but it�s just Snitsky (dressed like the groom in a Redneck wedding), who reads a poem called �It Wasn�t My Fault� that makes Heidenreich seem like a fucking Poet Laureate. The �Boring!� chants break out as we go along, which turn into �Slut!� chants for Lita and she says �If loving you means I�m a slut, then I must be the Slut of the Century!� The padre asks if anyone has any objections�.and Matt Hardy�s music plays. The fans go bonkers, but Matt never comes out and Edge and Lita break out into laughter. �I couldn�t resist� says Edge. Ooooh, that�s gonna make Matt post an angry message on his messageboard today. The padre starts to wrap it up, but Kane peeks out from under the ring and grabs Lita�s foot. Edge gets knocked down and Kane goes to chokeslam Lita, but Edge saves and carries her off. As a consolation prize, Kane Tombstones the padre.
Thoughts: See? No midget ring bearer and no Trish in skimpy lingerie, no one cares. Gotta give them credit with the Matt tease; makes Edge look like an even bigger jerk.
Kane chokes Da Coach while proclaiming �I�m baaaaaaaack!!� I don�t caaaaaaare.
Todd interviews Christy and we look back at Victoria�s attack two weeks ago, followed by Christy snapping last week. Christy shows off some ACTING by grabbing Todd and telling him how �that bitch� Victoria makes her ANGRY. Victoria then smashes something glass on Christy�s head, saying �Guess I am a bitch.� Todd feels her head and discovers she�s bleeding, so he shows off some fine ACTING by screaming for someone to call 911. I think they already have EMTs on duty at the arena, chief.
The EMTs check on Christy, who can�t seem to remember anything that happened. When�s Trish coming back?
John Cena � vs. Mohammed Hassan (w/Daivari) (WWE title)
I�d love to say that these two had a fairly decent 10 minute-ish match, but instead Hassan gets some offense in early, but Cena shrugs it off and squashes him, ending the undefeated streak with the FU in about 2 minutes. Christian and Jericho attack Cena on the ramp and argue amongst themselves, but don�t come to blows.
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: Ok, why? Why end Hassan�s undefeated streak, pretty much the only thing that�s really keeping his character afloat, by having Cena treat him like Rene Dupree? Ok, so both guys aren�t very good in the ring; then DON�T PUT THEM TOGETHER!! I mean, Cena�s already incredibly over with the crowd, so why completely cut the legs out from under a guy that could use maybe not a win, but a good showing against the most over guy in the company? Horrible booking for the second time tonight.
Now it�s time to meet the finalists for JiggleFest �05�..er��the 2005 Diva Search:
Leyla: From Toronto, Canada. She�s obsessed about her hair (which looks like Melina�s a bit).
Ashley: From Long Island. Seems to have a Christy-like attitude. My favorite so far.
Krystal: She�s black and has short hair. That�s all I could gather.
Cameron:: I got nothing here.
Alexis: Also black, and seems to have an �I�m all that� attitude. Will be the Carmella of the competition, mark my words.
Summer: From Louisiana. Has big (and probably fake) tits, so she�ll be pushed to the moon by WWE.
Simona: Raised in Austria and Italy. Also has big tits, so look for her and Summer to be the final two.
Note: This will probably be the most amount of space I give to these girls, so relish it now. We see that they will debut next week.
JR and Lawler run down the Vengeance card and a rematch for the IC title is now signed. Angle comes out for our main event as we take a break.
Kurt Angle vs. Batista
Batista drives his shoulder into Angle to start and tries a spinebuster, but Angle counters and slaps on the Anglelock, but Batista kicks free. Angle sends him shoulder first into the post and slaps on an armbar, but Batista counters with a side slam and clotheslines Angle to the floor. He sends Angle into the post and the apron, but HHH and Ric WHOO Flair run down to attack Batista. They roll him in the ring and Angle joins them, but Shawn Michaels runs down for the save. He and Batista send the heels packing, and Batista wins the match by DQ. Bischoff heads out and says they aren�t ending the show like that (especially since they have 10 minutes left) so he makes a tag match: Angle and HHH vs. Michaels and Batista.
HHH and Kurt Angle (w/Ric WHOO Flair) vs. Shawn Michaels and Batista
We come back with HHH having Michaels in a sleeper, but he fights out and hits a flying forearm, nipping up and hitting Angle which draws him in and distracts the ref, which allows Flair to come in and chop block Michaels in the knee. Angle and HHH take turns working over the knee for a good portion of the match until Michaels scores with an enziguri on Angle and tags Batista while HHH tags in. He fights everyone off and hits a powerslam on HHH, but Angle saves so Michaels takes Angle out and sends him into the crowd, turning the match back into a 1-on-1 affair. HHH charges, but Batista catches him with a spinebuster and has one for Flair as well, but turns into a Pedigree that IMMEDIATELY puts him out for the pin. HHH celebrates with the belt and says some things to Batista that doesn�t get picked up and we fade.
Rating: 3/10
Thoughts: Ok, so Batista is on the apron for the majority of the match and is fresh as a daisy when he comes in, but ONE Pedigree puts him out? Yeah, I can�t even ACT surprised here. In WWE logic, this usually means Batista is winning, but this IS HHH we�re talking about, but he HATES Smackdown by the sound of things, so I highly doubt he�ll take the World Title over there, so expect some crappy trade that puts Cena back on SD in July. I also doubt HHH will take a Batista Bomb on top of the cell, so I�m not really that confident that their match will be all that great either.
Final Thoughts: Just some shoddy, shoddy booking this week, with most of the results for Vengeance either obvious (Kane wins, Cena wins, Carito retains, HBK wins) or irrelevant (Christy/Victoria). I�d say maybe Smackdown would pick up the slack, but they�ve lost three of the reasons anyone�s watched it to RAW already, and there�s still picks left.
Vengeance fallout next week, so come back then.
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