Movies / TV
MonDVDay News Update
Posted by Jay Spree on Sep 9, 2002, 16:02
What’s On The Box: Some Charlie Sheen crap
What’s In The Player: X-Men
No, just to confirm to those people who asked, those aren’t set-up jobs by me that Doc Hendrix guy really IS on the Predator DVD. Here he is again, in case you missed it:
Pretty scary, huh? It’s like having flashbacks to when Gordy could work and when Hayes was still worth half a crap. Actually, ol’ Purely Sexy isn’t the only wrestling personality on the Predator DVD. Recognise these two chaps?
Dunno about you, but to me they look like a certain pair of Hawaiian shirt-clad, hat-wearing, front row-sitting ECW fans. Gee, who’d have thought it was such a monumental film?
Jesus Christ, it must be something to do with the summer, because this is just a really, really, REALLY slow news time for our favourite pastime. I mean, there’s just been NOTHING happening. Bloody hell, it’s getting difficult enough just filling TWO POXY HEADLINES. I dunno, maybe October things will pick up, but it’s just a total shitter right now.
I seem to remember promising a RoboCop review last week, and trust me it IS on the way. Only now I’ve gone the whole hog and expanded it to a two-page review, with twenty screens and LOTS more swearing. Plus, I really rip the shit out of Robo 3, which has got to be worth admission in itself.
Come on then, let's get this over with before I start losing interest.
WHAT’S HOT THIS WEEK
Bleh nothing worth losing sleep over.
A year on, and perhaps I was being overcynical, but the abundance of vaguely-related “documentaries” and “tributes” never materialised. So maybe there is some good in this world after all. In any case, there have been some rave reviews about 9/11 The Filmmaker’s Commemorative Edition, which was aired on, um, one of the networks last year hosted by Robert De Niro. Who isn’t actually on the DVD issue of the doc, but nonetheless, I’m told it’s definitely worth picking up, especially since (I would imagine) a cut of the proceeds will go towards the Firefighter’s families or some such worthy cause.
Speaking of worthy causes getting cuts from merchandise sales, my girlfriend recently landed a contract at a law firm, and as a little well done present, I picked her up a Lionel Hutz figure from Forbidden Planet. The coolest thing about it (except for the fact that she was INSISTENT upon leaving it MOC after years of chastising me for doing the same) was a little note on the packet saying that all proceeds from the figure would go to Phil Hartman’s kids. That shit is just so hardcore.
Changing Lanes was a pretty good little flick, with Affleck and SamueL delivering their usual Guerrero and Benoit-esque performances. The disc is half decent not great but still probably the most worthwhile pickup this week. Unless you haven’t already snapped up Baz Luhrrrrman’s Red Curtain Trilogy boxset, with the very tasty special editions of Moulin Rouge and Rome + Juliet, as well as the somewhat less tasty Strictly Ballroom. It’s what DVD was made for, baby.
Actually, scratch both of those the must-have purchase of the week is Introduction to Hong Kong Legends. For £3.99 (US$6.22!!!) you get the complete Jet Li film The Hitman, as well as shitload of trailers and featurettes for the HKL label and their catalogue of flicks, which includes everyone from Bruce Lee to Jackie Chan. God DAMN, that’s worth a purchase.
Something moderately interesting for Transformers fans. It’s actually been out a week or so already, but Transformers Takara is the first batch of episodes from the previously Japan-only run of TF cartoons. I’ve kind of fallen out of touch with TF canon, but I do know that since this series occurred out of sync with the series we were and are getting in the west, a lot of the happenings may seem pretty weird (or even the lack of happenings here for instance, the Headmasters stuff never took place). Even some of the names are different one of the bots is called “Billy” for crap’s sake. The only slightly shakey thing about the set is the English voice-acting, which probably never should have happened. It’s Region 2-only, but you can find it at Play.com if you’re interested in tracking it down it’s certainly worth it for sheer collectibility.
Wrestling-wise there’s a couple of ECW discs out, WrestlePalooza ’97 and Cyberslam ’99. Both are, of course, barebones, and I’m not even sure the PPVs themselves are all that great. Again, if you want to pick up almost the entire ECW PPV (and pre-PPV ECW events like Big Ass Extreme Bash), check out deltamusic.co.uk. XPW has a DVD out this week too, but since the show almost saw the deaths of two workers, I can’t say I’m all that compelled to plug it. EAT SHIT AND DIE ROB BLACK!
What will no doubt be a Murdoch-ised mishmash of revisionist history and propaganda, Twentieth Century Fox The Blockbuster Years may nonetheless prove quite interesting. “Behind-the-scenes footage, rare screen tests and insightful interviews highlight this astonishing two-hour look at one of Hollywood's greatest dream factories.” Yep, there’s that propaganda creeping in. But with names like Oliver Stone and George Lucas on hand, there’s probably something there worth twenty bucks.
I’m sure I’ll get the shit flamed out of me for saying this, but I can’t say I’ve ever enjoyed an Alec Guinness film outside of Star Wars. It’s not just some anti black & white movie prejudice either maybe I’ve just been watching the wrong ones or something, but they just send me to fucking sleep. Nonetheless, for those of you who saw Obi Wan as a low-point of his career, rejoice at the release of the five-disc Alec Guinness Collection comprising The Man in the White Suit, The Lavender Hill Mob, The Ladykillers, Kind Hearts and Coronets, and The Captain’s Paradise. Yup, you go and check those out I’ll be here watching Star Wars.
And finally, a couple of Ozzploitation discs this week as The Black Sabbath Story Volumes 1 & 2 and Double-O: Unauthorised attempt to cash in on the current Ozzy fever. Avoid them like the plague, I say.
Daddy of The Week: Oh boy oh boy, this was a no-brainer. I would strongly recommend scraping together twenty bucks from the back of whatever couch or old person you can find and go track down Dracula the Dirty Old Man. I could make all kinds of jokes about it, but it’s so much more fun to just read the special features yourself:
- Blood-Soaked Trailers for "Bloodsuckers," "The Body Beneath," "Caged Virgins," "Daughters of Darkness," "The Legend of Blood Castle," "A Taste of Blood," "The Vampire and the Ballerina" and the combo "Vampire's Coffin" and "The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy"
- Two Adult Fanged Featurettes: Dracula gets a pre-Viagra love potion in "Dracula and the Dirty Old Witch," and Count Spatula (played by John Holmes!) learns about lovemaking in "Sex and the Single Vampire"
- Ghastly Gallery of Ghoulish Comic Cover Art with Horror Audio Rarities!
- Full-screen format
Yeah, that’s about the worst DVD in the history of everything.
IT’S TREK, CAPTAIN, BUT A WHOLE LOT CRAPPIER
Ah, DS-9 the bastard child of the Trek universe. I must admit, I never really got into it myself, but I don’t think it was really as bad as everyone else thought it was. But then again, I WAS only watching to see Terri Farrell’s bounce. And thinking about it, Avery Brookes is a fucking APPALLING actor (if you ever meet me in person, I do a mean Avery Brookes impression. “See my range: anger… depreression… SAD-NESS…”).
In any case, a number of sources are reporting that Star Trek: Deep Space Nine The Complete First Season is tentatively scheduled for a Stateside release on February 25th. The releases are likely to be the same sort of fare as the TNG boxsets, which will mean they’ll be simultaneously underwhelming and impressive. Of course, if they can get little miss Becker in there with one of those tight red tops doing interviews, that should be pretty cool. And I’d be interested to hear Kira and, um, the fruity English one (you know, the doctor) talk about that whole abduction thing.
In somewhat less definitive, but nonetheless related news, Voyager is likely due to start blazing the DVD trail late 2003-early 2004. Which is, um, great, if you’re one of the seven or so people who enjoyed the show.
Thanks to the Times and The Bits.
HONG KONG PHOOEY
Well isn’t this nice.
Fans of Hong Kong swordplay flicks both the Jet Li wire-fests as well as CG effects-heavy fare can pick up a couple of very tasty boxsets.
Due on November 11th from Hong Kong Legends is the Once Upon A Time In China trilogy. All three OUATIC flicks come on the HKL’s patented extra-laden discs, with rare photo galleries, interviews, documentaries, and best of all, feature length commentaries by HK guru Bey Logan (ichiban!). The set will also contain a set of exclusive Jet Li postcards, and will retail for a teeny, tiny £29.99 (about US$46).
If that’s not good enough, MIA are readying a six-disc boxset of The Storm Riders, A Man Called Hero and The Duel in time for your Christmas lists. The MIA versions are superior to the international versions that most people (including myself) seem to own, thanks to all the features (like the making-of and history of the comic books) having English subs. You also get a fullscreen version of the film to compliment your anamorphic widescreen one, just in case you’re a bit of a sadist. No word on the price, but it’ll probably be thirty quid-ish like the HKL set.
There’s also a Takeshi Kitano trio on the Tokyo Bullets label, featuring Violent Cop, Sonatine and Boiling Point. However, Tokyo Bullets is one of the most sorryass, jock-sniffing HKL-wannabe labels that I wouldn’t bother wasting your cash on it.
Thanks to BulletsNBabes.
And that would appear to be that.
Mercifully, another week is over. Don't forget to spare a thought for those brave men and women on Wednesday, and maybe you should all bear that in mind before you make up your mind about a certain other Middle Eastern territory.
I THOUGHT YOU LIVED AT A SCHOOL~!