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Wrestling > TNA

Raw from JHawk's Beak (11/11/2002)
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on Nov 11, 2002, 23:18

Raw from JHawk's Beak (11/11/2002)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins

A very happy Veteran's Day to the Americans, Remembrance Day to the Canadians, and Monday to everybody else. It's time for your weekly dose of Raw.

Before that though, allow me to once again hype Adam Ryland's kickass Extreme Warfare Revenge, and allow me to also remind you to download the Best of the 80s scenario from Fifteen promotions, over 900 wrestlers, featuring all the greats of the 1980s, and you say who does and doesn't win. Want to relive The Iron Sheik's controversial title victory over Bob Backlund? Want to put Roddy Piper over Hulk Hogan clean in the main event of WrestleMania? Want Steve Lombardi and Pat Patterson on top of each other every show? All that and more is right at your fingertips. Myself? I'm in the middle of trying to push Los Conquistadores to the top of the WWF tag team division. But since nobody except Barry Horowitz and Barry O are willing to job to them, I have some work to do.

We had some tornado warnings hitting the northeast Ohio area last night, and between the local stations cutting in, Time Warner doing their scrolling box, and the Emergency Broadcast System all trying to update us AT THE SAME TIME, it became quite annoying. I know it's a big deal, but I thought Mother Nature was going for a Triple H-type push or something. And can they really be called "warnings" when they don't tell you about them until somebody's already confirmed they're out there?

And speaking of the Overpushed One, apparently he threw a hissy fit at the house show in Philly this weekend and started cursing out some fans. According to the Wrestling-Online Newsletter, a fight broke out in the stands as HHH was going to clothesline Kane. So HHH stopped in mid-spot, got the mic and yelled at the guy, "Look asshole, I'm trying to work here and perform for these people". A few minutes later, a female went up by the security wall and starting yelling at Triple H and calling him names. Triple H stopped the match again, went over to get the mic and said "Someone get this bitch out of here!" Now I'm all for wanting people to pay attention to the ring, so I'll give Hunter credit for trying to get the fighting fans to knock it off. I do not, however, condone the man yelling at someone who was calling him names. In fairness, I don't know what this woman said, and maybe she needed a good talking to, but if she was up at the security wall, he probably could have just yelled at her from where he was and not gotten on the house mic. Hunter, maybe you're not aware of this, but you're the damned heel! People are going to insult you! Hell, I do it about 15 times every Monday night just because, and that has nothing to do with your heelness. If you don't like it, pick a job where people aren't allowed to insult you without getting in trouble. Like, I don't know...something where you're not on TV or in front of a large crowd every week.

Anyway, we have a potentially decent show tonight, as Triple H meets Booker T (I'm assuming non-title)and Chris Jericho and Christian meet Rob Van Dam and Kane (for the title). Plus Shawn Michaels SPEAKS! And this should be the hard sell for the Raw portion of Survivor Series, so maybe we'll have more than the three already announced matches to work with.




Who am I kidding?

Segment 1

We are LIVE (give or take) from the US Bank Arena in Cincinnati, Ohio! Booker vs. HHH! And reading a newspaper backstage is the Holy Bible Kid! But first...

One fall for the World Tag Team Championship: Rob...Van...Dam and Kane vs. ChrisTIAN and Y2J+2 (champions)

Christian sort of gets his own entrance, but is the only one without his video and music. HUGE RVD chant at the bell as he starts with Jericho. Wrestling sequence to start, eventually ending with an RVD spinning back kick. RVD with a monkey flip and a standing moonsault for 2. Tag to Kane, and he quickly sends Jericho to the corner and catches him with some clotheslines. Choke lift. Christian in for the save, and he's clotheslined out to the floor. Kane then lifts Jericho over his head and dumps him over the top rope onto Christian, and then it's RVD over the top with a somersault tope. RVD throws Jericho into Kane...CHOKE SLAM! Cover, but the referee is on the floor. Christian and Nick Patrick both in, and Kane sets up Christian for a choke slam, but there's the low blow. Kane is your face-in-peril. Kane catches Christian coming in with a side slam and tags RVD. That didn't take long. RVD works over Christian with the martial arts, and there's Rolling Thunder for 2. Miscommunication spot leads to RVD rolling up Christian for 2. RVD up top, Jericho hooks the ankle, and Christian knocks RVD off the top rope and to the floor. OK, maybe RVD's face-in-peril tonight then. Christian brings RVD back in and starts stomping away. Tag to Jericho. Jericho with a back suplex and a cover for 2. Into a chinlock. RVD tries to elbow out of it, but there's an elbow from Jericho, and there's the Jericho Juke and Jive. Against the ropes, and Jericho with the squisher. Christian in, and RVD flips over a charging Jericho and clotheslines Christian. Sweet looking spot. Jericho and Kane are both tagged in, and Kane is cleaning house. Over the top goes Jericho, and Kane is up top...flying clothesline to Christian! Jericho intervenes as the Choke Slam is signaled, and the champions both suplex Kane, so RVD flying bodypresses both champions. Kane choke slams Christian, but Jericho wollops Kane with the title belt. RVD disposes of Jericho, and RVD is up top...and he jumps over Kane and hits Christian with the Five Star Frog Splash. Kane covers, but Jericho is in with a chair and gloms Kane with it for the DQ in 9:14. Jericho continues to beat on both men with the chair to some incredible heel heat. The champs retain even though they lost (in case you didn't know).


Good opener. Given just about the right amount of time, with some innovative spots and a pretty hot finish before the chair shot. I know most people don't like disqualifications, especially in title matches, but this is serving to get Jericho over as a heel, something he badly needed a year ago as Undisputed Champion, and it serves to set up how he's willing to do anything to win the Elimination Chamber. Good stuff.

Segment 2

Someone Feed Terri asks Jericho what he's doing, and he's softening up every assclown who's in the Elimination Chamber. And if someone can't make it, Bischoff has already told Christian he'll get the spot. And Jericho wollops Christian, just to bring home the point that nobody else is winning it but him.

Your hosts are The Pharaoh and Good Ol' JR, and they lead us into a video package highlighting the HBK-HHH feud. What is with that background music?

Booker T is being interviewed by Ace Reporter Gregory Helms, who asks for Book's thoughts on the Elimination Chamber. Booker is more concerned with tonight's match with HHH (and Helms is down with that). In comes Goldust, and apparently he's teaming with The Hurricane to face Steven Richards and Test. But beware the Testicles, because they're becoming bigger and stronger than ever. And he wasn't talking about Test's fans, either. Ewww.

Mr. Extreme is here, and he meets Lance Storm next!


I hate non-wrestling segments (particularly when they're backstage), but this is doing a heck of a job setting up tonight's matches. And since that's the idea, mission accomplished. And these matches at least have some potential, so we'll see how they play out.

Segment 3

One fall: Mr. Extreme vs. Lance Storm (w/William Regal)

Jeff looks like he's gotten straight off the set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. JR says that only the American flag should fly, even though it is Remembrance Day in Canada and all. Series of forearms by Storm to start. Hardy gains the advantage, and he ends up with a flying legdrop for 2. Jeff goes for a crucifix, but Storm counters with a rolling front slam for 2. Backbreaker gets 2. Over-the-shoulder backbreaker, but Hardy counters into a backdrop press for 2. Double legdrop "above the belt line", and Jeff covers for 2. Storm catches Hardy with a powerslam for 2. Whip into the corner. Backbreaker and a cover for 2. And another cover for 2 as Storm puts Hardy into a form of a surfboard. Hardy breaks with a mule kick. Trading shots, but Hardy catches Storm coming in with a Hotshot. Nice looking Whisper in the Wind for 2. Russian legsweep, and the hamstring legdrop cradle gets 2. Storm regains the advantage, but Hardy catches him coming in with a backdrop. Regal checks on him, and here comes Hardy with the guardrail run, and he gets part of Storm, but less of Regal, and Regal beats the hell out of him on the floor. Tommy F'N Dreamer comes out to work over Regal, but gets posted face-first. In the ring though, it's Hardy with the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb in 5:15.

Last week, the F-View cameras caught Victoria kicking Terri's ass.

Easy E approves in his office, and here comes Terri at Bisch's request. He's excited about the Elimination Chamber, but he's informing Terri that she'll be wrestling Victoria tonight. Bisch wants her to get revenge, Terri wants nothing to do with it...and Victoria is in the ring and "sweetly" trying to goad her into the ring. Oh, she thinks Terri and Trish are a lot alike, so if Terri gets annihilated, it's a message to Trish. Terri tells Bisch she's not a wrestler, so she refuses, but Bisch tells her to either convince Victoria to call it off, or little Dakota won't have a Christmas tree this year.


This would figure. Let's ruin what were two pretty decent little matches to open by throwing an admitted non-wrestler out there for a nothing beating, for the sole purpose of building the Women's Title match at Survivor Series. Well, at least it's episodic television without resorting to dead bodies and mannequins. Anyway, I rather enjoyed the Storm-Hardy match, but the interference killed it a bit. Still a good start so far.

Segment 4

Victoria is waiting on Terri, so here she comes. Terri's staying on the ramp for now as Victoria stares at her. My God, she looks eerily like an ex-interest of mine when she looks psychotic like that. Terri admits that Victoria is the better woman, so there's nothing to prove. Terri's made it to the ring by this point. Victoria agrees to call the match off, but she's going to rip Terri's head off anyway. There's the microphone shot, there's the clothes ripping, and there's Terri with a shoe to Victoria's head. She mounts Victoria, but gets thrown to the mat, and that's pretty much the last offense Terri's getting tonight. Victoria sends Terri to the floor and slams her to the metal ramp. Into the ringsteps with a hard thud. Back in the ring, and Charles Robinson tries to stop her...and gets a low blow for his troubles. Way to take one for the team, Little Naitch. Victoria pulls a ladder from underneath the ring, and here comes Trish the Cheating Bitch to send the ladder into Victoria's face. She pulls Victoria out to the floor, then into the ringsteps, and NOW the referees come out to break it up. Victoria is laughing.


Eh. Another non-wrestling segment, and not even a good brawl. The biggest problem here is how they'll simply let Victoria beat the hell out of Terri for two or three minutes, but as soon as the actual trained wrestler comes out, then the referees decide to break the fight up. Ya can't give it away for free, I know, but this bit could have been cut in half.

Segment 5

We're live in Cincinnati, and we're backstage with Dave Batista, who is stopped by The Man WHOO! Flair is impressed with him. He might even be bigger than the champ. Flair wishes him luck, and he gets a half-hearted "Thanks."

One fall: D'Lo Brown vs. Dave Batista

And here I thought D'Lo was due for a push. I rarely say this, but drop the first name. I can't fear a man named "Dave". D'Lo gets his shots in at the bell, but he is immediately backdropped. Rolling front slam. Forearms to the back. D'Lo gets some token blows in, but is clotheslined into a twisting sell. Clothesline against the corner. D'Lo with an elbow, but he runs into a spinebuster. And there's the High Angle Sitout Power Bomb, and even JR seems shocked that Batista gets the win in just 1:33.

HBK is making his way to the ring.


Well, Batista's getting a monster push, but I don't like them using D'Lo to do it when there are lots of guys who suck on the roster. Push D'Lo already, dammit! Still, JR's playing it smart by treating it like there's no way Batista should be getting wins as quickly as he is. The match itself was nothing but a glorified squash though.

Segment 6

WWE salutes American's veterans.

And out comes the Holy Bible Kid, and you know Hunter's showing up at some point because outside of that earlier video package, he's hasn't made an appearance yet. I think I'm in the minority, but I hate Shawn's new shirt. By now we all know Shawn's belief system: God, his family, himself, and the fans. Suck up. But he's human. He also believes in retribution. He'll be in the Elimination Chamber. He doesn't know what it is, but he didn't know what ladder matches, Hell in a Cell matches, or Ironman matches were either. So how tough can it be? It's only been four years, a career ending back injury, and partial paralysis. Oh, is that all? He's no longer the Showstopper, just Shawn Michaels. But that should be enough to make sure Triple H doesn't walk out of MSG with the World Title. Shawn can't forgive Hunter for trying to take his livelihood. So Shawn doesn't care who wins the title on Sunday as long as it isn't Hunter. "All things are possible to those who believe," sayeth the Lord, and Shawn believes it will be him, and here comes Hungry Hungry Hippos for the first time tonight (at 10:04 p.m. Eastern). Hunter's on stage claiming to be God (and sadly, he thinks he's shooting). Is anybody else hoping for lightning to strike when he says that? Hunter is making his way to the ring, and the brawl is on! Exchanging blows, but HHH with a short clothesline. And the Pedigree despite monster HBK chants. There's the smirk, and he heads to the floor...and reaches underneath the ring for the sledgehammer. And Earl Hebner slides in to grab the sledgehammer as referees and officials try to keep him out of the ring. Arn Anderson: "OK, you proved your point!"


HHHater Clock: 1 segment, 4:09. The officials actually used some preventive measure to keep Hunter from getting to Shawn? Simply because Eric Bischoff wants to protect his main event? My God, that actually makes sense! And it took place on Raw! Am I watching the right show? HBK's monologue was a bit long, but otherwise a good segment.

Segment 7

Man, that clothesline was vicious. Damn, even the replay is to the point tonight. I'm impressed. During the break, Shawn was holding the back of his neck.

One fall: The new but not necessarily improved Dudley Boyz (w/Mr. Extreme) vs. Three Minute Warning (w/Rico)

And these six men will face each other in a six man tag team table elimination match. And we have the brawl to start. Bubba Ray works over Jamal in the corner until Rosey causes a brief distraction. Bubba gets Jamal down and tags Spike, who immediately gets in a double stomp, and nearly as quickly begins getting his ass handed to him. Rosey with a running twisting legdrop. Quick tag, and down goes Spike to Jamal's Gorilla press. Hard shot to Spike, but Bubba tags Spike as he flies out of the ring. Flip flop and fly, ending with Rosey missing Bubba and hitting Jamal. This one has become a train wreck, as Jamal takes Bubba down with a Samoan drop and gets the pin at 2:51. Postmatch, Hardy chases Rico into the ring and dropkicks both of the Samoans. In comes Rico, and Hardy clotheslines him down. Swanton...nope, Jamal and Rosey pull Rico out of there, and in comes a table. Jeff appears to be sacrificial lamb, and Spike tries to make the save...but ends up on the table with Jeff, and Jamal splashes BOTH men through the same table (getting some good elevation while he's at it). The postmatch was better than the match, sadly enough.


Tag team matches cannot have a face in peril and go less than three minutes. Bottom line. And because of the lack of time alloted for it, the match never had a chance to get into any kind of groove at all. The Survivor Series match could be OK, but this segment does not make me want to see that match.

Segment 8

Ross and Lawler are hyping Confidential and the Scott Steiner segment THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE AIRED ALREADY! *Sigh*

Christopher Nowinski (w/large book) makes his way to the ring, and he's dressed to compete. And Nowinski doesn't want to make fun of Cincinnati (oh, come on! They deserve it!). Pete Rose deserves to be in Hall of Fame (huge pop, so what's the catch?). Oh, he disagrees with that and calls these fans stupid. He manipulated them! Nowinski says he's going to teach Al Snow a lesson, because as Charles Dickens wrote, "What does everybody want?" Al with a drop toehold, and it's

Christopher Nowinski vs. Al Snow

Nowinski wants to wrestle, so Snow wrestles him. In fact, we get some nice wrestling out of Al Snow and he goes to work on Nowinski's arm. Snow threatens a punch, but Nowinski points to the restructured jaw...and cheap shots Al. So Al punches the jaw this time. Al with the edge, but Nowinski takes Snow down and uses the ropes for leverage to get the pin in 1:32. Nowinski hits Snow with the book after the match, but out comes Maven to make the save.

Booker vs. HHH is later tonight!


This one started off so well, and just as quickly as I was getting into the story, it was over. Hey, I like that not-so-subtle heel tactic of "say you'll wrestle but cheat to win", but give the match some time so the full effect can be taken in. This is doing nothing but setting up Maven vs. Nowinski, which I actually want to see, but I'll need something more than this to be willing to pay for it.

Segment 9

The World is currently showing Raw, but it's showing the "sold out" Survivor Series as well as hosting Saliva performing "Always" this Sunday.

And here comes Easy E to answer our questions about the Elimination Chamber, but tomorrow night, it's Super Tuesday, with not only the 10-man tag team match, but also the Interpromtional Bikiki Challenge with Trish vs. Torrie Wilson. And now, let's talk Elimination Chamber. 16 feet high, 36 feet wide, circular with a curved roof (the middle of the roof may or may not be open). Two men chosen at random to start, the others locked in individual chambers. One man leaves his chamber (randomly chosen) every five minutes, elimination rules apply, and the last man remaining is the World Heavyweight Champion.

F-View shows My Future Wife with Big Stevie Cool, as Stevie wants the marketing treatment, but Stacy has no time, so Stevie wants motivation for tonight's match. He wants Stacy to whack him with the kendo stick, but in comes Test to do it instead. And Stacy bends over for us.

RNN Breaking News for November 11: Randy Orton says his shoulder sling is chafing him and making him susceptible for infection, but he's been treated and his new sling is padded. So e-mail him and he'll be back in no time.

Trish talks about her shitty track on the Anthology CD set. I hate this fricking song!


Is anybody else expecting a falling out between Stevie and Test in this tag team match? Will any of you care if they actually have that falling out? Anyway, we've had the rundown for the rules of the Elimination Chamber, and I have to say it could be really interesting if properly booked. But to go from Stacy's ass to Randy Orton...I hope they are trying to turn him heel, because if we're supposed to care for this guy, it's failing miserably.

Segment 10

One fall: Test (w/My Future Wife: Marketing Genius) and Big Stevie Cool vs. The Hurricane and Goldust

Do you ever wonder if they book these tag team matches just to put people on the show they wouldn't otherwise use? Test slaps Stevie's ass at the bell to sell the backstage cane shot. Goldust works over both men to start. Test gets the advantage, and Stevie tags him from behind. In comes Hurricane on the other side, and he gets in a blockbuster. Shining Black gets 2. Stevie goes for a suplex, but Goldust comes in with an uppercut. Test is in, and he catches Hurricane in midair. Stevie goes to hit Hurricane, but he ducks, and Test gets the shot. Eye of the Hurricane gets 2. Test regains the advantage quickly, and Test rolls the dice for the pin at 2:15. Stevie hugs Stacy to celebrate, and Test lays him out with a boot, telling him never to touch one of his Testicles. If there was a point to this segment, it escapes me.

The main event is next, as the champ and Ric Flair are walking...and Earl Hebner has to keep Hunter and Booker separated. An argument ensues, and Booker says there's five guys, five guys, five guys, five guys, five guys whooping his punk ass, and I get that, sucka. Hunter says it's going to end up just Hunter and Booker, if he can dig that, and the officials need to keep Book off of Hunter.


HHHater clock: 2 segments, 5:52, and this one being a hard sell for the Elimination Chamber.

Another match that was too short to mean anything, and it only served to put over the least deserving man in the match. Stevie Richards would have been ECW World Champion had he stayed healthy, Goldust got the wrestling gene in the Runnels family, and Hurricane is so badly misused that you'd think he was still in WCW during the Hogan era. I'm all for pushing new guys, but we have to want to see them for it to work.

Segment 11

Non-title match scheduled for one fall: Hungry Hungry Hippos (World Heavyweight Champion--w/The Man WHOO!) vs. Booker T

Booker slides in and hits a spinning leg lariat at the bell. Elbowsmash, leg lariat, and Hunter rolls to the floor. Booker follows him and suplexes him to the floor. Whip, reversal, Booker into the steps. Hunter rolls in, Flair rolls Booker in. Hunter punches Booker in the corner, and Booker fights back. Whip, reversal, Hunter with a high knee for 2. Turnbuckle smash. Punches, and Earl yells "Open the hand, dammit!" Booker punching, but he gets caught with a facebuster. Placing Booker on the turnbuckle, a couple of chops, and following him up, but Booker knocks Hunter off the corner, and Booker comes off with a missile dropkick. Series of punches, a forearm smash, and a sign in the crowd claims A.J. Styles is God. There are a lot of diety claims in this arena tonight. Hunter goes for the Pedigree, but Booker counters with a double-leg, a slingshot into the corner, and a leg lariat. Scissor kick, and Booker teases the Spinaroonie, but Flair climbs to the top turnbuckle. Booker tosses Flair to the mat, there's the Spinaroonie, and a double clothesline by Booker to Flair and Hunter. Hunter with a low blow, kick to the midsection, Pedigree, and the pin in 5:15. THAT is the main event? Here comes Shawn Michaels, and he'll get his licks on Triple H...and Sweet Chin Music for Flair! Out comes Chris Jericho, and Michaels takes him down. Not for long, as Jericho comes out after him, and out come Kane and RVD. All six men are in and out of the ring, and it's a pier six brawl. It's ends with Kane and Hunter in center ring. Trading blows, and a spinebuster by Hunter. In comes Booker. In comes RVD. This isn't even fast enough to be an entertaining brawl. Jericho and Hunter shove each other as Kane sits up. Double clothesline. Clothesline to Jericho. One for Hunter. Choke slam to Jericho. And HBK with a superkick to Kane. It's Hunter and Shawn in the ring, and the band tunes up, but Hunter blocks it. Pedigree countered with a backdrop, and Shawn Pedigrees Triple H! Cue "Sexy Boy", but WATCH OUT FOR...that chair from Jericho. Cue "King of My World".


Oh my God, was this a boring segment. A five minute main event? A wide open postmatch brawl to sell the main event of a major pay-per-view, and they're going through the motions? Well, I'll say this much. The only person we've definitely ruled out of winning the Elimination Chamber is Jericho, as he was the last man standing when we went off the air.

HHHater Clock: 3 segments, 17:46, 5:15 of it wrestling time. Wow, I think Jeff Hardy got more airtime tonight. I know, don't get my hopes up.

Overall, I enjoyed the hell out of this show for about half an hour, then it felt like 1987 syndicated TV all over again. Give me good wrestling (or at least entertaining crap posing as wrestling), and I'll be more than happy to give you some credit. But after those first two matches, there wasn't one thing that held my interest worth a damn. Raw gets the main event of Survivor Series, but there's what, two other matches on their side of things? They must be expecting the SmackDown Tag Team Title match to carry the entire PPV again (and they haven't even officially announced that one yet).

Don't go out of your way for a tape of this one.

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