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TNA
The Dames' Diatribe on NWA:TNA Week 34
Posted by The Dames on Mar 6, 2003, 02:13
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The Dames' Diatribe on NWA:TNA Week 34
Hello and welcome back to your weekly TNA review.
First off, much thanks to all of you who read my WWE No Way Out 2003 Diatribe. I'm gearing up for the big one, Wrestlemania, although I'm sure WWE doesn't even know what they're going to do about the Smackdown main event now that Kurt Angle is out for a year.
Really quick scenario that I came up with in order for a double turn to take place now that there isn't a big heel going into 'Mania. Remember, this is just off the top of my head. Angle drops the title to Brock in a quick match on Smackdown. After the match, Brock just beats the HELL out of Angle (without hurting the neck, so no chair shots to the head, or belly to belly's or something like that) to the point that it becomes excessive. Cole and Tazz sell it for the home audience as if Brock's actions are uncalled for...and if he just doesn't stop and becomes malicious with it, eventually the fans will boo. Benoit comes down to take Brock off, but Brock shoves him aside and continues to beat on Angle until Benoit has no choice but to force him off with a German suplex. Think Shamrock/Bret from WM 13. Once the announcement that Kurt Angle is out for a year with a neck injury is made, most of the fans will be disappointed, because let's face it...heel or not, Angle is entertaining. Hell, HHH was missed soon after his injury. In the meantime, this sets up Brock/Benoit at Mania for the title. Just a quick little scenario...drop me a line and let me know what you think.
Anyway, let's get right into the show.
The PPV starts in the usual manner, but then the lights go off and we go to a Raven promo. He's sitting in the balcony with a sign above him that reads "Raven's Nest". He begins cutting another cryptic promo on Sandman. "Fighting me in my own creation is foolhardy at best....suicide at worst". He talks about his destiny to be the NWA Champion, so he wants to get rid of Sandman as quickly as possible in order to get to it. The first production error of the night occurs as the lights go out on Raven in the middle of his promo, but it's quickly restored. As his promo ends...a voice comes booming out of the speakers going "whoa whoa whoa!"
Before we find out who the voice belongs to....the feed cuts off as the first BIG production error of the night occurs. I'm not exactly sure if that happened everywhere, but all of a sudden, In Demand put up this: "NWA-TNA will be right back!" I'd be PISSED if I was ordering TNA for the first time....
EVENTUALLY, the show comes back on and KEVIN SULLIVAN is in the ring talking to Raven! He talks about being hardcore throughout all of his career, but questions Raven's hardcore-ness. Yes, I made a new word! He calls that Clockwork Orange House of Fun the "most violent match ever invented" and compliments Raven on coming up with it. Sullivan wants to be the special observer for the match tonight (because being a special ref means he'd have to enforce rules) and wants lots of violence for tonight. Sullivan threatens true violence if Raven doesn't inflict violence on Sandman. Raven, who is in the middle of the crowd now is leveled by the Sandman at this point and Sandman celebrates immediately by having a beer, like always.
We go to Tenay and West at the announce position...and in a hilarious moment, while Tenay apologizes about the technical difficulties from earlier, he's drowned out by a sudden burst of music and Tenay becomes inaudible. It's resolved quickly though as he pimps a special interview with Vince Russo tonight.
Konnan comes down to the ring and takes THE STICK~! He pimps Super Crazy's resume as he brings out the Insane Luchador to the ring to a small pop. He runs into the ring and does a crisp nip up, like always.
Jerry Lynn vs. Super Crazy (w/Konnan)
Match Background: Jerry Lynn and Konnan got in a verbal war of words concerning Lucha Libre vs. the X Division. After Lynn was jumped by the SAT's on behalf of Konnan in Week 31, he took them on the following week in a triple threat match and was able to outsmart and defeat them, to Konnan's dismay. Konnan stated while doing color commentary two weeks ago that he would be bringing in luchadores from Mexico to TNA to re-establish the X Division and prove to Jerry Lynn that Lucha is greater than X. This lead to a match between Jerry Lynn and Juventud Guerrera last week, a solid encounter which has gotten a lot of praise particularly for Juvi's performance. This week, however, he faces Super Crazy...a man that he has faced numerous times in ECW although it was mostly in 3 way dances with Tajiri. (Condolences go out to WWE's Yoshihiro Tajiri by the way as he lost a child earlier this week and is at home recovering.) To be completely honest with you, I'm pretty sure they've faced each other one on one in ECW, but I'm pretty sure it didn't happen on a PPV.
The Match: The first thing I've got to note is that Super Crazy seems to have gained a few pounds and is wearing a t-shirt over his usual attire. They lock up with each man trying to get the advantage with arm drags and complicated pinfall attempts. After a stalemate, a "Jerry" chant breaks out. Another reversal sequence lead to an Indy Applause Pause...and this one was actually good and got a pop. The crowd definitely is louder this week, unless TNA improved their crowd mics. Super Crazy goes for a spinning sit out powerbomb, but Lynn head scissors out of it and comes off the ropes with a tilt a whirl head scissors as well. Crazy goes to talk to Konnan, so Lynn dropkicks him off of the apron. Lynn jumps off the apron with a rana to the floor and the crowd chants "TNA". Back in the ring now, Lynn charges Crazy in the corner, but EATS BOOT. Crazy gets the 10 punches in the corner...and the Nashville crowd actually chants it in Spanish! I didn't think Nashville was an ECW town...or that they cared enough to learn how to count to ten in Spanish! He goes for it again, but Lynn shoves him down and hits a swinging DDT for two! Crazy starts a chase around the ring, but it all ends with a spinning wheel kick from Crazy sending Lynn to the floor. Crazy jumps over and hits the CRAZY SPECIAL~! (Top Rope Asai Moonsault to the outside!), but doesn't land on his feet like usual as the ramp is too close to the ring. Hey, it was still GORGEOUS. Crazy goes back into the ring, attempting to go off the top, but he's caught by Lynn! Lynn gets shoved off and Crazy gets a quebrada for a close two count! Konnan wants Crazy to finish him now. Lynn gets a TKO out of nowhere and gets another close two count! Jerry signals for the Cradle Piledriver, but Konnan distracts him and Crazy gets out of it. A Sunset flip roll through by Jerry Lynn leads to him getting kicked in the mouth by a Crazy dropkick, just like last week against Juvi. TOP ROPE Lionsault gets a ONE...TWO..NO! Crazy goes for a suplex, but Lynn rolls out, trying to counter but ends up eating a swinging DDT instead! Super Crazy with the spinning sit out powerbomb for the ONE...TWO...NO! Crazy places Lynn on top and 'ranas him down, but Lynn holds on and rolls through for the pinfall!
Winner: Jerry Lynn
After the match, Konnan, visibly upset with Crazy goes into the ring and verbally harasses him for the loss. Konnan shoves him a few times and ends up slapping Crazy, which results in Crazy pushing him back, but they end up leaving together...
My Opinion: Not as good as the Lynn/Juvi match from last week, but still very solid. Super Crazy can still go and has a style that would get over in TNA in a second. This angle is great and is producing great matches, but I'm confused as to what the point is of bringing in all of these guys just to job to Lynn. Let Juvi and Super Crazy stick around as well as some others coming in, but throw them a bone eventually. **1/2
We're shown a video package recapping last week's events between Jeff Jarrett, Vince Russo and Russo's kids. Conspicuous by its absence are the comments Russo made after viewing the footage of his sons where he basically cut a promo on his kids.
We're now taken to video footage of Mike Tenay in an office with Vince Russo sitting behind a desk. Apparently, this office is in Atlanta where Russo lives and the interview took place sometime during the week as Russo felt it was urgent. Russo says that after last week, listening to his sons tell him how bad of a father he was, he realized that he's been spending too much time away from home. He brings up Curt Hennig's name, saying that he died at 44 years old and he doesn't want to end up missing more family time like Hennig probably did. He then says that he's 42...and he's prioritizing, so he's quitting the wrestling business. Tenay wants to know why we should believe him. Russo tells him that Tenay is so consumed with the business that he assumed everything is a work...that everything is an angle. Russo: "This isn't an angle and I wouldn't even wish it was an angle". Tenay: "Time will tell"....
My Two Cents: It's an angle. Hey, I'm all for less Russo on my TV, or none at all as this case seems to be, but don't try to sell me that this isn't an angle. The viewers are supposed to believe that Jarrett showing Vince this pre-taped footage made him go home and quit the business? Russo cut a promo on his CHILDREN last week! Some of his feelings are probably based in reality, but I highly doubt that a "storyline" would influence a performers life like that....unless you're Kevin Sullivan and you book your marriage into the ground. Does this mean the end of S.E.X. though? God, I hope so.
The Hot Shots (w/Sanders & Gilberti) vs. The Disciples of the New Church (w/ Father James Mitchell)
Match Background: There's no real history here....they've always been on the heel side at the same time so they never crossed paths til now. The Hot Shots just joined S.E.X. last week and were seconded by Sanders and Gilberti and will be this week as well.
The Match: The match starts with the Disciples taking care of The Hot Shots in a ring....but they cut away to ringside where "Ace in the Hole" Sonny Siaki and Desire tell Sanders and Gilberti to go back to the TNA locker room. lash hits rolling cobra clutch leg sweeps in the ring as this is all going on by the way. The announcers have now got ME all confused as the man I thought was Chase Stevens (and the man they've been calling Chase Stevens) is actually Cassidy O'Reilly and vice versa. Someone who actually KNOWS, please email me. I was under the impression that the Shane Douglas look-a-like was Chase Stevens. Well, either way, Wannabe Douglas tries to come into the ring to save his partner, but Slash has them both under control. Slash actually head scissors the other Hot Shot into the turnbuckles in a cool spot. Lee comes in and the Hot Shots make a tag but it's all for naught as Brian Lee hits three running elbow drops in a row. Ron "The Truth" Killings is again sitting in the crowd looking on... reminiscing of the infamous Sting angle when no one knew who's side he was on. A double team by the Hot Shots leads to a missile dropkick for dos. Slash takes Stevens (or is it O'Reilly) and hits his airplane whirly bird slam before tagging out to Brian Lee for the cold tag. Seriously, the fans didn't care. Lee chokeslams the hell out of one of them and goes for the Fake Tombstone on the other, but eats a superkick and falls to the canvas. Wannabe Shane Douglas misses a springboard Low-Down attempt and Slash also misses coming off the top rope. The other Hot Shot...the man formerly known as Cassidy O'Reilly to me, tries to go up to the top...slips, but regains his footing. He comes off the top with a nice moonsault, but gets nothing but knee trouble as he hits the canvas. Brian Lee then comes off the top with a knee drop on him and gets a two count...although Wannabe Douglas missed the cue save. Slash tries a super back drop off the top, but gets caught with a running sit out powerbomb by the other Hot Shot for two. Wannabe Douglas then REALLY wants to be Douglas as he takes a chain from out of his trunks and wraps it around his hand, coming off the top and nailing Lee with it for two! Slash takes care of him though and the other Hot Shot gets tripped up by Mitchell at ringside, allowing the Disciples to take him and come off the top with a modified Doomsday Device for the win! (Dropkicking the guy off instead of clotheslining him.)
Winners: The Disciples of the New Church
After the match, The Hot Shots run into the Harris Brothers on the way to the locker room....and the Harris' start beating them up and throw them out of the building!
My Opinion: Well, after the Hot Shots were carried to a decent match with AMW last week, they sure messed up a lot tonight. First off, I'm not even sure which is which because Tenay and West keep changing their names. Second, they blew a few spots and some of it was quite messy and in slow mo. The Disciples kept the fans in it at the least possible level and even then, you could hear a pin drop during the "hot" tag. With the Harris' throwing out the Hot Shots, don't expect to see them again in the next few weeks. Then again, they always do this disappearing act. 3/4 *
Goldylocks is in the back with The Sandman, who's smoking and drinking like always. She asks him to describe what the match will be like, but Sandman doesn't know what it is....or what it's called either apparently. He says "lions and tigers and bears, oh my" for no reason for the second week in a row too. He promises bloodshed and violence. He puts over Kevin Sullivan in the promo as well. Goldylocks (lookin' mighty fine tonight) gets visibly upset when Sandman starts tossing and spitting beer out, probably ruining her new clothes and getting it her hair. Hey, I don't blame her.
OOhh...the new cheeky TNA girl from last week is back!
We go to another video package about last week's events, this time emphasizing the encounter between Jarrett and Eric Watts, Brian Lawler and David Flair.
After it's over, Tenay asks Jeff Jarrett to come into the ring. He first and foremost asks about his reaction to the Russo footage shown earlier. Jarrett felt that it was a low blow and showed no compassion, but he doesn't regret it. He says a few more words about Russo, putting over the determination and "balls" that he's always shown, but Jarrett had to set his straight. Tenay then asks about AJ Styles and Raven and what he thinks of them getting title shots...but he's interrupted by Eric Watts. Watts looks like a thinner version of Bryan Adams now. He comes down to the ring with David Flair and Brian Lawler as he speaks to Jarrett. Watts talks about their childhood growing up close as both of their fathers were wrestling promoters (Jerry Jarrett and Bill Watts, respectively). Watts then brings up all of his personal accomplishments, including training Dennis Rodman, Karl Malone and Jay Leno. Insert joke here. Watts then says that he was held down in the WWF when he was there (BRIEFLY as part of a tag team) "because they couldn't see the talent", he expected his friend Jeff Jarrett to help out, but he didn't. Watts: "Does it bother you Jeff that it took you 10 years to make it into the big leagues while it took me only 21 days to get a contract in WCW?" (Note: Watts was brought in immediately after his father was running the company and that's probably the ONLY reason he was put on TV as he was horrible...) He also talks about being the PWI Rookie of the Year....which really says a lot about either PWI's selection process or that must have been a BAD year for rookies. Basically, his problem is that Jarrett never helped him out. The crowd starts chanting "We Don't Care" VERY loud and this is coming from the TNA crowd now, people! He finishes by saying that Jarrett won't attack him from behind...and walks away.
My Two Cents: What a bad...bad...promo. Eric Watts tried so hard to put himself over, but didn't have any REAL accomplishments to do so and just made himself look and sound worse in the process. Everything he said was just so damn drawn out and sleep inducing. Honestly....Jarrett's got enough on his plate with Raven and AJ Styles to have to worry about some kid who never made it past the mid card in the OLD WCW and they're just speading the main event rub a little TOO much here.
Disgraceland (w/Mike Sanders and Glen Gilberti) vs. Jorge Estrada
Match Background: Back in Week 32, Gilberti and Sanders brought out a debuting wrestler, a bad Elvis impersonator named Disgraceland. The man playing the part was known as Luther Biggs in WCW. Anyway, Sanders and Gilberti had stripped Jorge Estrada of his Elvis costume the week before, wanting it for "character development" purposes. Disgraceland faced Shark Boy in a pretty bad match, but afterwards, Jorge Estrada came down and attacked them from behind, but he was over come by the heels. After no mention of him last week, I had thought....and hoped...that Disgraceland would be another forgotten angle like the likes of Ryan Shamrock collecting money from wrestlers in the first few weeks, but sadly, he returns tonight to face Estrada. Please let this be a blow off match.
The Match: Estrada is still in his short tights and the puffed out fro...sporting a look that NO ONE can take seriously. He gets jumped from behind as Gilberti and Sanders join the announcers at the table. There's no peanut butter and banana sandwiches this week and I STILL can't believe that's common knowledge. I got over 50 emails and was still receiving them after last week! The camera cuts away from the match as Siaki and Desire demand Sanders and Gilberti to come back to the S.E.X. locker room again for "another meeting". Disgraceland is now all alone and Estrada hits a superkick. Estrada goes up top and misses a frog splash and gets rolled up for a two count. Tenay was disappointed that they left so quickly because they wanted to know their feelings on Russo quitting. Slingshot suplex by Disgraceland gets a two count. Overly elaborate elbow drop also gets a two count by the Elvis impersonator. Sloppy German suplex also gets a two count. They get into a chop fest in the middle of the ring, but Estrada ends it with a standing dropkick. Estrada gets a roll up for a two and this match should be over by now. The crowd doesn't give two pieces of golden plated turd about either of these guys. Disgraceland comes off the top with a double axe, but Estrada punches him in the gut. Disgraceland sells it REALLY poorly and Estrada ends up hitting some weird shin breaker suplex that I've certainly never seen before for the pin. If you know what the HELL that move was, please drop me a line.
Winner: Jorge Estrada
My Opinion: Disgraceland made Jorge Estrada seem talented. Think about that. I hope this was the end of it. 1/4* just for the finisher.
Goldylocks is in the S.E.X. locker room in the middle of an argument between the S.E.X. cast. Problem is....the mic is too low and you can't hear almost anything! From what you CAN make out, Siaki insists that he's in charge because he's "Ace in the Hole" and Sanders retorts by calling him an asshole. They get into a shoving match, but Gilberti interrupts to introduce his newest character....Holly Wood, a busty blonde wearing a low cut shirt that reads "Got Wood?". The mic is still MIGHTY low as Mortimer Plumtree tries to get a word with Siaki but the Harris' throw him out of the locker room. I hope this is the beginning of the end of S.E.X., but dammit...I had to press my ear to the TV to hear what was said.
ANOTHER production error as Lollipop is just staring into the camera for a few seconds as the dancers are shown on camera. She makes up for it by pulling her shorts down though...thank you Ms. Lollipop.
Ok, this isn't a production error, but it should be one. A few months back, one of the auctions was to be a TNA dancer....and a guy won the auction. Don't worry, he's not wearing skimpy clothes, but he IS wearing a Robin like costume, with cape and mask and is dancing for the camera......that's just disturbing.
ANOTHER production error as a clip of audio played earlier on in the broadcast is dubbed over the intro of the interrogation segment with Tenay and West. This week's segment is with Kid Kash.
Tenay: Kid Kash, the interrogation begins. Ricky Morton
Kash: Mentor
West: Rap or Rock
Kash: Rock
Tenay: Paul Heyman
Kash: Jewish!
West: AJ Styles
Kash: Really Good.
Tenay: Favorite Move
Kash: Money Maker
West: Toughest Opponent
Kash: AJ Styles
Tenay: Trinity, business or pleasure
Kash: Wouldn't you like to know?
West: Kid Kash, cocky or confident?
Kash: Very confident.
Tenay: Konnan and the luchadores
Kash: Wannabes.
West: Make War, keep peace?
Kash: Make love.
Tenay: Winning the X Division title
Kash: Biggest night of my life.
West: Amazing Red, real deal or (unintelligible)
Kash: Real Short
My Two Cents: This segment hasn't been nearly as good as it's first installment with The Truth. Kid Kash took a lot of time in between questions to answer and had a goofy smile on his face for some reason. Some of his answers....well, figure it out for yourself. Way to make your opponent sound credible before your match, Kash. Also, winning the X title might have been a great accomplishment for him, but he damn near killed himself finishing the match.
Kid Kash (w/Trinity) vs. Red for the X-Division Title
Match Background: These men have faced each other several times in TNA, but never for the X Division title. The first time they squared off was in Week 9 when Red along with the rest of the Spanish Announce Team, The Maximo's faced Kid Kash, Slim J and Shark Boy. In Week 11, Kid Kash faced Red one on one for the first time and pinned him clean. In Week 17, Red once again faced Kash and pinned him in an elimination match to earn an X Division title shot, which he ultimately lost. The last time they met in TNA rings, he also pinned Kash in Week 25 in another elimination match, but didn't win that one...that was won by Jason Cross. Tonight, it's a different story though as Kash is the champion and is defending his title against a man who has yet to hold it.
The Match: The Tale of the Tape mocks me by brandishing Kash's experience factor like a knife to my throat. Red comes out to a minimal pop, which is probably the result of coming and going so much. They put over Kash and Trinity's relationship, attributing her as the reason for his recent success although she's barely done anything since he won the title. The production errors continue as Kash's music starts blaring as Borash begins ring intros. Boxing style intros again and surprisingly, Trinity gets more of a reaction than Red from the crowd. They start by trading blows in the ring, including a cute spot where Kash tries to stomp Red like a bug, but Red keeps moving out of the way. Very quick armdrags lead to the Indy Applause Stance...and that is REALLY starting to bother me in Kash's matches. Quick counters once again lead to a second Indy Applause Stance and it's seriously on my nerves at this point. Bad spot as Kash goes for a dropkick to the knee, that Red sells, but he really kicked him in the lower shin/foot. Kash tries to work over the leg, but Red comes back with a rana and some more offense so Kash takes a breather. Red goes over the top with a somersault plancha on Kash, working him over on the outside. Red hits a STIFF kick to the back of the head/neck on Kash on the outside, but Kash and Red fight over the ridiculous Smash Mouth move back and forth until Kash actually hits it on Red. It's like watching two guys throw chairs at each other in No Mercy. That takes no real skill. With Red back in the ring, Kash comes off the top with a MONSTROUS clothesline for a close two count. Red gets CODE RED~! for a two count during the replay of the clothesline. Kash comes back with the BANK ROLL~! for a stupid two count. Dammit, that move can KILL PEOPLE and it's just a signature move! Kash goes up to the top, but gets caught by Red...who press slams him back onto the canvas!! DAMN!! Nice bit of psychology as Kash did that to Red in their first match. Both men landed SO hard, that Red's bandana fell off due to the impact! LOUD "TNA" chant for that one. Red slowly makes a cover and gets a two count out of it. Red goes up to the top rope with his back to the ring....but Kash follows and hits a SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX! Red tries to land on his feet, but the momentum sends him crashing backwards into the turnbuckles....HOLY SHIT! Now THAT is seriously Replay Worthy! ONE...TWO....NO!!! Red recovers and gets a head scissors, followed by his version of the 619, the 718, for a two count. Hey, that's my area code. Kash charges Red in the corner but goes up and over onto the apron, only to eat a spinning kick sending him to the floor. Red gets a running start and dives over the top, but lands on TRINITY! From the camera angle, you can't see if Kash just moved out of the way or pulled her, but the announcers seem to think that she just sacrificed herself. Back in the ring, Red gets his swinging Downward Spiral for a two count as the Trinity bump is replayed. Kash goes for the Money Maker, but Red rolls through for a two count. Kash bridges up, still holding Red's arms and hits the MONEY MAKER~! for the win.
Winner: Kid Kash
My Opinion: Sometimes, less is more. This match was VERY spotty and most of those big spots would have ended ANY match. If it had a slower build and more psychology, it could have been really good. **1/4.
In the back, Goldylocks is outside Jeff Jarrett's locker room trying to get a word with him on the Eric Watts situation when AJ Styles comes bursting in, demanding a rematch. Jeff Jarrett gets up and verbally puts AJ in his place, telling him that he's whining like a little bitch after kissing Vince Russo's ass last week for a shot. He got an opportunity and it was squandered, so the next time he gets a shot, it's on Jarrett's terms. He kicks AJ out of the room as we head back to West and Tenay.
We go to a pre taped sit down interview between Tenay and Americas Most Wanted. Harris and Storm thank TNA for giving them the opportunity to showcase their talents. Tenay asks them about their influences in the ring and Harris lists Bret Hart and Curt Hennig, raising his stock with me dramatically. They want the belts to be considered the best. Next week, they face XXX and they don't care what they get thrown at them. AMW talks about their match tonight against Sanders and Gilberti and how they'll take care of them tonight. Not a bad interview....
Americas Most Wanted vs. Mike Sanders & Glen Gilberti
Match Background: AMW and Sanders/Gilberti haven't really crossed paths despite being on the opposite side of the faction battle that's been raging lately. It would appear though that Sanders and Gilberti are trying to help out fellow faction mates, Triple X by weakening AMW before their title match next week.
The Match: Oh, if I haven't mentioned it, OUR God, Mike Sanders is now clean shaven. He looks even more like Dean Winters (Ryan O'Reily from Oz) now. Storm and Sanders start the match out with neither man getting an advantage. They botch a monkey flip attempt somehow but come back quickly to cover. Storm gets a NICE rana in mid air to pump the crowd up, but Sanders gets him in the corner and makes him pay with chops. HEY~!!! Storm gets Sanders in the corner and lights him up a few times. Sanders throws Storm over the top, but he skins the cat to come in and clock Sanders. Gilberti comes in and goes for the Village People's Elbow, but eats a superkick before he can complete it. Harris comes in now and gets a Lou Thesz press on the Gifted Glen Gilberti. Sanders initiates THE CHEAT~! as he kicks Harris in the back, allowing Gilberti to take over, but that's shortlived as he's tossed over the top. Sanders gets tossed over the top onto Gilberti...and then Storm jumps onto the pile! They brawl at ringside for a bit before going back into the ring. AMW goes for their double team move....and BLOW IT AGAIN like they do EVERY WEEK. Sanders comes back with a dropkick and they hit the face buster/neckbreaker combo (The Double Shot). Gilberti comes off the top with an elbow, but misses. Gilberti tries to stop Storm from tagging out by holding onto his leg and is able to duck an enziguiri, but eats a kick on the way back! Harris comes in at the same time as Sanders and MAKES Sanders bump for him! Harris with his jumping left arm clothesline sets up a HART ATTACK~! for two! One of the Moondogs comes down to ringside for some reason... Gilberti goes for a Stunner attempt, but gets shoved off into the ref in the corner, bumping him. Gilberti and Storm are battling it out on the floor as Harris puts Sanders in a PICTURE PERFECT SHARPSHOOTER, sitting down and ALL THAT! Sanders taps like Gregory Hines, but the ref is still down! That Sharpshooter is GORGEOUS! TAKE THAT ROCKY! Elix Skipper comes into the ring and nails Harris in the back with a Steel Chair! Sanders makes the cover....ONE...TWO...NO! Sanders sets up Harris for a Gilberti shot, but Harris ducks and Sanders gets nailed. Sanders falls down...on the ref as Harris spears Gilberti. Storm goes to the top, but gets shoved off by Skipper! Skipper comes into the ring and hits Harris with a WEAK ass chair shot as NO sound was made as Gilberti makes the cover for the pin.
Winners: Glen Gilberti and Mike Sanders
My Opinion: Good match with a few mistakes that takes it down a notch. I still can't get over how well Harris put that Sharpshooter on....it was simply beautiful. Both teams had great chemistry and I wouldn't mind seeing a rematch. **1/4. Would have been higher if it weren't for the blown spots. What was the point of the Moondog running down there though?
They go to the back, where Sonny Siaki gets in the faces of Elix and Sanders. Sanders tells him that he's NOT the boss...and Sanders and Siaki begin to brawl! The brawl down to ringside as S.E.X. is just tearing apart! As the ring crew set the ring up for the Raven/Sandman match, Sanders and Siaki are just fighting at ringside! They go into the ring, ring crew or not and Sanders takes over in the corner. Desire jumps on Sanders back, loyal to Sonny but Holly Wood comes out and pulls her off. This leads to a cat fight between those two and DAMN, Desire is one sexy chick. The rest of S.E.X. break it up...and tell them to make up. Siaki and Sanders shake hands...and now it's the ladies turn. Desire goes to hug Holly Wood, but instead gives her a MONSTROUS ROCK BOTTOM!!! The place really came alive with that! "TNA" chant as it's replayed...Desire looks SO DAMN GOOD kicking ass like that. Yes, I know she's horrible in the ring! Leave me alone!
We go to a video package for Raven vs. Sandman before the main event.
Raven vs. Sandman in a "Raven's Clockwork Orange House of Fun" Match
Match Background: This feud has been a long running one that stretches back to their ECW days together when Raven brainwashed Sandman's family into worshipping him. Sandman came into TNA in Week 31, going after Raven immediately and swinging his cane around. They faced each other that night in a falls count anywhere match, but Low-Ki insured that Raven got the pinfall that night. The following week, Raven also pinned The Sandman in a tag match, but Sandman won't stop going after him. Their rivalry took a slight turn last week as Raven helped AJ Styles defeat The Sandman after telling Styles that he wouldn't be able to beat such a hardcore competitor. He then challenged Sandman to wrestle him in a match that Raven created....a Clockwork Orange House of Fun match, which everyone seems to jumble up except for Raven and myself.
The Match: It's basically a hardcore match. The ring is set up with chains all over the ring ropes and hanging above the ring with weapons all over it, including a piece of a cage as well as canes, trash can lids and chairs. Jeremy Borash screws up the name of the match in the ring intros, calling it a "Raven's House of Clockwork Orange" match. Kevin Sullivan comes down to the ring to be the Special Observer. Sandman comes out with a case of Milwaukee Best Ice Beer...which I am definitely not a fan of. It's all watered down and shiet. As Sandman comes into the ring, Raven nails him with a trashcan. Tenay tells us that the only way you can win this match is by throwing your opponent off of Raven's Nest through the tables set up there. Sandman comes back and places Raven on the guardrail, nailing him with a legdrop off the apron. West tells everyone not to try this at home. Tenay: "Don, you have all of these weapons at your house? West: "No, but you know how stupid people can be!" Raven is already busted WIDE open. Raven tries to drop toe hold Sandman into a trashcan, but Sandy hops over it and throws it at Raven. It doesn't hit and leads to Raven Evenflow DDTing him. If this was a regular match, it would be over by now. Raven then takes the piece of steel cage off of the chains, with Sullivans help and places it in the ring, whipping Sandman into it. Raven's face is a crimson mask at this point! Raven beats Sandman with a chain, some chair shots and a drop toe hold into a chair for a bit before setting up a table and putting him through it. Sandman gets up...and nails Raven with the Beer Case! He picks up some trashcan lids and beats Raven over the head with it. He takes the cane and NAILS Raven in the head with it! Raven's hair is slowly turning to red.... Sandman and Raven head up to the top of Raven's Nest! Sandman is ready to just knock Raven over, but Raven is able to get a boot up and block a trash can shot. They go up higher where Sandman goes to nail Raven with a trashcan lid, but Raven uses a fire extinguisher to blind him! He grabs Sandman and throws him over, crashing through THREE Tables to win the match!
Winner: Raven
My Opinion: Entertaining brawl and the idea didn't seem too bad. Raven bled like his name was Steve Corino and carried Sandman through another one. Sullivan didn't really interject himself too much in this match except for handing them weapons. *3/4
After the match, Raven, who is a BLOODY BLOODY MESS, comes back into the ring and gets on the STICK~! He starts DRIPPING BLOOD ONTO THE MICROPHONE as he calls out Jeff Jarrett. He says that he'll take his title shot right now if he has to, seeing as how Jarrett won't accept him at 100%. Raven's hair is now completely red as Jarrett comes down to the ring with the title belt and nails him with it! Jarrett starts abusing Raven physically, making him bleed even MORE but AJ Styles comes into the ring! AJ nails Raven in the head with a chair accidentally and then hits Jarrett. He goes after Raven at ringside as Flair and Lawler come down and jump on Jarrett. Jarrett gets the better of them and takes Flair's burlap sack and uses it on them! Watts comes from behind and nails Jarrett with a baseball bat! The three of them beat the hell out of Jarrett as Flair finally exposes what's in the sack....a replica of the NWA title. It looks a bit smaller than the actual title though. They beat the hell out of Jarrett some more as the show goes off the air....
End of PPV.
Overall: This was one of their better shows as of late. While we didn't get anything as good as Juvi/Lynn from last week, overall it was a better show wrestling wise. The angles are actually making sense now and SEX is practically dead. Other than the production value of tonight's show being dismal, I say its a thumbs up baby.
Til next week,
The Dames, Damian Gonzalez
Any questions, comments, whatever...send it all to [email protected]
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