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TNA
Raw from JHawk's Beak (5/17/2004)
Posted by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins on May 17, 2004, 22:25
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Raw from JHawk's Beak (5/17/2004)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins
Time got away from me this week, so let's barebones it tonight.
Tonight: We will determine the number one contender to the World Heavyweight Championship for Bad Blood, as 20 men (including a returning Maven, replacing the recently fired Grand Master Sexay) do battle in an over the top rope battle royal. Plus, Trish Stratus takes on Lita one-on-one, but Lita also has to answer whatever Kane's question was. All this and more tonight on Raw!
Segment 1
Live from the Sports Arena in San Diego, California! Good Ol' JR and The King bring you Randy Orton and Batista against Edge and Chris Benoit for the World Tag Team Championship! Plus that 20-man top contenders battle royal! But first...
One fall: Lita vs. Trish Stratus
This was made last week when Trish pretended Kane was closeby and scared the hell out of Lita, and Lita responded by going postal. Eric Bischoff has banned all outside parties from ringside. Jack Doan calls for the bell as Trish taunts Lita about being scared last week, and Lita picks up where she left off last week. Into the corner goes Lita, and Trish begins to take control with kicks and forearms. Lita punching back and taking Trish down with a flying headscissors. Roll up for 2. Hotshot by Trish, and she chokes Lita against the ropes. Chokehold while sitting on the top turnbuckle. Clothesline for 2. Swinging neckbreaker. Lita blocks a roundhouse kick and rolls Trish up for 2. A near fall for Trish, and she goes back to the neck with a sleeperhold. Lita fights out of it but runs into a spinebuster for 2. Back to the sleeperhold. Lita fights out of it and counters the Stratusfaction with a back suplex for 2. Snap suplex, nip up, clothesline, clothesline for 2. Russian legsweep for 2. Facerake by Trish. Hair pull into an inverted Twist of Fate by Lita for 2. And on the Titantron comes Kane, and he wants his answer, bitch! The distraction leads to Trish getting a roll up (with the feet on the ropes for leverage) for the pin at 6:08. Better than I expected. *3/4 Kane comes on the Titantron again, and he apologizes for distracting her, but he wants an answer tonight, and she's better pray it's the right one.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
I'm actually pleasantly surprised by this one. Trish worked on the surgically repaired neck of Lita for most of the match, and Lita just took it to Trish early on. Unfortunately, by the end of the match I'd lost the sense that Lita was angry with Trish for her actions last week. It was certainly no surprise that Kane made his presence felt and affected the outcome of the match, but what question did he ask? And is any answer Lita gives actually the right one? Knowing Kane, he might say it's the wrong answer either way just to beat somebody up.
Segment 2
Randy Orton makes his way to the ring for some mic time. He likes to talk about himself. How he beat Mick Foley twice. How he beat Edge last week. And how he's the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion in seven years. (Six years, actually, as The Rock held it from December 8, 1997 to August 30, 1998 -- a shade under nine months.) And after tonight, he'll be a double champion, yep yep. But tonight isn't just about Randy Orton, but also Evolution, particularly Triple H. Orton predicts victory for Triple H in the battle royal tonight and against Chris Benoit at Bad Blood. Thankfully, All About Shelton Benjamin cuts him off. He reminds Orton that he beat Triple H twice, so tonight's about Shelton Benjamin getting that title shot at Bad Blood. Orton admits that Benjamin's been lucky, but luck runs out. Orton claims he's better than Benjamin, so Benjamin challenges Orton to an Intercontinental Title Match. Orton: "You sure are uppity, man." Benjamin off-mic: "Uppity?" Orton declines, claiming it would soil the championship. Benjamin: "Since you won't put up, try getting up." There's a right hand and a mini-beatdown by Benjamin, and here comes The Man WHOO! to get Orton the hell out of the ring.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
So we plant the seeds for an apparent match between the two at Bad Blood, and that could actually be one terrific contest. Now you have to wonder exactly what will happen between the two in the battle royal tonight, because there's no way they don't square off against each other at some point in that one.
Segment 3
Somehow we get ten seconds of last week's Tajiri-Batista match where the WrestleMania XX DVD commercial should have started.
Orton tells Flair, Hungry Hungry Hippos, and Batista that he'll be OK, but between the tag team title match and the battle royal, they have more important stuff to worry about.
William Regal discusses Eugene's big win last week, and Regal tells him not to get too excited. In comes Eric Bischoff to congratulate Eugene, and Bischoff asks for a word with Regal. Regal apologizes for not getting the job done, so Bischoff tries a new approach: humuliation. Bischoff has arranged an interview for tonight, and Eugene must make his way to the ring alone. Meanwhile, Eugene has been playing with bowling pins and fire extinguishers in the background.
Your hosts talk about Eugene, who isn't in the battle royal. And neither is Shawn Michaels, who was suspended after interfering in Triple H's match last week.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Of course, whatever Bischoff has in mind is going to end up going Eugene's way, as they've actually gotten the gimmick over and can't make him look too bad too soon. You have to wonder how many weeks it will be before Eugene catches on to what's going on and we get that Regal-Eugene match, because I can't see this being dragged out more than a month or so.
Segment 4
One fall: Kane vs. Val Venis
Last week, Kane attacked Val backstage, leading to the cancellation of Venis-Matt Hardy. Venis with some right hands early, but Kane blocks a Russian legsweep. He misses the elbow, and Venis with more right hands. Venis runs into a vicious clothesline, and the Choke Slam ends it in 1:07. 1/4* Out comes Matt Hardy v.1.0, and he actually does quite a bit of damage on Kane. He grabs a chair, but he runs into a big boot, and Kane takes Hardy down with a Choke Slam. Kane ties Hardy into the Tree of Woe and chokes him with a camera cable. He wraps a chair around Hardy's neck and stands on it to choke him. Lita had better give Kane his answer right now. There she is, and she begs him to stop the assault. She reluctantly answers "yes", but much like the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything, we still don't know the actual question. But Kane smiles, so that's obviously the right answer.
The tag team title is on the line next!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Matches like this make me wonder why Val Venis is still on the roster, as it's obvious they don't want to push him or anything. This segment was done to further the Kane-Lita-Hardy triangle, and obviously Lita's agreed to marriage or some sexual favors or something. I only hope there is some eventual benefit for Hardy out of this whole deal, because right now he's essentially a pawn for Lita and Kane.
Segment 5
Earlier today, WWE superstars participated in a SmackDown Your Vote rally in San Diego.
One fall for the World Tag Team Championship: Chris BenOIT (World Heavyweight Champion) and Edge -- champions vs. Randy Orton (WWE Intercontinental Champion) and Batista -- challengers (w/The Man WHOO!)
You can still get third row seats at the Nationwide Arena in Columbus for Bad Blood, by the way. Seriously. Orton and Edge start. Side headlock by Edge, into the corner, clean break. Another headlock, throw-off, shoulderblock by Edge. Orton with punches, kicks, and forearms, and Edge with some of his own. Corner whip, backdrop. Front facelock and a tag to Benoit, who pounds away with forearms and chops. Eye gouge by Orton and a tag to Batista. Punches and a turnbuckle smash. Knees to the midsection. Whip, shoulderblock for 2. Tag to Orton, who kicks away. Corner whip, but Orton runs into a big boot. Forearms and chops by Benoit. Turnbuckle smash and a tag to Edge. Elbows and forearms. Elbowdrop and a cover, but they're in the ropes before the count. Snap mare by Edge, then into the reverse chinlock. Orton elbows out of it. A charge, but Edge backdrops Orton over the top rope. The champions both clothesline Batista over the top rope.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Psychology? Wrestling? What are those? Almost purely a brawl thus far, and a boring brawl at that. You think that considering Benoit and Edge have battled various combinations of Evolution almost nonstop since the draft lottery, we'd at least see a wild brawl if we were going to get a brawl. None of that so far.
Segment 6
Back live, and Orton works on Edge's left arm since the shoulder hit the ringpost during the commercial break. Edge tries to punch out of it, but Orton takes Edge down by the hair. Batista tags in and stomps away at the left arm. Hammerlock with the other arm trapped in a reverse half nelson. Batista gets kicked when he telegraphs a backdrop, but a clothesline by Batista forces Benoit to run in for the save. Orton tags in and stomps the shoulder. Armbar, and he uses the leg to trap Edge's neck. Nice. Edge breaks with a forearm, but Orton with forearms of his own. Orton misses a dropkick, but Edge executes a slingshot into the turnbuckle instead of making the tag. Edgeomatic for 2, and now he goes for the tag, but Orton stops it. Edge takes Orton down with a DDT. Double count by Mike Chioda, but only until Edge makes the hot tag. Snap suplex. Chops. Forearms. Backbreaker for 2. Double forearm shot, and Benoit goes after Batista. Orton after Benoit, but Benoit locks him in the sharpshooter until Batista makes the save. All four men in the ring now, and the champions ram Orton into Batista. Double elbow to Orton, but Batista clotheslines both men. Batista goes for the Sitout Power Bomb, Benoit tries to counter, and Batista whips Benoit into the referee. Benoit with rolling Germans to Orton. Benoit up top for the headbutt, stopped briefly by Flair, and Orton barely avoids the headbutt by using the Intercontinental Title belt as a shield. Orton drapes an arm over Benoit for 2. Edge with a spear to Orton and Flair, and Batista pulls Edge to the floor. Edge rams Batista into the steps, and in the ring, Benoit counters the RKO into the Crippler Crossface for the win at 17:32. **1/4
Regal tells Eugene that his interview is up next, so Eugene practices his scale to warm up. "Do re mi fa so la Tito Santana!" Eugene wants Regal to go with him, but Regal tells him to stand on his own. Eugene asks Regal if he's trying to tell him something, and he almost spills the beans before catching himself and wishing him luck.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
An exciting closing sequence saves this one, as we get some work on Edge's left arm, but for about the sixth week in a row it means nothing by the time we get to the end of the match. I really don't know what else to say about the match, as there was very little in the way of psychology outside of the arm work, which hardly took care of the majority of the match. But Benoit counters yet another finisher with the Crippler Crossface, proving he's the smartest wrestler alive.
And is Regal actually becoming fond of Eugene? That seems to be the case as he comes very close to telling Eugene exactly what Eric Bischoff is up to. That could add an interesting twist to the storyline as it progresses.
Segment 7
Still daylight in San Diego, and we still have that battle royal to come tonight.
Last week, Eugene defeated Rob Conway in spite of William Regal trying to sabotage the match.
In the ring, and Todd Grisham is set to interview Eugene. Sign in crowd: "Retard strength." Eugene hugs Grisham, and Coach comes out to interrupt the proceedings. Coach is apparently taking over for Grisham. Eugene is asked how the win feels, and Coach interrupts to tell Eugene the crowd was laughing at him. He tries to tell Eugene that the crowd would rather make fun of him than cheer him. Eugene takes it to heart, but the crowd chants for him. Coach tells him he only has a job because his uncle is Eric Bischoff and that he has no friends. He then plays the "girls will never like you" card. Coach tells him to go home and tell his friends how close he came to being a superstar...oh wait, the no friends thing again. Eugene leaves the ring fighting back tears...what the...? Holy shit! It's The Rock! And he brings Eugene back to the ring with him. And he tells Eugene he's not going anywhere. Rock almost forgets to say he's back in San Diego before going into his promo. He's heard Coach say the people don't like Eugene, but The Rock is only one who truly knows the people. And apparently The Rock was looking forward to meeting Eugene. And listen to the people...they like Eugene. Damn, Eugene's more over already than 3/4 of the SmackDown roster...it helps that The Rock's leading the chants, of course. Rock accidentally starts a "Screw the Coach" chant and goes "That's a good one, I've gotta remember that," then offers to be Eugene's friend. And since Eugene likes the crowd chants, let's start a new Coach chant before "Screw the Coach" catches on: "Popcorn fart." Coach reminds Rock that the last we saw him, he got his ass kicked at WrestleMania, which cues the "Screw the Coach" chant. Rock asks if that's what he thinks, and Eugene tells him it doesn't matter. Rock tells Eugene that only he and Mick Foley can use The Rock's catchphrases, and then Rock tries to get Eugene to say "The Rock" to a series of question like "Who's your boy?" But when asked who his favorite wrestler of all-time is, Eugene says "Triple H" because they both like to play games. Rock tells him not to embarrass him like that since Triple H only plays "hide the strudel" (and there's the nod to Lilian Garcia), then decides the three of them should play a game. Not checkers. Not dodgeball. How about Eugene kicks Coach's ass all over San Diego? Garrison Cade attacks Rock, and we get some double teaming, but soon it's all Rock and Eugene. Rock with the Rock Bottom to Coach, then he tells Eugene to do the People's Elbow. And Eugene's People's Elbow gets a monster pop. A handshake and a hug, and now onto the second turnbuckle to soak in the cheers.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
OK, let's give WWE creative some credit here. Somehow, and I still don't know exactly how, but somehow they were able to get Eugene over, so they decide to take advantage of the momentum they've been building and use a rare appearance from The Rock to put him over the top. And it helps to foil Eric Bischoff's wishes to make Eugene so disappointed that he goes home, which you knew just had to happen. The usual highly entertaining Rocky segment, and even WCW's old booking committee would have trouble screwing the Eugene push up now.
Segment 8
SmackDown Rebound focuses on Eddy Guerrero vandalizing Bradshaw's limo on Thursday and the WWE Title Match from Judgment Day. They fail to mention Bradshaw's victory was by DQ. They also fail to mention that there are more than two people on the SmackDown roster.
20-Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal to determine the top contender to the World Heavyweight Championship at Bad Blood
Triple H is the first man out. Other participants: Maven, Y2J+4 (who won the Undisputed WWF Title in this arena on December 9, 2001)...
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Most of the introductions will be made during the break, and we're giving this thing like 20-25 minutes over three segments. Battle royals usually suck by nature though, so hopefully that trend doesn't continue tonight.
Segment 9
On their way to the ring, Shelton Benjamin, Kane (who has already eliminated Matt Hardy from the battle royal), Edge (as we're informed Christian is injured and unable to compete), Randy Orton, Ric Flair, and Batista. Everybody except Kane targets Evolution, then Kane quickly eliminates <bjohnny monday nitro. Steven Richards is gone. Kane eliminates Rosey. Kane tosses The Hurricane into Rosey's arm, but Rosey caught him and dumped him back in before his feet hit the floor, so he's not eliminated.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Neat spot with The Hurricane and Rosey, but little else to note thus far.
Segment 10
There are still a lot of guys in there, but Rob Conway was eliminated during the break by a Maven dropkick. Val Venis tries to eliminate Maven, but Triple H comes from behind and eliminates both of them. Jericho tries to eliminate Triple H, but Batista makes the save. Benjamin gets a low blow. Jericho eliminates Sylvain Grenier. Jericho is nearly elimnated but skins the cat back in and eliminates Garrison Cade. All four members of Evolution are in and attacking The Man Beast Rhyno, who is eliminated by Batista. Triple H and Flair double team The Hurricane. Triple H and Batista eliminate Hurricane.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
What I like about this one so far is that we've established that Evolution is out there to eliminate everybody else and are working like a team. At this point, I'd almost like to see the final four be every member of Evolution just to see how it would play out, as I just can't see all three guys eliminating themselves for Triple H. But as a fan of great matches, I'd still rather see Jericho win and get the title shot to renew his rivalry with Benoit.
Segment 11
All four members of Evolution remain, along with Kane, Edge, Jericho, and Benjamin. (Somebody's missing. I'm counting 11 eliminated and 8 remaining to make 19. Did they just not replace Hardy?) Benjamin nearly eliminates Orton with a right hand, but he holds on. Edge tries to eliminate Orton, but Batista makes the save. Jericho works over Flair with mounted punches in the corner, and Flair takes him down with an inverted atomic drop and locks in a Figure-Four. Jericho reverses the hold. Kane tries to eliminate Orton, and Batista again makes the save. Jericho backdrops Flair, then clotheslines Flair over the top rope to eliminate him. Batista clotheslines Jericho. Batista throws Jericho over the top rope via the turnbuckle. Dammit! Benjamin nearly gets eliminated but pulls himself back in. Triple H with a facebuster to Kane, but it has no effect. Choke Slam by Kane to Triple H...and one for Orton...and one for Edge...and one for Benjamin...and he stares Batista down to a huge reaction from the crowd. They trade blows. Batista fights out of a Choke Slam attempt but gets knocked to the ropes with an uppercut. Whip, reversal, spinebuster by Batista. Edge eliminates Batista. Edge sets Hunter up...spear! Kane sits up and walks into a spear from Edge. Orton avoids a spear and uses the momentum to eliminate Edge.
Final Four: Orton, HHH, Kane, and Benjamin. Orton with a European uppercut to Benjamin. Forearm smash. Kick to the midsection. Chokehold. Hunter coming over for the double team. Benjamin fights out of the corner. Benjamin ducks a Triple H clothesline, but not the high knee. Hunter wants Benjamin eliminated, and Orton tries to oblige, but Benjamin holds on...a forearm by Hunter and he still holds on...and a right hand and he still holds on...and he makes his way back in. Wow. And one springboard bodypress takes both members of Evolution down. Over comes Kane, and Benjamin takes him down with the Dragon Whip...and then knocks Orton over the top rope. Benjamin with a Stinger Splash to Kane in the corner...and another...but he runs into Kane's chokehold and apparent choke slam, which is stopped by a Triple H low blow. Triple H dumps Benjamin over the top rope, and we're down to two. Out of nowhere comes the Holy Bible Kid, who clotheslines Triple H over the top rope for the elimination at 22:00, making Kane the number one contender. **1/2 HBK leaves through the crowd as Triple H stares him down from inside the ring.
END OF SHOW
Now, the longtime WCW fan remembers that when Chris Jericho lost the WCW Cruiserweight Title to Rey Misterio Jr. at Bash at the Beach 1998 when a suspended Dean Malenko interfered, he was given the title back due to that suspension since a suspended wrestler is not allowed in the building under any circumstances. Not that anybody in WWE remembers that stipulation (or would care). Honestly, the best way to go is to let the decision stand to set up Benoit-Kane for the title and HBK-HHH in Hell in a Cell as predicted for Bad Blood the whole time. The battle royal itself was very good by battle royal standards, as enough underdogs lasted long enough to make things interesting, but the final four were all guys that a majority of fans could probably buy as legitimate contenders. And the story of everybody in Evolution sticking together to help Triple H get the title shot was simply spot-on. The only downside is the apparent suspension of the Kane-Hardy storyline they had going, which explains the Hardy injury angle. I would be highly surprised if Hardy didn't interfere at Bad Blood and cost Kane the title.
Overall, I would normally hate a show that only featured four matches, but there was enough good on this one that I almost didn't notice. A good battle royal got nearly a quarter of the show, the Rock-Eugene segment was good and didn't seem as long as it was, and outside of the Kane-Venis match and the first half of the tag team title match there wasn't anything boring on this show. I hope they give Peter something decent on SmackDown this week, because the difference between the two shows has been so mind-blowingly obvious that I can't believe anybody's actually watching SmackDown.
You know how to send the feedback by now, right?
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