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A PCN Deathmatch Double Shot: Part 2
Posted by The Paradise City Ninjas on Jun 25, 2004, 22:33
Due to personal issues, I was unable to complete my end of this doubleshot, however since JC did such a tremendous job, his article will and deserves to stand alone here. However, since CZW's 3rd Tournament of Death is around the corner, we won't be done with deathmatches just yet, as both TODs and Respect will be covered before July 24th, as well as maybe a couple surprises. In the meantime, enjoy the IWA ultraviolence.
J.C.:Well, after the rousing response I received after the last review (which I’d know nothing about, since I’m writing this one here before Princess Jay finished up his shit and posted it.), I decided I might as well go ahead and do night 2 of KODM. If you want to know what occurred during night 1, check out the review of that, you lazy bastard you.
I did all of the introduction stuff last time, so I’m not gonna do it again.
No Ian Rotten gabfest to start, since we have FOURTEEN matches to do. The ring announcer is Rico, who, as always, is blitzed out of his mind.
Normal Wrestling Match
Striker vs. Brad Bradley
Matt Striker/Martel came along on the East Coast bus trip and wanted to wrestle. Brad Bradley’s a big ol’ boy. The week before KODM, he broke the IWA-MS ring while running the ropes before his match, dumping him on his head out on the apron. He’s fine, though, and now IWA-MS has a new ring, or until Brad breaks it again. Gotta love them hosses.
Short five minute match, as they start out by chain wrestling, which Bradley is a little too big to be doing. Striker does a good job of putting Bradley’s offense over, as he bumps off of every forearm shot and avoids the lariat multiple times. The match ends before it could really get cooking, as Striker hits the Lungblower (weird-ass drop down knees to the lower back type move, popularized by John Walters), which Bradley more or less no-sells and murders Striker with a lariat for the win. Again, the match was too short, mostly because of the stacked lineup, and never got going. Both guys looked decent, though did nothing to write elaborately on the Internet about.
Winner: Brad Bradley
Tag Team Match
“The Next” Alex Shelley & “Barbaric Berzerker” Jimmy Jacobs vs. Adam Flash & Sonjay Dutt
First off, in his usual drunken haze, Rico completely butchers Sonjay’s name. He doesn’t even come close. This leads to Sonjay berating Rico and the crowd of morons. Sonjay tells Rico how to correctly pronounce his name (Son-jay Dutt, not Sun-jey Duut), but Rico just stumbles on with the rest of the ring introductions. And then the match starts…
BUT WAIT! Nate Webb and Becky Bayless come out to join the party. Nate wants to get on down with his bad self in this match, but doesn’t have a partner. Or so we think, since apparently M-Dogg20 showed up and wanted attention. Therefore, booking on the fly rule in effect…
Crazy Flying Triple Threat Spotfest Three Way Dance of Impending Doom
“The Next” Alex Shelley & “Barbaric Berzerker” Jimmy Jacobs vs. Adam Flash & Sonjay Dutt vs. “Spyder” Nate Webb & M-Dogg20 (w/Becky Bayless)
BACKGROUND TIME! In late 2002/early 2003, XPW decided to start running on the East Coast in Viking Hall. They helped get a deathmatch (i.e. barbed wire and lighttubes) ban established in Philadelphia, though CZW helped out by running an over-the-top Wifebeater/Zandig match the weekend before the ban was created. XPW ended up getting a full-time lease on Viking Hall in 2003, driving out CZW and 3PW. That ended through something involving Fuck Rob Black’s porno company, Extreme Associates, and got XPW kicked out of Viking Hall, letting everyone else back in. XPW died shortly after that, but not before “stealing” some of CZW’s talents, namely Josh Prohibition and M-Dogg20 after Cage of Death 5, and Justice Pain in January 2003. This gave the feeling amongst many CZW fans, myself included, that the above three were “selling out,” especially given the competition between CZW and XPW. Now that all that drama is behind us here, I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if Josh Pro and M-Dogg returned to CZW down the line, but Pain won’t be back. It’s been noted that the locker room would murder Pain if he returned.
All that being said, Sonjay and Flash are mad at M-Dogg and want to hurt him.
As for the match, it’s notable for the insane dive sequence. Adam Flash starts it all off with a plancha off the ring post to the outside onto everyone. Then it kicks into high gear. Note that IWA-MS usually names the commentary/hard camera area after the last person to fuck someone up off of it. It was originally named the Spyder’s Nest after Nate Webb legdropped Nick Mondo through two stacked tables off of the nest at the 300th show, then the Bailey’s Nest after JC Bailey slammed Webb through two stacked barbed wire tables at April Bloodshowers 2003. With that in mind….
-Jimmy Jacobs with a crossbody off the Bailey’s Nest.
-Alex Shelley with a frog splash off the Huss’ Nest.
-Sonjay with a 450 off the Shelley’s Nest.
-M-Dogg with a corkscrew moonsault off the Sonjay’s Nest.
-Becky kinds falls off the M-Dogg’s Nest.
-Ref Brian Gorie with a somersault senton off the Bayless’ Nest, which he manages to overshoot and nearly miss everyone.
-Dave Prazak with a moonsault off the Gorie’s Nest.
-Finally, Webb with a corkscrew senton off the Prazak’s Nest to reclaim his turf.
A finisher sequence later, Sonjay pins M-Dogg with a Phoenix Splash after Flash hits a piledriver on a chair.
Winner: Adam Flash & Sonjay Dutt
Then the fun really starts, as Messiah and Nick Gage come out and pound away on M-Dogg and anyone trying to make the save until the face cavalry shows up. Balls takes offense to a “Fuck the East Coast” chant which had been popular amongst the crowd and rants about it, making the whole situation kinda awkward until Ian gets on the mic. Ian disses Sonjay and Flash and gets a thumb joke on Messiah, but says nothing about Gage.
As for the match, the dive sequence is fun, but nothing spectacular again.
Legalized Murder Match
Jim Fannin (w/ “Mean” Mitch Page) vs. Bull Pain
Jim Fannin is a manager and silent partner in IWA-MS. Bull Pain is a big biker guy who carries an aluminum baseball bat and swears a lot. Even for IWA-MS.
As for the “match,” which is supposed to have a stipulation of Bull having one arm tied behind his back, he’s jumped by Page and BJ Whitmer until some nut shots with the bat, wants to smack Fannin with a lighttube, gets jumped by Danny Daniels and beat down by Daniels, Whitmer and Page until the cavalry shows up again, at which point Bull cusses everyone out. Really didn’t need two big beatdowns/face saves in a row, and this could have been better done another time.
Winner: No Contest
KODM Round 2, Match 1
Mad Man Pondo vs. Axl Rotten
Lighttube Tables Match
This is what happens when a match goes completely wrong.
We could start off by mentioning the combatants, since both are slower brawlers and crappy-to-barely decent bumpers who usually need to be carried, and neither one is doing the carrying here.
Or the gimmick, which lends itself to big bumps only, instead of the smaller bumps which both men are somewhat capable of.
Or of the extremely contrived first bump, even for deathmatch wrestling. Pondo sets up one of the lighttube tables on the outside perpendicular to the ring, stands on the apron, and conveniently walks Axl to ring in front of the table, where Axl just happens to hit Pondo in the crotch and slam him through the table. Only fools and fake journalists from Ireland don’t see that happening.
How about the setup for the second bump, which is Pondo leaning a lighttube table in the corner, which later proceeds to fall and break most of the tubes.
Then there’s Pondo trying for his spot where he sticks a lighttube in between someone’s legs and kicks it, breaking the tube. Here, he successfully kicks Axl in the crotch twice before accidentally raising the tube and breaking it over Axl’s face, sending him stumbling blindly everywhere.
Even the final bump isn’t that impressive, as Pondo leans the lighttube-free table back against the corner and sandwiches Axl between that and the third lighttube table, then jumps off a chair and dropkicks the tables. Whooooooooo. At least it’s short.
Winner: Mad Man Pondo
Violence: Fun with glass and a small bed of plastic forks. Enough for round 2, especially with two more rounds in one night to go.
Other: Really nothing great about this match at all, other then wondering what could go wrong next. Even blood marks should skip this match.
KODM Round 2, Match 2
JC Bailey vs. Necro Butcher
Lighttube Casket Match
This should be just a little bit better.
The gimmick is a welfare wooden coffin in the middle of the ring, with some lighttubes placed in it. To win, you place your opponent in the coffin, close the lid, and then “destroy” the coffin, with “destroy” being fairly open to interpretation.
Of course, when you’ve got a big-ass immobile object in the middle of the ring, it means you’re going to have to mostly brawl on the outside, which is what Bailey and Necro do. They at least tease some of the casket stuff early on, to establish what the point of the match is, for those of you wondering why there’s a box in the middle of the ring.
The match then moves to the outside, where Necro proceeds to beat the piss out of Bailey, including leaning some lighttubes against the ring post on the apron and launching Bailey’s arm into them. The two then setup a spot where Bailey’s to suplex Necro off the apron onto a pile of chairs, but only Bailey lands on the chairs as Necro falls into a bunch of broken glass instead. The two of them continue with stiff shots and nasty bumps, especially for an early round match, as Necro Tiger Bombs Bailey on the outside, then drags him around the ring through leftover broken glass from the Rollin’/Page deathmatch, which still sucks.
The theme for the night, if not the whole tournament, is that JC Bailey’s arrived and he cannot be stopped. It shows in this match in how he finally manages to outslug Necro in one of their “kneel and punch each other in the head” fistfights, especially after Necro beat Bailey in one earlier with a smaller Juggernaut Headcrush. Bailey tosses Necro in the coffin first and signals for a double stomp, but Necro kicks the coffin open, giving that whole “he’s alive!” feel to the proceedings, especially with Dave Prazak’s call. Necro chokeslams Bailey into the casket and broken glass, which Bailey quickly hops out of, then Bailey slams the casket door onto Necro’s head and backdrops him into the casket before smashing the lid with a top rope somersault senton to dethrone the reigning KODM.
Winner: JC Bailey
After the match, Bailey’s concerned about Necro, who isn’t particularly concerned about himself.
Bailey (as they pull the broken lid out of the casket): “Doc! Doc!”
Necro: “No. Fuck no. I’m cool.”
That’s our Necro Butcher for you. Choose death everyone. The two have a male bonding moment and Necro wants Bailey to win the whole thing, and Bailey wants to win the whole thing, which is reiterated in their parking lot promo.
Psychology: Two fold: The gimmick itself and the theme for the tournament. The two do as good as job with the casket as can be expected, especially when you consider it made wrestling inside the ring nearly impossible. They teased the bumps into the casket and did it more than once, instead of brawling around for a while and then tossing someone in and breaking the coffin. As for Bailey, he’s gone over a deathmatch veteran and the reigning KODM, as he shows that he’s a force to be reckoned with.
Violence: For people who potentially have to wrestle twice more, they takes some nasty punishment. No “big” bumps per say, but plenty of small and painful ones, such as the ones into the lighttube and later broken glass casket, the stuff on the outside, and the two of them just punching each other in the head. Nasty stuff. I love it.
Other: I’m a huge mark for both guys, and while it sucks getting rid of Necro so early, I’d rather have him lose to someone like Bailey then someone like Axl. Best second round match of the whole show, maybe even night 2, but please feel free to continue reading. Oh, who am I kidding, I’ve already lost my audience.
KODM Round 2, Match 3
“Mean” Mitch Page (w/Jim Fannin) vs. “Hardcore” Nick Gage
Barbed Wire Canvas, Lighttube Ropes Deathmatch
For this, lighttubes are tapes onto the ropes, in the same setup for a House of Horrors/200 Lighttubes deathmatch, just with 20 tubes instead of 200. Barbed wire is also strewn across the canvas, making it tough to walk around in the ring without tripping, let alone fall in it.
Now, in the second round, you’ve essentially have six faces and two heels, Gage and Page. Why the two heels are paired up here I don’t know. Maybe it’s because the two have similar sounding names. Who knows. What I do know is that it’s not the best matchup for Nick Gage, as the majority of his offense (well, brainbuster and chokebreaker) are better suited for smaller opponents, and Page is much larger than Gage. This means Gage is more or less limited to strikes and whatever fan-brought weapons there are.
It also means that Mitch Page is going to throw around Gage for the majority of the match. Page dominates the match for the most part, tossing Gage through the lighttubes taped to the ropes, into lighttubes propped against the ring apron, powerbombing him onto a lighttube and barbed wire plastic Santa lawn ornament, and suplexing Gage onto a whole mess of lighttubes by the weapons depot in the corner. Unlike his match with Dysfunction, Gage gets pwn3d here.
As this match is mostly controlled by Page, who is fairly decent at doing such things, he allows Gage to get his comebacks every now and then. Gage launches Page into a face full of lighttubes, but that’s the only major offensive action which Gage has, other than bouncing a barbed wire NES off Page’s pumpkin head.
After stapling Gage’s paycheck to his head (five bucks), Page has Gage in the middle of the ring and signals for a moonsault, which would probably breaks IWA-MS’ new ring. Rollin’ Hard shows up (wheeeeeeee), powerbombs Page onto Gage, and then rolls Gage onto Page for the victory.
Winner: Nick Gage
Postmatch, Jim Fannin is mad that an IWA-MS guy let a CZW guy go to the semi-finals, Rollin’ makes us question his sexual preference, and Mitch Page admits he has nothing to do on the weekends.
Psychology: Page was in control of the match, and did a good job of letting Gage get in his short comebacks here and there, but as Page was in control of the match for the most part, it ran at a snail’s pace, and the two mostly brawled and used fan weapons.
Violence: Not much blood from either man, though Gage took some nasty bumps. Decent.
Other: A fairly forgettable match. Wasn’t terribly offensive, but not great either. FF if you’re not a fan of either man.
Promo time! Nick Gage pulls money off of his head and says he’s winning the whole tournament, while Page cuts another decent promo, telling Gage to watch his back. Of course, we don’t see Page for the rest of the night (yippie!) and I don’t think either man has returned to IWA-MS since KODM, so it’s a moot point.
KODM Round 2, Match 4
Balls Mahoney vs. Ian Rotten
Goddamn The Fans Brought A Lot Of Weapons Deathmatch
Once again, the people have glued a bunch of sharp stuff together and expect people to whack each other with it. And whack each other they do.
Or they’ll eventually will, as Balls and Ian decide to show that they can wrestle as well as bleed. The two grapple on the mat for a while, with Ian getting a barbed wire 2X4 assisted cross-arm breaker, sending the armbar marks into a frenzy. Ian and Balls jostle for a bit, then move onto the weapons.
Unlike other matches, where the competitors have no problems in smashing each other with the stuff, Ian and Balls really play up their friendship and apprehension in hitting each other with the weapons, especially Balls, who cranks himself over the head with a whippersnapper bat after he pops Ian with it. Ian knows better then to let friendship get in the way of a possible KODM win, so even after he professes his love for Balls (holy shit that’s a bad sentence), he pounds on Balls with various weapons, included a thumbtack bat and a lightbulb bat.
The moment which this match is most notable for is when Balls picks up a HUGE lighttube bazooka, which has been spray painted orange and resembles a huge popsicle. Apparently Balls doesn’t realize that they’re lighttubes, as he SMASHES the entire thing over Ian’s HEAD, who drops to the ground and starts convulsing as blood pisses out of his head. The stunned look on Balls’ face, which literally reads “oh shit,” says it all.
For the finish, Balls caringly places a lighttube under Ian’s head, thinks about a top-rope legdrop, changes his mind and goes for a regular legdrop, misses, and then grabs the tube and breaks it over his own head. Okkkkkkkkkay. Ian gets a slow motion La Majestral cradle for the victory.
Winner: Ian Rotten
After the match, Balls breaks another tube over his head and the two split a banana. Then we get some stuff about someone setting off a fire extinguisher, as it leads to Balls and Ian playing a prank on some morbidly obese kid in the front row with the worst haircut I have ever seen. It’s similar to the roid freak’s from Tough Enough 2, but shittier.
Psychology: In a fans bring the weapons match? Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!
Psychology: 2, as the two of them would apologize for smacking each other around, though it sure didn’t make them swing those weapons any slower.
Violence: They used a good amount of the fan supplied weapons, and that bazooka shot to Ian’s head is nasty as anything you’ll see in the whole tournament.
Other: This was just an odd match. After the opening wrestling, which really didn’t go anywhere other than giving a chance for Ian to get in his hardcore armbar, the two worked a slower match, apologizing for everything they did to each other. It was just surreal, and I can’t tell if that’s a good or a bad thing, which is supposed to be my job here. It’s better than Pondo/Axl (like that’s hard) and Gage/Page, but not as good as Bailey/Necro.
In the back, Balls is giggling like a schoolgirl, while Ian dedicates the match to “Rocco Rock” Ted Petty, since Petty said that “wrestling wasn’t fun anymore,” and Ian and Balls had fun out there. R.I.P.
Normal Wrestling Match
Colt Cabana vs. Nigel McGuiness
Colt Cabana’s a stand-up comedian disguised as a wrestler. Nigel McGuiness works a British mat style of wrestling.
Before the match starts, Colt gets a couple one-liners, then reaffirms himself as a heel as he puts over the CZW crew. Once the match starts, Colt shows his inability to take anything seriously as he mocks Nigel’s British style after being completely baffled by some of the stuff Nigel used earlier in the match, but only he mocks Nigel for “speaking a foreign language.” That whacky Colt Cabana. Once they settle down, they work a decent match with Colt using strikes for his offense and Nigel continuing to use his mat work. Nigel ultimately gets a pin with a bridge in a short match, about eight minutes.
Winner: Nigel McGuiness
Wasn’t a bad match, but it shows the downside to loaded cards such as this one. When you’ve got so many matches, it means time has to be sacrificed if you want to get out at a realistic hour. These two could work a good match if they actually had some time.
Normal Wrestling Match
Homicide vs. BJ Whitmer (w/Jim Fannin)
BJ (stands for Blow Job) Whitmer’s pretty much the biggest asshole in IWA-MS. However, he’s also a successful asshole, as he’s won the two tournaments held previous to KODM; the 2002 Sweet Science Sixteen/Ted Petty Invitational and the The Revolution Strong Style tournament held in May of 2003, both times defeating CM Punk in the final. A couple of weeks before KODM, Whitmer faced Homicide in ROH, where Homicide broke Whitmer’s nose.
Before the match starts, Whitmer takes credit for running CM Punk out of IWA-MS. Ian comes out and actually puts over Punk, saying that even if Punk didn’t feel that IWA-MS helped him out, Punk certainly helped out IWA-MS. Ian also says that he hopes Homicide breaks Whitmer’s nose again. Though I don’t think that could make the Hillbilly Jesus any uglier. Yeesh.
Once the match gets going, it’s Homicide in control for the most part. Unlike Hero/Homicide, this one never gets any kind of story established. Homicide pretty much kicks the crap out of Whitmer and even gets up on him in an Exploder exchange, which is pretty much supposed to be Whitmer’s move. When Whitmer gets the upper hand, he uses it to mock Homicide by giving him a couple standing knee scrapes in the corner, which just leads to Whitmer getting nailed by Homicide’s running knee scrape soon after.
Whitmer takes control of the match later on, but the only credible near-fall he gets is off a German into a Dragon suplex, as Homicide takes them both on his head. He goes for Homicide’s Cop Killer, but of course fails and eats a couple lariats for failing. Homicide ultimately counters Whitmer’s attempt at an Exploder ’98 into the Cop Killer for the win.
Again, unlike Hero/Homicide, this never established any kind of theme for the match. While the two pounded each other back and forth, Homicide was in control for most of the match. He never really looked like he was in danger, save after taking the two suplexes onto his head. It may have also been that after losing to Hero last night, you know that Ian isn’t job Homicide again, even against his golden boy Whitmer. It’s a decent match, but nothing memorable.
CZW Heavyweight Championship Match
Corporal Robinson (challenger) vs. Messiah (champion)
This came about as the two cost each other their first round match, letting the Rottens advance in their place.
The problem that these two have is that even though they’re familiar with each other, having worked the Michigan/Wisconsin indys, they aren’t strong enough wrestlers to put together a good match without the usage of weapons. Of course, this happens to be a whole card involving deathmatches, so any weapon stuff they do won’t stand out from anything else on the card. They can’t wrestle well enough to look better than Whitmer/Homicide and Hero/Daniels, and any weapon stuff they do will be outshined. They’re stuck in a bad situation with no way to get out.
That being said, they open the match up with some wrestling, as Messiah punts Corp in the crotch after a strike exchange and hits locomotion suplexes. Of course, they don’t wrestle for long as they move to the outside and use weapons on each other, trading shots with a thumbtack bat before Messiah brings a ladder into the ring, which is used for reasons other than climbing. Messiah ultimately uses the ladder to break lighttubes on Corp’s chest from the top rope, which then sends the match to the finish.
Corp sets up a steel coffin by the bleachers and places some lighttubes onto the chairs. The CZW wrestlers come out as Corp sets Messiah up for Boot Camp, but pauses to brawl with Gage on the floor. This gives Messiah the chance to powerslam Corp off the bleachers onto the contraption for the win.
After the match, it’s time for another heel beatdown, as the CZW wrestlers go to work on Corp. Flash smashes a bundle of X-Mas lights over Corp’s head and Gage sets him up for the bootscrapes as Jimmy Jacobs comes in to take out Sonjay and Alex Shelley comes in to take out Flash, one at a time. Gage is apparently oblivious to all of this as he mocks Corp in the corner, or at least until Chris Hero comes out to take out Gage. Which means it’s time, once again, for…………….
BACKGROUND TIME! At CZW’s Cage of Death 4 event, the H8 Club of Nick Gage and Nate Hatred were scheduled to defend their tag belts against two mystery opponents, which turned out to be Chris Hero and B-Boy. Rumor has it that Chris Hero said something negative about CZW in the back, which upset Gage greatly. In the match, the H8 Club were noticeably stiffer with Hero than B-Boy, as they gave Hero zero offense and absolutely crushed him with chairs and other shots during the match. Once they had pinned B-Boy, they resumed beating on Hero, as Hatred creamed Hero with another chair shot and Gage hit several bootscrapes. Needless to say, this led to tension between IWA-MS and CZW, which apparently has been settled since CZW guys, especially Gage, are in IWA-MS, and Chris Hero is back to working full time for CZW. He would later get his revenge on Nate Hatred, beating him at CZW’s Redefined.
Anyway, Hero pounds on Gage, who parades on the outside until Hero runs him off. As for the match, like I said earlier, they were caught in a tight spot and resorted to what they do best, weapon work, which failed to stick out from anything done in the first four deathmatches, even with the final bump. Again, nothing memorable. This wasn’t billed as a deathmatch, so it’ll be graded as a regular match.
IWA-MS Heavyweight Championship Match: Texas Deathmatch Rules
Danny Danniels (w/Jim Fannin) (challenger) vs. Chris Hero (champion)
Danny Daniels is the former ECW referee who has turned himself into quite the pro wrestler. Working the gimmick of the underappreciated asshole, Daniels spent a majority of 2003 claiming that he was the real IWA-MS Heavyweight Champion instead of Chris Hero. On a couple occasions Daniels had Hero beat for the belt, once in a Belt on a Pole match (Russo marks just starting rubbing their nipples hearing that), and in a 2/3 falls match. However, both times Daniels was robbed out of the title reign, as the official was down in the first match and saw Hero with the belt once they woke up, and Daniels winning fall in 2/3 falls was overruled as Daniels was caught with a chain and the match was restarted. After Hero lost the belt to his roommate Mark Wolf Daniels attacked Wolf, which would lead to Wolf leaving active competition and forfeiting the belt, which Hero would defeat Daniels for. Daniels would go apeshit and get himself suspended over his actions, leading to his return to IWA-MS at KODM to blindside Hero, which led to Hero demanding that he face Daniels tonight.
In a Texas Deathmatch, a person has until the count of ten to make it to their feet after losing a fall by pinfall or submission. In the event of a time limit draw, the person with the most falls win.
Daniels plans to jump Hero after Hero comes out of the locker room, taking advantage of that fact that Hero uses Three Doors Down’s “Kryptonite” as his entrance music and comes out when the chorus hits, which takes 73 billion years. Daniels waits and nearly jumps Corp, who comes out of the curtain, but it gives Hero time to sneak up on Daniels and jump him from off the bleachers. The two exchange strikes on the outside, with Hero constantly getting the better of Daniels as he shows off his frustration, before the two finally go into the ring, where Hero gets a Hangman’s Clutch to earn a quick tapout from Daniels and to go one-up in the match.
This brings up the idea that Daniels is simply going to prevent Hero from using various submissions on him simply by tapping out whenever Hero gets them on. However, once Daniels introduces this idea into the match, it is never followed up upon. If I’m Daniels, I’m tapping out whenever Hero threatens to put that hold on me, or even if he has me in a headlock. Anytime when it seems like Hero’s taking control, tap out and take the ten count to collect myself. Instead, Daniels introduces some psychology into the match and never follows up on it.
Daniels later gets a bridging pin to tie the match up at 1-1, and then it settles into the middle phase of the match. Daniels controls the pace and the tempo, wearing Hero down with holds, designed to soften up Hero’s upper body for his jumping piledriver, knowing that Hero’s too proud to submit to him. While Daniels is just nickel-and-diming Hero, Hero looks for the bigger bombs, the one or two moves which can put Daniels away for good. Daniels will control for several minutes, then Hero will get something like the Hip Dislocator (has victim up in Canadian Backbreaker position, spins them down onto the mat from there) or his top-rope reverse powerbomb. However, Hero never follows up on such moves, until he finally takes control of the match around the 25 minute point, where it kicks into high gear.
Hero gets Daniels with a Hero’s Welcome for the second pinfall to go up 2-1, but let’s his ego and hatred of Daniels get in the way and decides to punish Daniels more. He nails Daniels with a Rubix Cube for another pinfall to go up 3-1 and has the match won, since there’s no way that Daniels is getting up before the ten count. Hero instead decides to punish Daniels more, and pulls him up before the ten count once again. While Hero pulling Daniels up the first time could have been strategy on Hero’s part, since the Hero’s Welcome is a move designed to disable an opponent for a pinfall, not for a ten count, the Rubix Cube can keep someone down for a long time. Hero pulling Daniels up the second time shows that Hero’s more interested in punishing Daniels then retaining his belt, and that’s what costs him the match.
Jim Fannin comes onto the apron to distract Hero, and that’s all Daniels needs. A shitty Hero’s Welcome on Hero makes it 3-2, a piledriver makes it 3-3, and after Hero catches Fannin trying a belt shot, a piledriver, a belt shot, and another piledriver makes it 4-3, and with Hero unable to respond to the ten count, Danny Daniels finally becomes IWA-MS champion.
Winner: Danny Daniels (New Champion)
While this match told a better story than Homicide/Hero, it also had a large psychology gap in Daniels introducing an element and then forgetting about it. While Danny Daniels is a very competent wrestler, he’s a level below Homicide, and to see someone like Daniels pick apart Hero while Homicide couldn’t gives credibility to Daniels. I’m giving this a 9, since like Hero/Homicide, it’s a very good match, but has a large gap in psychology which prevents it from getting a perfect score.
KODM Round 3, Match 1
JC Bailey vs. Ian Rotten
For The Love Of God, Stop Bringing Weapons People! Deathmatch
Even though the fans have brought enough weapons to stock the Canadian army, Ian and JC each bring their own stuff out, as Bailey bring an electric carving knife and Ian brings a thing of salt. Oh boy oh boy. Bailey cuts some lemons with the knife before the match, making sure we have all kinds of fun stuff to get into cuts and sting like a motherhusser.
Ian starts the match off beating on Bailey, wrapping barbed wire around his own head to deliver headbutts to Bailey, before going to work over Bailey’s back. Ian utilizes the time-old tradition of smacking Bailey with something sharp, then dumping stuff onto/into his back. First Ian cracks Bailey with a staple and plastic fork bat and empties a lunchbox full of broken glass and salt onto him, who comments that it “fucking burns.” Ian then nails Bailey with a thumbtack bat and squirts lemon juice into the cuts before placing a plastic bag full of those whippersnappers on Bailey’s back and cracking with it a chair, leaving some noticeable burns on Bailey’s back.
This isn’t to say that Bailey doesn’t fight back, as the whole theme for the tournament has been Bailey overcoming the odds. Bailey keeps firing headbutts at Ian, who’s up there with the Samoans and Necro with people you don’t exchange headbutts with. That doesn’t stop Bailey, who uses the headbutt as his primary offensive weapon, to little success, though he manages to grind a lemon half into Ian’s forehead, emitting one of the crazy animal-sounding screams from him.
Much like Bailey’s first two matches, he gets the crap beat out of him for most of the match. Ian works Bailey over with the electric meat carver, then takes liberties with Bailey’s nipple rings. Inside the ring, finally, Ian powerbombs Bailey ass-first onto a bed of plastic forks, then dumps salt down the back of Bailey’s pants. The Rotten Rush (double arm DDT) looks to be all, but Bailey continues to fight, kicking out and making his big comeback.
Bailey breaks two lighttube bats over Ian’s head, who keeps standing, then throws a lighttube bazooka at Ian’s head to finally knock Ian down and out, as Bailey has beaten the 1997, 2001, and 2002 KODMs.
Winner: JC Bailey
The two have a male bonding moment after the match, as Ian puts Bailey over to the crowd, then does so again in the backstage promo. You can literally see Ian glowing as he talks about Bailey’s desire and just how proud he is of the kid. Bailey says that he’s got one more match to win to take it all.
Psychology: Despite that pride, Ian doesn’t work as well with Bailey here as Bailey did with Necro and Tony. In Bailey’s first two matches, he gets in reasonable offense and is able to make his comebacks when necessary, which allows Bailey to show off his determination for winning this tournament. Versus Ian, he takes a major pounding, then just about hulks up after taking Ian’s finisher and goes to the finish. The match just doesn’t flow as well as Bailey’s first two matches, partly because of the gimmick, partly because of how banged up the two are.
Violence: Bailey again takes another major pounding, as getting all kinds of stuff into your open wounds can never feel good. Not as visually impressive as previous matches though, as Bailey does an admirable blade job but Ian, surprisingly, doesn’t bring the blood.
Other: I like both guys, but this isn’t the best matches these two have had against each other, as they’ve had some brutal clashes later in 2003/early 2004, where Bailey’s turned heel and Ian’s trying to beat respect and knowledge into Bailey, telling him that he needs to know when to quit. It does a decent job of getting Bailey over here, but not as well as the matches with Necro and Tony did. It’s like Bailey going over Ian period was going to do the job, and I don’t think that’s enough.
KODM Round 3, Match 2
“Hardcore” Nick Gage vs. Mad Man Pondo
Caribbean Spider Net, Bed of Nails Deathmatch
A Caribbean Spider Net is barbed wire stretched across some small posts, with sharp stuff underneath it, like glass or lighttubes. Here, amazingly enough, there’s nothing sharp under the barbed wire, and it’s a fairly welfare Spider’s Net as well. A bed of nails is what you’d think it is, though IWA-MS borrowed MAW’s bed of nails and that thing is huge, about the size of a door with lots of long-ass nails on it.
The problem with Pondo and Gage is that both are real spotty with their selling. Something which could kill a normal man barely keeps these two down for more than thirty seconds, or forty-five if they’re really feeling it. And once they’re up, it’s like nothing has happened to them at all. We know Pondo’s incapable of doing anything right, but I’ve seen Gage do a decent job of selling a knee injury at times, which makes me believe he’s too caught up in his tough guy gimmick to really sell a limb.
Gage tells Pondo to come back “home” to CZW and offers him a CZW shirt, most likely one of the twenty that was printed, since CZW can never keep enough shirts to sell and never print more once they’re out. It’s like they’re afraid of making money or something. Pondo apologizes for screwing CZW out of money in Japan, says he’ll come back once Zandig announces his retirement, and clotheslines Gage to start the match.
Pondo proceeds to place Gage inside of a shopping cart, place some lighttubes inside of the cart, and rams Gage into the ring, as the tubes fall out of the cart and into the ring, unbroken. Well done Pondo. Balls Mahoney joins us on commentary and joins in on the Zandig bashing, which is the other theme for the night. Pondo tosses the shopping cart into the ring, lays Gage on its side, and misses a second rope “senton” onto the cart.
Gage hits his bootscrapes, which are significantly less nasty than the ones Dysfunction took, and ends up being kicked in the balls by Pondo as he goes for a third. Pondo then suplexes Gage onto the bed of nails. PHYSICS LESSON TIME! For those of you who read Foley’s first book, you’d know how he mentioned that more nails equaled less damage, and he didn’t know why. It’s the same idea of why you want to land as flat on your back as you can when you bump in the ring. If you can spread out the impact which your body takes, it’ll affect your body less. If you were to jump from the ropes and land on a single leg, like say, oh I dunno, Sid, you know what would happen. That’s because Sid’s entire mass, times gravity, is putting all that pressure onto a single part of his body. However, if Sid was to land flat on his back, the impact area is significantly greater and the pressure is spread out. It’s the same way with nails. The more nails there are, the more you can spread the impact out onto your body. That’s why landing on lots of nails is significantly better for you then landing on only a few nails. Or at least as good as landing on nails can be.
Of course, we then get the opposite side of this equation as Gage powerbombs Pondo onto the nails, with only Pondo’s upper back and shoulders hitting the nails. Because less of Pondo hit fewer nails, that had to have hurt like a son of a bitch, and the look on Pondo’s face proves it. So remember kiddies, if you’re going to fall on nails, make sure you don’t do it half-ass.
We then get the sickest bump of the tournament, or at least one of the sickest bumps, as Gage sets up three tables pyramid style below the Spyder’s Nest, with about twelve lighttubes bridged across two chairs on top and two flat chairs on the bottom tables. The two go up to the Nest and kinda jockey for position before Gage suplexes Pondo off the platform through the structure. In theory. The tables were too close to the nest, so while Gage had a decent landing, or as decent as a landing he could get from that, Pondo overshoots the whole thing and crashes onto the cement. Goo.
Of course, both men are up after less than a minute and moving around, as Gage misses a frog splash and Pondo hits a shitter than shit TKO into the Spider Net to advance to the finals.
Winner: Mad Man Pondo
Psychology: Survey says?
Psychology: 1. I’m feeling generous.
Violence: Other than the big bump, which is as nasty as you’ll see in the whole event, and Gage powerbombing Pondo onto the nails, not much. Still, the ultraplex was nasty as hell.
Other: Gage had the role of the token outsider who makes it to the semis before losing to the home grown talent. Dysfunction filled in the role in 2002 before losing to Nate Webb and Gage fills it here. Not as bad as Pondo/Axl, but not one of the better matches for the tournament.
JC Bailey vs. Man Man Pondo
Steel Cage, Barbed Wire Ropes, House of Horrors Lighttubes Deathmatch
Originally it was to have been no roped barbed wire inside of the cage, but they decided to do barbed wire ropes since there’s really no point in doing no roped barbed wire inside of a cage anyway, and the show was already into Sunday morning at this point. House of Horrors is similar to the 200 Lighttube matches which CZW runs, but with fewer tubes and also tubes hanging from the ceiling, similar to wind chimes. In this case, there are a couple cables going across the top of the cage with tubes hanging down from them. There’s also a thumbtack shirt inside the cage, as well as a massive barbed wire and lighttube board.
Bailey, beaten to his breaking point, comes out with an electrical weedwhacker to show that he’s taking this tournament. Bailey’s taken weedwhacker shots before, if you’ve ever seen the backyard wrestling videos, but it’s still a surprise to see him bring it out, since Ian had previously stated that he would never let any of his talent use a weedwhacker after Mitch Page had wanted to take a shot from one. Pondo brings out Bull Pain, since Pondo can barely move after the bump in the last match. Pain and some other wrestlers have to literally lift and shove Pondo into the cage. Pondo is normally not the most mobile person in the world normally; in this case Bailey’s going to have to move and bump for three. Pondo also pulls something out of his pants (not his penis, thank Satan), and places it in the ring. FORESHADOWING HINT HINT HINT.
Which he does, of course. After an ugly attempt at a top rope rana which gets badly botched, Pondo leans the lighttube and barbed wire board and BRAINBUSTERS Bailey onto the board, with the barbed wire sticking to Bailey’s wifebeater, as the kid has finally put something on his torso. After being tossed into lighttubes against the ropes, Bailey puts on the thumbtack shirt and hits a top rope somersault senton, before wisely taking the shirt off.
Then the fun really starts, as Bailey plugs in the weedwhacker and hits Pondo with it from the second rope. Pondo kicks out and later, with Bailey in the corner with lighttubes in front of his chest, hits Bailey in the GROIN with the weedwhacker, again getting two.
We know the damage the weedwhacker can do, as anyone who has seen the before and after photos of Nick Mondo from TOD can attest to. Combined with Ian’s dislike towards the weapon, I can’t say it’s surprising that he would kill off the weedwhacker like that. Only the CZW people in the crowd have seen the weedwhacker and know of its power. However, the IWA-MS people have never seen one used, which allows Ian to introduce the weapon to the crowd, and kill it off at the same time. I’m guessing Bailey and Pondo pushed to use the weedwhacker in the match, and Ian finally relented, but booked it so that they would both kick out of shots. Therefore, weedwhacker doesn’t equal death in IWA-MS as it does in CZW, and is useless in the mid south.
Bailey, the person whom has fought back in every match in the tournament, springs to the top of the cage, but Pondo retrieves what he brought into the match. It’s an electric tazer, which he uses to zap the cage, causes Bailey to flip off the top and literally bring the roof down, as Pondo pins him, along with Nate Webb, Axl Rotten and Nick Gage to win the King of the Deathmatches.
Winner: Mad Man Pondo (2003 KODM)
Psychology: The entire theme for the tournament is ruined in this match. This is JC Bailey’s coming out party. He’s been known for doing crazy stuff before, he and Pondo did the Circus Deathmatch for Pete’s sake, and this is the moment where he goes from being the 19 year old future of hardcore wrestling to the present of deathmatch wrestling. He goes over a veteran of IWA-MS, the reigning 2002 KODM, and the 1997 and 2001 KODM and owner of the company, after being beat senseless in three matches in two nights, and when it’s finally supposed to be his moment, he loses. To a person who didn’t need the rub. I could care less what psychology they used in the match, which they didn’t, since it’s a Mad Man Pondo match, but if I gave negative scores, I’d give one here.
Violence: The brainbuster into the lighttube and barbed wire board was as sick, as Bailey took the majority of punishment in the match, of course, since Pondo can’t move. Bailey bumped his ass off again, for which he gets credit.
Other: Again, this was Bailey killing himself for a person who can’t even walk and doesn’t need the honor of being KODM. The reason why Pondo won is because Samurai TV in Japan was going to show KODM, and since Pondo’s known over there for his Big Japan work (though he’s not as over as Bob Sapp. Jesus isn’t as over as Bob Sapp over there. More Bob Sapp please.), might as well have someone whom is known be the winner. I want to like this match since Bailey died in it, as he did the whole tournament, but this whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Might as well give it the default score I’ve given everything else.
After the match, Pondo puts the fans over, all the faces get into the cage, and Ian tells everyone to come back soon now, ya hear?
Final thoughts on the tape set: I know I give a lot of the matches low scores, but that’s simply because most of the deathmatches were void of psychology, which is what happens when you have Mad Man Pondo wrestle four times. For thirty bucks, you get twenty-six matches on two VHS tapes, which is an astounding value. Blood marks will like Bailey/Tony, Gage/Dysfunction, Necro/Insanity, Necro/Bailey, Gage/Pondo, and maybe the final. Those who dig wrestling will like the two Hero matches, and maybe Shelley/Sonjay and Whitmer/Homicide. Spotfest fans will like the three-way tag. Puro fans will like nothing and tell you to die because you like this.
I recommend the purchase, just be ready to fast forward through a good deal of stuff. Again, this and all IWA-MS tapes can be picked up at Smart Mark Video, which is now releasing all CZW and IWA-MS shows on DVD as well as VHS. I’d imagine they’ll put out KODM 2004 on DVD a couple weeks after the show, probably 80 discs for $40.
As for KODM 2004, the first round matchups have been announced, but no gimmicks as of this review. I’ll give a quick preview of the first round and where I think the tourney will go from there.
“The Notorious 187” Homicide vs. “Low Life” Louie Ramos
The men have history in JAPW, as that is where Homicide broke into wrestling, doing deathmatches, and it is where Louie primarily competes today. Conventional wisdom would say that a bigger name, such as Homicide, would go over here, but take these things into consideration:
-While Homicide will do deathmatches, he’s mostly comfortable with barbed wire, versus glass and all of the other stuff.
-If Louie loses in the first round, he’ll need something to do night 2 and he sure as hell isn’t gonna work a regular match.
-Whereas if Homicide loses, there’s all kinds of possible non-tourny matchups. Homicide/CM Punk, anyone?
Therefore, I’ll guess a gimmick of Barbed Wire Boards and Louie gets the upset win.
Wifebeater vs. Dysfunction
CZW’s Wifebeater was known for taking inhuman amounts of punishment in CZW’s violent heyday of 2000/2001. However, shoulder surgery and other injuries combined with a year-long retirement have really slowed Beater down, even slower than he was before. However, I get the feeling that he’ll be the token outside who gets to the semis this year, especially since Dysfunction’s being offered up as a sacrificial lamb here. Gimmick wise, I’ll say Four Corners of Pain again for Dys.
Necro Butcher vs. “Mr. Insanity” Toby Klein
A rematch from 2003 KODM in Round One. Again, it’ll probably be Fans Bring the Weapons, and again Necro will go over.
Ryan Boz vs. Smokey C
Ryan Boz is one half of the IWA-MS tag team champions with Brad Bradley. He’s also not known for doing deathmatches at all. Smokey C is someone from West Virginia whom Pondo knows. That being said, Boz goes over here, most likely in a Taipei Deathmatch.
“Hollywood” Chuck Hogan vs. Manslaughter
I don’t know anything about these two fuckers, other than that they probably suck the Dark Lord’s greasy cock. I don’t care who wins, let’s say Manslaughter since he’s been in KODM’s before, and the gimmick is a Barbed Wire Bat match.
Corporal Robinson vs. 2 Tuff Tony
On one hand, we’re being give a balls-out great first round match. On the other hand, it’s a first round match! Two of the best workers in the whole thing, and one has to go out this early! It’s not fair maaaan, it’s not fair. FBTW for these two, and Corp goes over. Should be the best match of round 1 in a landslide.
Deranged vs. Tank
Deranged is the fat deathmatch worker from Milwaukee, not the stoner Special K member who’s been swinging from Teddy Hart’s nuts lately. He’s also known for puking during his 2001 KODM match. Tank is from NWA Wildside, and while he’s not known for doing deathmatches, unlike the No Pain Train Iceberg, he’s a good worker for his size (around three bills) who can do strong style stuff with the best of them. I’d rather drop Tank in round one and let him show his stuff in a non-tourny match on night 2, but since the Milwaukee crew is going home early again, that means Tank’s going over Deranged, in a bed of thumbtacks match.
JC Bailey vs. Mad Man Pondo
Last year’s final, as you’ve just read. This brings up an interesting conundrum, as it’ll be odd for Ian to job out last year’s champion, but to job out the “future of hardcore” in round one? It’s another odd round one pairing in KODM, and I can’t see Ian jobbing out Bailey this early, especially since it’s the last KODM and the only Corp has as many people wanting him to win than Bailey. I’ll say Barbed Wire Tables, and Bailey gets the win after doing Nate Webb’s dive to put Pondo through two stacked tables.
So, this leaves us with a round two of:
-Manslaughter/Chuck Hogan/Shit either way
You’ve got three competent deathmatch workers in Corp, Necro and Bailey, which obviously means two of them will be paired against each other. Two guys who don’t work deathmatches in Boz and Tank, and then people there to bleed in Wifebeater, Ramos and Manslaughter. What I’d do and what Ian will most likely do are two drastically different things, so here’s what I see Ian doing, with the second round being:
-Wifebeater vs. Tank
-Necro Butcher vs. Ryan Boz
-Corporal Robinson vs. J.C. Bailey
-Louie Ramos vs. Manslaughter
Wifebeater works well with people who can throw him around, and Tank can certainly do that. However, Wifebeater will go over instead. Necro will let Boz hit him as hard as he can before Necro goes to the semi-finals. Corp and Bailey will put on a balls-out match before Bailey advances, and Louie/Manslaughter will suck eighteen different ways before Louie advances to round three. That gives us:
-Wifebeater vs. Bailey
-Necro vs. Louie
It’ll be the end of the line for the outsiders, as Wifebeater will fall to Bailey and Necro will tee off on Louie’s rotund head. That gives us a final of:
-Necro Butcher vs. J.C. Bailey
And lord knows what gimmick those two will have. I’ll guess barefoot thumbtacks with lighttubes, barbed wire canvas and ropes with salt on the canvas. Ow ow ow.
That’s it for me, check out the site when it’s done, feedback at this address, and check out some indy wrestling. It’s good for you.