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Wrestling > TNA

The Dames' Diatribe on WWE No Mercy 2002
Posted by The Dames on Oct 21, 2002, 04:04

WWE No Mercy 2002


Oh, what a crazy month it’s been in the wrestling world since Unforgiven. The WWE we’ve come to know and love has now become a soap opera of the worst kind. The kind where adultery, lies, sex, murder and SEMEN have come into storylines all of a sudden. If I weren’t so creeped out right now, I probably would have slept through this one. Why am I so creeped out you ask?

The Ring.

I saw the film on Friday night and since then I haven’t been able to sleep properly. For those of you who don’t know, the movie is based on an urban legend of sorts. Basically, if you see a certain videotape, you die in 7 days. The images really stick with you and now, the commercials have become unbearable. So, what do you do when you find out that the movie that just scared the living hell out of you is actually a remake of a Japanese hit film? You buy tickets to see the original, of course, the night before Halloween! That’s if I can make it past Friday without dying.

Anyway, lets get to No Mercy!

Live from the Alltel Arena in Little Rock, Arkansas

Bonus Heat Match: Steven Richards vs. The Hurricane

Match Background:
As far as I know, these two have never met in the ring. If they have, there probably isn’t any important historical background to this match anyway.

The Match: Richards comes into the ring and puts Hurricane’s cape on his back, luring him into some cheap shots. Sunset flip attempt by the Hurricane is blocked, but Richards makes the mistake of taunting the crowd and Hurricane completes the move for two. Nice belly to back by Richards to take over again, followed by a vertical suplex. We get a resthold seconds into the match, but ‘Cane is able to use his Super Strength to get out of it and hit a neckbreaker. JUMPING clothesline by Hurricane gets a pop. Helms goes to the turnbuckles and comes off with the Overcast (Buff Blockbuster) on Richards. Eye of the Hurricane is blocked, but Helms recovers with the SHINING WIZARD~! for two! Hurri-chokeslam is blocked and leads into a NICE Steven-kick for a Very Close two count. The fans chanted along with the count, so you KNOW they bought it. “Hurricane” chant by the crowd. Richards sets Helms on the top for a Superplex but gets thrown off. Helms goes over to him and.....No Way....Uh Uh....Is it? IT IS! VERTEBREAKER~!! for the win! Ross called it the Vertebrainer, by the way and Lawler was confused as to what the hell Helms was even trying.

My Opinion: ¾* Given the fact that these two guys were given about three minutes to work, they sure did get the crowd riled up. It seemed like they were trying too hard to fit in a ton of spots into those three minutes. Seeing the VERTEBREAKER~!! again was an awesome treat, but I have a feeling no one else will be willing to take that move.

PPV Start. Instead of the usual video montage, we get a shot of the Undertaker in the locker room...who is joined by his “brother” Kane. In a nice tongue in cheek comment, Kane says “So...how was YOUR week?”

Now we get the video montage, in two portions. One hyping the Raw main event with the emphasis on the whole Katie Vick fiasco, the other hyping the Hell in a Cell match. The second half of the package is vastly superior as it has the ultra cool footage of former HIAC matches mixed with Latin prayers, narrated by Paul Heyman.

Jericho & Christian vs. Booker T & Goldust for the World Tag Team Titles:
Will Booker T and Goldust FINALLY get the tag gold?

Match Background: This match is a direct extension of the Booker T – Chris Jericho feud that has been building over the past few weeks. Booker T called Jericho a “Sucka”, so Jericho attacked Booker from behind after he had just competed in a steel cage match. The week after, Jericho cost Booker T a falls count anywhere match against the Big Show. Jericho and Christian teamed up for the first time as part of the TLC 4 match that took place on Raw two weeks ago. The following week, they won the tag titles from Kane and the Hurricane in the opener, but not before Jericho was attacked by Booker T prior to the match. A backstage altercation between Jericho and Booker in the back during Jericho and Christian’s tag title victory celebration lead to Raw GM Eric Bischoff making the match for tonight.

The Match: Separate entrances for every participant. I feel compelled to tell you all that Jericho’s beard is growing in length at alarming, Amish levels. Everyone got their own pyro except for Christian. Booker and Christian start out, with The Book taking a distinct advantage with a hard clothesline and sidekick. Goldust comes in and hits a back heel kick on Christian for two. Jericho tries to come in to help but ends up being slingshotted over the top onto his partner, now on the floor. Jericho back in the ring now, gets a 2nd rope dropkick to the face of Goldy. Christian comes in with a side Russian leg sweep on Goldy for 2. “Booker T” chant as he wants into the match up. Christian cuts off the hot tag attempt as he and Jericho take over on Goldust again. Christian misses a dropkick and gets rolled up for 2. Goldust follows it up with a NICE snap powerslam as he goes for the hot tag, but is once again cut off by Y2J. He gets a neckbreaker off though and tags in The Book who becomes a HOUSE EN FUEGO~! He goes for a scissors kick on Jericho, but the leader of Fozzy moves out of the way, ending up on the wrong side of a Booker T spinebuster anyway. Corner rollup by The Book gets 2. Booker goes for another side kick, but Christian pulls Jericho out of way and Booker lands on the ropes. Attempted doubleteam by the heels backfire as Booker gets a double clothesline while making a blind tag to Goldust. Goldust hits them with stereo bulldogs and sets Christian up for the Golden Globes (Shattered Dreams). While the ref is trying to restrain Jericho, he gets it....but Y2J charges at Goldust and ends up on the receiving end of a drop toe hold, into Christians crotch. It looked a little too contrived. Curtain Call attempted is reversed into the Walls of Jericho, but Booker saves Goldust, hitting the scissors kick on Y2J. Goldust goes for the cover, but is pulled out by Christian. Booker comes off the top with a missile dropkick to Jericho.....and we get the SPINAROONIE~! Christian charges with a tag title, but Booker ducks, sending Christian to the outside. He ended up dropping the title in the ring though. While Booker looks on at Christian, Jericho attempts a springboard drop kick.....BUT THE SECOND ROPE SNAPS AND GOES LIMP! Jericho just falls to the mat in a heap, but seemingly alright. A bit of confusion takes place before Goldust bulldogs Jericho for two while the ref is distracted with the second rope and rightfully so! Booker and Christian start brawling in the crowd as Jericho recovers and bulldogs Goldust into the tag title that still in the ring! Jericho climbs his way to the top rope as best as he can and hits a MOONSAULT for the pin! I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jericho use a moonsault to finish anyone in WWE.

My Opinion: Well, that was surely an odd occurrence. The match was going well and seemed to be leading somewhere before the rope simply broke in the ring! Looks like they went right to the finish, understandably. Well, once again, Booker is free to go to the singles route as Jericho and Christian have something to do. Odd man out, like always, is Goldust. Seems like these guys just have the worst luck. This had the potential to be the second best match of the night and it was cut short due to circumstances beyond their control. *1/2.

In the back, Funaki goes to interview Torrie Wilson’s father, Al Wilson. He goes over the history between himself and Dawn Marie, asking him his thoughts on the situation after every clip. All we get is a “uhh....ahh....hmm....” each time. This is really bad. They show the clip from last week’s Smackdown where Torrie found him in the shower with Dawn Marie and bad acting ensued. This all culminates to the big question: “Why were you wearing your clothes in the shower with Dawn Marie”. Al’s answer: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”. So, the past five minutes was basically a set up for a joke that has been done to death since 1998 and is now only funny to the people of Little Rock. If you don’t get the joke...nevermind.

On a side note, I thankfully missed the Torrie Wilson story on Confidential a few months back so I don’t know if this guy is actually her father. If it’s not, they could have gotten an actor who wasn’t so damn wooden.

As the ref’s work in the ring to fix the ropes, they get ready for the next match up.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Match Background:
The aforementioned Al Wilson had been coming to Smackdown the past few weeks to visit his daughter. While he was there, Torrie was facing Dawn Marie in various T&A contests, such as bikini contests and lingerie contests, which she won each time. Every week, however, Dawn Marie kept hitting on Mr. Wilson and this past Thursday, Torrie caught Dawn Marie BUCK NEKKID in the shower with her father (who still had his clothes on). So, now Torrie wants Dawn Marie.....IN THE RING! Yay.

The Match: The match starts out with Torrie hitting a dropkick through the ropes as Dawn Marie was on the ring apron. She gets two clotheslines before Dawn gets on offense. Torrie gets a sunset flip for two. Dawn jumps over the ropes and gets a shoulder block to Torrie’s midsection in a PAINFULLY set up spot, before snapping her neck off the ropes. Torrie comes back with baseball slide to the outside that barely grazed Dawn, but she sold it anyway. Back in the ring, Dawn ends up putting the boots to Torrie. Dawn starts to work the back with her strikes and then puts on a lazy camel clutch. I’ll give her points for the effort in psychology. She transitions it into a double armbar before going for a bodyslam. Headbutt to the midsection gets a 2. Torrie and Dawn get into a catfight and do the usual spot where they roll all over the ref. The ref, Mike Sparks ends up with a huge smile on his face and celebrating, which Dawn Marie takes exception to. Dawn charges Torrie in the corner but gets a boot to the chest. Tazz: “right in the hammers!” Dawn knocks her down with an forearm shot. Torrie comes back with a nice attempt at a snap suplex, which Cole and Tazz wow over. Torrie with a dropkick to a seated Dawn for a pin attempt, but she grabs the bottom rope and Cole gives her credit. Torrie slingshots Dawn into the corner and rolls her up for a 2 count. Dawn gets stun gunned on the top rope and Torrie follows it up with her DREADED swinging neckbreaker for the pin.

My Opinion: We knew it wasn’t going to be a classic, but it wasn’t a stinker at least. Dawn could be alright in the ring if she had some more training. 1/4*

Survivor Series promo.....it’s coming to the Garden, baby! Too bad I’m broke!

Coach is in the back with RVD who cuts a hilariously bad promo parodying Ric Flair. This is the perfect example of why people say he’s got bad mic skills. He’s got a pretty cool new t-shirt on though. It’s a dragon with wings that spell out RVD...and its pointing to himself, ala Rob. As RVD walks away, Coach sees Paul Heyman, Brock and Tracy (the Undertaker’s former lover) and asks them for comments on tonight’s match. Paul and Brock have nothing to say to Coach, but Tracy wants the Undertaker to pay for being a liar and a cheat. Ross then says “she’s a jezebel”. Maybe I’m missing something, but isn’t a jezebel a woman who sleeps around? Either way, I’d rather have her than manly Sara Undertaker any day.

Ric Flair vs. RVD

Match Background:
Last month at Unforgiven, Ric Flair cost RVD the World Heavyweight Title by hitting him in the midsection with a sledgehammer and aligning himself with Triple H. Last week on Raw, he once again cost RVD the match by nailing him in the head with the title. This is a perfect case of poor planning for the PPV. Flair’s interference last month on PPV went practically unanswered by RVD. RVD didn’t even seem like he wanted revenge and never even asked for the match. It was awarded to him by Eric Bischoff for his “gratitude” for Rob’s part in TLC 4.

The Match: It begins with both men brawling on the outside before RVD sends Flair up and over the security rail and hitting a spin kick from the apron. He throws Flair into the ring and hits him with a thrust kick off the top. He follows that up with his cartwheel moonsault for two. Flair begs off but gets dropkicked. RVD sends the Nature Boy into the corner, but he blows the Flair Flip. He needs to stop going for it, he just never hits it anymore. RVD sends Flair into the other corner, but it’s reversed. RVD elbows out and hits him with a springboard thrust kick. Flair comes back the only way he knows how....CHEATING~! A low blow later, Flair clips RVD’s knee and he goes after the leg. Flair with a barrage of punches, kicks and chokes in the corner before the ref demands a break. He does it again in another corner as he has RVD’s leg caught in the ropes. RVD’s selling of the leg is very inconsistent. Flair clips him again as RVD starts selling it again. RVD’s facial expressions as he sells are very over the top. Some more Flair punches in the corner and then he hits a belly to back. It’s TIME to go to school as Flair puts on the Figure Four! RVD rolls over....and rolls again to get to the ropes. RVD sunset flips Flair back into the ring for two and gets a backslide for two as well. RVD misses a dropkick and Flair goes for the Figure Four again, but gets rolled up for another two count. Flair heads up to the top, because he NEVER LEARNS. If you don’t know what happened, you don’t watch enough wrestling. RVD forgets that his leg is hurt and hits a perfect Rolling Thunder. When he gets up, he doesn’t even limp. He then spin kicks Flair and jumps to the top rope, coming off with the Five Star Frogsplash for the win.

My Opinion: Whoever taught Edge the art of selling last month needs to sit down RVD and hold a few seminars with him. One minute, he’s selling the leg (poorly, I might add) and then he starts walking on it with no problem, executing high flying maneuvers like he was 100%. Flair’s offense has been cut down to chops, the occasional suplex and the Figure Four. This one just didn’t click. *

In the back, Big Show is talking to Stephanie McMahon when Eric Bischoff walks up, PISSED OFF about the fact that Big Show is speaking to the enemy. Big Show tells him that he’s ANGRY because he hasn’t been on a PPV since July, hasn’t headlined in years and how he’s not being utilized right. There are SO many more people who deserve this storyline. He blames it on Bischoff, who takes exception to Show’s tone and he forbids him to speak to Stephanie. Show grabs him by the throat and pushes him around, threatening to hurt him if he’s not in main events soon. Is anyone else happy to see a new Big Show push? I didn’t think so.

Jim Ross reminds us that tonight will be the last night the IC title will be active in WWE....and we take an extended look at the history of the title. Most of the former IC champions are shown in the video, including those in the past few years, such as The Godfather, Val Venis and Test. They even extended the “Controversy” section to show 1-2-3 Kid’s interference in the Royal Rumble ’96 IC title match between Goldust and Razor Ramon!

What I really liked about the Intercontinental title, at least in its peak years, was that it was the title that usually had the best wrestlers in the promotion vying for it. The heavyweights were stinkin’ up the joint in the 80’s and 90’s while guys like Savage, Steamboat, Bret Hart, Curt Hennig, Kerry Von Erich, Shawn Michaels and Davey Boy Smith were all going for the belt. Some of the greatest WWF/WWE matches of all time were IC title matches, such as the ladder matches between Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon, Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper and Bret Hart vs. The British Bulldog. The IC champion always seemed to be on the verge of breaking into the main event scene at any time, until its late years and was truly an asset in the elevation of many wrestlers, such as The Ultimate Warrior and Honky Tonk Man. To be a 2-time IC Champ was once an amazing accomplishment as title reigns were few and far between. The title had started to become less important in the mid 90’s, but once the title was passed around to practically anyone in the promotion around 1999, such as The Godfather, Road Dogg and Chyna, it really began to lose its credibility. It had rays of hope in the last two years with champions like Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle but short title reigns and too many title changes really devalued the title to the point where it is now extinct after tonight. Tonight is truly a sad night...as the final match that the Intercontinental title will be involved in is one that no one wants to see, has one of the worst storylines of all time and is between two workers no where near the caliber of its greatest champions. Goodbye IC title...I’ll miss you.

Jamie Noble(w/ Nidia) vs. Tajiri for the WWE Cruiserweight Title

Match Background:
Noble and Tajiri have been tag team partners for a few months in the WWE Cruiserweight division. They became relatively close, as Tajiri was always soon around Noble and his girl, Nidia. This past Thursday, Tajiri was the special guest referee for a match between Noble and Nidia, a match made because the redneck couple weren’t getting along. After Noble pinned Nidia, she still wanted a piece of Noble, but Tajiri kept her at bay....threatening to take force if need be. Noble took exception to this and they both beat up on their former friend, causing the match for tonight.

The Match: The match begins with Tajiri hitting a baseball slide into the midsection of Noble as he’s trying to enter the ring. An ASAI moonsault hits Noble flush on the outside. Noble takes advantage back in the ring with his REDNECK RAGE! Noble kicks Tajiri in the back....but Tajiri snap mares him over and says “This is how you do it, bitch” by kicking him in the back 10x HARDER! Noble goes for a sunset flip attempt, but Tajiri walks his way to the ropes and goes through, turning Noble onto his stomach and kicking him in the FACE for TWOOOO. Tajiri ends up on Noble’s shoulders who falls backwards to take out the Japanese Buzzsaw. I wonder if he’s seen Ringu. Tilt a whirl backbreaker by Noble. Tajiri goes for a crucifix, but Noble falls back ala Bret/DBS from SummerSlam ’92. DAMN, I’m going to miss the IC title. Tajiri tries to roll up Noble, but Noble rolls through and elbows Tajiri right in the middle of the back. Some more elbows and knees to the back and he puts Tajiri in a sitting surfboard stretch. He shoulder blocks Tajiri’s back in the corner and goes for a top rope belly to back, but Tajiri blocks it and goes for a moonsault. He lands on his feet because Noble moved out of the way, but gets a running Tornado DDT for two! Tajiri and Noble get up at the same time.....but Tajiri is in full ASIAN KUNG FU BEATDOWN ATTACK MODE~! and just attacks him with tons of punches and kicks! This gets a pretty nice pop from the crowd too! Handspring elbow leads to a crescent kick by Tajiri for two. Tajiri gets a Tornado Backbreaker followed by a PICTURE PERFECT German Suplex with bridge for a two count! Tajiri gets up, selling the lower back, like a good worker. Noble charges him in the corner but gets put in the Tarantula! Noble ducks the Pearl Harbor kick and goes for his Tiger Bomb, but Tajiri counters into a slingshot and a THICK kick to the face! Nidia has the ref distracted by cutting off his oxygen supply......with her tongue. Tajiri gets his attention but turns around to get Tiger Bombed for a near fall! A second attempt ends up with Tajiri going for a victory roll, but Nidia holds onto Noble’s legs allowing him to fall on top of Tajiri (like Owen did to Bret at WM X) for the win! After the match, Tajiri grabs Nidia and kisses her...and she likes it! That pisses Noble off.....because he didn’t do it right! He goes to show him how its done....but Tajiri kicks Noble in the back of the head as he kisses Nidia.

My Opinion: The match was pretty good and the psychology was tight, although it didn’t factor into the finish. I would have liked it if they had some more time. I STILL haven’t seen Noble’s Trailer Hitch finisher. **

In the back, Benoit tells Eddie that Kurt Angle is jumping Chavo in the back and Eddie goes to rescue him. You can hear Chavo in the room screaming for Eddie....but he’s convinced that Benoit is just setting him up the same way he set Benoit up last week. “You think I’m stupid, holmes, esse?” He’s convinced that if he goes in there, looking for Chavo, he’ll find Angle and get jumped. “That’s not Chavito’s voice! That’s a little girl’s voice!”. As he says this....Chavo falls out of the room, beaten as Angle and Benoit smile at the Guerreros. That was a funny, effective segment. Eddie Guerrero deserves a higher spot on the card.

Triple H vs. Kane for the World Heavyweight Title – Winner Take All

The IC title ends here.

Match Background: I couldn’t make this any more sillier if I was writing a comedy. Eric Bischoff states that he is going to dissolve the IC title and unify it with the World Heavyweight title held by Triple H. That night, Kane defeated Chris Jericho for the IC title and the right to face Triple H at No Mercy. Kane literally single-handedly won TLC 4 since his partner was taken out of commission by Triple H and Flair in the back. After the match, Triple H made the STARTLING revelation. He murdered someone by the name of Katie Vick or Katie Fick....I don’t give a Fuck, how about that? The next week, Kane tells HIS side of the story in one of the worst segments in WWE history. Basically, she was a good friend of his 10 years ago, when he first started wrestling (even though we’re supposed to believe he was in hiding until ’97 and he couldn’t talk for years). She was too drunk to drive so he drove her home, despite not knowing how to drive a stick shift. An animal in the road caused them to swerve and she was killed instantly...but according to Kane....IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I DON’T GIVE HALF A SHIT! WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH WRESTLING! How can it possibly get worse? HHH then claims to have autopsy reports.....that show that her body found traces of Kane’s SEMEN in her.....so either he raped her or he’s a necrophiliac (even though Tori supposedly took his virginity in ’99). According to Jim Ross....this is supposed to be mind games, but I just call it what it is: HORRIBLE WRITING and one of the WORST storylines EVER. The video montage for this match makes it seem as if this angle occurred first and then Bischoff made the match. It also tries to show “reenacted” footage of the incident. Hopefully, after tonight, we never have to hear about this shit again. Oh yeah, Kane defeated HHH for the IC title in a chain match at last year’s Judgment Day.

The Match: The pop for HHH is relatively small tonight. Jerry Lawler can’t shut up about this ridiculous angle. Kane tries to MURDER HHH in the corner, but he gets away. Kane finally gets him into the corner and attempts MURDER again, but instead opts for a backbody drop. Kane tries to take his head off, LITERALLY, with a clothesline, but alas HHH is still alive. Another clothesline in the corner. Jim Ross apologizes to Katie Vick’s family for listening to Lawler. Someone should apologize to us for this shit. This is seriously the worst storyline I think I’ve ever heard. Funny thing is, if it was New Jack in the ring, I’d buy it. HHH goes for a neckbreaker, but can’t get a grip, so he pulls him down by the hair. Kane gets a powerslam, almost killing HHH with the body to body impact. Facebuster by HHH and a clothesline gets Kane out of the ring and closer to 20,000 innocent fans, many who didn’t even pay to be at the show tonight. Lots of punching....more punching.....and HHH comes back with a swinging neckbreaker for two. A third and fourth neckbreaker by HHH get a 2. Kane comes charging at HHH, but The Game gets a spinebuster for 2. Jerry Lawler says that Kane’s assaults on Pete Rose mean he’s shown that he can murder someone. Did they ever find SEMEN on Pete Rose? Don’t answer that. HHH gets a sleeper....and tries to put the only person not asleep down. Kane gets a belly to back to get out...and the people wake up too! Ross: “You’re killing me here with Katie Vick.” Kane with a big boot. Sideslam by Kane. Jim Ross takes exception to Lawler talking about Semen...and so do I. Flair comes in, but the ref is pushed aside by Kane so he can get at him...leading to Flair getting a shot in. HHH comes back but eats another big boot. Flair in, but he gets knocked down as well. HHH hits Kane with the world title....for a close two count. The Hurricane comes out to take out Flair...and does, before HHH goes to the outside and says to himself “Measly Cruiserweight”. A Pedigree on the floor later and we never see him again. Kane is UP though, because he, unlike the Undertaker, is still part zombie. A few clotheslines and then a barrage of punches in the corner. A powerslam by Kane gets two. Kane goes for a superplex, but gets shoved off. HHH actually makes it off to top to his the infamous “double axehandle off the top to the guy on the mat”, but eats foot. Kane goes for the chokeslam, but HHH elbows out. Kane goes for a big boot but Earl Hebner eats it instead. Kane goes to the outside...and HHH leaps at him from the apron, but gets caught by the neck and gets chokeslammed him through the Spanish Announce Table (without clearing it first, ruining the visual). Flair tries assaulting Kane, but The Big Red Murderer just no sells it and knocks Flair down. Kane puts HHH in the ring and Flair goes for a sledgehammer shot, but Kane catches it. He knocks Flair down and takes the sledgehammer from him. He goes to MURDER Triple H, but HHH kicks him in the gonads in self defense. HHH picks up the sledgehammer now and Kane goes for the Tombstone, but gets hit in the midsection with the sledgehammer. Yes, Earl is still down at this point. Kane blocks another sledgehammer shot and gets the chokeslam! He goes for the cover and another ref runs in, but gets taken out by Flair. Flair goes off the top, into the waiting chokeslamming arm of Kane. HHH takes advantage of this opening, shoulder tackles him in the gut, Pedigree and its over.

My Opinion: The overbooking actually SAVED this match from a complete stinkaroo. The finish of this match was never in doubt and I just hope I never hear anything about Katie Vick, Semen, Murder, Necrophilia or anything like that in WWE storylines again. *1/2.

In the back, Stephanie talks privately with Tracy. She coerces her into telling her the truth....how she lied about the Undertaker and how Heyman put her up to it. Undertaker was in the room and his name is now cleared. Yay.

Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit vs. Edge and Rey Misterio for the WWE Tag Team Titles

Now THIS is what I’ve been waiting for!

Match Background: After having the WWE MOTY last month at Unforgiven, Angle and Benoit were forced to team by Stephanie McMahon in the Smackdown Tag Title Tourney. The incentive to work together is that if they fight amongst themselves, they’ll be fined and suspended without pay for a year. This lead to some great tag matches on Smackdown, the last one being the semi finals: Los Guerreros vs. Angle/Benoit. Their opponents tonight, Rey and Edge have a bit of history with Angle and Benoit. Edge and Angle faced each other this year at Backlash in one of the best matches this year. The following month at Judgment Day, Edge defeated Angle in a hair vs. hair match and Angle is bald because of it. Edge also defeated Angle in the infamous steel cage match from Smackdown earlier this year where Edge separated his shoulder. Rey and Angle met at SummerSlam and on Smackdown, with Angle coming out on top both time. Rey then beat both Angle and Benoit in a triple threat match on Smackdown a few weeks ago. Each one of these men are good to great workers and this can be a classic.....easily.

The Match: Angle starts out with Rey, taunting him by slapping him in the back of the head and throwing him around like a rag doll. He tells Rey to go tag Edge but he refuses. Angle with a go-behind on Rey...and Rey can’t escape, so he resorts to stomping Angle’s feet in a funny spot. Fireman’s carry, dropkick to the knee and a legdrop to the head by Rey gets the advantage. Rey gets a ‘rana, a drop toe hold and then slaps HIM in the back of the head before running away, frustrating Angle. Edge comes in, puts a front face lock on Angle, but its QUICKLY countered into a hammerlock. It’s the little things like that that make Angle one of the best. Edge takes the advantage with a few hiptosses and a dropkick. Tazz says: “That’s why Edge is an 8 time WWE Tag Team Champion”. I thought these were the WWE Tag Team titles. They really should name them differently. Benoit comes in and he and Edge exchange arm locks. Edge gets a knee to the midsection of Benoit, followed by a gutbuster for two. Backbreaker by Edge gets a two as well. They exchange chops in the corner and the sheer force and velocity of Benoit’s give him the advantage there. Edge comes back with an Oklahoma roll for two. Benoit whips Edge into the ropes and Angle knees him in the back. The ref admonishes Angle....but he’s holding the tag rope. Another irish whip by Benoit is reversed....and Edge spears Angle off the apron to the floor! Edge gets a roll up on Benoit for two, but when the Crippler kicks out, Edge goes flying into Angle, who drops his neck on the ropes. Angle in with a clear cut advantage over Edge with punches, kicks and a rear chin lock as he keeps him away from Rey. Edge tries to get away, but Angle makes him PAY with an overhead belly to belly! Benoit in as he lays in the chops and the boots to Edge. Benoit gets 3 Rolling Germans to Edge before taking out Rey. THUMB ACROSS THE THROAT! SNOT ROCKET! Benoit goes to the top....but Edge, not dazed enough to stay down, superplexes him! Edge gets the hot tag to Rey, who runs RIGHT past Benoit to cheap shot Angle and THEN gets a flying head scissors on Benoit. Drop toe hold leads to Benoit sitting in the corner...and instead of the Bronco Buster, gets dropkicked in the MOUTH! Angle in, but gets dropkicked out. Benoit gets layed on the second rope facing up and Rey comes off with a springboard legdrop but Angle saves the pinfall! Rey goes for his wheelbarrow into a bulldog, but Benoit drops him down and puts on the CROSSFACE~!! Edge breaks it up and goes to the outside to brawl with Angle. Rey dropkicks Benoit into position for the 619.....but Benoit CATCHES him! It looks like he’s going to powerslam him, but Edge dropkicks Rey onto Benoit for a two count! Rey goes to the top....but Angle runs in out of NO WHERE and throws Rey halfway across the damn ring! Benoit goes for the cover.....TWO! Benoit: “WHAT!?” The Crippler whips Rey into the enemy corner and tags in the former WWE champion. Backbreaker by Angle for two. Tazz provides some insightful commentary about being an undersized guy in the wrestling business and its hardships. Cole runs down Angle’s accolades, calling him a Grand Slam champion, when he indeed is not. You need the tag title’s for that one....but he has won every singles title in WWE except for Cruiserweight. Rey backbody drops his way out of a front face lock but gets LAUNCHED by an overhead belly to belly! Benoit back in now and hits a TEXTBOOK belly to back. He and Eddie Guerrero have the best belly to back suplexes in the business. Beniot KILLS Rey in the corner with some VICIOUS chops! Rey gets whipped into the other corner but floats over and ‘ranas Benoit into the post, giving him some separation. That spot looked a little awkward to me. Angle in, but Rey makes the hot tag to Edge who is now a HOUSE EN FUEGO~! Faceplant to Benoit and an Edge-O-Matic on Angle for a two! Benoit in the corner gets speared by Edge....followed by the Bronco Buster by Rey! Angle gets speared in the corner as well....and then gets placed on the top by Edge. Rey sprints at Edge who throws him onto Kurt’s shoulder and ‘ranas him down! Benoit comes off the top with the SWAN DIVE HEADBUTT to save Angle, but Edge moves out of the way and he hits Angle! Edge covers..1....2....NO! I’m LOVING THIS! Angle gets up.....and gets a German suplex out of NOWHERE! Angle is waiting for a groggy Edge to turn around....but Rey charges EDGE and gets back body dropped onto Angle! WOW! Edge looks for a spear on Angle....but gets tripped up by Benoit. He’s trying to put on the CROSSFACE~!! and finally gets it! Edge gets to the ropes, but Benoit learned from last month and pushes the rope away with his feet! Rey comes out of NOWHERE with a 619 on Benoit while Edge is in the God Damned CROSSFACE! Angle from behind....Angle Slam on Rey! The singlet is down! Ankle-lock on Edge....its reversed...roll up off the irish whip, just like Edge won at Backlash.....1.......2.............NO!!!!!!!! Edge gets a spear, but Benoit saves! Rey takes Benoit out of the ring and then uses Edge as a platform to moonsault off of onto Benoit! Edge goes for the Edgecution, but its blocked by Angle.....reversed into the Anklelock! Edge tries to get to the ropes but Angle pulls him back! Edge reverses into an Anklelock of his own! Angle reverses THAT....into his own Anklelock and Edge TAPS OUT! Angle and Benoit are the first WWE Tag Team Champions!

My Opinion: WHEW! That was AWESOME. Seriously, the best tag team match I’ve seen since Beniot/Jericho vs. HHH/Austin from Raw last year. I had a feeling that Angle and Benoit would win the match because of Rey and Edge’s respective singles pushes, but some of the near falls REALLY made me doubt that. I can’t WAIT for some rematches. The psychology was there but there were a few things that bothered me. A few of the spots looked a little too contrived. Also, as much as I absolutely adore clean victories, Angle didn’t work the leg at all during the match, so to get a win off an Anklelock tap out kinda throws the psych off. Everyone worked their asses off and this is another MOTYC. In some aspects, I like to think that great tag matches are superior to great one on one’s because there is a higher range of mistakes that can happen. The clean tap out was nice though because Edge won’t lose a thing and it gives the new tag titles the legitimacy that it needs. WWE needs to learn from finishes like this one. Also, from the segment earlier on with the Guerrero’s, it looks like we know who our number one contenders for those tag titles are. (Note: I originally had given this match ****1/2, however, after watching it two more times....I can't deny this match the extra 1/4* , even if I wanted to): ****3/4

In the back, Undertaker tells the trainer to give him a shot to ease the pain in his hand before he goes into Hell In A Cell.

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria for the WWE Women’s Title

Match Background:
Trish faced Victoria a few weeks ago on Raw for the Women’s title. The match ended when Victoria clocked the hell out of Trish with a steel chair. She then claimed that this is all payback for something Trish did in the past. The two women had plenty of pull apart brawls, including one after a tag match on Raw this past week. Victoria revealed that what Trish did was sleep her way to WWE while she was trying to earn her way in. Oh, and being one of the Godfather’s Ho’s isn’t sleeping your way in?

The Match: Lawler tries to combat the fact that Tazz and Cole pimped the last match as “only on Smackdown” by saying “these women are exclusive to RAW!”. Sorry buddy, it doesn’t work. Nice try. Victoria gets a headlock to start and just overpowers Trish into the corner, taking over with kicks. A Trish clothesline and a set of kicks get two two counts. On the outside, Trish pulls Victoria’s arm into the ring post, but she barely sells the arm. She posts Trish head first and then drops her onto the security rail. She throws Trish back in the ring and hits a somersault legdrop from the apron in for two. Victoria gives Trish an UGLY monkey flip. Second attempt thankfully is blocked by Trish who places her on the top. She goes for a superplex, but gets shoved off so Trish handspring head scissors her over for a two. Victoria gets a Canadian backbreaker, but Trish rolls through for a pinfall. Sideslam by Victoria sets up a moonsault attempt, but Trish catches her, places her on her shoulders and falls back for two. Chick Kick (Roundhouse) by Trish gets a two. Stratusfaction Bulldog attempt is blocked by Victoria but Trish rolls her up for the win. The finish looked pretty goofy. After the match, Victoria hit a NICE straight kick to Trish’s jaw. Looks like we’ll see a rematch soon.

My Opinion: Well, it was better than the Dawn Marie – Torrie Wilson match up. It would have been rated higher if they had a little more time and if they didn’t botch anything. ½*

Ross and Lawler talk to Rikishi, who is at the World, about his time in Hell In A Cell, claming that it changed his career. If you stopped using ASS related offense, maybe your career wouldn’t be in midcard purgatory.

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker for the WWE Title in Hell In A Cell:

Match Background:
Last month at Unforgiven, the WWE title match ended in a DQ. The Undertaker was still considered the number one contender, however. Then, Undertaker’s hand was broken by Brock Lesnar after being jumped from behind and causing him to lose to a lethal dose of MATTITUDE~!. This caused Stephanie McMahon to make the stipulation of the rematch a Hell in the Cell match. The week after, Matt Hardy came to the ring praising his defeat of the Undertaker when UT came down to the ring with a cast on to beat on Matt Hardy. Using the essence that is MATTITUDE and superior intellect, the Undertaker broke his hand a second time. Then, Heyman and Lesnar brought in a woman named Tracy who claimed to the be the mistress of the Undertaker, causing distress in Undertakers marriage. This lead to UT being even more infuriated. The next week, Brock Lesnar was bloodied up by The Undertaker’s cast. This lead to Paul Heyman demanding Stephanie to order Undertaker to take his cast off. This request was denied. UT came down to the ring to charge Lesnar, but was taken down the second time. Heyman, thinking that he was down, decided to act brave....and ended up getting busted open by Undertaker’s cast as well as Brock once again.

The Match: The champ enters first, as Tazz claims that Brock probably wanted to get a feel for the cage before starting the match. I like that explanation. Heyman is on the outside of the cage. No one in a HIAC match has ever had a manager. The match begins with Brock taking UT down with a waist lock, but UT fights out of it, only to end up powerslammed. UT punches Brock in the midsection with the cast, which Brock sells appropriately. Heyman starts OVERselling a few seconds into the match: “NOT THIS WAY!”. UT looks to use the cast again, so Brock bails from the ring. He comes back in and goes after UT’s hand, striking it and pulling on it. UT is yelling to sell the injury. UT nails Brock in the face with a right hand....and then nails him in the forehead. Heyman starts screaming at the top of his lungs. It’s getting as annoying as Bill Alfonso’s whistle! Brock is opened up on the outside and UT goes after him. UT throws him into the cage a few times, using the cage for leverage on some stomps. Again into the steel, followed by a clothesline as Heyman screams “PLEASE!”. Pinfalls count anywhere apparently, as the ref counts two on the outside. UT sets up Brock on the apron and legdrops him across the chest. He goes to the top turnbuckle (!) and jumps off onto Brock, seemingly to legdrop him from there, but it ends up looking like a messed up knee drop. As UT picks Brock up, Heyman has his arm through the cage in one of those holes on the side made for climbing it. UT big boots Heyman off of the cage perimeter as Heyman blades. In a VERY funny spot....UT grabs Heymen’s tie and uses it to pull him into the cage repeatedly. Lesnar charges ‘Taker, but he moves away and Brock ends up ramming into Heyman. Brock rams him ‘Taker into the cage, the post and back into the cage. Heyman passes his belt to Brock into the cage, who uses it to tie ‘Taker’s hand to the cage. Brock takes a chair and cracks it over the back of the Undertaker. With UT’s hand an open target on the cage, Brock starts WAILING on it SIX TIMES until the belt breaks in half! That looked vicious. Brock tries to rip the cast off, even trying to bite it off, but UT fights him off with a flurry of punches....ignoring the fact that his hand was just smacked six times with a steel chair. Brock goes back to trying to tear the cast off....but he can’t quite get it before ‘Taker starts fighting him off again. Back in the ring now, Lesnar starts stomping on the hand. This is quite boring. The cast is finally off. Now that the cast is off.....Undertaker is BARELY selling the hand! That makes NO SENSE! He was screaming before....now he’s just walking around, making no noise! Lesnar places UT on the top turnbuckle and uses the ceiling of the cage to hold onto as he kicks ‘Taker a few times. ‘Taker with a low blow and he pushes him off the top. UT uses the ceiling of the cage to walk on the ropes....and when he’s in the midpoint of both turnbuckles, he jumps off with an elbow....USING THE BROKEN HAND AND NOT SELLING IT. Cole says UT has been in 5 HIAC matches, but I can only recall 4. UT big boots Lesnar into the cage. Heyman “Brock, we’re losing!” A fan: “Act Heyman, act!”. Suicide dive by UT onto Brock, driving himself and Brock into the cage. UT tries to take the steel steps....and THEN sells the hand when he can’t pick it up. Brock throws UT into the cage and clotheslines him on the floor. Brock then takes the steel steps....and rams it into UT’s head. Undertaker blades like a MAN! He is absolutely DRIPPING!! I’ve NEVER seen UT bleed like this! Brock rams the steel steps into UT even harder! The blood is just completely covering UT’s face! Back in the ring, UT tries to fight back but walks into a spinebuster for two. UT comes back with a right hand....but it hurts too much. A clothesline doesn’t hurt him though. He stomps on Brock’s fingers...and he lets out a YODEL. UT stomps on his hand again. UT goes “Old School” on Brock, but he’s too tired.....so Brock throws him down. UT’s forehead is POURING BLOOD. Brock goes for the F5, but its countered into the chokeslam for a VERY CLOSE TWO! UT with a clothesline in the corner, but he’s not selling the arm anymore. Brock with a kick to the gut....and goes for the Last Ride, but UT backbody drops out. He DDT’s Lesnar for two. UT signals for the Last Ride. Lesnar counters it by ramming him into the corner and drives his shoulder into him a few times. He goes to the top to punch ‘Taker a few times.....but ‘Taker gets the Last Ride out of that position! 1...2...HAND ON ROPE! The mat is just COVERED in blood! UT gets up...and signals for the Tombstone! He picks him up...Brock reverses the Tombstone......into the F5! 1.....2.....3!!!! Brock gets out of the cage, gets his title and climbs it to pose for the crowd.

My Opinion: Aside from Undertaker’s selling problems, the match was a lot better that I thought it would be. Last month’s main event was pretty bad, but tonight, Undertaker finally layed down for Brock Lesnar. Not only that, but he did a MANLY blade job. **1/2

Overall: Well, last month’s Unforgiven was a lot better due to the fact that the undercard had better quality matches. The only match really worth seeing here in the tag title final, which EVERYONE should get. Hopefully the Kane nonsense is over. WWE really needs to shake things up again.....Lord knows they can use it.
UT finally put over Brock, so I’m interested to see what direction they are going now. Who will be Brock Lesnar’s next opponent?

For defeating the Undertaker in his specialty match, Subway, sponsor of tonight's PPV has decided that Brock Lesnar is the PPV MVP.

Brock, where are you going to go now?

I'm going to Subway!


(Credit: James from Uberforums.com for the pic)

Remember, I’ll be back next month with Survivor Series and I’m here EVERY WEEK with NWA:TNA.

‘Til next time,

The Dames, Damian Gonzalez

If you have any questions, comments, whatever you like, please send all feedback to




 

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