Movies / TV
Books / Comics
" The Gravel Pit "
The Dames' Diatribe on WWE Survivor Series 2002
Posted by The Dames on Nov 18, 2002, 03:57
WWE Survivor Series 2002
Oh, I never know how to start these things off....but before I do, like always, there are a few things I’d like to get off my chest.
I’m currently battling the flu and I really shouldn’t be taking the time out to do this right now but I’m a TROOPER, DAMMIT. Seriously, I get sick way too much. I think there might be something seriously wrong with me. You’ll know if there’s no NWA Diatribe on Wednesday night.
Speaking of my Diatribe’s for other organizations not run by Vince McMahon, feedback has been absolutely fabulous for my comprehensive review of the 1st Ring Of Honor show. If you haven’t read it yet, I suggest you take the time to read it as its a great intro to the fed and I include pictures of 95% of the performers to familiarize yourself with them. ROH’s second show, The Round Robin Challenge, will be up soon, depending on when I kick this illness.
Anyway....no more small talk. We are LIVE from the World’s Most Famous Arena, Madison Square Garden and I should be there, but Dames was broke when tickets went on sale.
We first give you the....
Bonus Heat Match: Goldust & The Hurricane vs. Lance Storm & William Regal
Match Background: Although the UnAmericans are pretty much dead and buried, Storm and Regal have decided to stick together and form a team. Now that The Hurricane and Kane are no longer tag team champs and Goldust’s regular partner, Booker T, has been solo for the past couple of weeks, these two “freaks” have decided to form an alliance as well. Originally scheduled to be on the PPV, this was shunted off the card for some reason.
The Match: I should mention right off the bat that this is probably the best looking set up WWE has ever done for the Garden. Equipped with a much shorter aisle way than most arenas, it doesn’t allow for a ramp or Titantron, so the Titantron images are projected onto the entrance doors. Being the smart marketers that they are, WWE isn’t going to show what the Chamber looks like on free TV, so they are keeping the cameras from showing the top of the arena. Storm and Hurricane start the match and Helms immediately gets his jumping superhero clothesline on the Canadian, followed by the flying neckbreaker he does so damn well. With Helms in the corner punching away at Storm, Regal comes over to make sure Storm takes over and does with a leg lariat for a two count. Regal comes in, looks for a scoop slam but suplexes Hurricane in that position for a few two counts. Storm tags in and goes for a lateral press for two. Hurricane rolls over a vertical suplex attempt and tries a roll up on Storm, but Regal gets the blind tag and tags Hurricane with an elbow to the mouth. More quick tags by the former UnAmericans as Storm comes in but Helms is finally able to muster up some offense with a back elbow, followed by the Overcast (Buff Blockbuster). He’s finally able to make the hot tag to Goldust who is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! and eventually hits a snap powerslam for a close two count on Storm. All four men in the ring now and with Regal taken care of by a Goldust butt bump, Hurricane unleashes his Hurri-chokeslam on Storm. Goldust then goes for the Curtain Call on Storm but with the ref trying to remove Hurricane from the ring, Regal nails him in the head with the knucks and Storm covers for the pin. The win is shortlived as Tommy Dreamer walks in and canes Storm and Regal to a pop! Apparently, its revenge for Regal kicking him stiffly in the jaw on Raw two weeks ago.
My Opinion: There isn’t much to say here as the match was just too short. The hot tag sequence lead to a flurry of about thirty seconds or so before the finish. ¾*.
PPV Opening: We get the usual spectacular intro video package recapping both Raw and Smackdown Main Events. The Raw half concerning the Elimination Chamber shined in this one as it was narrated by Eric Bischoff, describing the evolution of WWE.
We go inside the Garden as I look for everyone in the chance I may know them! We’re finally able to see with the Elimination Chamber looks like as its suspended high above the ring. It looks like a round Hell in a Cell, but a little more intricate. More on that later.
They have a section to the side of the Garden set up specifically for pyro as the aforementioned entrance way is just too small and is too close to the crowd for any significant pyro to go off there. It’s immediately put to use as Bubba Ray Dudley’s bombs go off and we go straight to...
Bubba Ray Dudley, Spike Dudley & Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning & Rico in an Elimination Tables Match:
Match Background: Last week on Raw, Bubba and Spike were accompanied to the ring by Jeff Hardy as they met Rosey and Jamal in a tag match. After winning the match, 3 Minute Warning placed Spike and Jeff on tables in the ring and were driven through them by a top rope splash! Naturally, this set up a tables match tonight.
The Match: Howard Finkle immediately starts the night off by calling this the Elimination Chamber match. Oh boy. 3 Minute Warning & Rico charge the ring and everyone starts brawling with the faces, eventually being thrown to the outside. Bubba press slams Spike over the top onto Jamal and Rosey but they catch him with relative ease. As they hold Spike, who’s trying to escape from their EVIL clutches, Jeff uses Bubba as a springboard to jump over the top to the outside onto them. As Bubba and Rico brawl in the ring, Lawler brings up Royal Rumble 2000, Dudleys vs. Hardyz Table Match, in a nice display of historical knowledge. With Bubba on the advantage, Spike comes off the top with the Whazzup headbutt on Jamal and then Jeff comes off the top with the Whazzup legdrop to the nuts on Rico. All this Whazzuping makes Bubba want tables, so he demands them from his teammates. He sets one up in the corner before getting taken out by Rosey. Rosey then rams Spike’s head into the propped table in the corner a few times and places him there. He gets some room and charges at him, but Spike moves out of the way and Rosey goes right though it! He’s not eliminated though as he wasn’t put through the table offensively. Before Spike can get some breathing room, Rosey is all “NO POBO” to the table and smacks Spike over the head with it with a nice chunk of it. Bubba comes and is served a spinebuster by Rosey before turning his attention to Jeff who’s perched on the top turnbuckle. He leaps off with a crossbody and Rosey tries to catch him....but ends up dropping him for the first LOUD “You Fucked Up” chant of the night. Ah, I love New York. Rico then sets up a table in the middle of the ring and goes after Spike, but he manages to get out of Rico’s grip and goes for the Dudley Dawg. Before he can finish the move, he’s caught by Jamal and Rosie who flapjack him through the table! Spike is gone...
Rico starts commanding traffic and they lay Jeff and Bubba next to each other in the middle of the ring. The Samoans go to the top, but Bubba is able to shove Rico off and send Rosey crashing back down from the top. Jeff does the same and uses Bubba to hit Poetry In Motion on Rosey, but gets knocked down before he can do it to Jamal. Rico hits his ONLY move, the spinning heel kick, as Rosey starts brawling with Jeff in the crowd. He takes him to another aisle, where he’s able to set up a table there. Rico works over Bubba in the corner with some kicks and tells Jamal to run in with a splash, but it backfires as Bubba pulls him into the way. Bubba Bomb takes care of Jamal for the time being as he goes to save Jeff at the aisle way. He puts Rosey on the table as Jeff heads to the balcony. If you don’t know what’s coming, you haven’t seen enough Hardy matches. Jeff hits the swanton, putting Rosey through the table and eliminating him. It wasn’t NEARLY as good as the best Swanton Bomb ever, the one Jeff did to D’Von from the balcony at RR 2000.
With Jeff recovering, Rico and Jamal set Bubba on a table in the ring and Rico goes up top. In a VERY bad spot, Jeff is very late with his cue and Rico just stands there.....waiting....taunting the crowd ever so often, even yelling “Come on Jeff, God dammit!” before finally getting crotched by the returning Hardy. Bubba takes the opportunity to suplex Rico off the top, but the table had already been moved by Jamal. Whisper in the Wind by Jeff Hardy knocks down Jamal and he follows it up with a dropkick. Jamal spills to the outside where Jeff throws a table at him. In another bad spot, Jeff tries to run on the safety rail and jump onto Jamal, but trips off of it. Jamal throws the table at Jeff ala Royal Rumble 2000 and that was the only thing that made that spot look any good at all. As the refs check on him, Jamal sets another table up at ringside and sets Jeff on it. Jamal splashes him off the top to the outside to eliminate him!!
Bubba sets Rico on a table in the ring and sits on the 2nd turnbuckle but is stopped by Jamal before he can do anything. Jamal tries to superplex him through it, but Bubba powerbombs him through it to eliminate Jamal!
It’s down to Rico and Bubba, but Jamal and Rosey keep attacking Bubba anyway. Rico sets up a table in the ring when D’VON DUDLEY comes in, dressed in his former Dudley garb and becomes a SUPER HOUSE...EN...FEUGO~! knocking down all three members. He and D’Von 3D Rico for the win!! Post match, the half brothers reunite and embrace to a pop.
My Opinion: Do “You Fucked Up” chants nullify “Holy Shit” chants? If that’s the case, the YFU chants still win tonight. There were some really bad blown spots here tonight, but for the most part, the crowd was pumped for the opener. Rico’s on camera demand for Jeff to interfere is one for the ages. After D’Von and Batista attacked Bubba Ray at Judgment Day and haven’t seen each other since, the return of D’Von doesn’t make too much sense. Well, at least that ends the singles pushes for both men. *1/4
In a funny moment, they cut over to The World where Stacy Kiebler gets cut off 2 seconds into her monologue. They then do they sequence over again where’s she’s able to EXPOSE THE BUSINESS~! by saying the exact same thing (cue cards!) and introduces Saliva who performs the Survivor Series theme “Always”.
We then cut to Michael Cole and Tazz for....
Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble w/Nidia for the WWE Cruiserweight Title:
Match Background: For the past two weeks on Smackdown, Billy Kidman has been able to defeat the Cruiserweight champion cleanly. The first win for Kidman over Noble took place in a mixed tag match and the second in a non title one on one encounter last Thursday. This lead to a title match for Billy Kidman tonight. This isn’t the first time these two have met on pay per view either as Noble’s first PPV title defense as CW champ was against Kidman at Vengeance, where Noble came out on top with the Tiger Bomb.
The Match: Funny thing, the graphic announcing the title match still has the old WCW CW title. Kidman has new music, which doesn’t fare well for our champion according to wrestling mythology. Kidman gets a series of quick nearfalls and a ‘rana before Noble bails to the outside. Back in now, Kidman goes for a clothesline, but Noble ducks and hits a nice neckbreaker. Noble puts on a surfboard stretch as Cole and Tazz make sure to put over Noble’s strategy of putting pressure on Kidman’s neck and spine. Noble hits a suicide dive to the outside and throws Kidman back in. He goes for a cross body off the top but Kidman is able to dropkick him in the midsection first. Nice series of offense by Kidman before Noble is able to go for a pumphandle exploder suplex. Sonny Siaki does that in NWA:TNA for you TNA fans. Kidman is able to block it and goes through WAY too much trouble to get the firemans carry into a neckbreaker he’s been using a lot lately. Cole: “What a neckbreaker to the knee!”. Noble busts out the FALCON ARROW~! for two. Kidman hits a sit out face slam and puts him into position for the Shooting Star, but Nidia pulls Noble out of the ring. Kidman leaps at Noble on the outside anyway and hits him. Slingshot legdrop by Kidman gets a two count as well. Noble reverses a belly to back suplex into a Tiger Bomb attempt, but gets backdropped out of it. Nidia holds onto Kidman’s leg to stop him from doing anything else, but gets pulled up to the apron by her hair. Noble charges and knocks the female Tough Enough winner down! Rydien bomb by Kidman....ONE....TWO....NO! Kidman goes for a powerbomb but Noble rolls through and goes for his Tiger Bomb! Kidman maneuvers out of it and gets a backslide, but Noble rolls through THAT and hits the Tiger Bomb! ONE....TWO.....NO! Kidman heads up to the top but Noble follows him up there. Kidman gets the advantage and gets a SUPER X-Factor off the top for a CLOSE TWO!! Kidman goes for his tornado bulldog, but Noble counters it, places him on the top rope and SPIKE DDT’s HIM DOWN! ONE....TWO.....NO! Kidman gets an enziguiri to the shoulder blades and goes up top. Nidia is there to catch him, but he’s able to kick her off! Noble takes the opportunity to stop Kidman, but gets knocked back down! SHOOTING STAR PRESS~! ONE.....TWO....THREE!! Billy Kidman is your new Cruiserwight Champion!
My Opinion: Although not as good as their match at Vengeance, these two did wonders with the amount of time they were given. If they had about five more minutes, this would have been even better. The crowd was seriously getting into it towards the end with all of the near falls and false finishes. Kidman got a pretty good pop for the title win, which reaffirms my faith in wrestlings fans. You CAN get over with in ring ability. Please let these guys have a 15 minute rematch. **3/4.
In the back, Angle tells Benoit that if Kidman can with the CW title....there’s NO way they can’t win the tag titles back. Angle is too happy to let anything Benoit says to him get to him. He offers a truce and Benoit offers his hand in agreement. Angle refuses the handshake....because tag partners don’t shake hands, they hug. He then embraces Benoit in a hug that’s almost as creepy as the infamous Austin/McMahon hug.
Shown on F-View, Victoria talks to a mirror in the back asking who’s the prettiest diva of them all....and when the Mirror Mirror on the wall supposedly says Trish, Victoria flips out.
Nice video package is shown detailing the Victoria/Trish storyline. Apparently, she doesn’t just want Trish’s title....but also her soul. Damn, I miss the days where Mortal Kombat didn’t suck.
Trish Stratus vs. Victoria for the WWE Women’s Title in a Hardcore match.
Match Background: Two months ago, when Victoria came into WWE, she claimed that Trish slept her way to the top, going to WWE without her. During a match for the Women’s title on Raw, Victoria clocked Trish over the head with a steel chair causing a DQ. They battled at last month’s No Mercy with Trish retaining her title. This sent her over the edge, attacking anyone who even reminded her of Trish, like Terri Runnels. The rematch for the Women’s Championship is tonight....in a Hardcore Rules match.
The Match: Instead of waiting for the doors to open up like every other competitor tonight, Victoria pushes the doors open in a simple little way of pushing her psychotic character some more. Attached to each ring post are trashcans full of weapons for easy access. After Trish enters the ring, Victoria pulls her to the mat as she’s trying to take off her jacket and goes to work on her, choking Trish with it. Victoria swings at Trish with a broomstick a few times and ends up straddling her and choking her with it as well. MSG breaks into an “HLA” chant in a funny moment. Victoria sits on the top and chokes Trish some more with the broomstick before Trish is able to pull her off. Stratus goes for a trashcan lid shot, but Victoria nails it with the brookstick, knocking Trish down. On the outside, Victoria irish whips her into one of the trash cans set up in the turnbuckles. Victoria throws her back in and slingshot legdrops her for two. She sets up a trashcan in the corner, but Trish catapults her into it! She places the trash can on Victoria’s face and kicks it off and Victoria looks hurt. Trish gets an ironing board and sets it up in the corner before whipping her into it for two. Trish then retrieves a Singapore Cane and uses it a few times on Victoria before she comes back with a trash can lid shot. Victoria is bleeding from the nose or mouth it seems! She heads up top but Trish goes for her handstand ‘rana. Victoria holds onto her legs in a Walls of Jericho like reversal, but Trish nails her with the trashcan lid. Another hard shot and she falls to the floor! Victoria back in....and powerbombs Trish! She goes under the ring and gets a mirror (which is only available in women’s hardcore matches apparently). She doesn’t get to use it as Trish gets a roundhouse to the face for two. Trish turns around to get a weapon as Victoria gets a waistlock on her. Trish turns it into a sloppy bulldog for two! I figured that to be the finish. Victoria gets a drop toe hold and goes to the outside. She retrieves a fire extinguisher and Trish grabs her by the hair. For those of us who’ve seen billions of hardcore matches, you know what comes next.....fire extinguisher sprayed to the face right? Well, someone didn’t tell Victoria how to work it as it doesn’t go off. She fiddles around with it and finally sprays her with it.....making Trish look like an idiot for just standing there. Victoria gets a snap suplex.....and the three count!? Victoria is your new Women’s Champion.
My Opinion: The brawl had a few sloppy moments, but it was a novelty considering it was between two women. The ending of the match came out of nowhere. ½*
We’re sent to the back as The Coach is with Eric Bischoff. He asks him about the Elimination Chamber....before he gets to say anything significant, The Big Show interrupts him and tells him that he made a mistake trading him and he’ll show him why tonight.
Meanwhile, Paul Heyman is holding onto the WWE Title for dear life as Brock is getting ready for the title match. He tells Brock that he will do “everything in my power to make sure....that MY CLIENT leaves tonight the WWE Champion”. Uh oh....he didn’t say Brock. SHIT.
This leads us to....
Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman vs. The Big Show for the WWE Title.
Match Background: The Smackdown after No Mercy, The Big Show took out The Undertaker and called out Brock Lesnar. Lesnar granted him a title shot at Survivor Series, despite not being 100% after his HIAC match with The Undertaker. This infuriated Paul Heyman who flat out told him that he can’t beat The Big Show because he can’t throw him around like he does with everyone else or F5 him. Show then interfered in a match between Lesnar and Mysterio, chokeslamming Brock through the announce table. Heyman insisted that Brock not retaliate....and because he refused to listen to his advice, he decided not to accompany Brock to his title defense against Eddie Guerrero two weeks ago. After the match, Big Show threw Brock off the stage the same way he did to the Undertaker, legitimately injuring one of his ribs. Brock was able to get a measure of revenge by attacking Show at the end of this week’s Smackdown with a steel chair. Most wrestling fans and analysts (including myself) considered this a lock to be a Brock win. However, due to the legit injury.....all bets are now off.
The Match: MASSIVE POP for Brock’s entrance! WOW! Brock immediately gets in Show’s face and they lock up to a stalemate. HUGE “Lets Go Lesnar” chant not heard since SummerSlam! I guess New York really loves Brock! Show tosses Lesnar across the ring with a hiptoss, but Brock comes back with a tackle and takes him to the outside. Show posts him, back first and sends him back in. Show goes for the chokeslam but Brock counters and gets a belly to back suplex! Well, it looked like one but Show barely got off the ground. I’ll give him points for trying it. Show misses a charge in the corner.....and Brock GERMAN SUPLEXES the Big Show! Well...once again, he barely got off the ground and if he hadn’t jumped the little he did, he probably would have broken Brock’s face falling back the way he did. “Lets Go Lesnar” chant again. F5 is countered by Show who whips Brock into the ropes and comes back, bumping the ref. Brock gets an OVER HEAD BELLY TO BELLY on Big Show! Now THAT got a pop! Heyman throws a chair into the ring while the ref is down. Brock goes for the chair, but Show goes for the chokeslam! Brock counters out of that and tries a chair shot! Show blocks it...with his FIST, but Brock is persistent and nails him with one anyway! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! Lesnar has Show on his shoulders for an F5 with a legit broken rib! He did it to a HUGE pop! A new ref comes in count the pinfall but Heyman pulls him out and punches him down! Lesnar looks at Heyman....and just realized that he’s turned on him. He chases Heyman around the ring....and then into the ring, but gets cut off by a Show chair shot to the ribs! A chair shot to the back and the AAAHHH Chokeslam onto the chair for the ONE.....TWO....THREE! The Big Show is the new WWE Champion! He and Heyman celebrate together and leave the building in a ready and waiting car.
My Opinion: SPECIAL props go out to Matthew J. Polick who called this ENTIRE angle from day one....and I mean the day Show told Bischoff he should be in main events (No Mercy). I fought him tooth and nail on this one...but I can admit when I’m wrong. They really pushed the face turn into high gear and they did it with the right crowd. As sad as Big Show being WWE Champ is.....we’ve had it before and he’ll lose it to Brock at the next PPV, I’m sure. The angle was done well, the match was about: *
In the crowd...Al Wilson and Dawn Marie are watching the nights festivities. Someone take Al Wilson away from my TV and keep him there. Then, have that same person take Dawn Marie and put her in my bed. I tip well.
Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit vs. Edge & Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero & Chavo Guerrero for the WWE Tag Team Titles:
Match Background: Angle and Benoit defeated Eddie and Chavo in the Semi Finals of the Smackdown Tag Title Tournament last month to win the right to face Edge & Rey. Angle and Benoit then defeated Edge and Rey in the Match of the Year so far last month at No Mercy. Edge & Rey then defeated Los Guerreros in a Number 1 Contendership match on Smackdown three weeks ago. Rey and Edge then defeated Angle & Benoit for the WWE Tag Titles in a 2 out of the 3 falls match up after miscommunication by the former Tag champs. The Guerrero’s always seem to stick their noses in Angle and Benoit’s matters and so this lead to a match on Super Tuesday between Edge, Benoit and Eddie Guerrero. Due to miscommunication on Angle and Benoit’s part, Benoit was pinned by Guerrero to lose match. The Guerrero’s made a request to Smackdown GM Stephanie McMahon....and it was granted. The match is a triple threat elimination tag title match.
The Match: Pretty cool entrance for Rey as he gets his trademark leap into view on the pyro ramp and has to make his way through the crowd to get to the ring. Angle got a pop for his entrance, as well as the “You Suck” chants. You know....now that I look at ‘em, there’s something about those Smackdown Tag Titles that just looks like they’re really fake. I don’t know what. Eddie Guerrero is a rudo GOD as he picks fights with both teams and then makes sure that members of the other teams start the match. Mysterio and Benoit start the match as Rey uses his quickness to get away from Benoit for a moment, but gets KILLED with two Benoit chops. Rey comes back with a ‘rana and a flapjack, which looks funny coming from Rey. Tag into Edge and they double hiptoss Benoit before he comes back with some massive chops and a tag in to Angle. Angle eats some Edge offense before tagging Chavo and taking a breather. Edge takes Chavo down, but he nips up only to receive a sloppy dropkick by Edge. Rey comes in with a slingshot splash on Chavo, but he’s able to come back and tag in his uncle, the Rudo GOD Eddie. Eddie and Rey go all LUCHA~! on us with some tilt a while armdrags and ‘ranas before Rey gets a monkey flip and Eddie tags out to Angle. “Lets Go Angle” chant by the crowd. See, they recognize the talent, but that “You Suck” chant is going to be hard to overcome if he ever turns face. Rey and Angle do a spot that actually bothers me as Rey is whipped into the turnbuckle and moves out of the way of an Angle charge.....before he’s supposed to do it and Angle does it anyway. Rey charges Angle who tosses him over his head onto the top rope, but Rey LOSES HIS FOOTING and goes crashing down, landing RIGHT on his HEAD HARD! Angle tags in Rey who gives him a neckbreaker followed by a TEXTBOOK belly to back suplex. Angle comes back with a belly to back of his own. Rey armdrags out of a Angle Slam attempt but gets worked on by Angle and Benoit. Angle cinches in a front face lock for about 30 seconds on Mysterio. Angle tries a German suplex on Rey, but Rey flips through and hits Angle with a NICE spinning wheel kick. Angle goes to tag Eddie....but Eddie falls to the apron to avoid being tagged! He’s such an ass sometimes, I LOVE IT. Angle tags in Benoit and Rey gets the hot tag to Edge and he’s a HOUSE....EN....FUEGO~! After Edge takes care of everyone but Eddie, Rey ‘ranas Eddie to the outside, leaving Angle and Benoit in a prime position for a double spear. He goes for it.....but gets a drop toe hold by Angle. DOUBLE SUBMISSION~!! as Angle has the Anklelock on at the same time as the CROSSFACE~! Edge doesn’t tap as Rey makes the save for him! Angle and Chavo brawl on the outside as Rey hits a corkscrew plancha on the both of them. Benoit makes Edge PAY with a few German Suplexes in the ring! Eddie comes off the top with a sunset flip on Benoit while his arms were locked on Edge, German suplexing him as Eddie gets a roll up for two! That move has been done quite a few times in TNA lately....and much smoother. Benoit throws Eddie over the top and once again makes Edge PAY with some MORE German suplexes! THUMB ACROSS THE THROAT~! While Benoit heads to the top, Eddie comes off with the Frog Splash! ONE....TWO....The DIVING HEADBUTT~! breaks it up! Angle comes in.....Angle Slam on Eddie! Anklelock on Eddie! CROSSFACE~! on Edge! Chavo comes in from behind and nails Benoit in the back on the head with one of the tag titles. Angle knocks Chavo down, who throws the title at him. Benoit turns around and thinks HE hit him and they begin arguing before Rey knocks them BOTH down! Rey with a baseball slide ‘rana on Chavo! Edge spears Benoit in the ring and Angle and Benoit are eliminated!
Angle and Benoit are PISSED and start suplexing everyone before arguing with each other up the ramp. Its now Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey.
Eddie gets his slingshot senton on Edge and then unleashes a FLURRY of elbows and forearm shivers. With Chavo in the ring arguing with the ref, Eddie uses the tag ropes to choke Edge, like a good heel. An Eddie and Chavo doubleteam backfires as Edge double flapjacks them and makes the hot tag to Mysterio! He hits a rana on Chavo and a tilt a while backbreaker on Eddie! Chavo misses a corner avalanche on Rey and ends up hitting his Uncle Eddie! Edge with a spear to both men! Eddie looks like he’s going to get a Bronco Buster......NO! He got a dropkick to the FACE. DAMN! Alley Oop by Edge and Rey lead to a close two as Chavo saves Eddie from the pinfall. Some miscommunication in the ring as Edge and Eddie screw up an irish whip AND placing him on the 2nd rope for the 619. They get it done eventually and Rey hits it for a pop. Rey goes for the West Coast Pop but Chavo hits him across the back with one of the tag straps! It actually looked like he was going to trip over the ropes anyway. Edge and Chavo start brawling on the outside as Eddie locks on the El Passo Lasso and Rey taps out! Eddie and Chavo are the NEW WWE Tag Team Champions!
My Opinion: Good match, but with the caliber of talent in the ring, I’ve got to say that I was disappointed. It looked like Rey was legitimately shaken up after falling on his head and he wasn’t the only one who blew some spots. I think the decision to put the titles on the Guerreros is the right one as it seems that the other four competitors would be better served in singles competition. It really says something about the stature of their ability when we expect ****+ matches all of the time from them and we’re disappointed when we don’t get it. ***3/4.
All of a sudden, we hear Christopher Nowinski’s music and he makes his way to the ring. He takes a few cheap shots on the Knicks and Yankees (bastard) before calling the fans in NYC stupid. MATTITUDE~! interrupts by insisting that they aren’t stupid...they’re just losers! (Matt Hardy factoids for tonight: Matt keeps his room at a toasty 75 degrees & Matt only drinks lowfat chocolate milk). He actually claims that we are SUCKING the MATTITUDE~! out of him! Nowinski and Hardy argue about whether we’re stupid or losers. Pretty funny moment as Nowinski asks the crowd which we’d prefer to be. They decide to compromise.....we’re LUPID~! Hardy: “Who said that a Raw and a Smackdown guy couldn’t get along?”.
Then, SCOTT STEINER’S music hits to a HUGE Pop! Big Poppa Pump comes down to the ring and just poses in an intimidating fashion. Matt Hardy shoves Nowinski into a Steiner clothesline before getting an overhead belly to belly Suplex! Nowinski gets a T-Bone suplex! Spinning Belly to Belly on Matt Hardy!! HUGE “Steiner” chant! He tosses Nowinski to the outside....Gorilla Press Slams Matt Hardy and throws him onto Nowinski! He gets down and starts doing push ups to a pop! These people are popping for PUSH UPS! The crowd starts barking like Rick Steiner.....see, you only need one to get the same reaction! “Gimme the fuckin’ mic!” He grabs THE STICK~! and THAT gets a pop! “This goes for all my freaks in New York City! Big Poppa Pump is your Hook up.....Holler....If Ya Hear Me!”. Well, someone’s massively over already. I just hope they don’t drop the ball like they did with the last guy that debuted at a MSG PPV. You know the one. The Smackdown announcer.
The Elimination Chamber starts to lower as we go to the back for an interview. Terri is in the back with Shawn Michaels....but he’s cut off by RNN Breaking News! It was probably better than any bible thumping promo HBK was about to cut anyway.
We go to a PHAT video package about the Elimination Chamber, set to Saliva’s “Always”. The music goes with the video SO well. Kudos to the WWE production team.
An interview with HHH and The Coach.....and HHH says nothing of importance.
First Ever Elimination Chamber Match
Triple H vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Match Background: Eric Bischoff, the General Manager of Raw, has been trying to out do Stephanie McMahon since he was hired by Vince McMahon. Since that time, Raw hasn’t had a main event slot on a PPV and Bischoff wanted to make something that would be even better than Hell in the Cell. He then made announced the match for the Elimination Chamber for the World Heavyweight title including six men: HHH, RVD, Booker T, Kane, Y2J and HBK.
Triple H has had a history with all 5 competitors in this match up. HHH and RVD hooked it up at Unforgiven, Kane at No Mercy and HBK in their popular SummerSlam match. He and Y2J met for the Undisputed Title at Wrestlemania this year as well. He and Booker T exchanged wins in the past two weeks on Raw and it seems that HHH retaining his title isn’t a possibility, but stranger things have happened.
The Match: Eric Bischoff comes down and explains the rules of the match. The Chamber is like a domed Hell in a Cell, but filling the outside of the ring with a steel surface area so there is no way to “go to the outside” so to speak. The ring is at the same surface level as the rest of the Chamber. Instead of a steel link fence, the Chamber is a chain link fence. There are 4 “chambers “ in each corner, made out of plexi glass, large enough to fit one person in. Two men will start the match, while the other 4 competitors will be confined in the chambers until they are let out in 5 minute intervals. To be eliminated, its either pinfall or submission.
Jericho comes to the ring first.....with Saliva playing his theme live from The World. They’ve now changed the World Tag Titles...the familiar Tag belts we all know and love are gone. Booker T, Kane and HBK follow, so they will be in the chambers.
RVD and HHH start the match out and RVD gets a spinning heel kick first. HHH gets the facebuster and goes for the Pedigree, but RVD backdrops HHH over the top rope onto the steel rampway. HHH gets thrown into the door of the Chamber a few times...and the latch comes off and the door actually opens. So much for “impossible to get out”, eh? RVD monkey flips HHH on the steel on the outside....and then hits Rolling Thunder over the top to the steel! HHH is already bleeding from his forehead! RVD climbs the chain link wall of the Chamber and gets on top of Jericho’s cell, planning on jumping into the ring. In a Carrie-like fashion, Jericho grabs his leg and pulls him partially into his cell. Well, thats one problem with the cell already. The top of each chamber shouldn’t be chain linked....it should be solid to make it a higher surface to jump off of. Either way, it doesn’t matter because the roof is so low compared to the top of the chamber that if you were to try and jump off, you’d hit your head on the roof if you got enough height. Anyway, RVD kicks Jericho off and gets off the top of his chamber. He comes off the top turnbuckle with a somersault plancha on HHH. The fans count down the time as Jericho is the first person released from the Chamber....complete with lights and music. RVD takes on Jericho for the first minute of the match as HHH rests in the corner. Cool spot as RVD comes off the top towards Jericho, but he ducks. RVD ends up catching himself on the chain link fence ala Spider Man and comes off with a cross body onto him. HHH gets him with a clothesline and the heels double team him. Jericho even gets a COCKY PIN~! full with “Come on Baybay” audio! Y2J and HHH toss him into the chambers fencing a few times and man, that Chamber looks STIFF. HARD chops by Y2J in the corner on RVD. RVD actually comes back with wheel kicks on both men, but HHH gets a DDT on him. Booker T is then released and he comes in as a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! After taking them all out, we get The SPINAROONIE~! RVD and Booker T come to blows with Booker getting the advantage with a Harlem sidekick. This match is a lot slower than it should be. HHH finally comes back into the ring and Booker gets the scissors kick on him. RVD heads to the top for the Five Star FrogSplash, but decides that the top rope isn’t good enough.....so he gets on top of Jericho’s Chamber again. This time, he’s not in it to stop him. He hits the move, but it doesn’t look good because he basically had to fall forward without moving upward. It looks like he hurt his leg actually. Booker T gets RVD with a Missile dropkick.....and he pins RVD! What the hell!? Alright....I think that might have been a legit injury.
Booker goes for the pin on HHH, but he gets his foot on the rope. Jericho and Booker go at it, with Jericho getting a bulldog, but missing a Lionsault. Kane is then released from his chamber. Kane comes in and goes after Jericho and Booker T. He tosses Y2J into the chain link fence and then throws him into one of the chambers! The plexi glass breaks off of the panels and he goes right THROUGH IT! I don’t know if that was supposed to happen that way. Booker is brawling with Kane in the ring....he comes off the ropes, but Y2J gives him a low blow! Kane with a chokeslam on Booker! Jericho with the Lionsault! Booker T is eliminated! Well, damn. The only two people I really wanted to see win this thing are the first two eliminated. To be honest, this match really isn’t keeping my interest.
Kane and Jericho pair off for a while....HHH has been doing NOTHING since the Five Star Frogsplash. “HBK” chant as the clock winds down and he’s released. He goes after Y2J and Kane, with Kane overselling all of his punches until clotheslining him down. Kane gets a chokeslam on HBK! A chokeslam on HHH! A chokeslam on Y2J! Instead of pinning one of them, he wants a Tombstone. HHH turns around and shoves him into an HBK SuperKick! Pedigree on Kane! He always puts his knees up first....thats so annoying. Lionsault! Y2J has eliminated Kane as well!
Y2J tries to get HBK to bleed....although I think he ended up using a blood capsule. Now that he’s found religion, he’s against blading. HHH and Y2J doubleteam HBK for a few minutes as I’m being lulled to sleep. Y2J takes over on HBK duty as HHH rests some more. HBK goes for a piledriver on Y2J, but gets backdropped on the steel!!!! HHH takes HBK and goes for a clothesline. Shawn ducks, hits the forearm and then nips up. It doesn’t have NEARLY the same effect it did when he did it the first time. Y2J gets a bulldog from behind followed by the Lionsault! ONE.....TWO.....NO! HBK moonsaults off the top onto Y2J for a two count. He puts the Walls of Jericho ON Jericho but HHH stops that cold with a DDT. Y2J goes to pin HBK, but gets stopped by HHH who wants HBK for himself. This leads to an argument between those two and they go at it. HHH goes for the Pedigree on Y2J, but its reversed into the Walls of Jericho! Yeah, like HHH will really tap out to that. Sweet Chin Music on Y2J while HHH is in the Walls! Jericho is now eliminated by HBK!
It’s down to HBK and HHH. HHH gives HBK a spinebuster for two. They battle on the steel rampway and HBK goes for a Pedigree. HHH reverses it into a catapult into one of the chambers, with Michaels crashing right though it. HHH took WAY too long to cover for a pin, so the crowd didn’t even buy it as a near fall. This is mainly just HHH punching HBK a lot. They’re exchanging right hands! HHH gets the facebuster though. HHH goes for a Pedigree, but its reversed into a catapult. Jesus, how many times is that going to happen in this stupid match! HBK throws HHH into the ring....and heads to the top. No, he wants the top of a chamber! He jumps off of a chamber with a flying elbow onto HHH! He’s signalling for Sweet Chin Music....he goes for it, but its caught by HHH! Pedigree by HHH but he can’t cover! HHH finally crawls over.....but HBK kicks out! Pedigree attempt again, but HBK backdrops him and hits Sweet Chin Music for the win! HBK is your new World Heavyweight Champion!
My Opinion: This gimmick can work, but it needs a LOT of tweaking. As it stands now, it’s just boring. The fact that someone can be eliminated before all of the participants are in lessens the impact of having 6 men in a match. The roof is too short, so high risk moves are much more difficult and dangerous to do. I’ll take the 6-man match from Armaggedon 2000 ANY day.
As for the results of the match, I was extremely disappointed. It seems as if HHH will only job to HBK....and now a part time wrestler only in his second match in 4 years is the World Champ. Booker and RVD were treated like total non entities in this match. It was poorly paced and poorly booked. They’re really going to have to spruce up the cage and change the rules if they expect it to draw any money again. If they wanted to do HBK vs. HHH they should have just done that and made Y2J vs. Booker a separate match. **
Overall: It was a decent show, but not nearly as good as last months No Mercy. Every title changed hands which is refreshing, but not a good idea for all of them. The though of Big Show as champion really bothers me. Well, I’m VERY tired and hopefully I’ll kick this illness’ ass. If you want to discuss this review, just drop me a line.
‘Til Next Time,
The Dames, Damian Gonzalez
If you have any questions, comments, hate mail, fan mail, whatever.....send it all to: [email protected]
If you'd like to read any more of my articles, just check out The Archives