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Wrestling > TNA

TNA Xplosion Report for 4.13.2003
Posted by Josh Lowmon on Apr 15, 2003, 04:41

Just a note to start out with, this is the second time I have seen ANY TNA. Mostly due to the fact that I work Wednesdays and I just now found out that Xplosion is on here in Washington State (KHCV for those in WA). But I am glad for the alternative to what the WWE is putting out so lets take an adventure as Josh tries to figure out who the hell some of these people are and what the hell is going on.

Let me tell you this is so much easier to write with a laptop and a wireless network in your house. I can sit here on the couch with my ice water and honey-roasted peanuts (homemade by the way, look for the recipe at the end of the report) and recap while surfing the net too. Life is sweet like that.

We start the show off with a shot of New Jack debuting and hitting Daniels with a trash can lid (I HATE trashcan lids. As a matter of fact I stop reviewing a match the minute someone hits someone else in the head with the ever harmful… trashcan lid) and move onto the stock footage of shit blowing up intro. Random observation #1: They still have Piper in the intro and WrestleMania has been done with for 2 weeks at this point.

Mike Tenay and some other guy (couldn't catch the name) are our commentators for this Sunday. We start the show with a match between "Pitbull" Gary Wolf and "Killdozer" Brian Lee w/ Father James Mitchell. Random observation # 2: There are no titles to say who the fuck is coming out. I had to go look up who Brian was because I couldn’t hear Tenay after rewinding 5x but a simple text of who he was when he came out with would have made that a lot easier. Random observation # 2 ½: Killdozer?

They start out with a tie-up until Brian powers him into the corner and gets him with the knee and a few punches. Pitbull decides he isn’t going to take it anymore and reverses Brian into the opposite turnbuckle and then catches him with a clothesline. Brian bails to consult with his manager.

Pitbull follows and punches are exchanged until Brian gets thrown into the guard rail and choked out by Pitbull. Pitbull gets reversed into the guard rail and also gets a header into the steps. Back in now and Pitbull hulks up as Brian pounds on him. Pitbull with a fuck you and then proceeds to pound him into the turnbuckle. Reverse to the corner followed by a splash.

Brian off the ropes and into a powerbomb and pinning attempt by Pitbull until typical manager distract of ref. Brian gets a two count out of that distraction as Pitbull kicks out and sends Brian to yet ANOTHER corner and gets the boot to the face and a tombstone for the 1-2-3.

Decent match but would have been much more enjoyable without the manager interference. And what was with EVERYTHING being a move coming out of the corner? Christ.

Promo for the Wednesday NWA: TNA PPV. I guess I really show order since I get 50% off anyways and it means it would be only like $4. Hopefully they can convince me to do that.

Denise Austin commercial.

Jeremy Borash and Bert Prentice hype the April 30th match between Raven and Jeff Jarrett for the NWA World Heavyweight Title.

Highlights of Dusty Rhodes and Brian Lawler from Wednesday.

Money loan scam commercial.

Horace the Psychopath vs. David Flair is the second match of the day and this Horace guy is wearing face paint and scrubs and I'm already beginning to hate this match even BEFORE David Flair comes out.

Horace with a before the bell attack because he’s... you know… a psycho and all. David sent to the corner and got with a shoulder toss. Horace pounds him in the corner and gets him with a bulldog and goes for the pin. Only gets 2 as Flair kicks out.

Horace up top but gets dropped with an atomic drop. Flair says he’s smart and gets clothes-lined. Head butts galore from Horace. David sends him outside and into the guardrail and then they take turns sending each other’s heads into it. Flair chops and David sends him inside.

David hits him with the neck move that Curt Hennig used all the time when he would flip over his opponent while holding the guys neck and it would snap back. Horace reverses the Irish whip but gets caught with a back elbow. Flair goes up top for a drop kick but it was blocked. Horace with a DDT and a splash into the pin but gets only two. David sent into the ropes and gets knocked down with a shoulder block. Horace gets greedy and goes to the top rope only to be brought down with a powerbomb variation that I’m not familiar with and gets the pin.

Blah match.

Coming up: Trinity! I can hardly contain my excitement. More hype for NWA: TNA PPV.

Ultra cheap commercial for a rip-off cell phone company called…… Savvy Call whose big selling point is making cell phone calls to Mexico for 11 cents.

Random Observation # 3: Why does Vince get shit for putting out TNA when TNA actually has girls in cages shaking their ass?

Erik Watts video which looks to be shot with a hand camera.

The Dynamic Duo in crime shill some more.

Commercial for us to all get green and recycle.

Brigham Beau with The Controversial Eddie G and Miss Walsh (Or old pimp looking white guy and his trailer trash hoe) vs. Slash with Father James Mitchell is next. Random observation # 4: Does everyone HAVE to wear leather these days?

Slash attacks early and beats him into the corner and reverses him into the corner and picks him up for a botched spot that was supposed to be a Twist of Fate. He just picks him up and hits it anyways. Love that dedication to hitting the move.

Eddie G tries to mess with Slash and then runs off like a pansy. Beau over the top rope but gets caught by Slash who then takes him up the ramp and nails him with a sit out powebomb. Beau just bounced off the ramp. Slash throws him back in and gets two. Slash goes for what looks like a Razor’s Edge but Beau slides off and snaps his neck off the rope.

Springboard clothesline by Beau and the cover attempt gets 2. Knife chops in the corner before he whips Slash into the the opposite corner. Beau with a belly to bell suplex and cover for 2. The Pimp is angry with the ref. Beau misses the spinning heel kick and Slash gets a sit-out choke slam? Slash with a whirly bird and then he looks scary by showing off his contacts. Stunner and then a cover for 3. Eddie gets taken out with a pile driver. Wrestlers up, pimps down yo.

Most entertaining match so far but it was pretty much the two taking turns beating on each other with no real comebacks at all in-between.

Another money loan scam commercial.

Last match of the hour is BJ Payne vs. "Cowboy" James Storm. Lock up to start out with. Payne with some couple shoulder blocks and then is tossed outside.

Payne gets back in only to get the crap kicked out of him. Storm tries to reverse Payne out of the corner but gets reversed. Payne eats boot but is able to powerslam Storm into a 2 count. Punching and kicking for quite a little bit. Payne tries to throw Storm outside but James manages to hand on.

Side slam by Payne gets turned into a head scissors. Bunch of pin reversals until Payne catches him with a power bomb. Superkick by Storm and only gets two on the cover. Storm blocks the reversal of the Irish whip and gets the 8 second ride for the pin.

Borash and Co hype PPV and NASCAR.

Commercials for a class action lawsuit.

Highlights of Laree vs. Trinity from the PPV. Random observation # 5: They do have name graphics for the PPV apparently but can’t spare a few bucks for the syndicated show? Trinity gets the win and a DDT from Raven. Raven takes Laree through the crowd.

More crap from Borash.

Highlights from D’Lo vs. Jarrett which ends with Jarrett hitting Laree with the chair.

That’s all for the show.

Thoughts: On my first real sit down viewing it was pretty good for a syndicated show and nothing was horribly bad. Perhaps I will try and catch one of the TNA replays on Sunday and see what the A show has to offer.

Feedback is always appreciated. You can hit me up here. Just remove the x’s.

Honey Roasted Peanuts Receipe:

2 c Peanuts
2 T Butter
2 T Honey

Preheat oven to 350F. Place peanuts in bowl. Heat butter and honey together. Toss with peanuts. Lay on cookie sheet and bake at 350F for 5 to 10 minutes or until peanuts are golden brown. Put peanuts in plastic back with about a tablespoon of sugar and shake the hell out of it. Let cool for about 15-20 minutes and get your munch on.


Josh Lowmon - Truth, Justice and Rule yo.


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